[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – April 22, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

OOWF Intercontinental Championship four-way elimination matches
• Match 1: Justin Sane vs. Sandra Fallon vs. Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville
• Match 2: Bridget O’Malley vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton vs. Angie Delpetro vs. Nuke

OOWF World Championship four-way elimination matches
• Match 1: Kylie Mignolio vs. Mac Flasher vs. Zed vs. Alexander Darling
• Match 2: Katie Bardoor vs. Lexie Darling vs. Jack Quinn vs. Beverly Cambridge

OOWF Rookie Showcase battle royal
• Rory Thomas, PORK, Sean Franklin, Ona Jones, Pete Quick, The Woodsmen (Hunter and Dakota), The Electric Company (Joe and Jamie), The One-Notes (Carrie and Harper) and The Battling Baristas (Brynn and Tara). 

Card subject to Josie wanting to go to South of the Border. 

[L!zz~]

(The ZeBevKy+B'OM+JM contingent regrouped in tbe back after the show ended)

Josie, still in her jersey, paced. "We had mixed results out there, but in 2 weeks we will be victorious..."

Zed cleared his throat, "Kylie and I face each other.." Josie cut him off, "And one of you will be victorious. I don't care which of you..." her eyes narrowed..as Bridget scoffed. "You won't be rooting for Alex?" She asked wearily, a little hurt. Josie hugged her. "I will. A little. But he cheated. I don't like cheating to win."

Bridget hugged her back. "I understand. You going to wash your hand?" Josie shook her head no, as she turned to Jeff. She patted him on his arm. "Tomorrow you rest. It's Easter. Monday we start tapes. " Jeff nodded, "thanks Josie. "


Jeff sighed to himself, he was actually going to listen to an 11 year old. But what could it hurt?

Zed seemed to know what he was thinking and smirked. He patted Jeff on the shoulder. "Let's go grab a drink"

(We fade as Kylie starts to tell the others she hired Ashley)

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find FIREWOMAN sitting in her office as a WELL-DRESSED MAN enters with invitation from LUCKY*

FIREWOMAN: “Good evening, Mr. Jennings. I apologize, I didn’t catch your first name.”

MR. JENNINGS: “Adam, of Adam Jennings Motors. I’m Reese’s father.”

F: “Reese?”

AJ: “I think he’s going by ‘Nuke’ in your employ.”

F: “Oh yes. Him. I’m sure you want your son to be granted title matches, a raise and product endorsements.”

AJ: “Actually, his little wrestling phase annoys me as much as his actions are annoying some of the wrestlers in this company. I’m here to apply for a managerial license on behalf of his little friend. I overheard on OOWF.tv that she was without license and that may be problematic to you.”

F: “With the way she’s been inserting herself into the business of others, I should require her to become an active wrestler. I also should have had her arrested as soon as she started getting involved in matters without being on our payroll. You can thank my assistant GM, Shizuru-Mune, for talking me out of that.”

AJ: “I’m sure they’ll never express their gratitude, but Mrs. Jennings and I appreciate you not making things with Reese’s friend a legal matter.”

F: “Well, Lucky will get you the paperwork. As a notary, Lucky will stamp all documents requiring notarization. You’ll just need to provide a witness to sign alongside you.”

AJ: “It will all be on your desk by Monday morning.”

F: “Mr. Jennings. What did you mean earlier when you said ‘little wrestling phase’ in reference to your son being here?”

AJ: “No matter how hard Reese tries to project this image of being a street-tough punk kid, he was a kid who never had to want for anything and attended a fairly prestigious private school in St. Paul, where he was a 4.0 student. His actions are not reflective of the child that Brenda and I raised. He could be running one of the smaller dealerships under the Jennings name today if he'd just figure out that wrestling is beneath him.”

*ADAM pulls out his cellphone to show images of NUKE during his pre-NUKE years, with many showing a scholarly youngster*

AJ: “After high school, he got mixed up with Annie. Classic case of rebellion because we didn’t approve of Reese dating … Well, city trash.”

F *raising her brow*: “Excuse me? City. Trash?”

AJ: “We just feel that Reese could date closer to our tax bracket, if you catch my drift.”

F *while slamming her water bottle on her desk*: “So you’re saying that a woman who was raised in urban environment and wasn’t given all she could ever want as a child, isn’t the type of girl that you’d approve for your son … Because if you go deep into the OOWF.tv archives, you’ll know that I’m an Annie from Detroit, and I fought for years to get to where I am while stepping on and breaking the necks of those with attitudes just like yours the whole way up. And I will ruin you if you keep digging this hole because ruining classist fucks like you sparkles with me greatly.”

*ADAM begins to stammer*

F: “I think you were trying to say that you’ll have what I need on my desk by Monday morning.”

*ADAM gulps and nods*

F: “Good. Now leave.”

*ADAM turns and walks out of the office at a brisk pace while FIREWOMAN takes multiple deep breaths as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<Jack is sitting on the table in OOWF medical being checked out after his match. The doc looks into his eyes, has him follow his fingers, then turns off the light and puts it in his pocket.>

Doc: Mr. Quinn, I am afraid you have suffered another minor concussion, far less severe than the one a few weeks ago, but I am still putting you in concussion protocol, which means no contact whatsoever for a week, when I will once again reevaluate you.

<Katie and PORK walk in and flank Jack>

J: It's ok guys. Look Doc, I'll take it......

<Just then Fire comes in and starts throwing things around and breaking anything not nailed down. While Fire rages, Katie takes out her phone and shows Jack the earlier promo, Jack just sighs and lets Fire work out her rage. Eventually everything is broken>

J: You seem upset

<Fire glares at Jack>

J: What's the problem now?

FW: THAT.......THAT.......MAN! THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF........ <Fire turns around and grabs something that somehow hadn't been completely broken and throws it against the wall>

J: Yeah I saw the promo

FW: GOOD! So......when do we get him?

J: WE do not "get" him, and if you value your position here as much as you obviously do, you won't either

<Fire stares hard at Jack for a moment>

FW: You've changed

J: Thank you

FW: <storming out of the room> IT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT!

<Jack shakes his head and gets off the table and puts on his jacket, PORK and Katie look at one another, then at Jack>

J: What?

P: The lineup is posted

J: And?

K: Well, I am in a four way match, me against Bev.......Lexie and.............you

<Jack nods his head as if he knew this>

K: Look, I mean, you know I have your back and all and I.....

J: Katie, once that bell rings, I am not your mentor, I am not your friend, I am not your stablemate, I am none of those things. The only thing I am is your opponent. Do you understand that?

K: Yes Jack

J: PORK, what are you doing this week?

P: Battle Royal.

J: You're going to be the biggest guy in there, everyone else will work together to get rid of you. Work smarter, not harder.

<Jack takes a few steps toward the door and stumbles, grabbing his head. Katie and PORK both move to help him, but Jack just plays it off like he tripped, but for an instant, a look of concern crosses his face. The trio head out the door and back to their quarters as we fade>

[Fire-Babe]

Later, back at the Gates of Hell

FW: I dunno, maybe it'd be better just a straight tournament...

L: Too late now...

SMM-C: It's easier to do this way for the match writer--

Kayfabe emerges from the shadows. Fire looks at her and nods. Kay dissolves into smoke and disappears.

SMM-C: Whoa....

FW: You were saying?

SMM-C: I mean, uh... it would take forever....

FW: Better... Tell Hightower I want to see him too... now, time to draw up plans for the party!

SMM-C: Yes!!

L: No...

FW: Why are you so against it?

L: Huh?

FW: You've just been really snarky lately, and I am not sure why.

L: I have a WHOLE LIST OF --

Lucky is interrupted by a small voice, clearing her throat. The three look over to the door and see Josie standing in a business suit, holding a leatherette binder.

J: Ms. Quinn, may I have a moment? I know I don't have an appointment, but no one was at the desk.

The three adults look at each other, trying to maintain their seriousness.

FW: Not a problem at all, Ms. Mignolio. Our meeting is over, and these men were just leaving.

Lucky and Shizuru stand and nod respectfully to Josie, who professionally nods back. They manage to avoid breaking into a smile until just outside the door.

FW: Please have a seat. Now what can I do for you?

Josie walks to the desk and hands Fire her binder, then sits down. Her feet barely touch the ground. Fire opens the binder, to find a piece of paper that is embedded with glitter.

J: That's my resume. I thought you'd like the sparkle.

FW: *concealing her smile, although her eyes are giving it away, a little* Very impressive at your age. And you did a good job last night at the show too, but I'm afraid I'm not allowed to hire an 11-year-old to be a manager.

J: Oh this isn't to be a manager. This is about babysitting Patrick. I sent you an email and--

FW: Oh, yes, yes...I'm so sorry I forgot...in all the hubbub of getting this up and running--

J: Totally understandable. *more professional voice* As you can see here, I am a straight A student, I am certified in infant and child CPR, including choking and AED usage, first aid--

FW: Yes, very impressive....

J: I know that you have a choice for your child care needs, I just would like to be in the running for the job.

FW: *smiling but in a professional way, and not mocking* Well, right now Gramma Mann is available for us, but.... Let me talk to Lucas about it, okay?

J: That seems fair.

FW: Great...

J: ....

FW: ....

J: ...

FW: Was there something else?

J: It's just....can I ask about your .... ex?

FW: .... Um.....

J: Alex.

FW: OH... oh, sure.... I suppose....

J: He just seems different.

FW: Yes, yes he does.

J: He sent me presents.

FW: Hm...I would think you're a bit too young for him....

Kayfabe materializes again. Fire rolls her eyes, and gets up and walks toward the bookshelves, deep in thought. Kayfabe disappears

J: Are you okay?

FW: Just thinking....

Fire grabs a DVD off the shelf, with Japanese writing.

FW: You know, we were all in Japan together.

J: I know!

FW: We got to know each other pretty well.

J: *scowling* I'm not allowed to know about that stuff.

FW: I meant in GENERAL. He really, really likes Japanese wrestling... especially this.

Fire hands Josie the video. The only English words are "President Ramu."

J: Cool!!

FW: Yep. She started wrestling when she was younger than you are now. Just something you can study and practice...and maybe something of a conversation starter.

J: Wow.... *Josie's eyes are wide with preteen appreciation* Thanks, Fire!! Are you going to the brunch?

FW: Um...I don't know.... Easter's not really my thing.

J: Well, I hope you do...

Josie adjusts from pre-teen to professional and holds out her hand.

J: Thank you for considering my proposal. I look forward to working with you.

FW: *shaking Josie's hand* Likewise....

Josie leaves walking very sedately...until she turns the corner and then breaks into an excited run. Fire smiles and shakes her head.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER sitting inside his apartment while watching video of his match with AWESOME BILL FROM DAWSONVILLE just at the point where NUKE inserted himself into matters. MAC spots a silver-haired man, dressed in an immaculate suit patting a person eventually revealed as NUKE on the shoulder just before he hopped the railing and attacked MAC*

MAC *to himself*: “Wait. So Nuke’s dad orchestrated this? I thought he didn’t want Nuke to be a part of something so beneath the family name or whatever.”

*MAC rewinds and watches the sequence over and over*

MF *again to himself since DrMcAWESOME’s cats are sleeping in another room*: “Oh, that’s definitely the guy who was in Firewoman’s office. I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she cares. Wait. What does this guy have against me?”

*MAC fast-forwards to the closing sequence of NUKE’s match against ZED when MAC takes the chain from NUKE, leading to ZED picking up the victory. He sees ANNIE nodding toward the hard camera side just before attempting to distract GAVIN ‘JUNIOR’ HALE*

MF *again to himself*: “Wait. I thought this guy hated Annie because she was ‘city trash’ or some shit. Either this guy is pulling the strings for these two … I mean, that explains why he’s applying for the license for some woman he supposedly disapproves of, but it’s … Maybe I need to visit Bing-Bong since my supply of ‘REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER’ is getting low.”

*MAC continues grinding tape while trying to piece together what he saw as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY in the training wing of the ZeBevKy Compound as she’s taking a breather following a heavy sparring session with a heavy bag while in a barely-lit room. As BRIDGET catches her breath, she spots the camera and takes the moment to issue a statement*

BRIDGET: “Why I’d think that Alexander Darling would try to beat me on his own merit is silly, because he proved that he believes he can’t beat me in a straight up match. Now I’m competing for the Intercontinental Championship in a field almost exclusively filled with people who have not held singles gold in OOWF. Awesome Bill has won a few Onslaught titles and I’m a two-time Intercontinental champion. To win those titles, I had to beat great champions in Mai Muyo and Stank. Both times, I lost those championships to Zed, who you might consider to be a dark horse to emerge from the World Championship tournament as its champion.

“I guess what I’m trying to say to Diego “Pop” Roxton, Angie Delpetro and Nuke is this, I’m the one who has been there. I’m the one who has battled for this title. I’m the one who has proudly defended this championship. While others may view my presence in this tournament as a consolation prize, I see it as a chance to reclaim MY championship. A title that I will defend proudly. A title that will not leave my waist unless you damn near kill me. Diego. Angie. Nuke. Ask yourselves if you think you have what it takes to dethrone the soon-to-be-recrowned OOWF Intercontinental champion. Justin. Sandra. Jeff. Bill. Ask yourselves the same thing, because one of you will be seeing me on May 5. 

“I assure all of you that you don’t have what it takes.”

*BRIDGET inserts her AirPods and resumes her striking workout as the scene fades*

[L!zz~]

(The Compound was once again bustling. All the invites, which were carefully created by Josie and Bridget, had been sent out with many RSVP. But, it was open house so people could show up if they wanted.)

Zed lifted Josie onto his shoulders so she could hang the Ramadan Mubarak banner. Jeff held the other end in place and they tacked it up together. "Good job" Zed said as he swung Josie down.

Bridget and Kylie were spreading out a tablecloth for the Arabic/Muslim treats. They had no idea what anyone celebrated but in case anyone did, they were prepared. They even had Kosher food catered in.

Ashley and Spencer were setting up the dessert stations as Bev rushed around the kitchen manning various ovens.

Zed sighed. "We need more help.."

Josie pulled out her phone and text Mac. A split screen, showed Mac almost immediately, with bubble texts appearing on the screen a few moments later.

Josie: "hey."

(We see Mac take a long breath as her text pops up. He mumbles she probably needs something mailed. He text back)

Mac: Whats up kiddo?

Josie: why aren't you here helping?

Mac: I don't think I'm coming.

Josie: WHAT?? Almost everyone is coming. You have too. Tio is your best friend. How can you not come?

Mac: Josie, you know why.

Josie: (as we see her frown types quickly) Titi Bridget will be fine. There will be lots of people here. Ash and Spen just moved in. Katie is coming. Pork. Bill. Justin. You HAVE to come Tio Mac.

Mac groaned, when she pulled out the Tio, he knew she was going in for the kill.

Mac grabbed his keys and text back, giving in before she really laid it on thick. He text: coming to help and we will go from there. Deal?

Josie grinned as she text: deal. And I'll show you my new chemistry set. Wait till you see what I have brewing..

(Mac sighed again and we fade as he headed out)

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the Quinn residence where we see Katie, PORK and Kali standing in the kitchen looking out the glass doors onto the spacious deck where Jack Quinn sits in full lotus.>

KB: How long has he been out there?

K: Three hours, at least

P: Wow. He doesn't even know we're here

K: Oh, he knows

P: How?

K: Irish shit. <Kali looks at Jack for a long time, finally Katie notices it>

KB: Something bothering you?

K: <sighing> I just wish others could see it. This business just makes everyone so damn cynical

KB: Well, I mean, he DOES have a history.....

P: A rap sheet of violence that makes most gangs blush

K: <getting frustrated> I know, but how do you change that? How do you undo decades of violence? If you had seen him up at LD's......when the OOWF closed up, I really don't know if anyone was hurt more than Jack, and I know that is hard for anyone to believe because Jack.....errr......Moose was Moose, but <looking outside again> THAT isn't Moose.

<as she finishes, Jack finally moves, slowly bringing his hands to heart center and nodding deeply before getting to his feet in one effortless motion. Jack stands tall and stretches fully, standing in tree pose and soaking up the sun. He turns and walks into the kitchen and kisses Kali on the forehead and slaps PORK and Katie on the back>

J: PORK, Kelly...

KB: <giving him a strange look> Katie

J: Right......what did I say?

KB: Kelly

J: HA! Must have been in the sun too long..so, PORK, did you finish watching those battle royal videos?

P: I did. Seems like the key is to stay low

J: Exactly. You outweigh everyone in the OOWF, so for them to have a chance, they have to get you over the top rope. Stay in the middle, and stay low, and unleash hell on them. There is no reason you shouldn't win this. I have a training session scheduled for 8am tomorrow, three hours of you against the training class.

P: Seems a little unfair

<Jack raises his eyebrows>

P: For them

J: And Katie, what about your match?

KB: Well, I have watched a lot of Lexie's matches, she is every bit as good as her brother.....

J: In some ways better. Lexie is lighter, so she is considerably faster. And while she is not generally as violent as......other members of her family, she has a mean streak in her. Though, I suspect that will mostly be reserved for me. What about Bev?

KB: Little bit harder to get a read on her.

J: Here's what you need to know, Bev is a two time world champion, and at the time the OOWF shut down, she was the reigning champion. She beat two future OOWF hall of famers in Firewoman and Matt Folz to win those titles. She is also a multiple time tag champion, once beating my sister and I for the belts, and she is a multiple time onslaught champion. Essentially, she has nearly done it all here, and done it while flying a bit under the radar. Start with her world title wins and go from there.

KB: <nodding> That just leaves you

J: <grinning> Guess we'll see how much you learned during the match.

K: I assume you will be cleared

J: <seemingly unconcerned> Doc said there was no new concussion, or at least not severe, I am not worried about it.

K: Alexis is going to target you

J: Will she? Neither of them want anything to do with me. She will try to win, just like the others, but I don't see her specifically going after me

K: And if she does?

KB: I'll beat her ass!

J: See?

K: What about Bev?

J: Have I done anything to her specifically?

K: Define "anything"

J: Have I tried to maim her intentionally?

K: .......probably?

J: Still, not like her to specifically target someone for injury. Victory, yes, injure, no. Kali, stop worrying, I'll be fine.

<Jack kisses Kali again and he, Katie and PORK retreat to the tape room for study time. Kali does not look convinced in any way whatsoever.>

K: <to no one in particular> maybe I should talk to Bev......

<fade>

[Fire-Babe]

Everyone contractually involved with the OOWF received the following invitation. It is on expensive black paper with golden printing in fancy script.

Your attendance is required at a reception as the home of General Manager Lisa Marie Quinn and Lucas Mann
to celebrate the successful return of Online Onslaught Wrestling Federation to the airwaves
and as a meet-and-greet for the crew, staff, and talent.

Food and beverage will be provided.

No contact rules shall be in place and strictly enforced.

Only contracted personnel may attend.

At the bottom is the date and address.

[Sportsguy]

We fade in to see Jack and Kali Quinn in their room when a messenger knocks on their door. Jack signs for the package, tips the messenger and opens the package. Inside are some DVDs, a notebook and a letter.

"Hey Jack,
First of all, I hope the head's okay. I had a ton of concussions myself and know they're not a joke. Now... Not to take anything away from Beverly, she's extraordinarily talented and might have beat me anyway. But I wouldn't be me unless I pointed out that she only won the World Championship from me AFTER that cowardly fucking bitch Sebastian Davis jumped me before I got in the ring. Anyway, enclosed are DVDs of the wars I did have with Beverly and also Alexis when I was 100%. Along with my notes on them. You and your trainee- man that feels weird to type- feel free to use them or throw them away at your leisure.

I'm still watching (Well, inbetween Bucks and Brewers games that is, ha). Jaime and I both say hi to Kali.

Matthew Robert Folz

P.S As tempting as it might be, considering that a World Championship shot is on the line and Alexis is in the ring with you, You...Don't...Need...HIM. Just keep that in mind."

Jack reads the note and smiles as we...... FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<Jack, PORK and Katie are walking down the hall toward the Former Destroyitarium>

J: ........ok PORK, remember, stay away from the ropes. Use that clothesline to eliminate people, tonight, rewatch some of Vader's matches, you have the size to pin them in the corner and just bludgeon them with forearms to the side of the head. And Katie, how's the submission finisher coming?

KB: Still trying to find something quick. I have been working on the STF

J: But not the shitty John Cena version, right?

KB: Oh god no.

J: Good. Now, for the match this week, look......I appreciate what you said about Alexis, but.......look, let's just not poke that bear more than we have to? At least not in defense of me. I want nothing to do with them. Don't turn this into something it doesn't need to be.

KB: Yes sensei

J: What?

<as they round the corner we see Kali standing in front of the door with a grin on her face, Jack stops and looks at the three of them>

P: We know you wanted to get away from the Drink & Destroy name and start something of your own.

KB: And we know from watching the tapes that Stan used to call you sensei....

K: So, the three of us decided on this......

SHOKEN DOJO

J: Shoken.....

K: It means redemption. It ties to your roots in Japan, and with LD. It pays homage to your past without reliving your past

J: <clearly moved> I mean.....I am not a martial arts instructor......

KB: No, but you are a teacher.

P: Look Jack, I've been in this business for almost twenty years, and I have learned more in the last month than in the twenty years before. You gave me a chance to tell my story.

J: <grinning> Alright then. Shoken Dojo it is.

<PORK and Katie go inside, Kali stops Jack before he goes in and shows him the invitation from Fire>

J: What's this?

K: Housewarming/welcome back/meet and greet kind of thing

J: At Fire's place

K: Yep.

J: Wonder if the ghost band will play something more than bluegrass?

K: I've always meant to ask, how the hell does she do that?

J: Irish shit

<Kali laughs and they head inside and we fade>

[Jack Quinn]

<Jack gets done reading the note and looks at the DVD's>

J: Kali, the second we get those Shoken Dojo shirts made up, send one to Folz and Jamie

K: Are we handing them out like hockey shirts?

J: <laughing> No, we are not. Also, remind them that they have the use of our place anytime they want to get the hell out of Wisconsin.

<Kali nods and we fade>

[Sportsguy]

We fade in to a nice home in Sydney Australia and see former OOWF Onslaught and Tag Team Champion Lindsay McAllister sitting contently with her arm around her wife Jennifer. Lindsay's phone goes off and she looks at it with an anguished look on her face.

Jennifer: Who is it babe?

Lindsay: Someone who I didn't think I'd speak to again.

The phone continues to ring.

Jennifer: Going to answer it?

Lindsay sighs and hits answer.

Lindsay: What the fuck do you want Lexi? you made your choice.

Sadly we have trouble with the ninja cams as we.... FADE.

[Fire-Babe]

The patio is decorated for a party, tasteful, yet nothing overtly breakable. The ghost bluegrass band is playing some slower songs. Drinks, food, staff... all ready to go. The residents of the house are dressed for a party. Stank is in a dark-almost-grey suit with a dark blue satin shirt. Fire is in matching dark-grey pants, and a dark blue blouse.

S: Okay, just checked with ma, Patrick has had his bath and is attempting to read a book.

FW: I'm glad we kept the hotel suite for the rest of the month.

S: Yeah, no sense in having a toddler at a wrestling party. I'm not even sure why we are having it here, given...how these things go.

FW: Look, I just want people to get to know each other. And, you need to talk to your mother again. Patrick was going on and on about another magic rabbit to give him eggs and chocolate.

S: Didn't we do that?

FW: Yes, in March, for the equinox...NOW he thinks he gets one in April because of Easter, which he would have only heard of from--

S: Okay but what's the worst that can happen? He thinks he's in a 'chocolate-rabbit-of-the-month club?'

FW: I'm not sharing my chocolate everything....hey, Lucky's here.

L: Well....let's get this trainwreck started.

Fire glares at Lucky, while Stank goes to get a drink.

[L!zz~]

(The ZeBevKy clan was decked out for the party, while Josie sulked on the couch. Zed sighed and called her over. As she took her time he said her name with some sterness, "Josephine..now."

Josie knew he rarely used that tone and hurried over. "Yes Tio?" Zed knelt down to her height and whispered something in here.

Josie's eyes flashed a moment but than she nodded. "OK Tio." She hugged him. Zed hugged her back.

Josie turned to her aunts and Jeff and wished them a good time. "If there is any cake bring me some."

Kylie promised she would try. Jeff grinned "if there isn't I'll get you some on the way home. " Josie gave him a fist bump with a small smile.

Ashley walked up to them. "Don't worry. We will have fun here. "

(With some final words of behave and I'll check in later the mad cap group of Zed, Bev, Kylie, Bridget and Jeff departed for the party.)

Kylie looked at Zed.."What did you say to her?"

"That she wasn't thinking. She was going to be with two people who know her dear Alexander. If she was subtle enough she might learn a few things.."

Kylie sighed. "I wish you wouldn't encourage her in this."

Zed stopped walking and looked at her. "Josie isn't doing all this just because she has a little crush on the guy. A harmless crush by the way. She somehow feels she can help him and in that way she will help herself work thru some issues. I keep a close eye on all this Kylie. I know how I might come off sometimes, laid back. Whatever..but never with Josie. Never. Ash and Spencer will catch on quick and entertain her making her work for it while giving her a few minor tidbits."

Kylie nodded. "OK. I trust you."

(We fade as they catch up to the rest and we over hear Bridget say she doesn't want to be the first to arrive)

[DevSop]

*Darkened Room of the Darling Non-Luxury Locker Room*

Alexis Darling has just returned from Firewoman & Lucas's housewarming, get-to-know everyone, welcome back party where she surprisingly had a good time (details to be edited in later hopefully.) Lexie walks around her empty locker room as Ashley & Spencer are still at the ZeBevKy compound hanging out with Josie and the members of the menagerie who did not make the trek to the Mann's home. Lexie stumbles a little bit and we can tell she might be a bit buzzed, but not drunk or intoxicated. She sighs a bit before lying back on her bed. And as everyone can and should tell you, if you are buzzed, you should throw your phone far far far away but Lexie Darling does not do that. Instead she takes it out and starts scrolling through her contacts. Her facial expressions ran the gamut of emotions as she sees different names before she stops scrolling and takes a deep breath before hitting connect.

A few seconds later, the phone call goes through and we hear through the power of OOWF ninja-cams and microphones...

Lindsay: What the fuck do you want Lexie? You made your choice...

Lexie: ...

Lindsay: Hello? Are you there? Why are you calling?

Lexie: Hi.

Lindsay: What do you want Lexie? What are you doing?

Lexie: I'm not sure. I'm really not sure what I am doing or why I'm doing it. But I know I needed...no, I know I wanted to talk to you.

Lindsay: Lexie, what's wrong? You don't sound like yourself.

Lexie: Do you remember the last time we saw each other? There you were...getting married not even 5 months after we broke up and looking amazing and there I am talking to your brother-in-law and Jamie realizing that the previous 5 months had been the worst 5 months of my life.

Lindsay: What are you doing? Why are you telling me this?

Lexie: Because here I am. Back where we met and back in the one place where everything felt right and now nothing feels right. So, here's the truth Lindsay...that night that you said you were tired of the constant travel and wanted to find something with consistency, you weren't alone but it wasn't just the two of us.

Lindsay: Right. And you chose him. And I would have continued to mostly be okay with that, but a week later, I find out that all the shows that the 3 of us were booked on together, I find out I am mysteriously not needed anymore and you didn't fix it.

Lexie: He was broken and I thought if I just gave him some more time...

Lindsay: Well, from what I can tell, he's back to the Brat Prince and everything should be back to normal.

Lexie: If you're watching, you know nothing is normal. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I was just going to do a few signings and then all of a sudden I'm back on shows and winning and that's all besides the point.

Lindsay: Then what is the point?

Lexie: I don't know Linds. I know I have Spencer & Ashley here and yet I feel alone. You are the only one who knows what he was like after the company shut down and I can't talk about it with anyone else. I just have never done anything in this business alone and I'm not sure I can or even want to.

Lindsay: What are you asking?

Lexie: I'm not sure, but if this is really back and it has legs, I could use a friend, a partner, an ally.

Lindsay: You're joking right? You expect me to go back to that madhouse.

Lexie: Maybe? Don't tell me you don't miss it just a little. I'm not asking for anything more than coming in for a week or two. Watch a show. Catch up with some friends. Bring Jennifer to meet some of your old friends. Have Jamie and Matt come in too. They've been around a little. Just, come and tell me I'm not nuts for giving this another shot.

Lindsay: *laughing* You're absolutely nuts, but I'll think about it. And as for the other thing that can not be talked about...it'll work itself out.

Lexie: 18 months of silence says differently, but it was good talking to you. See you if I see you.

Lexie hangs up the phone and takes a pillow and covers her face as she screams. On the other side of the world, Lindsay looks at her phone and we fade before we see any sort of sign of her feelings.

*Fade*

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to the Firewoman shindig as Shokan Dojo arrives, all sporting the new white, black and red SHOKAN DOJO shirts. Jack, Kali, PORK and Katie walk in and look around, Jack spies Lucas and heads in that direction.>

L: <hugging Kali and shaking Jack’s hand> Glad you made it!

J: Lucas, let me introduce PORK…..

P: <Shaking Lucas’ hand> It’s an honor

J: ………and Katie Bardoor

KB: <eagerly shaking Lucas’ hand> pleasure to meet you Mr. Mann

L: Please, just Lucas

<Kali ushers PORK and Katie away to meet someone else, Jack and Lucas stop by the bar and get a drink from Arctic, then head up the stairs to the upper balcony where they light cigars and look out at the crowd below>

L: Quite the accomplishment

J: I never doubted Fire could pull this off

L: Not Fire, I mean you. Taking PORK and Katie under your wing like that? Whodathunk it, right?

J: Well, in fairness, I kind of did the same with Chloe

L: Only now you use your powers for good <laughing> they look pretty good in the ring.

J: They are coming along in a hurry. PORK has more experience, obviously, but he has a chance to be right up there with you, Lock and Fulton as great OOWF big men, he is really damn good. And Katie, she fits right into the OOWF, she would rather face men in the ring. Reminds me a little bit of Fire, but just a straight up fighter. She is going to be a big deal.
<they stop and puff their cigars and take a drink in silence>

L: Did you ever think you would be <waving all around> HERE

J: Lucas, I didn’t think I would be alive six months after the OOWF ended. This is beyond anything

L: <taking a deep breath and turning to look at Jack> Jack, you know I don’t ever like to pry, but…….are you ok?

J: I’m great

L: Jack, I’m being serious. I saw the stuff about the dreams. Are you still having those dreams?

J: I mean……..yes. But they are different now.

L: How?

J: Trust me. It’s all good.

L: <shaking his head> something doesn’t feel right Jack. I don’t trust Lexie

J: Lexie?

L: Yes. I……..I just have a bad feeling. This stuff with her brother…..

J: Has nothing to do with me

L: Doesn’t it?

J: <staring out toward the mountains> Lucas, do you know why this is so important to me?

L: To prove you can do it without…….Him

J: Not just that. <Jack pauses for a long time> this is going to sound religious, and trust me, it’s not, but……..I have spent my life doing terrible things. I know I have to pay a penance for my sins. I know to find redemption, I have to atone for my sins. No one believes me, that’s part of it, I understand that. I will never be able to change some people’s minds, maybe even including my own sister, no matter what I alone do, it will never be enough for some. But I can take my time left and teach. I can offer redemption to those who seek it. I was once a saint of sinners, maybe the other side is to be a saint who has sinned.

L: <taking a deep breath> Just…….look, just promise me that if things start getting……..you know…….call me

J: Lincoln, I got this under control.

<Stank gives him a strange look, but before he can say anything Fire and Kali walk up to them>

K: Told you we’d find them hiding up here

<the four chat as we fade to black>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER and ZED standing at the first tee before playing a round at The Country Club of Asheville. Both look the part of golfers on this day, but only ZED appears comfortable in pants that are not made from denim. MAC places his ball on the tee and selects his club before stepping in*

ZED: “So … I never took you as much for golfing. Color me surprised.”

MAC: “With as much Golden Tee as I’ve played, I should at least be able to fake my way through this round and get something in the 80s.”

Z: “Was that what you were doing when Fire’s party was happening?”

MF: “Wait. What party?”

Z: “Her housewarming party. Everyone on the payroll was invited.”

MF: “I never got that invite. How was it sent out?”

Z: “Mine was delivered by a white owl.”

MF: “She would spare no expense to play up this party.”

Z: “I was being sarcastic. It was in an email sent to our company inboxes.”

MF *grabbing his phone and scrolling through 668 unread messages*: “Oh … Damn. There it was.”

Z: “Well, you’d have probably not been in the best spirits. Your boy, Nuke, was there with Annie and his dad until security roughly booted Mr. Jennings. Bridget was there and was quite vocal about, well, every area that you have ever come up short, almost to the point where she and Nuke almost were bonding. Then she just kept telling Nuke to stop pushing your buttons because she knows what you’ll do when pushed too far. She then spent the next 45 minutes denying to anyone in the room that she does not still care about you. It didn’t matter if they were curious or not, she’d tell them.”

MF: “Sounds awkward. Was she drunk? High?”

Z: “She was our DD. She was BYU sober.”

MF: “I see. Well, that foursome of elderly women behind us looks a bit peeved that we’re standing here chattering.”

Z: “Yeah. You gonna hit the ball, Sergio?”

MF: “Give me a second.”

*MAC tees off and immediately sends his drive out of play. A supercut of MAC’s attempts to golf along with a time lapse of his worsening mood follow as he’s just taking an eight on most holes before moving to the next tee. ZED isn’t much better, but can at least avoid maxing out most holes. The pair, having let the elderly foursome play ahead of them so that they’d stop heckling MAC, are at the tee box for No. 18 with MAC getting the honors to go first*

MF *looking at the INC in case NUKE happens to be watching*: “I must stop the terror. I call upon all OOWF wrestlers to do everything they can to stop these anarchist punks. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”

*MAC unleashes his best drive of the day, drawing it to avoid the bunker flanking the fairway, setting himself up nicely to hit his first green in regulation*

Z: “So you talk shit on a guy and suddenly you’re Tiger Woods?”

MF: “Yeah. I guess.”

*MAC and ZED finish the round, with MAC throwing away the card without doing the math, with ZED trying to multiply eight 17 times and then add four to that total in his head for MAC’s score. They walk to their vehicles as MAC sees that all four tires on his car have been slashed. MAC stands in silent shock as ZED sees what has MAC’s attention*

Z: “Gonna need a lift?”

MF: “Is this because I wasn’t at the party?”

Z: “Even if it was, I don’t think Firewoman would spray paint “FLASHER FUCK OFF” on your hood in bright green paint.”

*MAC gets on his phone to call a tow truck as the scene fades*

[DevSop]

*Some local Asheville VFW Hall*

There is a small po-dunk independent wrestling show happening with some local backyarders, OOWF trainees, and over-the-hill recognizable names. As the local fans continue to enjoy the show, we get to what is presumed to be intermission when the lights in the building go off. A cheap looking green spotlight illuminates the entrance as "King of the World" begins to blast throughout the horrible sound system. A casual looking Alexander Darling steps out from the back and makes his way down to the ring. He avoids the fans reaching out to touch the designer clothes he's wearing as he slides under the bottom rope. He grabs the microphone and takes a seat on a turnbuckle...

Alex: What a fucking shithole. *crowd boos* No, I'm not just talking about this pitiful building with the garbage in the bag. *crowd boos even more* I mean this entire business. It's a fucking shithole but here I am back where I belong. Smack dab in the center of the universe about to get my hands back on something that has been mine since the day I stepped foot in the OOWF. The OOWF for you morons in the audience is the wrestling company with slightly better talent than is wrestling here tonight. Myself, excluded of course. *crowd looking like they want to storm the ring.*

Now, where was I...that's right. Center of the wrestling world once again. Just two steps away from claiming my rightful place as Champion. And what stands in front of me in one week...just the typical case of the OOWF always trying to hold me down. Two-thirds of the ZeBevKy conglomerate and their peripheral ally, the one and only Mac Flasher. The man who deep down believes that the championship is his because he was the one who brought the trash back from the dump and thinks he can be the leader of this new era.

Mac...you have never, you are not, and you will never be able to live up to the legacies of those who came before you. Yes, you're a 2-time former OOWF World Champion and the men you beat, well, they were two of the best...OF THE BEST this company has had. But they were not THE BEST. You will be in the ring with the BEST one week from now. And no, I don't mean your best friend or your girls best friend. But me. Alexander Darling. You have not and you will not defeat me. You will try. The fans will cheer, but at the end of the day there is a ceiling and I am standing above where you are trying to break through.

As to the others in this match, Zed's a former World Champion as well but what he is not is Alexander Darling. He's tried to be but he's nothing more than a pale imitation who has only reached his highs because he listens to a fucking talking brick. A Brick. This is the shit I am being an ungodly amount of money to deal with. A former World Champion who talks to inanimate objects. Junichiro made the right call to give me the amount of money I asked him in order to ensure his company doesn't go down in history as a joke. In the ring, Zed was pretty good...I'll give him that. But over the last 3 years, I am the one who kept in shape. I am the one who never quit. I am the one who wrestled around the world. Zed wrestled with joysticks. That will be the difference in one week.

And Kylie...I'll be honest. I don't know much about you because you have never been on my radar before now. And being on my radar is a bad thing. I will know your weaknesses. I will know what makes you function. And I will exploit each and every one of them when we get into that ring with one another. I will make you famous like I have done for so many other over the years. But it won't be how you desire. It won't be with THE championship around your waist.

That is MINE. By legacy. By birthright. And by god given talent.

Alexander Darling.

King of the World.

OOWF World Champion.

And well, none of the rest of you are.

*Fade*

[L!zz~]

(We fade into Bev walking alone. She spies the INC and sighs.)

"I know. I've been quiet. I hear my name often but don't respond and people are wondering why. " She shrugged. "I'm processing it all. Learning how people have changed. Oh sure, I've kept tabs on everyone. We all know this. It isn't a secret but seeing it first hand is different than reading it on paper or seeing it in a video or listening to second hand accounts. Everyone here has changed. Including me. Everyone is so focused on Jack and Alexander. Understandable. I am too. They are two of the most dangerous in the game. I'm watching. Learning. Re evaluating. But don't let my quietness fool anyone. I can get the job done in the ring. I went out as Champion and make no doubt about it, I will be the first champion of this renewal. See you all in the ring."

(Bev continued on her way, the camera kept following her but faded away to commercial)

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to the OOWF Arena in Asheville, North Carolina where the MidWeek Mayhem house show is taking place. Between matches "Scarecrow" plays and the crowd goes nuts>

Russ: That's Jack Quinn's music!
Razz: WHAT IS JACK QUINN DOING IN THE OOWF ARENA RUSS?
Russ: Well......I think, technically, they live here. The better question is, what are WE doing here? Aren't we both AEW employees?
Razz: Nah Russ, you're thinking of Ross and Tazz!

<Jack gets to the ring and steps between the ropes. The crowd is chanting JACK! JACK! JACK! Jack takes a moment to process this as he walks around the ropes.>

In the fifteen years that I have been in the OOWF, I have learned one indisputable fact. Everyone has a story. Now, on the surface, that is obvious. Where they're from, what they've done, how they grew up, that is a common story among all of us. But when you look a little deeper, you realize that, while all of us are reading from the same book, we are all writing out own chapter.

<Jack pauses and walks around the ring>

This week is no different. We have Beverly Cambridge. The once and future champion. Fighting to reclaim a title she never lost. Fighting to avoid being a footnote as the last champion before the OOWF went dark. Fighting to reclaim her spot at the top, a spot she never truly lost. A spot she fought and bled and sweated for her, and was taken away from her. Through no fault of her own. Bev seeks what we all seek, redemption. She seeks to redeem herself in the eyes of the fans, in the eyes of those in the back, but most importantly, in her own eyes. She reached the top of the mountain, a climb I know ALL TOO WELL. So Bev, how will you write your story of redemption?

Katie Bardoor. You might ask, what's her story? Katie's story is just beginning. She is taking her first steps onto the biggest stage she has ever seen. This is the first paragraph of her story, and she decides her story, Katie has a clean slate as far as a future goes. Unlike the rest of us, she has not been tainted by this business. So you may ask, what is Katie's redemption story? No one thought she could do this. Everyone told her to stay on the farm in Nebraska, but she refused. She left home to chase her dream, and Saturday night is her first steps toward redemption! It is HER chance to redeem herself in the eyes of those who doubted her.

<Jack pauses for a long moment, and the crowd is silent, knowing the next name that will come from his lips>

Alexis Darling. <another long pause> I could spend the next week going over our past. But our past is irrelevant today, isn't it Alexis? Sure......I know you will always hate me, and that is something I have to accept. But this week, Alexis, whether you want to recognize it or not, you are beginning your story. See, for the first time in your life, you are doing this on your own. Now, I know as well as anyone on this planet that you are absolutely CAPABLE of doing this on your own...........but I am not the one that needs convincing, am I? Alexis Darling, you begin your redemption story this week. This week is your chance to prove to yourself that you don't NEED anyone else. All that time, it was because you WANTED them there.

That leaves just one person

<the crowd starts another JACK! JACK! JACK! chant and Jack actually seems to soak it in>

My story to this point has been written in blood and violence. I am responsible for endless amounts of suffering and misery. That is a cool thing to put on a t-shirt, it is an easy thing to ignore when you are in the non-stop insanity of the OOWF 365 days a year for years and years on end. It's an easy thing to ignore when you are the inmates running the asylum.

But when it all stopped. When the chaos ended. When the noise stopped. When the fans stopped coming. When there were no more opponents screams of agony to drown out that voice in my head, that voice that was HORRIFIED by the things I'd done, when there was silence...........I wept

<the crowd is once again silent>

I sat there, and the silence was overwhelming. I was lost. I had nothing but endless amounts of time alone with my thoughts. And I am not gonna lie.........I am being as brutally honest here as I can......there were some very dark thoughts. I went down some very, very dark roads. I thought of Spin. I thought of Chloe and Edra. All people I hurt in one way or another. All people who couldn't.........who were led to their demise party at my hands. I know I didn't DO it, but I feuded with Spin. I feuded with Chloe and Edra. My hate tainted them, hurt them in a real way I had never thought of before.

I had no idea what to do. I realized, not only was I not happy, but that I didn't even remember, hell I wasn't even sure I knew what happiness WAS. I didn't know if it was something I had forgotten how to feel, or something that I had never really known. As I sat there, tears running down my cheeks, staring at the Canadian sunrise, I just kept repeating "I don't want to be angry" I didn't even realize I was saying it, I just realized I was repeating it, and once I realized it, I started listening to it, then I started believing it, then......I accepted it. Instantly, I felt all the anger, all the hate, all the violent desires, I felt it all melt away. I really didn't want to be angry anymore, and now I realize only I can decide that.

So as weeks turn to months, months turn to years, I leave it all behind. I didn't take bookings, we settled about an hour from here. I lost weight, slowed down on the self-destructive habits and worked on getting my mind and body right - shout out to DDP - I had turned a corner that I never thought possible. I had found peace, and in that peace, I finally found happiness.

<the crowd pops for this>

But there was always something dark just out of sight. There was something heavy that always lurked over me. The specter of Moosehead Jack <the crowd boos>. It was easy to keep him away when I was away from wrestling, I mean, no need for that when you go to the grocery store. But it was always something that felt.......incomplete. When I got the call that the OOWF was coming back I knew I had to make the hardest decision in my life. I could stay home, leave Moose lurking, but stay happy, stay living in that peace. Or........I could come back here and prove I don't need HIM. Prove that I can do this ON MY OWN! Prove that I can do this as JACK GODDAMN QUINN!

<huge pop>

So this week I start the final chapter in my redemption story. Win or lose, these will be the first words in this chapter "Jack Quinn FOUGHT!" Not MOOSEHEAD JACK! Moose. Is. Dead.

My redemption starts Saturday. You see, I've been where the rest of you are. Bev, I've been the champ before. I've had it taken from me and I had to climb that mountain again. Katie, I've been that rookie just starting, I remember the first night I wrestled in Japan, scared to death. And Lexie......well, our stories have been and always will be insuperably linked, and this is no different. We both start this journey without the person that has been by our sides our entire lives, where our stories differ may be in how we handle our loss.

Moosehead Jack is dead. Standing before you is Jack Quinn, and I will not stop until my story of redemption is complete.

Trust me.

<Jack drops the mic and heads to the back as the crowd pops big>

[Sportsguy]

(OOC: My apologies for taking so long to respond Dev.)

We fade in and see Lindsay McAllister sitting and looking deep in thought when her lovely wife Jennifer comes up to her.

Jennifer: Can I ask what's on your mind babe? I'm all for giving you your space but you have been distant ever since you go that phone call.

Lindsay sighs.

Lindsay: I'm sorry.

Jennifer: No reason to be sorry. Just want to get a sense where your head is at.

Lindsay: Do you remember the night we met?

Jennifer: I mean, of course I do. I'm not sure what that has to do with this conversation though.

Lindsay: Did you ever wonder why I was so drunk that night?

Jennifer: You told me you'd just had a bad break up.... Oh.

Lindsay nods.

Lindsay: Alexis approached me for the first time a week after I joined the company. At first, I think even she'd admit she was doing it mostly to mess with my sister and my brother in law. But after a month she'd recruited me into Royalty and.... sparks flew. Even after Royalty eventually imploded and even after I left the company, she and I were still seeing one another. And while I don't think it ever got even remotely close to (Holding up wedding ring) this level we were far from a casual thing. I wasn't seeing anyone else, neither was she, and we were happy. So after the OOWF ended and she called me and asked if I'd come and join her and Alex for a tour in Australia, I couldn't have said yes fast enough.

Jennifer: Then what happened?

Lindsay: At first things were great. I'd had time to rehab my injuries, I was in the best shape I'd been in my career and we were kicking fucking ASS in the ring.

Jennifer (Smiles): Wish I could have seen that.

Lindsay: You would have been amazed how good I looked in there. And outside the ring it was just like old times. But then- almost out of nowhere- Alexander changed.

Jennifer: Changed how?

Lindsay: It seemed like every day his mood got darker and darker. Eventually he gave Alexis a choice: Him or me. By that point there was only a week left on our tour. And I swear if Alexis had just come to me and said something like "Look, he's my brother. I can't turn my back on him. Let's just finish the tour and then afterwards, you and I take a little break." I would have completely understood. But that's not what she did. Instead they both told me that they had the promoter change every match to a tag team match, asked me to leave immediately and then Alexis told me that not just the tour was over but so was our relationship.

Jennifer: Just like that?

Lindsay: Just like that. Later that night I went to a local bar, had a bunch of drinks and then an absolutely gorgeous woman sat down next to me. I think you know the story from there. Can I tell you something I've never told anyone?

Jennifer: Of course.

Lindsay: I told you, and I told Matt and Jaime, that I invited Alexander and Alexis to our wedding for some kind of closure. But to be honest it wasn't that. I invited them so I could rub it in their faces how happy I was and how I'd moved on. And that was the last I'd seen or even heard from either of them til Alexis just called me.

Jennifer: Okay.... now time for me to ask you something. Do you still have romantic feelings for her?

Lindsay: WHAT?? Of course not.

Jennifer: I believe you, but I had to ask. So this is what I think we should do. I think we should fly to Asheville together, then you have lunch with Alexis and hear what she has to say.

Lindsay: Seriously?!

Jennifer: Believe me, from what you've said about her I'm not a particularly big fan of hers. But by meeting her face to face it gives you both a chance to actually get closure. Which I think you both need.

Lindsay: And if she asks me to team with her again?

Jennifer: That's completely up to you. But you're still young, we own a chain of successful gyms so we have enough money to do whatever the fuck we want and it would give you a chance to end your career on your terms. Plus, I'l be honest, might be kind of hot to see you in action. (winks)

Lindsay: I'll think about it.

Jennifer leans in and kisses her wife on the forehead.

Jennifer: I'm going to go pick up dinner. Be back in a few minutes.

Jennifer leaves and Lindsay sighs as she picks up her cell phone and hits a contact.

Lindsay: Alexis? Look, no promises, but I'll meet you Saturday morning at Ric's for breakfast to hear you out. JUST you.

FADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find BRIDGET O’MALLEY and JOSIE in an instruction room at the ZeBevKy Compound. BRIDGET has a PlayStation 5 controller in her hand while JOSIE is scribbling down notes*

BRIDGET: “So it is my theory that MLB The Show 23 took some big steps forward on this generation of consoles, but still left a lot on the table; especially for what the PS5 hardware is capable of doing.”

*as BRIDGET concludes, ZED pokes his head in the room*

ZED: “Wait. Video games during instruction? There is no way that the Beverly Cambridge I know approved this.”

BO’M: “Zed, I will have you know that Beverly actually approached me with this idea.”

Z: “Wait. What? Bev authorized this?”

BO’M: “Yeah. She wanted me to teach Josie about game theory. Right, Josie?”

JOSIE *ruffling through her notebook*: “Yeah. Yesterday I learned that while emulating various Nintendo games from past generations of consoles isn’t morally correct, it’s a necessary evil when Nintendo is extremely selective in what retro titles it makes available in its eShop for the Switch and that Nintendo should just localize Mother 3 on the Gameboy Advance already so Bridget can give them her money.”

Z *stifling a chuckle*: “That’s … That’s not game theory. Wow.”

BO’M: “Well, Mr. Zed. I don’t see you up here with Beverly’s blessing.”

Z: “True. I’d at least know that game theory is a mathematic study of strategic interaction among rational agents.”

BO’M *looking slightly confused*: “OK. Explain it like Josie is 5.”

Z: “It’s basically math that explains how people or computer players should behave when there are clearly-defined outcomes. Basically the math helps to explain how you can get to the best possible result by exploring all potential moves and options.”

*BRIDGET coyly closes her notebook on her pen*

BO’M: “Oh yeah. That was going to be Monday’s lesson. Just had to ease her in.”

Z: “Sure it was. So, where’d you get the PS5? Did you rob Mac’s apartment?”

BO’M: “Best Buy. Might have been on the compound’s credit card.”

Z: “Also. A baseball game?”

BO’M: “When you spend a lot of time in your past with someone who’d put hundreds of hours into that year’s MLB The Show title, you start to enjoy the game by proxy.”

Z: “I see.”

*BRIDGET thumbs her way through the Stadium Creator option*

BO’M: “Plus I found a user-created stadium of the old ball yard from back home. The number of games that Mac and I would go to as kids.”

*BRIDGET shows ZED a user-created version of Point Stadium, in Johnstown, Pa., though this particular user created the stadium in its pre-renovation form as JOSIE loses interest and joins JEFF MANGYUNIKU in the adjacent training room*

Z: “Wait. How short is that porch in left? I could probably hit a Wiffle ball to that wall.”

BO’M: “It’s 290 down the line, now, but 262 in its first iteration. Hence the elevated wall and big screen on top. If you’re hitting a home run in this park, it’s to left or left-center because straightaway center and the right-center power alleys are just impossibly deep unless you’re using a metal bat and a tennis ball. It’s also 290 down the line in right, because this stadium was just wedged into the city when it was built and constructed at the time to primarily be a football field, but it was 252 to the pole before they tore it down and rebuilt it.”

Z: “How do you know all of this?”

BO’M: “Again, spending a lot of time with Mac. You just pick stuff up.”

Z: “So ummm, I’m probably going to regret this, but I think this is the first time in forever that you mentioned Mac multiple times without immediately cursing his name.”

BO’M: “Oh … I … Well, my PSN username is f_ckmacflasher, so I still kind of did.”

Z: “Oh. I guess so. Well, got a second controller?”

BO’M: “Not yet. Didn’t need Beverly coming down on me too hard when she saw that Best Buy charge.”

Z: “That’s a shame because I was ready to do something completely demoralizing to you like hit for the cycle with Ronald Acuna Jr. or something.”

BO’M: “Maybe some other time.”

Z: “Fair enough.”

*ZED departs while BRIDGET digests ZED’s earlier comments concerning her mentioning MAC FLASHER as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER sitting ringside inside a darkened and empty OOWF Arena watching video footage on the OOWFTron. The INC zips around to show MAC’s face illuminated only by the video footage on the giant screen*

MAC: “Why are we here? Why did we return? What is truly at stake on Saturday Slam? For eight individuals who were fortunate enough to win on April 8, a chance to show who is the best in this business. Between the eight of us, there are 14 World Championship reigns in this company. Of those who have not reached these heights, they will most certainly add more.

“Alex. Your comments earlier this week did not go unnoticed. You claim that this title is your birthright. That through your god-given talent, you will make that climb once more. You emphasized that you were THE BEST. Alex. Your best hasn’t shown for years. Sure, you’ve held the championship five times. The last time you claimed it was September 30, 2015. You lost it not even three months later. Since then, you’ve shown that you have gifts and talents that put you near the top of this company’s who’s who, but to claim that you are THE BEST is farcical. You’ll be in the ring on Saturday with two former champions, who have combined for three reigns SINCE you last held that gold.

“Your legacy since then has seen more departures and returns than an airport. As much as you want to crow that this title is your birthright, no evidence from the time that I joined this roster supports that claim. While the sun hasn’t set on your career, your title history doesn’t even have true 4K video footage, just that nonsensical 2880p stuff that some television makers claimed to be 4K, but I digress.

“You told the the world that you are above the ceiling that I’m trying to break through. You discounted the talents of Zed and Kylie Mignolio, who in any other company would be long-reigning champions. Two wrestlers who in this company will hold any gold they choose in due time. Their time isn’t quite now. Your time has passed.

“Alex, on Saturday, in front of the world, your world-title aspirations will end in a Flash Drive. The so-called king of the world will merely be an also-ran looking at the lights.

“Alex, for years you have led. It’s now time to get out of the way.”

*the INC zips arounds MAC’s head as the video footage shows the finish to his first OOWF World Championship victory over STANK on Feb. 28, 2018, as the scene fades*