[Attitude Adjuster]

So my wife is out with her Mom today. I geta call from her about 2 p.m., and the first thing she says is "I know I did something stupid but try not to be mad at me." Yeah those kind of statements are always reassuring.

Turns out when she got to her Mom's she left the truck unlocked, with her purse on the floor of the passenger side. Sure enough, some kid runs by, sees the truck unlocked and steals her purse. She's just gone to the bank and had $200 on her. Her reasoning was "I was only going to be gone a minute."

So she gets home and I'm trying not to be mad, trying not to ask "Did you think that you just went to the bank and the purse might be important to you?" So I'm quiet. And I'm trying not to say anything. And she says, "Can't you be a little compassionate about this?"

Wha????? SHE JUST LEFT $200 IN AN OPEN VEHICLE!!!!! NO ONE DOES THAT ANYMORE!!!!!! It doesn't matter that it was in front of her Mom's house, because her Mom lives in Citrus Freaking Heights, a suburb of Sacramento known for its lack of stellar and wholesome community neighbors.

She's already asking me to not be mad. Now she wants me to be compassionate, too? Am I wrong in thinking that's a bit too much to ask for such a ridiculously stupid thing to do???

[Lucky]

Its a stupid thing to do but I don't think its "ridiculously" stupid. Obviously leaving your purse/wallet/whatever in an open car and visible is a mistake. But the "I was only going to be gone a minute" excuse isn't totally unreasonable. Even in the worst neighborhood you have to have the shitty luck to have a thief walk by your car, look in it, look down to the right floor to sign the purse, and then deem it worthwhile to check if the door is open and risk setting off an alarm or being seen. Obviously it happens and did and the way to avoid it is pretty easy and she seems to recognize her fuckup. But yeah, its not like the dumbest thing you can do. Personally I'd be more bothered that she left the car unlocked since you're lucky all you got was some petty thief and not someone who knows how to quickly hotwire a car. $200 isn't THAT much.

I guess I'm compassionate because I realize how many times I've done something really stupid like that, many of those times realizing how stupid it was when I did it. But somehow laziness or arrogance overtakes you. And I've been burned once or twice. So I guess I can just flash back to one of those times and slap my forehead before I cast judgment.

I certainly don't think you're wrong to be annoyed and if you feign compassion when you don't have it you should only do so for the reasons men always play along with what women want even if it makes no sense to them. But I think this is more one of those things I'd laugh at and mock her for because she's probably beating herself up a lot more that she should for $200. Or at least she is if she's anything like me and can't believe she did something that stupid (that she probably even said before hand something like "What are the odds it gets swiped in 5 minutes?").


EDIT: Note, I'm not downplaying the hit $200 is. I basically live hand to mouth myself and that's not a small sum to me. Its 2 or 3 bills not getting paid, a couple of weeks of eating out, that car part or appliance you wanted/needed, whatever. Its just one of those numbers that is more of an inconvenience than a real setback to your finances most of the time.

[Mikey]

Your wife wants compassion because that's how women are. I mean, you DID marry her.

Sucker.

Love,
Son

[The Jewish Cunthead]

AA - if you left your wallet in an unlocked vehicle and someone snaked it, would you want compassion from your wife? I wouldn't. Leaving your purse or wallet in open view is one thing (I've had my windows smashed a few times but never lost anything) but doing it in an unlocked vehicle is something else. You're just inviting someone to take it. It's why I always lock my door, no matter where I go.

Also it's never "just a minute" when the wife is with her mom...

[Attitude Adjuster]

Solly, you hit on exactly what I've said. If a window was smashes, that's one thing. That's bad luck. But she damn near invited someone to steal from her. And yeah, it's never "just a minute" with her...

Lucky, it's not like we're living hand-to-mouth, but that was her entire "free to do with whatever I want" money for the month. And the fact she'd just got it from the bank and then "didn't realize" she'd left her purse in the truck just kills me. And yes, when she first called me I figured she'd either been in an accident (again) or, as she continued to tell the story, someone stole the truck. So in the grand scheme of things, we're lucky. Which to me in just another reason not to be compassionate.

[Lucky]

Yeah, like I said its probably that I'm a bit of a moron myself that I relate. But I don't think you SHOULD be jumping to comfort her because she'd been through some tough episode. To empathize with her you'd have to put yourself in the position of doing something really stupid that you knew ahead of time was really stupid. And the only real responses to stupidity are anger or laughter.

As Mike said, if you DO show compassion its because that's our "duty" as the dudes who choose to be with them.

[ALL CAPS]

Women, in general, ultimately don't care about the $200 or even doing something stupid. They care about emotional reassurance. When something like this happens they just want to hear and know that they're emotionally justified in feeling the way they do. That's is. I'm sure she realizes it was stupid and misses the money, but her primary concern is probably her emotional state. Always seems to work that way. So once you reassure her that you're not mad and that you empathize, then you can start discussing what she might do next time to avoid such an event. If at that point she still gets irritated with you, divorce her.

[Eric O'Mac]

Divorce is ALWAYS the correct answer, no matter who is right. God Bless America!