[Deleted]

williamssl said:

Like this?

[williamssl]

It's tied again. It's tied again. Hoooooooooray!!!!!

[Lucky]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, GATOR! TEMP BAN!

[The Jewish Cunthead]

luckylopez said:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Exactly. Gator, you learn well my child.

[Deleted]

Fuckers.

Fucking Fuckers.

[docx]

I am not a heretic. I will not recant.
Smite me all you want. Mr. Wizard is bad as hell.
A) He closely resembled My Favorite Martian
B) He knew how to blow you up using a mixture of ordinary household goods.
C) H.R. PufnStuf = obvious drug referencel; drugs = dirty hippies; dirty hippies = the path to utter ruination

[williamssl]

docx said:

B) He knew how to blow you

That too. And maybe THAT'S why Gator loves him so

[Deleted]

Hey, if you're blindfolded, a blowjob feels the same from man, woman, or horse.

Oh, wait.

[williamssl]

So when does loki jr. eat paper?

[The Jewish Cunthead]

First off, fuck all y'all and second I actually thought Mr. Wizard resembled Mr. Drummond. Like I said in my first post, I think the staple of a good kids show is education so that's why it got my vote.

[Loki]

Cort, Tex and gentlemen - we have our FIRST TIEBREAKER!

Based on the rules, I have taken two pieces of paper, labeled one “HR” and the other “Wiz”. Whichever one my little guy picks up and masticates fist is the winner!

And, here we go!

[Announcer voice over person]: The little guy is looking at the papers as if trying to figure out which one he wants first. Deciding, deciding, he’s reaching for the Wizard.... No, wait! He’s changed his mind! Now he’s reaching for HR. Wait, now he’s stopped. He’s paused, looking deep in thought.... now he has a look of consternation on his face....

....

....

Whoa. Dude. That stinks. That’s going to be messy. Couldn’t you wait until after this was over before you took your bathroom break?

Anyway, the little guy and his full diaper are reaching, reaching…. OH MY GOSH! He’s grabbed both of the papers! And he’s getting ready to shove both of them in his mouth! Which will it be? Which will it be?

------------------------------------------

I, Loki, do hereby declare the winner to be Mister Wizard!


(time passes)

[CUT SCENE to the inside of Gator's place, "The Gator Pimphouse Bar and Grille")


Loki: Gator, I need to have a talk with you.

Gator: Sure thing, Loki, just step into my office. [aside to one of the numerous scantily clad women surrounding him] Yo, sweetcheeks, go get us two drinks. [back to Loki] Now, what seems to be the problem?

Loki: Gator, you didn’t live up to you end of the bargain!

Gator: [theatrically cleaning his ears] Excuse me? Excuse me? I must not be hearing correctly.

Loki: [smacking Gator’s hand away]: No, jackass, you heard me correctly. You promised me an awesome night with the chick of my dreams if I lied and said Mister Wizard won.

Gator: And I sent you a woman, right? And you had a great night, right?

Loki: Dude, she was 4 foot 11 and weighed 300 pounds!

Gator: But you had a great night?

Loki: That’s not the point!

Gator: Then what is the point? She reported back that you were extremely satisfied.

Loki: She tricked me!

Gator [arching an eyebrow] And how, exactly, did she trick you?

Loki: [mumbling] Came to the door wearing an Optimus Prime mask....

Gator: And why didn’t you turn her away?

Loki: [mumbling] She had me at “Autobots, transform and roll out”....

Gator [leaning back]: Look, I’m failing to see the problem. I offered merchandise, and you took it. Not my fault if you’re having second thoughts.

Loki: [slamming his hands down on the table and standing up] No! I refuse to be held hostage to your stupid practical joke! I’m going to announce the true winner and make this right!

Gator: [standing up menacingly and motioning to the previously unseen toughs sitting around the room] You don’t want to do that, friend. Why don’t you go back home and calm down. I’ll send another woman to you and we can forget this conversation ever took place.

Loki: No! Your tough guys don’t scare me! I came prepared! [whistles]

Just then, the door to the club flies off the hinges and crashes into one of the toughs with a resounding thud! A figure is silhouetted in the doorway! It steps in, and explodes in awesome martial arts action! After decimating all the toughs it faces Gator and yells “SHOCKING FIRST BULLET!”. Light explodes from its hand as it punches Gator, and Gator’s body flies through the air to crash limply into the wall!

A midget, who had entered right behind the warrior, walks over to Gator’s unconscious form and lights a match of his head, with which he lights a cigar. After taking a few puffs he turns to Loki.

Midget: Is that what you wanted?

Loki: Yes. Thanks. As agreed, the money is in your account. Please thank Kenji for me.

Midget: [turns toward Kenji and speaks in Japanese] <The foreign dog was unable to secure the money. However, he has arranged for these fine concubines to be your payment for tonight.>

-----------------------------------


The actual winner is HR Pufnstuf!

[williamssl]

Very entertaining!

If this is a preview of what all tiebreakers are going to be like, I am very much motivated to see more matchups result in ties!

[Batman]

loki said:

masticates fist

Awesome death-metal band name!


(Good story, too. I liked the way you worked in your transformer love. Kudos.)

[Deleted]

You suck.