[Lucky]

Monday we'll start up with the first round of matchups and we'll see the 1st round of the Who Done Her? and Pirates and Porn Brackets. Here's a quick profile of what you can expect to see on Monday morning. I'll provide some small pictures here just to help remind people of who these ladies are but I'll provide better ones on Monday. Feel free to add your own here but I'm not going to bog down this post with big pictures or spend my time looking for them just yet. These might even be red xs.


Pirates and Porn Bracket
(1) Keira Knightley vs (16) Tera Patrick[/b]
THE motivation for our bracket's name will take place first as the #1 overall seed Keira Knightly will face porn star Tera Patrick. Keira tied in the finals of the 8 Lady Tournament that inspired this Showdown so its only fitting the star of Bend it Like Beckham, Pirates of the Caribbean, Domino, and Pride and Prejudice gets the top seed and first showdown. Tera Patrick on the other hand is the last lady to make the cute having made her name as one of the few porn stars in the world I actually recognize and wife of the scary looking lead singer of Biohazard Evan Seinfeld. Does the buxom beauty stand a chance against the waifish favorite? We'll see.


( Kate Bosworth vs (9) Erica Durance
Great Ceaser's Ghost! What a coincidence! Superman Returns' Lois Lane squares off vs Smallville's Lois Lane! Which young woman is the hottest current Lois Lane? We'll find out for sure right here! And if you suspect I set this up I assure you that if I had I would have made sure the winner had a shot to face Teri Hatcher next round who would have found herself facing a surprising entrant of Margot Kidder.


(5) Jennifer Connelly vs (12) Ali Larter
Well, in Beautiful Minds Jennifer Connelly had to deal with one schizophrenic and now it looks like she has another one on her hands. The woman who's been a sex symbol for 20 years faces off against the lady who first jumped on screen 10 years ago giving Dawson a hard on in whipped cream and now annoys geeks the world over every Monday night on Heroes. Can her hotness overcome how annoying her career's been? Does Jennifer's hotness in bad movies in the 1st half of her career beat out her not so hotness in the good movies of the 2nd half? Will Solly readopt that horse gif in support of her?


(4) Alyssa Milano vs (13) Alyson Hannigan
Is this just the complete opposite of types of hot, or what? Can Buffy's Willow Alyson Hannigan carry her insane cuteness and accessability to beat the just INSANE hotness of a woman that's been exciting men since she was 16 20 years ago? Can any perversion performed in band camp with a flute compare to the Poison Ivy and lesbian vampire movies of Alyssa's skank phase?


Who Done Her? Bracket
(2) Evangeline Lily vs (15) Emilie de Ravin[/b]
Twice in one tournament? First we get 2 women playing the same role facing off and now 2 women starring on the same show? Lost sends a heavy favorite out there with dangerous and sexual Kate and against her is the sweet and innocent mother Claire. Who holds the hearts of Lost fans? And why didn't Sun make this tournament?


(7) Rebecca Romijn vs (10) Missy Peregrym
The former Mrs. Stamos draws herself a relative unknown in this round. Easy matchup? We'll see. Missy turned heads and dropped tongues with a late appearance on Heroes and made me watch Stick It quite a few times to see here in spandex. Rebecca on the other hand has been hot for awhile even though I can't think of a damn thing she did other than covering herself in blue makeup. Can Missy hope to compete or should she wish that this tournament started NEXT week after her show came back on the air? Could I find a decent small picture of her from google image? Doesn't this one make it look like she's looking at Rebecca's boobs?


(3) Rachel McAdams vs (14) Hayden Panettierre
Its a pair of favorites that I don't much care for facing off here! Rachel's developed a huge following from her work in films I thought were overrated such as Mean Girls, Wedding Crashers and Red Eye but Heroes' Hayden has quite a support group herself from going through puberty in a cheerleader outfit in TV. Does that fact that its illegal for most of us to have sex with her hurt her chances or will creepy pervs win out?


(6) Natalie Portman vs (11) Beyonce Knowles
Adorable goes up against bootylicious! Does it make me creepy that I found Natalie a little hot back in The Professional? And in similar regard how did My Father The Hero's Katherine Heigel not get a single vote in this tourney? She's got an amazing body, has been on TV or film for more than a decade, and is on one of the most watched shows on TV. Can you tell that I have nothing worthwhile to say about this matchup? Its the last one I have to write and I figure these are two extremely recognizable ladies.




Polls go up Monday! Feel free to argue your sides in here until then! And by "argue" I mean with pictures of hot chicks!

[williamssl]

luckylopez said:

Poles go up Monday!

Fixed

[Chris Eco]

None of these people made my list, save Beyonce. I'm going to go on record supporting Alyson Hannigan hard though. Alyssa Milano is overrated, and Alyson Hannigan has that really intangible beauty factor going on. Like, striking, but not in a "Take A Gander At Those Bazoombas"* way.

*Dave Barry quote, or at least paraphrase.

[Batman]

I think I'll save the "I think I'm leaning towards so-and-so," and "convince me!" type posts for the individual threads, once they're up on Monday.

[Lucky]

You can but remember you run the same risk that happened in the last showdown. Poll opens and people vote. You then have less room to convince people to your side. The idea behind these Preview threads was to give people room to argue women before others vote. But if noone wants to use it Lord knows I can save all the time I came up with all that wonderful wit.

Really, I'm a genius writer. Can't you tell?

I tied Beautiful Mind to Heroes. I mean, cmon!

[Batman]

So the preview thread is where we're supposed to try to sway votes in advance? Sorry, I misunderstood.

I don't feel too very strongly about any in this batch, but I'll post what arguments I have sometime this weekend.

[Lucky]

That was the basic idea. Loki played with this idea in the last showdown. When you open a poll people vote. They don't stop to hear arguements. So Loki was opening up preview threads a few days in advance to promote arguements and give people time to field arguements. You could make a case for a woman in her thread but if I've already voted, what does it accomplish? The preview thread gives time for that case to be made before the vote is cast.

At least that was my thinking. Again, Loki ditched it after awhile and if it seems pointless then I will too because it takes some time to write that up. I'm not pushing anything. I just figured it made sense to do it this way to help make a case before people rush to vote. Seems most people vote on the 1st day a poll opens. They'll stay open a week but then you're playing to the stragglers.

BUT I TIED BEAUTIFUL MIND TO HEROES! SOMEBODY LOVE ME! I REFERENCED POISON IVY 2! I EVEN REFERENCED THE PROFESSIONAL!

Makes me glad that my initial writeup for Wednesday's crew was pretty uninspired and I didn't waste time on it. Feel like Jeb here. Only instead of a 5000 word essay I wrote up paragraphs on hot chicks and pop culture references.

[Batman]

tldr

[Lucky]

Err?

EDIT: Ohhhh....

TLDR

1. (internet) too long; didn't read

[edit] Usage notes

* TLDR used as a response on message boards when a user posts a long or boring message.
* It is also used as a standard reply to RTFM.
* Also the name of a popular "off topic" message board, The Tldr [1]

You suck.

[Batman]

Couldn't resist.

[Lucky]

I hate you.

So does she. She'll whip you. Not in the good way.



That's 10 seed Missy Peregrym, fellas.

[Batman]

There's a bad way?




Too lightly?

[Lucky]

Oh, you can be whipped bad... I mean... wait, is that Angelina chugging bourbon? Ok. Maybe you're the wrong person for this threat.

SHE'S HOT!

[Loki]

luckylopez said:

That was the basic idea. Loki played with this idea in the last showdown. When you open a poll people vote. They don't stop to hear arguements. So Loki was opening up preview threads a few days in advance to promote arguements and give people time to field arguements. You could make a case for a woman in her thread but if I've already voted, what does it accomplish? The preview thread gives time for that case to be made before the vote is cast.

At least that was my thinking. Again, Loki ditched it after awhile and if it seems pointless then I will too because it takes some time to write that up. I'm not pushing anything. I just figured it made sense to do it this way to help make a case before people rush to vote. Seems most people vote on the 1st day a poll opens. They'll stay open a week but then you're playing to the stragglers.

The reason I stopped doing it was because by the time we got past the first few rounds most of the arguements had already been made. You can only say "You should vote for XX" so many times. Besides, once you got past the first few rounds it seemed to me most people already had their minds made up as to who they preferred.

I think this one could be different, though. There's a big difference between "Which show did you like more as a kid? Smurfs or GI Joe?" vs. "Who do you want to have wild monkey sex with more? Tera Patrick or Rebecca Romjin Stamos?" For opening these things up the conversation threads are definitely the way to go. At least, that's my opinion.

Besides, I like your write ups.


On to the discussion: I don't get the fascination with Knightely. Her big scene in "Domino" was strictly meh, I thought. Cute, yeah, but no better than half a zillion other chicks out there.

Tera Patrick, on the other hand? Tall, vaguely latin, legs that would make the pope kick out twelve stain glass windows, great body, huge bazooms, long hair, can screw like no one's business? I'm surprised she came in so low.


(Yes, I know. Double entendre. I'm going for Lucky/Eco clever writing.)

[Lucky]

loki said:

Besides, I like your write ups.

THANK YOU!

Patrick is weird. I HATE porn chicks. And I don't watch it. But she is one of the few I really know. And I know her well enough to know there was a time she didn't have giant fake tits that look like some sort of weird clown porn. And when she didn't? God I thought she was hot. But with big fake clown tits? God I hate that. Which is the reason I hate porn chicks. Yet, I can't find shots of her not having giant fake clown tits.

I'm actually a bit surprised Knightley is SO popular that she's the #1 overall. But still, I'd be shocked if this matchup sees Patrick getting even a few votes. I'm thinking 12-3 here or something around there.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

luckylopez said:

Really, I'm a genius writer. Can't you tell?

I tied Beautiful Mind to Heroes. I mean, cmon!

Color me impressed. You're a great writer, whether it's talking about current events, sports and teh boobyz. Great job.

[Batman]

GET SOME compliments, LUCKY!

[williamssl]

Knightley vs. Patrick: Knightley
Bosworth vs. Durance: Leaning Bosworth but open to argument either way
Connelly vs. Larter: Connelly
Milano vs. Hannigan: Milano
Lily vs. de Ravine: Lily (although extremely surprised she's as high of a seed as she is. Lost recency factor has clearly helped her)
Romijn vs. Peregrym: Romijn
McAdams vs. Panettierre: Leaning McAdams
Portman vs. Knowles: Portman. That SNL gangsta rap digital short she did just made her so cool in my book.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

williamssl said:

Knightley vs. Patrick: Knightley

Yup.

Bosworth vs. Durance: Leaning Bosworth but open to argument either way

I always liked Kate since Blue Crush...

Connelly vs. Larter: Connelly

No brainer.

Milano vs. Hannigan: Milano

Another no brainer.

Lily vs. de Ravine: Lily (although extremely surprised she's as high of a seed as she is. Lost recency factor has clearly helped her)

Who doesn't love Freckles?

Romijn vs. Peregrym: Romijn

Yeah, haven't even heard of the other one.

McAdams vs. Panettierre: Leaning McAdams

Embrace your inner pedo and go with Hayden.

Portman vs. Knowles: Portman.

Hell yeah.

[DevSop]

Knightley vs Patrick: I don't want to have Keira advance that far, but I'll take her over the porn chick for now

Durance vs Bosworth: A year or 2 ago, this would have been a Bosworth no brainer (Blue Crush, Young Americans, Wonderland) but she's turned into the twig look I can't stand. And Durance is fucking amazing on Smallville. Her stripping episode and the original Aquaman episode were A+ in hotness factor.

Connelly vs Larter: Larter, anyone that pulls off the whip cream bikini and then a raving dual personality psycho and stays as hot in both kills the old chick.

Milano vs Hannigan: Another one that woulda been different a few years ago, but Milano ruining baseball franchise after baseball franchise by seducing their pitchers and then ruining a semi-decent show in Charmed by being an egotistical bitch has swayed my vote to the uber-adorable Hannigan who can bring the sexy when she needs to.

Lilly vs De Ravin: Complete toss up for me. Lilly's got that athletic hotness that's just awesome, but De Ravin's got the accent and the petite look with the big boobs. I'll probably go with Lilly, but my vote could be swayed here.

Romjin vs Peregrym: Seriously, if you haven't seen Stick It, watch it and enjoy the hotness that is Peregrym. Again, the athletic hotness will beat out the bleached blonde blah hotness in most cases. Missy all the way.

McAdams vs Hayden: 6 simple words; Vote for Cheerleader, Vote for Hotness

Portman vs Knowles: Portman fucking kills Knowles. The Star Wars Queen beats Jay Z's queen. Hell, Beyonce isn't even the hottest member of Destiny's Child or her own family. Where's Kelly from Destiny, and the other Knowles sister from the Bring it On movie with Hayden.

[DevSop]

Just to add to one of the above matchups:

A vote for Durance is a vote for America:

[The Jewish Cunthead]

More Connelly love:


NSFW
NSFW

[Chris Eco]

loki said:

(Yes, I know. Double entendre. I'm going for Lucky/Eco clever writing.)

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

Anyway, I'm going to need to keep out of this forum during the regular week for obvious reasons, but here's how I'm going:

Knightley vs. Patrick: Knightley. Patrick sucks. Clearly, this is what you meant by my clever double-entendres.

Bosworth vs. Durance: Bosworth, because I don't really care and I'm standing up for that movie.

Connelly vs. Larter: Connelly. Meh.

Milano vs. Hannigan: HANNIGAN!!!! I will change all my votes for help here.

Lily vs. de Ravin: Yeah, I would have put Sun over both. I'm saying de Ravin here, because she's cute and Lily is overrated.

Romijn vs. Peregrym: I like Peregrym's looks, and guess what, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO BASE MY VOTE ON AND IT'S JUSTIFIED!!! I could see myself voting for Romijn the round after.

McAdams vs. Panettierre: McAdams was on my list, so goes my vote. Wait...no she wasn't. But the...other girl from Wedding Crashers was.

I think my point here is that you're all horrible, horrible perverts for voting for Panettierre. You are even worse than I was for voting for Sanjaya. Who I am now regretting not making my #1.

Portman vs. Knowles: Knowles. All I'm picturing is bald Natalie from V for Vendetta. And no, that's not an invitation for photo evidence of the skinny little Israel girl.

[Lucky]

devilsoprano said:

Portman vs Knowles: Portman fucking kills Knowles. The Star Wars Queen beats Jay Z's queen.

Ohh, that's good. I could have used that when I was blanking on anything interesting to say about them. Beyonce bores the crap out of me and Portman's only really caught my attention in Garden State, which wasn't exactly her being a pinup girl.

[salmonjunkie]

Knightley vs. Patrick: Knightley. While I like Tera's -ahem- "work", Knightly is just hot.

Bosworth vs. Durance: Durance. Bosworth has no tits.

Connelly vs. Larter: Connelly. This matchup does very little for me.

Milano vs. Hannigan: This was hard. Hannigan went from being stupid Willow and "band camp" girl to a spicy little red head that I would fuck like a wild animal. Milano has been gorgeous for fucking-ever, but I dont' think I ever wanted to fuck her brains out as much as I do Hannigan right now. But damn do I remember running around town with my buddies trying to find Embrace Of The Vampire to rent back in the day. I ended up going with Alyssa, although, on another day, I may well have voterd for Alyson.

Lily vs. de Ravin: I like them both for different reasons and still have not decided. I think I'm starting to lean towards deRavin and her cute-as-fuck accent.

Romijn vs. Peregrym: Romijn is pretty, but Peregrym is HOT.

McAdams vs. Panettierre: McAdams was GORGEOUS in Wedding Crashers.

Portman vs. Knowles: Portman. She's not "hot" persay, but I like her a lot. There's somethign just beautiful about her. I guess I'm drawn to her public persona of being this really smart chick who is also really cool, too.