[Jack Quinn]

MidWeek Mayhem (#872)
Live! From Quebec City, Quebec
August 1, 2018

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Mac Flasher vs. Moosehead Jack

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match
TBA vs. Shizuru

Zed vs. Stank
Bridget O'Malley vs. Kylie Mignolio
Mai Muyo vs. Firewoman
Alexander Darling vs. Matt Folz
Stan Fulton vs. Alexis Darling
Banned From Everywhere & Ecosystem vs. Beer Money & Shannon Mann



Card subject to separatist movement interference

[L!zz~]

(A dizzy Kylie is rushing around putting her and Josie's things together)

Josie: (clutching her stuffed eagle watches quietly) Titi?

Kylie: Yes baby?

Josie: Did that man really want to hurt me? Did Uncle Fernando send him?

(Kylie stops what she is doing and quickly goes to her niece, gathering her to her)

Kylie: No baby. He didn't. He was just a stupid man.

Josie: (leaning into her aunt) Now Uncle Jack is in trouble.

Kylie: (rubbing her back as she starts to cry) It's ok baby. No one is going to hurt you. Uncle Jack is fine... Don't worry..

(Bridget enters the room and stops short, as Josie continues to cry and Kylie try to comfort her, BoM finishes packing up their things)

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is getting the "Welcome Back" treatment in the back, when suddenly she spies Shizuru-mume Maguniku. She still has the logging chain. Soon, Shizuru-mume has it around his neck.

SM: What....*gurgle*

FW: Are you that dense? Truck monkeys, roll.

Jul 1, 2018 8:35:17 GMT -5 Leo said:

SM: You maybe had understanding with Sizzlechest Manbeef, but not with Shizuru-mume Maguniku-Cox. Shizuru is no longer a child. He is a man. Man enough for Shannon Mann. Man enough for Kylie. More than man enough for Josie.

FW: I don't know if you know, but I have a thing about people threatening children, especially with that type of threat. Jack Bullet may have said that he'd get you if you ever touched her, but I am most certainly NOT Jack Bullet and I don't feel like waiting--

Fire is interrupted by Mai Muyo who grabs her from behind and puts her in position for a surprise END IS HERE out of nowhere. She stands over Fire.

MM: Attack one Saint, you attack us all. You should know that, Fire. Now, I'm happy to wait until we get to the ring, but we can settle this right here and now if you like.

Fire sort of rolls over, not looking like she's willing to settle anything right now. Mai and Shizuru-mume walk away. Ecosystem arrives just as Fire is getting to her feet, eyes laser-focused on the retreating Saints. She takes two steps before Ecosystem stops her.

FW: WHAT!

Eco: Work smarter, not harder. You'll ... WE'LL get your opportunity.

Fire takes a few minutes before finally calming down enough and nodding.

Eco: Besides....this is really my fault. I pushed him to the Saints....I set him up for all of this.

FW: ....

Eco: ....

FW: Well...look at you, taking responsibility.

Eco: It's a novel concept.

FW: You pushed him there, but they didn't have to....do what they did.

Eco: Of course they did. It's what they do.

Firewoman nods.

FW: I see you are back on the active roster. That will certainly help your credibility with the pitch to be CEO again.

Eco: You think?

FW: Yeah....I may have to rethink my strategy though.

Eco: How?

FW: I'll tell you when I've got it all sorted. Just....trust me.

Ecosystem nods as he and Fire walk away.

[Jack Quinn]

<Shizuru comes into the Destroyitarium, still rubbing his neck and carrying the OOWF Onslaught championship. He walks up to Moose, who is sitting with the OOWF World Heavyweight title, OOWF DDT Ironman Heavy Metal title and PHWF television title>

S: Shizuru proved he is great wrestler. He took Jack Bullet's title AND Ghosthead's wife. Shizuru owes it all to Saints of Sinners. Saints of Sinners show Shizuru how to take what he wants. Now that Shizuru has humiliated Bullet and Ghost, Shizuru wants Eco next. I will show supposed number one super genius what it feels like to mess with the Saints.

<Shizuru bows to all the Saints, they return the bow and Shizuru leaves the room with his henchmen in tow, leaving the OOWF onslaught championship on the bar, presumably for safe keeping. While this is going on, and Fulton and Folz put their titles where they belong - the Saints of Sinners display case? I dunno - Stank seethes in the corner>

MHJ: The cream rises to the top, as usual Mac. You were not ready to embrace the chaos, you couldn't just react when it mattered most, and now, I have this <holding up the OOWF world heavyweight title>. Folz, you get Alex, I would ask you to leave me some but.....

MF: I make no promises.

MHJ: And Fulton gets Alexis

SF: The natural order of things, if my partner faces Alex, I get Alexis. The thing that doesn't make sense is Lucas.

<Stank walks over to the group upon hearing his name>

S: Nah, it don't fucking make sense. I get that Zed is the champ, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want that title, but we've had a truce with Zed, he's worked with us, and now suddenly I face him.

MF: You've more than earned a shot

S: Of course I have, but that's not the point. Look, what does Eco have on his side, Banned From Everywhere.

13: and Fire

S: <shooting 13 a look> Eco knows he can't out gun us, so he is going to try to divide and conquer.

Mai: So, he thinks that by putting you and Zed in a match, it will weaken our truce with Zed

S: Exactly

MHJ: Yeah, but Eco doesn't have that kind of stroke with Danny or Vic, they can't really stand him either

SF: He doesn't............but Fire does

<Stank now shoots a look at Stan>

SF: Look Lucas, I am not saying Fire DID anything, but I am saying that she wants Eco to be the CEO again, and if Fire gets him that job, what's to stop Eco from appointing Fire GM? Fire knows that we are a HUGE obstacle to Eco getting control again, and she knows that Her, Eco and BFE are not going to get it done in the ring.

S: So, you're saying my fiance is sabotaging the Saints?

MM: We're saying it's a possibility

S: Well, this certainly leaves me in an unenviable position, now doesn't it?

<as Stank seethes, the rest of the Saints kind of start talking on their own. Moose walks over to Stank>

MHJ: No one said it would be easy

S: You got that gotdamn right

MHJ: You should probably go talk to her, did you even know she was back?

<without a word, Stank gets up and leaves the Destroyitarium and we fade to black>

[Sportsguy]

We cut to the Destroyatarium and see Moose's victory party (Minus Stank) still in full swing. Moose, Matt, Stan and Shizuru all hold their Championships in the air as Matt smirks into a ninja cam.

Matt: Take a look Eco. Take a good long look. This is the group you chose to go to war with. And we proved tonight that we can handle whatever you try and throw at us. You brought back Alex and Alexis to try and take these Championships away from Stan and myself....and to the surprise of absolutely no one they couldn't get the job done. Mac Flasher and Jack Bullet are phenomenal wrestlers, were worthy champions and I'm being completely sincere when I say they should be commended for how they represented this company..... but everyone saw tonight that they're not quite on the Saints level. So Eco, you can try and create dissension between the Saints and Zed by putting Stank and Zed up against one another this week. You can try and play head games with us. It won't work but we appreciate the effort. See you can't out smart us or mentally manipulate us because we have an ace in the hole.

Mai Muyo comes into view and Matt smiles as he throws an arm over her shoulders.

Matt: Tell me Eco, I'm genuinely curious. What bothers you more? The fact that Stan, Jaime and Myself have ALL been better friends to Mai than you've been a brother? Or the knowledge that Mai is indisputably better than you in every way. Think about it and get back to me, like I said I'm genuinely curious about your answer.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<cut to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository where we see Eco, Bill, Justin and Ellie May>

EMFE: So, since you appear to be a temporarily permanent addition to Banned From Everywhere, the higher ups thought it would be a good idea for you to do some local promo work

Eco: temporarily permanent?

EMFE: yeah, you're not going to be with us forever, but you'll stick around until something solid comes along for you to do

Eco: You mean, like regain control of my company?

EMFE: Yes, but when was the last time you advanced that storyline?

<Eco instinctively looks around for Kayfabe, but she is nowhere to be found>

Eco: Why doesn't she show up when you do it?

<Ellie May shrugs>

Eco: Look, I can't be fooling with this stuff, Shizuru spit in my face, Fire beat him up, and oh yeah, Fire's back

EMFE: Why didn't Fire beat Shizuru up for spitting in your face?

Eco: What? She did!

EMFE: No, she beat Shizuru up for threatening Josie

Eco: I am sure SOME of that anger was directed at him for spitting in my face

EMFE: You sure about that?

Eco: Whose side are you on?

EMFE: Yours, of course, look, about these local promos

Eco: There's no way

EMFE: Remember, the higher ups said they wanted this done

Eco: So?

EMFE: Aren't they the same ones that will decide whether you get your job back?

Eco: I........DAMN! Look, I am not so much of an "on the spot" promo kind of guy, I take time to craft my promos so they have the greatest impact, I mean <looking at one of the destinations> what am I going to say about MidWeek Mayhem from Richmond?

EMFE: Never fear, I've got a guy

Eco: Never fear?

<Ellie makes a brief call and in a few seconds, AA walks in>

AA: <looking around the Destroyitarium> OH! Love what you've done with the place! Going for that "redneck dive bar" look, so kitsch! Ok, I was sent here to get the absolute best promo from all of you, as you know I am Attitude Adjuster and I am the greatest promo man in OOWF history......

ABFD: THE Amplitude Adjudicator?

AA: The one and only! You may remember me from Hosting the OOWF Awards and Being the Best Promo Man In OOWF History

JS: Say, you used to be in a tag team......

AA: Yes I was. The GREATEST tag team in OOWF history, the Chickenshit Heels

ABFD: The chickens spit what now?

JS: Was that you and FF Capslock?

AA: No, that was Drink & Destroy, they were our enemies

ABFD: Oh! So yous the one in that chere team with ol Billy Dee Williams!

AA: No.....that was Weapon X, Fear Us or the Saints of Sinners

Arctic McBearington: I believe you are all mistaken, this gentleman teamed with JW Westgaard

AA: NO! That was wCw, Westgaard, Capellan and Wilder

ABFD: Oh son! That ol Tommy Wilder was good son!

Opus: <flapping his flippers and making noise>

AA: NO! That was Blackdragon and SoulDragon, and they were both black! How could that have been me! The Chickenshit Heels, me and Johnny Adrenaline!

JS: OH! Johnny Adrenaline! I remember him! He was like one of those old school heels that would run away instead of fighting, and liked to cheat a lot!

ABFD: SON! I REMEMBRIFY HIM! He done had that ol Adrenaline Rush movie! He'd cheat and run away, like a.......like a......uh..

AA: LIKE A CHICKENSHIT HEEL! That's what we WERE! That's WHO we were!

JS: Are you sure that was you?

AA: YES! Very certain!

ABFD: <eyeing AA carefully> Nah. Nope son. Ol Bill rembrifies everything and you warn't no Chickenstrip Seal

AA: <looking at Juni> TELL THEM I WAS IN THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS!

Eco: Can we just get on with this promo stuff?

AA: FINE! But when we are done, we are watching my 27 volume "Best of the Chickenshit Heels" DVD set. I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!

<AA storms off and gets the cameras ready for the promo work. Finally it's all ready and BFE and Eco are standing in front of the OOWF banner>

AA: Ok, just read from the script, ready in three......two......ACTION!

JS: Tired of the same old boring wrestling?

ABFD: Well hell son! We's in the OOWF and we is a comifyin to your town! And we rassle!

JS: OOWF wrestling is coming to Richmond, Virginia on September 26 at the Richmond Spiders Colosseum and will feature all of your OOWF favorites like Mac Flasher!

ABFD: Ol YY Zed!

JS: The Saints of Sinners!

ABFD: Bridget O'Marbles and Kylie Loco-Motion!

JS: Ghosthead and Shannon Mann

ABFD: Your Muyo and Shizuru Roast Beef!

JS: The Darlings, Beer Money and Firewoman!

ABFD: And of course, ol'Justin, Bill, Ellie May, Arctic McWhoopass an 3 Card Opus along with Ectoplasm!

JS: Ohh.....Bill, I'm not sure if we will be there

ABFD: Is we banned from there?

JS: WE ARE <crowd sings along> BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE!

ABFD: HOT DAMN SON! YOU DONE DIDIFIED IT! Son, what about them chere tickets what getify you into the door so you can see us whoop up on someone?

JS: Tickets are on sale NOW

ABFD: So if you ol boys, and female types wanna see some HAWT OOWF rasslin action........

<crickets until Justin pokes Eco in the ribs>

ABFD: So if you ol boys, and female types wanna see some HAWT OOWF rasslin action........

Eco: <in a flat monotone voice> Be sure to come down to the Richmond Spiders Arena, what warn't really no arena madea spiders cause that would be all sticky and have bugs what weren't dead all over it, but what is a real building where wes gonna have us some rasslin right before Hell what done brokified loose on Earth. See all your favorites rassle and whatnot. Hell son, hain't nothin. You give them ol ticket ladies some a them chere greenbacks and they donify print you up a ticket and whatnot. That's September 26, live from Richmond. Be there or be a three legged dog what tried to be in a knife fight but dogs hain't got no opposite thumb what made for holdifyin' a knife.

AA: ......AAAAAAAAAAAAND CUT! PERFECT! We can fix that little mistake in post. Great job! Sounded completely natural! Not as good as MY promos but hey, I am a genius

Eco: Perfect? It sounded like I read a part written for Bill!

AA: <putting his arm around Eco's shoulder and leading him away> Eco, Babe, it WAS written for Bill! We had no idea you would actually be part of this for so long

Eco: Wouldn't it make more sense for me to say it MY way?

AA: You could do that, you could. Or, you could allow this to show your range! Face it kid, YOU'RE the star! YOU'RE the one that's going to sell posters, YOU'RE the one the fans will LOVE!

Eco: You DO know who I am, right?

AA: YOU are a star. The women will be lined up around the arena to get in and see you!

Eco: So, no, you have NO idea who I am.

AA: It doesn't matter who you are!

<Kayfabe and the Rock walk into the Destroyitarium, Kayfabe points out AA and The Rock grabs him and DRIVES him to the floor with a ROCK BOTTOM!>

AA: ow

The Rock: The Rock says you can take your rootin-tootin-fresh and fruity, coco puffs lovin, gelatto eatin' impressions of the Rock, shine em all up real nice, turn em sideways and STICK THEM STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS! <the Rock takes off his sunglasses and raises the people's eyebrow and looks right into the camera> but remember kids, inserting things into your rectum is for adult's only, the Rock will not, and the Rock means he WILL NOT be responsible for anyone sticking anything up their candy asses, and the Rock has DAMN good lawyers!

Kurt Angle: Oh it's true, it's DAMN true!

ABFD: Hey! That's ol' Bert Anger! The guy what trainedified us!

KA: <noticing Justin and Bill> Hey boys! Good to see you again!

AA: Is someone going to help me up?

<Arctic walks over and grabs AA by the belt and lifts him to his feet>

AA: Now......where were we? Oh yeah! Someone get the cart with the TV on it cause I am about to TAKE YOUR ASSES TO SCHOOL!

<crickets>

AA: You know.......like the VCR and TV carts they had in school?

KA: Aren't you old enough to remember projectors in school?

AA: THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

The Rock: This promo is longer than an early 2000's HHH promo

KA: Oh, but WAY better

The rock: Oh, no question! <imitating HHH> I-uh am-uh the-uh greatest-uh wrestler-uh in the world-uh. Never mind-uh that I am banging-uh the bosses daughter-uh

KA: don't forget the water spit!

The Rock: <grabbing a glass of 'water' and taking a big gulp and immediately spitting it out and grabbing his throat while falling to the floor> THE ROCK SAYS WHAT IN THE NAME OF KAMALA'S PAINTED TITTIES WAS THAT!

ABFD: Oh hell son! You done drankified ol Bill's new PCPL concoction! <whispering> the secret ingredient is dumpster juice and industrial cleaner!

TR: THE ROCK.......MIGHT BE.......DYING!

ABFD: Nah son.......give it a second, the PCPL blindness should be kicking in right........about.........

TR: THE ROCK, CAN'T SEE

ABFD: Now. Hell son, that only lasts a little bit, then it's all happy and whatnot

KA: Hey, can I get some of that?

ABFD: On one condition son

KA: Name it

ABFD: Promise you won't let it affectify you, like, you hain't gonna go overboard and start drinkifyin' all a Bill's PCPL

KA: When have I EVER gone overboard on drugs or alcohol?

ABFD: Hmmm......well hell son! Your story done checkified out! Arctic, pour us a double!

TR: Man, you guys are the best, this is just the best, I love it here! You know what we should do? We should make a movie about this! Like, in real time! Like......now! HEY! We could all play ourselves! Wouldn't that be CRAZY!

AA: Ok, I found a tv! Get ready for the Best of The Chickenshit Heels DVD 1 of 27!

Eco: <on his phone> Hey Fire? I need you to get me out of here, as SOON as possible............the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository............some promo stuff.........yeah..........I know!...........I guess it was ok.........I mean AA said so..........no, that was Chris Cole, Ax-Man and Firechild............no, that was Outback Jack and Gatorbait.............right, yeah that's them...........total chickenshits...........right, anyway the Rock and Kurt Angle are also here.............it's a long story............yes, and that is why I need you to get me out of here........ok, bye

<the merriment continues while Eco waits for Fire, and we fade to black>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene joins “DYNAMITE” DANNY TAYLOR and VIC DeNIRO flanking a podium as OOWF World Champion MOOSEHEAD JACK and MAC FLASHER sit on their respective sides of the podium. MAC is joined by BRIDGET O’MALLEY while MOOSE is joined by a pair of ‘Trust Me’ whiskey bottles*

VIC: “As you are well aware, Mac Flasher will be granted his contractual rematch during this Wednesday’s MidWeek Mayhem in Quebec City. Danny Taylor has advised that Mr. Flasher would be wise to not risk voiding the return-match clause with any sort of attack on Mr. Quinn during the next two days … In recent weeks, Mr. Flasher had shown a side …”

*while VIC continues, a large mosquito enters the press area and a flies behind VIC as DANNY monitors the two combatants with a steely stare*

MOOSE: “OH NO! VIC TURN AROUND! THERE’S A MOSQUITO, HE`S GONNA BITE YOU! OH SHIT! VIC! I can’t watch this! Hey everybody, I can’t watch this!


MAC: “Well some of us are trying to!”


BRIDGET: “Mac! Please!”


MHJ: “WHO SAID THAT?! WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS JUST SAID THAT SHIT!? Was it you, Flasher? You skinny-ass looking motherfucker! TURN AROUND AND SAY IT AGAIN! TURN AROUND AND SAY IT AGAIN! TURN AROUND AND SAY IT AGAIN!”


MF: “Will you please be quiet?!”


BO’M: “Mac! That is the champion of OOWF!”


MF: “I don't care who it is, he's ruining this press conference!” 


MHJ: “Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. You have fucked up now.” *MOOSE sing-songs* “Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you have fucked up.” 


MF: “MOOSE, will you please be quiet?"


MHJ: “Suck my champion cock, BITCH! You fat-ass piece of shit, you tub-o-lard looking motherfucker. WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! HEY!” 


MF: “What.”


MHJ: “WHAT! I don't know why you're looking at me bitch, the speaker is at the podium, I ain't speakin’ up here. I'm trying to be informed right now.” 


MAC: “MOOSE, BE QUIET!”


BO’M: “Mac! Calm down!”


MHJ: “Listen to the woman, Mac! Calm down, just calm down. Calm down, just calm down. Hey! Speaky, stop the press conference, SPEAKY! HEY! HO! I gotta go to the bathroom. I drank too much Trust Me now I gotta piss.”

*MOOSE grabs an empty bottle of Trust Me* 

MHJ: “Oh, I got a bottle, it's a’ight, rewind the presser 5 minutes, though 'cuz that piece of shit was talking and I couldn't pay attention, so rewind the presser 5 minutes.

*MOOSE glares at MAC* 

MHJ: “And you shut the fuck up!"


MAC: “That’s it, I'm gonna do what I should have done a long time ago …” 


BO’M: “Mac, what are you going to do?!”


MAC: “I’m gonna beat him to death with this hammer.”

*MAC leaves his seat*


BO’M: “What? Mac!”


MHJ: “Whoa, what are you doing skinny? What are you doing you fat piece of shit? Where's he going? What's that fat piece of shit doing now?”

*MAC arrives at MOOSE’s seat at the press table*


MHJ: “OH SHIT! He's hittin' me in the butt, he's hitting my butt, don't break my butt, don't break my butt! He's breaking my butt!”

*the scene jumps to a newsdesk-style report*

ANCHOR: “Ladies and Gentlemen, that is what actually happened this night in Quebec City. OOWF officials and executives believe that the actual events were far too embarrassing for a wrestling promotion to endure, but Moosehead Jack actually got hammered in the ass so much that he died of being hammered in the ass …”

*footage of OOWF officials convening to pull MAC off of MOOSE is on display as the scene fades to MAC laying on a couch in the office of DR. DRE GAINES* 

MAC: “So, that’s pretty much how I’d see it going …”

DRE: “I see. Well, that’s your hour, Mac. Just be sure to hit Cara up with that copay on your way out.”

*MAC thanks DRE before exiting as BRIDGET enters the office at the invitation of DRE*

DRE: “Aside from being the whitest kid I know, I’m thinking Mac might be beyond my training and pay grade now. This obsession with Moose is only going to get worse until he gets a satisfying end.”

BO’M: “I know. I’m at a loss.”

DRE: “Just be his rock, even when he doesn’t want it. He’s going to lash out at you in frustration, but he won’t care about you any less. Be stronger than he is because he’ll need it.”

*BRIDGET'S expression is one of great concern as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman has freed Ecosystem from BFE's Bar and Grille and they are walking back to somewhere that isn't Nowhere.

FW: ... so I didn't exactly beat up Shizuru at all, your stupid sister intervened.

Eco: I know, I was there.

FW: For which she will dearly pay.

Firewoman stops walking and turns and looks at Ecosystem.

FW: You're okay with that, right?

Eco: Yeah, I mean....I mean I wish she WASN'T all tangled up with your brother and his friends, believe me. And...well, not to sound unappreciative, but ....

FW: You wish she was the one helping you.

Ecosystem nods.

FW: I get it. I've lost track of the number of times my brother has disappointed me.

Eco: ...

FW: ...

Eco: Anyway, thanks for--

FW: I told you, you can do well in the ring. Why are you wasting your time with BFE? I mean, they're good, but they are a comedy act. You are...well, I know from experience just how dark you can get...you could be one of the most intimidating opponents out there.

Eco: I just never had the--

FW: Mac should be RUNNING to your side. Team Eco should be FULL of anti-Saints people, but we're not, and I can't help but think it's because...well, I think everyone is waiting to see how serious you are about all this. No one wants to waste their time for a cause that even the one person who would benefit from most doesn't believe in.

Eco: ....

FW: Now on Wednesday, I'm going to try to kill your sister. Maybe you let BFE and Beer Money do the comedy, and you dominate Shannon Mann and get the pin.

Eco: ....you give good advice, Fire. Now, may I give you some in return?

FW: Sure....

Eco: Have you seen your fiance since you've been back?

FW: .....

Eco: You should go do that. Life extends beyond the ropes.

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA spots BRIDGET O MALLEY, KYLIE MIGNOLIO, and JOSIE enjoying lunch in OOWF Catering. BRIDGET and KYLIE are holding a conversation while JOSIE is watching a video mashup of “Four Things with Bing-Bong’s Greatest Things” on a tablet*

BRIDGET: “So … I honestly think we’d work great as a tag team. You’re plucky as hell and I can probably dish out a few good shots coming in off the tag. It may not be an immediate title reign, but … We’d get there.”

KYLIE: “Bridget. I love the idea, but we’re frenemies at best.”

BO’M: “That’s our team name! You’re a genius!”

KM: “Yeah, but there’s always that Mac factor involved. Like are we ever really going to trust each other?”

BO’M: “I’m not sure if I can trust Mac while he’s … This. But you’ve rarely given me a reason to not trust you, even when things got super heated between us. Just give it your thought, Kylie. I think we’d surprise ourselves.”

KM: “I will, but … Can I trust you?”

BO’M: “All I want is for someone to trust me. I’d walk across hot coals for that trust … Just …”

*KYLIE’s phone interrupts. KYLIE looks at her phone and sighs*

KM: “I need to take this. Bridget, would you mind keeping an eye on Josie? I’ll just be outside.”

BO’M: “Yeah. That’s no issue.”

*KYLIE departs as JOSIE continues to watch a video on her tablet while BRIDGET picks at the label of her bottled water. As BRIDGET starts to daydream, JOSIE startles her back to reality*

JOSIE: “Miss Bridget?”

BO’M: “What’s up, Josie?”

J: “Why is Mr. Mac sad all the time?”

BO’M: “Well … He is sad because … Well … Ummmm …”

*JOSIE reaches into a bag and pulls out a stuffed Donald Duck plush*

J: “Miss Bridget. Give this to Mr. Mac. When I feel sad, I hug Donald and think about happy things. It makes me feel better.”

BO’M: “Josie. That’s your Donald, I couldn’t possibly take that from you.”

J: “Then maybe you can find one for Mr. Mac.”

BO’M: “I’m not sure if Mac would be into the idea of … You know what? I will. That’s a great idea, Josie.”

J: “You mean it?”

BO’M: “I sure do. You’re an excellent idea person.”

J: “Thank you!”

*JOSIE lunges across the table to hug BRIDGET just as KYLIE returns*

KM: “Hey, kiddo. We gotta get back to the hotel. Get your stuff back in your bag.”

J: “OK!”

KM: “She wasn’t too much trouble, was she?”

BO’M: “Not at all. She showed me her Donald Duck plush. It’s all adorable.”

KM: “Well, I’ll just pay my end of the tab up front. You’re OK with me cutting things short?”

BO’M: “That’s no issue at all.”

KM: “Thanks for understanding. No cheap BS in our match tonight, right?”

BO’M: “None whatsoever.”

KM: “Awesome. Thank you.”

*KYLIE picks up JOSIE’s bag and takes JOSIE by the hand while she waves goodbye to BRIDGET, who is chewing on JOSIE’s wisdom as the scene fades*

[blownspot]

Fire is walking down the Hallway of Random Encounters when she bumps into her fiance.

FW - Oh ... THERE you are!

Stank - There YOU are.

FW - I've been looking all over for you.

Stank - Yeah I know. Spot's been super busy getting his first novel published.

FW - Oh yeah? Really? Spot wrote a book? What's it about?

Stank - Well it's a science fic-

FW - IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SPOT'S BOOK IS ABOUT!!!

Stank -

FW -

Kayfabe and The Rock once again show up on the scene. Kayfabe while rubbing the back of her head points at Firewoman, but The Rock looks up and sees the look on Stank's face that he better not try anything. The look on Fire's face is no more welcoming. Rocky alternates between looking at Fire and Stank before stepping over and shaking both their hands.

TR - Hey look, The Rock says it's a genuine honor to hear you use The Rock's catchphrase in your promo. Just do The Rock a solid and go watch Skyscraper in theaters now. If you smell what The Rock is cooking.

The Rock exits the scene as Kayfabe stands there incredulous, throwing her hands up in exasperation before following behind The Rock. Stank and Fire watch them go.

Stank - Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

FW - There's absolutely no way we're going to see that movie?

Stank - Gotdamn right.

Fade

[Sportsguy]

OOC: The promo made me laugh Spot, but that movie actually was pretty good in the "Shut your brain off" summer blockbuster way.

[Fire-Babe]

Aug 1, 2018 20:10:51 GMT -5 Sportsguy said:

OOC: The promo made me laugh Spot, but that movie actually was pretty good in the "Shut your brain off" summer blockbuster way.

OOC: Was it as good as the first time I saw it in 1988?

S: Why didn't you tell me you were coming back.

FW: So I could surprise you....so....SURPRISE~!

S: Yes, I was definitely surprised to find a logging chain swinging over my head.

FW: I think the important point is that it was indeed, swinging OVER your head. I was just trying to make a point.

S: Uh huh...

FW: You know Sizzlechest--

S: He prefers to be called Shizuru now.

FW: --was my target.

Stank looks at Fire sternly. Fire looks at Stank with...

S: Don't you play those eyes with me, woman.

FW: Don't you have something of mine?

S: Oh, you mean...this?

Stank produces the repaired engagement ring from his pocket with a flourish. Fire smiles broadly, and then regains her composure.

FW: Sure, whatever, I can get it from you after Mayhem.

S: I guess...if you still want it.

FW: I guess I better since we have a church all booked and stuff.

S: We do?

FW: Go talk to Shannon.

A bell goes off that alerts the backstage that it is 30 minutes to showtime.

S: Okay...I'll be sure to give it to you the right way.

FW: .....Did you mean to say ....that?

S: Totally.

Fire and Stank smile and then go to the pre-show meeting.

[Jack Quinn]

MidWeek Mayhem (#872)
Live! From Quebec City, Quebec
August 1, 2018

BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE & ECOSYSTEM vs. BEER MONEY & SHANNON MANN

BFE and Eco make their way to the ring first, this time no animals, they are just led by Ellie May. Beer Money and Shannon race to the ring before they are even announced and attack BFE and Eco from behind. The referee immediately calls for the bell and the match is underway!

This match never had much of a chance. The six of them brawl around ringside, with Beer Money and BFE really slugging it out on the outside. Inside the ring Eco grabs Shannon and traps her in the EcoLock (Rings of Saturn) Shannon howls in pain, which brings Shizuru to the ring. Shizuru gets onto the apron, but Firewoman is right behind him, she pulls him off the apron and unloads with punches and kicks. This brings Mai Muyo to the ring as well, she grabs Fire and the two of THEM brawl. When Eco sees Fire in trouble when Shizuru joins the fray, he slides out of the ring helps Fire fight off Mai and Shizuru. Shannon grabs Eco from inside the ring and lifts him onto the apron, lands a hard kick to the side of his head, then tries a suplex. Eco slips over Shannon’s shoulders, lands on her feet and hits her with a high angle German suplex! Eco bridges hard and Shannon cannot kick out before the three count!
WINNERS in 16:02 – Banned From Everywhere & Ecosystem

BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. KYLIE MIGNOLIO

Kylie picks up the win in a hard fought, clean match. Match TBAIL

STAN FULTON vs. ALEXIS DARLING

The war between the Darlings and the Saints has heated up, and the crowd can't wait for the next battle. Both combatants enter, and while they each have their packets of fans, for the most part the boos are echoing from the rafters. Not in the way that the crowd hates this match, but in the way that they're excited to see what these two do to each other. Bell rings, and they lock up and the larger, stronger Stan has the early advantage and he makes a valiant attempt to wipe up the mat with her. Alexis is back on her heels, and eventually, she has to roll out of the ring to catch her breath. She walks around for a bit, and Stan is having none of that. He reaches over the top rope to grab her hair, but what that really does is put him in arm's reach. Alexis reaches up and grabs his beard, pulling him down to guillotine him on the top rope. Stan staggers back as Alexis slides back in, with a glare and a "talk to the hand" as the referee admonishes her for the beard thing. She kicks Stan's knees to bring him to the mat, and then tries to get him into position for the Surfboard Curbstomp. She can't quite get it locked in, but that doesn't mean she doesn't' do some significant damage kicking at Stan's ribs and stomping on his hand. She grabs the hand and twists it around to a hammer lock, and uses the leverage to muscle him back up to his knees. With her other arms she applies some strong elbows to the back of his head. They're having the desired affect as she more holding Stan up than he's holding himself up now. She maneuvers him over toward the corner and, after a few more punches and kicks for good measure, she starts to climb. Stan is unconscious on his knees, and Alexis goes all the way to the top. She poses to soak in the boos, and flies....right into the waiting arms of a recovered Fulton, who plants her with a quick slam. Alexis's head bounces off the mat from the force, and Stan pulls her up to her feet. He steadies her, and then applies a chop (*woooo*). He steadies her again, and attempts the CLEAR CUT but Alexis's ducks! She grabs him from behind to try a BACKSTABBER~! but as she leaps up, he grabs her behind the neck and flips her over to the mat again. He climbs up the second turnbuckle and.... THE CRUSHER~! He makes the cover, one, two...THREE~!
WINNER in 15:55 – Stan Fulton

MAI MUYO vs. FIREWOMAN

They never make it to the ring. We cut backstage where Fire and Mai are still fighting from the earlier match. Both are bleeding and both are still tearing into one another. They fight into the concession stand and Mai tries to dunk Fire’s head in the deep fryer, but Fire blocks it and counters with a meat tenderizer to the side of the head. They fight out of concessions and into the merchandise area where Fire catches Mai and backdrops her right into Stank’s merch table! The table shatters and all of Stank’s t-shits, Funko Pops figurines, Stank’s “I’m Taking This” Jenga games, autobiography “Mah Stank: Lucas Mann’s Journey Through the OOWF” and finally his book of poetry “Drink, Destroy, Sinner and Saint My Thoughts on the Transcendentals” scatter all over the filthy floor. Mai comes up with Stank’s book of poetry and slams it in Fire’s face, getting blood all over it.

They continue to brawl, and it becomes clear they are not a bit interested in taking this to the ring. The referee finally waves the match off and security surrounds them both and finally pulls them apart.
WINNER – No Contest

MATT FOLZ vs. ALEXANDER DARLING

They lock up and Alex gets the leverage advantage to drive Matt back into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break and Alex obligies. They lock up again and this time it's Matt who walks Alex back to the corner. The referee calls for a break and Matt surprisingly agrees. They lock up for a 3rd time and this time Matt takes him down, slams an elbow to the back of Alex's head and rolls him into a half nelson cradle for a one count. Matt staggers Alex with a European Uppercut as both get back to their feet and then pulls him into a head and arm Folzplex. Snap Suplex and a swinging neckbreaker are followed by a picture perfect spinebuster for 2. Matt grabs him from behind and pulls him down into a dragon sleeper over his knee. Matt squeezes hard, and the referee checks that he's not choking him, and it appears he's not. Matt doesn't have him in the center of the ring though and Alex is able to extend a leg out and make it to the ropes to cause a break. Matt gives a clean break and then hits a powerslam. Matt scoops up Alex and slingshots him into the corner. Alex's head hits the ring post and it opens a small cut on his forehead. Matt with a T Bone Suplex and then sets up for the Angle Slam, but Alex slips off Matt's shoulders and chop blocks his injured ankle.

A bloody Alex pulls himself up by the ropes and then takes a second to catch his breath before turning and giving Matt a taste of his own medicine, focusing on the injured ankle with almost surgical precision. Alex works on Matt's ankle for a few minutes before he drags Matt to the corner. Alex rolls out of the ring and slams Matt's ankle into the post 3 times. Alex rolls back in to break the count and then rolls back out to slam Matt's ankle on the ring apron. Alex drapes Matt's ankle over the apron then backs up and hits a super kick directly to the ankle. Alex rolls back into the ring, picks Matt up and plants him with a snap suplex. Alex stomps on the ankle again before applying the Darling Money Clip. Matt struggles and gets to the ropes. Alex breaks, then picks Matt up and hits a Dragon Screw Leg Whip. Alex grabs Matt's ankle and puts on an ankle lock! Matt's in a ton of pain as Alex uses his own finisher against him. Matt reaches out and just barely gets to the ropes. Alex breaks and then picks up Matt and sets up for the Darling Driver, but Matt rakes his eyes and hits a DDT. Matt covers and gets 2.

Matt has to use the ropes to pull himself up and catches Alex with a lariat. You can see that Matt can barely move as he struggles to get Alex up for a brainbuster. Matt instead uses some UFC ground and pound, deepening Alex's cut with some hard elbow strikes. Alex is now a bloody mess as Matt grimaces and gets him up for an Angle Slam. Matt covers 1...2....Alex kicks out juuuuuuust before 3. Matt slaps the canvas in frustration and tries for another Angle Slam, but Alex reverses to a Darling Driver. Alex covers, 1....2...now it's Matt's turn to kick out with the ref's hand just a millimeter away from coming down for a 3rd time. Alex grabs Matt's leg again but Matt rolls him into a small package for 2. Alex is quicker up to his feet and nails Matt with a running knee. Alex covers for 2. Alex heads to the top but he's lost a lot of blood and is moving slower than usual, allowing Matt to crotch him on the top rope. Matt grits his teeth and climbs up and nails Alex with a Lambeau Leap! As they come down, the bell rings. The referee consults with the time keeper and then makes an announcement to ring announcer Mike Elevenbee.

ME: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that the 60 minute time limit has expired

Official Result: 60 minute draw

The crowd boos and starts a 'let them fight' chant, but it appears that neither man is able to do so. Alexis Darling comes out to help her brother up and Jaime Folz comes out to tend to her husband. The two women glare at one another but there's no further altercation as they help Alex and Matt to the back.

STANK vs. ZED

Stank and Zed are about to lock up when Bridget and Kylie make their way to ringside to do commentary with Russ and Razz. Zed and Stank both glare at them, then lock up and start the match. Long feeling out process here, but things are kept clean the whole time. BRICK~! is apoplectic with rage at Kylie and Bridget being allowed out there.

Stank and Zed put on a clinic for over thirty minutes. They fight along the ropes and the referee calls for a clean break, and gets it, when they break, both turn to Bridget and Kylie and flip them the bird. Now Kylie and Bridget are enraged. They tear off their headsets and hit the ring and the fight is on! The referee immediately calls for the bell, and since Bridget clocked Stank first, the referee declares him the winner via disqualification!
WINNER by disqualification in 30:14 – Stank

The four continue to fight around the ring until security shows up again and gets the four pulled apart. BRICK~! is even angrier, if that’s possible, and is verbally dressing down anyone who will listen.

TBA vs. SHIZURU – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Shizuru comes to the ring flanked by his henchmen. He steps between the ropes and takes off the Onslaught championship and holds it high in the air, and the crowd nearly boos him out of the building. One of his henchmen bring him a mic

Shizuru is a man of great honor. Shizuru said he will make Shannon his bride, Shizuru took Shannon from Ghosthead and made her his own. Shizuru said he would take the OOWF Onslaught championship from Jack Bullet, Shizuru is now the OOWF Onslaught champion. Ghosthead and Jack Bullet are cowards. Ghosthead could not, WOULD not, defend his wife, and Jack Bullet assaulted a fan to get out of personally getting pinned by ME.

As Shizuru is talking, Ghosthead’s music plays. Shizuru waits by the ropes looking up the ramp, but Ghost comes to the ring through the crowd, carrying a chair. Ghost slides into the ring and Shizuru turns around just in time to avoid the chair shot. He bails out of the ring and his henchmen follow him up the ramp. Now Ghost has a mic

Shizuru make no mistake boy, when you put your hands on my wife, you crossed a line. You may think this is fun and games, but I promise you this: When I get my hands on you, you will SUFFER like no man has ever suffered before. When I get you in this ring again, I will tear you to pieces you vile pretender to the throne. Shizuru……..your days are numbered. You have angered the wrong man, and I will focus all that rage, all that anger into one very specific goal………ending your wrestling career. Namaste

Ghost grabs the mic and walks to the ropes to glare at Shizuru. Shizuru feigns confidence,
but his eyes show he is terrified.
WINNER – No match

ZED vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

“I Get Wet” (but 8-bit, because Mac is still a big fan of video games and stuff) plays as Mac Flasher enters the ringside area, Mac’s shoulder looks empty without the OOWF World Championship, but he’s hoping to remedy that as his walk to the ring is deliberate and pretty much somber. Mac rolls under the ropes and eyes Mel Creech before “Scarecrow” cuts in to bring out Moosehead Jack and his newly won OOWF World Title. Moose smirks at Mac before walking toward the ring. Mac leans over to get a piece of Moose, who is able to pull away without harm each time. Finally, Moose commands Creech to hold Mac away before he’ll enter. Moose climbs through the ropes and eats the bottom of a Converse All-Star to send him back to the outside as Mac tore away from Creech’s grip and into a pre-match brawl. Mac follows Moose to the outside and hammers away with a series of forearms and a standing lariat.

Moose reels back, but slugs Mac with a set of brass knuckles to put him on his back. Moose starts to stomp away at Mac before the challenger comes to, kips up and barrels through Moose with a running shoulder block. Mac whips Moose from pillar to post to barricade as OOWF officials pour out from the back. They manage to separate the two and urge, at least, Mac to go inside. Moose breaks free of his zebra prison and starts throwing plunder into the ring with Mac favoring the kendo stick, which is what greets Moose as he climbs in. Mac wears out Moose with the kendo stick as Creech waves off the match as Moose regains his feet and drills Mac with an empty bottle of Trust Me.

Ladies and gentlemen, OOWF referee Mel Creech has disqualified (0:00) both men. Therefore, Moosehead Jack is still OOWF World Champion.

Mike Elevenbee’s announcement riles up the fans in Quebec City as the two men continue their weapons-aided brawl, somehow successfully keeping OOWF officials out of the ring – strictly in fear of their own safety.

Russ: “Mac Flasher has turned into an animal and I’m not sure that he realizes that he blew his rematch.”
Razz: “The match never started. Mac will still get it, though it might be a long time before OOWF executives let these two men get in the same ring.”
Russ: “Still … This is not what anyone expected in Quebec City.”
Razz: “Speak for yourself. This was brewing in Mac since Johnstown in April when the Saints pummeled Bridget, Mac and Ecosystem.”

Mac gains enough of an edge to get Moose in a waistlock and drive him face-first into a steel chair in the middle of the ring. With Moose dazed, Mac picks him up and puts him in position for a Flash Drive on the chair, before Creech and two other officials intervene. Moose takes advantage of that pause to rake Mac’s eyes to gain his release and a Greco-Roman low blow gives Moose a chance to inflict his damage as he wraps a chain around his fist and immediately starts working the ribcage of Mac. Moose corners Mac with the fists before pulling out a pair of handcuffs. While Moose tries to cuff Mac’s wrist to the top rope, Mac headbutts Moose and sends him stumbling back. Mac grabs the discarded OOWF World Title and stares at his reflection and notices that the nameplate on the front has yet to be changed before loading up and braining Moose with the frontplate of the championship. Moose falls flat on his back as Mac reaches into his pocket and produces a hammer. Before Mac can strike, Bridget O’Malley leads a charge of OOWF wrestlers to the ring to prevent Mac’s soon-to-be-drastic act. Bridget tries to calm Mac with Kylie Mignolio, Banned From Everywhere and Ecosystem acting as a human wall between the two.

While Bridget is trying to calm Mac, Moose takes a swig of Trust Me from his flask before producing a lighter and spitting a fireball …

… Into Bridget’s face as she unknowingly turned around into Moose’s path. Mac drops to his knees to tend to Bridget as Banned From Everywhere, and Kylie start to assault Moose before the Saints of Sinners arrive to create a standoff. With OOWF Medical tending to Bridget, Mac tears into the Saints blockade of Moose as the feed cuts out.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Hell on Earth 14, September 29, LIVE! from Asheville, North Carolina! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! August 8th live! from St. John’s. Newfoundland & Labrador!

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