[Jack Quinn]

MidWeek Mayhem (#868)
Live! From Vancouver, British Columbia
July 4, 2018

One Hour Iron Man Steel Cage Match
Beer Money vs. Banned From Everywhere

Mai Muyo vs. Mac Flasher
Zed vs. Kylie Mignolio
Bridget O'Malley vs. Stank
Alexander Darling vs. Stan Fulton
Alexis Darling vs. Matt Folz
Jack Bullet & Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox vs. Ghosthead & Shannon Mann


card subject to Yakuza interference, thanks Fire!

[Sportsguy]

OOC: Triad interference? DDP maybe, but I don't think we're getting Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow without a seance.

[Jack Quinn]

***OOC***

Oops, wrong Asian gang. Knowing Fire, she has probably pissed off the Triad (the gang, and DDP) at some point as well

[Sportsguy]

Ah dammit, ruined my joke.

[Fire-Babe]

OOC: Smites for both of you for getting my hopes up that these were promos.

Firewoman sits in medical, her hand wrapped in ice, and elevated. She's apparently in a lot of pain, as she talks through gritted teeth.

Stank: You are apparently in a lot of pain.

FW: It's fine.

S: Shouldn't you let them give you something?

FW: With my family history? No thanks. It'll be okay.

S: Stubborn woman.

Fire engages in some deep breathing, and it seems to help, as she's gritting her teeth less.

FW: Sizzle?

S: Not quite dead yet.

FW: Good. I guess he's really a Saint now, then. Congratulations for taking the sweetest person to come through this promotion in a long time and turning him into a psychopath.

Stank starts to retort, but the doctor comes in.

Doc: Well, the good news is your hand is repairable.

S: Thank goodness.

FW: The bad news?

Doc: Well, it will require surgery.

FW: But--

S: Could she just rest it for a while, keep it wrapped and iced?

Doc: That may have been possible right after she punched the wall, but now?

The doctor holds up the Xray for Stank and Fire to see.

FW: Is that...my hand?

Doc: Yep. And this doesn't show tendon and nerve damage that might be there. For that we'll need an MRI and we don't have that here.

FW: Well I'll be sure to get one ordered. How much could they cost?

Doc: Between $150,000 and $400,000.

FW: Oh.

Doc: Or more.

FW: Oh....well--

S: I just want to make sure that she understands correctly...she is OFF the card for the foreseeable future.

FW: But-!

Doc: Oh yes...after the surgery there will be physical therapy.

FW: Lucas!

S: Thank you, doc. We'll get everything squared away.

Doc: No problem. *He goes to leave.* Oh wait, you'll want to hang on to this.

The doctor hands Stank Fire's engagement ring.

S: Why is the band cut?

Doc: Couldn't get it off. Swelling.

The Doctor leaves. Fire looks at the ring and at Stank, and her eyes begin to well up a bit.

S: Okay, do NOT read anything into this. I will get the band fixed and then once you're on the mend, it'll go right back on.

Fire starts to answer, when Ecosystem comes in.

Eco: FIRE~! I just heard....now you're on injury leave just like me!

FW: NO!

Fire picks up the tray with the water cup and pitcher and flings it at him. Of course it's with the injured hand.

FW: Ow.

S: Lisa!

FW: Juni, you are NOT hurt. I'm going to suggest very strongly that you be returned to action next week--

Eco: But Moose--

FW: Danny will put a no contact order on, just like the other one Moose has. You'll be fine. Or you'll have to face him and PROVE that you are every bit the talented wrestler that he is.

Eco: You....really think I can be that?

FW: *cradling her hand* Do I ever say things I don't mean? Juni, I can't carry the banner for this right now. YOU. HAVE. TO. DO. IT.

Eco looks at her and Stank. Stank glares at him so he looks back at Fire.

FW: It's YOUR company, Juni. Who else could it be?

Ecosystem slowly nods. Fire goes back to gritting her teeth.

Eco: Pain?

Fire nods.

S: Yeah, but she's too stubborn to--

Eco: Doc?! Get this woman some pain management!

The doctor comes in.

Doc: And just who are you, sir?

Eco: *getting in his face* I am the once and future owner of this company, now get her some pain meds, or the first thing I do when I have my company back is fire your ass.

Doc: Oh...yes sir!

The doctor hurries away.

Eco: I could fly you to the best surgical center on the planet.

FW: Uh, no, we've been there done that.

Eco nods as the doctor comes back in.

FW: No needles.

Doc: I remember. Here.

He holds out two white pills which Fire takes.

Eco: Okay, you go get better. Take care of her, Lucas.

Ecosystem walks out, seemingly with new purpose.

S: So, HE gets you pain medication and you take it?

FW: Don't be jealous, Lucas, he doesn't play for that ... team.....

Fire drifts off to sleep as the pain medication takes effect.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox walks into the Destroyitarium and 13 hardly recognizes him. His face is painted white, and he is wearing a long black trench coat. Underneath, he is still wearing the bloody wrestling gear he had on last night>

13: Sizzle........how are you feeling?

S: From now on, I will be called Shizuru. Sizzlechest Manbeef is child I left behind for my bride Shannon.

13: Ummm, I think Ghost might have something to say about that

S: Shizuru no longer worried about Ghost. Saints of Sinners show Shizuru if you want something, you take it. Shannon is now mine, my bride, my love. If Ghost wants her back, he must take her from me

13: But you left her in that creepy room......

S: <grinning> Ghost has physical Shannon, Shizuru has Shannon's heart, come take it back Ghost

<Shizuru downs his drink and gets up and walks away. As he leaves Moose comes out of the back with a fresh bottle of "Trust Me" and sits down>

13: Notice anything different about Shizuru?

MHJ: Who?

13: Sizzle, he wants to be called Shizuru from now on

MHJ: Oh. Yeah, he's lost his damn mind. Ghost is going to literally kill him

13: Think we are to blame for this?

MHJ: No. Eco is. He sent him to us, it's not our fault he turned out this way. As Folz has said, his blood is on Eco's hands, not ours.

13: Do you think what your sister said will convince Juni to come back?

MHJ: No. Juni is a coward who talks a big game, but does exactly jack shit to back it up, it's why no one takes him seriously anymore.

13: Still considering the attack?

MHJ: Yep, all depends on what he does next.

<Moose takes a long drink and we fade to black>

[Sportsguy]

OOC: Fine then, I'll promo. Stop smiting me.

We fade in to Firewoman's hospital room when she hears a knock.

Fire: Come in.

The door opens and Matt Folz steps in.

Matt: Wanted to make sure you were awake.

Fire (Glaring): What do you want?

Matt: First of all "Congratulations for taking the sweetest person to come through this promotion in a long time and turning him into a psychopath." (Matt shakes his head) That's not what we did at all. We didn't invite Shizuru to join us, Eco sent him into the lion's den, I figured it out and gave Eco a chance to stop it. So yeah, this probably ends with Ghost literally skinning him alive, but the blood's on Eco's hands not ours.

Fire: Keep telling yourself that all you want.

Matt: Now, she doesn't need me to defend her- far from it- but I don't think Mai was trying to put you on the shelf. And she's not trying to steal Stank away from you. At least I hope not, Jaime and I bought you a wedding present a week after you got engaged and neither one of us have any use for it. But Mai was trying to get in your head a bit.

Fire: You look rather pleased at that.

Matt: I'm not going to lie, I am. Hell that's a side of her I tried to get out of her for YEARS when we were training together. But inadvertently Mai did do you a favor.

Fire: Excuse me?

Matt: You should take advantage of this layoff. Get out of town, go home to New Orleans and see what new songs the ghost band have learned. Stay away from this company until you get medically cleared.

Fire: Why in the world would I do that?

Matt: Because you don't want to have one of the last acts of a Hall of Fame career to be you on the losing side of a war. I saw your speech to Eco earlier, very inspiring. But you and I both know that in terms of in ring skill he can't match any of the Saints. In terms of mental manipulation or head games? Sure, I'll give him his credit there. But move for move after the bell rings? (Matt laughs) He's hopelessly outclassed and you know it. And outside of yourself, so is anyone he can recruit to go up against us. You and I aren't ever going to be friends, we both know that. But I'd hate to see your legacy stained by you being on the losing side of this upcoming war. So, take my advice..... cut bait with him.

Matt walks towards the door.

Matt: I've said my piece, I'll let you get some rest. Goodnight Fire.

FADE

[Fire-Babe]

Fire opens her eyes again, and sees Bridgette Myers there.

FW: Wheeeee, I'm hallucinating.

BM: No, sug, I am here to take you to San Antone.

FW: Why would I want to go there?

BM: Two reasons. One, they have the best surgeon for your hand, in residence, at University Hospital.

FW: Cooool...

BM: And while you're recovering, the boys want you to help training some prospects.

FW: Yeah?

BM: They both appreciate your skills.

FW: Even Zane?

BM: Even Zane. So let's get you in this wheelchair.

Stank comes in.

S: What's all this?

FW: I get to go see my cowboy!!!!

S: I don't think so.....

BM: Not that cowboy. Zane and Chad.

S: Oh...that's only marginally better.

FW: Luuuuuucas?

Fire is looking at both her good hand, and her bandaged hand.

BM: *whispering* Is she okay?

S: *whispering back* Pain meds...she never takes them so she's a bit of a light weight. *louder to Fire* Yes, dear?

FW: I had a crazy dream....I dreamed that I punched a wall with my right hand, but they had to cut my engagement ring off because of swelling, but that's on my left hand, but look, my right hand is the one bandaged?

S: No, that's what happened.

FW: But why did they cut it off?

S: Because you're ambidextrous.

FW: Huh?

S: Otherwise we have to rewrite the promo.

FW: Ooooooh.....and then Fatt Rolz came in and said stuff like I had gotten into his head or something.

S: Yeah, well....that sort of happened too....

FW: Oh, okay....Luuuuuucas......

S: Yes?

FW: Lucas OCTAVIUS Mann.....

BM: Octavius?

S: *eyeroll* Yes, dear?

FW: I gotta go get my hand fixed. Be good while I'm gone.

S: Of course, now put your arms around my neck so I can get you in the wheelchair.

Fire kind of does so, weakly, and it's a bit of a comedy of errors, but finally she gets situated and with a kiss from Stank, Bridgette wheels her away. Stank is watching her leave, when Juni comes up behind him.

Eco: Yeah, it's probably for the best.

S: *annoyed* How so?

Eco: Oh you know...all the...old embers, let's say, showing up after so long....don't want to risk a spark, ya know?

Stank turns and glares at Juni, then goozles him against the wall.

S: There's no rule saying I have to keep my hands off of you.

Eco: So? Do what thou will.

S: If I did that, then I'd have to explain to Firewoman why I have destroyed whatever her plan with you is, and while I may not get it, or even agree with it, I am NOT down with the idea of having that conversation. So you are safe from me...for now....

Stank releases Ecosystem, and stalks back to the Destroyitarium.

[Zed]

Zed stands in front of an OOWF banner, with BRICK~! looming over his shoulder. Zed is holding up a piece of paper.

Z: FINALLY. FINALLY, BRICK~!!

B: YES! Finally!

Z: At long last!

B: After all the struggle!

Z: Well, there wasn't much of that.

B: Wait, what are we talking about?

Z: We're talking about for the first time in more than two months, I will be in a match and NOT facing 37!

B: Wow, has it been that long?

Z: It has! And I feel like, over those two months, I proved time and time again that 37 is not ready for the big leagues. That she's here riding Mac's coattails. That she is simply a speedbump between me and erasing Mac Flasher from this federation's existence and putting the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship back in the hands of a true star. And it looks like, after every stipulation, mixed-tag match, and ruleset they could throw at me, the bookerman finally agrees.

B: You are pretty good.

Z: I am DAMN good, BRICK~!. Damn good. And if Kyle Mignolio didn't know that by now, she better figure it out before Wednesday. Because I don't care if it takes two minutes or two months, I'll toss her ass out of the way just like I did Bridget, and I won't be stopped until I have what I want.

B: I like it when you're angry.

Z: That makes two of us. And nobody else.

Fade.

[L!zz~]

(Kylie watches Zed's promo with SFJ 99)

99: Any response?

Kylie: Zed is right. Bridget isn't worried. She's good. Better than he wants to admit, but she's too cocky.

99: Is that Mac's fault?

Kylie: No it is her own.

99: You think you are a better match for Zed?

Kylie: I think, at this moment, no one is real match for Zed. He's angry. He's fired up. But I'm not Bridget. He shouldn't underestimate me based on my prior associations.

99: Do you think you'll walk out as champion?

Kylie: Maybe...maybe not...but I'm going to show Zed, and everyone else, who is acting like I'm some rookie, that I'm here to stay and I'll do whatever it takes to get to the top.

99: Thanks for your time Kylie

Kylie: You're welcome.

(we Fade as the women continue to chit chat about other matters)

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet sits in the OOWF commissary having a cup of coffee and breakfast. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he feels a stinging blow to the back of his head and hears the sound of something metallic bouncing off his skull. He jumps to his feet, grabbing the back of his head and spins to face Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox holding a severely dented metal lunch tray.

SM: I owe you that. I also owe you this.

Shizuru drops the tray and open palm slaps Bullet hard across the cheek, hard enough to make Jack turn his head.

SM: Where Kylie and Josie at? Maybe Shizuru slap them around too.

Jack Bullet comes around with a backhand slap that damn near takes Shizuru's head off.

JB: Anything between you and me is between you and me. I admit I had those shots coming from you, but those girls do not. You think you're all big and bad now, fine, but don't add stupid to the list. If you must know, it's Sunday morning, they're in church.

SM: Why not Great American in church. God, guts and glory made America free, right?

JB: Me and Jesus came to an understanding long ago and it includes me not having to go to church on Sundays and him not having to me watch me sleep in the pew while the minister rattles on. I also thought you and I came to an understanding as well.

SM: You maybe had understanding with Sizzlechest Manbeef, but not with Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox. Shizuru is no longer a child. He is a man. Man enough for Shannon Mann. Man enough for Kylie. More than man enough for Josie.

At that Bullet sucker punches Shizuru and then spins behind him into a choke hold. The two men sink to the floor slowly as Shizuru loses his air.

JB: If you ever lay a hand on that little girl remember one thing; I didn't choose to kill you, you chose that day to die.

Bullet lets go of Shizuru who slumps to the floor and Jack walks off.

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet approaches the entrance to the OOWF Gym just as Ghosthead and Shannon Mann walk out from their morning workout. Bullet gets up in both their faces.

JB: You need to end these games with Sizzlechest or I'll end it with all three of you.

SM: He's not Sizzlechest anymore. He's Shizuru. He really thinks he's something.

JB: And he thinks that because of the Saints. I heard what Matt Folz told Firewoman. 'Oh, the Saints didn't do anything. Eco sent him to us. Eco could have stopped all this.' Bullshit, the Saints manipulated and twisted something good into something awful like they always do. Any blood on Shizuru's hands is also on all of yours and I won't let any of you forget that.

Ghost: Why don't you focus on the tag match for Mayhem. The four of us in the ring again. You say this needs to end, then end it, before I decide the joke is far enough and we end both of you. The rest of the Saints have been saying for weeks "Oh, Ghost is going to Shizuru," "Ha -ha, can't wait for Ghost to kill Shizuru." Maybe that day is Wednesday and maybe you just become collateral damage to it all.

Ghost shoulder bumps Bullet as he blows past them and Shannon follows. Bullet stares after them with a steely, narrowed eyed gaze as we FADE.

[DrMcAwesome]

*BRICK~! is stepping away from OOWF Catering when he is confronted by BRIDGET O’MALLEY. OK, ‘confronted’ is the soft way of saying attacked with the intent of brutalizing. BRIDGET sends BRICK~! tumbling into a stack of pallets before locking him in a rear naked choke to get an immediate tapout from BRICK~!*

BRICK~!: “I submit! I submit! Ref! Where are you?”

*an OOWF OFFICIAL runs onto the scene*

WINNER BY SUBMISSION AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION, BRIDGET O'MALLEY!

*BRIDGET continues the choke until the OFFICIAL pries her hands loose before handing her the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal championship*

BRIDGET: “Not ready for the big leagues? Riding Mac’s coattails? Simply a speedbump? Yet you tapped like a bitch!”

B~!: *while gasping for air* “Zed said those things after proving those thoughts right for two months. Plus, I’m a manager. Fighting is not what I do.”

BO’M: “You didn’t exactly disagree with him. For a supposed super genius, you … Whaaaaaa …”

*BRIDGET is rolled up by a shadowy figure*

1 … 2 … 3! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION, MAC FLASHER?

*yup, it’s MAC*

BO’M: “MAC! What the fuck?”

MAC: “I need this. There’s a plan.”

BO’M: “Like you couldn’t have waited until someone beat me?”

MF: “No. There’s a plan.”

BO’M: “What plan?”

MF: “You wouldn’t understand until it happens. This only concerns me and one other person. When he finds out, so will the world.”

*MAC departs as BRIDGET and BRICK~! are confused by the exchange*

B~!: “Maybe you should find Bing-Bong and up his dosage of Yinzerbomb or whatever makes him less cryptic and doomy*

*BRIDGET shoves BRICK~! to the ground and rears back to add more to the beating before BRICK~! scrambles up and toddles away. BRIDGET considers giving chase, but instead stares down the path that MAC took as the scene fades*

[Chris Eco]

Mai Muyo is backstage, stretching in an Ocasio-Cortez shirt and wearing her PHWF N-Sanity Championship when Renata Younger approaches her.

Younger: Mai Muyo, you had a big win at the Alaskan Massacre, when you defeated--

Mai puts her hand up in Renata Younger's face.

Mai: First of all, your highlights are blinding me, can't even see where the microphone is. Here (Mai grabs a tarp), cover those things up. Cover that up. Talk to me when you're ready.

Mai turns around. Renata sighs and takes the tarp and puts it over her head, draping it around her body.

Renata: Okay Mai, I have some questions now--

Mai turns around.

Mai: Well, I have a question first, what are you doing wearing that nonsense? Are you trying to look like Hillbilly Jim dressed as a nun? Are you mocking my religious heritage? Take that nonsense off!

Renata: (taking the tarp off) Mai, you can't ask me to do opposite things at once--

Mai: That's exactly right, Renata. And that's what everyone wants from me. They want me t be the loving, sweet, wouldn't harm a fly and couldn't win a match Mai Muyo I was for a long time, and they also want me to be that killer instinct, cagematch, deathmatch monster, because the anti-hero is the only hero anyone cheers. They want me to fight the Saints, and they want me to be away from my brother. They want me to be the secure, stable Mai Muyo, and separate myself from the only man in this company who ever gave me that security, Matt Folz.

And Matt was right.

Matt: I've ALWAYS been a better friend to her than you've been a brother. You blame me Stan and Jaime for this? (Matt shakes his head) You need to look in a mirror. Now if you excuse me, I'm treating my friend Mai to a movie.

So when it comes to others' expectations . . . when it comes to all the marks online who say that Mai Muyo the Bad Guy is the worst story they've ever heard, the same marks who complained that I was a one-note vanilla-bland church lady with no character or personality . . . all I have to say, is that after seven long years, I have earned myself some me-time. I have earned myself some self-care. And whether it's beating someone bloody or catching Jurassic Park Number Seventy-Two, I have earned time with my real friends.

Renata: Did you try to put Firewoman out of action?

Mai blinks.

Renata: Her injury appears serious, and while Matt Folz states that it wasn't your intent--

Mai: That's what Matt said?

Renata: Yes, but clearly--

Mai: Well, then you have it.  Matt speaks for me, I speak for Matt, this interview is over, cover up those stupid highlights.  Do you have a tarp or something?

Mai walks off.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Cut to a house show in Colquitham, British Columbia. Matty Alouette defeats Ember Blackpool to get a standing ovation from the crowd. After the match Matty grabs the mic>

MA: It's good to be back here in Canada <huge pop>! Now, I know you are all wondering what the hell is going on in the PHWF. Seems like we are under new management, and Mr. Fulton has decided to take MY PHWF World Heavyweight title and hand it to Matt Folz. <crowd boos>. Matt, I have nothing but respect for you as a wrestler, but you know damn well that title wasn't earned. You claim to be a man of.......

<Allouette is interrupted when "the Crusade" plays and Shizuru comes out, black trench coat, white face paint, and flanked by two men in suits and sunglasses. Shizuru steps into the ring and takes the mic and the crowd boos him mercilessly>

S: I will allow you in my ring for one moment. First, no one cares about your title, the title is where it belongs, as all titles belong, with the Saints of Sinners. Second, allow me to introduce my associates Kazuo Nakashini and Masaru Takumi <the men stand still and stare at Alouette.> Finally, Mr. Allouette, you may go now

<Shizuru attacks Allouette and hits him with a BRUTAL PSYCHO DRIVER! Shuzuru pulls him out to the apron and hits another one off the apron to the floor, medical rushes from the back to check on Alouette. Shizuru steps back into the ring and adjusts his clothing and speaks again and the crowd boos louder>

S: No one disrespects Shizuru. Mr. Allouette thought he could share my ring, he disrespected Shizuru, and now Mr. Allouette may never walk again. Shizuru shares the ring with two other men this week who disrespect Shizuru by thinking they can be in MY ring. Jack Bullet, Shizuru doesn't need you. Shizuru can beat Ghosthead by himself, perhaps if you are lucky I will allow you to tag in and participate. As for you Mr. Mann.......you are beneath Shizuru, you are nothing. Shizuru show Shannon that he is all the man she will need, and you, well, perhaps you can find a ring rat to satisfy your lust.

As for my dear Shannon <Shizuru sighs wistfully> Shizuru remember dancing on our wedding night, Shannon showed her love for Shizuru, she knows what a real man is. Shannon darling, once Shizuru eliminates Ghost, we can be one, forever.

<Just then the crowd roars as Ghost storms the ring. Shizuru dives out of the ring while Kazuo and Masaru attack Ghost from behind. They get a few shots in and keep Ghost on the mat for a moment, but the rage of Ghost knows no bounds. He grabs them both and hits HORRORDRIVERS on both. Ghost stands in the ring and glares at Shizuru, who is halfway up the ramp smirking at Ghost. He turns and heads to the back and we fade to black>

[snelson66]

FADE in backstage at the PHWF house show. Standing in gorilla are the PHWF Tag Team Champions, Stank and The Crusher Stan Fulton. They’re getting ready to take on Jinx and Spazz, the Bay Bridge Boyz. Shizuru backs through the curtain, still staring at Ghosthead and bumps into Stank.

S: “Shiz. Nice look.”

Sh: “New Shizuru. New look.”

SF: “Shizuru, can I have a word with you?”

Sh: “Of course, Crusher-san.”

Fulton takes Shizuru over to the side after telling the producer to have the Bay Bridge Boyz go out first.

SF: “Listen, Shizuru. I like the new you. Very focused. Very much a Saints of Sinners look.”

Sh: “Arigato.”

SF: “But I cannot have you hurting my talent. See, I own the PHWF. If Alouette cannot wrestle tomorrow night in Ferndale, I lose money. I get the wanting to make a statement, but not at the expense of my talent.”

Sh: “I understand. Statement will be made in different ways. Ways that let jobbers wrestle next day.”

SF: “There ya go.”

Sh: “Will attack announcers and managers.”

SF: “No. No. No. No.”

Sh: “And then check next card and only attack those not on card. Glad we have this talk, Crusher-san.”

Shizuru walks away as Fulton rolls his eyes. Stank wanders over.

S: “So?”

SF: “Hope Juni is happy where this led.”

S: “Well he’ll just have to deal with the consequences.”

SF: “You better hope that when Shiz gets over his infatuation with your sister-in-law, he doesn’t turn his attention to your fiancée.”

S: “You shut your got-damn mouth.”

Fulton smiles as Nonpoint’s “Skin” begins to play and the Saints head out to defend their championships.

FADE

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet stands in the wings of a set wearing a comically tall Uncle Sam hat and American Flag tights. On the set, Ellsworth the Eagle has his feathers fluffed and Coat Rack Steven Richards is varnished. Dancing girls practice their routine in front of a large American flag. John Ross Ewing comes up to Bullet.

JRE: Okay, give us another five minutes and we should be ready to shoot this commercial to hype the Fourth of July edition of Mayhem.

JB: Why do I have to do this again?

JRE: C'mon, Jack, you're our most patriotic talent. You're a military veteran. You're a great American.

JB: That's what Sizzlechest...er, Shizuru, always called me. I don't know if I'm quite feeling that now, but I kind of miss him saying that.

JRE: Didn't you do some sort of big Independence Day spectacular last year with Evel Keneivel's kid and Tony Orlando or somebody.

JB: Brick set all that up. You know sometimes I miss having him around, despite how him and Zed screwed me over. You know, I had a host of friends around here at one point, John Ross, now it seems like Kylie and Josie are all I've got. And maybe I'm going to lose them too. Everyone around here has gotten so dark lately with this supposed war brewing. Mai, Shizuru, even me. Maybe especially me...

Bullet's voice trails off. He takes off the hat and lets it fall to the floor. He then kind of wanders off with his feet shuffling and eyes fixed on nothing.

JRE: Hey, Jack, get back here. We have to shoot this commercial...Ah, hell.

Ewing then yells to the crew, "okay, plan B, go find Paul Smackage."

FADE

[blownspot]

The Saints are sitting around a table in the Destroyitarium, laughing it up. We catch them mid conversation.

Stank - So I'm standing there thinking ... should I even tag in?

Everyone laughs

Stank - I mean is my presence even necessary at this point?

Laughter continues as Stan Fulton cuts in.

SF - To be fair ... you did have an opportunity to step in.

Stank - And do what? I mean I give you credit for holding your hand out for the tag, but by that point Jinx was lying in a pile of broken announce table while Spazz was tapping out ... and YOU didn't even HAVE him in a SUBMISSION HOLD??

SF - Maybe I squeezed his arm a little too hard when I dragged him back to our corner.

Everyone laughs.

SF - Okay so ... I'll definitely have to look into upping our competition next time.

S - As long as I get to start.

Everyone chuckles at this, but the laughs die down as the lights cut out.

MF - Okay who forgot to pay the bill?

Stank - I'll check the fuse box.

Before Stank rises to his feet however the lights cut back on where no one can help but notice that Kazuo Nakashini and Masaru Takumi are hanging by their wrists from the ceiling and close to the table. Both men are beaten and bloody. A phrase in Kanji is written in blood across both their bare chests.

Stank - Well this is dramatic

Shizuru turns around and slowly stands. He walks up close to Masaru to read what is written.

あなたの恋は盲目

JF - What's it say, Shiz?

Shizuru slowly turns around and faces the Saints sitting around the table.

SZ - It says love is bli-

Before Shizuru can finish, from the rafters, GHOSTHEAD drops between Shiz and the table and spits RED MIST in Shizuru's eyes! Shiz recoils and howls in pain, falling to his knees and using both his hands to cover his face while twisting left and right in agony.

Ghost - Baka wa shinakya naoranai!

Stank - RED!

Ghost ignores his brother and backflips over the table before anyone can grab him. He then backs his way out through the door as Shizuru continues to scream in pain with clawing motions at his eyes! Moose, nonplussed, leans back in his chair and lights a cigar. Mai steps over to Shiz and stoops down to try to settle him, as Jamie grabs a bottle of water and tries to gently pour some over Shizuru's eyes.

MF - I thought he wasn't doing that anymore?

Stank - The kid is going after his wife. All bets are off it would seem.

JF - What was it Ghost yelled before he left?

Stan and Mai both translate in unison.

SF/Mai - "The only cure for a fool is death."

MHJ - Hmmm. That's an old Japanese proverb, I believe. Badass.

Stank - Fucking great. Something else I'm going to have to answer for when Fire gets back.

MHJ - It's not like we didn't know your brother was going to kill him.

Stank - Well... I for one never thought he might ACTUALLY kill him.

Everyone looks at Stank like "really?"

Stank - What? Red may be a lot of things, but he's not a murderer.

MF - What if it was Fire that Shiz was after?

Stank - Well ... I AM a murderer, so ... it never would have gotten to this point.

JF - I'm pretty sure killing your dad while he was abusing your mom who was pregnant with your unborn sister doesn't count.

Stank - It was still a crime of passion.

SF - Yeah. *points to shiz* but this is clearly premeditated.

Stank - You got me there ... I'll talk to Red.

MHJ - It shouldn't be you talking to your brother. It should be Juni talking to Shiz.

Stank - What are the chances of that happening? I'm not going to let my brother go to prison over this shit.

MHJ - No one's suggesting you do. Just ... let it play out. If it starts to get out of hand ...

Stank/Stan/Mai/Matt/Jamie - IF IT STARTS???

Moose smirks.

MHJ - Okay. Any FURTHER out of hand, happy? Then by all means, Lucas jump in and stop your brother from actually murdering Shiz.

MF - Good luck with that. If it were Jamie I doubt anyone could stop me.

Shizuru starts to settle down while his screaming decreases to mere whimpers. Mai and Jamie help him to his feet while he continues to rub at his eyes. Jamie smacks Shizuru hands away from his face.

JF - Stop it! You're only making it worse.

Mai - We'll walk him to medical.

MF - AH, ah, ah, Let Stan and I do that.

SF - Why?

Matt leans over toward Stan and speaks just under his breath.

MF - I don't want to take a chance on how appreciative Shiz will be by my wife's kind gesture. You know what I mean?

SF - Got you.

Stan and Matt stand up and take over from Mai and Jamie as they walk Shiz out the door. Stank takes a swig of his beer as Jamie and Mai watch them go before returning to their seats by the table and minding their drinks. Moose continues to puff away at his cigar as they all sit in silence for several minutes before a small, weak, voice speaks up, breaking the silence.

Kazuo Nakashini - _{^{Could someone please cut us down? Thank you.}}

*Fade*

[L!zz~]

(Kylie and Josie find Jack still looking rather down. Josie runs to him and gives him a big hug)

Jack: (picks her up, can't help but smile) Hey little lady.

Kylie: (smiles at them) Commercial finished already?

Jack: I didn't do it.

Kylie: What? Why not! You were perfect for it.

Jack: I'm not feeling it.

Kylie: (looks him over) You ok? You look sad..

Josie: (slings an arm around his neck) Don't be sad Uncle Jack.

Jack: (looks at her than Kylie, his eyebrow raising)

Kylie: (sheepishly) She asked. I was going to speak to you about it...if you're uncomfortable...

Jack: (gives Josie a little bounce) It's fine....let's go get ice cream.

(Josie squeals in delight)

Kylie: You spoil her (as she heads out with him and Josie)

Jack: It's hot and humid. Ice cream always tastes best in bad weather.

Kylie: don't think I'm letting this go. I want to know what's wrong.

Jack: Later.

(Kylie nods as Josie begins to tell Jack about her day)

[DrMcAwesome]

*MAC FLASHER can be seen by the INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA walking with purpose to The Destroyitarium while carrying his DDT Ironman Heavy Metal championship when he approaches MOOSEHEAD JACK sitting at the bar with an empty bottle of ‘Trust Me’ and a bottle of the same that has yet to be opened. MAC swipes the empty off the bar, causing it to shatter on the floor as MOOSE looks toward MAC* 

MOOSE: “May I help you?”

*MAC pulls out his iPhone X and plays a video*

Jul 4, 2016 13:25:12 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

<Flasher reaches for the doorknob, then stops and turns around and looks at Moose, who is sitting behind a table under a single bare light bulb holding Happy Deth Bat......

Moose snarls and jumps to his feet knocking the chair over, he takes one step onto the table and LAUNCHES himself at Flasher, Flasher snarls and SPEARS Moose in mid air! They crash to the ground and Flasher grabs Moose by the hair and hammers him with punches to the head. Jack reaches up and rakes Flasher's eyes and shoves him to the floor. Moose is quickly to his feet and connects with a kick to Flasher's jaw that has him seeing stars. Jack pulls Flasher to his feet and slams him face first into the wall, and grabs him around the waist for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but Flasher fights it, then whips his head back catching Jack right in the face. Moose staggers backward, blood pouring from his nose. Flasher charges at Moose, but Moose takes him to the floor with a drop toe hold, Moose pounces on Flasher and tries to drag his face across the razor wire on HDB, but Flasher fights it with all he has. He reaches up and grabs a handful of Moose's hair and flips him over. Flasher gets to his feet and grabs the overturned chair and SMASHES it across Jack's back as he stands up! Moose drops to his knees and Flasher grabs him from behind and locks in a REAR NAKED CHOKE! Moose is in trouble! The referee is right there to see if Moose taps. Jack tries to reach Flasher's eyes, but to no avail. Finally, as he is starting to fade, Moose reaches into his boot and pulls out the scalpel and JAMS it into Flasher's thigh! Flasher howls in pain and releases the hold. Moose crawls away on his hands and knees, while Flasher grabs his leg in pain and uses the table to pull himself up. As he stands and turns around, Moose FLIES at him with a BUISAKU KNEE to the face! The knee hits Flasher square in the face, then sends his head rocketing back into the steel wall. Flasher collapses to the floor, Moose crawls over and covers.......

ONE.......TWO.......THREE! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION, MOOSEHEAD JACK

......the referee hands Moose the title and then disappears. Moose reaches down and pulls the scalpel out of Flasher's leg and puts it back in his boot. Jack then picks up HDB and looks at Flasher and seems to consider gutting him, but just smirks and walks away and we fade>

MHJ: “Your point?”

MAC: “Two years ago. That was us. All for this …”

*MAC pats the DDT Ironman Heavy Metal title* 

MF: “…Two days before my first sanctioned match in this company, we met. Two days before my first sanctioned match in OOWF, you tried to kill me over this championship. You were so obsessed with this title that you had to stab a rookie in the thigh just to get enough of an advantage to reclaim this title for the 37th time. You’ve held this 50 times. Fifty. But we’re almost a year removed from your last reign. July 10, 2017, if you want to pick nits.”

MHJ: “What’s your point?”

MF: “This title used to be you. When someone said “DDT Ironman Heavy Metal title’ … The immediate thought was ‘Moosehead Jack.’ If someone other than you held this, that’s all you thought about … *MOOSE makes the wanking motion during MAC’s diatribe* “… Nowadays? BRICK~! holds this title for over a month before Bridget O’Malley just happened to beat me to what I had intended to do.”

MHJ: “Yes. Yes. That’s all nice. If this is your way of trying to pull me onto your side …”

MF: “Fuck that. You and I would likely never coexist. But if I’m going to risk life, limb, and career in this war, I want the Moosehead Jack that I had run from on that boat. Not the one that I’m confronting. Not this broken-down shell of a great champion.”

*MAC takes the fresh bottle of ‘Trust Me’, opens it and pours it all over MOOSE. MOOSE shoves himself away from the bar and decks MAC with a right hand. The brawl is on between the two with numerous cursing insults thrown out by both men. MAC waves in the OOWF OFFICIAL as MOOSE drills MAC in the face with a stool. As MAC stumbles back, MOOSE charges and tackles MAC into the shelves behind the bar, causing bottles and glasses to fall everywhere. MAC gets to his feet and sends a charging MOOSE to the ground with a drop toe hold into a nearby step-stool. As MOOSE regains his feet, MAC spears him into the shelving and begins a two-way fistfight with neither man gaining the advantage, though the rolling on the ground causes the OFFICIAL to reel off a series of 1-counts. MOOSE tries to reach for HAPPY DETH BAT IV but is cut off by MAC, who locks him in an STF. MOOSE struggles to escape, almost tapping out before grabbing HAPPY DETH BAT IV. MAC wisely breaks the hold and backs away from the weapon-carrying MOOSE* 

MHJ: “Is this what you want? YOUR FUCKING END!”

MF: “That’s a start if I felt any sort of fear. What do you intend to do with that bat? Just hold it menacingly and make idle threats?”

*MOOSE lunges at MAC and is dodged quickly as MAC trips MOOSE up and claims HAPPY DETH BAT IV from MOOSE’s grip. MAC discards the bat and opts for more brawling, which MOOSE happily indulges MAC with. MOOSE gains an edge with an eye rake and rolls on top of MAC, opting for a two-handed choke to quickly sap the air and energy from MAC. The OFFICIAL checks on MAC’s responsiveness, readying to declare a new champion when MAC reaches for the recently emptied bottle of ‘Trust Me’, swings wildly and connects with MOOSE’s jaw to knock him cold. MAC shoves MOOSE off and reaches into MOOSE’s boot to find a familiar weapon – the same scalpel used in the aforementioned brawl from July 4, 2016 – as MOOSE lay unconscious, MAC stares at the scalpel, then MOOSE and alternates his focus between the two. Without warning, MAC starts to tremble and drops the scalpel as MOOSE begins to stir. As calmly as he can while still gripped by the flashback, MAC picks up his DDT Ironman Heavy Metal championship and exits The Destroyitarium. As MAC walks away MOOSE sits up and reclaims his scalpel while rubbing his jaw* 

MHJ: “Ref! Is that a forfeit? Did he just chicken out on the one thing that would have put his mind at ease?”

*the OFFICIAL shrugs as MOOSE stands up with HAPPY DETH BAT IV and the scalpel in hand*

MHJ: “Guess I’ll have to hunt him down and finish this myself.”

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#858)
Live! From Vancouver, British Columbia
July 4. 2018

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. STAN FULTON

Not the match everyone was expecting here. Alex and Stan work a very methodical careful match with Stan using his size advantage to keep Alex grounded, while Alex uses his speed to keep Fulton off balance. The match stays surprisingly clean given their history. At one point Alex tries a top rope clothesline, but Fulton spins him down to the mat with a black hole slam, Fulton tries the drop line, but Alex rolls out of the way. As Fulton gets to one knee, Alex nails him with a shining wizard to the side of the head and Fulton falls between the ropes to the floor. Alex dives between the ropes and tries to take out Fulton, but Fulton moves and Alex crashes into the guardrail. The two brawl around ringside, completely ignoring the referee’s count. Finally we hit ten, and the ref calls for the bell.
WINNER – double count out in 19:33

BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. STANK

Stank picks up the win in a hard fought match. Bridget appeared to have the match won after hitting the O’Mallet and trapping Stank in a triangle choke, but Stank had his foot on the bottom rope. As Bridget celebrated Stank attacks from behind and hits a triple Stank bomb for the win.
WINNER in 21:04 – Stank

JACK BULLET & SHIZURU vs. GHOSTHEAD & SHANNON MANN

Jack starts things for his team, and we have a pretty standard match. Shannon and Ghost gain the upper hand and Bullet takes a beating. Ghost throws Bullet into the corner and demands Shizuru tag in, but instead, Shizuru hops off the apron and heads to the back, Ghost gives chase and Shizuru flees for his life. Meanwhile inside the ring, Bullet digs deep against Shannon and fights back, with the crowd firmly on his side. He rallies and hits the silver bullet, but cannot take advantage of it. As he crawls across the ring, Kazuo and Masaru distract the referee so he doesn’t see Bullet’s cover. Shizuru shows up again, slides into the ring and grabs Bullet and hits a psycho driver! Shizuru lovingly puts Shannon on top of Bullet, gently brushing the hair from her face, then disappears. The referee turns around, sees the pin, and makes the count.
WINNERS in 18:41 – Ghosthead & Shannon Mann

ALEXIS DARLING vs. MATT FOLZ

"Life is Beautiful" brings out Alexis Darling, still limping a bit after her match last week. She awaits in the ring as "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" brings out PHWF World Champion and one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions Matt Folz. The referee checks both competitors for weapons and then calls for the bell.

They lock up and Matt easily takes her down. Matt backs up to the center of the ring, they lock up again and again Matt easily takes her down. Another lock up and this time Alexis with a thumb to the eye that the referee doesn't see and a European Uppercut that rocks Matt. Alexis shoots Matt off the ropes and hits a Spinning Heel Kick. A Butterfly Suplex is followed by a Brainbuster that gets 2. Alexis whips Matt into the corner and charges, but Matt moves out of the way and Alexis hits her ankle on the ring post. Matt with a head and arm Folzplex to put Lexie down before he takes a second to catch his breath.

Matt drags Alexis to the corner and rolls out of the ring. He grabs Alexis's leg and slams her ankle into the post once...twice...and one more time for good measure. Matt rolls back in to break the count and rolls back out and slams Alexis's ankle onto the ring apron. Matt rolls back into the ring, backs up and mockingly laughs as he sees Alexis using the ropes to pull herself up. Matt allows her to do so and then sends her right back down with a chop block. Matt with an elbow drop and a stomp to the injured ankle before he applies the Ankle Lock. Alexis looks in a ton of pain and has her hand up seeming like she might tap but she shakes her head and manages to just get a grip on the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break but Matt ignores it. The referee begins to count but Matt ignores that as well. The referee reaches 5 and calls for the bell.

Winner (Disqualification, 6:21) Alexis Darling.

Matt still has the hold applied and looks ready to fully break Alexis's ankle, when Alexander Darling comes sprinting to the ring and grabs Matt and throws him across the ring. Matt gets up and gets in Alex's face but oddly shakes his head and slides out of the ring. Stan, Stank, Mai and Shizru come down but Matt just shakes his head and tells them to back off. Moose is on the top of the ramp, big cigar in his mouth as he watches this. Alex helps his sister to his feet and helps her to the back. Moose and Alex lock eyes as they pass one another.

KYLIE MIGNOLIO vs. ZED

Russ: "Twenty minutes. I cannot belive this match is still going on!"
Razz : My girl Kylie is back and proving herself to be the competitor she is!

Connecting with a European uppercut, Zed knocked Kylie off balance before following things up by taking her off her feet and throwing her to the mat with a scoop slam. Jumping into the air as high as he possibly could, Zed stretched his legs forward as he came down, dropping his leg across Kylie’s throat with a leg drop. Rolling backwards and pushing himself up to a hand stand, he dropped down to his feet before slapping his hands together with a clap and then jumping straight into the air once more. This time, he came down with an elbow drop to Kylie’s chest! Rolling over to his stomach, he quickly pushed himself up before side stepping to position himself beside Kylie with his back turned to her. Going aerial, Zed flipped backwards through the air while twisting his body before coming down with a corkscrew moonsault. At least that’s what he had in mind originally before crashing to the canvas as Kylie quickly rolled out of the way.

Zed rolled along the mat in pain as Kylie slowly pushed herself back to her feet. With Zed down, Kylie went on the attack, not giving him the opportunity to get back to his feet. Zed looked up to the lights before Kylie came into view, leaping into the air and coming down on his head with a high knee drop! She rolled forward after connecting, continuously rising to her feet. Pulling Zed up from the mat, Kylie held him in place with one hand as she fired away with the other, connecting with back to back right hands to Zed’s face. Ducking down, she wrapped him up before lifting him up and over, slamming him to his back with a northern lights suplex. Kylie popped to her feet as Zed slowly raised up to a seated position. Running past him, Kylie hit the ropes in front of him before coming back with even more speed and hitting him in the chest with a running dropkick. Zed’s body flew backwards before crashing against the mat and shortly after, Kylie was on top of him to make the cover.

ONE

.

.

The officials hand swung downward towards the mat, stopping just an inch away from making the two count before Zed kicked out. Kylie pushed herself up to her knees before reaching her hand underneath the back of Zed’s head and lifting it up from the mat. Swinging with her other arm, she connected with a stiff right to his face before standing to her feet and pulling Zed up as well. Locking onto Zed’s wrist, Kylie then went to whip him to the far corner but before she could release, Zed reversed the throw and sent her racing to the corner instead. Crashing against the corner, Kylie looked ahead like a deer in the headlights as Zed was airborne and flying straight at her. Connecting with a body splash, Zed then dropped to his feet before gabbing ahold of Kylie’s arm and pulling her away from the corner. He whipped her across the ring and sent her racing to the opposite corner and just as she crashed into it, he took off once more. Running across the ring and gaining speed with each step, Zed then leaped through the air before planting both feet into Kylie’s stomach. Grabbing onto her head with both hands, he then rolled backwards, pulling her down with him, and as his back hit the mat, he sent Kylie straight into the air with a monkey flip. And landed on her back in the center of the ring with a thud as the crowd begin to grow louder and louder.

Kylie slowly pushed herself up but before she could stand, Zed was there with a double axe-handle to the back, knocking her flat on her stomach. Pulling Kylie to her feet, Zed connected with one, the two, and then three open hand strikes to the face before spinning in place and throwing his arm up as he wiped her out with a spinning lariat takedown. Pushing himself up from the mat, he hopped over Kylie’s body and ran to the nearby ropes. Jumping through the air, he planted both feet on the middle rope before springboarding off and flipping backwards through the air. Landing across Kylie’s body, Zed connected with the springboard moonsault and hooked her leg for the pin with the official on standby.

ONE

.

.

TW–

Popping her shoulder up from the mat, Kylie escaped the pinfall attempt just before the two count. Not giving her a single second to catch a breather, Zed swung down and connected with a palm strike to her face before rolling her over to her stomach. Wrapping his arm around her throat, Zed locked in a sleeper hold as he stood to his feet and dragged Kylie up from the mat. She grabbed his forearm with both hands, pulling at it as hard as she could in an attempt to pry herself from the sleeper hold. She tried, but wasn’t too successful as Zed had the sleeper locked in tight. Moments passed as Kylie’s struggle eased up, slowly being worn down due to the lack of oxygen. Her legs gave out from under her as she fell to a seated position on the mat. Zed continued cutting off her oxygen supply before eventually Kylie showed no signs of movement. Kneeling beside them, the official grabbed Kylie’s arm and slowly raised it into the air. Holding it up for a short moment, he then released it. Her arm dropped straight down to her side. Grabbing her arm again, the official raised it a second time, holding it up for just a few seconds before releasing it. Again, her arm dropped down by her side as Zed continued squeezing tightly with the sleeper hold. Grabbing Kylie’s arm and raising it a final time, the official held it up for a few seconds before releasing it. Kylie’s arm dropped to her side, stopping just before her hand came in contact with the mat. She then shot her arm straight into the air as her eyes opened wide.

Zed was shocked at the sight but kept the sleeper hold locked in while standing behind him. Using Zed for leverage, Kylie fought her way upwards, standing to her feet while still being choked by Zed. Turning her body just enough while being held, she then swung her arm inward towards Zed, hitting him in the stomach with an elbow. She swung her arm a second time, hitting him with another elbow and then a third, finally forcing Zed to release his hold. Zed took a step back, struggling for breath after having the air knocked from his lungs. Kicking her leg up from the ground, Kylie then spun in place, whipping her leg around and connecting with a hook kick to Zed’s head! Zed fell backwards before tripping over his feet and crashing to the mat. Before Zed could find his way back to his feet, Kylie rushed in, leveling him with an enzuigiri as he rose to one knee right there on the spot! Making the cover, she went for the pin as the official dropped in beside them with the count.

ONE

.

.

TWO

.

.

Kicking out just before the three, Zed not only shocked the crowd but also Kylie as well. She stood to her feet and paced the ring for a short moment before moving in and pulling Zed up from the mat. Swatting Kylie’s hands away and breaking her hold, Zed then kicked her in the stomach as hard as he could, forcing her to buckle over from the impact. Grabbing ahold of her head with both hands, Zed then jumped up and came down, pulling Kylie along with him and smashing her face into the canvas with a sit-out facebuster. Rolling over to her back, Kylie held both hands over her face before finally fighting through the pair and pushing herself up. Stepping in as she stood, Zed slapped her across the chest with back to back knife edge chops before positioning himself beside her and slamming her face to the canvas once again with a front face slam. Kylie still wasn’t going down without a fight as she forced herself back to her feet, struggling to do so. As she looked up, Zed was right there, leaping into the air and wrapping both legs around her head. Falling backwards, Zed lifted her off her feet before throwing her across the ring with a hurricanrKylie! Kylie’s back smacked the mat and she rolled forward up to her feet. From across the ring, Zed rushed her but before he could connect with a clothesline, Kylie spun around and planted her foot into his stomach with a spinning back kick, stopping him in his tracks. The kick forced Zed to lunge over as the air escaped his lungs.

Kicking upward, she kissed his face with a kick that stood him completely upright. Dropping her foot back to the ground, Kylie then kicked her other leg up, connecting with a solid kick to the side of Zed’s head. After lowering that leg, she then kicked her other one up and swung around as hard as she could, using her momentum to bring stars to Zed’s vision as she connected with a third kick. Jumping into the air, she planted both feet into his chest with a high angle dropkick, sending him stumbling backwards and crashing into the corner. Kylie quickly pushed herself back to her feet and once standing, she charged towards the corner where Zed was propped against it. Leaping into the air feet first, Kylie drove a single foot into Zed’s face with a running single leg dropkick ! She dropped to the mat and not far behind, Zed stumbled forward in a daze, tripping over her body and falling face first to the mat. Rolling towards the ropes, he slid out of the ring collecting himself, reaching for the lower rope to pull himself back in, Kylie slowly rising, they both freeze as the bell rings singaling the end of the match.
WINNER – 30 minute time limit draw

MAI MUYO vs. MAC FLASHER

The bell rings with Mai Muyo charging Mac Flasher with a dropkick and a series of kicks to his legs before a chop to the throat puts Mac on his back. Mai climbs the ropes and tries an elbow drop but gets nothing but canvas as Mac kips up and then spears Mai as she returned to a vertical base. The two continue their brawl before “Junior” Hale separates them and warns each for the excessive use of closed fists.

Russ: “I’d say this is uncharacteristic of both of these two, but Mai Muyo has made some interesting choices in allies in recent weeks while Mac … Well, lord knows what’s going on in his brain.”
Razz: “If he knew, that would make one more than the current number.”

Mac and Mai try to play it straight with a chain-wrestling sequence that leads to a couple standoffs and the requisite applause at each pause. Mac invites Mai into a test of strength, only to eat a boot to the stomach and some rope-based offense as Mai holds Mac’s hand through repeated springboard strikes from the ropes. Mai’s knee buckles on the last strike, causing great concern from Mac and Mai’s remaining fans. Hale checks on Mai, who insists that she can still fight. Mac gives Mai her space while Mai is urging Mac to continue the bout. Hale reluctantly allows the fight to continue with Mac taking advantage of Mai’s limited mobility before wrestling her to the mat and working on the knee. A kneebar almost gains a submission with Mai breaking free with a boot to Mac’s face. Mai crawls to the ropes and tries to stand up, but stumbles before rolling to the outside. Mac follows with a few shots to the face his reward for the chase. Mac soon overpowers Mai and tries to roll her inside when “Scarecrow” plays. Mac, who was just about to climb through the ropes, pauses and stares down the aisle. What Mac cannot see is Moosehead Jack emerging from the crowd behind Mac.

Russ: “If Mac Flasher ever had the ability to see behind him …”
Razz: “Too late. If Moosehead Jack can get this surprise advantage, eyes in the back of your head are just another thing he can injure.”

Mai, seeing Moose, turns on the acting chops and writhes in screaming pain on the mat, concerning Hale greatly as Moose climbs over the barricade and drills Mac in the kidneys with Happy Deth Bat IV. Moose continues the assault on Mac’s lower back, all while Mai keeps Hale occupied. Moose hops over the barricade as Mai’s pain magically subsides, leaving her able to hop around as she waits on Mac to return to the ring. Hale sees Mac face down on the mats outside, and begins his count. Mac lay motionless on the mats as Hale hits 10.

Your winner (count out, 8:42), Mai Muyo.

Mai celebrates her win and sudden recovery as Moose reemerges with a different official via the same route as earlier.

Russ: “You don’t think?”
Razz: “Mac wanted the old Moosehead Jack. He may have gotten worse!”

Moose grabs a lifeless Mac and hoists him in position for the GTSF. Moose strikes Mac’s head with a sickening thud and waves the second official over.

1 … 2 … 3! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION … MOOSEHEAD JACK!

Moose takes the title from the official and adds a few stomps to Mac for good measure until Bridget O’Malley charges down the aisle. Moose snickers at Bridget before taking his newly won championship with him from where he came. Bridget frantically motions for OOWF Medical to come to ringside as blood starts to come from Mac’s mouth as he coughs.

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. BEER MONEY – One Hour Iron Man Cage Match

The crowd is hot for this one. BEF wins the first fall after fifteen minutes when Bill catches SYB with a Freebird for the pin. Beer Money evens the score when Skurge catches Justin with a top rope Canadian Destroyer. Thankfully Bill broke up the second attempt at a pin before BM could go up 2-1. BM takes the lead anyway after 37 minutes of action after a Jersey Turnpike and a roll up. BM goes up 3-1 after SYB KO’s Bill with a roll of quarters only five minutes later. BFE rally and cut it to 3-2 with only 10 minutes left when Justin hits the DOUGHAWK and pins Skurge. The two teams battle frantically with BM trying to keep BFE from getting another pin. Bill hits a Mason Dixon line on SYB from the top of the cage and covers, but the time runs out just before the three count and BM takes the win!
WINNERS (3-2) in 60:00 – Beer Money

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Mid-Summer Night’s Scream 10 PPV Live, July 29, LIVE! from Toronto, Ontario Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! July 11th live! from Calgary, Alberta!

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!