[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#869)
Live! From Calgary, Alberta
July 11, 2018

Mai Muyo, Zed & Stank vs. Mac Flasher, Kylie Mignolio & Bridget O'Malley
Jack Bullet vs. Shizuru vs. Ghosthead
Beer Money vs. Saints of Sinners
The Darlings vs. Banned From Everywhere
Shannon Mann vs. Ecosystem
Moosehead Jack vs. Jericho Hart


card subject to Lance Storm not approving of our shenanigans

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to the OOWF press room where Vic is standing at the mic, to his left sits Moose, to his right sits Danny and Eco>

V: Welcome everyone, this will be relatively brief. After careful review of the situation GM Danny and the rest of the Board of Directors has decided that Junichiro Muyo has been medically cleared to resume in ring duties. In light of that decision, Moosehead Jack’s suspension has also been lifted……

<before the words are out of his mouth Moose is on his feet and he goes after Juni, but security intervenes and gets Moose back to his seat>

V: HOWEVER, there are some rules in place to keep this from becoming a blood bath. From this point forward, Junichiro Muyo and Moosehead Jack are to have ZERO physical contact outside of the wrestling ring, which means that unless they are in a sanctioned match, which requires the signature of BOTH participants and approval of the General Manager any physical altercation between the two will result in further suspension for Mr. Quinn, and permanent removal from consideration of any position of power within the OOWF for Mr. Muyo.

Now, as for the present, there are no scheduled matches between Mr. Quinn and Mr. Muyo in the foreseeable future due to the extremely volatile nature of the situation. However, that does not mean that no matches will be scheduled. That decision is at the discretion of the General Manager.

Reporter: Moose is the current DDT champion, would this ruling preclude Junichiro Muyo from attempting to win the title from Moose?

V: unfortunately, it does. As we all know the DDT title is a 24/7 rule, but due to the nature of the restrained conditions, Juni will not be able to compete for the title, much in the same way that Alex will not be able to under the title’s current rules.

Reporter 2: Isn’t that discrimination?

V: No, rules are in place to avoid that, should Juni WANT a shot at the title, he is free to request a match for the DDT title and it will be booked as a proper match. There is precedent for this, as the DDT title HAS been defended in the matter in the past. I believe that covers everything, if you have further questions, we will be available for questions at a later time.

[Sportsguy]

We fade in to the Destroyitarium after Moose's press conference. Matt holds up his glass.

Matt: A formal welcome back to the roster for our friend.

Saints: Here here.

Moose: Thank you. Nice to be back.

Stank: Someone want to explain why we let Darling walk away last night?

Mai: Yeah, that wasn't like you Matt.

Stan: Getting soft on us?

Shiz: Shizru could easily bleed him dry.

Matt: I don't doubt that. You are more talented than him. And I'm not getting soft, believe me there's nothing more I'd like to do than leave him barely breathing in a pool of his own blood. But there's a good reason I asked you all to back off last night.

Stan: Please don't leave us in suspense.

Matt: Who are we to deprive this man (Pointing at Moose) of his destiny? As much as we all hate Darling- hell almost everyone in this room has an unpleasant history with him- this match at Hell on Earth has been building for 20 years. Now if by some miracle Alex survives Hell on Earth and sticks around after that, I'll be the first fucking one in line to try and finish the job. But every single one of us owes Moose the chance to end this on his terms first. But I can't speak for you all, every one of you has free will, you can do what you want. Just adding my two cents.

FADE

[Leo]

Sexy Female Journalist Ichiban welcomes Onslaught Champion "Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet under the OOWF Banner immediately following Mayhem.

Ichiban: Jack Bullet, tonight on Mayhem, Shizuru betrayed you once again in a tag team match, leading to you being pinned by Shannon Mann.

JB: This time I knew Shizuru was going to betray me, I just hoped he wouldn't. I let him make his own decision, I hoped he would make the right one. He didn't. However, at the same time, I was kind of hoping Ghosthead would make good on his promises of taking Shizuru out for his advances on Shannon. He didn't. I guess that just makes me a hopeful, old fool and Ghosthead a cowardly, fool.

Ichiban: Those are pretty strong words against one of the fiercest competitors in the OOWF.

JB: Everyone keeps saying that, but I haven't seen it. And everyone acts all scared of the new Shizuru, but I know who he really is underneath all that. Much like all this civil war talk, it's just talk. Show me something!

Jack Bullet takes the microphone from Ichiban and stares into the camera as his voice rises in volume and frequency, cracking with intensity.

JB: I'm walking around here in the back with an Uncle Sam hat on my head, trying to figure out who the hell I am anymore while Shizuru pretends to be Crow Sting with a boner and Ghosthead is all "come at me, bro" so hard he should be wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. And everybody, even the damn fans, are like "that's cool." It's not fucking cool! It's lame, it's terrible and it's not what wrestling should be. Next week, Jack Bullet, Shizuru, Ghosthead; triple threat match. Is the Onslaught Title on the line. No, why, because Danny Taylor has his head up his own ass. Let me say that again so he's sure I didn't stutter...Danny Taylor...has his head...UP HIS OWN ASS! What's the good of having a title if you never defend it? What's the good of having a title that nobody wants to come after? What's the good of having a triple threat match with two assholes who'd rather be on an episode of "Cheaters" than in a wrestling ring? Ghosthead, Shizuru, you want to prove me wrong. Then PROVE me wrong. Don't say it, you prove it in that god damn ring next week against the Archduke of the Triple Threat. And I know you're going to come back and say "Jack Bullet should be careful what he asks for" and "Jack Bullet doesn't know what he's talking about." Words! They're just fucking words until you prove it. Next week on Mayhem both of you better show me something or I'm going to show both of you something you won't be able to walk away from.

Bullet spikes down the microphone and walks off.

[snelson66]

FADE in on the Destroyitarium. Looking at the call sheet for Wednesday’s Midweek Mayhem, is one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, The Crusher Stan Fulton. Over walks his partner, the other half of said champions, Matt Folz, along with his better half, Jamie.

SF: “Matt.”

MF: “Yeah?”

SF: “I know I haven’t been back long, but...”

Fulton points to their opponents on Wednesday, Beer Money.

SF: “...who are these guys?”

MF: “Didn’t you ask this in promo before?”

SF: “Maybe. I don’t pay attention to what I write and I might have early on-set Alzheimer’s.”

Kayfabe walks in and up to Fulton.

SF: “Hi, Kay.”

Kay pats Fulton on the cheek, then knees him in the groin. Matt winces. Jamie tries (and fails) to hide a smile.

SF: (quietly moaning while in pain and struggling to breathe) “Nice to see you again, Kay.”

Fulton sits down, heavily, on a nearby chair as Kay gives the universal two-finger-pointing-at-their-eyes-then-your-eyes gesture. She leans over and gives Jamie a kiss on the cheek and heads out.

MF: “When are you going to learn?”

JF: “Knowing you two, probably never.”

When Fulton recovers...

MF: “So what did you want to know about Beer Money?”

SF: “What’s their deal?”

MF: “They promo well. And one’s Canadian.”

JF: “They like hockey.”

MF: “Yeah. Hockey.”

SF: “I was looking at our archives. They’ve won many tag championships. We should be concerned.”

MF: “Stan, we always take our matches seriously.”

SF: “Do we? Do we?!”

MF: “We do. And this week at Midweek Mayhem #869, LIVE from Calgary...”

...

MF: “... Alberta, CANADA, the Saints of Sinners take on Beer Money for the OOWF World Tag Team Championships!”

JF: “Uh, Matt? It’s not a championship match.”

MF: “It isn’t?”

SF: “Nope. Just a standard tag team match.”

MF: “...”

JF: “...”

SF: “...”

MF: “OK, so maybe we don’t take every match seriously.”

Fulton sighs.

SF: “So this promo was...”

JF: “A waste of time, yes.”

We start to FADE, but Matt’s voice is heard over the FADE.

MF: “Hah hah. You got kneed in your nuts for nothing.”

[Zed]

Mac Flasher has set up shop in an undisclosed location for a Twitch stream of, uh, whatever it is he is playing these days. OOWF 2k18? Fortnite? MLB: The Show?

MF: Hello, hello! Welcome! I'll wait a few minutes before we get started, let everyone on the notification squad get settled in. How is everyone today! ... Thanks for the subscription, Banbyman ... thanks everyone for - what the

We hear a commotion off-screen before Zed emerges in the frame of the static webcam. Zed and Mac quickly disappear out of the frame, as the commotion resumes, including what sounds like a cabinet of disc cases falling over, pounding against desks, and other assorted collisions with furniture. After what feels like an eternity, Zed drags a bloody Mac back into the shot before hitting the GTH, placing one foot over Mac's chest, and awaiting the arrival of the 24/7 referee.

1 … 2 … 3! WINNER AND NEW DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION, ZED!

Zed then walks over to the webcam and takes a seat to speak to the stream, newly acquired title on his shoulder

Z: Hello! Hope you don't mind the interruption. I'm sure this stream will continue as plan once Mac gets stitched up a bit. I know you people ... and Mac especially ... love your symbolism. Like how he just HAD to take this title off my manager to have a chat with Moosehead Jack on the Fourth of July because something happened on a boat two years ago. So honestly, I'm just giving you people what you want. A little symbolism. A little foreshadowing. Because one day, this is also how I will take the World Heavyweight Championship. It's only a matter of time.

Enjoy the rest of the show, nerds.

Zed pulls the camera from its place and lays it on the floor, facing Mac still prone on the floor, as we hear him walk away.

[Jack Quinn]

<we see Zed walking past the Destroyitarium wearing the DDT title when Moose walks out also wearing the DDT title>

MHJ: <looking at Zed> Where did you get that?

Z: I just beat the shit out of Mac and won it, <looking at Moose's title> Where did you get THAT?

MHJ: I beat the shit out of Mac Wednesday night and won it

Z: Well, shit, what do we do here?

MHJ: I suppose we could brawl around the arena for hours, beating one another bloody until one of us finally yields?

Z: That sounds like A LOT of unnecessary work

MHJ: It does

Z: Rock, scissor, paper?

MHJ: do it

Both: ROCK, SCISSOR, PAPER SHOOT!

<Moose chooses paper, Zed goes Rock, a referee appears and hands Moose Zed's DDT title......WINNER AND UNIFIED DDT CHAMPION - MOOSEHEAD JACK!>

Z: <somewhat disappointed> So, I beat the shit out of Mac for nothing?

MHJ: Is it ever REALLY for nothing?

Z: Good point

MHJ: Buy you a drink until BRICK~! shows up?

<Zed shrugs and they head back into the Destroyitarium>

[L!zz~]

(Before the door to the Destroyitarium can close, a hand reaches out to grab it. Moose turns, slightly surprised to see Kylie standing there with Josie)

Zed: The kiddie klub is down the hall.

Kylie: (ignoring Zed, looks at Moose) Is Stank here?

Moose : You're..looking for Stank?

Josie: (nudging around her aunt, looks up at Moose) Hi Mr. Moose!

Moose : Hi kid....uh..what's up?

(Kylie is about to answer when Josie thrusts a gift bag and hand made card at Moose)

Moose: (puzzled) This is for Stank?

Josie (giggles and rolls her eyes) No silly! It's for Miss Fire! I made her a get wall card for her hand and boughted her a present.

Kylie: Bought. You bought her a present sweetie. (glances at Zed who is fairly amused at this whole thing than back at Moose) I figured Stank would be the best one to get it to her.

Moose: Well, I'm sure Fire will uh...love it. I'll make sure Stank gets it to her. (clears his throat) Thank you.

Kylie: I appreciate it. Thank Mr. Mooose Josie, and we will be going.

Zed: What? Don't want to stay and have a drink?

Kylie: Not exactly kid friendly. Josie?

Josie: (suddenly hugs Moose around the legs) Thank you Mr. Moose!

Moose: (surprised, awkwardly patting her head before Josie is gently pulled away by Kylie) You're welcome kid.

(Kylie steers her towards the door, thanking Moose with a nod, lets them out)

(Zed peeks down the hall, waving to Bullett who is waiting for them at the end the of the hall)

Stan: Did I see right? Did that kid hug Moose?

Zed: Did you see his face? (cracking up)

Moose: Shut the fuck up you idiots...


(fade)

[Leo]

Kylie and Josie come up to Jack Bullet at the end of the hall. He has a wide grin on his face.

JB: I can't believe you just did that. From what I could see Moose had no idea how to react.

KM: He didn't, element of surprise I guess. Maybe I'm learning some good strategies from you. Come right at them with boldness they don't expect. Like your promo after Mayhem.

Josie: You said some bad words, Uncle Jack.

Bullet now frowns.

JB: I know, sweetheart, I just got a little frustrated. Uncle Jack doesn't like spinning his wheels. Give me something to do or cut me loose.

Josie: Do I give you something to do.

Bullet picks up Josie and gives her a big hug.

JB: Of course, you do sweetheart, you give me somebody to love and we all need that.

Josie: Do you love, Aunt Kylie?

A silence hangs in the air for a moment.

JB: Sure, I do. As a friend. As a person. As someone you love and who loves and protects you.

KM: And as a friend and person who loves you back, Jack, I'm concerned with your mood swings lately. We should talk.

JB: We can talk later. How about ice cream now and then go-karts? Josie can ride with me.

KM: Jack, you can't fix everything with ice cream and go-karts.

Josie: Yes, you can!

Josie hops down from Bullet's arms and takes his big hand in her small one. They run off with Kylie giving a concerned look, but having to follow.

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*MAC FLASHER, still bloodied from ZED’s earlier attack, is spotted by the INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA as he walks down the Hallway of Random Encounters carrying a steel chair with BRIDGET O’MALLEY walking along in step, but not fully on board with MAC’s plans. They walk past KYLIE MIGNOLIO and JOSIE, but MAC never sees the two as BRIDGET emotes a ‘help-me’ nod to KYLIE. Sadly, KYLIE was distracted by a question from JOSIE and never sees it … Nevertheless … *

BRIDGET: “MAC! Just let it go. You’ll get him on Wednesday. Get yourself checked out. You took two severe beatings in 48 hours. Fill out the house show absence request. At least clean up and put on a shirt that isn’t soaked with your own blood?”

MAC: “Two men are in The Destroyitarium, and they both have this coming to them. Either you’re fighting with me, or you’re calling for Medical when I end both of them with this chair.”

BO’M: “Mac. Just … Don’t. Recover. Heal. Don’t make this worse before you can get better.”

*ZED exits The Destroyitarium and gets coldcocked by MAC and his steel chair. ZED drops to the ground immediately as MAC continues the attack until OOWF Security arrives to pull MAC away and shield ZED. BRIDGET’s screams of disapproval may have tipped that off to Security. Anyhow, MOOSEHEAD JACK steps out to see ZED out cold and MAC being pulled away before BRIDGET approaches MOOSE*

BO’M: “A word?”

MOOSE: “What do you want.”

BO’M: “You need to hear what I say. Even if you don’t take anything from it. It’s about Mac. It’s about his recent change of mood.”

MHJ: “I’ll give him this, I’m starting to like this side of him. Still can’t stand him as a person, though. Tell you what, if you’ve got any of that Spider’s Lullaby, I’ll give you as long as you need to say whatever. Just don’t bore me.”

BO’M: “Is that legal in Calgary ... AlbertaCanada?”

MHJ: “When has ‘legal’ concerned me?”

BO’M: “Good point.”

*BRIDGET fishes out a bag and hands it to MOOSE*

MHJ (inspecting): “A little light, but it’ll get me through the weekend. Please come on in.”

*BRIDGET and MOOSE enter The Destroyitarium as MOOSE navigates around the empty bottles with ease, BRIDGET at more of a tip-toe pace. MOOSE grabs a bottle of ‘Trust Me’ and offers to BRIDGET, who declines … Making MOOSE happier*

BO’M: “You know that he looks up to you.”

MHJ: “Mac? The paragon of ‘the right way’ looks up to me?”

BO’M: “Not because of your actions, but more of what you and Firewoman came from.”

MHJ: “I know that you had it pretty good as a child, but there are plenty of others in OOWF that grew up poor. That story isn’t special.”

BO’M: “It’s not so much the money situation. Mac ate. Mac had clothes. His needs were met. Moreso the bullying. How you and your sister handled those things. Yeah, there was that time that you and Fire reminisced about beating up the more well-to-do kids because they made fun of you for being poor. That really spoke to Mac. There were a lot of things about where you came from and how you overcame it that spoke to him … Long before he ever set foot in an OOWF ring. He never idolized you, but he damn sure respected you.”

MHJ: “I see. If that’s respect that’s he’s been showing the past few weeks, it’s a very odd way to display it.”

BO’M: “Right now, Mac needs a purpose. He’s been going through some stuff with emotions and possibly imbalances. It’s almost like he wants everyone to like him. When there are those who don’t, that eats at him. But Mac is smart enough to know that the optics of aligning with a Saint aren’t the best. So this is his way of trying to earn your respect, or even some backhanded approval.”

MHJ (chucking): “So the brawl over the DDT title when he thought about stabbing me was a try for respect?”

BO’M: “Correct. You two are likely never going to be allies, but he wants to show that he can ‘go too far’ as well. I just think that the moment got too big for him when he could have returned the favor and instead decided to leave you lay …”

MHJ: “Is he cracking? Is this about to be some ‘Broken Mac Flasher’ shit?”

BO’M: “No, but that would be delightful. Wonderful, even.”

*KAYFABE strolls past and laughs in an odd cadence*

BO’M: “The thing is this. He’s acting like this not because he thinks he can be you, but because he’s been you. He’s felt what you’ve felt with the bullying. It’s because he thinks that you, and possibly Fire, might be the only ones who have shared his experiences. It’s kind of an odd play, I’ll admit, especially when you two are destined to be on opposite sides of this war; but as a teenager … He was more of a Moosehead Jack fan because of where you came from than what you did in the ring.”

MHJ: “Well, what I do is … Not for everyone.”

BO’M: “He gets that, but even if you never are friends. Even if you brawl each other into early retirements, he’s craving the respect that he feels he can only get from you. Only you and Fire have felt that pain. Only you and Fire can speak of that experience … At least in his head.”

MHJ (now drinking straight from the bottle): “So what do you want me to do?”

BO’M: “Nothing. Anything that comes of this conversation needs to be organic. You can’t just feign respect or empathy. Basically, you can’t treat him like you have Shizuru. Even if you confess respect and then knock his teeth into Manitoba, that first part has to be as sincere as the second part. It’s the only way he’ll heal emotionally.”

MHJ: “Why now? Why not when he came on that boat two years ago?”

BO’M: “This was always inside him. He’s just lacking a way to keep it hidden, nowadays.”

MHJ: “I see.”

*STANK enters The Destroyitarium and spots BRIDGET*

STANK: “Moose? Why is she here?”

MHJ: “She was just about to leave. Right, Ginger O’Malley?”

BO’M: “Ginger was my mother’s name.”

MHJ: “Of course it was.”

BO’M: “Well, you should know better than anyone …”

MHJ and BO’M (in unison): “… Irish shit.”

*MOOSE and BRIDGET look at each other uncomfortably*

MHJ: “Was that a moment?”

BO’M: “God, I hope not.”

MHJ: “OK, you said your shit. Leave.”

*BRIDGET nods, offers thanks and exits while MOOSE grabs a bar napkin and immediately scrawls down notes*

S: “What the hell was that about?”

MHJ: “Just some advanced scouting.”

*STANK spies the bag on the counter and grabs it*

S: “I’m taking this.”

MHJ: “Dick!”

*STANK exits while MOOSE continues to scrawl away as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds wrestling legend LANCE STORM … Yes, damn it. LANCE STORM is a legend and I can’t believe that we’re going to argue this … Anyhow, LANCE stands in a production studio as OOWF Director of Online #Content SEAN BRIEN briefs LANCE on the impending shoot*

SEAN: “Lance. Thank you again for doing this.”

LANCE: “Anything to help out OOWF.”

SB: “OK, so just look into the TelePrompter and read. Shooting in 3 … 2 …”

LS (turning to the camera): “Hello fans. Lance Storm here. On Wednesday, join the stars of OOWF for MidWeek Mayhem at Scotiabank Saddledome. See the return of Moosehead Jack and Ecosystem along with OOWF World Champion, Mac Flasher; OOWF Intercontinental Champion Zed, with BRICK~!; OOWF Onslaught Champion, Jack Bullet, the OOWF Tag Team Champions ‘The Crusher’ Stan Fulton and Matt Folz with many more. Tickets are still available, and gates open at 6:30 p.m. That’s OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, this Wednesday at Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary …”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

LS: “…”

*SEAN looks at his ASSISTANT PRODUCER with a look of panic as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene rejoins SEAN BRIEN, OOWF Director of Online #Content, as he frantically motions to a stone-faced LANCE STORM to make sure that he’s still alive while continuing to shoot a promo for Wednesday’s MidWeek Mayhem airing from Calgary. SEAN can be seen looking at his watch trying to figure out how long the camera has been rolling, and sighing when out of nowhere …*

LANCE: “… AlbertaCanada. And if you can’t join us, you can catch all of the action on OOWF.tv, free for only $6.66 per month.”

SEAN: “THANK GOD! CUT! THAT’S A WRAP!”

LS: “Sean … I feel like I rushed that. Can we shoot that again?”

SB: “Come again?”

LS: “I think I rushed that. It might come out as run together. I can be kind of a motormouth.”

SB: “Lance. I’m sure it’s fine.”

LS: “Listen, if my name is being used to sell this show to the local fans, it has to be right. I’m not going to let some just-out-of-university kid with Twitter verification tell me when it’s a job well done when it wasn’t. PLACES EVERYONE! WE’RE DOING THIS AGAIN!”

SB (muttering): “He’s joking. This is some rib from Danny Taylor. It has to be … ”

LS: “Hello fans. Lance Storm here …”

*LANCE continues the read while SEAN attempts to drown himself in his coffee as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

OOC: bear with my lack of formatting, on my phone.

Firewoman is watching coverage of the rescue of the stranded Thai soccer team, and when Chad Madison comes in, he sees that she is visibly upset.

CM: You are visibly upset.

FW: They got 4 out and they are stopping until Monday. MONDAY!

CM: That's tomorrow.

FW: I KNOW! Precious hours and--

CM: Fire, they are in Thailand.

FW: I know!

CM: So there is a time difference. It is night there now, probably, and would be too dangerous. Their Monday is way sooner than our Monday.

FW: Oh.

CM: Come on, it's time for you to stop moping around here. Zane organized a meet and greet at the local Covenant House.

FW: *visibly her mood brightens* Yeah?

CM: Yeah, we both know how important those kids are to you. Wrap your hand up and let's go.

Fire re-applies the bandage to her post-surgical hand and the two of them leave.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene finds SEAN BRIEN, OOWF Director of Online #Content, beating his head against a wall on set as LANCE STORM is still on his second take on a web advertisement for Wednesday’s MidWeek Mayhem. SEAN stands near a pile of discarded coffee cups as he struggles to maintain his composure during a trademark pause from LANCE*

SEAN: “Al-bert-a … Can-a-da! Alberta, Canada. ALBERTAFUCKINGCANADA! Just say it! It’s been almost 20 hours!”

LANCE: “…”

*SEAN walks into the shot and confronts LANCE, who does not flinch*

SB: “Can you just say it? I gave up a Tinder date for this. Attitude Adjuster said that it was only supposed to be a 60-minute job. Why is it so damn hard to …”

*SEAN loses his cool and slaps LANCE, who immediately takes SEAN to the ground on a double-leg takedown before twisting him into a Canadian Maple Leaf. SEAN flails wildly but can only muster screams as LANCE never breaks eye contact with the camera. SEAN finally screams his submission as LANCE politely lets him go … Again, without breaking eye contact with the camera. SEAN rolls away and dials ATTITUDE ADJUSTER on the phone, when …”

LS: “…AlbertaCanada. And if you can’t join us, you can catch all of the action on OOWF.tv, free for only $6.66 per month.”

*LANCE pauses*

LS: “I think that was good. Good improv, kid. Really made that spot pop. When will this go live?”

CAMERAMAN: “Uhhhh … Looks like we ran out of memory on the camera three hours ago. I tried to tell you, but you never looked away from the lens.”

LS: “No matter. We’ll shoot again. Whenever you’re ready.”

*LANCE returns to his stand-up spot while SEAN goes running off set to find ATTITUDE ADJUSTER as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<Cut to Kylie's room where there is a knock on the door. Eco walks in and immediately notices Josie playing with Moosehead Jack and Firewoman action figures, he raises an eyebrow at Kylie>

K: <shrugging> She likes their red hair, what can I say?

Eco: <kneeling next to Josie> who are they beating up?

Josie: You silly!

<Josie laughs as she pulls the Eco action figure from beneath a pile of other toys that the Quinns had been piling on him>

K: What can I do for you Juni?

Eco: There's something you said weeks ago that I cannot get out of my mind

K: Oh?

Eco: When you were facing Jack for the Onslaught title, you said all you wanted to do was wrestle.

K: I remember

Eco: You didn't want any part of the violence and the bloodshed, you just wanted to get in the ring and wrestle

K: Yes

Eco: That's what I want for the OOWF. I want this place to go back to wrestling the Saints have perverted it. Look at it! Even Josie is affected! She should be playing with MY action figure! She should be using Ecosystem to pin your action figure clean! Don't you understand? I want an OOWF that is a good place for Josie.........I want this to be a place where she can proudly say you work.

K: Eco, I......

<Before Kylie can say anything, Jack Bullet walks in and sees Eco, and he immediately glares at him, Eco just smirks>

Eco: Jack, we were just finishing up here. I was telling Kylie to tell Josie what great role models Moose makes for kids, remember? There were once three of them, wonder what happened to the third....

<Eco turns and walks out of the room and we immediately cut to the Destroyitarium where Eco's promo just finished, and the place is silent. Everyone is frozen. The camera focuses on Moose, the color drains from his face and he slowly gets to his feet>

MHJ: did he just......

Sta: Jack.....I.....I am sure Eco didn't.......

<Moose turns and walks out the door without a word and heads down the hall. As Jack passes people, they step aside.......except for one.......Mac Flasher>

MHJ: Mac, I fucking PROMISE you this is not the time

Mac: This is EXACTLY the time Jack, let's go all Tombstone here, we started a game we didn't finish, remember?

MHJ: <pulling the scalpel from his boot, Mac takes half a step back and Moose smirks, then turns the blade around and hands the handle end to Mac. Mac takes the blade and Moose stands there. Mac looks down at Moose's thigh, the same area that Mac stabbed Moose, but once again Mac hesitates> Do it

<Mac doesn't, and Moose lands a jaw shattering slap across the face>

MHJ: DO IT!

<Mac's eyes go wide and he jabs the blade into Moose's thigh, Moose howls in pain, Mac stands upright, a shocked look on his face, Mac never sees the left hook that catches him on the temple, staggering him, but he sure as hell feels the chair that comes crashing down on his head leaving him unconscious on the floor. Moose slowly straightens up and limps away, but doesn't make it far before he is stopped by Vic and a LOT of security>

Vic: Jack I cannot let this happen

MHJ: I fucking DARE you to try and stop me

Vic: Every one of these men have tasers

MHJ: Fuck you Vic

Vic: <stepping in front of Moose> I heard what he said, but I cannot have you attacking him. What I can do is give you something to calm the situation

MHJ: Unless it's a fucking rusty meat hook, no deal

Vic: A pick your poison match

MHJ: What?

Vic: In your pocket. You get to pick Eco's opponent, anyone but you <thinking> or Ket, to face Eco whenever you choose.

MHJ: Doesn't he get to pick the same?

Vic: Yes........but he gets to pick from a very select list, do you understand what I'm saying?

MHJ: <thinking for a moment> Fine. I want it in writing in the Destroyitarium in an hour or the next time I see Juni you're going to need a fucking hazmat team to clean up his remains

Vic: Deal

<Moose snarls and turns and limps away. As he rounds a corner, he is BLINDSIDED with a chair right to the face. Moose falls to the floor and the camera pans up and we see a the Masked Man standing there with a chair, he repeatedly brings the chair down on Moose's head and shoulder until Moose doesn't move, then tosses the chair aside and disappears as we fade to black>

[L!zz~]

(As Josie returns to playing, Kylie relays the whole conversation to Jack)

Kylie: I am assuming he is trying to sway me to his side..

Jack: (frowns) At some point they both will.

Kylie: I can't see Moose attempting to sway me.

Jack: Never underestimate him.

Kylie: (nods) You're right..(shakes her head) I had told Bill and Justin that they could take Josie to the (lowers her voice) movies but I wonder if I should cancel.

Jack: (puzzled) I thought we were taking her.

Kylie: We were..but you and I have to have the talk you keep avoiding and when Bill asked it seemed like a good time to make it happen.

(Jack is about to respond when there is another knock at the door)

Fade

[Leo]

"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet hears a knock on the door. He goes to it, thinking it's BFE to take Josie the to the movies. He opens the door to find Vic DeNiro, Danny Taylor's right hand man, instead.

Vic: While I was down here taking care of business with Moosehead Jack, I figured I'd take care of the other Jack as well.

JB: It took Danny long enough. I'm surprised I'm just now hearing from him. Surprised I haven't heard anything from Shizuru or Ghosthead after what I said after Mayhem too.

Vic: Well, maybe they took to heart what you said. They're not going to run their mouths prior to the triple threat on Wednesday, but prove it to you in the ring like you asked. Danny...well, I told him to wait a few days until you calmed down and him. Look, it's not Danny's style to book title matches every show just to pop a rating. You want a title shot, you earn a title shot. You of all people, Jack, should appreciate that.

JB: I do, certainly, but it didn't even feel like anyone was even coming after the Onslaught Title or interested in it.

Vic: A title is only as good as the man wearing it, I shouldn't have to tell you that either. Here's the deal. If Shizuru wins the triple threat, he gets an Onslaught Title shot. If Ghosthead wins, he gets the title shot. If you, the Archduke of the Triple Threat, pulls out the win, then you can pick whoever you want on the active roster to defend the belt against. Shizuru, Ghosthead, Shannon, Kylie, Eco, Mooshead Jack, Zed, BRICK~!, Paul Smackage, anybody.

Vic extends his hand as he says "sound fair?"

Bullet shakes as he replies "yes, it does."

Vic nods, turns to walk down the hall and Bullet closes the hotel door as we FADE.

[snelson66]

FADE in on the OOWF News Desk sponsored by Sennheiser Microphones. Sitting behind one of the sponsors products is OOWF News reporter Joyce Summers.

JS: “A good Monday morning to everyone watching here on OOWF Network. I’m Joyce Summers and here are today’s OOWF News Bites.”

Summers turns toward another camera and CGI puts up images over her shoulder.

JS: “Tragedy was averted last week when OOWF Transportation worker Joe “Smitty” Leibovitz drove his truck into a lake Friday in Calgary... Alberta, Canada. Leibovitz’s semi truck lost its brakes and, rather than plow into an elementary school, Leibovitz forced his truck into the nearby lake. Leibovitz escaped with only minor injuries. However, the cargo he was carrying was all lost when the semi exploded upon settling to the bottom of the lake. OOWF officials report items lost were one tank, four bazookas, 12 tons of elephant food and a Stargate. Drug tests are pending for the OOWF Officials.”

JS: “OOWF Legend Moosehead Jack has been reinstated by OOWF General Manager Danny Taylor. Taylor Holt has the story.”

CUT to video story.

TH: “On Thursday morning, OOWF General Manager Danny Taylor, through his spokesman, Victor Deniro, announced that former OOWF CEO Junichiro “Ecosystem” Muyo has been medically cleared. This announcement triggered an end to the suspension of Moosehead Jack, who has been suspended since Muyo was injured. I spoke with Deniro right after the news conference.”

CUT within video to Holt standing with Deniro.

TH: “Victor, why did Taylor make this announcement now, when it’s been fairly obvious that Eco has been fine for weeks.”

VD: “Taylor, we can only go by what our medical staff reports. To all of us, it seemed that Eco was fine. But we’re not doctors. Until the medical staff cleared him, we had to stand by that.”

TH: “The GM also instituted a no-contact rule. Can you elaborate on his thought process regarding that?”

VD: “Listen, we all know that Jack hates Juni. Almost as much as he hates Alex Darling. We just can’t have a war going on in our company. It looks bad to our investors. The Board of Directors has planned this for some time. We keep those two away from each other and that’s one less huge spark that can set off a wildfire of anarchy that will injure talent, staff and our backstage workers. Frankly OOWF Medical cannot keep up as it stands. We just don’t have the manpower.”

TH: “One more...”

VD: “I’m sorry, Taylor, I do have to go.”

Deniro walks off and the in-story video ends. CUT back to Holt facing the camera.

TH: "I'm Taylor Holt, OOWF News, Calgary."

CUT back to studio.

JS: “Thank you Taylor for that report. Finally this morning, OOWF Tag Team Champions, Matt Folz and The Crusher Stan Fulton are standing by LIVE from Calgary in advance of their match against Beer Money on Wednesday at Midweek Mayhem.”

Summers turns toward a monitor which shows a live image of Folz and Fulton standing in front of a OOWF Interview banner.

JS: “Gentlemen, thank you for joining me this morning.”

MF: “Always a pleasure, Joyce.”

JS: “Wednesday’s match is not for your titles. Do you find it more challenging to prepare for a match that has lesser stakes?”

SF: “On the contrary, Joyce. We prepare for every match like it’s a championship match. Because when it comes down to it, each match gets mentally scored by the booking committee. If we were to take these matches lightly, lose and then somehow lose our titles later, we’d fall farther down the line of those getting title shots.”

MF: “We also have a reputation to defend, Joyce. We are Saints of Sinners. If we started to take things easy, others might think our group takes things easy. It’s a fine balance.”

JS: “Does having that reputation ever get tiresome?”

SF: “Sure, sometimes. But the benefits far outweigh the burden.”

JS: “Any short term goals for the two of you or individually?”

MF: “Hmmm. I’d like to get my Onslaught championship back from Jack Bullet.”

SF: “Always been a title you were made for.”

MF: “Thanks.”

SF: “For me? Mac Flasher is holding the championship I want next.”

JS: “You both have a second championship since the purchase of the PHWF.”

SF: “First of all, let me say that I do own the PHWF, but it will always be affiliated with the OOWF. Let’s clear the air there as there have been plenty of rumors. I’m not taking it to Anthem or letting anyone else run it. Second, there are some incredible wrestlers in the PHWF who do not get enough credit. The Draculs, Ember Blackpool. Puck Dupp as well. I could name everyone on that roster. They’re all worthy. But as for the champions, the booking committee met and made those presentations. But to make an announcement here, I just signed former OOWF talent Nick Fleming to a contract. He’ll be working house shows this week as a matter of fact.”

JS: “Any other signings you can mention?”

SF: “Not now. I’ll have more when I can.”

JS: “Do you plan on defending your World Championship, Matt, or the Tag Team Championships, Stan?”

MF: “Of course. When I’m told to defend it by the PHWF, I will.”

JS: “And Mr. Fulton? When will that be?”

SF: “All PHWF announcements will be made at the appropriate time.”

MF: “Joyce, we have another commitment to take care of. We have to go.”

JS: “OK. Thank you for your time.”

The screen goes black and Summers turns back to the main camera.

JS: “The OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Matt Folz and The Crusher Stan Fulton face Beer Money this Wednesday night at the Scotiabank Saddledome. Tickets are still available for the VIP Meet & Greet with Firewoman and Stank, Banned From Everywhere and Bridget O’Malley. Doors open for the general public at 5:00 pm local time. Bell at 7:00.

“I’m Joyce Summers. This is OOWF News, the voice of the OOWF.”

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene joins an OOWF house show in Medicine Hat, Alberta(Canada) as MOOSEHEAD JACK is defending his PWHF Television Championship against MATTY ALOUETTE. Well, having successfully defended his championship thanks to a Greco-Roman chain-aided left hook about 30 seconds prior. As MOOSE puts the boots to MATTY, an 8-bit cover of My Chemical Romance’s “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by 8-Bit Misfits plays. Through the confusion in the arena at the unknown theme, MAC FLASHER emerges from the back and walks to the ring, microphone in hand. As MAC enters the ring, MOOSE’s focus shifts from MATTY, who rolls out, and is squarely on MAC as he slumps in the corner. The bill of MAC’s New Era Pirates fitted is creatively curved to conceal his eyes, which are covered by sunglasses anyway. His normal yellow hoodie is as black as his cap, which is quite dingy and a bit dirty thanks to the recent beatings and scuffles. As MAC begins to speak, he looks down at the canvas and not at MOOSE (think MITCH HEDBERG’s posture when performing stand-up). MOOSE cracks his knuckles but keeps a curious distance from MAC*

MAC: “So, I’m sure a lot of people have noticed a change in me over the past few weeks. If not a lot, then just those who bother to seek me out on social media. I’ve read the tweets. The comments on my Button Mashers YouTube videos. On Facebook. Thanks to a clever fan who doxxed my information, a few text messages slipped to my iPhone. All of this since Sunday, when I got to return the favor from two years ago to the man in the ring with me, Moosehead Jack …”

*most of the crowd boos accordingly, though some cheer to drown out whatever MAC was saying. MAC pauses until the noise dies off*

MF: “As I was saying … I got to return a favor that I’ve owed to this man for two years. For two years, I’d look at this scar on my leg and remind myself that I owed this man a receipt. He gave me that opportunity on Sunday with that scalpel. I took it. When I came to, my phone had already blown up. ‘How could he?!’ … ‘He’s lost it!’ … ‘Mac Flasher has gone too far.’ … ‘This is not the man my kid should looking up to!’ … ‘Mac Flasher is no better than Moosehead Jack now.’”

*MAC pauses and takes a deep breath*

MF: “To those who are saying that I’ve abandoned who I am. Those who say that I’m now the bully. That I’m not the person who should be the face of OOWF … I apologize. My actions were not becoming of a champion in this organization.”

*a polite applause and chants of “WE FOR-GIVE YOU” (with clapping) fill the arena*

MF: “But for those fans who will understand what I’m about to say, listen up. For over 24 hours, I’ve thought that I went too far. That I had exceeded retaliation in the name of what I stand for, or what I’m told I should stand for. I’ve asked myself if I went too far. Did I, MacIntosh Quadra 9000 Flasher, go too far? … Go too far?”

*MAC pauses again and takes a deep breath before taking off his hat and sunglasses to reveal a wild-eyed expression (think WAYLON MERCY)*

MF: “And while it felt great, the answer I came up with is ‘I didn’t go far enough.'”

*an uncomfortable reaction arises from the crowd as MOOSE smirks*

MF: “While everything about that felt great. I know that I can go farther. That I can go to a place that even Moosehead Jack won’t go.”

*MOOSE gets nose-to-nose with MAC and can be picked up on the microphone*

MOOSE: “You better choose what you say very carefully! Juni already has his death hanging on his head for his comments yesterday! There’s nothing saying that I can’t end you right now if you say the wrong thing! Nobody in that front office can save you in time!”

MF: “Perish the thought. This is not about words, Moose. This is about action. This is about pain. This is about you and I. This is about a proposal that I know you won’t refuse.”

MHJ: “What do you want? Another stab at my leg?”

*MOOSE reaches for his boot*

MF: “No. That won’t be necessary. But I need you to listen very carefully.”

MHJ: “Spit it out!”

MF: “You. Me. At a time and date that works for you, and this front office. A House of Pain match.”

MHJ: “…”

MF: “So I have to explain. No worries. Picture this: An enclosed steel cage. No escape. No officials. The honor of two fighters. Each man selects five weapons unique to them. We can draft on an episode of MidWeek Mayhem if you’d like. But there’s also a kendo stick … Or a Singapore cane, if you prefer that terminology. That is quite important later. The first man to use all five of his weapons, which will be suspended from the ceiling of the cage, and keep his opponent down for a 10-count – which I’m sure that the crowd will handle in place of an official – gets to deliver 20 lashes with the kendo stick to his opponent. Whatever you can imagine short of murder is legal. And if there is no result within 30 minutes, charges around the ring will go off to make things more interesting.”

*MOOSE grins from ear to ear*

MF: “Do you accept, Moose?”

*MOOSE grabs the microphone*

MHJ: “Will you put that title of yours on the line?”

MF: “If ‘Dynamite’ Danny Taylor gives his blessing, then yes. Provided that I still hold this championship at that time.”

MHJ: “As men. Let’s shake on this.”

*despite the crowd urging MAC to not accept the handshake offer, MAC shakes MOOSE’s hand without incident*

MHJ: “Kid. You just signed your autopsy report. Sometimes you make things too easy.”

*MOOSE drops and rolls out of the ring while MAC stares him down as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<Cut to the back where Moose is sitting in the Destroyitarium drinking some "Trust Me" and smoking a cigar>

Mac, I'll give you credit, you walked into the Lion's Den and you made your demands, and you know your crowd. I've been in every kind of match you can fathom, I've shed more blood and broken more bones in those matches than any man alive on this planet. So when you come to me with an idea such as yours, I will admit to be curious, I will admit, you have piqued my interest.

But you see, Mac, while I do love me some mindless violence, this isn't what that is, is it? You need this Mac, you need........me. So, yes, the match will happen........when I say it happens........what you need to consider is this......

What's in it for me?

Perhaps wearing you out for 30 minutes isn't quite enough......

<Moose exhales a cloud of smoke and smirks>

How bad do you want it?

Sweeten the pot.

<Moose laughs and we fade to black>

[Sportsguy]

We fade in and see Matt Folz walking down the Hallway of Random Encounters. It just so happens that he passes by Ecosystem.

Matt: You know there's a difference between trying to get in someone's head and outright being an asshole.

Eco: What are you talking about?

Matt: "There were once three of them, wonder what happened to the third...." That's fucking crossing the line and you goddamn well know it. That's why Stan, Stank and myself all volunteered to be his choice. No matter who he picks, you're going to face one pissed off Saint. That was obviously the part of your little diatribe that pissed Moose off the most, I however was more enraged by another part.

Eco: Enlighten me.

Matt: "I want this place to go back to wrestling the Saints have perverted it." Seriously? You know you're talking to the best goddamn wrestler on the planet right? And that ALL of us in the Saints are at least two time Grand Slam winners? We are probably the most talented stable in the history of this industry.

Eco: You forget that I'm also a Grand Slam Winner.

Matt just glares at Eco.

Matt: Motherfucker you REALLY want to go there with me right now? Face it, everyone in the Saints can wrestle circles around you. And you know it, that's why you tried to hide like a little bitch until Fire finally forced your hand.

Eco: Hey, I was legitimately injured.

Matt: Bullllllllllshit. You could have been back months ago. But that's okay, I was patient and waited for you to be cleared. Once your new BFF Fire gets back, I have a challenge for you both.

Eco: What kind of challenge?

Matt just smiles and shakes his head.

Matt: Not yet, I'll be in touch.

Matt walks off as we FADE.

[snelson66]

FADE in on the Hallway of Random Encounters sponsored by eHarmony.com. ~!!WALKING is The Crusher Stan Fulton. He turns a corner and is blasted by a Singapore Cane shot to the face. Fulton bounces up against the wall and slides to a sitting position on the floor.

He looks up to see who leveled him and standing over Fulton is... Bing Bong!

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “You’re mad I left?! But I’m back now!”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “No! I was hurt and tired and ready to...”

BB: “(softer elephant noises)”

SF: “Yes. Just like Spin Hansen. I was in a dark place. I had to go and discover if there was life beyond this.”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “No. I didn’t think about anyone left behind here. I know I should have said something, but like I said I was in a dark place. I’m sorry.”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “I get that you were upset. But that’s no reason to smack me in the face with a kendo stick!”

BB: “(embarrassed elephant noises)”

SF: “What do you mean it wasn’t for me.”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “Really? You thought I was who?”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “Well I can see why you’d want to hit him. But I don’t look anything like him.”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “My steps sound like his?! Well you do have excellent hearing.”

BB: “(curious elephant noises)”

SF: “It was part of my martial arts training. You never know when you have to explain yourself to an elephant so we learned the language.”

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “Thanks.”

Bing Bong extends her trunk and helps Fulton up.

SF: “I don’t think you should be walking around striking wrestlers in the face with kendo sticks. Go find Fire. She could use some company.”

Bing Bong nods her head and turns away.

BB: “(elephant noises)”

SF: “Apology accepted.”

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (#869)
Live! From Calgary, Alberta
July 11, 2018

JERICHO HART vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK

The hometown hero gets a nice pop, then Moose absolutely slaughters the poor kid. Hart is bleeding within minutes and Moose is merciless. Hart manages a hope moment by connecting with a double jump drop kick that knocks Moose off the apron, but as Hart tries to pull Moose into the ring, Jack rakes his eyes and pulls him to the apron and hits a ran-hei! Moose rolls him back into the ring and locks in the ji-endo and Hart quickly taps out.
WINNER in 4:58 – Moosehead Jack

Moose isn’t done though, he pulls Hart back to his feet and hits a buisaku knee, then grabs HDB and is about to make Hart’s forehead into hamburger meat when Mac Flasher races to the ring! Moose slides out of the ring, smirking at Mac, who is brandishing a kendo stick. Moose slinks away up the ramp while Mac checks on Hart.

BEER MONEY vs. THE DARLINGS

Darlings get the win after Alex hits SYB with a Darling Driver and Alexis follows with a Phoenix splash.
WINNERS in 13:11 – The Darlings

SHANNON MANN vs. ECOSYSTEM

The match starts out surprisingly fast paced with Shannon Mann coming at Eco with her hands firing. The crowd cheering the start seeing Mann gunning for the former CEO. The attack catches Eco by surprise at first but he takes the advantage comes by knocking a pause into Mann . The pause gives him enough time to try and follow up but instead the quicker Shannon ducks under Eco’s rushing clothesline and rebounds off the ropes using a flying headscissors on Eco that does more than bring him down it takes him outside of the ring after the impact. The ref starts the count at that point. The ref gets to the count of 5 as Eco glares at Mann while she soaks up the cheers of the crowd standing tall. Sliding in Eco gets the match back underway and as soon as you thought Mann would keep the upper hand…Eco knocks her down to size once again with a mean right hand. The pause being much longer this time around and bringing Shannon to a knee which gets Eco backing up looking to match his boot against Mann’s jaw.

Shannon barely gets out of danger bending back in a show of quick reflexes .. Eco’s foot swings and misses but the follow up considered worse as Eco says fuck it and drops an elbow before she can adjust breaking her to the match and resorts to ground and pound throwing punches wherever they can land on the smaller Shannon. Eco getting in the most shots in this moment of the match and finally slowing Mann down two of the shots causing her nose to leak blood before he gets up satisfied at what he’s down taunting the crowd. The boos ring as he grabs at Mann forcing her to her feet and dropping her down with a over the knee backbreaker going for pin right after to a two count.

Shannon being pained but not quite out as the crowd cheers the little sign of life. Eco isn’t bothered though just stomps her a few times with an enjoying grin pulling at her to her feet once more but this time Mann those those desperation punches and low kicks. The punches don’t do much but the kicks actually begin to chop Markie down. As they trade the crowd gives the traditional “boo/yeah” tandem. Eco gets tired of this quickly kicking her low and pulling her into a powerbomb position he gets her up but that where his plans end…Mann taking control with a perfectly timed hurricanrana and keeping hold of Eco’s legs for the pin. Close but no as Eco kicks out before threeShannon doesn’t get discouraged as she gets to her feet. Both are much more slower at this point than in the beginning of the match but with Shannon rising to her feet first she sizes up Eco as he’s working to get back on his feet as well. Right before he does Mann is in motion running and springboarding off looking for the crowd squeals as Shizuru runs down that ramp and slides into the ring grabbing Shannons arm and attempting to pull her out of the ring. The referee immediately calls for the bell.
WINNER by disqualification – in 10:05 – Ecosystem

Shannon pulls away from Shizuru and slaps the taste out of his mouth, then rolls out of the ring and storms to the back. Shizuru slumps to the mat holding his cheek with a look of blind love on his face. Eco shoots him a strange look, then turns and heads to the back.

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS

BFE gives the champs a run, but in the end, Folz catches Justin with a top rope angle slam and Fulton follows with a dropline for the pin and the three count.
WINNERS in 17:01 – Saints of Sinners

SHIZURU vs. GHOSTHEAD vs. JACK BULLET

Not surprisingly this clusterfuck goes nowhere. Ghost is determined to get his hands on Shizuru and Bullet wants both of them. The match never exactly materializes as the three brawl around ringside. The referee finally has no choice and waves the match off, a clearly frustrated Jack Bullet grabs the mic after the match.

This is not what I signed up for. I hold this title <holding up the onslaught championship> because I am the best wrestler in the OOWF, the best PURE wrestler. So I am ending this, at Mid-Summer Night’s Scream, we are having us a three way Onslaught Rules elimination match, that way I can get my hands on BOTH of you!

Bullet slams the mic down on the mat and rolls out of the ring and storms to the back.
WINNER – No match

MAI MUYO, ZED & STANK vs. MAC FLASHER, KYLIE MIGNOLIO & BRIDGET O’MALLEY
The feed joins in as the ringside bell in Calgary echoes, well after Zed and Mac Flasher have paired off and exchanged heavy blows. Never one to be left out of a good brawl, Stank eyes a lariat on Mac just as Bridget O’Malley dropkicks him out of the ring. Mai Muyo and Kylie Mignolio also are brawling with Mai being a step too quick for her own good as Kylie matadors her into the ringpost. Mai slinks onto the apron and stands outside as Mac tosses Zed over the top rope battle-royal style, much to the delight of those in attendance in Calgary.

Kylie and Bridget nod at each other in approval while Mac has already opted to deliver more punishment through the air, choosing a suicide dive onto Zed while also knocking over Stank and Mai. Bridget and Kylie join the fracas on the outside as Angelo Barros begins issuing threats to throw the whole match out as the brawling has swallowed up any semblance of order.

Russ: “There are times where technique in the ring is the last thing on the mind of an OOWF wrestler. We have six cases of that right now.”
Razz: “Let these six go all night! Just give them whatever they need. Just … Make the magic happen!”

Zed is chased around the ring by Mac and rolls under the bottom rope with Mac a step behind. As Mac is climbing into the ring, BRICK~! tugs at Mac’s ankle, giving the Zed the opening to drape Mac’s throat across the top rope just as he turned around to see Zed. Mac drops to a knee on the apron as Zed brings him in and starts to work him over with forearm strikes and a few punches to the side of Mac’s skull. Barros deems those two to be legal as Zed drags Mac to the Saints and Pals corner and tags in Stank, all while Mai starts to choke Mac with the tag rope. Zed, Mai and Stank each get their turn at putting the boots to Mac as Bridget’s protests inadvertently draw Barros’ attention away from the shenanigans.

Mac falls face-first onto the mat after about 90 seconds of the beatdown, with Mai tagging in to stretch him out in a series of submission tries and a few nerve holds. Mai tags in Stank, who works Mac over with an assortment of throws and slams. Stank even teases Bridget by dragging Mac just far enough to stretch for a tag, but then taking him back to the center of the ring. Bridget again tries to charge in, only for Kylie to pull her back and explain that Bridget’s temper is not an asset at the moment. Barros spins around to see Zed holding Mac in a chinlock and sees nothing wrong with it, although there never was a recognized tag. Mac tries to power out of the hold, getting Zed off the ground in the process. Mac surges back and drop on top of Zed to break the hold and earn a quick respite. Mac tries to crawl toward his team’s corner, pulling within inches when Zed bounds across the ring to drill Bridget with a forearm as Kylie is yanked down by BRICK~!. Mac pounds the mat in frustration as Zed stalks him. Just as Zed tries to pull him toward the center of the ring, Bridget tags herself in and barrels through Zed and Mai, who just opted to interject herself into the proceedings. Stank also steps in and takes a dropkick to the jaw for his troubles. Kylie also hops in as the two women connect on three double dropkicks, first Stank, then Mai and finally Zed.

Mac sits in the corner and catches his air as Bridget and Kylie work on some sweet double-team moves on Zed, using Kylie’s speed to cross him up before Bridget rages on whatever is in her path. A lariat nearly takes Zed’s head off as Bridget loads up the O’Mallet, swinging wildly and missing Zed, but nailing Kylie. A distraught Bridget tries to check on Kylie as Zed rolls her up for 2.5, and that’s with the tights being held. Zed tags in Mai, who hops over the top rope and peppers Bridget with a series of kicks. A swinging neck breaker gets 2 just before a standing senton also gets two slaps from Barros. As Kylie shakes the cobwebs, Mac is trying to urge Bridget over to make a tag. Mai us backdropped over the top by Bridget, purely from desperation. Bridget then makes the slow crawl to her team’s corner, opting to tag in Kylie, who is legal for the first time in the bout. Her reward is Stank, who was tagged in by a recently reentered Mai. Stank mocking takes a knee to see eye-to-eye with the diminutive Kylie, who delivers a slap and a kick to the face for his troubles. A dropkick to the still-kneeling Stank gets 1 before Stank presses Kylie into her team’s corner. Bridget tags herself in, trying a pin and getting shot off at 1.5. Bridget tries again, waving Kylie in to pile on. Stank presses both off with ease as Barros refuses to acknowledge the double pin. Mac is waved in and drives an elbow to Stank’s sternum and covers him with Bridget and Kylie jumping on. No matter to Stank, who presses all three off and draws a respect applause from the Calgary faithful.

Stank picks up Bridget and tosses her into the corner before following with a quick splash in said corner. Stank holds Bridget in position for a Muscle Buster, before Mac makes a save with a dropkick to Stank’s left knee. Bridget falls mostly without harm, putting the kickpads to Stank as Barros is trying to figure out if those two are still legal. Bridget tries ti cinch in an STF, but can’t move Stank’s legs all that well. Bridget then opts for a Dragon Sleeper, standing while Stank is still on a knee. Stank is starting to fade when BRICK~! gets onto the apron, as Barros goes to chase BRICK~! off, Mai punches Bridget right in the throat, which draws in Mac. That brings in Zed and Kylie hops in, too. All six combatants are back to brawling as Barros is trying to pull Mac and Zed apart. Then Mai and Kylie. Finally, Bridget and Stank. All to no avail.

Another try at pulling Zed and Mac apart gets Barros a shove to the canvas. Barros immediately springs up and calls for a bell. Barros then waves over ring announcer Mike Elevenbee before relaying his decision.

Ladies and gentlemen, OOWF Official Angelo Barros has thrown this match out (18:48). The result of this match is a double disqualification.

While the decision is unpopular, the fighting inside ring has many still worked up. Zed posts himself on a corner charge, allowing Mac to usurp the steel chair that BRICK~! was about to slide in for Zed’s use. Mac starts swinging for the fences, clearing out Mai and Stank as Bridget and Kylie also take steps backwards as Mac still wields the chair. Finally Bridget talks Mac out of further chair-aided damage as the three stand tall, despite not being winners in the bout.

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