[Lucky]

I got drunk tonight. I did so because around 8 PM tonight I was overwhelmed by rage. Serious rage. My blood boiled. My entire body was hot and flushed and I just wanted to hit something. People asked me why and I had no good reason. I had a lot of little things throughout the day. Stupid people aggravations. Anger at the political landscape and the general state of things. I was just angry.

I drank, because I thought that was best. I wanted to punch something. I fought the urge many times. At the critical stage where I realized I was having a problem I was actually fantasizing about strangling a stranger. Some how the desire to beat and strangle a stranger was very real to me. Even as now I realize that just sounds psychotic.

I almost bought a punching bag at a garage sale a few weeks ago and I think I really should make that buy. This has happened a few times. Nothing really bad happened to me today. It was just a bunch of little things and I apparently just reached some end. After a 6 pack I was cool but I had no real intention of chugging beers to control anger tonight.

I guess I'm just hoping for someone to tell me this isn't totally insane. I just lost it tonight. That's kind of normal, right? I haven't really drank in months, I haven't had much time with my friends, and I've been a bit stressed of late. And I've been sleeping poorly (worse than usual). So it was just me losing my shit, right? I managed to control it. I've dented filing cabinets, nearly broke my hand, and barely avoided bar brawls in similar states of mind. So the fact that I didn't punch anything seems like a kind of improvement.

But still. Is it weird that ever 6-12 months I might have a flash of pure rage where I just hate the world and want to kill some one/thing? And need booze/drugs to calm me?

[Lucky]

Fuck. Reading that I just sound insane.

[Mikey]

I have no answers. Only exalts.

[BTR]

Before I can answer, I would like charts and tables explaining your drinking and rage levels. Can you do sabermetrics with drunken anger?

[Jack Quinn]

I had that problem once. Zoloft can be your friend

[Mikey]

Oct 13, 2008 9:23:50 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

I had that problem once.

Only once?

[Byrntrigan]

Oct 13, 2008 4:04:22 GMT -5 Lucky said:

I got drunk tonight. I did so because around 8 PM tonight I was overwhelmed by rage. Serious rage. My blood boiled. My entire body was hot and flushed and I just wanted to hit something. People asked me why and I had no good reason. I had a lot of little things throughout the day. Stupid people aggravations. Anger at the political landscape and the general state of things. I was just angry.

I drank, because I thought that was best. I wanted to punch something. I fought the urge many times. At the critical stage where I realized I was having a problem I was actually fantasizing about strangling a stranger. Some how the desire to beat and strangle a stranger was very real to me. Even as now I realize that just sounds psychotic.

I almost bought a punching bag at a garage sale a few weeks ago and I think I really should make that buy. This has happened a few times. Nothing really bad happened to me today. It was just a bunch of little things and I apparently just reached some end. After a 6 pack I was cool but I had no real intention of chugging beers to control anger tonight.

I guess I'm just hoping for someone to tell me this isn't totally insane. I just lost it tonight. That's kind of normal, right? I haven't really drank in months, I haven't had much time with my friends, and I've been a bit stressed of late. And I've been sleeping poorly (worse than usual). So it was just me losing my shit, right? I managed to control it. I've dented filing cabinets, nearly broke my hand, and barely avoided bar brawls in similar states of mind. So the fact that I didn't punch anything seems like a kind of improvement.

But still. Is it weird that ever 6-12 months I might have a flash of pure rage where I just hate the world and want to kill some one/thing? And need booze/drugs to calm me?

I love you Lucky ;D

The is the most humanistic you've ever sounded. Albeit, we don't chat too much, but damn son. If there ever was a case for a man to take up fight sports, here you are

Nah, overwhelming emotion is what makes us different then the robots




oh, and Exalt!

[The Jewish Cunthead]

This gonna sound weird but I can relate to Lucky. Whether it's losing a job or seeing the economy or whatever sets me off that day, there have been many times I felt like taking a swing at some random stranger. I think a punching bag is a great idea to release that anger, or at the very least it's a better idea than drinking to make you feel better.

I don't have a basement so a punching bag is out of the question but maybe Paulie can sneak me into Shamrock Meats or something.

[Mikey]

Oct 13, 2008 10:09:00 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

I don't have a basement so a punching bag is out of the question but maybe Paulie can sneak me into Shamrock Meats or something.

Or have Rocko set you up with Gazzo. You can take some anger out that way.

[Jack Quinn]

Oct 13, 2008 9:49:19 GMT -5 Mikey said:

Oct 13, 2008 9:23:50 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

I had that problem once.

Only once?

well ok, once upon a time I used to have that problem, pretty often. I would go into a rage for the smallest things, and a couple of times I think I actually saw red, I was so pissed off I wasn't aware of what I was doing. Luckily for me, I was in my dorm room and all I did was break a window. Still, it cost me $75 to have it fixed. After that, I figured I needed some help.

[Pun]

Oct 13, 2008 10:29:55 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

....and a couple of times I think I actually saw red......

But only in your left eye.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Oct 13, 2008 10:47:59 GMT -5 Pun said:

Oct 13, 2008 10:29:55 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

....and a couple of times I think I actually saw red......

But only in your left eye.

In his right eye, he saw red, green, blue, yellow, brown, white, and black.

[salmonjunkie]

Sleep is the first thing that will help. Sleep deprevation can really fuck with your head. I know it fucks with mine.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Telling Lucky he needs sleep is like telling an anorexic she needs to eat.

[Demko]

I used to have serious anger issues when I was younger... like, I not only felt this sort of rage, but actually took it out on people. Needless to say, I got kicked out of a lot of schools as a kid. I went through therapy in high school to help me deal with my insane temper. I found ways of coping and also ways of getting that anger out in healthy ways.

That having been said, it's completely normal to feel this sort of rage. The only thing I'm concerned about for you, Lucky? Using alcohol as a coping method. I know, I know... everyone so far has been rather light-hearted about this, so I'll wind up coming off as preachy... but PLEASE be careful about utilizing alcohol to cope with this sort of anger. Because then your body will generate the anger more often in order to get you to bring the alcohol more often, and without even realizing it, you've fallen headfirst into alcoholism.

The FMD shows tell-tale signs of alcoholism (and actually has a family history of it), so I have to help her find other ways of coping with life's little issues as well. This isn't to say I'm an expert by any means... but just wanted to voice my concern for you.

Just saying...

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

I find myself much more susceptible to overwhelming rage when I'm not exercising regularly. Endorphins are your friend. Alcohol can smooth over some minor emotional distress, but the disinhibition can make some people far more likely to do something they'll regret later when they've already lost it emotionally.

[salmonjunkie]

Well, I mention sleep deprivation, because that's one of my biggest problems, and it's been a lot worse in the last 2 months. I know it's been a big part of some depression I've been experiencing recently, but what Outback says is true, excercising regularly helps out a lot. I've also been going to the kickboxing room at the gym after working out to throw some kicks at the bags. Lets me get a lot of tension out.

Buy the punching bag and get some gloves. It's one thing to just swing wildly at shit, it's another thing to control your punching. It's actually quite calming to let your aggression out while having it in your control.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

but what Outback says is true, excercising regularly helps out a lot

Absolutely. I felt like shit on Saturday but after an hour on the bike and then boxing on the Wii, I started to feel a little better.

[Tommy]

It took years of booze and drugs for me to get over it. I'm much better now. Couldn't even tell you the last time I raised my voice where it wasn't sports related.

There are probably healthier ways to deal with it.

[Lucky]

Don't worry, Demko. It was stupid for me to get drunk last night to deal with this but its not something I do with any regularity. I honestly don't even drink all that much anymore. But when I was drinking daily I constantly tested myself by going a week, a month, or months without drinking just to see if I missed it and I was cool. I have a real fear of addiction and dependency and its why I never adopt any kind of drug or booze as a routine. As you may have gauged by some of the posts I'm an insomniac and while drugs and booze have helped me sleep at times I always avoid doing that as an answer.

I feel much better today. Man, I just fucking lost it yesterday. And yeah, I've "seen red" before, I nearly broke my hand punching a stone pillar once, I've broken quite a few video game controllers. Its been worse because I resisted the urge to punch stuff last night or go out and pick a fight. Last night was just the first time in awhile. Sleep helped. As did activity. Things I knew but last night. Man.

[Jack Quinn]

Oct 13, 2008 17:01:27 GMT -5 Lucky said:

I've broken quite a few video game controllers.

Been there. Stupid Tecmo Bowl

[salmonjunkie]

LUCKY SMASH!!!!

[Demko]

Oct 13, 2008 17:12:18 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

LUCKY SMASH!!!!

EXALT for the Hulk reference. :-D

[Attitude Adjuster]

I think I know what the real issue is. Yesterday I received my annual check from the C&B Baseball League, signed by Mr. Lopez. He just hates giving me money year in and year out.

[Lucky]

grumble grumble