[The Jewish Cunthead]

Have at it, ya surly bastard.

[Jack Quinn]

Where to start?

I think the standard is essentially fuck Barry Bonds. Fuck him for being the cheat that I firmly believe him to be. As Solly knows, my Uncle and I are constantly debating Bonds (and sports in general) Here appear to be some of our key points of differing on Barry Bonds:

The Hall of Fame:

The Uncle thinks you HAVE to put him in, the numbers, even prior to being a cheating fuck, justify it. I call bullshit on that, if you let him in, it justifies the cheating. The Uncle retorts that nothing has been proven. To this, I have to agree. I believe the evidence is overwhelming, and I have no doubt that he did it, but that is not guilt. I still say you make an example out of him. The Uncle comes back with the idea that keeping Bonds out of the Hall only serves to keep him in the spotlight (much like Pete Rose). You put him in the hall, and he fades into obscurity. I also have a problem with this. You can't reward someone with the hall of fame just to make them go away. Baseball will never do that. So we are essentially stuck at, he respects Bonds and will wait until there is more evidence, I say fuck Bonds with a red hot poker, he cheated.

Issue 2: The Giants in the Playoffs

Here the Uncle believes that should the Giants make the playoffs, and in a weak NL (fuck the Mets) possibly the World Series, Bonds will be content to retire and call it a career and go off and do whatever it is that cheating fuckwits do (other than play for the Yankees) On one hand, I like this idea, though then you run the risk of Barry further selling his soul to Satan and dragging his teammates to the World Series and winning it. Fuck that. That is like forgiving a hard criminal so they can die in peace. If Barry wins the WS, then he can retire in peace and call it a successful career. Fuck that. I hope the Giants lose the WC to the Phillies by 1/2 game. Choke on that fuck stick.

Issue 3: Bonds in Detroit?

First of all, we both sincerely hope this does not happen. And we both believe that while Leyland probably believes that he can control the ego that is Bonds, Dombrowski is smart enough to tell Barroid to go piss up a rope and die. The main issue here is, should the Tigers do the unthinkable and sign Barry, do we go see him? Of course, the Uncle says he has to go see him, being one of the greatest players in the last 25 years. I, on the other hand, cannot be enticed to go see him. Not even to boo him. Indifference thy name is Barry. Fuck you Bonds, you are not even worth my money to go boo your ass and hope you blow a knee on my watch.

Issue 4: Non-Bonds Stuff: If A-Rod retired now, today, does he go to the Hall of Fame?

This was today's debate. We both agree that if he keeps playing A-Rod is a lock Hall of Famer. But if he were to retire today? He says yes, I say no. A-Rod's numbers are great, some would say sick. But at this point, he has 400 something homers, and 2000 something hits, and a .300 ish batting average. All fantastic, but Hall of Fame worthy? I say no. The Uncle contends that there are guys in the Hall now whose numbers are not even that good. He has a point there, and I am not even sure how to defend against that, but for me, my personal benchmark is 500 HR's 3000 hits, and a batting average over .300 (or some combination of the three)

Issue 5: Non-Baseball division: How Bad are the Lions and what happens if we lose to Green Bay?

Ok, I don't think the Lions are as good as the 9-6 loss to Seattle, and I don't think they are as bad as the ass-whupping by the Bears. That said, we HAVE to beat the Packers this week. Now, not being a die-hard Lions fan, I have not developed a pathological hatred of the Packers that a lot of Lions fans have developed, so to me at least, Favre is not the anti-christ. But being a Lions fan, we have to be better than the Packers this season. It is a moral imperative.

Ok, enough for now

[The Jewish Cunthead]

mooseheadjack said:

The Uncle retorts that nothing has been proven.

WRONG WRONG WRONG. He told the grand jury testimony he unknowingly took steroids, he thought it was flexseed oil remember? The Giambis came clean, Bonds & Sheff hid behind the unknowingly card which in itself is a big FUCK YOU to anyone who's ever cheered them in their careers. Either they ALL took something, some chose to come clean, some took the pussy way out.

There is no smoking syringe - we can only hope Bonds uses whatever balls he has left to finally come clean, to stop this charade and just stop wasting everyone's time, especially the two reporters sent to jail today for simply doing their jobs.

Uhhh if the Giants finished 1/2 game behind Philly, they'd make up that game Monday afternoon but I get your point. Normally it's the Phillies who finish a game out come October, maybe the Giants want a taste.

A-Rod's a HOFer today, period, end of story. What if he didn't retire, what if he died in a tragic bathhouse incident? If Clemente didn't get that 3000th hit before he died, would you keep him out too? What A-Rod's been able to accomplish in record time is absurd. 2 time MVP, 2 gold gloves, .305-463-1342... and he's only 31. It's not even up for debate.

[Mikey]

mooseheadjack said:

Where to start?

I think the standard is essentially fuck Barry Bonds. Fuck him for being the cheat that I firmly believe him to be. As Solly knows, my Uncle and I are constantly debating Bonds (and sports in general) Here appear to be some of our key points of differing on Barry Bonds:

The Hall of Fame:

The Uncle thinks you HAVE to put him in, the numbers, even prior to being a cheating fuck, justify it. I call bullshit on that, if you let him in, it justifies the cheating. The Uncle retorts that nothing has been proven. To this, I have to agree. I believe the evidence is overwhelming, and I have no doubt that he did it, but that is not guilt. I still say you make an example out of him. The Uncle comes back with the idea that keeping Bonds out of the Hall only serves to keep him in the spotlight (much like Pete Rose). You put him in the hall, and he fades into obscurity. I also have a problem with this. You can't reward someone with the hall of fame just to make them go away. Baseball will never do that. So we are essentially stuck at, he respects Bonds and will wait until there is more evidence, I say fuck Bonds with a red hot poker, he cheated.

Issue 2: The Giants in the Playoffs

Here the Uncle believes that should the Giants make the playoffs, and in a weak NL (fuck the Mets) possibly the World Series, Bonds will be content to retire and call it a career and go off and do whatever it is that cheating fuckwits do (other than play for the Yankees) On one hand, I like this idea, though then you run the risk of Barry further selling his soul to Satan and dragging his teammates to the World Series and winning it. Fuck that. That is like forgiving a hard criminal so they can die in peace. If Barry wins the WS, then he can retire in peace and call it a successful career. Fuck that. I hope the Giants lose the WC to the Phillies by 1/2 game. Choke on that fuck stick.

Issue 3: Bonds in Detroit?

First of all, we both sincerely hope this does not happen. And we both believe that while Leyland probably believes that he can control the ego that is Bonds, Dombrowski is smart enough to tell Barroid to go piss up a rope and die. The main issue here is, should the Tigers do the unthinkable and sign Barry, do we go see him? Of course, the Uncle says he has to go see him, being one of the greatest players in the last 25 years. I, on the other hand, cannot be enticed to go see him. Not even to boo him. Indifference thy name is Barry. Fuck you Bonds, you are not even worth my money to go boo your ass and hope you blow a knee on my watch.

Issue 4: Non-Bonds Stuff: If A-Rod retired now, today, does he go to the Hall of Fame?

This was today's debate. We both agree that if he keeps playing A-Rod is a lock Hall of Famer. But if he were to retire today? He says yes, I say no. A-Rod's numbers are great, some would say sick. But at this point, he has 400 something homers, and 2000 something hits, and a .300 ish batting average. All fantastic, but Hall of Fame worthy? I say no. The Uncle contends that there are guys in the Hall now whose numbers are not even that good. He has a point there, and I am not even sure how to defend against that, but for me, my personal benchmark is 500 HR's 3000 hits, and a batting average over .300 (or some combination of the three)

Issue 5: Non-Baseball division: How Bad are the Lions and what happens if we lose to Green Bay?

Ok, I don't think the Lions are as good as the 9-6 loss to Seattle, and I don't think they are as bad as the ass-whupping by the Bears. That said, we HAVE to beat the Packers this week. Now, not being a die-hard Lions fan, I have not developed a pathological hatred of the Packers that a lot of Lions fans have developed, so to me at least, Favre is not the anti-christ. But being a Lions fan, we have to be better than the Packers this season. It is a moral imperative.

Ok, enough for now

Best post ever.

[Lucky]

Yeah, A-Rod's a Hall of Famer today. Just like Griffey was a few years ago before he had hit the benchmarks and had fallen off. A-Rod's numbers are just insane and historic. Denying him entrance would be inexcusable. NOONE has ever been as good as he has been for the first decade of their career. NOONE. And if I remember correctly he's 1 HR behind the alltime leader for SS. If you consider that the overwhelming majority of his career was spent at SS he's easily the greatest offensive SS of all time.

[Sparty]

I hate the Lions so much right now. I can't even explain it. And usually I don't feel this way. I didn't even hate the MSU football team when the collapsed last season (which caused me to not be able to go to bowl game in Warm Place, USA).

I just hate them so much.

The Detroit Lions Must Die.

[yousef]

I really don't care about Bonds, the human being.

All I know is that I don't want some artifically enhanced chemistry experiment to pass Hank Aaron's record.

Don't get me wrong; it is not that I don't want the record broken because I'm (still) a Braves fan. If the record was broken by somebody who didn't cheat to do it I'd be a little sad, but also happy that I got to see it happen twice in my lifetime.

To have it broken by somebody who sat down and thought "How can I cheat to get this done?" I find abhorrent.

[DevSop]

Here's a scary thought for me and solly, I'm pretty sure he's with me on the A-Rod dislike, for no other reason than he's A-Rod. But it's seeming more and more likely with each passing day that Bonds is coming back next season if not the one after as well, and he WILL pass Aaron. But he's not going to get too far past him, 775, tops. Which means in about 8 years A-Rod should be in the 700 range as well which means I am going to have to root for Rodriguez to stay healthy and pass Bonds. Cause while A-DPRod might have that one quality that brings about dislike, Bonds is an arrogant fucktard who should be hit with the Face Aids.

And even if I wanted to root for a 3rd party, I don't think there's a plausible candidate as of right now. Pujols is great, but something tells me he'll have a normal tailoff coming up within 5 years or so and Cabrera seems too young and immature to do it. Howard's too old, not sure if there's anyone else in the majors who could even sniff Mays let alone the 700 club.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

As much as I dislike A-Rod the person, I can't ignore the fact that HE, not Bonds, could go down as the greatest player of all-time not named Babe Ruth (until Mays, Bonds & A-Rod pitch as well as they hit, Ruth will always be the king in my eyes).

Like previously mentioned, he's already put up the best numbers for anyone his age and he's showing no signs of slowing down (even a down year will have him .290-40-115).

A-Rod isn't the best horse to back but if it's between a cheating prick and just a prick, I go with the prick.

[Jack Quinn]

Well, the Lions lost yesterday. My God does that suck. If I weren't a Lions fan, it was a fun game, but there is no fucking way we should still be losing to Faver and the FudgePackers. How Millen still has a job is just beyond me.


Which brings me to my current biggest peeve, aside from Barry Bonds. Michael Vick and Falcons fans. I have never seen a more overrated player in my life. I could see if, say, he was a running back, he is fast, he is quick, he is agile. But he is a fucking QB - and a piss poor one at that. What amazes me is that people keep falling all over themselves to praise this guy "he is the new breed of QB!" And what breed might that be? The QB who can't throw worth a shit? There was a QB that was better at whatever it is that Vick is supposed to do than Vick - his name was Randall Cunningham. He could run, he could throw, he was exciting. And what happened to him? One too many scrambles and he got his leg broken. That sucked, but it also taught him to be a pretty good pocket passer, something Vick seems unwilling/unable to learn

Finally, what was the one big knock on the Eagles last year? They could throw the hell out of the ball, but they could not run it. All we heard was people bemoan the fact that a one dimensional team could NEVER win the SB. And now those same experts are falling over themselves about the Falcons. THEY CAN RUN THE HELL OUT OF THE BALL!!! But they cannot pass for shit. Eventually they will hit a D that stops the run, then what? Are you going to rely on Vick to win the game through the air? Not a chance.

Fuck the Falcons, and Fuck Michael Vick

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

luckylopez said:

.... If you consider that the overwhelming majority of his career was spent at SS he's easily the gayest offensive SS of all time.

Fixed it.

[Loki]

mooseheadjack said:

Which brings me to my current biggest peeve, aside from Barry Bonds. Michael Vick and Falcons fans. I have never seen a more overrated player in my life. I could see if, say, he was a running back, he is fast, he is quick, he is agile. But he is a fucking QB - and a piss poor one at that. What amazes me is that people keep falling all over themselves to praise this guy "he is the new breed of QB!"

Nope. Gotta disagree with you there. Falcons fans worship the guy, of course. He’s their QB, and he can be fun to watch. And some announcers give him the verbal BJ that they give to Peyton. Other than that, though, I see a hug Vick backlash. Sports message boards crucify the guy and sports writers/yakkers tear him apart. It reminds me a bit of the backlash that Peyton has got over the past few years for being overrated.

[devmax]

I wasn't sure if I could post rants here being as it's technically Moose's thread. If I'm not supposed to, have OpTard warn me or something :

I've come here today to rant about something worse than Bonds, Vick, and TO combined. I've come here today to talk about the ungodly belch of an announcing team known as ESPN's Monday Night Football announcers. Where to start. Umm, how about Tony Kornhieser. The man has absolutely NO business calling MNF let alone 9 ball on ESPN 2. He has no clue what he's talking about and makes the most absurd points about random nothingness. You have to imagine that the only reason he's even in the booth is because Boomer, Tom Jackson, Mike Ditka, Chris Mortensen, Merrill Hodge, Michael Irving, Doug Flutie, Stuart Scott, and that annoying guy from the ESPN mobile commercials all turned the job down. I mean good lord, when you make John Freakin' Madden sound fun and exciting you've officially reached the "just shoot yourself" phase of your career.

And speaking of just shooting yourself. You gotta give it to Theissman for not doing it up to this point. The animosity between Tony and Joe is so thick you can cut it with a knife. I started out thinking that it was all staged, like they wanted Tony and Joe to bicker a la PTI. By the 2nd quarter of the second game I was positive that it wasn't staged and Theissman just wanted to kick Kornhieser in the ballsack. Joe used to be my least favorite announcer because he had that elitist "If you haven't played you don't have an opinion" attitude. Kornhieser is SO bad he makes me think Joe's elitism was warranted all these years. It's sad, the only joy I get out of listening to them on Monday's is the satisfaction of knowing that Theissman is getting his karma payback for being a Redskin Homer who talked down to you in his announcing all these years.

And Tirico? Poor, poor Tirico. You get the feeling that he's just the guy caught in the middle. I think if he had a stronger personality he'd tell Tony and Joe to shut the fuck up. But, he's Mike Tirico. He just doesn't give a shit and lets Punch and Judy capitalize the broadcast.

With the current state of RAW I was really looking forward to finally getting to watch a majority of the MNF games. Instead I'm left having to decide between bamboo under the nails (RAW), pencils in the ears (MNF), or a really juicy papercut dipped in Lemon juice (Homework). It's looking like Monday might be the official homework night.

[DevSop]

DevMax, if I may so bold as to suggest one of the best primetime lineups on TV right now. NBC's Heroes and Studio 60. My two favorite new shows of the fall and they're back to back and belly to....wait, they're just very good and much better than Raw and Football.

[devmax]

I've been watching Heroes via torrents (I don't get home until 9 on mondays). and I've heard good things about studio 60. I'll have to check it out next week.

[chretienbabacool]

I can't hate the Lions because as a Bears fan, the Lions aren't scary enough to hate. I want to more pat them on the head and feel bad.