TEN PUN DEATH MATCH
Feb 17, 2013 15:28:15 GMT -5
Post by Andy on Feb 17, 2013 15:28:15 GMT -5
Michael Demko
The Puns on a Pole death match!
Hey guys,
So, I heard I have the fight of my life to endure before I win a Male Bag
World Title. I have to unleash the 10 most awful puns I can think of on my
opponent, Bartow Florida. So let's get this Pun-Off started!
1. Bartow, I'm afraid you don't have much of a chance in this battle,
seeing as no one knows more about Pun-ishment than Demko.
2. Be ready for the spice of competition, Mr. Florida. I am prepared to
as-salt and pepper you with awful puns.
3. I'm gonna hurt you so bad, Andy and Chris will have to call the Bar-Tow
truck to haul away your sorry carcass.
4. Don't try to write down your puns with a broken pencil. It's pointless.
5. Just like a calendar, Bartow, your days are numbered.
6. What would Andy's fiancee, Nicole say about this World Title belt,
Bartow? It's NACHOS!
And these last three puns are dino-related, in honor of Bartow's alter-ego:
7. Bartow likes to portray a gay dino in some of his e-mails. I guess that
would make him a Dino-sore-ass. (Calm down, Cam.)
8. But here's the thing. I've heard that Bartow Florida's dino isn't
actually gay. I hear he likes a Lickalotapus. (Calm down, Me.)
9. I just hope his girlfriend never gets her Jurassic Period.
10. And finally, lest you forget who the fuck I am, Bartow. I'm Michael
Demko, Master of Demko's Dungeon. You can call me Dino-Sir from now on,
bitch!
Thanks for the opportunity to take this title home, Andy. And thanks for
not being there for MNF, Chris. Unless you would have voted for me, in
which case, go fuck yourself, Chris.
I'll hang up now and listen...
Michael Demko
Co-Host of TV For Vendetta
Master of Demko's Dungeon
Bartow Florida
Demko Pun-Off!
What's this? I get finished with the most epicest tag battle of all time
and now I must enter a c4-laden ring covered in nails, surrounded by barbed
wire, all of which is on fire? FUCK YES BRING IT ON YOU COCKKNOCKERS! I
WILL DESTROY DEMKO WITH MY ARSENAL OF PUNNERY!
- Michael Demko? More like Michael Man-Ho!
- C4? It's still gonna be a c-BORE of a match with Demko involved!
- You could light everything on fire, and it still wouldn't be as FLAMING
as Demko! HA!
- You're going to throw a bed of tacks in there? With Demko, it might as
well be a bed of TACKY! HEY-YO!
- Speaking of Michael "BJ" Demko, he only wishes his bad jokes were half as
good as his blow jobs!
- TV for Vendetta? More like HIV for your ears!
- Master of Demko's Dungeon? More like Plastered With Man-Ho's Cum and Gin!
- He's a fan of Doctor Who? Well, more like Doctor Who the Fuck is This
Guy?!?!?!
- Demko is from Tampa Bay? More like, Ramp Up The Gay!
- He's friends with Brian V. Alstyne? More like he's a fan of Beating
Virgins' Anals Time!
Woo, good thing I wrapped that up, that was getting a little off the rails.
Who am I kidding? This thing started off the rails. Well I can only hope
the people of the Malebag will appreciate my punnery and anti-gay-dino
agenda, as with these two victories I can accomplish the impossible and
unify myself as The MNF Heavyweight/Tag-Team Champion! So Demko, I hope
you've done your worst, now we can see who the real Floridian is, the guy
who lives there, or the guy that calls himself Florida for no discernable
reason! HA!
The Puns on a Pole death match!
Hey guys,
So, I heard I have the fight of my life to endure before I win a Male Bag
World Title. I have to unleash the 10 most awful puns I can think of on my
opponent, Bartow Florida. So let's get this Pun-Off started!
1. Bartow, I'm afraid you don't have much of a chance in this battle,
seeing as no one knows more about Pun-ishment than Demko.
2. Be ready for the spice of competition, Mr. Florida. I am prepared to
as-salt and pepper you with awful puns.
3. I'm gonna hurt you so bad, Andy and Chris will have to call the Bar-Tow
truck to haul away your sorry carcass.
4. Don't try to write down your puns with a broken pencil. It's pointless.
5. Just like a calendar, Bartow, your days are numbered.
6. What would Andy's fiancee, Nicole say about this World Title belt,
Bartow? It's NACHOS!
And these last three puns are dino-related, in honor of Bartow's alter-ego:
7. Bartow likes to portray a gay dino in some of his e-mails. I guess that
would make him a Dino-sore-ass. (Calm down, Cam.)
8. But here's the thing. I've heard that Bartow Florida's dino isn't
actually gay. I hear he likes a Lickalotapus. (Calm down, Me.)
9. I just hope his girlfriend never gets her Jurassic Period.
10. And finally, lest you forget who the fuck I am, Bartow. I'm Michael
Demko, Master of Demko's Dungeon. You can call me Dino-Sir from now on,
bitch!
Thanks for the opportunity to take this title home, Andy. And thanks for
not being there for MNF, Chris. Unless you would have voted for me, in
which case, go fuck yourself, Chris.
I'll hang up now and listen...
Michael Demko
Co-Host of TV For Vendetta
Master of Demko's Dungeon
Bartow Florida
Demko Pun-Off!
What's this? I get finished with the most epicest tag battle of all time
and now I must enter a c4-laden ring covered in nails, surrounded by barbed
wire, all of which is on fire? FUCK YES BRING IT ON YOU COCKKNOCKERS! I
WILL DESTROY DEMKO WITH MY ARSENAL OF PUNNERY!
- Michael Demko? More like Michael Man-Ho!
- C4? It's still gonna be a c-BORE of a match with Demko involved!
- You could light everything on fire, and it still wouldn't be as FLAMING
as Demko! HA!
- You're going to throw a bed of tacks in there? With Demko, it might as
well be a bed of TACKY! HEY-YO!
- Speaking of Michael "BJ" Demko, he only wishes his bad jokes were half as
good as his blow jobs!
- TV for Vendetta? More like HIV for your ears!
- Master of Demko's Dungeon? More like Plastered With Man-Ho's Cum and Gin!
- He's a fan of Doctor Who? Well, more like Doctor Who the Fuck is This
Guy?!?!?!
- Demko is from Tampa Bay? More like, Ramp Up The Gay!
- He's friends with Brian V. Alstyne? More like he's a fan of Beating
Virgins' Anals Time!
Woo, good thing I wrapped that up, that was getting a little off the rails.
Who am I kidding? This thing started off the rails. Well I can only hope
the people of the Malebag will appreciate my punnery and anti-gay-dino
agenda, as with these two victories I can accomplish the impossible and
unify myself as The MNF Heavyweight/Tag-Team Champion! So Demko, I hope
you've done your worst, now we can see who the real Floridian is, the guy
who lives there, or the guy that calls himself Florida for no discernable
reason! HA!