[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#865)
Live! From Salem, Oregon
June 13, 2018

Intercontinental Title Match - Mac Flasher & BRICK~! banned from ringside!
Bridget O'Malley vs. Zed

Triple Threat Match
Beer Money vs. Banned From Everywhere vs. Saints of Sinners

Jack Bullet vs. Shannon Mann
Kylie Mignolio & Firewoman vs. Stank & Mai Muyo
Ghosthead vs. Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox
Mac Flasher vs. Duck Beaver the Masked Game Warden



Card subject to Oregon mellowing our anger. Does Bing Bong have a branch store here?

[Jack Quinn]

<cut to the Destroyitarium where Sizzle is being interviewed by 13>

S: This week Sizzle no need New Orleans Saints of Sinners to make match with Head of Ghost! Sizzle go to bookerman Roberts and tell him I WANT GHOST! Sha-na-non Mann, Sizzle is going to beat husband until Sha-na-non Mann see that Sizzle is sexiest manbeef in OOWF!

Head of Ghost........this is personal! Sizzle will show New Orleans Saints of Sinners what happens when he run the outfit! Sizzle will leave Head of Ghost in middle of ring, crying for mama-san! Head of Ghost WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN MANBEEF RUN WILD ON YOU!!!!

<Sizzle flexes and we fade to black, only to pick up a feed from another room, where Eco has all the faces assembled and seems to be in rally mode>

Eco: You know, they say I am doing the best job as former CEO, the best. Some people will say I'm not, but that is fake news. It is, it really is. No one in the history of former CEO's has been a better former CEO than I have, not one, you can look it up.....

Mac: GET TO THE POINT

Eco: I know, I know, you are excited to hear my words up here, but let me tell you, there is one person who wants to make the OOWF great again (MTOGA) and that is NOT the Saints of Sinners! That is NOT Zed! and that is CERTAINLY NOT Mai Muyo! All of them should be under criminal investigation! LOCK THEM UP! LOCK THEM UP! LOCK THEM UP!

<crickets>

Eco: Tonight, I showed my true colors, I took more abuse from the heels than any face in history, also a fact, look it up. Through sweat, tears and Kylie's blood I was right there! Right there like the leader I am!

<Eco paused for a moment and looks out at Fire, Mac, Bridget, Chad, Zane, Kylie, Justin, Bill and Ellie May>

Eco: I'll shoot straight with you. I need this. I need the OOWF. I need Fire's help, but I also need all of your help. Look, I know I have not been perfect, I have numerous faults, but under my leadership the insanity was always controlled, if for no other reason than because I had people like you to reign me in. What happens if the Saints win? What would happen to this place if they took over? Who would keep them in check? Who wants to spend the rest of their career fighting Moosehead Jack, the man is like a cockroach, he will. not. die. I can't fight them on my own, I need your help. Please.

<the rest of the crowd seems to visibly soften, and are at least considering Eco's words except for Chad and Zane - now joined by Bridgette. Eco notices>

Eco: Chad, Zane, Bridgette, I know we haven't always been on the same page, but I need you too......

Zane: You know what Juni? This is not what we signed up for. My contract is to wrestle, not periodically take part in gang wars. This is not what the OOWF is supposed to be about.

Bridgette: Shug......consider this our notice

Eco: WHAT?

Chad: Once you get this all straightened out, give us a call......or don't.

Eco: You won't be able to work! We have no compete clauses!

Chad: You know what? Maybe I don't want to work. I have been here for over ten years and haven't had time off since the time we came back after unmasking. Not once. Maybe I am going to go home with Zane and Bridgette and run our wrestling school. Either way, we are gone.

<Chad, Zane and Bridgette walk out of the room and the camera pans back to Eco, who has a pained look on his face, and we fade to black>

[Sportsguy]

We cut to the OOWF World Tag Team Champions Matt Folz and Stan Fulton LAUGHING~! as they see Eco's promo.

Matt: Let me see if I got this right. Eco's first official shots in this war were: gifting us a win tonight, still doing jack shit to help Kylie, then giving an unconvincing speech to the 'faces' and THEN driving away the only team that had a chance- a very very slim chance mind you but a chance none the less- of taking these Championships away from us. Is that accurate?

Stan: Yep. He's making this almost too easy for us.

Matt: He really is.

The Champs meet up with Matt's wife and start to walk out of the arena when they run into Mai Muyo.

Jaime: Hey girl.

Matt: Hey kiddo.

Stan: Mai.

Mai: Stan. Matt. Hey Jaime.

Matt: You can admit it...

Mai: Admit what?

Matt: It was fun teaming together again.

Mai: A bit.

Matt: And the 3 of us haven't teamed together since, when?

Mai and Stan simultaneously: War Games

Matt: Wow, I think that's right.

Stan (Smiles): Remind me Mai, who was it who tapped that night?

Mai (also smiling): I'm not sure, I think it was one of the 3 of us right?

Stan (Smiles): It....it couldn't have been the Self described Best Wrestler In This Company, could it? That would be impossible.

Matt (Rolling eyes): Yeah yeah yeah. You two are hilarious, Danny cheated but whatever.

Stan, Jaime and Mai all laugh.

Jaime: You need to let things go babe.

Matt: Oh, I'm over it. But he did cheat... we clearly agreed no outside interference.

Jaime: Fine fine. Mai, these two fine 'gentlemen' are taking me to dinner....care to join us?

Mai: Sure.

Matt: Not pressuring you for a decision Mai, but you do have to admit this feels right. All of us hanging out again.

Mai: I haven't made up my mind about joining the Saints, let's just have dinner for now.

FADE

[snelson66]

FADE in on the restaurant where Matt and Jamie Folz, Mai Muyo and Stan Fulton are. They have a table in a private area where they’re not disturbed, but not a private room (they’re not the Darlings after all). Matt and Jamie are sharing their food (and it’s as disturbing as you’d imagine).

MM: “Thanks for inviting me along.”

SF: “You’re always welcome, meimei.”

Mai pauses.

MM: “Am I really like a little sister to you, Stan?”

SF: “You are. One that can stand up for herself, but yeah.”

MM: “Nothing more?”

SF: “What are you getting at?”

MM: “We’ve spent a lot of time together. Traveling and the like. Alone.”

SF: “Mai....”

Mai smiles.

MM: “Gotcha.”

Fulton laughs.

SF: “You’re incorrigible.”

MM: “Perhaps, Stan. Perhaps.”

Fulton sighs.

SF: “I’ve missed this.”

MM: “What?”

SF: “The time spent outside the ring with friends. Being able to do dinners like this. Even all that windshield time between events. I spent a lot of time alone these last few years. It sharpened my mind, but it was lonely.”

MM: “Loneliness is a bitch, alright.”

Fulton and Mai pick up their water glasses and clink them together. Matt and Jamie hear the noise and stop staring into each other’s eyes, throat, noses... whatever.

JF: “What are you toasting?”

MM: “Matt’s ability to keep your marriage going without you sticking a butter knife up his ass.”

JF: (said with a devious smile) “Who said I haven’t?”

SF & MM: “Ewwwwwww.”

MF: “Knock it off.”

SF: “Sure. Let’s talk about War Games.”

MF: “Fuck you, Stan.”

SF: “Pass. But thanks for the offer. You could beg Jamie again.”

Folz rolls his eyes.

MF: “I’m outnumbered here, aren’t I?”

MM: “Most likely.”

Fulton and Mai clink glasses again.

JF: “Be nice.”

SF: “Jamie, we’re always nice. Except in the ring.”

MF: “Then we’re very not nice.”

SF: “Very.”

MM: “Very.”

FADE

[snelson66]

FADE back in, this time on a local brew pub. Jamie has dragged (drug?) Matt off to fulfil his husbandly duties (try to sleep with that image in your head tonight). Mai and Fulton are at a table in the back nursing their drinks.

MM: “So that’s how Moosehead Jack becomes President of the United States.”

SF: “Huh. Never connected all that.”

MM: “So you see why I’m hesitant about joining the Saints.”

SF: “Mai, let me ask you a question. Do you really think that Canada invades the United States?”

MM: “Well, the chances are low, I’ll give you that.”

SF: “Then Moose doesn’t become President. You don’t have to worry there.”

MM: “There are other reasons you know.”

SF: “I know. Your brother for one.”

MM: “I don’t know what to do. I do like working with you and Matt.”

SF: “You know Matt likes you. And you know I think the world of you.”

MM: “I know, Stan. And I do appreciate all of that.”

SF: “Like I’ve said before, I’ll never push you into anything. This is your decision. Let’s change the subject.”

MM: “To what?”

SF: “Uh... well...”

MM: “Yeah... um...”

SF: “Seriously? We’re two intelligent individuals and we cannot come up with a conversation starter?”

MM: “How ‘bout this: did you see the Kia recalls?”

SF: “I did. Scary stuff. Airbags not opening. But those are all older cars. My Sportage, thankfully, is a 2017.”

The conversation drifts off into volcanos and other news items as we

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene replays a PHWF house show in Oregon City, Oregon as DUCK BEAVER the MASKED GAME WARDEN has just completed a victory over the JAIL BLAZER when “Hero” by Nickelback interrupts DUCK’s celebration. BRICK~! and ZED emerge to a less-than-welcome reply from fans in attendance. As DUCK is wary of the two, ZED gestures that he and BRICK~! are not out there to jump him, but to discuss matters with him. DUCK lets down his guard*

BRICK~!: “Duck Beaver. Kind of a clever name, when you think about it. But we’re not here to start a civil war. You see, Zed and I want to discuss business with you in a civil manner. Are you up to chat business, Mr. Beaver.”

*DUCK looks around to seek crowd approval, but goes against the response and nods up and down, causing a wry smile to creep across ZED’s face*

B~!: “See. I knew you were smarter than almost everyone in Oregon. Mr. Beaver, we saw the opportunity that you have on Wednesday. You face the fraudulent OOWF World Champion Mac Flasher …”

*the crowd interrupts BRICK~! with wild applause*

B~! (sighing): “… Yes. I’m aware that he’s popular among those with lower intelligence. But you’re a smart man, Duck. We watched how you handled Jail Blazer. You might be the best wrestler to come out of Oregon since Ken Patera or Billy Jack Haynes.”

*a mild pop comes from the crowd and DUCK nods up and down*

B~!: “But Zed and I know that your value can be boosted with a high-profile opportunity like what’s on your plate. A champion in OOWF. You can make some big noise in a company that everyone in that locker room is killing to be a part of. Do you understand?”

*DUCK nods up and down*

ZED (grabbing the mic from BRICK~!): “What BRICK~! is getting at is this. I don’t give a damn if you win or lose on Wednesday. I’m going to be the one to take that World Title off of him, anyway. We’re not even asking you to soften him up. Hell, if you beat him down, he’ll just use that as an excuse when I do beat him. What I want is this. Embarrass him. Humble him. If you break something, break something. Knock his smug ass down a peg. Actually, the hell with it. Just make sure that he exits Salem in a wheelchair … Or a stretcher. Whatever.”

*DUCK looks at ZED with an expression of intrigue while BRICK~! applauds ZED’s audible*

Z: “And BRICK~! has one more thing for you.”

*ZED tosses the mic back to BRICK~! as BRICK~! produces an OOWF duffle bag, stuffed to the seams with something. BRICK~! opens it to reveal, ahem, bricks of $20 bills*

B~!: “Just so we’re clear. This is the advance payment. Your payment in full comes after you do the work on Wednesday.”

*DUCK’s eyes pop at the duffle bag, but he motions for the microphone as ZED and BRICK~! nod in optimistic approval*

DUCK: “DUCK BEAVER CAN BE BOUGHT BY NO MAN, NOR A BRICK!”

*the fans cheer for a man they were booing just minutes ago when he was battling in the ring as ZED and BRICK~! look at each other*

DB: “WHILE I COULD NOT CARE ANY LESS ABOUT THESE FANS, I CARE GREATLY ABOUT MY HONOR! WHAT I DO TO MAC FLASHER ON WEDNESDAY WILL BE MY …”

*before DUCK can finish, ZED boots DUCK in the stomach and clubs him down with forearms. ZED continues the beatdown, positioning DUCK in ‘Another BRICK~! in the Wall’ as DUCK furiously taps the canvas. With ZED pulling back as far as he can, BRICK~! shouts insults while the timekeeper rings the bell. As BRICK~! puts the boots to DUCK, MAC FLASHER storms to the ring and delivers a lariat to ZED while BRICK~! scrambles out of danger. MAC and ZED exchange blows as DUCK starts to stir. Just as ZED gets an advantage on MAC, DUCK hits a missile dropkick on ZED to send him tumbling out of the ring. BRICK~! and ZED exit the area with BRICK~! sliding in to grab the duffle bag before the duo disappears in the back*

MAC (picking up the microphone): “Duck. You made the right choice. See you on Wednesday.”

*as MAC goes to raise DUCK’s arm, DUCK shoves MAC away and exits, but not before flipping off MAC. A perplexed MAC tries to figure out why as the feed cuts to advertisements for MidWeek Mayhem and house shows during the week in Oregon*

[Jack Quinn]

<later that night Mai, Matt, Jamie and Stan come back to the Destroyitarium. As they come in, Moose greets them, then pulls Mai aside>

MHJ: We should talk

Mai: <looking at him suspiciously> .......ok

<they head up to the top of the roof and stand looking over the town as they are wont to do>

MHJ: You don't trust me

Mai: Well.......given our past......

MHJ: But you forgive blood

Mai: It is hard to turn away family

MHJ: I get that. Believe me. But what hurts more is when family turns away from you

Mai: <sighing> yeah, you're right

MHJ: You're a christian

Mai: Well, I was, I'm not so sure anymore

MHJ: Of course you are, but how many times are you going to turn the other cheek, blood or not?

Mai: Is this where you tell me I am making a deal with the devil?

MHJ: Nope. Let me just ask you this; why have you sided with us?

Mai: Well, it's nice to hang out with Stan, Jamie and Matt again......

MHJ: Is that your only reason?

<Mai just looks down>

MHJ: Could it be that you want what's best for the OOWF?

<Mai nods>

MHJ: And you know your brother is not what's best for the OOWF

<Mai looks down, Moose gently lifts her chin so she is looking at him>

MHJ: Sometimes doing what's right, means not doing what's easiest.

Mai: <looking out over the city> I love my brother.......nothing can change that......but every time he gets any kind of power he.......even with the meds, he just loses it. I don't know if he can go through it again. I feel like......like I have to side with you to try and save him, does that make sense?

MHJ: <smiling> perfect sense. Look Mai, you don't have to join the Saints, Zed didn't. We are happy to have you as an associate, if you decide you want in.......we can always deal with that if the time comes.

MAio: <looking at Moose strangely> You're weird

MHJ: <laughing> thanks?

MAi: No, everyone thinks you are just this horrible monster......

MHJ: And I am

Mai: But every now and then, you make sense. But there's always a method to your madness, so why are you being so nice to me?

MHJ: Because I understand what it's like to be disappointed by blood.

<Mai smiles and nods and the two of them return to the silence of the night as we fade>

[L!zz~]

SFJ Pi is with Kylie.

Pi: Kylie, we haven't seen much of you around lately. Is everything ok?

Kylie: (nods) I have had to deal with a few personal matters, and unfortunately, Josie came down with a very bad virus. So we've been keeping a low profile.

Pi: Oh, how is my tiny bestie? Why didn't you call?

Kylie: I didn't want to risk spreading the virus around.

Pi: I understand. How is everything else?

Kylie: Status quo. I'm still finding my ground since being back but I have a plan.

Pi: Care to share it?

Kylie: You know I can't do that.

Pi: True. Where is Josie now?

Kylie: She's with Jack.

Pi: Moose or Bullet?

Kylie: (laughs) Bullet. He's amazing with her.

Pi: Well, I hope we see more of you around. What say we go grab some coffee?

Kylie: I'd like that.

(We fade as the two walk off)

[Leo]

Jack Bullet sits next to Josie's bedside. She sleeps while clutching her Ellsworth the Eagle stuffed plush. He's reading "John Wayne: The Life and Legend." Kylie walks in and Jack closes his book. They speak low as to not wake Josie.

KM: I grabbed coffee with Pi. I hope you don't mind.

JB: Not at all. Our little angle has been sleeping most of the time you've been gone. I think she's on the other side of this, just at the point where you need to sleep a lot to recharge your batteries.

KM: I know how important it is for us OOWF talent to be in the public eye, so I appreciate you taking a step back with me to care for Josie during this time.

JB: Not at all. I think pulling back was good for me to. I was getting too wrapped up in everything going on between Moose and Eco with Danny Taylor trying to position me somewhere in the middle, I kind of forgot I don't have a dog in that fight and shouldn't have. What I care about most now, and should, is you and Josie.

KM: I appreciate everything you've done for Josie, but I've told you many times I can take care of myself.

JB: I know that, but the Saints seem to be eyeing you and the tag match this week, it's weird. And my facing Shannon Mann, out of the blue, I don't like it. It all seems like the Saints trying some sort of odd end around. They're juking left when we expect them to zig right.

KM: Firewoman and I are on good terms. Stank won't step out of line because of her. Mai anymore...I just don't know.

JB: Outside of the wrestling ring, I live my life three ways. I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them. And, now, I'm extending that to you and Josie. In that ring, that's you. Outside of it, the world better leave you and Josie alone or the world will have fight on its hands it doesn't want.

KM: Jack, we're so blessed to have you.

Kylie moves in and hugs Jack. He looks over her head as if starting at something in the far distance, in contemplation. FADE

[blownspot]

Firewoman walks into catering where she hears Stank yukking it up with MAI MUYO~! Stank has his back to Fire as Mai who is facing Firewoman scowls at the sight of her and rises to her feet. Stank furrows his brow in confusion then looks back over his shoulder at his fiance'.

Stank - aw shit.

MM - I'm leaving.

Stank - That's probably for the best.

As Fire approaches Mai turns and walks away. Once Firewoman arrives she scowls down at Stank who remains seated.

FW - What were you and your girlfriend talking about?

Stank - She's NOT my GIRLfriend! Relax! You don't see me getting all bent out shape whenever you talk to ... John Ross!

FW - That's exactly what you do.

Stank - SO?!! It's still not the same. I've never had a thing for Mai.

FW - I never had a thing for John Ross.

Stank - YES you did.

FW - SO?!! Have you seen his abs?

Stank - Have you seen MY ab?

FW - Yes. I'm particularly fond of the way it protrudes out past your waistline.

Stank - I've invested many gallons of beer in that ab, so ... recognize.

FW - Oh it's hard not to.

Stank - What are we talking about here?

FW - I don't know!

Stank - ...

FW - Why are you wearing that?

Stank - You mean my Washington Caps 2018 Stanley Cup Champions breakaway jersey?

FW - I didn't know you followed hockey?

Stank - There's a lot about me you don't know.

FW - Why the Capitals?

Stank - They're my team.

FW - You're from Atlanta.

Stank - Georgia doesn't have a team.

FW - Why not the Tampa Bay Lightning? They're closer to Atlanta than DC.

Stank - I don't like Tampa Bay, or anything in Tampa Bay.

FW -

Stank - It's a long story.

FW - Okay what about the Panthers?

Stank - That's a football team.

FW - No. The Florida Panthers. They are a NHL Hockey Team.

Stank - They are?

FW - Yes. They're based in Miami.

Stank - Let me amend my previous statement then. I don't like Florida, or anything in Florida.

FW - Even Disneyworld?

Stank - Especially Disneyworld.

FW - Who the hell doesn't like Disneyworld?

Stank - It's a long story.

FW - Okay what about the Hurricanes?

Stank - I'm not particularly fond of the hurricanes down there either.

FW - No. The Carolina Hurricanes.

Stank - I don't like hurricanes period.

FW - No, you dummy, The NHL hockey team ... Carolina Hurricanes.

Stank - Look The Caps are my team, okay?

FW - Don't tell me you're one of those fair-weather fans.

Stank - No.

FW - Because, if that's the case, you can fair weather your way onto being a fan of the Columbus Blue Jackets after we get married.

Stank - Columbus Blue Jackets? Aren't you from Michigan?

FW - I hate the Red Wings.

Stank - But-

FW - AND the Penguins, AND the Blackhawks, AND the Maple Leafs before you even ask.

Stank - ... ... But I've seen you wearing a Red Wings jersey?

FW - It was a gift ... and I like the way it looks.

Stank - What are we talking about here?

FW - I don't know!

Stank - ...

FW - Oh yeah I remember ... how you've been CHEATING on me with Mai!

Stank - Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I HAVEN'T been CHEATING on you with Mai anymore than you have been CHEATING on ME with Juni!

FW - What? EW!

Stank - EXACTLY!

FW - I thought you understood that Ecosystem is what's best for business?

Stank - I don't understand that at all! I UNDERSTAND that you think so and I UNDERSTAND if I want to maintain a mostly happy relationship with you I won't get in your way ... a VERY difficult venture, by the way, when management KEEPS PUTTING ME ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE RING WITH YOU AT EVERY SHOW!

FW - Hey! I'm management!

Stank - You don't say?

FW - But I don't book the matches, babe.

Stank - Don't call me, babe.

FW - You know you like it.

Stank - ... Fine. I do.

FW - Well the solution to the problem of you being at odds with me is a simple one. Quit the Saints.

Stank - That ain't no solution.

FW - It would solve a lot.

Stank - It would solve nothing. But you could always ... you know ... join the Saints like you promised.

FW - I DID NOT PROMISE!

Stank - You agreed to the stipulations of the match.

FW - What was that about maintaining a 'mostly happy relationship' with me?

Stank - Fine. I'm dropping it.

FW - Why don't you just get your GIRLFRIEND to join?!!

Stank - Oh for the LOVE of - Is THAT what you want woman, huh? You want me to start dating Mai?

FW - Looked like you were already dating Mai when I walked in.

Firewoman proceeds to mockingly laugh in an exaggerated guffaw.

Stank - Is that supposed to be me you're imitating? That's how I sound to you?

Firewoman continues and adds a goofy face along with the laugh as she bounces her clasped hands over her belly.

Stank - Oh that's me, huh? Okay, Okay ... well then this is you.

Stank rises from his seat and speaks in a high-pitched, sing songy, voice ... at least as high-pitched as one with a voice as deep as his can manage.

Stank - Hi I'm Firewoman. I like my coffee fu fu.

FW - I don't sound like that!

Stank continues mocking fire in the sing songy voice.

Stank - I like motorcyclllles AND the Columbus Blue Jackeeeets AND John Ross Ewing! Oh my! Have you seen his abs! I do declare I get the vapors every time I see them! Hmmm MMM SO delicious looking they are I tell you!

Firewoman returns the mocking with some of her own as she launches into as deep a voice as she can muster.

FW - Well I'm Stank. And don't know how to imitate my fiance' without making her sound like a cartoon southern belle. Maybe that's because I'm so distracted by my love for Mai Muyo.

Stank holds up his hand pretending like he is speaking on a phone.

Stank - Hello? ... Oh Hi JR! ... My voice? Oh you know this is how I speak when I am talking to you. I can't help but fall into that ol southern drawl I know you love so much.

FW - I do NOT do THAT!

Stank - Yes you do! Everybody hears it!

FW - Name ONE other person!

Stank - You! Barista! You KNOW what I'm talking about!

The barista standing behind Bautista's stand timidly nods his head in the affirmative.

Stank - Ha!

FW - You're fired Tony.

Tony - What? But I work for Batista?

FW - Then I'm revoking his contract unless he fires you.

Dave Bautista suddenly steps into frame from out of nowhere.

Stank - How long have you been standing there?

DB - You can't see me.

Stank - You think you're John Cena or something?

DB - I've mastered the art of standing so perfectly still that I appear invisible.

Stank - I'm looking at you now, nimrod.

DB - Can Tony see me?

Tony - Yes?

DB - Good. You're fired.

FW - THANK you!

Tony - What? Why?

DB - How many times have I told you not to use my WWE name?

Tony - It ... it doesn't sound any different!

DB - There's a clear difference.

Tony - ...

DB - And also I need this contract.

*FADE*

[Jack Quinn]

<Time passes and an irritated Stank walks into the Destroyitarium with Tony. We see Moose, Mai, Matt, Stan and 13 all sitting there>

MHJ: Who's this?

Sta: This is Tony

MHJ: ok......

Sta: <to Tony> Can you tend bar?

Tony: Ummm.....no?

Sta: Well you can learn

MF: Don't we have Father Lou?

Sta: He can't work Sundays

SF: What about 13?

Sta: She's busy, right?

13: Sure

Sta: <looking at Tony> So do you want the job or not?

Tony: But.....didn't Fire say.....

Sta: Are you going to let her talk to you like that?

Tony: She......she already did!

Sta: She just THINKS she did!

Tony: I am pretty sure she fired me.....

Sta: Well now I am hiring you, she doesn't hire help here in the DestroyiTonyum

MHJ: Did you just say DestroyiTonyum?

Sta: Is that a problem?

MHJ: <shaking his head> nope

Sta: GOOD!

<Stank storms off mumbling something about the stubbornness of Fire and slams the door to his suite>

Mai: So......Tony......wanna learn how to make a banana daiquiri?

Tony: I.........guess?

<fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*DUCK BEAVER the MASKED GAME WARDEN is walking through the Hallway of Random Encounters when she is randomly encountered by BRIDGET O’MALLEY. An INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA just happens to be there*

BRIDGET: “You have some fucking nerve!”

DUCK: “You want to explain, or rephrase?”

BO’M: “Mac Flasher saves your ass from Zed and BRICK~!, and you just brush him off and flip him off.”

DB: “So … You’re chiding me for having OOWF people jump into my business. All I was there to do in Oregon City was beat Jail Blazer. Your traveling circus stuck its nose in my business! I entertained Zed and BRICK~!’s offer, but I declined. Then what happens? Zed gets all butthurt that I wasn’t playing to his tune, so he attacks me. Then Mac charges in like a white knight to save me. Where was he during the 2 minutes that Zed was beating me down? I had to suffer in that hold for 2 minutes just so Mac could get his hero’s welcome for saving me when he felt that the moment was right. Where were you, O’Malley? Why was it Mac that had to save me? You’re the one facing Zed on Wednesday.”

BO’M: “My match with Zed is none of your business. And Mac was only in the building to grant a wish to a terminally ill child.”

DB: “So, he abandons that child in a place like Oregon City to fight off Zed and get a few cheers? And my dealings in wrestling are none of your concern, unless I decide to make it yours. Then again, you have issues with keeping your nose out of the business of others. Both in and out of the ring.”

BO’M: “Again with that old chestnut. Look, Mac is the reason that you can walk. If anything, a simple thank you would have gone a long way.”

DB: “And he can thank me after my mercy allows him to walk out of Salem after I beat him.”

BO’M: “You understand that you’re talking about the OOWF World Champion?”

DB: “He’s been pinned before. I’ll just add myself to that list.”

*DUCK shoves his way past BRIDGET as MAC FLASHER comes down a corridor unaware of the exchange between BRIDGET and DUCK*

BO’M: “What a dick.”

MAC: “Come again.”

BO’M: “That JV wrestler you’re facing on Wednesday. Just destroy him. Like you should have let Zed do a couple nights ago.”

MF: “O… K…?”

*BRIDGET and MAC continue their conversation as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in her office, staring at the wall. Stank comes in, a bit carefully since their last conversation wasn't so great.

S: Look, Fire, I wanna say....

He notices her staring at the wall, and so he stares for a bit at the same spot. He looks between her and the wall a few times.

S: Are you okay?

FW: Maybe it's a sign....

S: What, the wall?

FW: No, it's all blank.

S: ....you lost me.

FW: Exactly.

S: What?

FW: Mai joining the Saints. Being your tag team partner. Maybe your life partner.

S: Fire....I am NOT interested in Mai in that way.

FW: Oh, I know you aren't.

S: THANK you.

FW: Not now anyway.

S: Not EVER.

FW: Hm...you say that now, and I believe you...but then she'll get a locker room off the Destroyitarium...you guys will train together for tag team stuff....all that physicality....

S: Fire....*he takes her hands in his and turns her chin so she's facing him and not the wall*...this could all be solved if YOU moved in and YOU were my tag team partner.....

FW: I....I just can't. And before you ask I can't explain why right now, I just need you to trust me.

S: ....do you mean that in the way you and Moose usually mean that?

FW: No...I mean, yes...maybe...how do we usually mean that?

S: I know we disagree on this, and that's okay.

FW: Is it?

S: Not really. I hope you'll come to your senses eventually.

FW: Nice.

S: Truth.

FW: ...

S: ...

FW: Well, don't think I'm taking it easy on your partner--

S: I'd be surprised if you did.

FW: --or you.

S: I'd be pissed if you did.

FW: And I'm only flirting with John Ross so I can get what I want.

S: Juni as CEO.

FW: ....yes.

S: And then what?

FW: And then.....I'll have what I want.

S: You confuse the hell out of me.

FW: Isn't that part of the fun?

S: Are you done moping at the wall? I want ice cream.

FW: YES!!

Fire practically jumps up and into Stank's arms.

S: Okay, okay....geez....if I knew that was all it takes to cheer you up--

FW: Well, it's a good start.

FAAAAAADE

[Sportsguy]

We fade back in to the Continuing Wacky Adventures of Matt, Jaime, Stan and Mai. We see the four leaving a movie theater and Jaime and Mai are glaring at Stan and Matt.

Matt: We are allowed to have a difference of opinion.

Mai: (Glaring)

Jaime: (Glaring)

Matt: It has NOTHING do with being a 98 percent female cast. Hell I love the cast. Bullock, Blanchett and Hathaway are all Oscar winners and deservedly so. Hell in a just world Hathaway would have two already...

Stan: I thought Sarah Paulson was great too.

Matt: She was, she ALWAYS is. I wish they'd given her more than the Scott Caan/Casey Affleck role but I digress.

Stan: But there were MASSIVE plot holes. I don't think it makes us sexist to say that.

Matt: It shouldn't. Look, I think we liked parts of this movie. Killing off NAMEDROP was a bold choice, but they NEVER MENTIONED WHAT (He/She) DIED FROM!!

Stan: And the parts with them planning the robbery were great, but the actual heist itself was...... underwhelming to say the least.

Matt: And the last half hour of the movie fell apart faster than an NFC North defense in the last two NFC Championship Games.

Stan opens his mouth to protest and then sighs and sadly nods.

Matt: The point is movies are sometimes disappointing. This is one of them. It has nothing to do with it being a mostly female cast, it just should have been better that's all.

Mai: (Glares)

Jaime: (Glares then shakes her head) MEN!

Jaime and Mai quickly start walking towards the restaurant across the street, leaving their companions behind.

Matt: Good idea babe, get a table for us, we're right behind you.

Matt and Stan shrug at one another.

Matt: I can't tell if they're being serious or just screwing with us... and that's fucking infuriating.

Stan: I believe that's their intention.

Matt: Yeah.

Stan: What was the second?

Matt: What?

Stan: You said in a fair and just world Anne Hathaway would have two Oscars, what else should she have won for?

Matt: For her performance in Rachel Getting Married. She was outright robbed by a vastly inferior Kate Winslet performance.

Stan: Oh. You know we should probably promo about our match.

Matt: I guess. What a joke this is. Easily the best tag team going in this industry right now against 4 drunks. Is this really the best Juni can come up with to put against us?

Stan: It might be. And that's why he's already lost this war before it's even begun. There's no one on his side who can match up with us. You and I against Moose and Stank would be a fair fight. You and I against Mai and Zed would be a fair fight, but those matches won't ever happen. Anyone else? They can't keep up with us.

Matt: Well said partner.

Matt and Stan walk off to catch up with their compatriots as we......FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Justin Sane wanders the halls of the Salem Arena, looking for someone. Finally, he finds Firewoman near the entry way, staring at the cardboard cut out of Mai Muyo that is poised to greet tonight's attendees at Midweek Mayhem. Justin hesitates for a minute, and then walks up.

JS: *ahem*

FW: *still staring* Yes, Justin?

JS: Boss Lady, can I have five bucks?

FW: *looking at him blankly* Am I still your boss lady?

JS: Well, as you're still engaged to Boss Stank I guess so.

Justin holds out his hand. Fire sees in the other hand he already has some fives.

FW: You already have some fives.

JS: Well, yeah, but I need five more to score a KFC $20 Fill Up.

FW: For you and who?

JS: Just me.

Fire looks at him and then gets out a five, but hesitates.

FW: *suspiciously* Where did those other fives come from?

JS: *counting them out*....Eco....Stank...Lucky.

FW: What for?

JS: They all wanted to know what kind of mood you were in, since you've been a bit...fluid, lately.

FW: They all said that?

JS: More or less.

Fire looks at him. She walks over to where there is, for some reason, a rubber garbage can full of light tubes. She calmly picks one up, walks calmly over to the cardboard cut out and uses the light tube as a baseball bat. The tube shatters and Cardboard Mai goes flying. Fire walks over to it and takes out her Zippo lighter and sets it on fire. As it's burning she picks it up and takes it over to a coincidentally-placed galvanized steel can and places it in there. She takes it out front where some fans are waiting to get glimpses of wrestlers.

FW: Hey, you guys want your picture taken with Mai Muyo?

Young Fan: YES!!!!

FW: Here ya go.

Fire thrusts the can in front of her. The children recoil in horror as Mai's cutout burns in front of them, and Fire goes back inside to Justin.

FW: That answer your question?

JS: I...think?.....no, not really.

FW: Well, too bad.

Fire gives him the five bucks, and he adds it to his other fifteen, and walks away musing about extra crispy chicken. Fire looks at the children crying outside and for a moment looks almost regretful.

FW: *to no one in particular* It's for a good cause...Mai will understand.....

FAAAAAAADE

[Fire-Babe]

OOC: Sorry forgot a piece...

As Fire walks away she comes to the Stank cardboard cut out, which she looks at, and smiles.

FW: You'll understand too. Soon.

FAAAAAAAAAADE

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#865)
Live! From Salem, Oregon
June 13, 2018

MAC FLASHER vs. DUCK BEAVER, THE MASKED GAME WARDEN

With Duck Beaver the Masked Game Warden standing in the ring, “I Get Wet” bursts through the speakers as Mac Flasher holds his OOWF World Championship above his head. Mac glad-hands the fans along the aisle as Duck glares at the champion. Mac climbs into the ring as Duck walks right up to Mac and points at the championship draped over Mac’s shoulder. Mac shrugs and grins as he tries to doff his Pirates cap. Duck turns Mac around and slaps him across the face and points at the championship again.

Mac’s grin, now having vanished, is a look of indignation. Duck tries to slap Mac again only for Mac to catch the right hand of the masked man. Just as Mac rears back to slug Duck, referee “Junior” Hale steps in between the two. Duck begins to shout insults toward Mac as Mac leans through the ropes and requests Mike Elevenbee’s presence. Mac tells Mike a quick message that pops Mike’s eyes as Hale continues to hold Duck back.

Russ: “What did Mac Flasher tell Mike Elevenbee?”
Razz: “Judging by Mike’s reaction, it was something that not even Mike was expecting to hear.”

As Mike confers with Hale, Hale nods indifferently and waits for Mike to make an announcement.

Mike: “Ladies and gentleman. At the request of Mac Flasher, tonight’s match is for the OOWF WOOOOOORRRRLLLLLLDDD CHAMPIONSHIP!”

A loud pop fills the arena as Duck nods approvingly while Mac takes off his hooded sweatshirt.

Russ: “WHAT! NO WAY! TONIGHT IN SALEM?”
Razz: “He can’t do that! He doesn’t have the authority? What next? He’ll ask to defend it 24/7 like the Ironman Championship? Why would ‘Junior’ Hale sign off on this? Where’s Danny Taylor to talk some sense into Mac?”
Russ: “I think the last thing Danny Taylor would do is talk some sense into Mac.”
Razz: “Why do you say that? Are you saying that Mac has … Oh. Wait. I get it now.”

Hale signals for the bell as Duck runs in with a series of fists and downs Mac with a standing dropkick.

Russ: “He calls that the Webfooter, and he connected square on Mac’s jaw.”
Razz: “He might call that the beginning of a new duck dynasty.”

With Duck celebrating his offense, he fails to see Mac spring up, check his jaw and wait for Duck to turn. Duck turns unknowingly and eats a lariat that almost takes his mask off. Mac grabs Duck by the mask and whips him into the corner, following with a Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood Trolley corner splash. Duck falls forward onto his face as Mac signals for a Clemente Bridge Suplex. Mac gets 2 as Duck shoots a shoulder up. Undeterred Mac stands Duck up and whips him into the ropes before catching him on the way back with a spinning heel kick. Mac stands Duck up and again and cradles him in position for a package DDT. That gets 2 as Mac pulls Duck up and shakes his head from side to side.

Russ: “Kind of a dick move by Mac Flasher just now.”
Razz: “What? The pull-up of a defeated man or the theft of Zed’s finisher?”
Russ: “Actually, both.”

Mac wastes little time in planting Duck’s head into the canvas with a Flash Drive, getting the academic 3 from Hale.

Your winner (pinfall, 4:49) and STILL OOWF WORLD CHAMPION, Mac Flasher!

Mac looks down toward Duck and offers a hand down to help him to his feet. Duck stands up groggily on his own power and shoves Mac into Hale, who has to hold Mac back from escalating the situation more. The defiant – but still woozy – Duck then gets his comeuppance when he tangles himself in the ropes on his way out. Mac chuckles at Duck on his way through the same ropes as he makes his way to the back.

SHIZURIU-MUME MAGUNIKU-COX vs. GHOSTHEAD

"Party Boy Anthem" plays Shizuru-mune Mangyūniku down to the ring. The crowd gives the extreme underdog a nice pop as he warms up in the corner. "Divide The Hate" plays Ghosthead to the ring and he seems to be ignoring the crowd as his eyes are locked intensely on Sizzle. He gets in the ring, his eyes never leaving Sizzle, and the referee calls for the bell.

Sizzle tries to be aggressive, running right up to Ghost and sending a message by slapping him hard across the face. Ghost's response is a right hand that knocks Sizzle right on his ass. The referee admonishes Ghost for the closed fist. Ghost nods, gently moves the referee to the side and charges forward with a lariat that sends Sizzle flying over the top rope.

Russ: Well Sizzle certainly has Ghosthead's attention, whether that's a good thing or not is another question.

Razz: This could get ugly quick.

Ghost quickly rolls out of the ring and sends Sizzle's head into the ring steps and then into the post, opening up a cut on Sizzle's head. Ghost rolls Sizzle into the ring and then whips him into the corner, following up with a big splash and then a back elbow. Ghost proceeds to beat the absolute shit out of Sizzle for the next few minutes. Release German Suplex, Gutwrench Powerbomb, Backdrop Suplex, and a huge Spinebuster. Sizzle is bleeding profusely now. Ghost picks Sizzle up and holds him in a suplex position for 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 15 Seconds before absolutely destroying Sizzle with a delayed brainbuster. Ghost picks Sizzle up for a slam but Sizzle rolls him into an inside cradle. 1...2...Sizzle grabs a big handful of tights...3.

Winner (Pinfall, 6:20) Shizuru-mune Mangyūniku

Russ: Unbelievable, Sizzle pulls the upset 2 weeks in a row.

Ghost gets up looking PISSED, but Sizzle has rolled out of the ring and starting limping to the back.

KYLIE MIGNOLIO & FIREWOMAN vs. STANK & MAI MUYO

DING!!! DING!!!

Stank and Fire are starting off their respective teams; Both leave their corners and circle the ring trying to get the upper hand upon one another. They step into the center of the ring and lock up in the traditional collar and elbow. It ends with Fire scoring a Side Headlock wrenching down the head of Stank who stands his ground. He slips his head out while taking the right arm behind his opponent applying the Hammerlock. Stank then spins in front of her to whip her into the ropes. Off the rebound, a strong Dropkick knocks her down!

As Fire lands down onto the canvas, she gets back up to suffer elbow blows into her chin. Backing up all the way into an unoccupied corner, she gets thrown into the opposing one where her back gets stuck to the turnbuckles. Stank charges into her; A strong Corner Lariat sits her down in the corner. This presents a great window to run into the corner behind him, rebound and come back to fluster a Corner Knee Strike with that right knee plowing through her head.

Razz: Stank utilizes every part of the ring as much as he can to score more damage in getting the victory. Here he is with the first pin attempt!”

ONE

.

.

TW–

No! Fire won’t be going out that easy so she goes into the mount position to produce a flurry of elbows into him. Upon getting up, he also helps Fire back up to her feet and keeps her bent over from a Spinning Back Kick into the ribs. Having her in that groggy position, Stank runs to the ropes ahead of her, rebounds before getting lifted up on the canvas for a Back Suplex until transitioning that into a Backbreaker. He just rolls off Fire’ right knee then down onto the canvas.

Russ: ”Back Suplex Backbreaker! Yeah Stank you’re not the only one who can do Backbreakers you bitch!”

Mai isn’t too impressed and Kylie shares the same resentment for Fire who drags Stank back to his feet. She throws him into the ropes then delivers a sick Clothesline that knocks her opponent onto her back. Stank tries to fight but a vicious Punt Kick into his ribs nearly shatters them. He gets dragged up back to his feet and run to the ropes. Fire tries to toss him over the top rope but Stank lands on his feet on the apron.

Russ: ”Fire, you dumbass! Turn around!”

She does in fact turn around and goes into a barbaric charge but Stank clocks her in the head with a Gamengiri which forces him back into the center of the ring. Stank leaps onto the top rope then Springboards into the air before taking her down with a Springboard Lariat! Both are down on the canvas and Stank is back up again; He walks over to his corner to Mai but stops mid-way. He thinks he can handle this on his own until turning into Fire Spearing him down into the canvas!

Razz: ”Vicious Spear by Fire! Stank was going for the tag but had second thoughts and it cost him the momentum of the match! Wait! Kylie tagged herself in!”

Indeed she did. She slapped her hand on Fire back tagging herself in and the referee orders Fire on the apron. As Stank tries to get back up, he gets spiked down on the canvas by a Snap DDT from Mignolio. It doesn’t end there; Kylie helps him back up to his feet, throws him into the corner where he charges in and destroys his chest with a Stiff Corner Lariat. Finally, she hugs Stank and throws him back into the center of the ring from the Snap Belly to Belly Suplex!

Razz: ”My God! From a Snap DDT to a Corner Lariat into a Snap Belly to Belly Suplex! Kylie Mignolio is showing us what we forgot about her and here is the pin attempt!”

ONE

.

.

TWO

Stank kicks out of the pin attempt until he is transformed into the Single Leg Boston Crab. He’s on his chest while Kylie sits down on his back pulling back with the right leg in her grasp. Stank shakes his head; Stretching his right hand out at the ropes while Mai leans in on the action yelling at Stank to man up. He starts dragging their weight over to the ropes and Kylie can’t believe he still has the strength to keep fighting.

Russ: ”Tap Stank! Tap out you son of a bitch! You can’t exactly be able to escape this! It’s over!”

Kylie drags him back into the center of the ring. Stank turns over on his back to kick her off which he does successfully. However, his opponent runs back into him where Stank throws a front kick but its caught. Kylie throws the leg away letting Stank gain velocity on the spin to bounce his foot off her head from the Tornado Kick! Landing down on that right leg, he drops to his knee to recover while Kylie is on the mat dazed from that kick to the head. Against his better judgment, Stank leaps across the canvas and tags in Mai!

Russ: ”Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

Mai climbs up all the way to the top turnbuckle then leaps off to Kylie for the Diving Hurricanrana! She flips her down all the way to the mat then gets back up as she rolls forward to her feet. She turns around and suffers back to back Knife Edge Chops pushing into an unoccupied corner. A Short-Arm Clothesline pushes her out from the corner into the center of the ring and the audience watches her put her down once again in the center of the ring from a Fisherman Neckbreaker!

Razz: ”Fisherman Neckbreaker! Mai is proving to be a huge part in the turnover of momentum! The pin attempt is made again!”

ONE

.

.

TWO

.

.

THR–

No! Fire breaks up the hold and yells at Kylie to get back in this match. Stank enters into the ring and blindsides Fire with a Yakuza Kick kicking her out of the ring. With Fire at ringside and still on her feet, Stank charges to the ropes behind him, rebounds and dives through the bottom and middle rope to Spear Fire in the chest and into the barricade. As Kylie is getting up on her right knee, a Running Bicycle Kick from Mai strikes her down in the head!

Russ: Mai is ready to end it and what is Stank doing?! He’s offering a tag and he’s willing to work?! I guess he’s finally fucking realizing that ending Kylie Mignolio for the win is more important!”

Mai is stalking Kylie's every move until she sees Stank get up on the apron offering for a tag. He’s yelling at her to tag him in so they can end Kylie together. She moves to tag him in, her grasp on Kylie loosening. Kylie breaks free and jumps across the ring, dragging Mai with her. Tagging Fire in. Fire flies into the ring. Kylie and Fire, whip Mai across the ropes, as she bounces back they double clothes line her! Mai stumbles. Kylie moves out of the ring as Fire scoops Mai up, slamming her down, she hooks the leg.


ONE

.

.

TWO

.

.

THREE!!!

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!
WINNERS in 24:18 – Firewoman & Kylie Mignolio

Fire and Kylie immediately roll out of the ring, and Stank and Fire share a bit of a glare. Stank turns around and faces Mai and they go nose to nose arguing. Moose, Stan and Folz all hit the ring and try to break it up. They all face Stank and talk to her, then turn and get in Mai’s face. Soon enough punches are thrown and Mai is quickly down on the mat. The crowd cheers as Ecosystem races to the ring with a piece of rebar and clears the ring of the Saints. Eco stands over Mai and dares any of them to get into the ring. Moose climbs onto the apron and Eco walks toward him threatening him menacingly. As he is doing this, Mai slowly gets to her feet and the crowd roars for her. Eco turns around and sees his sister standing there, she smiles at him and Eco moves in for the big hug of familial reunion, but Mai NAILS him with a spinning heel kick that catches Eco right in the temple and sends him to the mat. As Eco hits the mat, he looks up at his sister with a look of shocked betrayal, and then the Saints, except for Moose, are back into the ring and beat the shit out of Eco.

The crowd pops again as Fire hits the ring to save Eco, but as she slides into the ring, Moose grabs her leg slowing her momentum. Moose calls out for Folz, and he pounces on Fire, dropping a knee across the back of her neck. Folz rolls her over into a sort of camel clutch and keeps Fire on the mat, forcing her to watch what happens next.

The Saints pull Eco to his feet and Moose steps into the ring with HDB and stands in front of Eco and pushes the bat up under his chin so Eco sees him. Mai walks over to Moose and Moose puts his arm around her, and hands her HDB. Moose takes a step back as Mai BURIES it in his gut doubling him over. Eco drops to his knees, but cannot go anywhere since Stank and Fulton are holding him in place. Mai moves behind him and repeatedly rakes the barbed wire across his forehead drawing a sickening amount of blood. Moose has a mic

What we have here, is a failure to communicate. Now Juni, I thought I made myself PERFECTLY clear when I said you being a referee automatically nullified my suspension, but SOMEHOW <looking over at Fire> my suspension continues to be upheld until you grow some balls and get back into this ring with me. So, this is what’s going to happen. I may not be allowed to touch you, but the rest of the Saints can. Mai can. Zed can if he so chooses. So what is going to happen is that each and every week we are going to find you, and we are going to beat you into a bloody pulp. I hope there’s no problem with this, I mean, remember, all you have to do is reinstate yourself and meet me one on one in the middle of this ring. Right Mai?

Moose spreads his arms in a Christ-pose and Mai drops to her knees in front of him – facing her brother so she looks Eco right in the eyes…..

Mai: Trust me

The Saints finish Eco off when Stank hits a STANK BOMB and Fulton follows with a DROP LINE! The Saints leave the ring and Fire rushes over to Eco to make sure he is ok, then turns around and glares at the Saints as they head up the ramp to the back.

SHANNON MANN vs. JACK BULLET

Back and forth match here. Bullet has the power, Shannon has the speed. Bullet keeps Shannon down and works the legs and nearly gets a submission using the figure four, but Shannon manages to claw her way to the ropes to force the break, using one of her rope breaks. Shannon mounts a comeback and gets several near falls on Bullet as well. The end comes when Shannon goes for the Way of the Zodiac, but Bullet rolls out of the way. Shannon lands on her feet, Bullet gets up and spins and tries the Talon, but Shannon catches him, spins him to the mat in the middle of the ring and traps him in the Key Lock! (Misery Lock?) Bullet desperately tries to get to the ropes, but is trapped in the middle of the ring! He decides not NOT have his arm broken today, so he taps out!
WINNER in 13:28 – Shannon Mann

BEER MONEY vs. BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. SAINTS OF SINNERS

This one is mostly a wild brawl for the whole match. Everyone winds up bleeding and seven (SEVEN!) ringside tables are destroyed. Our apologies to the Kurdish, Tongan, Mongolian, Belgian, Paraguayan, Chilean and Sentinelese announce teams. The end comes when Folz and Justin are in the ring. Everyone else is brawling at ringside. Justin tries a cross body block, but Matt catches him, hefts him onto his shoulders and hits an Angle Slam! Folz covers, but the referee is outside the ring trying to stop Stan from murdering SYB! Folz yells and slams the mat, just then, a masked man hops the guardrail, grabs a chair and slides into the ring and brings the chair down across Folz’ back! Folz is dazed! The masked man flips Matt over and drags Justin on top of him, then beats a hasty retreat. The referee finally gets back into the ring, sees the pin and counts the one, two, THREE!
WINNERS in 17:11 – Banned From Everywhere

BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. ZED – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match – Mac Flasher & BRICK~! are Banned From the Building

Bridget comes out like a house of fire and attacks Zed as soon as the bell rings. Zed tries to beat a hasty retreat from the ring, but Bridget grabs him by the tights and pulls him back in, into an atomic drop that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Bridget follows him out and beats him from pillar to post. Bridget rolls Zed back into the ring and covers, but Zed kicks out. Most of the match sees Zed on defense, perhaps a little off balance without BRICK~! at ringside. The match turns when Bridget charges at Zed, and he catches her, and guillotines her on the top rope. Zed goes for the throat, literally, choking Bridget until the referee threatens disqualification and Bridget is left gasping for air. Zed nearly puts her away, but the crowd is firmly behind Bridget and they stomp and cheer for her. Zed’s frustration in not keeping Bridget down becomes more pronounces the more Bridget fights back.

Finally Bridget is back to her feet and she backs Zed into the corner with chops and kicks. Zed grabs Bridget and pulls her in and the referee comes in trying for a clean break. As he worms his way between them, Zed throws a straight right to Bridget’s jaw that sends her to the mat, and at the same time he knees the referee right in the groin! The referee goes down and rolls out of the ring to the floor! Zed waits for Bridget to get to her feet, then POPS her with a superkick! Zed grabs her and goes for the Moment of Zed, but Bridget breaks free and turns it into an Alabama Slam into the corner! Zed’s head bounces off the turnbuckle and he staggers out of the corner, Bridget hits the O’Mallet! Zed goes down, Bridget covers, another referee runs from the back, one…….two……THREE!
WINNER in 33:44 and NEW Intercontinental Champion – Bridget O’Malley

The crowd ERUPTS as the referee hands her the title. Bridget climbs to the middle ropes and shows the belt off to the crowd and the cheers get louder. But wait, the original referee is back in the ring, and he takes the title back from Bridget and hands it to Zed, then raises Bridget’s arm. Bridget, and the entire crowd are stunned, what is going on? The ring announcer clues us in

Original referee Davis Hightower has informed us that Zed has been disqualified for an illegal strike to the referee’s family jewels. Therefore, the winner of the match, via DISQUALIFICATION in 33:44 is Bridget O’Malley, however, Zed retains the intercontinental championship!

The crowd is ENRAGED. Zed collapses on the mat and lies there with the IC title, laughing at the whole thing, while Bridget argues her case. The fans start throwing litter into the ring, but Zed remains lying there getting covered with trash. Bridget finally gives up and leaves and Zed slowly gets to his feet and grabs a mic while trash still flies into the ring.

I’ve always known the people of Salem, Oregon were trash, and tonight you proved my point to perfection. You see, I don’t care about you, you, you, you…..or hell, any of you. The myth of “go home happy” is just that when I am your main event. You see, your tears motivate me, your boos give me the energy to beat whoever the hell it is you idiots cheer <boos rain down>. And let me tell you one more thing……..

Zed has no chance to finish as the Masked Man is back! He slips into the ring behind Zed and grabs him and hits a PERFECT release German Suplex dropping Zed on the back of his neck. The Masked Man quickly grabs him again, pulls him up and hits a TIGER DRIVER! Zed is OUT! The Masked Man grabs the IC title and drapes it across Zed’s unconscious body, then slides out of the ring and disappears into the crowd as the Saints and Mai hit the ring. Folz glares in the Masked Man’s direction as we fade to black.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Mid-Summer Night’s Scream 10 PPV Live, July 29, LIVE! from Toronto, Ontario Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! June, 20th live! from Olympia, Washington!

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