Zed is loading his gear with Reverend BRICK~! lending a helping hand. Zed walks out of the locker room and stops to look at next week's card for Doomy Doomy Doom Doom 12 Live! from Salem, Massachusetts.
Z: Hm. They must think there's a chance Kylie will be back next week.
B: You sound disappointed.
Z: *caught slightly off-guard* No! No. Not at all. Just ... surprised. That's all.
B: Do you want me to offer your services again for next week, just in case? Another show of stewardship and faith?
Zed glares at BRICK~!
Z: Who the fuck are you?
B: Language! Let us consider the words of Paul in Ephesians -
(Hours later, under the supervision of Bullet, Kylie, who regained consciousness long enough to tell Josie to be good and she loves her, than was sedated, has been settled into a local facility where she will undergo surgery)
(The various bits and extensive pieces of the OOWF, it's hallways, rooms and hot tubs have been packed away, the roster is in various stages of sleep, plotting, and debauchery. But here in the hospital, it is mostly quiet as the INC works it way down the hallway. Beeps and buzzers. Low murmurs of conversations.)
(The INC pauses outside a door, unable to open it without giving itself away. With luck it is only a few minutes before the door is propped open)
Nurse: (to someone inside) Please, ring the bell if anything. The surgeon will be in to speak with you soon.
(INC slips inside showing Kylie in her bed, various IVs and monitors around.)
Voice: Thank you. I appreciate the hospital letting me in to see her and stay.
Nurse: We always accommodate next of kin when we can. I'll be back in a while.
(As the nurse leaves, the INC turns towards the voice, showing Beverly Cambridge standing by her sisters bedside)
Bev: (touches Kylie's hand) You have to pull thru this. They ended one career, they can't end two.
Post by DrMcAwesome on Oct 25, 2018 10:16:16 GMT -5
*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER at a question and answer session in the children’s ward at an unnamed hospital in Santo Domingo*
MAC: “… But I guess time will tell on whether or not BRICK~! and Zed are making these changes for good or to just trick us once again. OK, I gotta get to the airport soon. I have time for one more question …” *MAC squints and looks to the back* “…The young lady in the Bing-Bong hat.”
YOUNG LADY: “Have you felt shame in losing the OOWF championship to Jack Bullet?”
MF: “No. Jack is an amazing competitor and a great champion. I feel no shame in losing to him, but I guess I do feel like my second reign was cut short. I mean, nobody is going to retire from OOWF as champion, but I felt like I was just hitting my stride as champion … Some nights you just get caught by the better wrestler. At Hell on Earth, Jack was the better wrestler, but we could fight 100 times and each get 50 wins … ”
YL: “When are you going to win it back?”
MF: “Oh … Wow. I mean, I’m still waiting for my rematch, which the OOWF Championship Committee is working hard at scheduling I’m sure. All I can say is that when I get my chance, I’m not going to waste it.”
YL: “Mr. Mac … Some of us would like to see you win the belt again and we don’t have a lot of time. Will you promise us that you’ll get it back soon?”
*MAC pauses mid-thought*
YL: “Please …”
*MAC takes a deep breath*
MF: “I can see why Bridget declined this appearance … OK. I’ll make you all a promise. One year from today, no matter where OOWF is touring, I will come back to this hospital as OOWF World Champion. Whether I beat Jack Bullet …*the KIDS cheer* “… Moosehead Jack …” *the KIDS boo* “…Kylie Mignolio …” *a JO-SIE chant breaks out* “…Zed …” *the KIDS react with a mix of applause and jeers* “… Or anyone else on the roster; I’m coming back on Oct. 25, 2019 as your OOWF World Champion. Is that a deal?”
*the able-bodied KIDS in the room rush the stage to hug MAC while he sighs deeply again as the scene fades*
FADE in on a press conference. Standing at a podium is former OOWF Intercontinental Champion Nick Fleming. Behind him is a campaign-style banner proclaiming “Nick Fleming for OOWF Champion” in large block lettering. Plenty of stars and bars complete the design. Random SFJs ask questions.
SFJ45: “Mr. Fleming, you’ve said on more than one occasion that Jack Bullet doesn’t love America.”
NF: “Now let me stop you right there, missy. I’ve said no such things. These promos are bought by outside money and not by me. I’ve vowed to put a stop to these types of promos and when I’m OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, that’s just what I’ll do.”
SFJ45: “Your name is on each ad as Treasurer."
NF: “That's fake news!”
SFJ81: “Can I ask a question?”
NF: “I doubt it, but go ahead and try.”
SFJ81: “What makes you deserving of a World Championship match?”
NF: “I am an OOWF Breakthrough Star of the Year. I am a two-time Intercontinental Champion. And Trent Powers and I just beat Mac Flasher and that bad person, Jack Bullet.”
SFJ62: “Why do you continue to incite hate against Jack Bullet?”
NF: “I do no such thing. You journalists pick and choose my words and make it look that way. Certainly, it may be true that Jack Bullet was behind the Saints attack of Kylie Mignolio, but I don’t have any proof. But I think we can be pretty sure.”
NF: “Look. You can put a reporter in with the Saints and you’ll find Jack Bullet people. They’re there. Always trying to make it about them. Jack Bullet is trying to discredit Nick Fleming with every chance. It’s a conspiracy.”
The reporters are in stunned silence.
NF: “We’re done here. Fleming for OOWF Champion! The OOWF Needs Nick Fleming! Hashtag ONNF!”
Fleming waves to the non-existent cheering crowd and walks off as we FADE.
"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet sits in the Santa Domingo Airport waiting for his flight to Salem. He watches OOWF clips on his phone and sees the one from Mac Flasher promising a bunch of sick children he will win the OOWF World Championship back within a year, even if he takes it back from Jack Bullet.
JB: Ah, hell!
He then sees the press conference from Nick Fleming where he proclaims Bullet was behind the Saints attack on Kylie, maybe, sort of, who knows.
JB: Ah, double hell!
He then looks up to see Firewoman walking in. Bullet puts his phone down and stands up. Awkward silence hangs in the air.
FW: I don't like you.
JB: The feeling is mutual. But if we have one thing in common, probably the only thing, it's how much we love Josie. I understand why Kylie made me her guardian and you the backup.
FW: Where is Josie now?
JB: Dorothy agreed to stay on as her nanny, so they're looking through the gift shop now. I was hoping to catch you so we could talk alone. I have a lot going on. Nick Fleming is not just coming for my title, but my reputation. Mac Flasher is coming for my soul, making a promise to a bunch of sick kids I kind of hope he can fulfill. I don't think I can take care of Josie by myself, even with Dorothy's help.
FW: Lucky told me that courts in these situations look favorably on married couples.
JB: Carl, the good one, told me the same thing. If it's in Josie's best interest, and I know it is, I'm willing to sign papers giving custody to the secondary guardian and spouse, but...
FW: But this needs done immediately and we can't wait for Iceland. I understand that. Stank and I knew this would never go off without a hitch. When we get to Salem we can get the license and a quickie wedding. Goddess help me, I guess we can probably get BRICK~! to do the ceremony.
JB: I'll be there with Dorothy and Josie and then we can sign the other papers. The quicker we get Josie into a stable environment, the better it will be for her and keeping Fernando away.
Firewoman nods slightly and Jack returns it. She starts walking again, stops and turns her head back to Bullet.
FW: Hey, when you gave Fernando that tornado DDT yesterday...nice...kind of stole my thunder, but nice.
She smiles ever so slightly, Bullet returns it and we FADE.
Firewoman is back in the Destroyitarium on the phone.
FW: So I've been spending all day on the phone trying to arrange an officiant but apparently getting married by a witch in Salem at Halloween is a popular touristy thing.......I'm sure Lucas will be fine with it.....Yeah, nothin' is easy with me.....thanks for getting it all worked out, anyway........Nah, once you cancel the venue, just go ahead and take a vacation.....Justin is doing fine.......Take some time off, you deserve it.....I am NOT stoned......Okay, see you in a week or so.
Fire hangs up as Stank walks in.
FW: Heeeeeeeey, best fiance ever....
Stank scoops Fire into his arms for a kiss but then stops.
S: No, you never...and I mean NEVER....greet me like that.
FW: Well, you know, I really should. I should be more...um...wifelike.
S: Uh huh.
Stank sets her down.
S: C'mon....out with it.
FW: It's good news really.
S: Did Lucky get everything squared away in Iceland?
FW: Yes, but we aren't going to need it.
FW: No because...well, we have to move the date up.
FW: Like tomorrow...or tonight, depending on if I can find --
S: It's not that I don't want to do this, I would have married you months ago--
FW: Years, even.
S: That's not tru....okay, yes it probably is--
FW: So yay! Off to the chapel....or...wherever.
S: I would still like to know why. Mostly so I can tell mom and grandma.
FW: Oh....well, it's ... um....
FW: I kind of imagined this whole thing going another way, but....well, you know....kids do better with parents in a stable relationship and--
FW: --although that's no guarantee, since Sean and Rose were married--
FW: --and they were basically the complete and total opposite of stable, but--
S: Are you....are we.....
FW: Getting married?
FW: What? No!!!!
Fire explains what Kylie set up and what Jack said, and all in her usual run-on-sentence-without-taking-a-breath-way, when Stank puts two fingers on her lips.
S: So....we're adopting Josie?
FW: Mmmph...mmm mmmmn mmm--
S: Oh sorry.
Stank removes his hand.
FW: No, I hope not. I mean, Kylie will probably be fine but this will protect Josie from Fernando, because if he think he's going to lay a hair on her head, he will get a ride on Fire's Wheel of Fate.
S: ....like Shizuru?
FW: So, um....
Fire grins and gets down on one knee.
FW: Will you marry me? Like...now?
Stank scoops her back up again and spins her around.
S: Yes, you crazy woman....
FADE before they get too carried away for PG13. See all the details on OOWF After Dark, for only $12.12 a month!
Between matches on OOWF Thursday Night Throwdown, the crowd boos as "Laser Cannon Death Sentence" plays and The Saints of Sinners make their way to the ring. Matt grabs a microphone.
Matt: We're aware you don't like us and none of us really give a shit. But whether you believe this or not, we really do care about this company as a whole. You know who doesn't? Junichiro Muyo. He doesn't care about you fans, He doesn't care about his sister, He doesn't care about this company, He only cares about himself.
The crowd continues to boo.
Matt: Boo me all you want idiots, you know what I'm saying is the truth. He's already gone back on his word. Everyone saw him agree to retire at Hell on Earth, then all of the sudden he had a quick change of heart and wanted to stay on as an active wrestler. Specifically in his words "To get revenge" on us. Well Juni, we're not usually in the habit of doing you any favors but today is your lucky day. We're here now to issue you a challenge. November 28th in Tibet China, in a match of our choosing: The Saints of Sinners against yourself and any 4 people you can scrounge up to team with you.
Now I feel it fair to point something out to anyone who might consider teaming up with Eco. Not only does he not give a shit about any of you, but I want you to take a real good look at us. What you see here right here and now in this ring is the most talented and accomplished group of wrestlers EVER assembled at one time in the history of this sport. 4 of us are at least 2 time Grand Slam Champions and between all 5 of us we've won every accomplishment and every award there is to win. You want to roll the dice and take your chances against us? Good luck. I don't think you'll have to worry though, I doubt Eco has the stones to accept our offer.
The Saints begin to leave as "Happy" begins to play and Ecosystem makes his way up the ramp with a microphone in his hand.
Eco: I don't need any time to think about it.... YOU"RE ON! (The crowd goes nuts) And I don't think I'll have any trouble finding partners to go up against you, you don't have too many friends in the back there.
Matt: And you do?
Eco: Maybe, maybe not. But I guarantee I can get a team to work together for one night.
Matt: You just signed your death warrant.
Eco: We'll see Matthew, we'll see.
Eco walks to the back, the Saints smirk in the ring as we.........FADE
Zed sits in the airport terminal early Thursday morning, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie and rarely-seen sunglasses and reclined (as much as the terminal seating allows) with his head propped against a wall. We hear his phone vibrating, and Zed leans forward just enough to pull his phone out of his pocket. He answers the phone...
The camera comes up on a small chapel with a few pews and a big wooden cross hanging on a wall behind a small pulpit. Stank and Firewoman walk in dragging their luggage behind them on wheels.
Stank: I can’t believe the Salem Airport has a chapel.
FW: It’s probably a leftover from the witch trial days. Put God everywhere you can.
Stank: I know you wanted to wait until we hit Iceland, but if this is what you want, this is what I’ll do.
FW: I only want this because it’s the best for Josie. She being taken by a married couple will look better to the courts. I’m just thankful that you’re willing to go along with all this.
Stank turns to Firewoman and pulls her close.
Stank: If it’s what you want, it’s what I want. I don’t know about becoming an instant family, but we’ve been through worse.
Jack Bullet then walks in with Josie cradled in his right arm and her arms around his neck. Dorothy comes in from behind. Stank and Firewoman break from their embrace.
JB: I know you’ve been talking with Lucky in Iceland and he’s been talking with Carl….Sack, not From Fresno…. To handle all the paperwork. He said he gave it to BRICK~! Lord help us all.
With that a bright light shines behind the lectern and then slowly fades to reveal BRICK~!
BRICK~!: Ask for the Lord’s divine aid and you shall receive it.
FW: Let’s get this over with before I remember how much I want to pound you into dust.
BRICK~!: Fine. You get the el cheapo service. Stank do you take Firewoman to be your lawfully wedded wife. Stank: I do.
BRICK~!: Firewoman, do you take Stank to be your lawfully wedded husband.
FW: I do.
BRICK~!: Jack Bullet and Dorothy Mantooth do you witness these nuptials.
DM and JB in unison: I do.
Josie: I witness too!
BRICK~!: Great. Firewoman you sign here…Stank you sign here…Dorothy here…and Jack here…and Jack you need to sign the custody papers giving joint custody to the secondary guardian and spouse. And everyone, real names please. Everyone signs. Josie gives Bullet a fierce hug.
Josie: You will still see me, Uncle Jack.
JB: Whenever “Auntie” Firewoman allows me to.
FW: I don’t think I can give you a free pass to the Destroyatarium, but we can arrange some meetings.
Dorothy: We should all go trick or treating this weekend. I bet you there are some churches around here having Trunk or Treats. BRICK~! probably knows some.
They all turn and look at BRICK~! who is studying the paperwork.
Firewoman narrows her eyes and is immediately suspicious by his tone of voice.
FW: BRICK~! what did you do?
BRICK~!: Nothing, it’s nothing…well, I guess it’s something.
FW: Brick~! what did you do?
BRICK~!: Technically I didn’t do anything. You guys did it, under my guidance, but not me directly. Firewoman shoots out a hand, grabs BRICK~! around what could be considered his neck and runs him into the wall.
FW: I’m not asking a third time.
BRICK~!: Well, you see, Jack and Stank didn’t quite sign in the right places on the marriage license, but Jack did sign his paperwork right to give Josie to secondary guardian and spouse, but the spouse isn’t named in the form and during the ceremony Jack did say I do and you and Dorothy did sign correctly…
FW: SAY IT!
BRICK~!: In the eyes of God and the state of Massachusetts, Firewoman and Jack Bullet are married and have joint custody of Josie.
Firewoman fires out her other arm and punches a hole straight through the wall. BRICK~! slipped out of her grip at the last minute.
BRICK~!: My work here is done.
The light glows around BRICK~! again and fades to show him gone. Firewoman looks back at Stank, Jack and Dorothy who all have their mouths wide open. Josie leaps out of Jack’s arms and wraps herself around Fire’s legs.
Josie: Yay! Auntie Firewoman and Uncle Jack are married and together!
Stank: Remember what I said earlier. This is way worse.
Josie: Mr. Stank you can come by and visit us whenever you like. Are you with Nanny Dorothy now?
FW: No. No! NO!
As Firewoman’s piercing scream fades so does the scene and what’s to come next, wait and see. Anyone want to tackle a reception promo, go for it.
Firewoman is SITTING~! at a local bar which is all decked out for Halloween and full of tourists. And when I say "sitting" I mean kind of slumped over on her bar stool, laying her head on the bar, several shot glasses scattered about her.
Bartender: Hey, lady....go somewhere else to sleep it off.
Firewoman looks up and hisses at the bartender, who has seen pretty much everything in Salem around Halloween.
BT: Very nice....you got 5 minutes before I'm t'rowin' you out myself.
Fire puts her head back down, but is disturbed by laughing and applause. She lifts her head to a VERY amused Alexander Darling, who is also responsible for the ovation.
AD: Nicely DONE, Fire!
FW: Go to hell.
AD: Now now...is that anyway to greet your ex accidental husband?
AD: Or would that be your FIRST accidental husband?
FW: I am not in the mood for--
AD: Hm...now THAT is something you've never ever said. I know, because--
FW: Shut. Up.
BT: Hey, is this dude bothering you?
BT: Okay buddy, out--
AD: First, I'm not your buddy. I could buy this place, knock it down, rebuild it, and pay for it to be demolished again. Second, I'm here to take her off your hands.
FW: *slurring* No, you fucking are not.
BT: Well, then do that and both of you get out.
Alex drapes one of Fire's arms over his shoulder and gets her to her feet, and drunk-walks her out the door, where two cars are waiting. But first, he sits her on a bench and sits down next to her, before busting out laughing again.
FW: Gee, I'm glad you find this so amusing.
AD: *still laughing* I'm sorry, Lee, this is just so....YOU.
AD: When are you going to learn? You let someone ELSE plan your life, and this is ALWAYS what happens.
FW: Is this you helping?
AD: Just think...you've basically just pinballed from situation to situation, no control, just kind of letting it happen, and then when it all goes horribly wrong and when it all comes crashing down, you sit around bewildered about what just happened.
AD: I mean, take OUR marriage....
FW: Please...let's not.
AD: You let everyone else plan that as part of the big OOWF vs. WWE thing and look what happened.
Fire suddenly sobers up a bit. Anger will do that.
FW: Look what happened? LOOK WHAT HAPPENED? What does us getting drunk and staggering into Attitude Adjuster's wedding chapel have to do with--
AD: Do you remember what you said to me at your bachelor party?
AD: You didn't want to marry Jericho.
AD: And not just in a big splashy televised ceremony...
FW: ......I guess I vaguely remember that....
AD: And instead of just SAYING that, and getting GMtheRick to call off the supershow, and giving Jericho that incredibly gaudy ring back--
FW: It wasn't--
AD: It totally was. This--
Alexander grabs her left hand and holds it up, with her current engagement ring on it.
AD: THIS suits you.
Fire pulls her hand away angrily.
FW: Well, thank you very much for making me feel even WORSE about the latest relationship I've ruined.
AD: *batistalaugh* You haven't ruined it. This is not the same. This is different.
AD: Like I said. You didn't WANT to marry Jericho....you DO want to marry Lucas.
AD: Now the way I look at it, this is a slam-dunk for Lucky to have it declared invalid, so don't go canceling everything in Iceland just yet.
Alexander gets up and offers his hand to help Firewoman to her feet.
AD: *smirking* What are ex-husband-soulmates for?
Fire pulls her hand away, annoyed, and tries to stand on her own.
AD: OKay, c'mon....that car is yours.
AD: If we come back in the same car, I'm pretty sure Lucas or someone else would try to kick my ass.
AD: Thank YOU! I haven't laughed that hard for weeks.
Alex gets in the car quickly, still laughing, avoiding the handful of garbage Fire throws at him. Fire snarls as she watches his car go, and then gets into her own.
Post by DrMcAwesome on Oct 26, 2018 17:45:02 GMT -5
*an INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA finds MAC FLASHER and BRIDGET O’MALLEY sitting by themselves at a table in the building that was supposed to be hosting the wedding reception of FIRE WOMAN and STANK, but now seems to be hosting the reception of FIRE WOMAN and ‘SILVER EAGLE’ JACK BULLET, unbeknownst to BRIDGET and MAC. As BRIDGET leaves the table to drop off their gift to the newlyweds – a very stylish blender that wasn’t on the registry, but who doesn’t need a new blender? – MAC reaches under the table to produce something that will definitely spoil his appetite before the main course is served. MAC is three bites in when BRIDGET returns*
BRIDGET: “Mac! What the hell?”
MAC: “No. I’m not letting you ruin this moment.”
BO’M: “You’re going to get that all over your jacket … You know, the one thing that doesn’t have a logo of some Pittsburgh sports team.”
MF: “Bridget, I’ve been eating McRibs for decades … I’m good.”
*MAC takes a bite and drips sauce all over his jacket*
MF: “Damn it!”
*MAC pulls his lapel up and tries to lick the sauce off before BRIDGET slaps him*
BO’M: “Where the hell are your manners? Good money was paid to make sure that we’re eating well tonight and you brought a McRib?”
MF: “I brought eight.”
BO’M: “I can’t believe you! What would possess you to do this? I mean, this is a very special day for Fire … And you’re … She’s going to kill you.”
MF: “Look. Fire is going to have like four more weddings before we’re all retired, but McRibs are a limited-time only event. I had to act fast when I saw them yesterday.”
BO’M: “So you got eight?”
MF: “Only because they limited me to eight at McDonald’s.”
*before MAC can retort, JACK BULLET walks in and sits next to MAC and BRIDGET. JACK, a bit distraught, just puts his head in his hands*
MF: “Jack … What’s wrong? You OK? Is Josie OK?”
JACK: “Nobody is in danger, but it’s been a day …” *JACK sniffs the air* “… Do I smell McRib sauce?”
*JACK looks at MAC’s jacket*
JB: “Got any more of those, Mac?”
MF: “I … Ummm …”
*BRIDGET reaches under the table and tosses the bag at JACK*
BO’M: “He doesn’t, but you have like seven now.”
MF: “Bridget?! What the hell?”
*JACK tears into the bag while MAC tries to salvage at least one more from the bag as the scene fades*
Post by Moosehead Jack on Oct 26, 2018 19:25:20 GMT -5
<Moose turns around and we see Stank walk in, looking none too happy. He walks up to a bar and demands a bottle of Trust Me>
MHJ: That does not look like the face of a man that just got married.
Sta: It's not
Sta: She married Jack Bullet
MHJ: SHE MARRIED WHO THE FUCK WHAT NOW? Oh, someone is fucking DYING tonight....
Sta: It's not what you think
MHJ: It better not be
Sta: Jack and I signed in the wrong place......I am sure Lucky can get it cleared up
MHJ: Yeah, cause he has a fucking BRILLIANT track record of that!
Sta: ...........oh fuck
MHJ: Oh fuck indeed, where's my fucking sister?
<Moose storms off looking for his sister, he finally finds her just getting off the phone with Lucky, she sees Moose and starts to walk the other way>
FW: Do NOT start with me Jackie
MHJ: don't you fucking Jackie me, what did you do?
FW: <stopping and spinning on Moose> I......sort of married Jack Bullet
MHJ: How the FUCK do you sorta marry someone?
FW: Lucas and Jack signed in the wrong place! So.........technically it is THEIR fault!
MHJ: IT WAS YOUR GODDAMN WEDDING! HOW CAN ONE PERSON POSSIBLY BE SO BAD AT GETTING MARRIED?
FW: I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE TO DO ALL THE DETAILS OF MY OWN WEDDING!
MHJ: HELLO? CONTROL FREAK!
FW: Yeah well......I......
MHJ: Wasn't your JOB as commissioner to look over LEGALLY BINDING GODDAMN CONTRACTS?
FW: That was DIFFERENT!
FW: THEY WEREN'T MY CONTRACTS!
MHJ: THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
FW: IT WASN'T MY FAULT! It was BRICK~!'s
MHJ: WHAT? How was it HIS fault?
FW: He filed the paperwork!
MHJ: WHY DIDN'T YOU JAM THE PAPER DOWN HIS THROAT AND MAKE HIM REDO THE CEREMONY!
FW: You........you can do that?
MHJ: Oh my FUCK!
<Moose turns and storms away, he spots BRICK~! walking down the hall. BRICK~! stops and tries to blend in with the wall>
MHJ: I FUCKING SEE YOU!
<Moose grabs BRICK~! by what we assume is his throat and slams him against the wall>
BRICK~!: <choking> You Quinns certainly go right for the throat EVERY! TIME!
MHJ: BRICK~! I am going to ask you a simple question, and if you don't answer it to my liking, they are going to use you to gravel the driveway of the God Complex. Now.........why..........did.........you.......file.........that.....paperwork
BRICK~!: For Josie
MHJ: <loosening his grip> WHAT?
BRICK~! Brother Moose <Moose shoots him a look> Moose.......there needed to be a married couple to keep Fernando from seeking custody of Josie. I know it was intended for Fire and Lucas to get married, but we needed to get the paperwork in immediately, Fire and Jack will do just as well until we can get things straightened out
Later...Stank is walking in a cemetery where the just-past-full moon has illuminated it such that you don't really need a flashlight. Unless you're Stank, who is not as good at this as his spouse...er fiance...er....yeah. Finally he finds her, announcing his arrival by tripping over a tree root.
He walks more gingerly past the tombstones to where Fire is leaning against a huge obelisk, flask in her hand.
S: I knew I'd find you here.
S: *sarcastically* I was actually here earlier for you, but that was when you were at a bar instead, which your <df>"soulmate"</df> knew, soo....
FW: Aw, don't be jealous....
S: I ain't jealous.
S: He's wrong, you know. So is Moose.
S: This wasn't your fault. It wasn't mine. We can blame Brick all we want, but it probably wasn't his either. We were all in such a hurry to help Josie that no one was paying attention.
FW: Yeah...still, they're both right. I don't know, Lucas....Lucky thinks he can get things back on track but they already bent a BUNCH of rules so he's not sure now....maybe...maybe we're just not meant to--
S: Don't finish that sentence.
FW: Lucas, you know I'm a mess. So what, this time I technically didn't screw up, but what about the next time, and there WILL be a next time....
S: Stop. We're going back to the Destroyitarium, we're going to eat the food that Brick bought out of his own pocket--
FW: Do bricks have pockets?
S: --YOU are going to sober up so you can train to get ready for the Muyos in a few days.
FW: Okay....but seriously what if it never works?
S: You see this ring? *He pulls on her engagement ring which doesn't come off, per usual* It's still stuck here. So there's no getting out of it, you. No talking bricks or damn soulmates are going to change that. If you don't get that by now, then you haven't been paying attention.
S: Thank you.
They link arms and start to walk away.
FW: You know...I don't believe in soulmates.
S: Mm-hmmm...of all the weird shit you believe in, that you don't.
They walk along for a bit. Then Fire stops.
FW: The time I always wake up.
S: That you don't know why.
FW: That I've always SAID I don't know why. I've never told anyone. Including Alex.
S: ......I figured you told him everything.
FW: Not this.
FW: So I'm going to tell you.
S: You know, Lis', you don't have to--
FW: That's when Rose...that's what time she woke me up to take me out of the house and run away.
S: Moose doesn't know?
FW: Not really...we were so poor we were sharing a room, and she only could wake me up before Sean noticed, and after he belted her a few times, she managed to get away and grab me with her. I think I heard him crying and Sean probably gave him something to cry about, but I don't think he's ever made the connection.
S: Huh....wait, Dr. Freedman thinks you repressed it!
FW: *batistalaugh* Pffft....I was saving it up for a day he needed a lift. He gets so proud of himself when we have a <df>"breakthrough"</df>
S: .....I don't know what to say.
FW: Say you'll take me home and have your way with me.....or.....ever done it in cemetery?
“Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet sits at a table with a crumpled empty McDonald’s bag on it. All of the would-be revelers have left. Moose devoured an entire Fudgy the Whale cake. Shizuru brought a three layer wedding cake as a peace offering to Fire that Folz and Fulton power bombed him through just because. Somehow Bullet feels drunk even though he hasn’t had any alcohol.
Voice: You want a drink bad, don’t you?
Bullet turns to find, out of nowhere, Mama Juana sitting next to him.
JB: I’d ask how you got here, but it’s probably pointless.
MJ: The cards were screaming for you Jack Bullet. Sometimes the future slowly creeps in, sometimes it rushes like a freight train.
JB: I feel like I got hit by a freight train.
MJ: This is your journey. Where it goes is not up to fate, but you working within the confines of fate. You know why you haven’t taken that drink and you know why being married to Firewoman only feels like a minor annoyance.
JB: Because of Josie.
MJ: Because she’s the Empress. She the one that will get your mind right.
JB: and the devil?
MJ: Hard to say, lot of players out there for that title. Firewoman, Stank, BRICK~!, Nick Fleming, Moosehead Jack, maybe a supposed friend like Mac Flasher.
JB: Maybe you.
Mama Juana smiles slightly.
MJ: I do know I’m the best shot of you getting some on your wedding night. You want to spend $12.12 for OOWF After Dark and see what Fire and Stank are up to.
Bullet shudders at the thought. Mama Juana then slides under the table. Bullet sits for a few moments in silence.
JB: oh, what the hell.
He slides under the table and we fade unless you have OOWF After Dark.
We fade in and see Matt and Jaime Folz having breakfast.
Matt: I wonder if somehow Fire is going to blame me for THIS accidental marriage as well?
Jaime (laughing): I think you're safe this time.
We hear Jaime's phone ring.
Jaime: That's Lindsay, we're planning Mom's birthday party. I've gotta take this, you mind?
Matt: Of course not. I'll get the check and meet you outside.
Jaime kisses her husband on the cheek and then heads outside. About 20 seconds later Mai Muyo slides into the empty chair across from Matt, who glares at his former friend.
Matt: Please tell me who the hell invited you to sit down?
Mai: I don't even know who you are anymore.
Matt: You want to elaborate on that? Or am I supposed to know what the fuck that's supposed to mean?
Mai: I'm just curious what happened to the man who always had the philosophy of "No backstage attacks without a reason". Since when do you do violence just for violence sake? And when do you try and actively take people out of action?
Matt: If you paid attention to what I said, I clearly laid out our reasons for doing what we did. It wasn't just random violence for the sake of violence. And if we'd wanted to take her out permanently, we could have. Jesus Christ, people are acting like this is the first backstage attack in the history of this company. Anyone remember when I had a broken fucking ankle and wrestled a match 2 days later? But as long as you're here, I've got one for you. What happened to Ms "Lying is a Sin"?
Mai: I didn't lie.
Matt rolls his eyes.
Matt: Oh really? Can I show you something?
Matt pulls out his phone and brings up the OOWF Network.
Mai: That's exactly right, Renata. And that's what everyone wants from me. They want me t be the loving, sweet, wouldn't harm a fly and couldn't win a match Mai Muyo I was for a long time, and they also want me to be that killer instinct, cagematch, deathmatch monster, because the anti-hero is the only hero anyone cheers. They want me to fight the Saints, and they want me to be away from my brother. They want me to be the secure, stable Mai Muyo, and separate myself from the only man in this company who ever gave me that security, Matt Folz.
And Matt was right.
Matt: I've ALWAYS been a better friend to her than you've been a brother. You blame me Stan and Jaime for this? (Matt shakes his head) You need to look in a mirror. Now if you excuse me, I'm treating my friend Mai to a movie.
So when it comes to others' expectations . . . when it comes to all the marks online who say that Mai Muyo the Bad Guy is the worst story they've ever heard, the same marks who complained that I was a one-note vanilla-bland church lady with no character or personality . . . all I have to say, is that after seven long years, I have earned myself some me-time. I have earned myself some self-care. And whether it's beating someone bloody or catching Jurassic Park Number Seventy-Two, I have earned time with my real friends.
Matt: As you were saying that, you were playing us the whole time. Spying for your brother. Now part of me (Matt laughs)... part of me isn't even mad about it. Shit, I actually have to give Eco credit it was a brilliant plan. Send Sizzle in as an obvious spy and then when our defenses were down there you come. And I bought it COMPLETELY. So (Matt claps his hands) congratulations to you both, you conned me. I usually can see scams coming but you smartly played off our history and blinded me. Now I understand why Eco did that, but what I can't understand is why you went along with it.
Mai: You said it yourself a few days ago. He's my brother, I can have arguments with him but at the end of the day I support him.
Matt: And 99 times out of a hundred, I'd agree with that. But there's a problem in this case.
Mai: And that is?
Matt: I obviously can't speak to your relationship growing up. But I have been here your entire career and I can say that this is without a doubt true: Your brother has never given a shit about you...EXCEPT when it's absolutely convenient for him.
Mai: That's not true.
Matt: It is and you know it.
Mai: I didn't sit down to argue my brother and I's relationship with you. I just sat down to tell you that I'm going to be a member of his team.
Matt just shakes his head.
Matt: You do whatever it is you think you have to do. But you know what the Saints are planning, if you get involved in this match Stan and I aren't going to be able to protect you.
Mai (Glaring): I don't need you to.
Matt: Well then, I do sincerely wish you luck. You're going to need it because if you get involved in this match, the only way you're leaving that ring is on a stretcher.But in the spirit of competition, I do look forward to you and I tearing the house down one last time.
Matt sticks out his hand. Mai quickly reaches out and slaps it away and then storms off. Matt smirks to himself as we......FADE
A car pulls up to Calvary Baptist Church in Peabody, Massachusetts, near Salem. The sign says "Trunk or Treat, 3-5 p.m." The back door opens and Josie springs out. She turns to face the car and places her hands on her hips. She is wearing a black turtleneck, pants and trench coat with an eye patch.
Josie: Avengers Assemble!
"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet exits the passenger side dressed as Captain America. Dorothy exits the driver's side as Maria Hill and Firewoman comes out of the back seat as Black Widow.
DM: Is Stank getting out?
Stank (from inside the backseat of the car): I feel ridiculous in this green body paint and torn up pants.
FW: You agreed to playing Hulk. Josie wanted to do the Avengers with herself as Nick Fury since she brought us all together.
Stank: I hate to admit it, but 'do it for Josie,' isn't going to work forever.
Firewoman continues to try to talk Stank out of the car. Josie begs Dorothy to take her down to the church parking lot where all the cars are with their trunks open. Bullet hangs back and watches, then something doesn't feel right and he turns his head. Standing in a cornfield scene in between two scarecrows is Mama Juana, the voodoo priestess, dressed in all white with a veil over her face.
MJ: Shame there wasn't a female Avenger for me.
JB: What about Scarlet Witch?
MJ: Maybe a little too on the nose, but I understand you not inviting me along.
JB: Lady I haven't invited you to anything, but there you are. What is the deal with you?
MJ: All for you to decide. As I keep telling you, your path is up for you and you must decide your Empress and your Devil.
JB: Can someone be both?
MJ: An intriguing prospect.
Firewoman slides next to Jack.
FW: Stank is out.
She gestures with her head where Stank, all in green with torn purple pants catches up to Dorothy and Josie. He roars and beats his chest. Josie giggles, the other kids seem scared.
FW: Talking to your side piece behind your wife's back.
Jack turns his head and Mama Juana is gone.
JB: You're not my wife and she's not my side piece...wait, did you just crack a joke about all this?
JB: I don't think I can handle sarcastic Firewoman.
FW: You can't handle any Firewoman.
JB: I'm not going to deny that.
Firewoman cracks a very slight smile.
FW: Hopefully Carl Sack and Lucky can figure this out tomorrow morning with all the government offices open back up. I'm hoping for a loophole or some annulment they can rush through. Until then, I guess it's make the best of a bad situation.
JB: Have you hit the acceptance stage of grief.
FW: Eh, I think I'm still at bargaining. Carl and Lucky can fix this. Until then...I guess we're Josie's Avengers.
JB: There are worse places I could be, like in the ring with Nick Fleming.
FW: Yeah, or inside a Chamber of Horrors with the Muyos.
JB: I figured you'd like that.
FW: Oh, I'm going to love it, just trying to be sympathetic.
Post by Moosehead Jack on Oct 29, 2018 23:48:28 GMT -5
<we see Bill and Justin in the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository standing in front of the OOWF banner with Ellie May>
EMFE: Boys, this week you get an OOWF world tag team title shot against the Saints of Sinners. A lot of people don't think you have what it takes to beat them, what do you have to say?
ABFD: Hell son, it haint the dog fight in the fight, it's the fightin DAWGS a Georgia! HELL YEAH! GO DAWGS!
JS: What Bill is trying to say is, no, we don't have the pedigree of Folz, regarded by many as the best pure wrestler in this company, or Stan Fulton, considered by many to be the best big man to ever step between the ropes. We don't have multiple Grand Slam championships. We don't have as many awards or accolades, we don't have running buddies that will save our asses. What we DO have is four OOWF world tag team title runs under our belts, so you could say we know a bit about this whole tag wrestling thing.
<Ellie May just stares at Justin>
EMFE: That was........impressive! Bill, what do you have to say?
ABFD: Haint no one taking Banned From Everywhere seriously. Everyone done saidified that we was done, that we couldn't beat Beer Money, and where's they at? They's gone. Ol Pappy Sill From Dawsonville told me one thing when Ol Bill was a green rookie, and Ol Bill hain't forgot it. He took me aside and said, "son, you haint gotta be better than anyone else but for three seconds. That's all it takes."
JS: My point exactly. See, Matt and Stan, you two are great. One of the greatest teams in OOWF history. You've proven with this run that you are among the most dominant teams ever. But everyone slips. You struggled against Mac and Bullet, you have weaknesses, and all we need to do is exploit those weaknesses for three seconds and those titles come back to us
ABFD: Hell boys, we done knowify that this is gonna be a fight. They's gonna be blood. Hell son, they may be broken bones and confusions and what not. We hain't stupid, we know what y'all are about. But don't forget son, Ol Bill's been fightin since he was knee high to a wooly worm, and Ol Justin, well that boy can getcha when you hain't spectin' it. We's comin for you boys, and we hain't smart enough to be scared! So Wednesday in Salem Massychoosets, WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN BFE RUNS WILD ON YOU!
JS: Did you say Salem?
ABFD: Yeah huh
JS: We can't go there
ABFD: We banned from there?
JS: WE ARE <crowd sings along> BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
"Silver Eagle" Jack Bullet is met underneath and OOWF Banner by Sexy Female Journalist Ichiban.
Ichiban: Jack Bullet, you have to face Nick Fleming this Wednesday for the OOWF World Heavyweight Title. Your thoughts on the match-up.
JB: Since last Wednesday I've been stalked by a voodoo priestess, got married to Firewoman, received custody of Josie because the Saints, including Firewoman, decided to beat Kylie up instead of me for reasons, and Mac Flasher made a vow to a group of terminally ill children that he would take the World Title off of me. Sorry, Nick, if you're not at the top of my priority list right now. But, I tell you one thing, you are going to vault right to the front of it when that bell rings Halloween night in Salem, Massachusetts. And when it rings again and I walk out still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion you are going right back to the bottom. You can hold all the press conferences and have all the attack ads you want against me, they mean nothing inside the squared circle. A lot of people seem to say to me, 'shut up and wrestle,' and that's what I'm saying to Fleming now. Because a good old fashioned mat classic is just what I need to alleviate some of the tension in my life right now. So, thank you Nick Fleming for getting your ass whipped on Wednesday. I don't know if I'm the Better Man for a Better OOWF, but I know Fleming isn't.
Bullet walks off.
Ichiban: I get one questions, seriously, one question. I wanted to see if Jack and Mama Juana were into threesomes, I could use some of that sweet OOWF After Dark exposure.
(Kylie is alone in her hospital room. Beverly is off arranging transportation back to the States. Kylie is catching up on the OOWF-Tv. She paused on Mama Juana, before turning it off and tossing her tablet aside)
(Reaching for her phone she scrolls thru the contacts. First she texts Bridget, than Fire and Jack simply saying thank you and letting them know that Fernando has contacted her and is going to court to get Josie removed, that his goons are still following them )
Bev: (entering the room) We will be back in the States tomorrow.
Kylie: Good. Where are we going?
Bev: You need to rest and recover. I have friends there that can help.
Kylie: I need to get to Josie.
Bev: you can barely write your name. No one is giving you custody back.