[Courtney]

Mikey requested I share this story so here it is (copied and pasted word for word):

I'm in my new place at Gables. I've been here for four days and I have three roomies: Amanda, Amanda and Gena. Now, the Amandas are great. Love you guys bunches. But Gena...oh my god, I'm about ready to shoot her.

First things first, she doesn't speak. At all. She never says hi and she never even really looks at me. Maybe it's because she's all religious and she has the insane knowledge that I'm the antiChrist or something. I don't know how she'd know that about me considering SHE DOESN'T FUCKING SPEAK!!!

Of course, she does speak. But only when she's on the phone in her room. And then she speaks ALL THE TIME AND VERY LOUDLY!!! I can hear her entire fucking conversation and let me tell you...if she's supposed to be so religious, she certainly says the word "fuck" a lot. Stupid Fake Christian!

And we have to share a bathroom which is all kinds of disastrous. So, yesterday, you know, I'm being nice and healthy and I put Drano in the shower. Considering when I took my first shower in it and the water immediately began rising even though the drain was open, it needed it. Badly. So I put it in and even wrote Gena a note telling her, "Hey, I did this. Give it an hour and everything will be obie-kabey." Ok, it didn't exactly say that, but you get my gist. Anyways, I went back in an hour later, rinsed with hot water and what do you fuckin' know? The water went down smooth as silk. So, what do I get for being nice and health-conscious and generous?

I get off work at 6 AM this morning, come home and there's no toilet paper in the fucking bathroom. She had over half of a 24-roll pack in there yesterday and now...it fuckin' vanished. She actually put the toilet paper in her room since she knows that I won't go in there. Oh My God!!! I was planning on buying a pack when the original pack got low, but now...fuck that! She's going to be a greedy little bitch over something so fucking trivial as Goddamned Toilet Fucking Paper!!! Fuck her. Now, I had to go to the fucking store, get my own toilet paper, come back and use the bathroom. And I had to go pee the entire time. This is such bullshit. And yes...I know that I shouldn't be this upset, but goddammit, it's toilet paper.

So, when I got home, I decided I was going to be as loud as possible. My door creaks like a motherfucker and so I was opening and closing that bitch as many times as possible. And then I put my laundry in the washing machine and started it and let me tell you, you can hear that sucker in our rooms. And then I looked over at the sink. And then dishes I used to cook last night were on the side of the sink. Not IN the sink where I left them. Because oh fucking no, we cannot let MY dishes touch HER dishes. She's a Stupid Fucking Cunt and I hope she falls in the fucking shower that she's taking right now. That's right. I hope she falls and breaks her fucking right ankle. Then, when she's in agonizing pain, I hope she suddenly has to go pee and has to crawl the ten feet to her room to get toilet paper which I'm sure would be quite horrible with a broken ankle. Then, she'll have to roll the ten feet back and that's when she'll find the door locked. Why? Because when she was making the terrible journey to her room. That's when I'll need to brush my teeth and put lotion on and more deodorant and pluck my eyebrows and put full makeup on and take it off and cleanse, tone and moisturize my face and then take my fucking hour long shower. Then, when she's passed out from the pain, I'll come out and step on her fucking ankle to jolt her back to life. Then, when she looks up at me in searing agony, I'll bend over, take the toilet paper roll in her hand, smile, wish her a good day and go back in the fucking bathroom. Fucking Cunt!!!!

[bdbdbd]

You skirted the issue; are you the Anti-Christ?

[Lucky]

Is this your first roommate situation? Because toilet paper is some serious shit, man. I mean, its great if you're all friends and work out a reliable and simple "I'll buy a pack when that one gets low" but even with friends that shit never works out. Some one's always lazy or cheap or forgetful. And someone's always ultra paranoid or responsible. "You didn't buy new toilet paper, it was your turn." "There was a roll left. I was going to grab some today or tomorrow." "Well I already bought it. That's not enough." And then if you have 3 or more its going to lead to 1 person stiffing out unless you stay on some kind of system and schedule complete with house meetings to address these things.

Toilet paper, washing dishes, taking out the trash, brita filters, milk, eggs. This shit is the little shit that ends up making male roommates punch each other out and female roommates secretly hate each other behind their back. If I had to bet money in about 6 months time you'll secretly hate one of those Amandas. I mean, you won't hate her. You love her, she's a sweet girl, you hang out, its cool. But that bitch always eats your peanut butter! She never fucking buys her own! You ask her if she wants to split a jar but she says no and then eats it anyway! And when your order take out she's always stiffing on the tip! And you're always sharing glasses of your wine but she never has any of her own to share! BITCH!

I had a roommate who locked his Brita in the closet because we hadn't yet bought him new filters. We remain great friends because I'm the kinda guy who lets that stuff roll off my back, but still. He also locked his dishes in his closet. But in fairness, I totally laughed at when he put up a dish washing schedule on the wall and I am pretty lazy and forgetful with chores.

I think he may have locked his toilet paper in the closet but we used to steal that shit from other places. Toilet Paper, man. To college kids just out of school 20 somethings TP is like what cigarettes are to prisoners.



Did she actually separate your dirty dishes from her dirty dishes or were yours off on the side and hers were no where to be found? Because if its the latter then its just a case of "I was washing my dishes but I'm not watching yours so let me get them out of my way." If its the other thing that's a little odd. I mean, I understand that too from the manic roommate idea of "These are mine! Those are yours! They must not be confused nor should the chores be merged!" I'm much more of a socialist sort of roommate myself but stick 3 or more people somewhat randomly together and some one is going to be that roommate.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Have you tried to talk to her to work out your differences?

[Lucky]

There is that too. Christian girl with a bit of a compulsive streak could be kinda shy. You're clearly a dynamic personality and those can be hard to take. One of my closest friends in the world started out hating me and me him because he was a force of nature and I was shy. I found it off putting and rude and he found me uptight and rude. We got drunk together and we were cool.

And your draino story could read another way. I mean, picture a scenario where Gena goes into the bathroom to take a shower and sees a note saying she has to wait an hour because you poured draino down the drain. Sure you were doing a nice thing, but at the moment she just wants/needs to take a shower and a little stopped up water would have been tolerable. Courtney couldn't have waited until a time when she knew no one would be home for an hour or when we were all around and asked us if anyone planned to shower in the next hour? No, she just takes HER shower and then does it because everyone will have deal now that she's had her shower! BITCH! Well she how she likes it when she has to use the toilet and finds out there's a wait for that because she has to get her own damn toilet paper! FUCK!

I've always loved hearing my friends' problems with roommates because I've always had such an easy going nature about them that the only times I was really bothered was when they smelled, were insane, or had the mob threaten me.

Or she could just be a bitch. Very possible.

[Fire-Babe]

The only thing missing is the ankle lock you put on her broken ankle after you get done with your hour long shower, getting her to relent and share the toilet paper like a decent human being.

[Courtney]

Oct 10, 2008 7:34:48 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

You skirted the issue; are you the Anti-Christ?

Hmm, I have been told that before.

[Courtney]

Lucky: You make very good points. And I'm not that type of person. I clean my shit. And yes, she doesn't know that yet, but still...and yes, she separated our dishes but didn't wash hers. And it's only she and I sharing this bathroom. She had taken a shower earlier that day and most normal people don't take two showers in a day. I wrote the note as courtesy.

You're clearly a dynamic personality

That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me in days.

And Mkid: remember, she doesn't speak. And she stays in her room all the time. I'm not knocking on her flippin' door to talk about toilet paper.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Silly Court, you're totally misusing the Draino. You need to go all "Heathers" on her and put it in her drink.

[Lucky]

Oh, I'm not saying you did anything wrong with the draino/note thing. I'm just saying, its one of those things. Not talking to her you don't know what that day was like. Shit happens. Some people DO like 2 showers. Maybe she got home from the gym. Maybe she rode the bus and felt dirty. Maybe she was dirty from some horrible story. Maybe she just wanted to relax. Maybe she's obsessive compulsive and takes like 5 showers a day. Its just one of those things. You could know your boyfriend inside and out and know his habits and schedule. But you don't know how 1 individual day is going to hit him and what thing he might down outside his routine. But if something like that happened with you two you know each other so there'd be slack given, people wouldn't assume the worst, and you'd talk and he'd tell you why he needed to take a shower and you'd explain why you didn't think he would. And every one would be good. But with a situation like this with a new roommate you've lived with for less than a week who you don't even speak to? No one knows anyone, no one knows any routines, she doesn't know you're actually a nice person, you don't know she just really likes a shower at a certain part of the day, neither of you spoke about it, and its all just passive notes and messages being left while everyone draws their own conclusions.

Its exactly how all these roommate situations work when you get thrown with someone you don't know and don't necessarily click with. Friends assume the best of each other and give each other passes. They assume you'll buy some toilet paper and that you weren't being inconsiderate by making the shower unusable for an hour. Strangers who share space with people they don't talk to just curse about each other to their friends and acquaintances.

Trust me, I'm not saying you've done ANYTHING wrong. You've reacted very normally and the toilet paper and dishes DO come off as bitch moves as you describe them. I'm just saying, she's probably doing exactly what you are about the roommate who messed up the shower, uses her toilet paper, and doesn't clean her dishes (and probably some little habit of yours you don't even realize that happens to bug her like the loud talking on the phone you mentioned about her). And you're both just insulating yourselves from each other and letting stuff fester and resentments grow. And toilet paper becomes an issue when its possible this conversation could have taken place.

"Hey, I just wanted to thank you for buying that toilet paper. If you want I'll reimburse you for half of it or I'll just buy another pack of it when it starts to wear down."
"That sounds good. We can just alternate so no one feels cheated. Just do me a favor and don't let it go down too far. I'd hate to see 2 rolls in the morning and come home to 0 and be screwed. I'd end up buying a new pack myself."
"Oh no, totally. I'm like that too and if something like that happens we'll just owe each other or something. Just tell me if it does."

And again, she could be a total bitch. You two could be oil and water. She could really be a selfish TP hog who thinks you're the anti-Christ. But opening up the lines of communication can avoid a lot of misunderstandings and unnecessary resentment and anger if you both happen to be reasonable people who can settle it easily. The stuff you described is actually pretty common roommate issues that end up being misunderstandings a lot. Of course that's probably the college RA in me talking. Every one is so picky about how they live. People live a certain way and that's how they like it. For a lot of people that's the only way they know it. I've seen fights over whether the peanut butter, ketchup, and bread go in the fridge or cabinet. And a lot of people tend to freak out when even the slightest thing gets messed with. As easy going as I am the one thing I'd hate you for if you were my roommate would be if you dumped food in the sink because then it gets in the drain catch and blocks it up so I have to clean it out when I wash dishes but now all the food is soggy and nasty and THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING AND YOU DO IT EVERY TIME WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DUMP YOUR CEREAL IN THE GARBAGE BAG BECAUSE SOLIDS GO IN THERE AND LIQUIDS GO IN THE SINK THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS AND ITS NOT TOO HARD TO GET THOSE LAST DOZEN CHEERIOS IN THE FUCKING GARBAGE BAG THAT'S 6 FUCKING FEET AWAY FROM THE SINK I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU GET A LITTLE MILK IN THE BAG!

Everyone has their little unspoken peeves.

And if you weren't a dynamic person no way you'd survive here.

[Lucky]

And I don't mean to squash your venting. Your story sounds like a legitimate reason to be mad and cursing. She sounds like a pain in the ass. I'm just saying that in order to avoid further anger and frustration sometimes the reason people talk real loud on the phone is because they don't realize they're talking that loud. Or some one doesn't share toilet paper because the idea of sharing the cost was never actually mentioned to her.

[Eric O'Mac]

I know what it's like, having a roommate that is religious and all.

I mean, I'm religious too, but not like this cat.

I've also had the roommate that doesn't speak. Ever. My freshman year in the dorm, my roommate was out til like, 4 A.M, but he wasn't drinking. He slept all the time (and missed all of his classes, it's why he's not in school anymore.) He would literally keep quiet, all of the time. And he brought the TV, but he never watched it. I mean, never.

But that shit totally doesn't come near stealing toliet paper and being a bitch in general.

Good luck, Court. Hope it works out for you. Anything I can do, let me know. Just bear in mind that I can't actually do anything but lend an ear to a venting person.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

My first year at State I roomed with a dude from Texas who hated Joos and walked around naked... I'm not sure which part was more disturbing.

Everyone has a horror story when it comes to roommates but the key is you need some communication between the two of you or things will only get worse before they get better. You don't have to like each other but you better learn how to live with each other.

[Pun]

My first year at AppState, I had a roommate who loved to get drunk and high every night......EVERY NIGHT. The final straw came when he woke up drunk one night and thought his bean bag chair was the toilet. Thank God I was not on the bottom bunk. My mom and step-dad lived 45 minutes away, so I stayed with them every night. That's part of the reason I became an RA, so I could choose who I wanted to live with.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

How did you get on the top bunk?

[Pun]

I used your nose for a step stool.

[OpTard]

Oct 10, 2008 7:15:21 GMT -5 Courtney said:

if she's supposed to be so religious, she certainly says the word "fuck" a lot. Stupid Fake Christian!

where in the bible does is say christians can't say fuck?

[BTR]

The New Testament. But you wouldn't know anything about that.

[Lucky]

My junior year of college we had a pair for freshmen put with us. One was a very cool dude who I remain casual friends with. He liked to hang out in airports and take photographs. Weird but he spent 3 weeks listening to my copy of Devil Went Down To Georgia trying to figure out how to play it on bass so he was cool. The other one wasn't as much. He seemed ok at first if a bit of a party animal but so were we so who were we to judge? He got high a lot, which was a slight culture shock because even though we drank a bunch we had an unofficial "no drugs" rule in our house that everyone knew. But the truth is we weren't narcs or anything and while I may not have appreciated him rolling a joint on my desk it was copacetic. Then he just stopped going to class and started claiming he was suffering panic attacks that made it impossible to do any work. Seemed like BS but whatever. A college kid not going to class. Go figure. Then things got weird. He started hanging out with us more and word got back to us that he had been shunned by his circle of friends for sleeping with one of the guy's girls. Then word got to us that he had possibly drugged her. That he boasted about dropping date rape drugs in people's drinks. Now things are rough but its not like we have a reliable source for this so... whatever. Plus, now he's not hanging around. In fact, he's not even sleeping in his bed that much. We'd go days without seeing him in the dorm even if we saw him on campus.

Then the new story comes. He's been impersonating Vito. Vito was one of those forces of nature on campus. An RA but a wild drunk. On my 21st birthday we stood on top of a picnic table in the middle of campus chugging bears to a standstill. I was saw him set the sidewalk on fire with lighter fluid and then whip out his dick and piss it out. So he was something. Any way, Eric had something of a resemblance to Vito and apparently had begun to impersonate him complete with pounding on doors and demanding entrance as an RA and confiscating booze and drugs. So these stories are getting around to us but we're still not seeing him, so whatever. Then one night I'm back from the bar before the rest of the guys and chilling when there's pounding on the door. Vito is outside screaming his guts out and nearly breaking the door down. So I take a second to swallow my fear and open the door. To which he slams me into the wall nearly putting a hole in it. He wants the dude who has been impersonating him and he wants him now. I assure him I'm not the guy (this was before those incidents I described and us becoming acquaintances) and that I haven't seen him in days. He finally believes me and leaves. I change my underwear and wait for someone to return to tell the story.

The next afternoon Eric's stuff was pretty much all gone and I didn't see him again for months. He did show up again late in the semester for I don't know what. He just came in, said hi, and hung out for 10 minutes before disappearing from our lives forever. Good ole' Eric. You were a memory.

Eric also left us with another impression as he is responsible for the nickname that my roommates continue to call me today. One night he was VERY high and we were screwing with him. That cool kind of amusement where the high guy is the joke but he's having the time of his life so he doesn't care. And I have no idea why it came up but Eric just randomly pointed at me and yelled "GOAT FUCKER!" It was hilarious if completely random and he insisted on calling me "Goat Fucker" the rest of the night. That was fine until one of the other guys decided the name should stick. He shortened it to "Goat" for decency's sake and made it his goal to have the campus calling me it. And damned if he didn't succeed because within a week a member of the faculty (a nun no less) asked me why I was called "Goat." And the name sticks to college friends to this day.


I have good college roommate stories. He's not even the one I was convinced was going to kill me.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Hey Goat, did any of these guys participate in the scrambled eggs prank?

[Habs]

I bet punker's proposition of living in his pants doesn't look so bad now

[Lucky]

They weren't part of the big scrambled eggs brawl that I believe I've told here. That was my freshman year as a commuter (which is key to the story as we were basically strangers to the people we were pranking and calling from community phones led to mistaken identities). I do think one of the guys I lived with (tuff daddy cool) participated in them sometimes but definitely wasn't part of THE incident/brawl.

The "scrambled eggs" prank in general did carry over to sophomore year when I moved in with them just through the story. They did the prank some times but it lost much of its appeal (and danger) when done from a dorm phone by a resident. People recognized you easily or called you back. Made the whole thing much more boring. Plus me and my commuter buddies who were part of it had lost our taste for the prank after the mess it caused.

[Habs]

The way I see it, you have two options, one you take the noble road, give her he benefit of the doubt, maybe she is shy, and one of her phobias is to run out of toilet paper (we could do a weekly spotlight on her and get all of these questions answered for you). Be nice, do her dishes, try to engage in conversation, etc. Who knows, things might work out.

Or you can skip all that and directly go to all out war. That's the less noble road, and you have to be ready to go all the way. How far are you willing to go? She pulls out a knife, you pull out a gun, she sends one of your friends to the hospital, you send one of hers to the morgue!

[salmonjunkie]

Oct 10, 2008 7:34:48 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

You skirted the issue; are you the Anti-Christ? Is she hot?

Fixed.


Also. This thread is worthless without pictures.

Of your roommates.

[punk/core]

Oct 10, 2008 11:34:55 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

Oct 10, 2008 7:34:48 GMT -5 bdbdbd said:

You skirted the issue; are you the Anti-Christ? Is she hot?

Fixed.


Also. This thread is worthless without pictures.

Of your roommates.

And their naked tits.


This is why I've always lived alone. I couldn't deal with any of this.

Maybe this chick shits like, a lot, and she goes through toilet paper like crazy.