[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – March 9, 2024
LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia

• Non-title match: Bridget O’Malley vs. PORK

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge

• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: Legion (c) vs. Sandra Fallon and TBD

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio

• The Brothers Mangyuniku and Meredith “Beans” Samuels vs. Banned From Everywhere and Sean Franklin

• Zed vs. Pete Quick

• Lexie Darling vs. Carrie

• Alexander Darling vs. Harper

• Annie Horvath vs. Angie Delpetro

Card subject to week-long sinus infections and lots of napping

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find darkness until a match, held by a black-gloved hand, illuminates the room and eventually a cigar in the mouth of PETE QUICK. The lighting in the room is still dim, but LEGION can be spotted behind PETE while ANGIE DELPETRO disposes of the now extinguished match*

PETE: “I’ve read the comments. ‘Pete Quick’s issue is with Jack Quinn, why would he attack Mac Flasher with those brutal punches?’ ‘Why would he be so relentless in his attack that Mac would be coughing up blood? Mac is the opposite of Moosehead Jack! Mac is innocent!’

“Wrong. It was Mac Flasher that brought back Moosehead Jack when he shot off his mouth on that podcast. We were in a world that was free from ever knowing Jack Quinn again, then Mac had to think only about himself and call for OOWF to return. Mac had stories he wanted to tell. Mac convinced just enough of what was left of this company to come back and fuel his dream. Ol’ Jackie came along for the ride because he had to show the world that he was a changed man. That the Moosehead Jack that terrorized OOWF for 15 years was an afterthought. If not for The Black Hand, Jackie surely would have relapsed to the sick, depraved individual that he spent so much energy telling us that he wasn’t.

“Jackie’s gone. That was made clear in Pittsburgh as we got to Mac. The same fans that worshipped Mac Flasher watched in horror as The Black Hand conducted its business. An arena filled with yokels watching with mouths agape as their hero from a couple hours down the road was crumbled. We were satisfied with our work. Nigel, Liam and I had brutalized Mac and put the fear of the gods into his girlfriend. We were about to leave without incident. Then …

“WE WANT JACK!”

*PETE punches the table*

PQ: “WE WANT JACK!”

*PETE punches the table*

PQ: “WE WANT JACK!”

*PETE punches the table*

PQ: “WE WANT JACK!”

*PETE punches the table repeatedly until it shatters*

PQ: “Jackie, wherever he is, is the smartest man alive. I'll give him that. He hasn’t shown his face since we handed him his head at Imperial Onslaught. Jackie wasn’t showing up in Pittsburgh. Jackie won’t be in Atlanta. Jackie won’t be wherever this godforsaken company limps to every other week. He knows that he'll never win this fight without exposing himself as the fraud I've said he was since arriving in OOWF. But … Others will be punished for the mere thought of your existence, Jackie. Just like your blood is on Mac’s hands because his little wish led to your life becoming a living hell via The Black Hand, his blood … That same blood that he coughed up is on your hands because when the good-for-nothing fans needed someone to save their hero, they called for you. They wanted a miracle. The Black Hand does not grant miracles, The Black Hand crushes dreams. Mac and whatever internal injuries he suffered are all the evidence we need to present.”

*PETE takes a long puff from his cigar*

PQ: “As The Black Hand chokes the life out of OOWF, heed this advice …”

*PETE ashes out his cigar in an ashtray taken from the former Destroyitarium*

PQ: “Mac … Stay down. Jackie … Stay away.”

*PETE grins as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – March 9, 2024
LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia

• Annie Horvath vs. Angie Delpetro
Highly spirited, hot little opening match that served to put a bit of shine back on Annie with a number of near-falls off top-rope maneuvers, but Angie survives after Annie crashes and burns on a moonsault attempt. Angie sinks in a rear choke with a hand smother to get the tapout, though she leaves the hold on until Annie goes limp. Angie then tries to boot down the prone rookie before Katie Bardoor runs in to chase off the matriarch of The Black Hand.

Result: Angie Delpetro d. Annie Horvath, submission (7:43).

•  Lexie Darling vs. Carrie
Carrie spends roughly five minutes ducking out of any attempt at contact by Lexie to open, enraging the former champ and forcing her into a few uncharacteristic mistakes that allows Carrie to control and showcase her amateur wrestling skills. Lexie quickly centers her emotions before a running forearm strike leads to a leg lariat and then a Bitch Killer as this was never truly in doubt once Lexie got on her front foot.

Result: Lexie Darling d. Carrie, pinfall (6:31).

•  Zed vs. Pete Quick
Zed and The Rev. BRICK~! don’t seem to be on the same page as they enter with Zed shaking off BRICK~!’s offer of brass knuckles before dropping the object in the aisle. In a funny bit, Pete scoops up the discarded weaponry during his entrance and pockets it in front of the whole world, including referee Ben Coleman, who confiscates it upon entry. Zed fights with an early fire rarely seen from him, but is cut down with underhanded tactics and then overpowered by Pete’s plodding offense. Zed makes an extended comeback, getting multiple near-falls and showing a superiority in skill until Pete hits a low blow. As Pete shakes something into his gloved hand to set up a possible knockout blow, Mac Flasher sprints in with a kendo stick in hand and enough rib tape to make Dallas Page say, ‘Ease up on the tape, bro.’ Mac gets a few solid whacks on Pete as Coleman tosses the match out, but almost seems OK with the attack. Zed is initially miffed at Mac for costing him the match, but is briefed by BRICK~! on what was about to happen before Mac evened the score from a different fight.

Result: Pete Quick d. Zed, disqualification (10:17).

• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: Legion (c) vs. Sandra Fallon and TBD
The champs enter first to add to the suspense of the mystery partner until Sandra walks out alone. As she’s about halfway down the aisle, a masked gorilla, or at least a human in a masked-gorilla costume races down and dazzles the crowd with a pair of monkey flips on the champs before gorilla-pressing Liam onto Nigel on the outside. Sandra, just as confused as everyone else watches on before heading to her corner and grabbing the tag rope. The mystery partner, anointed ‘Lucharilla’ by fan chants flusters the champs as they protest the possibility that Mac Flasher is under the suit. Mac, still carrying the kendo stick from earlier, dispels that theory when he strolls out to offer support to Sandra and her mystery tag partner. Lucharilla gets in a spot of trouble when a top-rope splash gets nothing but canvas. Legion works over the mystery opponent, trying to take off the lucha mask at least before Sandra runs in to make a few saves, and subsequently get walked back to her corner. Lucharilla fights their way to a tag with Sandra running in with right hands for anyone linked to The Black Hand. She connects on a Maliblu Thunder Bomb on Liam that gets 2.9 before Nigel makes a desperation save. That draws in Lucharilla as Davis Hightower loses control of matters. Stereo monkey flips, as Sandra is picking up what Lucharilla is about leads to Nigel and Liam sandwiching Hightower in the center of the ring. Pete Quick then darts in, only to eat more kendo stick from Mac. In the chaos, Liam – with his own loaded glove –  clocks Sandra and falls on top of her, securing a cheap victory for the champs after Hightower’s groggy count. Afterward, Pete is saved by OOWF officials after Mac’s kendo stick beatdown led to an attempted Flash Drive on top of the ramp.

Result: Legion d. Sandra Fallon and Lucharilla, pinfall (11:56).

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio
Nuke’s frustrations continue as he cannot string together much of an attack against the much quicker Kylie, who just sticks and ducks to add to Nuke’s woes. Nuke, working a character arc where his confidence is shaken despite his father’s encouragement, misses a corner splash allowing Kylie to get a rollup pin, despite what appears to be Nuke’s right arm under the ropes. Nuke’s visible anger leads to a tantrum where ringside furniture is not safe, causing Adam Jennings to head for higher ground as if he’s seen this side of his son before, until a wild chair swing hits the bottom rope and bounces back to hit him flush in the face.

Result: Kylie Mignolio d. Nuke, pinfall (3:19).

• Alexander Darling vs. Harper
Carrie jumps Alexander during his entrance as Harper – already in the ring – runs down to join. Alexander seems to be holding his own until Harper jabs him in the throat with what appears to be a conductor’s baton. The beatdown doesn’t get too far, however, with Lexie warding off The One-Notes. Alexander, though, wants no part of Lexie’s help in warding off tacks or getting him to a standing base as he promptly shoves past her and heads to the back. The One-Notes announce that they want The Darling Twins in two weeks, arguing that they will run rings around the disjointed siblings. Lexie brashly accepts and then immediately appears uneasy about the idea with Alexander nowhere to be seen. 

Result: Alexander Darling vs. Harper, no contest (0:00).

•  The Brothers Mangyuniku and Meredith “Beans” Samuels vs. Banned From Everywhere and Sean Franklin
The two stories in this one are Sean’s continued temptations into tapping into his heel tendencies, which are encouraged by The Rev. BRICK~!, and the developing tensions – competitive and romantic – between Beans and Jeff. Sean is none too happy with Awesome Bill and Justin competing to have a “good old time” while Jeff and Beans are having a can-you-top-this sequence, using poor Justin as the unfortunate victim of the string of attacks ranging from throws and suplexes to big-time strikes. Shizuru-Mune finally gets in the ring and unloads a Dream Maker on Justin, who isn’t legal after a Sean blind tag. Sean rolls up the unsuspecting Shizuru-Mune and gets a heaping helping of trunks to secure the flash win. Awesome Bill, who saw the whole thing, questions Sean and gets a wanking motion from the rookie as he walks off with Rev. BRICK~! in celebration.

Result: Banned From Everywhere and Sean Franklin d. The Brothers Mangyuniku and Meredith “Beans” Samuels, pinfall (9:17).

• Non-title match: Bridget O’Malley vs. PORK
PORK, with every fan in the building seemingly on his side, barrels through the champion with aplomb, using a series of power moves to batter Bridget and send a message to any members of the championship committee watching as he motions his hands around his waist – though the current title might need to gain extensions to fit around PORK’s waist. Bridget gets control after raking PORK’s eyes while upside-down in an delayed vertical suplex. Bridget works a series of hamstring kicks and then focuses on PORK’s injured knee as if she actually owns it and PORK is behind on rental fees. Bridget, outweighed by 200 pounds, can’t get PORK off the ground for a stretch muffler, but improvises by draping his knee over the bottom rope before torquing his ankle from the outside through multiple counts of 4 by Mel Creech. With the crowd egging him on, PORK gets to a standing base and regains control after a forearm uppercut and a running powerslam. His knee gives out on a Vader Bomb attempt, allowing Bridget to crank on a kneebar in the middle of the ring that PORK cannot escape with only one good leg. PORK, despite a large amount of encouraging cheers. eventually succumbs to the pain and passes out to deflate the crowd. Afterward, Bridget grabs a mic to pound home the fact that she will not defend the title unless the first defense is against Firewoman while reminding everyone that the clock is ticking to her April 6 deadline for the current OOWF GM.  

Result: Bridget O’Malley d. PORK, referee stoppage (16:06).

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge
Katie wants a brawl to start and Beverly is surprisingly game, holding her own until the champ hits a heavy headbutt that draws groans from the crowd after the cracking thud. Katie controls with a deliberate attack that sees Beverly a beat behind in covering her face or torso, depending on where the strike is headed. Beverly does catch a spinning elbow and pull Katie into a Le Bell Lock try that is broken quickly thanks to the proximity to the ropes. With Katie taking a powder, Beverly teases a plancha before hitting a sliding dropkick that pushes Katie into the barricade. The two then brawl around the ring, using various plunder, or at least trying to with no actual contact. Beverly, aware of the count, rolls in at 9 as Katie is just a step too slow. The result and lack of title change are announced as Angie Delpetro nails Katie from behind with a collapsable baton and starts a ringside beatdown with the discarded plunder at her disposal. The beating continues until Beverly confronts Angie, who swings wildly with a chair and gets it superkicked back into her face. Beverly chases Angie off before checking on Katie, who is blinded by a cut bleeding into her eyes leading to Katie delivering a knockout punch to Beverly until she realizes that her target wasn’t Angie. The rarely remorseful Katie apologizes as Beverly comes to, but has to ward off an angry Beverly with the feed cutting out as security runs down to separate the two.

Result: Beverly Cambridge d. Katie Bardoor, count out (8:48).