[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – “New Year’s Evil” –  Dec. 30, 2023
LIVE! From Dawsonville, Georgia

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Bridget O’Malley*
*if Lexie accepts Bridget’s challenge

• OOWF World Tag-Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Legion

• Katie Bardoor and a mystery partner vs. Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro

• The One-Notes vs. Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon

• Banned From Everywhere vs. Nuke and Alexander Darling

• Beverly Cambridge and Kylie Mignolio vs. The Battling Baristas

• The Woodsmen vs. TBD

• Rookie Royale: Ona Jones vs. Rory Thomas vs. Annie Horvath vs. Joe of The Electric Company vs. Jamie of The Electric Company

Card subject to DrMcAwesome hitting the egg nog way too hard

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find SANDRA FALLON and MAC FLASHER walking through Central Park in Johnstown, Pa., MAC’s hometown, and coincidentally right beside DRMcAWESOME’s place of employment, but KAYFABE is off for the holiday, so we won’t go any further on that tidbit. Anyhow, MAC and SANDRA are standing at the foot of a 36-foot tall artificial Christmas tree that plays music and will also have an illuminated light show in sync with the music during the evenings*

SANDRA: “So this is the big tree you were talking about? I guess it’s pretty big.”

MAC: “I mean, it’s not a redwood, but it’s pretty big by the standards of a Pennsylvania tree.”

SF: “So, hold tight, brah, I got something for you.”

MF: “Wait. I thought we were exchanging gifts when we got back to North Carolina.”

SF: “I couldn’t wait to get this one to you. You’ll love it, I promise.”

MF: “When did you have time to not be on camera and …”

SF: “Dude, this was why Fire shut off the cameras for a week. So gift-givers could actually keep gifts a surprise.”

MF: “Ah. That makes sense.”

*SANDRA runs to her car and pulls a box from the trunk before shutting the vehicle back up and walking briskly toward MAC with a smile on her face*

SF: “I swear if you hate this, I’m going to call Bridget and tell her that she was right about you.”

*MAC carefully opens the package to find a distinctly branded black shoebox. MAC’s eyes pop when he opens the lid to reveal a pair of Air Jordan 1s with a yellow-black colorway*

MF: “Wait … How? Every time I looked for these, they’re sold out. These must have cost you a fortune at a reseller site.”

SF: I just got lucky last week. Got them on Nike’s direct site. Paid retail. I love you and all, but I’m not paying triple what the shoes should sell for.”

MF: “Holy shit. I love these. Even though I think LeBron is the G.O.A.T., these are G.O.A.T. kicks. You fucking nailed this. I always wanted a pair of Air Jordans, but when you grow up poor, you have to settle for something a little less name brand.”

SF: “Well, you have them now, dear. You should probably lace those up and try them on.”

MF: “Here?”

SF: “Yeah. Why not. It’s a warm day by Pennsylvania standards. Plus I find the people-watching fascinating.”

*MAC takes to carefully lacing the new sneakers when BRIDGET O’MALLEY and THE ONE-NOTES catch sight of MAC and SANDRA. HARMONY, clad in their customary pink jackets, are in town as well since Johnstown is also BRIDGET’s hometown. Without much hesitation, HARMONY jumps MAC and SANDRA, giving them a very rough tour of the Christmas village strewn throughout the park. CARRIE and SANDRA can be seen fighting beside the tree while HARPER is holding MAC as BRIDGET picks up the discarded shoebox and the sneakers that were dropped when the sneak attack was launched. BRIDGET grabs the shoes by the laces and paintbrushes MAC across the face with them, immediately bruising his cheek. BRIDGET and HARPER keep roughing MAC up until SANDRA suplexes CARRIE into the tree. SANDRA chases BRIDGET AND HARPER off, but BRIDGET has the Jordan 1s in hand as they scurry away with CARRIE following*

MF *picking up an empty shoebox while seeing BRIDGET with the sneakers in her possession*: “They’re gone. I’m going to get them back.”

SF: “Brah … Just … Not now. Let them go. There will be other Jordan 1s.”

MF: “But those were special because you gave them to me … You gave them to me here.”

SF: “It’s not worth the fight right now. They’ll get theirs.”

MF: “And we’ll give it to them, or at least I will …”

*MAC storms off in the direction that HARMONY ran off toward as SANDRA followed with an expression that indicates she is equally perplexed and concerned as the scene fades*

[Zed]

Thanks to the wonder of split screen technology, we watch Zed as he takes a FaceTime call from Rev. BRICK~!

Z: You're calling me at 9 o'clock on Christmas Eve when we're trying to get Josie to go the fuck to bed. This better be life-altering.

B~!: Language! And it is, I assure you.

Z: *rolling his eyes* Go on.

B~!: Have you seen the latest promotional broadcast on OOWF.TV, free for just $6.66 per month?

Z: It is my goal in life to never see the latest promo.

B~!: Terrible, unspeakable acts have occurred. 

Z: Soooooo whose ass am I supposed to be kicking? If it's Nigel and Liam just trying to get under our skin, it can wait, we're not stooping to their level.

B~!: Oh, no.

Z: So it was Nuke, pretending he's still a high school bully?

B~!: No.

Z: ... Did Sean finally get tired of your schtick and leave you in a river? Because I might actually watch that.

B~!: It was Mac.

Zed's eyes narrow, and about this time Bridget walks into The Compound very inconspicuously carrying a shoebox and making a beeline to her room.

Z: I guess someone's getting shoes for Christmas.

B~!: How did you know? You said you didn't watch.

Z: I didn't? Whatever, don't worry about it. What did Mac say?

B~!: He said ...

Z: Go on.

B~!: He ...

Z: Spit out, c'mon.

B~!: Please don't be upset at me, I am merely the messenger.

Z: SAY IT.

B~!: He ... may or may not have referred to LeBron James as the G.O.A.T.

Z: ....

B~!: ... I didn't say it. He said it.

Z: This is worse than when he said Keisha Phillips was the best Backyard Sports athlete. 

Josie can be heard calling for Tio off-screen.

Z: Look, I've got to go. This is ... *deep breath* ... very heavy information you've shared with me, especially today of all days. But I appreciate you telling me. 

B~!: If you need me to do anything, let me know.

Z: No, I'm afraid he's too far gone. You can lead a horse to water, and so forth.

B~!: I believe anyone can find the way, the truth and the light.

Z: Yes, I know, ever the optimist. Anyways, I'll talk to you after we get to Dawsonville.

B~!: Take care, my son.

Z: You too, be safe out there.

The call ends, and the camera focuses on Zed, shaking his head as he heads down the hallway towards the shouting Josie.

Z: You think you know somebody...

FADE.

[L!zz~]

(We fade into the compound that is a hustle of activity...Mama Zed is en route but not there yet. Bev is hurrying down a hallway when she sees Zed head towards the sewing suite. "Uh oh" she says to herself and hurries to cut him off..)

"There's my favorite birthday guy." She said with a smile as she quickly caught up to him and took his hand.

Zed turned and smiled at her. "Hey babe. I was just going to see if Josie wanted to play some Madden." Bev kinda chuckled as Josie was getting quite good at it. "Oh she can't right now. She's...resting..."
Zed frowned. "Resting? Is she not feeling well?" He went to move around her but Bev cut him off.

"Don't disturb her." The ginger said taking his hand before he could open the door.

Zed frowned. "Beverly. ..."

Bev sighed. "Zed..it's your birthday....she doesn't want anyone in there...." She gave him a look.

Zed slowly grinned. "You couldn't just say that in the first place?"

Bev shrugged "I wanted to not spoil any surprise.." Zed slid his arm around her waist.

"Well I guess I'll have to find someone else to play with than.." a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

Beverly smiled, giving him a quick kiss. "I can spare some time.."

Zed took her hand and tugged her off screen

(Fade)

[L!zz~]

(Panning down the hall we see Kylie smile and shake her head as the birthday boy and her sister scurry off..truly happy for them she still sighs. She picks up her phone.)

Kylie scrolls thru her notifications but frowns as she sees she was left on read. Pursuing her lips, she tilted her head she considered her options.

"What ya thinking about?" Jeff asked as he came into view.

Kylie turned to him, shaking her head with a laugh. "My next course of action." Was her reply.

"Oh?" Jeff said curiously, "in regards to what?"

Kylie smiled, quick with her answer, but a bit too quick. "What I should do next for the party."

Jeff considered her response knowing she was hedging, "Well, I finished decorating the room.. Bridget and Spencer are setting up the area for the catering and Ashley is setting up the music...so what's left?"

There was silence before they looked at each other and spoke at the same time. "The surprise."

We fade as they head to the sewing suite.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find KATIE BARDOOR walking to the Junior Executive Office as PORK hobbles along on crutches. As the two approach the door, they are waved in by OOWF Assistant General Manager SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX*

SHIZURU-MUNE: “Katie. Pork. Have a seat.”

PORK: “If you don’t mind, I’ll remain upright.”

KATIE: “And I’ll stand in solidarity with PORK.”

S-M: “Whatever you two need to do. Anyhow, We just received a medical report on PORK’s injured knee. After rigorous testing, we cannot in good conscience allow PORK to compete tomorrow evening.”

P: “I understand. I tried my hardest to get back in …”

KB: “What? So you’re going to leave me to fight alone against Pete Quick and that skank Angie Delpetro? Just know that when I end both of their careers, it’ll be because they left me no choice.”

S-M: “Ms. Bardoor. You will not be left alone on Saturday. I was alerted to a recent application to our training center and after watching the video on this competitor, I feel that I can give you a capable partner. At least for one night.”

KB: “Let me guess, it’s Forest or Dennis from the English branch of The Woodsmen.”

S-M: “They’re booked for another event tomorrow.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE writes two words on a piece of paper and slides it across his desk where KATIE picks it up, looks at the name and smiles before showing PORK, who gets red-faced and immediately hobbles out of the room in a rage*

KB: “I’ll work on PORKY, but this will do just fine.”

*KATIE, with a grin, walks out in pursuit of PORK as JEFF MANGYUNIKU brushes past KATIE and barges into the office*

S-M: “Jeff! I wanted to talk to you.”

JEFF: “Stuff it. I overheard that conversation. I’ve been begging you off camera for months to find me, your own brother, a tag partner. Nothing. PORK gets kneecapped and Katie gets a partner like that. It’s like you don’t want to see me thrive in this company. I used to think that you were holding me back to protect me from getting hurt, but now I see that you’re holding back because you don’t want your little brother to overshadow your meager list of in-ring accomplishments in OOWF. Forget that I ever asked you for anything.”

*JEFF storms away before SHIZURU-MUNE can say anything in retort. SHIZURU-MUNE sighs as the INC pans to a weathered pair of wrestling boots and a very short pair of wrestling briefs once worn by SHIZURU-MUNE as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY by herself inside an empty OOWF Arena. She sits at the timekeeper’s table with her feet propped up and the Air Jordan 1s gifted to MAC tied together and draped across her shoulders*

BRIDGET *staring into into the area where she thinks that the INC is*: “Lexie. Babes. By my count, you’ve had almost two weeks to answer my challenge. Because you kept brushing me off, your lone friend on the roster is on the shelf. Because you kept brushing me off, Harmony had to let you know that we will not be ignored any longer. You see? Mac Flasher tried to hold me back. Keep me down. Brush me off. Ignore me. Use me as a way to save his own skin in Johnstown on one night. So what did I do? *BRIDGET pats the sneaker over her left shoulder* “I took something that he had wanted forever by force. The longer that you remain silent, the more forceful I become in taking something that you have wanted forever, which just happens to be something that I also have wanted for the longest time. Lexie. What I did to Lindsay won’t be your fate. Even though you’ve been too chicken to reply, I respect your work in this company, and I am aware that you won’t be an easy out. It just means that I’ll have to put you through the hell that I have reserved for people like Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon. It means that I will leave you broken in that ring. It means that I will force you to submit your will to me when you realize that nobody in the back will come save you.”

*BRIDGET removes her feet from the table and sits straight up, glaring into the INC’s general direction*

BO’M: “Lexie. Tomorrow night, this will be the last thing you hear before your championship reign ends … That is if you ever reply. If you choose to let your silence speak for you, there will be blood on your hands splattered all throughout New Year’s Evil. Choose wisely.”

*BRIDGET rings the bell before standing up and walking away as the scene fades*

[L!zz~]

(Some time later we fade into the gym at the Compound)

Kylie enters to see Jeff assaulting the punching bag. She watches quietly for a moment before approaching. He glances at her, stopping for a moment. His breath comes heavily, his face red. Kylie reaches out to steady the swinging bag.

"Living in a sibling shadow is sometimes the hardest thing ever. When they are so successful, great at almost everything they do. We are always there for them..as they are for us..when they succeed we cheer them on, do everything we can to help them in their life..careers." She paused, thinking about her words. "When they fall, we are there to pick them back up again. And at times they still treat as if we are children. Telling us what they think is best for us. "

They both quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "For such a long time I resented Beverly, almost hated her. When she lost Alejandro, when our sister...all the stuff with Josie. So much fell on me, and I sometimes felt like she didn't see how I struggled. How I needed her to see me." Clearing her throat, she continued, "and it came to a head.I snapped. I said many many things that should have destroyed us. Almost did. We still butt heads, but we figured things out." Kylie tool a breath as she let go of the bag. "I absolutely understand why you're mad. But instead of flipping out, make him talk to you. Adult to adult. I think it will help both of you. "

Kylie patted his arm. "Anytime you need to talk I'm here. Oh Josie is making you a special dessert. She found it in a Japaense blog." She stepped away so he could resume his work out.

"Thank you" he said as she reached the door. Kylie just nodded with a smile and left the room.

Fade to...

[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – “New Year’s Evil” –  Dec. 30, 2023
LIVE! From Dawsonville, Georgia

• Rookie Royale: Ona Jones vs. Rory Thomas vs. Annie Horvath vs. Joe of The Electric Company vs. Jamie of The Electric Company
With all five rookies inside the ring, the bell sounds with only a few seconds of action before “Crown on the Ground (But Sung by The One-Notes)” plays with all three members of Harmony crashing the ring and easily overtaking Joe and Jamie through use of chairs while Annie jumps on Bridget’s back before getting flapjacked to the canvas. Harmony puts the boots to Annie while Rory heads outside to get plunder. Rory reenters with a chair of his own, but gets it slammed in his face as Harper delivers a big boot to knock silly and through the ropes. Ona, who has remained in a corner tries to duck out of the ring as Harmony spots her, but is brought back into the ring by her hair as Bridget pulls a microphone out if her jacket’s pocket.

Bridget: “Lexie. This could have been avoided. You said nothing and now five innocent rookies suffer. We can do this all night. The Woodsmen. My old anchor Kylie. The Baristas. Definitely Mac and Sandra. Katie and whatever moron Sizzlechest found for her. Whomever from The Black Hand wants to step up. That hick from this hellhole, Awesome Bill, or his running buddy, Justin. Nuke …” *Bridget smiles* “… Your own brother, Alexander Darling …”

“Radioactive” cuts through Bridget’s threats of harm to the entire roster as Lexie Darling appears on the OOWFTron.

The feed shows the ring just as the arena gates opened with fans outside of the arena getting to food and merch as the lights inside go out. They are out for longer than normal when a green and purple spotlight illuminate one of the turnbuckles. Perched on it, we see the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexis Darling and she is holding a microphone. She brings it to her mouth a few times but the words won’t come out. Finally, she holds it to her mouth…

Lexie: *almost whispering* ”This is a weird business. Friendships … real, true friendships are always uncertain because at the end of the day you are fighting for the same goals. The same championships. The same legacy. I’ve turned on friends. I’ve made friends spill blood. I’ve made friends wake up with nightmares of what was done to them. And the truth is, while I’ve hated every second of doing that, I’d do it all again because it’s what this business demands.

“Bridget, you think what you did to Lindsay hurts me…You are damn right it does, but I’ve done far worse to people just as close to me as Lindsay was. Hell, I probably hurt her far worse outside the ring than what you did inside it. You think attacking my friends, the people I hold closest to me will get me in the ring with you sooner rather than later. You are damn right it will.

“But it won’t be the dream you’ve made up in your head. This isn’t the Bridget O’Malley story. It has and always will be the OOWF Story and the headliners of that story for the longest time have been the wrestlers who go by Darling.

“You want your match tonight. Easy enough. It’s done.

“You want your dream. I’m so sorry but that’s a lot harder to come by. Tonight, what you did to Lindsay…what I’ve done to friends…all of that will seem like child’s play.

“Tonight I hurt you in a way that few have been hurt.

“Tonight, I take your dreams and become a living embodiment of the nightmare that exists when you fail to achieve that dream.

“Tonight, I am the one that breaks you.

“Tonight, you will bend your fucking knee to the queen.

“Tonight, you understand this simple fact…I am Alexis Darling, I am the motherfucking OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, and for as long as I live and breathe, you are not and never will be.

“Booyah.”

Bridget grins and roughly throws Ona to the ground before she, Carrie and Harper each walk over the downed youngster and out of the ring.

Bridget: “Thank you, Lexie. You just authorized the end of your own title reign.”

• The Woodsmen vs. TBD
“The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” plays out The Woodsmen as Hunter and Dakota tear through the curtain to a loud ovation, egged on by Hunter. The two men jog to the ring and loosen up by bouncing on the ropes. The Woodsmen’s music is interrupted by silence and then “King of the Clouds” as a very confused and annoyed Jeff Mangyuniku is pushed through the entranceway. Jeff looks around and almost turns around and heads to the back when Assistant GM Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.

Shizuru-Mune: “Jeff. You are likely confused as to why you are out there without a partner with The Woodsmen inside the ring. After months of deliberation about my professional life, it’s become clear that the office will always be here, but time to make memories in the ring with my family might be running out. With that in mind, I have asked General Manager Firewoman to suspend my duties as assistant general manager until I tie up some personal loose ends in the ring. Jeff … Get ready.”

“Party Boy Song” plays as Shizuru-Mune runs out in his suit, but tears it off to reveal his classic ring garb. Jeff and Shizuru-Mune hug as Jeff asks if this is for longer than this match, which Shizuru-Mune affirms by nodding his head. The two head to the ring with The Woodsmen holding the ropes and offer a handshake to their opponents. Jeff and Shizuru-Mune oblige with Mel Creech asking for the bell to be rung. Hunter and Shizuru-Mune open the match with Hunter outgrappling Shizuru-Mune at first, but losing his advantage when Shizuru-Mune escapes a full-nelson attempt by slipping behind Hunter and peppering his hamstrings with low kicks. Dakota tags in and cannot catch the faster Shizuru-Mune, who tags in Jeff as the larger man from each team engages in a strike-off using forearms, chops, punches and in Jeff’s case, a jumping knee strike that dazes Dakota long enough to get 2 before Hunter saves.

Russ: “The Brothers Mangyuniku, finally an established tag team and not just a one-night fever dream. Jeff finally gets his wish!”
Razz: “It’s a touching story, but Sizzlechest hasn’t been active in over four years and Jeff has been out for a number of shows because he couldn’t deal with accidentally injuring Lindsay. Jeff may wish that he never wished for this union if this story turns south.”

Jeff and Shizuru-Mune keep Dakota isolated and work quick tags with strikes and a few tandem moves maintaining the advantage. The sequence finishes with Jeff delivering a spear to a cornered Dakota, just as Shizuru-Mune lands a super kick right under his jaw. Dakota falls forward and barely kicks out at 2.9 as the OOWF Arena crowd is split 50-50 in their support. Dakota battles through Shizuru-Mune’s attempt to keep him on the mat and tags in Hunter, who enters with right hands for Shizuru-Mune and left hands for Jeff, who charged in an effort to stop the tag. Hunter floors Shizuru-Mune with a bolo punch with Creech escorting Jeff back to his corner. Hunter tags in Dakota, who assembles the Pain Cabin in record time. Dakota tossed Shizuru-Mune into the cabin and follows before closing the door. The standard screams and thuds can be heard, but unlike previous uses of the cabin, a submission is not immediate as the brawling goes on for over a minute before Creech kicks down the door to see Dakota out cold and draped over the kitchen table, while Shizuru-Mune enjoys some of Zed’s Mom’s cookies from a jar. Creech tries to lift Dakota’s arm, but it falls, forcing a stoppage.

Your winners (referee stoppage, 9:47), The Brothers Mangyuniku!

Afterward, Hunter tends to Dakota as Jeff and Shizuru-Mune follow. Dakota comes to and stumbles around before steadying himself. The Woodsmen then raise the arms of Jeff and Shizuru-Mune as the feed cuts to an advertisement for a recap show of the best OOWF matches of 2023 with heavy emphasis on Firewoman vs. Chris Jericho.

• Beverly Cambridge and Kylie Mignolio vs. The Battling Baristas
Brynn and Tara are dumped through the entranceway as Harmony appears to have continued its reign of terror over the roster by hammering away at the surprised rookies. Kylie rushes out to even the odds with Beverly following a step behind. Carrie and Harper dispose of Brynn and Tara by shoving them off of the stage and heading to the ring to join Bridget, who is holding a pink jacket, calls off the attack. Bridget pulls out a microphone from the jacket that she’s wearing and looks right at Beverly.

Bridget: “Seeing as I got one of the answers I wanted tonight, I came out to see if I could get the other answer on this show. You see, Beverly, Harmony gets results. Being a member of Harmony has its privileges. It’s not just these stylish pink jackets, it’s a strength in numbers. It’s taking on a system that only looks out for its favorites and bringing that system to its knees. It’s …” *Bridget looks at Kylie* “… Recognizing the deadweight and jettisoning it so that you can fly higher. Beverly, as you may have seen earlier, Harmony hates to be kept waiting. This jacket is yours if you know the right notes. What do you say?”

Beverly looks at the jacket with Kylie jumping in front and questioning why Beverly would even consider Harmony. Beverly hushes Kylie and asks to see the jacket. Bridget hands Beverly the jacket with the prospective Harmony member going so far as to try the jacket on as Kyle is measuring the possible 4-on-1 situation. Beverly motions for the microphone as Bridget happily obliges.

Beverly: “I don’t know what to say. Knowing what Harmony stands for, this is an honor to be invited and to be basically a member without any sort of vetting process. I guess I just need to say a few things to my sister.” *Beverly looks at Kylie* “… Kylie. Are you OK with what I’m about to do?”

Everyone in the ring has a different expectation for Beverly’s next act with Harmony ready to welcome its newest member and Kylie’s expression of exasperation and confusion turning into a sly grin.

Beverly: “In short. No.”

Beverly removes the jacket and tosses it in Bridget’s face before Kylie dropkicks the blinded Bridget from the ring. Carrie and Harper try to attack Beverly and Kylie from behind, but are quickly on the defensive as the sisters make short work of The One-Notes, clearing the ring of all people wearing pink before the sisters share a hug with Josie dashing to the ring to join the moment.

• The One-Notes vs. Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon
With Carrie and Harper already at ringside, “I Get Wet” plays out Mac Flasher, who waits for “Surf Wax America” to note the arrival of Sandra. Mac and Sandra tear down the aisle and start the brawl with The One-Notes as Bridget tries to involver herself, only to get cut off by Kylie, as she and Beverly were still inside. Harmony, seeing that the numbers are not in their favor, opts to head to the back as Davis Hightower has long since given up on starting the match. Mac sees Bridget’s discarded microphone and grabs it, tapping it to make sure that it’s on before speaking.

Mac: “Bridget. You claim that I never gave you attention. Let me be perfectly clear, despite your perceptions leading you opposite reality, you have my full attention. I’ll make this short. Next Saturday Slam, whether you beat Lexie Darling or not later tonight, I’m the next in line for you. In two weeks, I will start this fight and I will end this fight to take back what is mine.”

Mac tosses the microphone aside as Sandra, Beverly and Kylie join him in walking toward the back.

• Katie Bardoor and a mystery partner vs. Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro
“Kingmaker” is greeted by jeers with Pete and Angie getting showered with concessions during their walk to the ring. Pete sneers and Angie mockingly cups her ear as they enter the ring before “War Pigs” plays with Katie charging down the ramp and into the ring with a kendo stick in hand, taking the brawl to both Pete and Angie with Angelo Barros rushing in and almost getting brained before Katie pulls back a swing at the last second. Barros escorts Katie to her corner as “Debaser” by The Pixies plays with a slender female emerging through the curtain.

Razz: “Holy smokes! That’s Meredith Samuels! That’s PORK’s daughter! I knew that she was wrestling in local companies under a mask going by The Beanboozler, but I didn’t know that BEANS was in OOWF! I’ve gone up and down the road with PORK in some of the companies he’s worked for in the midwest, and he’d bring Meredith with him since she was a toddler, always with a bag of jellybeans in hand. All these years later, she’s on the same payroll as PORK.”
Russ: “Says here that she just signed the contract on Friday.”
Razz: “This would explain why PORK was so upset after seeing her name on that sheet in Sizzlechest’s office.”

Without missing a beat, PORK hobbles through the curtain to confront BEANS. While the two discuss matters, Pete and Angie get the jump on Katie inside the ring, prompting PORK to wave BEANS toward the ring. BEANS rushes in and hammers away at Angie while Katie squares up with Pete, cornering him with rights and left before stepping back, screaming and removing her shirt as the crowd sing-songs, “SHIRT OFF, FISTS UP!” BEANS delivers a running knee to Angie, sending her out of the ring, while Pete stops the in-corner beating with a rake to Katie’s eyes before heading to the outside to collect his thoughts. BEANS doesn’t give Pete and Angie much time to think, delivering a springboard plancha to the outside, wiping both Black Hand members out before grabbing Angie and rolling her into the ring, with Barros finally starting the match proper.

Russ: “You can see the uneasy expression on PORK’s face, but his baby girl seems to be one hell of a fighter.”
Razz: “If you think Katie loves a good brawl, just wait until you see BEANS mix it up. She was kicked out of every public school in a three-county radius in central Kansas for fighting or just for having the reputation of being a wrestler’s daughter. Unlike Katie, she can also fly. These two might be the perfect team once BEANS gets a little more time in OOWF rings.”

On cue, BEANS hammers away on Angie, using fists, elbows and a well-placed headbutt before Angie scampers away and tags in Pete. Pete looks over BEANS before telling her to tag Katie in. BEANS flips Pete off and delivers a kick to the groin, felling Pete while Barros teases a disqualification before PORK ambles onto the apron and talks Barros out of it. With Barros in discussion with PORK, Pete takes that moment to clip BEANS’ knee and assumes control with a series of stomps and leg locks. Pete and Angie work quick tags, hammering away at BEANS, who lets her frustration lead to further mistakes and beatings. Katie tries to intervene, but Barros deftly cuts her off each time, opening the door for further cheating from The Black Hand. PORK adds his own protests from the outside, but only receives taunts from Pete and Angie as they lose sight of BEANS for a second, allowing her to escape the corner and almost get to Katie before Pete pulls her into a belly-to-back suplex that BEANS counters before crawling under Pete’s legs and to a tag. Katie wastes no time with fists for anyone who steps to her, unloading a wind-up punch on Pete that slumps him in a neutral corner. Angie charges Katie only to eat a boot. At PORK’s urging, BEANS rushes back in and delivers a flying forearm to Pete to get him onto the apron with Katie giving him a big boot to send him into the barricade.

Angie, still on the mat, tries to get up before Katie drops a knee on her forehead. BEANS climbs the ropes and calls for Katie to move. BEANS hits a 450 splash flush on Angie’s torso, getting 2 as Pete makes a last-second save and then pulls Angie out of the ring with the two now heading up the ramp as Barros makes the count to end their night.

Your winners (count out, 12:04), the team of Katie Bardoor and BEANS.

Afterward, PORK slowly climbs into the ring and reluctantly gives his praise to BEANS’ effort while Katie rubs the newbie’s shoulders. BEANS looks toward Pete and Angie, offering a few profanity laced threats as the feed cuts away to an ad for a reply of Survival Sunday, airing after Saturday Slam.

• Banned From Everywhere vs. Nuke and Alexander Darling
“Insane in the Brain” plays as Awesome Bill and Justin rush out to a massive hometown pop for Awesome Bill and also for Dawsonville’s adopted son, Justin. The two head down to the ring, throwing shot glasses and t-shirts into the crowd before “Hate Breeders” kills the mood, playing out Nuke and his father/manager Adam Jennings. Nuke taunts fans, even going so far as to spit at a fan cosplaying as Ellie May before heading to the ring. As Nuke completes his entrance, “King of the World” plays with Alexander nowhere to be found. After two minutes of music, the theme cuts off as Davis Hightower calls over Nuke and offers a forfeit or a handicap match. Before Nuke can answer, Adam butts in and is clumsily removing his suit to reveal a loosely fitting singlet, insisting that he’ll be Nuke’s partner. Nuke is hesitant, but tells Adam to stay on the apron and not to get involved until he is tagged in.

Hightower accepts this makeshift match, as does Banned from Everywhere as the bell rings. Nuke and Awesome Bill start off with a tie-up, easily won by Awesome Bill. Another tie-up leads to Nuke getting sent through the ropes, in front of Adam, who instinctively tries to catch Nuke on his way out, but all Hightower saw was a tag. Adam looks at Nuke, who is dazed on the outside while Hightower starts to count out Adam, who steps in and eats a boot in the corner. With Adam seeing stars, Awesome Bill pulls him to the center of the ring and then tags Justin, who climbs to the top turnbuckle with Awesome Bill giving him a boost to hit Banned from Space. The count is academic as Nuke is a beat too late to save his father.

Your winners (pinfall, 2:02), Banned from Everywhere!

Afterward, Nuke pulls his lifeless father from the ring as Awesome Bill and Justin have a hoedown with some of the children sitting at ringside.

• OOWF World Tag-Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Legion
Zed squares up with Nigel to start the match, but Nigel immediately slings Zed into a neutral turnbuckle, followed by a clothesline and a running bulldog. Nigel immediately tags in Liam, who quickly outmuscles Zed, but Zed fires up with a series of chops and elbows to Liam, finally dropping him with a European Uppercut and then delivering a drop kick to the back for good measure before Liam has seen enough and tags back in Nigel.

Zed whips Nigel into the champions’ corner, but before Zed can tag in Sean, Sean sneaks in a kidney shot to Nigel with his knee. Both Zed and official Junior Hale offer an admonishing glance before Zed tags in Sean.

Nigel runs the ropes looking for a frog splash, but Sean is able to get his knees up. Sean scrambles to his feet and nearly turns Nigel inside out with a clothesline of his own, and Nigel staggers to the Legion corner to tag in Liam while Sean brings Zed back in.

Liam again looks to overpower Zed, but Zed has a better read on the situation this time, ducking under a clothesline and countering with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Knowing he isn’t going to win a physical battle, Zed picks apart Liam methodically with old-school wrestling prowess, then looks for an armbar submission.

Liam easily works his way out of it, rolling until they are in the ropes and Zed breaks the hold. While they’re in the ropes, Nigel punts Zed. Both Sean and Rev. BRICK~! storm into the ring, trying to draw Hale’s attention to the illegal blow, but Hale intercepts them and urges them to return to their station. This gives Nigel a chance to crack Zed with the baton, which only infuriates Sean and BRICK more. BRICK quickly grabs a chair from ringside looking to even the score, and just as quickly Hale ejects him from ringside.

Liam tags in Nigel while pulling Zed up to his feet, with Zed busted open by the baton. Nigel storms into the ring, but Zed slows him with a drop toe hold and quickly tags in Sean to get a breather. It’s at this point that Zed realizes Rev. BRICK~! has been shown the door, and he lets out an audible “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Nevertheless, a very angry Sean is taking out his frustration on Nigel and a car crash begins to unfold. Sean staggers Nigel with a suplex, and Liam runs into the ring to slow him down. Now it’s Junior turn to stare down Legion, but Liam is hardly impressed by Hale’s stature and meets his stare.

While Liam and Junior jaw at each other, Sean hits the ropes, clotheslining Liam to send him tumbling back out of the ring as Junior narrowly ducks out of the way. Nigel tries to roll up Sean, but Sean powers through it and hooks onto Nigel for a German Suplex, then tags in a bloody Zed who goes to the top rope … THE ANSWER! One, two, THREE!

Your winners (14:34; pinfall) and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Sean Franklin and Zed

The celebration is short-lived as Liam storms into the ring with baton in hand, but Sean meets him halfway with a chair. Zed gets between them, belts over his shoulders, and guides Sean out of the ring while giving Legion the double bird.

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Bridget O’Malley
Big-match introductions from Mike Elevenbee as Bridget, coldly glares at the OOWF World Championship as Mel Creech shows it to her. Lexie stretches on the ropes before Creech calls the two to the center of the ring with Bridget not even looking at Lexie before the bell rings. Lexie tries a takedown, but gets stuffed as Bridget then tries to pull Lexie into a crossfire that she easily wiggles free from. Bridget meets Lexie as she stands with a forearm shiver and stomps away before Lexie is able catch a stomp and hit a double-leg takedown and slug away on the mat until Creech breaks up the rolling brawl. Lexie attempts a flying forearm, but is swatted away and almost stomped again until she rolls out. Bridget tries to get Lexie back into the ring, but is yanked to the outside and toss into the barricade before Lexie heads into the ring and delivers a Space Flying Tiger Drop, surprising even herself as she soaks in the cheers while Bridget is in a heap on the outside mats. Back inside, Lexie delivers a series of kicks to a kneeling Bridget, but gets a cutter attempt blocked as Bridget hits backbreaker for 2. Bridget then drops both knees across Lexie’s sternum and rains punches down on her.

Russ: “There’s not going to much in the technical sense in this match. These two women don’t necessarily hate each other, but there’s 10 pounds of gold at the timekeeper’s table that one woman wants and that the other woman will fight to the death to keep.”
Razz: “And I hate to say it, though we haven’t seen The One-Notes, they give her the edge if this breaks down to who has allies. Lexie’s closest ally is out of action and Lindsay might be the only one Lexie will let herself count on.”
Russ: “Harmony’s made a few enemies, surely that might play to Lexie’s advantage.”

Lexie gets to her feet and instigates a chop battle that Bridget wins before cornering Lexie and delivering a booming chop before stomping the fallen Lexie in the corner. Lexie fires up and unleashes forearms and elbows before Bridget sweeps Lexie’s leg from underneath her. Lexie pops up again and Bridget shoves her away, only to eat a dropkick and then a running double stomp. A running Sliced Bread No. 2 is blocked by Bridget, but Lexie keeps coming with a springboard missile dropkick and a Bitch Killer, but Bridget’s leg is under the rope before the count. Lexie argues ankle location with Creech, allowing Bridget to pop up, but into a super kick, followed by a penalty kick and then a shooting star press that misses. Lexie grabs her stomach and rolls to the outside, where Bridget follows.

As the two fight on the outside, Lexie narrowly avoids an apron powerbomb, hitting a standing meteora onto Bridget as both fall to the mats on the outside. Lexie pops up and delivers a running somersault dive that crashes Bridget into the announce table. As Creech gets his count to 7, Lexie rolls in and rolls back out to break the count. Bridget groggily stands up before stumbling into the table. Lexie rudely guides back into the ring, but is held on the ankle by an unknown person under the ring. Lexie stomps the hand before heading back into the ring, straight into a crescent kick by Bridget. The challenger then works various head-and-neck submissions, slipping into a rear-naked choke that Lexie works into a pinning combination that gets 2 before Bridget releases and escapes. Lexie has little time to catch her air as Bridget nails the champ with a running knee and follows with an O’Mallet. Lexie falls through the ropes and to the outside while Bridget intervenes on any attempt by Creech to start a count. While Creech is occupied with Bridget, Carrie and Harper emerge from underneath the ring and waylay Lexie with a series of tandem moves and strikes, conveniently in Creech’s blind spot. Satisfied with their work, they roll a nearly-lifeless Lexie back into the ring, but then are cleared out by an unknown person in a very familiar black hooded sweatshirt, swinging a chair. The One-Notes head to higher ground, where they are met by Beverly Cambridge and Kylie Mignolio as the suspected Alexander Darling slips away through the crowd. Meanwhile, in the ring, Bridget tries to lock in Tap or Nap on Lexie, but the champ fights to the ropes. Bridget chops Lexie on the neck and tries again, only for Lexie to stomp Bridget’s feet to escape. With Bridget stumbling back, Lexie charges with a Superman punch only for Bridget to pull Creech in the way. Creech is instantly out as Lexie tries to revive the official. Bridget heads to her corner and grabs one of the Air Jordan 1s that she took from Mac Flasher, swinging the shoe by its laces and connecting right on Lexie’s temple, dropping her immediately. Bridget covers, but Creech is only starting to stir, causing the frustrated challenger to slap the mat three times for the visual pin. Creech stands and stumbles out of the ring, bumping himself unconscious as he doinked his head off the apron on the way out.

Bridget stands up to check on the downed official before looking to the back and waving for another official. Nobody answers the call, but Sandra Fallon runs in through the crowd and hits an unsuspecting Bridget with a Maliblu Thunder Bomb and places Lexie’s arm on top of Bridget, just as Gavin ‘Junior’ Hale heads down the ramp and counts 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 15:38), and STILL …

Creech cuts off Elevenbee’s announcement before waving off the decision rendered by Hale as the two officials discuss. Creech plays the seniority card as he leans through the ropes to pass along the official decision.

Your winner (disqualification, 15:38) due to interference by Sandra Fallon, Bridget O’Malley. As a reminder to fans, a title cannot change hands via disqualification meaning that Lexie Darling is STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion.

Bridget is apoplectic and starts shoving both officials before Lexie decks her with a right hand. Carrie and Harper run to the ring to pull Bridget away as Sandra and the recently emerged Mac Flasher stand behind Lexie. Harmony makes sure to collect Mac’s missing sneakers while Lexie turns to see the pair behind her, getting into a fighting stance before Sandra diffuses the situation, leading Lexie to show her championship to the fans in the arena and especially Bridget as Mac and Sandra have the champion's back, at least for this moment.

[Jack Quinn]

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID MESSAGE FROM THE BLACK HAND

<<we cut to a black and white shot of the OOWF arena on Christmas Eve, obviously it's been altered since it's snowing. In the background we hear "I'll Be Home For Christmas" softly playing in the background. We cut to the Black Hand offices and see Liam and Nigel sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace while Angie sits in a rocking chair reading The Night Before Christmas. The camera pans around and we see Pete sitting behind a desk wearing a Santa hat, he takes a drink of eggnog, then picks up a remote and hits play. The screen comes to life

......through the magic of OOWF Arena security cameras, we see Katie walking through the hallways, most of the crew and talent have gone home, or are out. As Katie passes a large window she looks out and sees many around the tree, some singing carols, while others join the Woodsmen in their annual memorial of all the fallen pine trees.

Katie sighs heavily and walks on, she looks in the gym, it's empty. She walks into the Sub Shoppe, it is closed for the night. She wanders more and finally comes to Shokan Dojo. She pushes the door open, and it is empty. Katie looks around, she pours herself a drink and looks at all the pictures, then sits heavily in the chair. She looks up and a notices something. It's a new framed picture of Jack with Katie and PORK, the day they agreed to join Shokan Dojo. It's the only picture you can see when sitting behind the desk. Katie gives a half hearted smile, then checks her phone and sees no new messages. She sighs harder and puts her head down on the desk, the music comes to an end, and we can hear soft sobs from Katie.

The camera cuts back to the Black Hand Offices where Quick sits with a plate of gingerbread men. He picks up the first one, it is decorated to have long red hair and Trust Me written on it. Quick smirks and breaks it in half. Then he picks up a second one, a much bigger one, and breaks the leg off of it and tosses it aside. Quick wipes the crumbs from his hand, sets the plate aside and folds his hands and looks straight into the camera.>

Katie, I want to make this very clear. I am a taker. I see something I want, and I take it. When someone gets in my way, I will take whatever I have to take from them for them to become a non-issue to me. Your mentor got in my way and I took his head and turned it into mush, to the point where he will never wrestle again. Your tag partner got in my way, and I took his knee and destroyed it, to the point where he will never wrestle again. I have taken everything from you. You can't go home, the second you do, you KNOW what will happen. You have no family here. No friends. No one wants you here Katie. You are a pox on this company. I could have broken you physically at any point, but I'll be honest, watching you fall apart mentally and emotionally is the best Christmas gift I've ever given myself.

Soon enough Katie, the holidays will be over, people will go on with their lives, but you will always know that they all abandoned you. Your friends, your hometown, your family, your mentor, your tag partner...........just walk away Katie, save yourself further embarrassment. Just leave the title before you tuck your tail and run like a coward.

<Quick laughs and we fade>