Saturday Slam (No. 933) – March 25, 2023
Mar 20, 2023 11:03:46 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Mar 20, 2023 11:03:46 GMT -5
<Jack gets the check and orders a couple vegetarian wraps to go for he and Kali. As he waits, Brynn and Tara walk up to him holding coffee, Jack does not even look up from his phone>
J: If you throw that coffee on me to start a feud, I will........<struggling not to channel Moose> Look, what do you want?
B: You haven't even mentioned us!
T: I guess Jack Quinn is too GOOD for us!
J: No, look, I just........it's been a stressful week and I.....
B: Awwwww......Does Jackie need a safe space?
<Jack just glares>
T: Look, Moosehead JACKASS.....
<they both laugh>
T: ......I heard that simp Rory thanking you, but WE know it's bullshit. You didn't save the OOWF for US, you saved it for YOURSELF! You are just another pathetic has-been that is sticking around far too long taking up OUR time!
B: You know......Alexis isn't going to show.......maybe we should just end this now?
<They move toward Jack, Jack slides his hand down his leg toward his boot, but since he is not wrestling, no boot, no blade. Jack grabs a tray from the counter and SLAMS it in Brynn's face sending him to the floor, Tara swings, Jack ducks it and hits a spinning back fist to the side of the head, but from the floor, Brynn sweeps Jack's legs taking him down, Tara recovers and they pounce on Jack raining down kicks and punches, until someone races in with a chair and SLAMS it upside Brynn's head! And another grabs Tara and throws her into the cooler that holds the drinks shattering the glass. Jack gets back to his feet and the Battling Baristas size up the numbers game and decide it is not to their advantage and beat a hasty retreat. Jack turns around and we see Katie and PORK standing there. PORK extends his hand and Jack shakes it, Katie does the same>
P: It's an honor to meet you Mr. Quinn, I am PORK, this is Katie
J: Yeah......thanks for the help.
K: I hear you're a man who appreciates a drink
J: I am
K: Let us buy you a drink.
<Jack nods and orders a couple more wraps and gives one to PORK and Katie>
P: You're a vegetarian too?
J: Since January 1 this year
P: Well damn! I thought I was the only one!
<they head down the hall and stop in front of the door to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository.>
J: I am likely not welcome here.......
K: It will be fine, come in
<They walk in and the music scratches to a stop and everyone freezes>
JS: You're Moosehead Jack.....
J: I am Jack Quinn
ABFD: You shore do look like that chere Mooseyhead Jack! Is you kin to him?
J: I mean......yes?
Ellie May: Bill, we're being rude
ABFD: Well hell son, I haint meanin to be rude none, hey, Jackalantern Quinn, you like likker?
J: I do own my own brand of whiskey
ABFD: HELL YEAH SON! You got any?
<Jack hands Bill a flask and he takes a swig and swishes it>
ABFD: I detect notes of barrel aged oak, a rich smokiness and a subtle hint of vanilla, with just a touch of......is that just a a hint of a berry note?
J: I'm impressed!
ABFD: Well hell son! Try ya some of this! Ol Pappy Sill From Dawsonville done passed down this recipe from his pappy and his pappy's pappy!
<Jack takes a sip and barely keeps from spitting it out>
Jack: GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT!
ABFD: Well, uh, it's mostly greased lightning mixed with a secret proprietary list of uh, ingredients mixified with some windshield wiper fluid, which done gives it that minty taste, and finally........well, uh, they's other stuff in it as well!
J: <taking another long gulp and slamming the glass on the table> Old Fashioned Prairie drink off?
Arctic: Woah woah woah! I don't think that is a good idea..........but........I also know I am not going to talk you out of it so......let's do this!
<time passes and we see Kali walking down the hall>
K: Where the HELL is he?
<she finds an assistant and asks him if he's seen Jack, he shakes his head and heads on. Kali finally comes across Brynn and Tara, coming out of Medical>
K: You seen Jack?
B: <scoffing> Yeah! We were having a chat with him when PORK and Katie attacked us!
<Kali looks at them suspiciously>
T: WHAT? It could have happened like that!
<they skulk off and Kali heads toward the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL repository. When she walks in, we see everyone, Arctic, Opus, Ellie May, Bill, Justin, PORK, Katie and Jack all lying on the floor, not moving>
K: OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPP.....
J: .......and now breathe deeply, exhale slowly. Slowly bring your mind back to present, feel the energy return to your hands and feet, slowly move your body to restore the energy. Now, slowly bring yourself to a seated position, keep your eyes closed and bring your hands to heart center. Remember to show gratitude and respect to all. Take one last deep breath and raise your arms, open your eyes and slowly exhale. Namaste
All: Namaste
ABFD: WELL HOT DAMN SON! THAT WAS RIGHT PEACEIFIYING! I FEEL ALL WIBBLY WOBBLY!
Kali: What.......what is happening here?
J: <getting to his feet, staggering a bit from the PCPL> Well......it started as a Prairie Drink Off, and ended up with yoga
JS: If I had a dollar for every time THAT happened!
Kali: This happens a lot?
JS: I mean, no........can I borrow a dollar?
Kali: <sighs and digs in her pocket and hands Justin a dollar, he smiles broadly and scurries away, Jack and Kali thank everyone then leave. As they're heading to the car.....>
K: Well, we're going to have to come back another day, they still don't have a GM and Sizzle got roughed up by the Apple Dumpling Gang
Jack: The WHAT?
K: Something like that. I mean.......it's the OOWF, would you REALLY be surprised if Don Knotts showed up?
J: Well......given that he's dead....
K: It's the OOWF
J: Fair point <throwing her the keys> You drive.
<they hop into the car and pull out of the garage as we fade>
J: If you throw that coffee on me to start a feud, I will........<struggling not to channel Moose> Look, what do you want?
B: You haven't even mentioned us!
T: I guess Jack Quinn is too GOOD for us!
J: No, look, I just........it's been a stressful week and I.....
B: Awwwww......Does Jackie need a safe space?
<Jack just glares>
T: Look, Moosehead JACKASS.....
<they both laugh>
T: ......I heard that simp Rory thanking you, but WE know it's bullshit. You didn't save the OOWF for US, you saved it for YOURSELF! You are just another pathetic has-been that is sticking around far too long taking up OUR time!
B: You know......Alexis isn't going to show.......maybe we should just end this now?
<They move toward Jack, Jack slides his hand down his leg toward his boot, but since he is not wrestling, no boot, no blade. Jack grabs a tray from the counter and SLAMS it in Brynn's face sending him to the floor, Tara swings, Jack ducks it and hits a spinning back fist to the side of the head, but from the floor, Brynn sweeps Jack's legs taking him down, Tara recovers and they pounce on Jack raining down kicks and punches, until someone races in with a chair and SLAMS it upside Brynn's head! And another grabs Tara and throws her into the cooler that holds the drinks shattering the glass. Jack gets back to his feet and the Battling Baristas size up the numbers game and decide it is not to their advantage and beat a hasty retreat. Jack turns around and we see Katie and PORK standing there. PORK extends his hand and Jack shakes it, Katie does the same>
P: It's an honor to meet you Mr. Quinn, I am PORK, this is Katie
J: Yeah......thanks for the help.
K: I hear you're a man who appreciates a drink
J: I am
K: Let us buy you a drink.
<Jack nods and orders a couple more wraps and gives one to PORK and Katie>
P: You're a vegetarian too?
J: Since January 1 this year
P: Well damn! I thought I was the only one!
<they head down the hall and stop in front of the door to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository.>
J: I am likely not welcome here.......
K: It will be fine, come in
<They walk in and the music scratches to a stop and everyone freezes>
JS: You're Moosehead Jack.....
J: I am Jack Quinn
ABFD: You shore do look like that chere Mooseyhead Jack! Is you kin to him?
J: I mean......yes?
Ellie May: Bill, we're being rude
ABFD: Well hell son, I haint meanin to be rude none, hey, Jackalantern Quinn, you like likker?
J: I do own my own brand of whiskey
ABFD: HELL YEAH SON! You got any?
<Jack hands Bill a flask and he takes a swig and swishes it>
ABFD: I detect notes of barrel aged oak, a rich smokiness and a subtle hint of vanilla, with just a touch of......is that just a a hint of a berry note?
J: I'm impressed!
ABFD: Well hell son! Try ya some of this! Ol Pappy Sill From Dawsonville done passed down this recipe from his pappy and his pappy's pappy!
<Jack takes a sip and barely keeps from spitting it out>
Jack: GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT!
ABFD: Well, uh, it's mostly greased lightning mixed with a secret proprietary list of uh, ingredients mixified with some windshield wiper fluid, which done gives it that minty taste, and finally........well, uh, they's other stuff in it as well!
J: <taking another long gulp and slamming the glass on the table> Old Fashioned Prairie drink off?
Arctic: Woah woah woah! I don't think that is a good idea..........but........I also know I am not going to talk you out of it so......let's do this!
<time passes and we see Kali walking down the hall>
K: Where the HELL is he?
<she finds an assistant and asks him if he's seen Jack, he shakes his head and heads on. Kali finally comes across Brynn and Tara, coming out of Medical>
K: You seen Jack?
B: <scoffing> Yeah! We were having a chat with him when PORK and Katie attacked us!
<Kali looks at them suspiciously>
T: WHAT? It could have happened like that!
<they skulk off and Kali heads toward the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL repository. When she walks in, we see everyone, Arctic, Opus, Ellie May, Bill, Justin, PORK, Katie and Jack all lying on the floor, not moving>
K: OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPP.....
J: .......and now breathe deeply, exhale slowly. Slowly bring your mind back to present, feel the energy return to your hands and feet, slowly move your body to restore the energy. Now, slowly bring yourself to a seated position, keep your eyes closed and bring your hands to heart center. Remember to show gratitude and respect to all. Take one last deep breath and raise your arms, open your eyes and slowly exhale. Namaste
All: Namaste
ABFD: WELL HOT DAMN SON! THAT WAS RIGHT PEACEIFIYING! I FEEL ALL WIBBLY WOBBLY!
Kali: What.......what is happening here?
J: <getting to his feet, staggering a bit from the PCPL> Well......it started as a Prairie Drink Off, and ended up with yoga
JS: If I had a dollar for every time THAT happened!
Kali: This happens a lot?
JS: I mean, no........can I borrow a dollar?
Kali: <sighs and digs in her pocket and hands Justin a dollar, he smiles broadly and scurries away, Jack and Kali thank everyone then leave. As they're heading to the car.....>
K: Well, we're going to have to come back another day, they still don't have a GM and Sizzle got roughed up by the Apple Dumpling Gang
Jack: The WHAT?
K: Something like that. I mean.......it's the OOWF, would you REALLY be surprised if Don Knotts showed up?
J: Well......given that he's dead....
K: It's the OOWF
J: Fair point <throwing her the keys> You drive.
<they hop into the car and pull out of the garage as we fade>