[Leo]

Add/Drop and trading now officially closed. Getting any lineup changes, especially who your Update anchor or anchors are going to be, to me asap. Tweaks to your current line up can still go until match-ups are posted. First round match-ups will probably go up around 8 p.m. tomorrow night.

Dead's update team updated and has inspired me to add Garofalo to the anchor desk with A. Whitney Brown for my own roster.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Cold open:
The New Three Amigos: Steve Martin, Martin Short, Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat

It's Saturday Night Live, starring:

Jim Breuer
Eddie Murphy
Cheri Oteri
Joe Piscopo
Colin Quinn (WU)
Gilda Radner
Harry Shearer
Martin Short
Julia Sweeney
Kristen Wiig

Musical Guest: Paul McCartney

And your host, Steve Martin

Monologue: Steve Martin

Celebrity Password: Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Gilda Radner, Kristin Wiig, Harry Shearer

Pat meets Ed Grimley: Julia Sweeney, Martin Short

James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub: Eddie Murphy, Paul McCartney

Music: Paul McCartney

Weekend Update: Colin Quinn with appearances by Gilda Radner and Harry Shearer

Bill Cosby goes on Love Connection: Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, Kristen Wiig, Julia Sweeney, Cheri Oteri

Frank Sinatra and Joe Pesci go to Target: Joe Piscopo, Jim Breuer, Kristen Wiig

The View: Eddie Murphy, Kristen Wiig, Gilda Radner, Cheri Oteri, Julia Sweeney, Steve Martin

Music: Paul McCartney

Goodnights

[Leo]

What Solly posted is GREAT. I encourage everyone to do the same, but it's not required. You can post here or in the matchup thread for you when it goes up. I'll copy and paste Solly's into his matchup thread and I've got a show outline I'm posting to mine too to make sure people to see it for their voting considerations.

[Chris Eco]

All right, I tried to give this a little effort since my partner did too. I'll post in the thread if Leo doesn't.



Cold Open: Clinton Debate Prep
Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler) meets with Barack Obama (Chris Rock) to prepare for her upcoming debates against Donald Trump. Obama brings Mark Wahlberg (Adam Sandler) in as a stand-in for Trump, and he proceeds to insult Hillary until she gets too flustered to continue. Obama then steps in to show how it’s done, but he too gets flustered – turning into The Rock Obama (Dwayne Johnson)! The Rock Obama starts going off on Trump’s “roody-poo candy ass” and dropping Wahlberg with a Rock Bottom. Wahlberg gets up and tells Rock Obama good job, Clinton tries again, but collapses after a karate kick attempt.

Rock: “Must be the pneumonia. That thing will eat you a-LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!”

It’s Saturday Night Live, starring:

Dana Carvey
Chris Rock
Amy Poehler (WU)
Andy Samberg
Taran Killam
Julia-Louis Dreyfus
Adam Sandler
Vanessa Bayer
Ellen Cleghorne
Anthony Michael Hall

Musical Guest: Ariana Grande!

And your host . . . Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!

Monologue

Dwayne Johnson riffs on his status as a (now) five-time SNL host, Shazam, Ballers and the upcoming Emmys.

Shy Ronnie 3 - Ronnie and Ariana:
Shy Ronnie (Andy Samberg) is co-starring alongside Ariana Grande in a movie much like “When Justin Met Kelly.” Extending the usual Shy Ronnie gimmick where he can only sing when the attractive woman is gone and otherwise mumbles, he not only nails his singing when Ariana leaves for a glass of water, but also nails a dance number with his background cast (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chris Rock, Ellen Cleghorne, Anthony Michael Hall)

Church Lady:
The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) interviews her first guest, Ariana Grande, insulting her for her provocative videos and songs. Tim Tebow (Taran Killam) is the second guest, talking about his start with the Mets’ minor league team, and the Church Lady is in love with him. The Rock comes out as the final guest, Church Lady admonishes him for his behavior in the ring. The Rock explains that it’s all staged, but then Triple H (Adam Sandler . . . get it, the nose) comes in and hits Tebow with a chair, and Rock/Triple H begin brawling through the crowd, ending the show.

Detention Club:
A parody of the Breakfast Club – Bender (Adam Sandler) is telling the other kids in detention, Claire (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss) and Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) about his exploits, when they are joined by the kids from “the other side of town” LaDanian (Chris Rock) and Rhonda (Ellen Cleghorne). LaDanian’s stories are embarrassingly cooler than Bender’s – when Bender changes tacks to sympathy about how his dad beats him, LaDanian escalates these stories as well, until Bender walks off and sulks. Claire jogs off with LaDanian to go see the gun his dad pistol-whipped him with. Brian asks Rhonda if it’s all true, and Rhonda says heck no, LaDanian is in detention for stealing chess club equipment – but white girls are easy to fool.

J-Pop America Fun Time Now:
Jonathan Cavanaugh-san (Taran Killam) and Rebecca Stern-Markowitz-san (Vanessa Bayer) lead another offensive episode of their Michigan State University television show, featuring their Samoan classmate, Brian Anoa’i (Dwayne Johnson), as they are convinced that Samoa is part of Japan. Brian attempts to correct them, but once local sushi chef Karen Pizzola (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) joins and discusses her deep desire to make love to a Japanese man, Anoa’i immediately—and unconvincingly—picks up the act and escorts Pizzola off after wooing. her.

Musical Performance #1:

Ariana Grande, "Dangerous Woman"

Weekend Update:
Following an opening segment with Operaman (Adam Sandler), we go to Amy Poehler for the main news. Amy Poehler’s segment is broken up by two contributions – 1700s newspaper columnist Jebediah Atkinson (Taran Killam) sarcastically reviews the Emmys, and Poehler interviews H. Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) about the “independent candidate moment” in American politics.

Former Porn Stars Home Shopping:
Brecky (Vanessa Bayer) is joined by Mindina (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss) to sell SheerSucker Properties timeshares in Florida. They are joined by one of the occupants of the timeshares – George H.W. Bush (Dana Carvey) who rides in on his golf cart. Bush is comically incapable of understanding their innuendos, but then gives an inadvertently sexual final sell at the end (referencing lying back with your beer and attractive women as “2 girls, 1 cup”) that causes Brecky and Mindina to call him disgusting and walk off.

Howard Stern 1997:
Howard Stern (Andy Samberg) is in 1997 with his co-host Robin Quivers (Ellen Cleghorne). They conduct an increasingly crude interview with Donald Trump (Taran Killam) and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (Anthony Michael Hall) about their history with women, with Trump constantly working in statements that would incriminate him today (adultery, tax fraud, etc). They ask Kennedy about the family business of politics, and Trump expresses his strong belief that politics today is for losers and nerds, “except for Bill. Honestly, President seems more like his wife’s thing. She's great though. Not a bad word. Except that chicks can't be President.”

“Is It Time To Take Out My Johnson?”:
From the people who brought you Dick in a Box comes the new product “Johnson in a Box.” Borrowing both the Dick in a Box tune and “Sorry” by Justin Bieber (sing the title to the chorus), Chris Rock and Andy Samberg advertise getting out of tough situations with your girl, with your friends, and in the office by “taking out your Johnson” – that is, opening the old dick-level box, but now Dwayne Johnson’s talking head is in there, smoothing out any difficult situation with his sweet talk. Situations are resolved between an unemployed man and his frustrated girlfriend (Adam Sandler, Amy Poehler), a guy who owes money to his friend (Dana Carvey and Anthony Michael Hall), and a woman about to be fired by her boss (Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the first woman with a Johnson, Ellen Cleghorne).

Musical Performance #2:

Ariana Grande, “Break Free”

Goodnights

[Leo]

All first round match-ups posted. Please vote by 8 p.m. Sunday. Feel free to post sample shows in your match-up thread. It's suggested for fun, but required. Cheers to Eco and Solly for going that extra step. Below is everyone who didn't drafted, 44 names.


Peter Aykroyd
Morwenna Banks
Jim Belushi
Beth Cahill
Paul Brittain
George Coe
Tom Davis
Denny Dillon
Jim Downey
Robin Duke
Christine Ebersole
Siobhan Fallon
Gilbert Gottfried
Brad Hall
Rich Hall
Yvonne Hudson
Melanie Hutsell
Gary Kroeger
Matthew Laurance
Gail Matthius
Laurie Metcalf
John Milhiser
Jerry Minor
Brian Doyle Murray
Laraine Newman
Mike O'Brien
Michael O'Donoghue
Randy Quaid
Jeff Richards
Ann Risley
Tim Robinson
Charles Rocket
Tony Rosato
Jon Rudnitsky
Tom Schiller
Jenny Slate
Danitra Vance
Dan Vitale
Michaela Watkins
Patrick Weathers
Noël Wells
Brooks Wheelan
Fred Wolf
Alan Zweibel

[Chris Eco]

Do we have a default rule as a board for voting on your own matchup? My impression is that it's usually vote-in-everything unless we say otherwise, but I know sometimes self-voting is auto-DQ, and other times you get penalized for not voting in every matchup.

Also, I was so close to taking Jenny Slate over Anthony Michael Hall at the end.

[Leo]

No voting rules. Vote for yourself. No penalty for not voting in all match-ups. Voting in all match-ups is of course encouraged and those who weren't in the draft can vote if they wish.

[Leo]

Round 1 is over. Round 2 will run from 8 p.m. Monday to 8 p.m. Wednesday, est. Wild card was a tie between Liz and Mayhem with five votes each from their respective match-ups. I got Shark to break the tie and he picked Liz. For the seedings, I and Sportsguy were tied at 7 votes. He won the coin flip for the higher seed. Smitty and Deadly had six votes and Smitty won the coin toss for the higher seed. Seedings were coin flip, because it wasn’t about advancing. Winners of round 2 matchup will face off in a triple threat final. Anyone on the boards can vote. No voting penalties, meaning you don’t have to vote if you don’t want to and you can vote for yourself. Sample shows are encouraged, but not required. I will probably post another sample show for myself, because I have ideas. You can either send me sample shows or post yourself when your match-up thread goes up. Eco was the top seed with 8 votes.

Second round match-ups will be:
Eco vs. Liz
Sportsguy vs. Deadly
Leo vs. Smitty

[Sportsguy]

Holy shit I won!

Holy SHIT! I BEAT HODGEY AT SOMETHING! FINALLY!!!!!

[Leo]

Sportsguy and Deadly were tied at 5. I went to Dash for the tie breaker and he chose Dead in what he said was a close decision. Finals are:

Eco vs. deadly vs Smitty

I'll probably post around 5 pm tomorrow before I leave work and let run until 8 pm Sunday. Any ties in the final will be broken by accumulative vote total for all rounds.