[williamssl]

Starting this a day early cuz having a short weekend getaway and won't be back until Sun mid/late afternoon.

If you haven't revealed yet for last week, please do so in that thread.

Also, for stat-keeping purposes, please create a post similar to what several did indicating which ones you got right/wrong.

This week's theme: It's all about sex, baby.

What are strange / out of the ordinary sex tales you've got? This could be places you've had it, circumstances involving it, or God forbid you've got some fucked up preferences or fetishes you wanna share...or lie about.

Have fun!

[Lucky]

Sigh... there's goes another great use for the dildo story.

[williamssl]

Bump - let's get teh sexiness going!

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Here we go...

CAUGHT - my mom caught me jerking off when I was 13. I played it off like I was sleeping under the covers. Did I mention I was in her waterbed at the time?

A'S GAME - Early in our relationship, Mrs. Solly and I hit it in the parking lot at Oakland Coliseum right as a neaby bus crashed into a lamp post. The only time she ever told me the earth moved.

CAUGHT AGAIN - my mom AGAIN caught me in the act, only I wasn't having sex with myself. It was the first time with Mrs. Solly. Awkward much?

[The Canadian Content]

This one I can do.

Marathon -- A few interesting aspects to this one: The girl I was with had recently broken up with my best friend, and he didn't know we were together. We had sex for four hours. She was quite the screamer. I still lived in my mother's house at the time, and her bedroom was directly above mine. Apparently, the ceiling of my room was pretty thin, so we kept my mother awake the entire time, and she could hear everything pretty clearly.

Road hummer -- This one's far more simple: I dared my future (now present) wife to blow me on a highway while I was driving. She did, and I had to pull over, so as not to crash the car. (For you Yanks, highway = interstate.)

High school -- Another public bj: At a party in high school, a girl who I had no idea liked me got really tanked and let me know -- on the living room couch, while the party was in full swing. All I did was sit there and enjoy myself. Somehow, my social stock skyrocketed after that, while hers plummeted.

[salmonjunkie]

We do call them highways in California.

Where people drive - Coming back from a UCLA football game that we won vs. Arizona State, my girlfriend at the time proceeded to give me roadhead while we were on the highway. I drove a low car at the time, and it wasn't hard to see the kinky action. I got a few thumbs ups and cheers on the traffic-fililed hour drive back. The kicker of it... When I was ready to finish, she didn't let me finish in her mouth and I shot myself right above my right eye.

Where people die - I once worked as an EMT and persuaded a kinky workmate to have sex in quite possibly the most disturbing place imaginable. In the back of an ambulance. On the gurney. I thought it was creepy, and figured I wouldn't finish because of how disturbing this all was, but she was so into it, that yeah... I did.

Where people read - A girl I once dated loved having sex in public. Thankfully, so did I. We went into a library to check out some books and for some reason, started getting horny. We found a storage room with many shelves and a chair near the back of the room. So we commenced on the table on the side of the room instead. A worker walked in, stood in shock. I saw her and said "uh... we're almost done." She walked out of the room while we finished up and got the hell out of the library.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

I had a hard time picking which ones to use. Thanks to all the Driving Hummers I'll leave that story out. Wife getting smashed at your cousins wedding means you have a fun drive home on empty SR50. Christmas, Florida will never be the same to me again.

Now on to the real ones.
1. The Pool Party - The setting is a friend's pool. The party was winding down and some people had already left. Me, my wife (gf at the time though this was years back), 4 or 5 others. Anyway this girl was on a pool float and the rest of the guys at the party were zipping her around and flirting. They were off in their own world and me and the gf were pretty much left alone. It probably just looked like we were cuddling but there was a lot more then that going on. When I told my friends later their faces were priceless.

2. The Movie Theater Parking Lot - The Future Wife and I were a little early for a flick. We were going to a late showing. We decided to get a little busy before the show so she hopped on top of my while I was still in the driver's seat. We still laugh about it wondering if anybody in the parking lot saw my car bouncing. When I was done I just threw the used condom on the ground under the car. That's kinda gross, I know.

3. School Bathroom - My Junior year at UF I noticed that the History Building had a single stall bathroom was the usually empty. The hall ways were also usually empty as well even in the middle of the day. It took some convincing but I finally was able to get the future wife to join me in the bathroom for some on campus sex.

[docx]

1) Blindfold - A girl I was dating in high school told me one (fine) afternoon that she would give me a hummer, but only if I allowed her to blindfold me. I said,"OK!" I admit that I had a few "Basic Instinct" ice pick thoughts, but not enough to sway me. I'm still alive.

2) Menage - My very first time was a threesome. I guess I started kinky-ish and get more normal from there.

3) The Mall - A former girlfriend and I were at the Gap at the local mall. She decided that it would be a great time to get after it.I was vary nervous that we'd get busted, but she said we would be fine - we just had to be totally quiet. If you've never had totally silent sex, I highly recommend it for a change of pace. An interesting challenge.

[Courtney]

I'm cheating and telling stories of my friends, only to protect Gator and Solly from themselves.

1) Vincent-- My ex-roommate Vincent was 23 years old and had only had sex once back in high school. One night, this gay guy started making moves on him and Vince freaked out, saying that he wasn't gay. However, the next day, I guess he had a revelation or something because that night, the guy came over and I could hear him and Vince going at it in his room.

2) Burger King-- Laura used to work at Burger King and she was closing one night. She ended up being the last one there and she invited one of her guy friends to keep her company. They ended up having sex on the mat in the playground. I've never passed a Burger King and had clean mental images since.

3) Excuse Me-- My friend Liz and I were at some guy's place just hanging out. We had a little too much to drink and decided to just crash there. I fell asleep on the bed and she slept on the floor. I woke up a few hours later to find Liz having sex with one of the guys. Not wanting to lay there and hear what was going on, I got up and tried to go around them. They were blocking so I loudly say "Excuse me" and they stopped for a second, looked at me and moved a little. I went out of the room and they continued going right at it.

[The Canadian Content]

courtney said:

I'm cheating and telling stories of my friends

Cheater!

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Are you saying you don't have ONE story of the DSLs? I call shenanigans. Shenanigans I say!

That said, I HOPE the BK story is false. Laura seems like a nice chick but it sounds like she had griddle marks on her ass. Not exactly the Whopper I'd want.

[williamssl]

Our topic may have scared a few people away....

My entries:

Crabs in the Closet At the party I mentioned last week (wine stains on carpet, bleach, kid running away from home), I hooked up with a chick and we proceeded to get amorous on the floor of the kid's parents' master bedroom closet. She had the Courtney Treatment, which was rather intriguing and somewhat out of the ordinary (or at least I perceived it to be) since this was high school and all. Turns out she (and all her friends, one of which also hooked up w/ my buddy at the same party) had shared crabs w/ each other and the shaving was their treatment.

Doin' it at Duke / Carnal at Cameron I was visiting my girlfriend (later-to-become Mrs. Texas) in North Carolina and we were checking out college campuses (campi?) in the area. We hit Duke, and I frickin' hate Duke. We got adventerous in the hatch of her Mitsubushi Eclipse in the parking lot for Cameron Indoor Stadium. Ha take that Duke! I did it on your campus. Showed you who's boss!

Haunted Handjob They say Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth. I worked at Disneyland one summer and ended up dating a co-worker while there and some time after that. We made it a challenge to see what we could do in the park - as "citizens" of course (we got in free after work so went into the park a lot). So we're riding Haunted Mansion and the handjob starts. Anyone familar with the ride knows that...while it's dark in there...there are still lots of places where carts to either side of you have visibility into yours, not to mention the end of the ride w/ the mirrors and all. I was so nervous the entire time that what started did not finish. But it was fun.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Haunted Mansion

Don't tease us - did you finish the dude off or what, Tex??

[williamssl]

Now THAT was a good one. Exalt pending (once my hour is up from repeatedly smiting Serg).

EDIT: exalt applied.

And reminder folks - I've set an over/under of -1000 for serg's karma. Can we get it there - one smite at a time - between now and whenever he returns. Need some help....

[National Champion Chris Cole]

So I guess we start guessing today.

[williamssl]

No one else gonna wade into this one?

[williamssl]

What the hell. I'll edit if anyone else weighs in w/ entries:


Solly: Caught again
Psycho: High School
Thai: Where people drive
M-Kid: School bathroom
DocX: Menage. Unless the third person was another guy
Courtney: Vincent
Moose: Caught

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Guesses

Psycho - Marathon - FALSE
Thai - Where People Die - TRUE
Kid - Movie Theater (Picture Show for Flea) - FALSE
Doc - Menage - FALSE
Court - BK
Tex - Duke - FALSE
Moose - My Eye - TRUE

[The Canadian Content]

Solly - A's
Sal - Where people read
M-Kid - Pool party
DocX - Menage
Court - I'm not guessing yours because you cheated
Tex - Crabs (dude, I hope this is the lie)

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Come on Lopez, Moose, Pun, Loki, and more.

We have plenty of regulars not in this one. Get the fuck over here and post you slackers.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

For now, I'll edit any late entires in

Solly - Caught Again
Fish - Marathon
Thai - Where you Die
DocX - Menage, My first time lasted all of 30 seconds* and my guess is many others did that two. That isn't enough tie for one girl let alone two. I call bullshit.
Court - Vincent
Tex - Haunted - You worked at Disneyland?
Moose - My Eyes

*They say practice makes perfect so after my first time I got two and three in on the same day to improve my score. It's much better going to school the next day and saying "Three Times!!!" rather then "Thirty Seconds Wahooo".

[The Jewish Cunthead]

metallikid said:

Come on Lopez, Moose, Pun, Loki, and more.

Yeah, wouldn't QuagmireBait be perfect for this round?

[Jack Quinn]

I got nothin real interesting for this round, so these did not directly happen to me

Bunk Beds my second semester in college my roommate decided to bring a girl home one night and have sex in his bed. He had the top bunk. Me being in the bottom bunk didn't seem to deter him in the least.

Caught my best friend and his girlfriend needed a place to express their love, so they asked if they could use my room while I was at work. I didn't care (so long as they used their own damn sheets). I still lived at home, but my sister was gone for the night, and my mom was supposed to be at work all night. They get there, and for whatever reason, he puts in a red bulb, I guess to enhance the mood. Before they can go much further, mom comes home. They quickly try and play it off like they were playing nintendo. His explanation for the red light? It helps him see the video game better. I don't think she bought it.

MY EYES One of my roommates was nasty. Like 5'7 350lbs, just gross, and his girlfriend was no better. I come home one night and catch them in the living room. Flesh flying everywhere. Most people would try to escape, did they? Nooooooo. What was their response? "You wanna join us?" No amount of showers could make me feel clean after that.

[salmonjunkie]

Come on guys! We want sex talk!

Woah, that sounded teh ghey...

[Courtney]

Solly- Caught Again
Psycho- High School
Thai- Die
Mkid- School
Doc- Menage
Tex- Crabs
Moose- My Eyes