REVOLUTION ONE WRESTLING
May 3, 2015 10:15:23 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Dashbee on May 3, 2015 10:15:23 GMT -5
We fade into an unnamed arena, packed to the rafters with fans. Everyone came on the premise of a promise—a new wrestling organization...an alternative…that they can really sink their teeth into. It’s filled with all-stars, but it’s not an all-star show. No, it promises to “save us,” and be the best damn wrestling show on the planet.
The lights go out, and we’re greeted with a countdown.
Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring, carrying his old WWF and WCW World Championship belts. He showboats and celebrates on his way to the ring, where he finally grabs a mic.
Chris Jericho: [In low, “dark” Jericho voice] Ask any wrestling fan what they want and they will tell you they want a change, they want an alternative. Some would even say they want a...revolution.
You can have a revolution, but for it to really cause an evolution, you can only get ONE...revolution. So therefore I have been given the task of welcoming you to that one...revolution.
Welcome to...REVOLUTION ONE WRESTLING.
And therefore, [changes to high, loud “rockstar” Jericho voice]
welcome to...
REVOLUTION... IS... JERICHO!
You see when Mr. Dashbee put this little shindig together, he picked the most charismatic, enigmatic, and when it comes to ratings, automatic, performer in the entire world!
But I am not here to save this company, it’s a brand new baby that hasn’t even been spoiled yet. I am here to save sports entertainment, entertainment entertainment, and most importantly professional wrestling from the poor booking, poor writing, poor chanting [fans kinda boo at that one, Jericho smiles], and of course poor performing.
Because when it comes to performing, there is none better than your party host, your new hero, the most charismatic showman, the best in the world at what I do, and the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah!
[Crowd: Y2J! Y2J!]
I am the leader of your new revolution, I am professional wrestling’s knight in shining honor, I am the man who will save professional wrestling, all while entertaining each and every one…of YOU!
[Crowd: Y2J! Y2J!]
And I will do that, by becoming the first ever, R1 World Heavyweight “Champeen.” And when I do, this arena, those wrestlers, all of you, and the WORLD...
Will Neverrrrrrr...EVERRRRRRRRRR…be the same….A-GAYAN!
The lights go out, but this time there’s no countdown….but “GONG!”
The Undertaker stands on the stage, microphone in hand.
Undertaker: Chris Jericho...at—
Chris Jericho: Hey. Hey! HEY HEY HEY! Listen, Deadman. Congratulations on being the number TWO draft pick for Revolution 1 Wrestling. But you’re looking at the number ONE pick, the best in the world at what I do! So if you think you’re going to come out here and lay claim to the R1 World Heavyweight Championship, you’re going to have to do it...OVER MY DEAD BODY BABY!
Jericho laughs, but you can tell it isn’t sincere.
Undertaker: Very well then. Chris Jericho, at Revolt, you will REST. IN. PEACE.