[Mr. Dashbee]

In Orlando Florida, there's a press conference scheduled by WWE's NXT brand. Media has been assembled, but no one has stepped to the podium yet. The press conference was scheduled for 1 PM, and at 1:12 the lights go dark, and an image appears on the screen.

A familiar song plays and out walks the longest reigning NXT Champion in history, the one and only Adam Cole BAY BAY.

Adam Cole: "Man it is good to be here. And as good as it is for me to be here, it's even better for you to be here--with me. You see, my name is Adam Cole (BAY BAY!) and I am the longest reigning NXT Champion in the history of this great promotion. And I've been a fighting champion, too. I've beaten them all

Johnny Gargano? Beat 'em. Tommaso Ciampa? Beat 'em. Keith Lee? Beat 'em. Pete Dunne? Beat 'em. 

And now they're all gone.

And the champions who came before me? A man like Kevin Owens? Better than him. Seth Rollins? Better then him, too.

And they ain't coming back.

I know you think the future is uncertain, since Triple H is gone, too. But he already did his best work when he made me NXT Champion. There's nothing more he can accomplish, BAY BAY.

Hell, I don't even know what else I can do around here myself! Who's left?"

A stagehand whispers something in Cole's ear.

Cole to stagehand directly: "What the hell are you talking about. That's literally impossible."

Adam Cole: You see, the world today has everyone running crazy. This fine young gentleman right here just told me that Eddie Guerrero is coming to NXT. Now you should be ashamed of yourself young man--Eddie Guerrero is dead! He passed away in 2005, and to advertise anything like that is inappropriate and cannot be tolerated!

The stagehand whispers in Cole's ear once more.

Cole to stagehand directly: "What? A fantasy draft? So...a dead guy can just show up and challenge me?"

The stagehand looks at Cole and nods, nervously. Suddenly, a new song plays over the PA system.

~VIVA LA RAZA!~

And just like that, a low rider enters the room through a garage door in the back, directly opposite Cole.



And we end on the only shot possible...

[Sportsguy]

This sounds great.

[Mr. Dashbee]

In Orlando Florida, there's a second press conference scheduled by WWE's NXT brand. Media is back, but and this time the guest arrives at precisely 1 PM local time.




Charlotte Flair: "Well would you look at that, the Queen is back in her original castle, WWE NXT. Now I originally planned to come up here and make another play for the Women's NXT Championship. I mean, Adam Cole is here, and he's the Men's NXT Champion, right? But about the Women's Championship?

Well it turns out that Rhea Ripley got drafted elsewhere as part of some sort of Scattergories Ponzi Scheme, leaving this great company without a Women's Champion they can depend on, a Women's Champion who can main event major arenas as NXT becomes THE dominant brand in professional wrestling.

So I think the best possible resolution is obvious here--give the Women's NXT Championship to the greatest Women's NXT Champion of all time.

ME!"

The assembled media seem to think this is a fine idea, when a familiar foe for Charlotte arrives, the longest reigning Women's NXT Champion of all time.



Charlotte Flair: "Oh look, it's Asuka! Hey Asuka! It's me, Charlotte Flair. Remember me? THE WOMAN WHO ENDED YOUR STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA 34!"

Asuka: "I am greatest and longest reigning NXT Champion. You beat me in WWE, at WrestleMania. In NXT? You are not ready...for...ASUKA!"

Charlotte....was not happy.

[Mr. Dashbee]

So, as if time stood still for nearly two full days, Asuka is still taunting Charlotte and Charlotte is still like all mad and stuff.

And then in true "BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE!" style, another familiar tune hits the speakers...




AJ Lee, holding a microphone because why wouldn't she, giving her familiar finger waive to both Charlotte and Asuka, obviously has something to say...

AJ Lee: "You know, I've always loved NXT. I really did. Which is funny, because I WAS ON THE CRAPPY VERSION OF IT! And I came in third.

THIRD!

Well I don't live my life in third place, ladies. And that's why I'm here looking at you. Because we're not going to see two women battle it out for the vacant Women's NXT Championship, we're going to see three. And AJ Lee isn't coming in third place this time either. She's coming in...first."

AJ gives her trademark smile, puts the mic down and skips through the press conference aisles and out the front door.

[Mr. Dashbee]

For some crazy reason, there's a stage in the middle of nowhere. Really no reason, because people can't leave their houses right now--yet there's people there! And they're glad they did, beacuse...

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PUN'S HOUSE!"

That familiar sound meant the entrance of one man (not three, because drafting), who was going to immediately make his presence know.





Big E: "Well well well, would you look at who's here. Who? WHO! WHOWHOWHOWHO?!?! It's Big E! Now before you ask me, because I STILL get asked this all the damn time...NO--I don't know what a Langston is! I never even wanted to be a Langston! Ever since college, I've been E, or Big E, to my friends and family. And that's why I love being Big E now. 

What I also love? Well I love AJ Lee, so don't think that won't come up sooner rather than later. 

But I also love performing! For damn near six years now, I've been paired with my boys--my family--Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods. And now that we're separated, I'm not going to let that get me down. [Crowd: "NEW...DAY ROCKS! NEW...DAY ROCKS!"] New Day Rocks indeed y'all...indeed y'all. And New Day will ALWAYS rock! But I am taking this as a positive, a chance for me to shine on my own. As a singles competitor. 

Y'all know, I haven't won a singles title since I was the Intercontinental Champion, and even then I didn't even get to wear my championship to the ring when I entered the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania 30, and even then it wasn't even a big deal when I got tossed out!

I was an afterthought, New Day changed that, and now I am keeping it going.

So looking at the landscape, I can see where things are headed here. Y'all can see it, too--this is a message board, you're all smart enough. Eddie Guerrero is going to challenge Adam Cole for that Men's NXT Championship. I'm sure Charlotte Flair is gonna have to defend her Women's NXT Championship now that she won it at WrestleMania 36.

So that leaves me to stake my claim on a different Championship--the NXT North American Championship! So I am gonna make myself perfectly clear: I want a shot at that title. I don't know who I have to go through to win it, but I want a shot at it, and I want that at Takeover. So who's it going to be?"

This is wrestling, and it didn't take long for E to get his answer. But that answer could change the course he was charting for himself...



Tazz: Alright Big E, I see you working. I see you trying to make something for yourself. And I can respect that. See, I can respect it because I've done it. But I took it to another level. When I made something for myself, I legitimately MADE something for myself.

Tazz pulls this out of the bag that no one realized he was carrying:




Tazz: That's right E, this is the FTW Heavyweight Championship. And I think you're the right candidate for this championship, E. Why you? Well that's simple: because FUCK THE WORLD, E. Fuck the world that's been holding you back, E. Fuck the world that thinks you should be given a positive vibes preacher gimmick, E. Fuck that world that never gave you a proper push as a singles star, when you could draw huge money AND bring in a broader audience.

So set that North American Championship ambition aside, Big E. Let's fight over this thing, and the winner can say FUCK THE WORLD and become the real champion the NXT fans need.


Big E, obviously picking up what Tazz is throwing down, nods in approval.