[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – March 25, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• OOWF Trainee Showcase: Diego “Pop” Roxton vs. Pete Quick

• The Frenemies (Kylie Mignolio and Bridget O’Malley) vs. The One-Notes (Carrie and Harper)

• The Woodsmen (Hunter and Dakota) vs. Banned From Everywhere (with Katie Bardoor and Pork)

• An announcement from OOWF General Manager Firewoman

• Mac Flasher vs. Nuke

• Beverly Cambridge and Jeff Mangyuniku vs. The Electric Company (Joe and Jamie)

• Zed vs. Sean Franklin

• Jack Quinn and Lexie Darling vs. The Battling Baristas (Brynn and Tara)

Card subject to all of us dreaming that Alexander Darling and Jack Quinn cooperated long enough to win a match.

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to the AEW taping being held the next day, as the show starts, Jack Quinn comes out, without music, grabs a chair, and gets into the ring>

Russ: What is this? Jack is not supposed to be here tonight!
Razz: This ain't on the run sheet, what is going on?

<while the announcers try to figure out what is going on, Jack has a mic>

Tony, if I were you, I wouldn't cut this, I know what a mark you are for the business, and I promise you, you are going to want to hear this. <looking out at the crowd> just in case, let's see those phones up, get this recorded.

<Jack pauses for a moment>

Alexander Darling, I know you're still here, we are contractually obligated to be here until 11:59pm tonight. So, I am asking you, please, come to the ring.

<the crowd buzzes, and after a few moments, a man in a black hoodie makes his way to the ring, again, with no music or anything. He steps into the ring and stands looking disinterested in the corner. Jack takes a deep breath>

There was a time, when the mere sight of you in this ring would have thrown me into a rage. But you know.....I don't blame you for what you did last night. Hell, I probably would have done the same thing. But you showed, and that tells me that despite everything, there is a part of you that cares. And for that, I thank you.

<the crowd pops for this>

I just want to say, Alex, it's over. You won. Look, the last time we faced one another, you beat me, damn near beat me to death, but you won, clean, no bullshit, no nothing, you won, and you are the better man because of it. For a long time, that thought drove me insane, it fed the hate, it fed the rage, but I let it go. I learned to let it go. And, and I know you will laugh at this, but I found out what life was like without that hate, without that rage, without that endless drive to hurt others. It saved my life.

Alex, I am not here to get you to forgive me. I am not here to get you to be my friend. I am not stupid, I know neither of those things will ever happen, nor do they need to. For over ten years, we inflicted every injury we could imagine on one another, we created new means to harm one another, from physical torture, to mental torture, to everything in between, so I know, the odds of us sitting down as old timers and reminiscing on the past, is not in the cards.

There is only one thing I can offer you, it's all I have left.

<Jack points at the chair lying in the middle of the ring and takes a step back>

Alex, please, pick up the chair.

<Darling looks suspicious and looks around the ring>

No one else is coming. I promise. This is just us. Please, grab the chair.

<Alex slowly walks from the middle of the ring and picks up the chair, never taking his eyes off of Jack>

I give you the choice. Whatever you need to do to find that peace.

<Jack walks toward Alex, stops, holds out one hand, and closes his eyes, waiting for what happens next. Alex looks down at the hand being held out and then at the chair in his hands before looking out at the crowd. The crowd is a mix of silent disbelief and ravenous violent hunger wondering what is going to happen next. Alexander picks up the chai and is about to swing it upside Jack’s head before he shakes his head and walks behind Quinn. Alex continues to circle his longtime enemy as he takes in the crowd and the atmosphere. Alex just shakes his head and walks into Jack’s inner space and is seemingly whispering in his ear but loud enough for the mic to pick up…>

Alex: You do not get to pick how and where and when I am done with you. You do not get to make that choice. You do not get your closure in front of this crowd. You do not get to decide what peace I find. You live with what you’ve done to me and everyone else. And I will go on doing what I do however I choose to do it. Find your namaste in someone else Mr. Quinn.

<Alex throws down the chair and ignores the crowd booing the non-closure as he rolls out of the ring and walks up the ramp pulling his hood back over his head.

Jack slowly opens his eyes and looks......sad. Finally Tony and his goons come to ringside and escort Jack to the back while the crowd remains in stunned silence>

Razz: What the hell just happened?
Russ: Hell just froze over, Razz, that's what happened.

<fade>

[Fire-Babe]

Backstage is pandemonium as champagne is popped, high fives are exchanged, and yet again a BFE chant breaks out.
Firewoman is standing apart, watching the celebration, looking very relieved. Beverly Cambridge sees her and walks over.

BC: No champagne? You should be thrilled! You did it! Congratulations!!

FW: Thanks, but I did nothing. They ... YOU all did it. The fickle fate of fortune kept me sidelined.

BC: Feeling poetic?

FW: Nostalgic maybe.... melancholy......

BC: What's....what's wrong?

FW: Absolutely nothing. Don't pay attention to me...I'm being silly.

BC: YOU? Fire.... many words come to mind when I think about you... "Silly" is not one of them. C'mon....

FW: *smiling a bit* I'm fine, really. Go enjoy.

Beverly starts to walk away, then stops.

BC: He really came through, you know.

FW: Yeah.

BC: Maybe you can talk to him and--

FW: Bev....no.

BC: But--

FW: Bev....look, I'm going to tell you this that I've told almost no one else. You can file it in your folder if you want. We had a great relationship once. I don't know what happened that made it just...stop. He got gifts for Patrick, we'd visit each other...But whatever.... I will always, ALWAYS love him. He knows that. But he doesn't want my help.

BC: Maybe if--

FW: No. When I was younger maybe I'd be all about pushing him to open up. But that's not my role. That page has turned. He knows how I feel, but he doesn't want my help. If he ever does, he knows how to find me. And I'll always listen and do what I can.

BC: ....

FW: He knows the door is open. But for now, I'm leaving him be. Turn the page.

Beverly nods.

FW: Thank you so much for being a part of this. I gotta turn in. Gotta get up early to get Patrick ready for us to go home.

BC: Home? But there might be a--

FW: I told Juni I was in for this. I have a new class of trainees starting in Texas. So, if I don't see you tomorrow....thanks...and keep kicking ass.

Firewoman turns and walks out of the room.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER backstage at Daily’s Place in Jacksonville, Florida. MAC is still a touch woozy and bandaged six ways to Sunday, but otherwise appears to be OK. As he’s drinking a bottle of water, OOWF trainee NUKE walks in*

MAC: “If you’re here to gloat over my loss, keep in mind that your receipt is coming in 13 days.”

NUKE: “Why would I gloat about your loss when I can point out a very uncomfortable reality to you?”

MF: “Reality? OK, I’ll bite. I’m on enough painkillers to probably make this conversation the best part of my day.”

N: “First off … You lost your match that you may have easily won if you didn’t let your emotions override common sense, so fuck you.”

MF: “I thought you weren’t gloating.”

N: “All week, all people saw from you was ‘Waaaah! I’m so alone!’ and ‘Waaaaah! I want to be accepted and loved!’ You bitched to Zed, who might be your only damn friend here, about how nobody was your friend when there wasn’t an OOWF. So, what happened? A few gestures to make you feel better about yourself so that you’d fight harder against Eddie Kingston or something. Then you lost. Why did you lose? Some girl who will never sort her feelings out about you stopped the fight because she either still loves you or wants to end you herself. Now after you passed out, sure everyone but that girl who cost you your glory walked out with you as you went out the only way you want to go out, on your shield as if you’re a martyr or some shit. But where were they the rest of the night? You know what they were doing? They abandoned you to focus on their shit or people in OOWF who matter because you dropped the ball. EVERYONE in that locker room only sees you as whatever you can do for them. Not a single person, except for maybe that little girl living with your boy Zed, cares enough about you to even check on you on the night when you pushed yourself to the possible end of your career. I’ll probably be your only damn visitor until we get back to Asheville.”

MF: “I mean, if you feel better for believing all of that, good. I’ll just focus on putting tonight behind me with OOWF having a future again …”

*the scene jumps to actual reality where a sleeping, bandaged, but not badly injured, MAC is surrounded in vigil by KYLIE MIGNOLIO, ZED, JOSIE, PORK, KATIE BARDOOR, EDDIE KINGSTON and BEVERLY CAMBRIDGE in OOWF Medical – many coming from the backstage celebration next door – as the scene fades*

[L!zz~]

<Zed, Bev, Kylie and Josie had remained at Mac's side for awhile before it was decided that Zed would stay and the ladies would go. Josie was very upset he wasn't waking up, and was also very tired. >

<We cut to the ZeBevKy compound where Kylie is gently steering Josie to her room while reassuring her that Mac will be ok. Josie pauses, when she sees Jeff coming down the hall>

Jeff, looking a little down, began to inquire about Mac, before he could finish speaking Josie cut him off. Approaching him, Josie bowed respectfully. In slow and halting Japanese she spoke (she's been practicing)

"Ojisan, kon'ya wa yūkan ni tatakatta ne. Anata no sōshitsu ni tsuite kanashimanaide kudasai." She paused here tbinking, speaking carefully with a nod. "Anata wa mangyuniku-ka ga ...meiyo o motte tatakau koto o karera... ni shimeshimashita."

Jeff smiled, he went down to her level, and spoke softly. "Mei-kko, anata no kotoba wa watashi ni nagusame o motarashimasu. Watashi o shinjite kurete arigatō. Watashi wa meiyo o motte tatakai tsudzuke, anata o hokori ni omoimasu."

<He rose and bowed to her. Josie gave him a quick hug before Kylie smiled patted his shoulder and took Josie by the hand to bring her to her room. The camera followed them till they entered her room, the door closing them out.>




Josie:

Uncle, you fought bravely tonight. Do not be sad about your loss. You showed them that House of Mangyuniku fights with honor.

Jeff:
Little niece, your words bring me solace. Thank you for believing in me. I will continue to fight with honor and make you proud.

[L!zz~]

<Elsewhere in the compound, Beverly found Bridget. Bridget was sitting on a mat in the gym, just staring at the wall. Beverly sat next to her friend and touched her back lightly. Bridget didn't even react>

Beverly spoke softly, as she also stared at the wall. "I don't fault you for what you did," she said softly. "You're right. You still know Mac best. And despite all that happened it doesn't mean that you don't care about him." She felt Bridget stiffen, and went on. "Love is confusing, " Bev said. "The man I was going to marry and wanted to spend my life with has been gone for awhile now." Bev paused for a moment, thinking about him. "But a piece of my heart and soul still belongs to him and always will. We didn't have a Hallmark romance don't get me wrong. There were lots of issues as you know but I loved him and he loved me and I never doubted that. Now, I know he gave you reason to doubt it but we also know that he did what he did for a lot of reasons . As much as you want to just hate him you can't. Love and Hate often go hand in hand and it's time to work it out B, before it consumes you."

Bridget still didn't react and that was ok. Beverly went into her ever present bag and pulled out some drinks and snacks. They just happened to be her friends favorites. "I'm going to leave these right here. And I'm going to sit right over there but I'm not leaving you alone. You've been alone too much. I'm here for you. We all are. " Bev fixed the snacks neatedly before moving to rise.

Bridget's hand reached out and grabbed hers, pulling her back down and Bev sat back next to her. Both women remained in silence, staring at the wall.

<we fade as the camera man allows them some privacy>

[Fire-Babe]

The sign on the wall says "Lone Star Wrestling Training Camp." There's a wrestling ring in the center, and then several rings around it, all shorter. Off to one side, Zane Myers and Stank are discussing some match where each thought they should have been the winner, and the other disagrees. All in good nostalgic fun. Bridget is off to the side completely fawning over Patrick who just giggles and giggles, lapping up the attention.

In the main ring, Chad Madison has escorted several new trainees to the ring. Some of them climb in under the ropes and are looking around. Chad hops into the ring, and most of everyone follows suit.

CM: Welcome to the Lone Star Wrestling Training Camp. You are embarking on the roughest and most challenging training regime in the business. Not only will you work on your physical ability, you will also get mentoring on character development, and financial awareness. A wrestling career can be a short one, so you will need to be prepared for life afterwards. First, I want to introduce to our head of personal training and physicality.....ma'am?

Firewoman comes out of the shadows. She walks slowly around the ring, surveying the new recruits. The newbies whisper excitedly among themselves, some mentioning the recent OOWF vs. AEW show. She walks slowly up the steps to the side. Chad lifts the rope for her, ever the gentleman, and tips his hat.

CM: I assume you all know who Lisa Marie Firewoman Quinn Mann is. Fire? Your new projects.

FW: Thanks, cowboy.

Fire slowly walks around the recruits in the ring, sizing them up. Some are lounging against the ropes or leaning on the ring post. One woman in the corner is checking messages on her phone.

FW: Welcome everyone. As Mr. Madison said, I will be in charge of physical training, fitness, and technique. I assume you all have some basic acrobatics and--

Fire spies phone girl and focuses like a laser.

FW: You... phone girl. What's your name?

PG: Me?

FW: Do you see anyone else disrespecting my ring?

PG: I... uh...

FW: Am I boring you? Or do you know everything you need to know about wrestling?

PG: No, I was just telling my boyfriend I made it here safely and-- Hey!

Fire grabs her phone and tosses it out of the ring.

FW: Get out.

PG: .....

FW: *taking her back pack and throwing it over the ropes to the floor*. Get out.

PG: But I--

FW: Don't make me throw you over the ropes too.

Phone girl looks like she wants to go for it, but something about Fire's attitude makes her change her mind. She slides under the rope to the floor and grabs her phone and back pack.

FW: Chad, please escort this former trainee to the exit.

Chad assists Phone Girl with gathering her things and puts his arm around her in comfort or... whatever (I mean, it IS Chad...) and they head toward the exit. Stank and Zane have stopped their play-feuding to watch. She has the full attention of EVERYONE in the ring.

FW: Lesson number 1. Whatever ring you are in, that is YOUR RING. You have to be aware and paying attention to EVERYTHING happening, even if the story line is that you're bored and disinterested. Losing focus gets people hurt. The SECOND you decide to take a match and start your walk, you make the decision that THIS is your ring and everything that happens there is YOUR BUSINESS TO KNOW.

Fire pauses for effect.

FW: Okay I know Mr. Madison didn't tell you to come into the ring, you just followed him in, so get out. Hit the floor.

There's some delay.

FW: I don't ever like to ask twice.

Everyone bails out of the ring and congregates to one side. Fire leans over the ropes to talk to them.

FW: As I was saying. THIS *gesturing with her hands* is MY RING. THOSE *pointing to the others* are your rings. You get to come into MY ring when *I* say you can. You have to EARN that.  Next person I see in here without being invited gets laps. Got it?

The group murmurs.

FW: I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that?

The group attempts to answer "Yes ma'am" and a few "Yes sirs" pop in, not in unison. Fire shakes her head.

FW: I see our work is cut out for us, Chad. *who has returned from his eviction duties* Okay, newbies, see that lovely woman over there? *Bridget waves*. She will get your room assignments. I will see you tomorrow morning at 5 am for a run, followed by some yoga, and if I hear groaning, that becomes a much longer run.

They all go toward Bridget who has given Patrick back to Stank. Bridget starts getting them all organized.

Stank: So.... she do this every class?

Zane: There's variations, but yeah. It's great.

Patrick: MAMA!

Fire slides under the ropes and walks over. She gives Patrick a kiss on the forehead, and then indicates she'll be right back. She walks towards the exit, and opens the door. She looks both ways and then goes to the left.

Perspective change, and we see her walking up to Phone Girl, who takes her wig off and reveals herself as MIRANDA WILLIAMS.

FW: Thanks!

MW: You know I love this part.  At least you didn't send me over the ropes too, this time.  Dad sends his love, by the way.

FW: Back at him. You sticking around?

MW: Sure, why not. I don't think anyone will connect me with Phone Girl.

FW: That's what you said last time.

MW: Well, so we got to the Kayfabe discussion earlier than usual. But I can't stay for the whole camp, Tommy's got a motivational weekend, and I have to be co-host.

FW: No worries.

MW: The show last night was amazing by the way.

FW: It was, wasn't it?

MW: It looks like OOWF.tv got picked back up. There's even a show advertised for--

FW: Randa...I told Juni, one and done. This is where I belong now.

MW: LD doesn't think so.

FW: ....

MW: Tommy doesn't think so.

FW: .....

MW: I don't--

FW: Okay point taken! I gotta get back in there. Thanks again.

MW: See you next class!

The two fist-bump and Miranda walks towards the parking lot, while Fire goes back inside.

[Zed]

Completing his "shift" in Medical, Zed is walking down a hall with Josie when they encounter Sean Franklin.

SF: I’m surprised to see you here. I figured you’d quit just like your basketball team.

Z: You people realize I graduated, like, 11 years ago, right? I don’t even watch the games that much anymore, I’ve got sh- *looks at Josie* -stuff to do.

SF: Of course, a fair-weather fan, just like the rest of them.

Z: Look, I’m just trying to get some cardio in, man, I’m not trying to do the whole ‘call-each-other-names-in-front-of-the-camera’ shtick so you can make yourself famous on the bird app.

Zed begins to walk by, but Sean steps in front of him.

SF: I don’t need to talk to you to make myself famous. That starts when I do what Bryan Danielson couldn’t and retire your ass, so someone who actually wants to be here can take your spot.

A smirk begins to slide across Zed’s face, almost humored by the newcomer’s bravado. However, Josie is scowling at Sean.

SF: Hell, if you aren’t going to fight me, let the little girl do it for you.

Now Zed is mad, but he controls it and simply cocks his head sideways while instinctively putting his hand down to his side, knowing Josie was already itching for a fight to prove herself.

Z: You dumb sumbitch, you’re lucky I’m standing in her way right now. Now, why don’t you run along before one of us three does something we’re going to regret?

Sean starts to form a retort, but Zed pats Sean’s shoulder and walks away, with Josie still scowling in tow.

Z: Josie, why does everyone want to make me angry?

J: Is it working, Tio?

Z: Maybe.

J: Good.

Z: Why would you say that?!

J: Because I want you to kick his butt. You owe me a dollar, by the way.

Z: I said stuff!

J: But you said S.O.B.

Z: I ... sh ... UGH.

Zed pulls out a dollar to hand to Josie as we FADE.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX outside a building marked “Lone Star Wrestling Training Camp” as a gaggle of trainees exit the building. Without a fob, SHIZURU-MUNE darts in as the main entrance is open, not seeing that he’s about to sprint into FIREWOMAN until the very last second when she sidesteps him* 

FIREWOMAN: “Sizzlechest! Why are you not getting things ready for the new general manager?”

SHIZURU-MUNE: “I wanted to speak with you about that. Yesterday, I think you showed the fire, pardon the pun, that a new OOWF needs. There were 10 wrestlers that put everything they had in that … I mean OUR RING thanks to the faith and leadership that you displayed. How many executives in wrestling would have gear ready in case they had to insert themselves into a match?”

F: “Well there was Verne Gagne, Fritz Von Erich …”

*the feed glitches out, but returns to a live video roughly 20 minutes later* 

F: “… and I’m pretty sure that he’ll die in the ring one day, in spite of doctors telling him to retire from in-ring competition.”

S-M: “OK. That’s a lot, but you were the one that we needed last night. I don’t know if those moments happen if you didn’t nudge them along. You got Alex Darling to at least walk to the ring, which was something nobody was banking on.”

F: “I told Juni that it was a one-time thing. I can’t be that person overseeing this company again.”

S-M: “Why not? Is it because you’re hiding from the reality that you’ll always want to be a wrestler, despite what medicine says.”

F *losing all of the color in her face*: “Wait. What do you know?”

S-M: “You told Mac when you met with him that you were under doctor’s orders. What those orders were, I do not know as it is not my job to be the OOWF detective.”

F: “Well, I’m not paying you for that.”

S-M: “But you admit to paying me.”

F: “It’s executive slang, as far as I’m concerned your payroll number is someone else’s issue.”

S-M: “So just like that, you’re going to brush this off? You’re going to just toil in this dusty gym and boss 18-year-old kids around? Look. You made a difference in just getting this card to happen. If not for you, I’m still in Seattle not worrying about my brother. … OK. Bad example. But there was actual joy on some of the faces in the locker room when we won. Because it was YOUR RING. It became OUR RING. We won our greatest battle, reestablishing OOWF, because you were there and able to help get some people in the ring who hadn’t even thought about wrestling since September 2019. You were at that celebration last night. EVERYONE could not wait to get back to Asheville, and get things rolling for the first Saturday Slam. There were even AEW personnel who were very impressed by how you repeatedly fought for us and physically stuck your neck out for us during the show. And you just want to walk away from that when we could rebuild to something beautiful?”

F: “Well … Why don’t you apply for the GM spot if OOWF suddenly means so much to you, Mr. Mangyuniku-Cox?”

S-M: “I would never hold half of the respect that you do. You’ve earned it either through admiration or fear. I wanted to be your assistant because I could learn from you. I could take what you do and maybe one day run my own company, be it in wrestling or something a bit less chaotic.”

F: “Yeah, I guess I could yell, ‘JUMP!’ and Mac would ask, ‘HOW HIGH?’”

S-M: “You said that you belong here in this training center, but I know you. There is not a spotlight big enough on this campus to shine on you, but I do know where you can find one of the biggest spotlights in wrestling … Asheville. It’s your home. It’s our home because that’s where OUR RING happens to be.”

F: “Well, that’s all very good. I hope you didn’t expense this trip to search for me, though. While Tony Khan gave us a massive pile of money to cover restart costs, we can’t be lighting that money on fire on frivolous goose chases.”

S-M: “Khan personally funded this trip. He wants you there because he wants a revenge card in Asheville.”

F: “Wait. When?”

S-M: “He said he’d only tell you when. No stakes, strictly pride. He wants that win back.”

F: “Well …”

S-M: “You think about it, boss. I’ll see you in Asheville later this week.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE exits the training center with FIREWOMAN rubbing her chin and thumbing through her phone as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<after his face to face with Alex, we see Jack being escorted out of the building by AEW security. Surprisingly Jack leaves without an altercation. He walks to the car where Kali is waiting, tosses his bag into the trunk and gets in the passenger side, slumped in the seat. Kali gets in the drivers side>

K: What's wrong?

J: <shaking his head> I thought this was it. I thought I could finally be done with the bullshit.

K: You and Alex saved the OOWF

J: You know, in all the excitement about the match, I never stopped to consider, do we even have a place in the "new" OOWF?

K: Why wouldn't we?

J: They are going with a youth movement, and rightfully so

K: Well......if it means anything, you're on the card in two weeks......

J: Ok. Who am I against?

K: Tag match

J: Against?

K: The Battling Baristas

J: Who?

K: One of the new teams

J: Teams? Who am I teaming with, Mac?

K: Uhhhhh........no

J: Who?

K: Well.....

J: Kali, just tell me, I am so done with tonight

K: <sighing> Alexis

J: DARLING?

K: Yes

J: Godda.......who the fuck is.......you know what, whatever, I guess if they have me booked I should go talk to Fire about a contract......

K: Fire's gone

J: What?

K: She left, had to fly to Texas to train some new kids

J: Oh

K: I think maybe there are still a few left......

J: No, let's just go home

<Jack slumps in the seat, Kali fires up the Mustang and they tear out of the parking lot for the seven hour ride home as we fade>

[Fire-Babe]

[This didn't paste when I did the other one.]

Fire is trying to walk to her office when an assistant comes up.

A: You have a phone call.

FW: I'm not in the moon, just take a message.

A: He's pretty insistent, and it's an international call.

FW: Ugh.......okay.....

Fire goes into her office, and sits down, steeling herself. She picks up the phone.

FW: This is--

JM: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!!

FW: Hello, Juni.

JM: You did it! You saved it!!

FW: Well, THEY did it, I just signed checks and stuff.

JM: No no no...I mean, yes, but you got them to buy in!! Sizzlechest was right!

FW: Well, okay. You're welcome then.

JM: SOoooo I'm sure you saw that OOWF-TV was picked up and so I wanted to extend your contract--

FW: No.

JM: No? You don't say no to me.

FW: I do now.

JM: Fire... um... is Kayfabe around?

FW: Not right now.

JM: Good,I don't have to be evil psychotic mastermind then. Fire... seriously...I need you.

FW: Sizzlechest has a good head on his shoulders, hire him.

JM: He's not ready, you could train him though!

FW: I'm sorry, Juni. Give my best to Mai.

Fire hangs up and we fade to black

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER in his apartment as his phone rings, groggily he picks it up and answers as the feed washes into a split-screen showing BIFF SLAMKOVICH, host of the “To Be Edited In Later Podcast” in the other panel*

BIFF: “And we are thrilled to have on the phone, future OOWF death match legend and friend of the show, Mac Flasher. Mac, how are you feeling?”

MAC: “Future? I think you mean ‘futile’ if you’re implying that I’m going to start wrestling death matches, but I guess I’m feeling OK or as OK as I can be with 15 stitches in my head. The docs have cleared me to be in the ring for the first episode of Saturday Slam on March 25, and I hear that I’m getting Nuke.”

BS: “Yeah. Let’s talk about how you got to having a debut episode of a new OOWF show. It went all seven. Lots of surprises. I think the biggest was that Alexander Darling cared just enough about something to show his face in the main event.”

MF: “I was still out when that was going on, so I’ll take your word for it. I would think that in winning that best-of-7 series, we showed that even though most of us have been out of the business for 3.5 years, we still have what made OOWF the best wrestling company in the world for over a decade. I’d be shocked if AEW or any promotion steps up to challenge us after what we were able to do on Sunday. If you would have told me that I’d be sitting here on this podcast again AFTER a crossover show with AEW where Tony Khan would hold our legacies in his collection had we not come through a bit over a month after my first appearance, I wouldn’t have believed you. A lot of people in OOWF stepped up and it was an awesome experience leading to Survival Sunday.”

BS: “Going into your match a bit now. You and Eddie Kingston beat the fire out of each other. What a way to open a card! Given Eddie’s 180 on his thoughts about you afterward, do you regret taking the fight to him that hard?”

MF: “No. That’s what I had to do to get his respect. Had I just been passive or let him control the tempo, I don’t think that would have changed his opinion about me. He said that he never expected that from me and never wanted that with me ever again.”

BS: “Awwwwww, we have a bromance. Speaking of words that rhyme with ‘bromance,’ a former romantic link of yours may have saved your career on Sunday. For those who don’t want spoilers, too bad,. At the end of this bloody, brutal brawl, Bridget O’Malley threw in a towel to cause OOWF official Mel Creech to stop the match and award it to Eddie Kingston. Mac, in your state afterward, do you remember what was said to you before you passed out at her feet?”

MF: “She just kept saying that she was saving me from myself and that she was the only one who knew me well enough to have to make that decision for me.”

BS: “You’ve had some time to digest everything that happened in that moment, do you have any thoughts in general or for Bridget?”

MF: “I guess I have to accept that I let OOWF down without having a say in it. Sure, we won the four matches, but had I won my match, there’s a lot of stress that many of the OOWF contingent wouldn’t have needed to endure.”

BS: “So you blame Bridget for your loss.”

MF: “I don’t blame her, but I wonder if these feelings of near-hatred toward me caused that towel to fly a bit quicker than if it was someone she respected.”

BS: “Wait. You’re saying that Bridget’s possible hatred made her toss that towel in so you’d lose.”

MF: “I’m not saying it, but I do wonder why she deemed herself to be my unwanted ringside second and not someone who maybe sort of doesn’t want to see me humiliated.”

BS: “I would think that Sunday would have been an exception to Bridget wanting to see you suffer given the stakes for OOWF. Especially after she warned Eddie that you’d become what you became a week before that.”

MF: “She gave him a scouting report. Completely eliminated the element of surprise.”

BS: “Wait. That’s what you got from that? Not that Bridget respects your abilities enough to stick up for you, even though the mention of your name makes her blood boil.”

MF: “Look, Biff. We can go around in circles on this topic, but I feel that at this moment, Bridget O’Malley wanted to sabotage my match on Sunday and she succeeded.”

BS: “Wow. That is a strong take. Anything else you’d like to add, Mac?”

MF: “I think I said all that I can say.”

BS: “Thanks again to Mac Flasher, but we gotta keep the lights on in here, so I ask to the men listening in the audience, do you hate when your underwear gets all swampy and bunched up? Me too, that’s why I …”

*the split-screen washes out back to MAC while he puts his phone down, sighs, and begins watching the remainder of the Survival Sunday card as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find KYLIE MIGNOLIO and BRIDGET O’MALLEY seated in the instruction room at the ZeBevKy Compound already in conversation as the microphones pick up what’s being said*

BRIDGET: “Yeah. I heard what he said in that podcast. I honestly regret throwing that towel in now, since it’s clear that he wants to be on an ‘in memoriam’ card to start some random episode of Saturday Slam.”

KYLIE: “Bridge … I think he’s just disappointed that he lost. Sunday was an intense night for all of us. He gave more than his best, as we all did. He’ll cool down eventually and realize that you did the same thing he’d have done for you.”

BO’M: “I’m not so sure he’d even know that I was in danger. He once ordered me shrimp scampi takeout for my birthday, despite knowing for years that I have a seafood allergy.”

*just then, JOSIE walks in with two binders stuffed so thick that she can barely carry them into the room. KYLIE hops up to assist JOSIE, but is waved off*

JOSIE: “Did I tell the class that desk time was over?”

*KYLIE and BRIDGET look around before realizing that they’re the class. KYLIE returns to her seat as JOSIE drops the binders in front of KYLIE and BRIDGET*

J: “As you two know, you face The One-Notes on March 25. As your manager, I’ve taken on the task of scouting these two.”

*KYLIE and BRIDGET open their binders, one each for CARRIE and HARPER, to find police records, allergen reports, high school and college transcripts, fingerprint scans, elementary school artwork once displayed on the refrigerators in their respective homes and somehow, fully intact newborn baby blankets for the pair*

BO’M: “How did you get all … Wait, you are Beverly’s niece. Never mind.”

J: “Did I say you could read ahead?!”

*JOSIE whacks BRIDGET’s desk with a yard stick as BRIDGET shuts the sparkle-decorated binder on CARRIE*

J: “We have a lot of work between now and Saturday Slam, and you will not embarrass me! These two are not to be taken lightly. While they’re rookies, Carrie has an extensive amateur wrestling background from her school days in Iowa and Harper can stop both of you cold with one punch. While you two are former tag champions, these two would love nothing more than to beat you in the OOWF debuts. As your manager, I will not allow that to happen!”

KM: “Yes, Josie.”

J: “We have 11 days to prepare for these two, and we will beat them. Am I clear?”

BO’M: “Yes, Josie!”

J: “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

BO’M and KM *in unison*: “YES, JOSIE!”

J: “Good! Now I want five laps around the building, right now!”

*KYLIE and BRIDGET look at each other before coming to the realization that JOSIE is not joking. The two stand up and make their way to the door to begin their run*

BO’M: “Do you think this manager thing is getting to her head?”

KM: “We’ll need to have a talk about boundaries later on.”

J: “I heard that! Ten more laps!”

*THE FRENEMIES continue their run while JOSIE follows on her hoverboard scooter as the scene fades*

[Zed]

Zed is settled in for a dinner at the OOWF Bladejob Deli after safe travels to Asheville, North Carolina when Reverend BRICK~! enters the Deli and sits at the table across from him.

Z: By all means, Reverend.

B~!: Thank you.

Zed rolls his eyes.

Z: To what do I owe the pleasure?

B~!: I'm really impressed with you.

Z: Which part? The one where I lose wrestling matches or the one where I'm currently losing money to a child because I can't stop saying bad words?

B~!: The one where you didn't raise your hand in anger to our brother in Christ Sean Franklin.

Z: I believe we're getting a little loose and free with the plural first person here.

B~!: *ignoring Zed* The Lord speaks many times about being slow to anger. It is very important to remember his teachings about turning the other cheek. After all, our current actions have a significant influence on our future. I know you are, perhaps, skeptical of my teachings at times. I believe other religions have another term for this. Déjà vu. 

Zed's eyebrow arches.

Z: I think you mean karma.

B~!: No, that's when you think you've been somewhere before. Like the Shia LeBeouf movie.

Z: ... Okay, that's Disturbia.

B~!: No, that's the Alicia Keys song.

Z: *laughing* Alright, I get it, now you're just fucking with me to see if I get angry. That's pretty good, I'm not gonna lie.

B~!: LANGUAGE! And I would never! Anyways, keep the faith.

Reverend BRICK~! leaves as quickly as he appeared.

Z: Well, I guess it is like they say. Déjà vu is a bitch.

FADE.

[DevSop]

*OOWF Arena*

We see a determined Alexis Darling walking through the arena, but after a few years she doesn't exactly remember every turn one needs to make in the sprawling arena. After a few dead ends and entrances into the wrong locker room or training center or restaurant or spa, she finally arrives at the General Manager's offices. She enters the first room where she sees Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox going through some paperwork at the assistant's desk. Alexis is about to blow past him...

SMMC: There's no one there.

Lexie: What do you mean no one is there. Who's running this company right now?

SMMC: That's still being worked out. We're trying to convince Firewoman to come back full-time, but she seems adamant that she won't.

Lexie: Then she won't. But that doesn't matter. Who put together the card for the first show back if you don't have a GM?

SMMC: That's a good question without an answer. As everyone was celebrating the win on Sunday, it was just sent out to media without a return email address or anything like that. And everyone has just seemingly gone along with it.

Lexie: Well I'm not.

SMMC: I did notice that and just assumed it was a typo and that your brother was supposed to be back. But that doesn't seem to be the case as Junichiro isn't willing to meet his fee. But before you ask, and I know he's not always the most trustworthy source, but Juni is saying he didn't put the card together either.

Lexie: Whatever. I still don't care. I'm not even a wrestler anymore. I mean, I did get nostalgic all week and it was great to see everyone...well, mostly, but I haven't even trained for anything like that in almost 2 years. And even if I was in tip-top shape...I would never team with Moosehead Jack.

SMMC: Right. You're not teaming with him though.

Lexie: Moosehead Jack. Jack Quinn. Ketsuki...I don't care what he's calling himself. I can not team with him. The history, the torture...Ale, my brother may be able to compartmentalize it for one night but I'm not him and I don't trust him and I can't. I can't wrestle Shizuru. I just can't. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to again, but not with him. Please.

SMMC: I'll see what can be done, but as you can see there might not be anyone who can do anything about the card. As to your partner, look at me, I'm trying to change from the joke I was the last time this company ran shows. And I was a fan of this company before I worked here so I know you've changed a few times. The past doesn't have to define who we are now nor do our past relationships have to be our current relationships. I don't think anyone expects you to forgive or forget the past. And honestly, I think the fans just want to see you.

Lexie: See me make a fool of myself? Shizuru, I'd love to be able to go back a few years ago and be what I was but I don't know if that woman exists anymore.

SMMC: Like I said, I'll see what can be done, but you have a week to knock off the rust. And if there's one other thing I know...you're Alexis Darling, and well...

Lexie: *finally smiling just a little* I'll try, I guess. Moreso to see if I still can, but please try to do something about the actual match.

Alexis sighs and nods in respect to Shizuru before leaving the offices and starting her journey back through the arena.

*Fade*

[Jack Quinn]

<we see Jack and Kali finish their yoga, Kali heads inside for a moment, then comes out with a plate of veggie wraps. They sit to eat and chat>

K: I am sure Alexis will be there, we thought Alex wouldn't show, and he managed to make it

J: You do not understand the depths to which Alexis hates me

K: You really think she will no show?

J: I cannot imagine what they could offer her. Money? Nope. Fame? Nope. Titles? Nope. The only think I can think of that would get Alexis Darling to willingly team with me is if the finish of the match is me getting a shotgun blast to the face courtesy of Alexis Darling.

K: Stop being so morbid. I am sure she will show.

J: I hope not.

K: Why?

J: If she doesn't, it's a two on one beatdown, if she does, it's a three on one beatdown. She hates me more than Alex. Look, none of this really matters, this is probably a one off match, I am still working without a contract, who the hell do we even talk to about that?

K: Seems Shiz is currently the assistant to the non-existent GM

J: Well, that is certainly comforting

<they finish their wraps and clean up the dishes. Jack fixes himself a drink and settles in to watch some OOWFtv>

K: I'm going to go work on some paperwork

<she kisses him on the head and leaves. Jack turns the TV on and the match is about to start when the power goes out>

J: Goddammit. I'll get it the generator started

<Jack gets to his feet and we hear the familiar strike of a match and see a cigar lit. A single lightbulb lights and we see Moosehead Jack. Jack slowly turns and faces him>

J: Ok, so now I know I am dreaming. I just have to wake up.

M: You think you can get rid of me that easily, Jackie?

J: I proved I don't need you

M: Did you?

J: I won

M: <getting to his feet and walking around> Did you? Does anyone care? What was the story everyone talked about all week? Will he or won't he. All everyone cared about was Alexander Darling. No one gave a shit about Jack Quinn. Hell, your own sister didn't even believe in you.

J: Why are you doing this?

M: <stepping close> Because Jackie, you are a loser. You've ALWAYS been a loser. That is why you created me. You were tired of being a loser, so Moosehead Jack was born. It allowed you to be a tough guy at school. It allowed you to become a bully. It allowed you to become world renown for violence and mayhem. I allowed you to become world renown. Face it Jackie, without me, you are nothing

J: I created you, I can destroy you

M: <laughing and taking a long drag from his cigar, then a swig from a bottle of whiskey> You would think so, wouldn't you? But you are missing something very, very important.

J: What?

M: I was created out of hate, I am fueled by hate. Your hatred of Sean. Your hatred of Alex. Your hatred of your life. Your hatred of yourself, that all fed me. Hate feeds me.

J: I don't hate you. I.....I hate what I did, but I don't hate Moosehead Jack

M:<pausing for a long time and taking a drink> You don't have to. As long as Alex and Alexis hate Moosehead Jack, true, soul crushing hatred, I will exist. I will consume you. And there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to change that. Alex owns you. Alexis owns you. But more importantly Jackie, right now? I own you.

J: No

M: Deny it all you want Jack. How many times are you going to reach for that scalpel? <snarling> LOOK AROUND YOU MAN! NO ONE CARES! Your own SISTER didn't even congratulate you! She left! She left you AGAIN! You spent the last year of the OOWF trying to make things right with her! You are so goddamn pathetic you had to FORCE her to side with you! She wants nothing to do with you Jackie, and neither do the rest of them! No one gives a FUCK about Jack Quinn! They all want Moosehead Jack back

J: No! I will not go back to that. I am done! Do you know how FUCKING hard this has been?

M: Oh I do, Jackie, I do. I have watched you struggle to free yourself from Moosehead Jack, but it will never happen. You need me. THEY need me. You. Are. NOTHING. Without me. Just give it up Jackie. You are pathetic. You are everything Sean said you were. A pathetic excuse for a man, and coward. They don't care about you, that is why they have you teaming with someone who despises you against a couple of kids. They just want you to go away, they want Moosehead Jack.

J: I can do this without you

M: <sighing> No, you cannot. Look Jackie, just let us in.

J: Us?

M: Let us in, so we can be a family again. A nice. Big. Happy. Family

<Patrick steps out of the shadows and stands next to Moose, Moose starts to laugh, Jack stares in horror as Moose takes a scalpel and holds it to Patrick's neck, as slight trickle of blood runs down his neck, Jack yells......

Kali hears the yell and the chair being kicked over and runs into the living room, she sees Jack standing there wide eyed, soaked in sweat, swinging his arms wildly>

K: JACKIE! WHAT'S WRONG?

J: I.......I

K: Where........where did you get that?

<The camera pans and we see Jack is holding a scalpel. Jack drops the scalpel in shock>

J: I.......I don't know!

K: What is going on?

J: It was just.........just a dream. I'm.........it's ok

<Kali looks unconvinced, but heads back to the office. Jack picks up his glass of whiskey, then stops and walks to the sink and dumps it and puts on a pot of coffee. As he walks back to the chair, he picks up the scalpel and looks at it and sees "TRUST ME" engraved on the handle, and a small amount of blood on the blade. Jack slumps into his chair and we fade>

[Zed]

The OOWF.TV feed (free for $6.66 a month!) shows an excerpt from "The Fonslaught Podcast starring Brett LaFonsetta" (How many podcasts are there? Seriously?). The special guest for this episode is Sean Franklin.

BL: So, Sean, thanks for coming on the show.

SF: Thank you.

BL: First off, for those who may not be as familiar with collegiate wrestling, let us know about your background.

SF: Sure, well, I was a state champion in high school, went to NC State, wrestled there through college, qualified for the NCAAs my senior year, overall, you know, a really good career, I'd say. If it were a sport like football, you know, not to be arrogant, but it's the kind of resume that they'd be talking about on ESPN as a first-round NFL draft pick or whatever, but it's wrestling, right? Like, sure, I can try out for the US team, go to the Olympics or whatever, but that doesn't pay the bills. So I started looking at opportunities in professional wrestling. As fate would have it, the rumors about the OOWF returning started, so I put in a word, got invited to the compound, here we are.

BL: Indeed we are. So your first match, coming up on March 25, in your home state of North Carolina, against a fellow North Carolinian, Zed. Since your arrival, you've really painted a target on his back, and I think that's putting it lightly. Wanting a match with him, saying you want to retire him. There's got to be more to this than the UNC-NC State beef, right? What's the story here?

SF: It's pretty simple, really. He represents the worst parts of the industry. He is content to just travel and cash the paycheck and exist on this roster. He's got this "Oh, shucks" comedy act where he pretends to be Josie's foster dad and talks to bricks or whatever the hell is going on there. He's not even a real athlete - 

BL: - Alright, let me reel you in a little bit here. By "real athlete," are you saying - 

SF: - Name a single sport he played, for real? You can't, can you? He made his name wrestling a bunch of washed-up hacks in the OOWF past its prime, and now somehow he's one of their main eventers now that it's back? Well, I'm going to expose this entire company, starting with his phony ass.

BL: I'd say, if I may play the devil's advocate here, he made a fine showing for himself against one of the best in the world, Bryan Danielson.

SF: Did he win?

BL: I'd argue he would have if it had not been for Chris Jericho.

SF: But did he win?

BL: The record books will show he did not win.

SF: And they will say the same on March 25. And I won't need some decrepit wannabe rock star to help me do it.

BL: That's quite a proclamation for your first match.

SF: Again, Brett, that's where you're wrong. It might be my first OOWF match, but I've been doing this for years, maybe even longer than Zed, facing the best heavyweight wrestlers in the country at a Division I level. There's nothing Zed can do that I haven't proven I can do better. You just don't know it yet.

BL: Well, I have to appreciate that level of confidence. I'm sure I speak for everyone listening and watching when I say we look forward to that first match on March 25. Thanks for coming on the show.

SF: Thank you, again. I look forward to being on here many more times in the future.

BL: Well, that's Sean Franklin, again, making his OOWF debut on March 25 against Zed. We'll preview the rest of that card after this word from our sponsor, A to Z Auto Parts ... 

FADE.

[DevSop]

*Alexander Darling's House*

We fade in on the office/library we first witnessed Alexander Darling a few weeks back. Kyla Davies is sitting at the desk on the guest side of the desk this time as Alexander is on the other side. She looks a little nervous but steadfast. Alex finishes reading the first letter that Josie sent to him before putting it on the second letter.

Alex: You know, I should have seen it when you first came here and offered to be my business manager. You have the same look in your sister's eyes. But I was so not paying attention to anything at that point. Hell, you probably could have been your sister and I may not have noticed.

Kyla: Alex, if you'd let me...

Alex: No need. I'm not going to fire you. While I'm not thrilled about the secrets, they aren't really anything that I asked about so at least you have never lied to me. As long as you stay honest with me, we won't have a problem.

Kyla: I really appreciate that. I mean I don't know a lot of what happened...

Alex: And you probably never will because we're not going to bring it up anymore. The past is the past. But that being said, it's time to look at the present and more importantly, the future.

Kyla: So, here's the thing...you're not booked anywhere for the forseeable future.

Alex: Excuse me?

Kyla: I called everyone you've worked for over the last year under every gimmick you've used. They all told me the same things.

Alex: And what's that?

Kyla: First, because most of the owners knew who you were and were just happy to even get you on the card with any gimmick they were willing to go along with it but after the show last weekend. They want the real Alexander Darling.

Alex: *dark sigh* If that's what it takes...

Kyla: That's where the second issue comes into play. While they've all said they would want the real Alexander Darling, they've all also said they are being paid insane amounts of money NOT to book you.

Alex: I'm being blackballed???

Kyla: Not exactly. They've all said they've been asked/offered the money on the condition that if you called looking for a booking they were to give you a phone number to call and listen to the reason and make a decision after that.

Alex: *shaking his head knowing where this is going* Give me Junichiro's number.

Kyla: How did you...

Alex: Because this is what he does. He thinks he can buy or manipulate or persuade me to go back and he's got the resources to make my life difficult if I don't. And I should have expected it after last week.

Kyla: What are you going to do?

Alex: Honestly, I don't know. The last year has been easy I think. Mentally, physically...just easy but even going back to the years before that, it's also been too hard. Maybe I need to go home and see if I can be who I was again. And if not, at least I'll know.

Kyla: And everything else?

Alex: Let's cross that bridge if Juni makes a convincing pitch.

Alex picks up the phone as we *Fade*

[Zed]

Reverend BRICK~! is wandering through the nearly forgotten Hallway of Random Encounters when he notices a suspiciously-placed, unnecessarily tall plyo box. Next to it is a bookshelf, on the very top of which rests a plastic container he recognizes as the one he uses to store brochures advertising the God Complex.

B~!: How did those get there?

BRICK~! tries to climb on top of the box, but with his disproportional limbs (he's an anthropomorphic bricks, folks), he's unable to do so. He tries a running start and leap onto the box, but crashes wildly into the box and tumbles over it instead.

Voice: What seems to be the trouble, Reverend?

Into the scene walks Sean Franklin, with a smug grin on his face.

SF: You don't need those, do you?

B~!: I don't think we've formally met. I'm -

SF: - I know who you are. I'm not interested in getting to know you, I'm not interested in your church. The god you believe in has already blessed me with more athletic talent than anyone in this building, including your boy. 

B~!: So ... what do you want?

SF: I want you to know your place. Because as long as you associate with losers like Zed, it'll feel like success is juuuust a little bit out of reach. *glances at the bookcase* If you get my drift.

B~! *gesturing at the setup* So you did all this to prove a point? To embarrass me?

SF: *smiling* Basically. But if you ask very nicely ...

Suddenly, Sean stumbles into the bookcase after a shove, sending the container of brochures falling off of it. BRICK~! attempts to grab them, but they fall to the ground, scattering on the floor. The camera pans over and we see Zed standing face-to-face with him.

Z: Look, I still don't understand why you have a problem with me ... but you have a problem with me. Leave him out of this.

SF: Oh, do I have your attention now? You're not going to ignore me and take the little girl out for ice cream now?

Z: You damn sure need to leave her out of this.

SF: Or what? You're going to hit me? Like an actual professional wrestler? Oh no! Face it, Zed. You don't want to give me the satisfaction, but I'm in your head. You know what I'm saying is true. And me? I don't have all these silly distractions in my life like you do. I'm going to show up to Saturday Slam with only one thing on my mind, and it is showing the world that you are a fraud.

Z: You might be right, Sean. You may not have anything better to think about than how you're going to hurt me that night. You know what I say to that? I'm sorry.

SF: Excuse me?

Z: I'm sorry nothing in your life matters to you more than what happens in that ring. I take pity in you that there's nothing in your life that fulfills you other than being the high school bully turned up to 11. I hope, sometime between now and 20 years from now, you find someone or something that gives you that fulfillment when the next new kid is calling you the decrepit has-been. I know you're college-educated and you probably understand everything I'm saying, but let me say this plainly in a way someone else from North Carolina can clearly comprehend.

Zed smiles.

Z: Bless your heart.

Sean cocks back a closed fist, but a handful of members of the OOWF security team have assembled during the conversation and quickly pull him and Zed away before any blows are exchanged. Zed's smile never leaves his face as Sean shouts at him from a distance as we FADE.

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is SITTING~! in her office at Lone Star Wrestling School, watch tape of... well, usually it'd be tape of the trainees so she could give them pointers, but looks more like its the reunion show of OOWF vs. AEW.

Voice: How was this morning?

FW: *switching to the trainee videos with a quick keystroke* Not bad. Twelve minutes of Red Hot Core 2.0, DDPY (tm) was too much but still, only three puking when it was over.

Voice: Crunches from every conceivable angle will do that.  They always show up claiming to be in shape, and then they meet you.

Fire looks up to the voice finally and sees it is Zane Myers.

FW: Oh! I thought you were--

ZM: Chad, I know. I don't usually come down this way.

FW: No, but that's okay.

ZM: May I sit?

FW: Suuuuuuuure........Am I getting fired?

ZM: What? No.... *non-Batista laugh*....Well, Yes, but Chad told me not too.

They both laugh as some inside joke just happened

ZM: Looked like you were watching the OOWF-AEW show.

FW: Oh, yeah, someone sent me a clip or something.

ZM: Uh huh...We watched the show down here. Really great stuff.

FW: It was. Everyone did great.

ZM: So did you.

FW: It's easy with a great crew. I just pointed where to go and they took it from there.

ZM: It's a LITTLE more than that.

FW: Well....thanks. It was good seeing everyone, but it's good to be back to work with some stability.

ZM: You know....during the last match...I have not seen you that angry in a very VERY long time.

FW: ....

ZM: And if I were booking, there would have been a Firewoman vs. Jericho match added right at that moment.

FW: Yeah, well, Khan is all worried about "sponsors" and "what would the network say."

ZM: Good thing OOWFtv is back.

FW: ......I feel like there's something you are trying very hard not to say.

ZM: Fire.... Lisa....

*Fire raises an eyebrow*

ZM: You and I have never been close friends. I mean, we get along, and you and Chad were... well, when it was working he was pretty happy, and... that's water under the bridge.... Anyway...

FW: You have never minced words with me, please don't start now.

ZM: My point is, everyone knows that you belong at the OOWF. Everyone. Even you. But you won't listen to them because you think they may just be telling you what you want to hear or what are their reasons, not necessarily yours. I have never, in our entire history, told you anything you wanted to hear. And I am telling you... you belong there.

FW: Zane, it was fun, but this is Mac's pet project, and Shizz can do the--

ZM: No disrespect to Mac, but he's too invested to make the hard decisions that the GM has to make. And Shizz...He'll be good one day. Great maybe. But right now too many of the rookies see him still as that Asian caricature he had to play. They don't respect him. And he needs a mentor to smooth out the rough edges.

FW: That's not me--

ZM: It is 100 percent you. Right now the bullies among the rookies are figuring out ways to get their way, and who better than a Saint of Sinners to address that.

Zane and Fire both smirk.

ZM: In short, this whole thing sparkles big and brighter then the Texas sky of stars for you.

FW: ...

ZM: ....

FW: Did you just.... did you think of that yourself?

ZM: No, Chad and I workshopped it a bit.

FW: So why didn't he do this?

ZM: For the same reason I just said. If I thought you would suck at it I would say so, and he probably wouldn't... and I wouldn't have kept you employed here for 3.5 years if you were that bad.  You've proven yourself as a wrestler and as a trainer. Now....it's time.

FW: ... What about the trainees that just started?

ZM: Chad can work them until they puke almost as well as you can.

FW: ....

ZM: So.... you're fired.

FW: HUH? But you said--

ZM: I wish you well in your future endeavors. Take care of our trainees when I send them to you.

FW: I....

*Zane gets up smirking at speechless Fire and walks out. Chad is waiting down the hall.

CM: So? How did she--

ZM: She's speechless right now.

CM: Wow...This is gotta see...

Chad heads to Fire's office. Zane walks the other way, smiling and shaking his head.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find HUNTER and DAKOTA – THE WOODSMEN – outside of the Greensboro Coliseum following Sunday’s NCAA Tournament action. While most patrons are long gone, THE WOODSMEN discover one FAN in yellow and blue sitting alone with his head in his hands. Tentatively, THE WOODSMEN approach the FAN* 

HUNTER: “Dakota! I believe we’ve spotted a member of the Feliformia suborder known as a Pittsburgh Panther. What can you tell our viewers about this beautiful creature?”

DAKOTA: “The Pittsburgh Panther, native to Pittsburgh, is an aggressive, but self-depreciating sort. While this particular creature appears emotionally wounded, a Pittsburgh Panther can never be hurt by other creatures more than they will injure their own in an emotional manner, usually over athletics that the university participates in.”

H: “Fascinating stuff! Let’s approach with caution as we try to get a closer look …” 

*THE WOODSMEN approach the FAN and see that he is a familiar face* 

H: “Dakota! We’ve discovered the elusive Mac Flasher!”

MAC: “Guys! Now is not the time.”

H: “Mac, while you and your ilk may be emotionally fragile after a battle with those dastardly Musketeers from Xavier, we mean you no harm. We are a friend to all felines, big, small and human who root for schools with feline mascots. For we are The Woodsmen!”

*the duo strikes their trademark pose as HUNTER places his hand across his brow as if he’s searching for something in the distance while DAKOTA plays fanfare on a kazoo shaped to look like a small Alphorn as he appears to be stepping on an imaginary rock. MAC is not entertained* 

MF: “Guys. Please. Let me process todays game without all of this nonsense.”

H: “Nonsense? I don’t follow. What we do is educational for all viewers of OOWF.tv, which is free for only $6.66 per month.”

*DAKOTA holds a poster containing a QR code with ‘SUBSCRIBE NOW’ in block text above it before KAYFABE, in a Xavier jersey, swats it from his hands*

MF: “If you two don’t find your way back to your tent, or whatever you shack up in, in the next 10 seconds, I’ll gladly take out my basketball frustrations on you.”

*MAC takes off his blue Pitt cap to reveal the stitches from this past Sunday’s match at Survival Sunday and a look that would melt ice* 

H: “Dakota! Do you think he’s serious? Usually a Pittsburgh Panther is not aggressive to others unless it’s to attack one who made a social-media insult toward the athletics department at the University of Pittsburgh, their claimed home”

*DAKOTA is already halfway across the street* 

H: “Well, Mr. Flasher. It appears that your growl has frightened young Dakota, so I must give chase. While we hope to encounter you again under happier circumstances, we must bid you a fond farewell. Until our paths cross again, trust The Woodsmen!”

*HUNTER turns and walks away as DAKOTA can be heard faintly playing THE WOODSMEN’s trademark fanfare from across the street as the scene fades*

[Matte]

*Rabbit Mask is at his home in Kyoto, Japan. He's relaxing in house clothes and his wrestling mask—as luchadores do—browsing through some YouTube channels when he stumbles upon a video titled "REACTING to AEW vs. OOWF Survival Sunday" with a thumbnail showing an image from a wrestling event of someone in a black hoodie with the hood up standing on the ring apron, and the YouTuber's shocked face layered over top of it.*

Rabbit: AEW vs. OOWF? That's...interesting.

*Rabbit opens the video up and starts watching.*

YouTuber: So, if you clicked on this video, I assume you're already a fan of either AEW or the OOWF, so I won't go into the backstory of how this event came to be. I'm just going to be watching through the show and reacting to it, clipping bits and pieces together to avoid any copyright issues...you know how strict the OOWF is with that stuff. I'll give my thoughts and opinions on the matches and what was good, what was bad, all that jazz. If you like the content, hit the like and subscribe, and tell me what you agree or disagree with me about in the comments. *laughs* I already know people are gonna shit all over me for my thoughts on Alexander freakin' Darling being the defacto savior of the OOWF...but we'll get into that later. Let's start with the opener.

*The video shows some quick cuts of Eddie Kingston coming to the ring, followed by Mac Flasher coming to the ring with a majority of the OOWF locker room marching behind him. Rabbit pauses the video.*

Rabbit: I'm seeing Zed, Beverly, Matt Folz...Alexander Darling's apparently the savior or something. Seems like everyone knew about this but me. Why was I not contacted by anyone?

*Rabbit's wife, Mari, sees over his shoulder and responds.*

Mari: Might it have something to do with the fact that the last time you wrestled for the OOWF, you tried to take the Onslaught and Intercontinental Championships both hostage and leave with the belts when your contract expired?

Rabbit: ...I suppose that's possible. Still, someone could've reached out.

Mari: With your history, who would've? You attacked Firewoman backstage and kept it a secret for weeks on end. You threw poor Beverly under the bus when you feuded with Tytan. You were pretty rude to an innocent Mac Flasher after he won the Intercontinental Championship from you on your last day there. To this day, you have a seething hatred of Chad Madison. I don't know who you're thinking would've wanted to reach out to you.

Rabbit: I don't know... *thinks for a moment* Justin Sane and I were trios champs together. We have a decent history.

Mari: I don't know if Justin even has a phone, let alone knows how to use one.

Rabbit: True.

*Rabbit continues watching the video while scrolling through and reading some of the comments.*

• oowf peaked in 2007 honestly. concrete TG, hardbody harris, capellan, davin moreland, underdawg, nayr the halfling paladin, and my all-time favorite puck dupp! who the hell is zed and max flasher??
• these some old ass refs. how long has davis hightower been reffing? he looks like morgan freeman's dad. mel creech looks like peter boyle in everyone loves raymond.
• petition for zed to play the riddler in the next batman movie
• Jericho is so lucky. I wish Firewoman would put me in a hammerlock all night long.
• Pretty sure I saw Alexander Darling at my local indy a few months ago. He was wearing a green mask with gold trim and dollar signs on the sides and was going by the name of El Hijo de Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. He finished the match with the Darling Money Clip, but commentary called it the El Hijo de Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase Money Clip. Pretty good match.
• I met a woman named Awesome Kitty from Dawson City (that's how she introduced herself) a few years back and this Katie Bardoor looks eerily similar to her...
• BRING BACK SYB AND APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE!!!!!!

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX working at his computer when three MEN, unknown to anyone in OOWF – and very rural in appearance – shove through the almost-closed door to SHIZURU-MUNE’s office*

MAN 1: “We needs to see that Firewoman.”

SHIZURU-MUNE *not looking away from his monitor*: “A lot of people do. Just let me take your name and …”

*suddenly MAN 3, a hulking brute of a human, takes the apple that he was holding in his hand and drives it into SHIZURU-MUNE’s desk, sending bits of it throughout the room*

MAN 1: “I don’t think he heard us, boys.”

S-M: “Hearing you three isn’t the problem. The issue at hand is why you’re here without warning and what your purpose is. Neither of which I’m too clear on right now.”

MAN 1: “Boys. I think we have an introduction to make.”

S-M: “Yes. I’d very much appreciate knowing who I’m talking to, why you’re here and what makes you feel entitled enough to just blow on in here without an appointment. We have proto- …”

*MAN 3 goes behind the desk and lifts SHIZURU-MUNE from his chair with ease. As MAN 3 holds SHIZURU-MUNE, MAN 2 begins with a series of gut punches before grabbing the monitor off of the desk and bashing it over SHIZURU-MUNE’s head, all of this while MAN 1 gleefully barks orders. While SHIZURU-MUNE is able to get a few shots in, including a roundhouse kick that puts MAN 2 on his back for a few seconds, the numbers game is not on his side as the three MEN overwhelm the interim GM of OOWF, the assault concludes as MAN 3 chokeslams SHIZURU-MUNE through his desk*

MAN 1: “Mr. Manbeef-Cox, allow us to introduce ourselves. I’m Chet Stinkfinger.” *points to MAN 2* “This is Bobby Lou.” *points to MAN 3* “And our tiny friend here, is called Merle. We’re the Green Apple Splatters. We came to OOWF because one of your rookies done wronged us a long time ago, and we’re here to make some corrections. If Firewoman – or Fired Woman – stops in. *all three chuckle* “… Well, tell her that we’ll be searching for a former acquaintance and that she best not interfere as we don’t want any trouble.”

*MERLE takes a green apple from his pocket and crushes it all over SHIZURU-MUNE’s face while a few OOWF TRAINEES rush down the hallway*

CHET: “It appears that we’ve overstayed our welcome. Boys, it’s best that we be on our way.”

*The GREEN APPLE SPLATTERS depart just as the TRAINEES arrive at the doorway to see the wreckage – both human and electronic – as the scene fades*

[Zed]

Zed and Reverend BRICK~! are watching OOWF.TV over breakfast at the OOWF Bladejob Deli when Rabbit Mask's segment takes place.

Z: You know, it's a good point.

B~!: I agree, you'd be a great movie star.

Z: What are you talking about?

B~!: You didn't see the YouTube comments?! One of them wants you to be in a superhero movie!

Z: It is my solemn oath as someone in the content creation business to never read the comments.

Kayfabe glares at Zed while refilling BRICK~!'s coffee cup. Zed nods to acknowledge her.

Z: No, I just mean, like ... obviously, it's not any one person's fault. The whole thing came together pretty quickly with a lot of hands involved and was a pretty big clusterf...shi...

B~!: I appreciate that you're trying.

Z: Rome wasn't built in a day. All I'm saying is, there are a lot of people who deserved to be there and probably never got an invite. Like, Rabbit should have been there. But even if someone asked, like ... I don't have any contact info for any of these people! It's crazy! We traveled together for all those years, and then when it was over I realized how distant some of us were.

B~!: I still think we need to circle back to the Riddler thing.

Z: Wait, they wanted me to play the Riddler?

B~!: SEE!

Z: What does that even mean? Do I have a big chin? Would I look good in green? I ... 

B~!: You're definitely not looking at this the right way.

Z: Alright, sure, we can talk about why that's a terrible idea later. I'm just saying, I wish we had done more to show those people how much they were appreciated. And we didn't. Whether it's Rabbit, Jack, Moose, Alex, Chad, Tommy, Miranda, Mai, the list goes on and on. I don't know. I know everyone was just wrapped up in the moment and doing the best they can. I just feel bad.

B~!: I noticed you didn't mention Juni.

Z: You did notice that.

B~!: We've talked about holding grudges, my child.

Z: We have talked about it.

BRICK~! sighs and shakes his head.

B~: So what are you going to do about it?

Z: I don't know. Maybe I can ... try to reach out? Like I said, my contacts are scarce. You know any of them?

B~!: Yeah, I have a couple of friends in California.

Z: Who's in California?

B~!: Hollywood! 

Zed rolls his eyes and asks for the check as we FADE.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find JACK QUINN and RORY THOMAS sitting in a booth at the OOWF Bladejob Deli not too far away from ZED and THE REVEREND BRICK~!. While JACK is attentively looking as RORY is demonstrating something on a cellphone, JACK still seems a bit perplexed*

RORY: “… So all you have to do is press down on the message that you want to reply directly to, and then choose reply. That will give you the ability to input your reply to that particular message. Really helpful when you’re in group chats and fall behind a few messages.”

JACK *taking his phone back*: “Oh. That makes sense. Thanks, kid.”

RT: “No, Mr. Quinn. Thank you. If not for you, I’d have been out of a job in OOWF before I technically even had one. But hey I gotta jet, we don't get a lot of time for lunch. I’ll just leave some cash on the table …”

JQ: “No. You … Ummmm … You helped me with my question. I’ll handle this. Just let Brenda up front know that I’m ready for the check.”

RT: “You got it, Mr. Quinn.”

*RORY heads to the front counter as JACK sits and stares at his phone*

JQ *muttering to himself*: “Was I just … Thanked? Mr. Quinn? What the hell are they teaching these kids?”

*JACK continues to stare at his phone as the scene fades*