[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – June 3, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• OOWF World Heavyweight Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Mangyuniku (c) vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville

• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. The Electric Company

• The Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro vs. Shoken Dojo (Jack Quinn, PORK and Katie Bardoor)

• Zed vs. Sean Franklin

• Mac Flasher and The Frenemies vs. Nuke, Annie and Alexander Darling

• “King” Pete Quick vs. Justin Sane

Card subject to The Woodsmen locating another Jack Quinn

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find FIREWOMAN in her office as ADAM JENNINGS barges in with a copy of the June 3 Saturday Slam card in his hand. No sooner than when FIREWOMAN looks up, ADAM slams the card on FIREWOMAN’s desk, jostling the effects and items on her desk ever so slightly*

ADAM: “I want to know where you get off doing this.”

FIREWOMAN: “I get off just fine, thank you. But I’ll ask for the sake of humoring you: Doing what, exactly?”

AJ: “Annie is listed on this card as a wrestler, when she’s contracted only to be a manager.”

F: “Well, not according to what we have on file.”

AJ: “What do you mean by that?”

F *while pressing a button on her desk phone*: “Sizzlechest. Could you be a peach and bring me the folder for Miss Annie?”

*SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX enters the office with a manilla folder, labeled “ANNIE” in large red text, ADAM grabs it from SHIZURU-MUNE and starts ruffling through the documents*

AJ: “I knew it! She checked the ‘manage-only’ box in the black pen that I gave her and someone checked off the ‘part-time wrestler’ box in red. Any OOWF contract that Annie is under is null because of this tampering. Which one of your underlings did this?” *ADAM points at SHIZURU-MUNE* “Was it this clown who couldn’t hack it as a wrestler, so he became an office lackey? Was it Lackey? I mean Lucky?”

F: “For starters, her contract could be null for reasons beyond this so-called tampering that have nothing to do with this office. You see, Adam. Miss Annie has repeatedly violated the provision in her managerial contract that states that she cannot insert herself in matches that those under her management are not involved in. Multiple times, be it on Saturday Slam or during a house show, she has meddled in matches involving Mac Flasher and Bridget O’Malley, usually to serve as a distraction so that Nuke can start some kind of attack. The disruptive nature of those two has resulted in multiple advertised matches not being contested as advertised.”

AJ: “Whatever. You need to find out who tampered with this document to put Annie in a match that she is not trained to compete in. There are two people, who if they could work together for one second, will try to rip her head off in two weeks. That blood will be on this company’s hands and I will …”

*FIREWOMAN hushes ADAM, smiles and reaches into a desk drawer and slides a monogrammed red pen and a well of ink across her desk, clearly in the view of ADAM*

F: “You will do nothing, as you have done since your first appearance in my office. For starters, I altered that document because I have the executive authority to do so. If Annie wants to act like a wrestler, then we make her one. Second, this pen that I used to add that check uses a special ink infused with the blood of Junichiro Muyo. Blood that I personally drew from him during our respective careers as wrestlers, and there are sparkles in the ink because they sparkle with me. As you are aware, we have since worked out our differences. So as long as Juni keeps me in charge, blood on our hands is a specialty and I’d be glad to demonstrate further.”

*FIREWOMAN uncaps the fountain pen to reveal an incredibly sharp point, pricking her fingertip, all while smiling at ADAM*

F: “Am I clear? Does this sparkle with you?”

*ADAM, having lost his earlier bravado, stammers*

F *using a tissue to dab the droplet from her finger while LUCKY hands her a biohazard baggie*: “You’ll be banned from the building on June 3 and we’ll be seeing Annie in the ring in two weeks. If she ducks out, she and Nuke are both terminated. Does that sparkle with you?”

*ADAM looks around with a nervous expression*

F: “Your eyes are telling me, ‘Yes, Firewoman,” and your sweaty armpits are telling me that you have to leave, so toodles. Sizzlechest, be a peach again and help Mr. Jennings to somewhere that isn't here.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE gladly escorts ADAM from the office while FIREWOMAN reapplies the cap the monogrammed pen as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<as Jennings leaves Jack walks in, looking rather annoyed. Before Fire even says anything, Lucky pulls a Radar and walks into the room with a folder. Jack walks to the bar and pours himself a drink and stares out the window for a moment>

FW: well? Get on with it

J: with what?

FW: the ranting and raving about not getting the match against Quick.

J: I just want to know why

FW: because you spit on him

J: <turning and glaring at him> excuse me? You're punishing me for THAT?

FW: no, I and not.....Lucky, explain

L: yes, well, while spitting on your opponent is a common, if not disgusting, act here, by law it can also be considered assault.

J: that is fucking ridiculous!

L: it is, however, the paperwork is not. Quick has filed a restraining order against you pending litigation of this matter.

J: ok whatever, so a couple days, the judge hears it, decides its nonsense and I get to face him in the ring

L: ehhh, Quick's legal team is impressive, if he wants, they can tie this up for a long time, if they go the trump route, they could tie this up for months

J: I know Quick doesn't have the money for this.....

L: no, he doesn't. He is a compulsive gambler and has debts out all over the place, however after doing some digging.....he has some VERY powerful backers.

J: who?

L: I couldn't pin anyone down specifically, but the money is coming from somewhere, and at least some of it is coming from people who REALLY don't like you.

<Jack drains his drink and walks around for a moment>

FW: I can ban him from the building for your match.....

J: no. Let him interfere

L: If you touch him you will be in violation of the restraining order....

J: don't worry....I won't touch him

<Jack turns and walks out of the room and we fade>

[L!zz~]

(Beverly, Kylie and Josie are seen appearing rather randomly in a hall. Almost as if a glitch in the image occurred. Josie quickly ran off in search of Zed as she had some news to share..)

The INC came come close to the sisters and seemed to look at them inquiring like....

Kylie looked at the camera. "Yes. We've been quiet. We had some personal things to tend too. Old friends who needed our help."

Bev nodded "We also needed some counsel and insight from them. They know some of the people here better than we ever will. But we're back. Focused and going to take some home championships. We will have more to say. We promise. Our fans are amazing and have supported us. We thank you for your patience with us. But we're fully back and focused."

Kylie nodded "but if you'll excuse us right now, we have to see a few people"

(The INC let them pass and the sisters walked off after Josie)

[DevSop]

*OOWF Arena*

A house show is taking place as the clearly over the hill Draculs are about to take the loss against The Electric Company. As the fans cheer the new blood of Joe & Jamie, the lights in the arena go out and fans are wondering why when Imagine Dragons feat. Coldplay & Sia "Radioactive Viva La Vida Titanium Remix" begins to play and the crowd goes ballistic as a pure white spotlight illuminates the entrance the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, Alexis Darling is standing there. Lexie takes in the applause for a moment before sauntering down the aisle and sliding under the bottom rope. She eyes The Electric Company for a second before nodding and climbing a turnbuckle and doing a Finn Balor esque pose. As the lights come back on and the crowd quiets down slightly, Alexis turns around and takes a seat on the turnbuckle.

Lexie: First of all, thank you for that response. I know I've been missing in action since winning this precious piece of metal around my waist but life is funny that way. Less than 3 months ago, I was living in my sister's beachhouse and just getting my life back together. I had thought I had move beyond this business...not because I didn't love but because I thought it didn't love me back. My time here in the OOWF prior to the re-launch was absolutely a roller coaster of love and hate but it was never mine alone. And I was one thousand percent okay with that because even with everything that's happened over the last few years, I love my brother. And I can say that now without hurting because I've come to realize that I, Alexis Darling, can actually do this on my own. I'd have preferred not to, but a month ago, I climbed to the top of a mountain that has always been the pinnacle of this business.

But when I won, it wasn't reality just yet so I stayed hidden. I stayed in the shadows. I tried to do what it is I do and plan the next five steps ahead but these last few months, the last two years...I haven't been able to plan like I used to. Like I'd like to. And I'm becoming okay with that. There's a saying in the world that you aren't truly a champion until you defend the title and I did that a few days ago. Beverly Cambridge is a star and someone you always need to be prepared for and I was. Just like I will be next week as well.

And defeating her in the place I call home, that was special. Because not only did it mean I was back at the top of my game quicker than I could have imagined, but it meant that I am truly deserving of being the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. I earned this, in this ring, first by defeating the person I truly consider the best of all time, but then by defending it against another true superstar in this business. I, Alexis Darling, am now and forever, an OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. And it feels fucking good. So good in fact that I don't want it to end.

However, I know that's not how this business works. There will come a day, maybe soon...hopefully later, that someone will have my number. That someone will have the gameplan to defeat me. That something will happen and I will stare up at the lights and lose this championship. But that day wasn't last week. And for that, I can sit here and take this in as it was meant to be.

So, once again...thank you OOWF for welcoming me back and hopefully I can live up to the legacy of those before me and create a worthy reign for those that follow. For now, I am Alexis Fucking Darling...I am the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, and well, the rest of you...just aren't.

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut to Jack Quinn's office in the Shokan Dojo. Jack is sitting in the darkened room, lit only by the glow of the television. Next to Jack we see a half empty bottle, with another lying on it's side on the floor. We cannot see what Jack is watching. Kali walks in and Jack doesn't even seem to notice>

K: Jack......you've been in here for two days.....what is going on?

J: Nothing

K: You're lying

J: I'm fine....it doesn't matter. I'm good. It's all good.

K: <opening the curtains letting sunlight in and smirking as Jack winces> You're going to tell me. Do we need to go through all of this?

J: Just stuff on my mind, that's all.

K: Stuff like.....<Kali stops and notices the things spread out on Jack's desk> What's all this?

J: Came in the mail. Again.

K: Again? What do you mean again? And what is this?

<Jack nods toward a table that has a pile of stuff on it, Kali goes over and looks at several pictures and picks up a bootlegged DVD>

K: "The Worst of Moosehead Jack"? Jack, these are all pictures of......

J: Of me being a sadistic lunatic, yes.

K: Where did he get the pics from?

J: No idea. Might sign one and give it to Fire though, seems like something she would appreciate

K: <finally noticing what is on the television> and the DVD's?

J: Oh yeah, all the greatest hits. Over and over and over again.

K: Why are you watching this?

J: Cause I don't remember it

K: What do you mean?

J: Kali, I watch a lot of these matches, and it's like it's not me. Like I am watching some character.

K: Jack......that's what it is supposed to be....

J: but this person, this is me doing these things.....

K: ......as Moosehead Jack. Why are you even.......who is sending.......Quick. Of course.

J: Oh yeah. Good old mindgames. From what I'm seeing, Moose was quite good at those. Maybe I should take notes....

K: <sighing> I suppose this means you haven't seen Quick's promo from earlier?

J: I have not

<Kali turns off the DVD and switches to OOWFtv and selects Quick's promo>

<we cut to King Quick sitting behind a desk with Angie Delpetro standing behind him with the Royal Guard behind him>

Jack Quinn, you know, it's a real shame about you. You know, you had this whole heroic fantasy about dying inside the ring, killed by some punk kid in a gym in the middle of nowhere. That was your way of being carried out on your shield, right? But that didn't happen. You bailed when you were faced with the very scenario you had for so long fantasized. You got scared. And you ran.

Then the OOWF comes back, led by the last generation. Zed, Flasher, Bev all of them, joining with new recruits to lead the OOWF into the next century, hell, even Alexis Darling, even though she was around longer, she has come out of the long, dark shadow cast by her brother to finally fly on her own. It was time for a new OOWF, the old timers had their moment in the war with AEW, then one by one, they all went home. Firewoman took a position in management. Alex is here, but clearly going through the motions, and yet, here you are. Not even Moosehead Jack. Just plain ol boring Jack Quinn, the man no one cares about unless it's rehashing the past, and you know it. And Alex knows it. That is why both of you want nothing to do with one another. But when you were confronted with your past, when you "found out" that you were in the ring with Alex, you got scared. And you ran.

Jack Quinn, you have become all you claim to hate. You have become a pathetic has been, hanging on well past their expiration date. And you know it. This whole good guy Jack Quinn bit? No one believes you. Not even your sister. But you know what Jackie? I believe you. I do, I really do! I believe that you have changed Mr. Quinn, you are no longer that sadistic bastard that would slice people open. You are no longer that deranged madman that would break bones and cause mayhem and revel in the bloodshed! No sir! You, Jack Quinn, are a paragon of virtue! Your word might as well be etched in stone. And I see you Jackie, I see how your past repulses you. I see how much you hate Moosehead Jack. I see how much you hate what he made you do.........and I know you would NEVER want to go down that path.

So this week Jack, why don't we make things interesting? I believe you are a changed man! I do! And what better way to prove that than to make your match against Angie and the Guard a no disqualification match? I mean, yes, weapons of all manner may get involved, but Jack.......you're a changed man, right? You have no need for such barbarism, that was what Moose would do! So, let me see you rise above the fray Jackie! We've already accepted. Our lovely GM just awaits your reply.

<the promo ends and the room is silent for a long moment>

K: Jack, you don't have to

J: I let Katie and PORK down when I wasn't there to help them last week. Tell Fire we accept.

<Jack gets to his feet and drains his drink and we fade>

[Jack Quinn]

<we cut once again to Jack's office, this time we see him busy with paperwork. Kali comes in and sets a drink in front of him and takes a seat in the chair opposite the desk>

K: Jack Quinn......businessman

J: <sitting back, grinning and taking a drink> idle hands and all that

<They fall into silence for a moment while Kali looks around the office>

K: Interesting

J: What?

K: Fire's office has memorabilia everywhere, there's almost no space uncovered, while you have just that one picture

J: <taking a look at the pic and smiling> Me and Fire winning the tag titles. Clan Quinn

K: Why? Why just that one? Why not a world title win?

J: Cause THAT was the whole reason for all of this. And even THAT took me beating Fire to get her to team with me. All I wanted from the moment that I found out Fire had followed me into wrestling was for us to be the tag team champions

K: And it didn't last very long

J: No. Like everything else.......

<another long pause>

K: Jackie.......I need to ask you something, and even though there are INC's around, I need you to be honest with me........are you happy?

J: No

K: Then why? We could go home and leave all this and be happy again.

J: <draining his drink and pouring another> At this point? I don't know. I don't know why I don't just sell the rights to Moose to Quick and walk away. No one believes me. No one gives a damn. I said I want to win the title, but to what end? Right now Alexis holds the title, and while it would be AMAZING to be able to wrestle her or Alex in just a straight up match where we are not trying to murder one another, they are not there. And they may never BE there. And until they are........I will never have closure.

K: Why do you need them to validate your closure?

J: Because Moose has wronged them the most. Moose literally tried to break Alexis' neck, and he was disappointed when it didn't end her career. He did everything he possibly could to end Alex's career. Why would they ever forgive him? But until they do? He will never leave.

<Kali gets up and walks around the room for a moment, sipping her drink>

K: And what happens if Alexis doesn't lose the world title before April 1?

J: I guess I retire without winning it

K: And how do you feel about that?

J: It would mean HE wins

K: How?

J: Because without HIM I am not good enough

K: How is that reasonable when Alexis won't give you the chance to face her?

J: She doesn't want to rehash the past

K: The past is Moosehead Jack facing Alexis Darling. This is Jack Quinn facing Alexis Darling

J: Like everyone else, she doesn't believe me.

K: So, if she doesn't lose, you are ok with walking away?

J: I see no other option. I am proud of what I am doing. Katie and PORK are the future of this company. They aren't ready for Alexis......yet, but they could both give Jeff all that he can handle, and as a team, they could win the titles tomorrow.

<Kali walks around some more, ignoring Jack's attempt at changing the subject>

J: There is something else on your mind

K: Stop running

J: What?

K: Stop running.

J: I'm not

K: You are. I have watched this for three months. You sit here and blame others for not believing you. PROVE it. I know concussions got in the way for a bit, and you were not always in your right mind......

J: Wasn't I?

K: DO NOT CUT A PROMO ON ME JACK QUINN! Now you listen to me <Kali gets in Jack's face> I have sat back and watched you, I have tried to be there as you deal with a new world, and I tried to give you your space. I contacted Dr. Sid when I thought you needed an outside voice, but Jack.........I am done with this. Pete Quick is making you look like a goddamn fool. PORK and Katie got jumped. You are afraid to get in the ring with Alex and Alexis. I AM TIRED OF THIS! Either you get your shit in order, and face these people as Jack Goddamn Quinn.......or walk the fuck away.

<Jack stares at her incredulously>

K: If you need Him to do this........you have no business being here.

<Kali finishes her drink, slams it on the desk, and walks away ass we fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER at his usual booth at OOWF Bladejob Deli, waiting on his customary turkey, cheddar and bacon on toasted wheat when BRIDGET O’MALLEY enters and sits across from MAC, who resists the urge to greet BRIDGET with sarcasm, showing that he’s maturing and stuff*

BRIDGET: “So, I guess thank you for the save in Florida, but I’m still not sure that I can trust you beyond the length that I can throw you.”

MAC: “I was just returning the favor and doing the right thing. It feels like you’ve been targeted by those two as well.”

BO’M: “And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. It just feels really convenient that I now have the same bullseye with Nuke and Annie that you’ve had since they showed up. Is this some kind of set-up where you just take a few beatings for appearance, but you’re secretly masterminding this whole thing just to stab me in the back again?”

MF: “Wow … That’s a theory. I wish I was as smart or as evil as that scenario makes me seem, but I guess Nuke and Annie want to share their hatred with others and chose you.”

BO’M: “So … This is not your doing?”

MF: “Look, I did a fucked-up thing in Johnstown almost four years ago. That was me in the past. My worry is Saturday. We have two wrestlers who are very good at what they do in Nuke and Alexander Darling and a manager who is probably more dangerous than some OOWF wrestlers if you take your eye off of her. We’re teamed together along with Kylie. This is what the business does. We’ll make the best of things on Saturday. We’ll be the better team and you can go back to hating me at whatever level you’re at.”

BO’M: “You see, that’s the thing … I don’t hate you. Never truly did. I thought I did because it helped explain why you did what you did without me having to accept that I pushed you to that point. Right now, I just cannot trust you because I can’t allow you to hurt me again and I’m not sure that you can ever get that trust back. Let’s just agree to not be our worst enemies on Saturday.”

*BRIDGET extends her hand to MAC, who accepts the handshake*

MF: “Deal. Nuke is plenty to handle as an enemy, I don't want or need any more at the moment. We’ll be fine as long as we stick to my plan.”

BO’M: “Wait. You have a plan? That's not the Mac Flasher I know.”

MF: “It’s a rough draft that’s in my head, but it’ll be fleshed out by Saturday.”

BO’M: “Well, that's more the Mac I know. It might be best if you maybe mesh into what Kylie and I have planned.”

MF: “And how much film study with Josie will be needed to get on the same page?”

BO’M: “Just be there on Saturday and trust the process.”

MF: “That’s …” *MAC bites his tongue again because he’s growing as a person, damn it!* “… Fine by me, I suppose.”

BO’M: “Great …” *BRIDGET grabs MAC’s hand and looks him in the eye* “… Thank you.”

*BRIDGET stands up and leaves the cafeteria while MAC sits with an expression showing many different emotions as the scene fades*

[Zed]

The feed cuts to Zed, standing on the entrance ramp of the OOWF Arena in Asheville, North Carolina as the OOWF "road crew" begins setting up the ring and ringside seating areas behind him.

Z: Alright, Sean. You've talked a good game. You've made it abundantly clear you wanted this match. I'm still not entirely sure what I ever did to be the reason you came here, why you want nothing more than to end my career. And I'm not particularly interested in finding out or getting into a war of words with you.

Whatever talking you have left to do ... let's do it tomorrow night. *pointing behind him* Let's do it in that ring. Let's do it in front of the fans that will sit in these seats, and in these bleachers. Hell, if you want to make yourself famous, do something that will make these fans stand up out of those seats.

But believe this. Despite what you may think, I'm not here to pad a retirement fund or push t-shirts or relive the glory days. And there's nothing you can show me tomorrow night that I haven't seen before, a thousand times over, from men and women tougher, much more sadistic than you.

I get it. You're an All-American athlete. But how many times have you faced a man with a crazed look in his eye and a barbed-wire bat in his hand? How many times have you watched someone bleed on the mat? How many times have you sat in a hospital room looking at one of your best friends, asking yourself, 'Is this too much?'

I'm going to venture a guess and say not very many, Sean. That's no discredit to what you've accomplished. It's simply the only warning I have for you ... that you have no earthly idea what you've truly signed up for.

You'll find out, in due time. You'll be here a long time. I was as clueless as you are when I showed up. It's not personal. It's just the way it is.

..........

You got your match, Sean. What are you going to do about it?

FADE.

[Jack Quinn]

<We see Shokan Dojo walking down the hall after a training session. As they get to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository Kali stops and turns to the rest>

K: Let’s stop and have a drink

J: <finishing his flask> delightful idea!

<Jack and Kali walk in, Katie starts toward the door but notices PORK does not follow>

K: What’s up dicknuts?

P: Ehh, I don’t drink, so I really don’t……..

K: Don’t sweat it. <reaching into her bag> here, drink this.

P: Mojo 420……..what is this?

K: Sort of a de-energy drink to help you relax

P: wait………420?

K: It’s herbal

P: Uh huh

K: You’ll be fine, Bing Bong sells it, it’s safe. Trust me.

P: <sighing and cracking it open and taking a long drink> I won’t go schizo, will I?

K: There’s a distinct possibility.

<they walk in and we cut to a commercial for Simon Miller’s Ups and Downs for Saturday Night Slam brought to you by WhatCultureWrestling, and an ad for The Rise and Fall of Shashwat Mishra brought to you by Wrestling With Wregret.>

<we then cut to a different room, one we haven’t seen before. The cameraman steps outside the room and closes the door and we see the sign says “Lair of Evil Intentions” He walks back in and we see the heels all gathered looking rather bored>

Nuke: I’m just SAYING the name kind of gives away our plans, doesn’t it?

Quick: Well what should we call it? The Lair of Happy Intentions? Who would take THAT seriously?

Delpetro: We need a more neutral sounding name.

Franklin: Like the Waste Management Department

Delpetro: What is that supposed to mean?

Nuke: I’m just saying……it doesn’t have to be so OBVIOUS!

Brynn: It should be something that sounds cute, but it totally evil…….like…….I dunno……Thugs R’Us

<everyone just stops and looks at her>

Q: Thugs R’Us

B: What? It’s totes cute! We don’t have to ALL be evil!

<The camera pans back to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository where we see two men sitting with the Woodsmen deep in conversation when Ellie May From Elijay walks over with tankards of ale>

Hunter: Good Ellie May, have you met our guests?

EMFE: I have not

Dakota: This is the distinguished explorer Sir Percival Pantaloons and his loyal assistant Ricky Pantalones!

EMFE: <rolling her eyes> it’s a pleasure

Hunter: <raising his tankard> BULLY!

All: BULLY!

<The camera pans back around and we see Ellie May set her tray down and join Katie at the ax throwing center (how did THAT get approved?> Katie gives her axe a heave and hits a bullseye. Ellie grabs an axe and throws it and hits another bullseye, Katie follows that with another of her own>

EMFE: Damn girl! You’re good at this!

K: I used to practice back in Nebraska. I’d make my brothers play William Tell

EMFE: <laughing as she throws> Did they live?

K: <throwing again, another bullseye> Most of ‘em

EMFE: Wait……what?

<Cut again to ads, this time for The Blade Shop Deli – now available with Uber Eats! And an ad for Bing Bong’s Greenery now open in Cherokee, North Carolina!>

<We cut back to the…….Name To Be Determined…….

VOG: HEY! Didn’t we already use that?

JR: Look, I’m trying to think of a name for the Bad Guy’s Palace

VOG: Well, that ain’t it

JR: Do YOU have any ideas?

VOG: I…….do not

JR: I didn’t think so

VOG: Shouldn’t she…….

<Kay bursts in and slams VOG across the back with a chair and stares at John and makes the keyboard fingers motion>
JR: FINE!

<We cut back to the Hall of InJustice>

Delpetro: All I am saying is, as soon as The Guard win the tag titles, you can go after the world title

Quick: Angie…….the world title may have to wait, I want to rid wrestling of Jack Quinn first! And this is how we are going to do it….

Nuke: THEY CAN HEAR US!

Quick: What?

Nuke: <turning on the television and flipping to the Heel Network, we get an image of them looking at one another>

Quick: What is this?

Nuke: This is now

Quick: Now?

Nuke: THIS IS LIVE!

Quick: Of course it is!

Nuke: Do you not see a potential problem with having a lair identified as where we hatch our evil schemes being live all the time?

Quick: Angie, get our lawyers on the phone!

<cut back to the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository where we see Awesome Bill, PORK and Bing Bong sitting at a table, Bing Bong is smoking her finest greenery while there are several empty cans of Mojo 420 on the table>

PORK: Okay…..that means that…our whole solar system...could be, like...one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being. This is too much!

<thinking for a moment>

That means...

one tiny atom in my fingernail could be…..

could be one little...tiny universe.

<Bing Bong chuffs>

PORK: <mind blown> Could l buy some Mojo 420 from you?

<Acrtic McBearington clears his throat and points to a sign……NO MOVIE PARODIES!>

ABFD: What’s more astonishing is the possibility of the multiverse, it’s been postulated that there exists a universe for every possible decision that can possibly be made, in which, there would be a universe where Stephen Hawking was the greatest baseball player ever because of different decisions he made. Though, I am not sure how decisions led to his disease, but I digress……

<Bill stops and looks around, the music has stopped and everyone is staring>

ABFD: Uhh…..I mean, uh damn son that’s outdamnstandener than hell! Hell yeah son! Quantum mechanified phys-ed!

<The Woodsmen cheer and get back to their story>

Sir Percival: Goodness! What happened next!

Hunter: Well, we were making our way toward the arena when this man burst from the brush unannounced!

SPG: GADS!

Dakota: Hunter showed remarkable bravery!

Hunter: Courage is a mark of a TRUE Woodsman!

All: BULLY!

<the camera continues around to a back room where we see Opus, Jack, Justin sitting at a table playing cards. Next to Jack sits a half empty bottle of Trust Me>

Justin: Reverse, wild, green, uno……..out! Oops!

<Justin reaches across the table to pull in his haul (all pretzels) when Jack grabs his hand>

Jack: What is that now? That ten hands in a row, Justin? Son-of-a-bitch, nobody's that lucky.

Justin: Why, Jack Woodsman, whatever do you mean?

Opus: <flapping> take it easy, boys.

JS: Maybe poker's just not your game, Jack. I know, let's have a spelling contest

J: <slowly reaching for his boot> How 'bout if I just cut your scrawny neck?

<just then Arctic bursts in and points at the NO MOVIE PARODIES and Justin and Opus immediately break character and laugh and the live studio audience joins in with them. Jack looks around and a flash of anger crosses his face, he tries to play it off, but finishes his drink quickly and walks through the bar and out the door.

The camera follows Jack as he storms down the hallway, as he passes a production case he spies a baseball bat, Jack grabs it and begins to destroy everything in sight, snarling with rage the whole time. He turns and slams the bat down repeatedly on something off camera, and when he tries to lift the bat again, it slips from his grip. Jack snarls and grabs it and lifts it in the air and we see the bat has been impaled in a small roll of barbed wire. Jack lifts it up and stares at it with crazed eyes, then looks back toward the direction of the Nowhere Bar, Grille & PCPL Repository, Jack takes a step in that direction, then seems to snap to his senses. He looks at the bat in his hand and quickly tosses it aside and stares at it for a moment, before quickly turning and continuing on his way as we fade to black>

[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – June 3, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• “King” Pete Quick vs. Justin Sane
The cold open shows Pete inside the ring with a microphone, embracing some of the garbage getting tossed at him while dodging the larger objects.

Pete: “I’d expect this kind of response in a shit hole like Asheville with no respect for the generous and benevolent ruler that I have been. While you have zero respect for the crown or my plan to rid the OOWF of has-been hacks like Jackie Quinn, I will continue fighting for the virtue that this company will never see as long as the Moosehead Jack that we all know is still very alive is cosplaying as wrestling’s answer to Bob Ross and Fred Rogers. Alas, my fight tonight isn’t against a has-been, instead it’s against a never-was. Justin Sane, whatever makes you think that you can even shine my royal boots, let alone compete with royalty is the greatest lie that you were ever told. But I’ll humor you. This championship that I hold as the first champion crowned in OOWF after the reboot can be yours in the impossible circumstance that you can defeat me in this ring. As the regal authority in OOWF, I will grant you a shot at this DDT Iron Crown Heavy Metal Championship. All you have to do is get in this ring and show that you can beat me.”

Pete tosses the microphone to ring announcer Mike Elevenbee as “Insane in the Brain” plays, but there’s no Justin. The song loops to the beginning and still there’s no sign of Justin until the OOWFTron cuts to a view of a bloodied Justin just outside of the curtain, curled in the fetal position in front of a disheveled stack of pallets and a broken baseball bat, while coughing up blood as OOWF Medical and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville appear on site to help as Pete takes the microphone away from Elevenbee.

Pete: “Jackie. Could you have made this any more obvious? The pallets? The sneak attack just as a wrestler was about to make an entrance? There is only one person in this building who is capable of attacking someone so innocent and so pure like Justin Sane in cold blood, and it’s you Jackie. This is how you cope with not getting your way. This is how you cope with a bad night of poker. Violence. You can’t get your hands on me, so you make sure that nobody else could. Typical Moosehead Jack. That’s not how you can make this legally binding document that keeps you far, far away from my royal person, which is on file in your sister’s office, go away. All you did was expose yourself as a fraud to the dwindling few people in this building who actually believed that you had changed. I’ve seen all I need to see.”

•  Mac Flasher and The Frenemies vs. Nuke, Annie and Alexander Darling
“King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander, who is in the now-standard black hoodie with zero gestures beyond a quick glare at a fan who grabs his arm. Alexander rolls into the ring and takes a seat on the top turnbuckle in his team’s corner as “Hate Breeders” draws out Nuke and an apprehensive Annie, the latter set to make her official in-ring debut as a wrestler. As the rookie couple makes their way to ringside, they are met by Adam Jennings, Nuke’s father, who hops over the barricade. Nuke and Annie gesture toward Alexander, who reacts with a very apathetic shrug, before the music cuts out with Josie emerging from the back by herself, but she has a microphone.

Josie: “LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, as the manager of The Frenemies, it is my honor to present to you three people who will work together like peanut butter, jelly and bananas. Like a cheeseburger, fries and Coke. Like Donatello, Leonardo and Michelangelo after Raphael was beaten by the Foot Clan in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, like …”

“Crown on the Ground” plays to interrupt Josie as The Frenemies – Kylie and Bridget – emerge from the back. The duo fistbumps Josie as “I Get Wet” plays out Mac Flasher, who greets The Frenemies with drastic levels of enthusiasm coming back his way. The three walk to the ring and immediately chase Nuke and Annie out all while Alexander indifferently sits atop the turnbuckles. As Angelo Barros checks both teams for foreign objects, Bridget and Mac get into a bit of a tiff over who will start the match with Kylie loudly declaring that she will start for their team. Nuke steps in for his team as Barros calls for the bell. Kylie rolls away from Nuke’s first few attempts to grapple with her, but gets too close to the wrong corner as Annie yanks Kylie down by her hair, giving Nuke enough of an opening to deliver a few stomps and a standing knee drop. Annie eagerly reaches out her hand to tag in, but the tag is intercepted by Alexander as he gestures to Annie that she observe what’s about to happen. Alexander reaches down and gets pulled into a small package that gets 1. That heats up Alexander’s temper as he begins to pummel Kylie with heavy strikes and a hip toss that sends her to her own corner, where Mac and Bridget simultaneously tag Kylie. Alexander picks Mac, as evidenced by a strong right to the jaw, prompting Barros to declare Mac as legal. The two exchange blows with Mac almost getting the better of the battle until a well-placed knee to the gut stems the tide Alexander’s way. Alexander bulls Mac to an unsavory corner as Annie tags herself in to get a few blows in on Mac as he looks around with an incredulous expression before gently picking Annie up and placing her on top of the same turnbuckle that Alexander sat on before Nuke tags himself in.

Russ: “Finally. We’ll see Mac Flasher and Nuke get it on in the ring.”
Razz: “Certainly not like the May 6 edition of Saturday Slam when they got it on in the ring.”
Russ: “This time will be different.”
Razz: “Why? Because it’s June 3?”

Mac motions for Nuke to bring the fight to the center of the ring, but Nuke refuses. As Nuke stands in his corner, Mac steps back to his corner where Bridget tags herself in, drawing Nuke away from his own corner. Nuke walks into a standing knee strike from Bridget and an attempted neck crank until Annie rushes in and jumps on Bridget’s back. With Bridget’s focus on Annie, Nuke clips Bridget’s knee and starts to work as Annie scurries back to her corner. Bridget isn’t in peril long as she kicks Nuke in the face and tags in Kylie, who springboards in with a dropkick to open the door for some slick tandem offense from The Frenemies including a double slingshot suplex that gets 2.5 as Nuke desperately tries to reach his corner. With Kylie flustering Nuke with quick attacks, the rookie slips to the outside to consult Adam, unaware of Kylie’s suicide dive through the ropes that sends both crashing to the barricade. Adam, who took the least damage, stands up and tries to intimidate Kylie, getting a spear from Mac who dropped down and rushed toward the fracas while Bridget yanked Annie down from the apron. Nuke staggers to his feet just as Mac and Bridget whip Adam and Annie toward Nuke’s general direction, causing a three-way collision, all while Alexander can barely be arsed to watch the wreckage.

Mac and Kylie work together to send Nuke back inside the ring while Adam slips an object to Annie, just barely in view of the camera. Annie woozily heads back to her corner while Bridget walks to hers to join Mac as Kylie delivers a handspring elbow to Nuke in the corner and follows with a split-legged moonsault that gets 2.5, only because Annie dashed in at the last second. With Barros chiding Annie, Nuke takes advantage of the distraction and rakes Kylie’s eyes and elbows her on the chin. Nuke confidently strides over to his corner, expecting approval from Alexander, but getting an indifferent tag. Alexander pounds away at Kylie, cutting her team’s half of the ring off as he puts her a clinic of stretches and strikes. Kylie almost gets to her corner after Alexander missed a knee drop, but was waylaid from behind by Nuke just as she noticed the opening. Alexander drags Kylie back to his team’s corner and trades tags with both partners as they wear Kylie down. With Nuke once again the legal partner of his team, a teardrop suplex gets 2 on Kylie. Nuke stomps away, loading up Give ‘Em the Boot with Kylie stood up in a neutral corner. As Nuke charges, Kylie ducks to lead the rookie into crouching himself on the top turnbuckle. Kylie crawls to her corner and leaps to tag in Bridget as she runs in as the proverbial house of fire, hitting spinning backfists on Nuke and Annie and also delivering a running knee to Alexander, who was basically minding his own business in the corner. With Nuke in Bridget’s sights, Annie puts a fanged mouthpiece in her mouth and grins with an evil expression as she stalks Bridget, just as Annie is about to leap up and strike an unsuspecting Bridget, Mac gets his arm between Annie and Bridget, taking the full bite and immediately falling into a state of shock. With Mac down and barely responsive despite Bridget’s panicked attempts to check on him, Annie rushes to bump Kylie off of the apron while Nuke blasts Bridget from the side with Give ‘Em the Boot, getting 3 and a nuclear amount of disdain from fans in attendance.

Your winners (pinfall, 16:13), the team of Nuke, Annie and Alexander Darling!

Aftrerward, Bridget pays no mind to the recent result, checking on Mac’s arm, which is now puffy and swollen as he cannot even sit up without help. Nuke, Adam and Annie celebrate their skullduggery as Alexander pats Nuke on the back with a slight smile cracking through. Nuke tries to go in for more damage, but is cut off by a weapon-ladened Kylie, who brought a chair from the outside.

Russ: “Look at Mac’s arm! What was on or in those fangs?”
Razz: “Mac has a number of simple allergies and intolerances. It could have been something like lactose or mushrooms.”
Russ: “I don’t think milk would have stopped him dead in his tracks and dropped him in a frothing heap. Those fangs were poisoned and Mac took that bullet for Bridget.”
Razz: “Maybe it was expired milk. You’re missing the point, Russ, this is the biggest win of Nuke’s career! We should be proud of this OOWF-trained rookie getting a win over the likes of a two-time former world champion and The Frenemies!”

• Zed vs. Sean Franklin

Sean quickly takes control of the match after the bell, using his wrestling ability to stifle Zed. He eventually shows off his raw strength, body slamming Zed before carrying him to the corner, placing him in the Tree of Woe and adding a boot across the face for good measure.

Razz: “Sean Franklin doesn’t just want to beat Zed, he wants to humiliate him!”
Russ: “That’s been clear since Day 1. But why?”

Zed lays on the mat, and Sean climbs to the top turnbuckle and goes for a flying elbow drop. Zed rolls out of the way, however, and Sean goes crashing to the mat. Back on his feet, Zed stands up Sean and lands a flurry of quick, striking offense before hitting the ropes and dropping Sean with a running knee lift.

Again, Zed rushes to stand Sean back up, and sets up behind Sean for the Moment of Zed. However, Sean discretely lifts up a leg, striking Zed with a low blow without Mel Creech noticing.

With Zed doubled over in pain, Sean spins around and hits a belly-to-belly suplex, which sends Zed awkwardly crashing into the turnbuckle. Dazed, Zed is helpless as Sean lifts him to the top turnbuckle.

Razz: “What in the hell is the rookie doing here?”

With Zed seated on the top turnbuckle, Sean pulls down the straps of his singlet and superplexes Zed.

BRICK~! shouts from ringside, and Sean takes a knee facing him, responding verbally and adding in a crude hand gesture for good measure. Sean then stands back up, looking over Zed and shaking his head. Zed slowly gets up to a knee, clearly still shaking off the cobwebs.

Razz: “I don’t know if Zed should keep going here.”
Russ: “At some point, discretion has to be the better part of valor, whether it’s from Zed, his corner or Mel Creech.”

Sean drags Zed to his feet, leaning into his ear and whispering one final message before hitting a Full Nelson Slam. Sean offers a half-assed cover for the pinfall attempt, but Mel Creech could count to 100 here and it wouldn’t matter.

Your winner (9:22; pinfall), Sean Franklin!

Russ: “I can’t believe what we’ve just seen.”
Razz: “Sean Franklin didn’t just defeat a former OOWF World Champion, he obliterated him!”
Russ: “I think our focus now has to turn to Zed’s health, I haven’t seen him look this worse for – oh, now, what the hell is this?”

Just as it looks like Sean is about to start gloating to the masses about his win, Mel Creech convenes ringside with OOWF officials. Zed, still lifeless on the mat, is attended to by physicians.

Seeing the commotion, Sean rolls out of the ring and joins the huddle, trying to figure out what exactly is going on and pleading his case, whatever it may be at this point.

Eventually, Mike Elevenbee grabs a microphone …

Mike: “After official review, it has been determined that Zed’s foot was underneath the ropes, nullifying the pinfall attempt by Sean Franklin. This match WILL continue!”

Sean goes NUCLEAR hearing this and seeing the win taken from him. Zed is now seated upright on the mat, talking with the ringside medical personnel.

Russ: “I understand rules are rules, but how the hell is Zed supposed to continue in this match?”

He doesn’t get the chance. Sean grabs a chair from the ringside area and storms into the ring, smashing the chair into Zed’s back.

Your winner (10:52; disqualification), Zed!

The medical personnel scatter and officials quickly step in to separate Sean from Zed, but not before he can connect a handful of times with the chair. Zed spills out of the ring, now with a massive cut along his forehead.

As the officials forcibly usher Sean up the ramp and backstage, he can be heard shouting “Now you know! Now you know!”

• The Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro vs. Shoken Dojo (Jack Quinn, PORK and Katie Bardoor)

The Guard and Angie Delpetro are out first. Mr. Liam and Mr. Nigel hold the ropes open for Angie and she steps between them and sneers at the crowd. "Symphony of Destruction" plays but only Jack walks out. The heels move toward the ropes as Jack makes his way down the ramp, when PORK and Katie slide into the ring behind them, each with a kendo stick and the fight is on!

Katie and PORK wear Liam and Nigel out with kendo shots, PORK swings wildly for Angie's head, but she drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring, right into a clotheslining from Jack. Jack pulls her to her feet and BLISTERS her with chops , backing her up the ramp. Inside the ring, PORK clotheslines Liam over the top rope to the floor, while Katie hits a HOTSHOT on Nigel, as he bounces back, PORK throws him over the top rope to the floor. Katie notices Jack, Jack whips Angie down the ramp toward the ring, Katie springs over the top rope and hits a buckshot lariat on a running Angie!

Katie throws her back into the ring and PORK covers but Mr. Liam comes in with a chair and slams it down across PORK's back breaking it up. The six then brawl around the ring, with PORK and Katie going to war with the Guard. As they brawl up the ramp and around the ring, Angie and Jack go nose to nose in the middle of the ring. Jack tries a suplex, but Angie slips free and hits a lungblower, but doesn't cover. Instead she slips outside the ring and grabs a kendo stick and waits for Jack to get to his feet. As he stands, Angie tosses it to Jack, he catches it and glares at Angie. She repeatedly screams DO IT! Jack looks like he wants to, but at the last second he tosses it aside and ducks the coming boot from Liam that catches Angie right on the jaw! PORK and Katie are back into the ring, Jack slides out of the ring to the floor and low bridges Nigel as he hits the ropes, then drops him on the floor with a German suplex. Inside the ring, Katie catches Angie with a superkick to the jaw that sends her right into PORK, who lifts her onto his shoulders, PORK hits a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER, but on the outside, Jack slides a chair into the ring just before Angie hits the mat, then pulls the chair away after PORK rolls her up. Jack turns to the front row and shrugs his shoulders and tells the fans to keep quiet as the referee counts three!

Your winners (pinfall, 16:28), Shokan Dojo!

But the carnage continues. Pete Quick races to the ring with a chair and KILLS PORK with a shot to the head. The Guard and Angie quickly recover and put a beating on Shokan Dojo. As Angie holds Katie, choking her with the kendo stick and Nigel keeps PORK on the mat, Liam grabs Jack and hits a BRAINBUSTER! Jack struggles to his feet and Nigel CRUSHES his head with a chair! Jack lies on the mat motionless. Pete Quick grabs a mic:

Pete: ”Look at that Jack. Not a soul.”

Nigel grabs Jack and forces him to stare at Quick, blood runs down Jack's face from a gash on his head.

Pete: “Do you hear the crowd, Jackie? Listen …” *Quick waves the mic around, the crowd is in a stunned silence* "They don't care. No one in the back has come out to help you. They don't care, Jackie.”

Quick pushes Jack's hair back and digs his fingers into the gash in Jack's head causing more blood to flow, and causing Jack to howl in pain. Quick looks at his bloody fingers then runs his fingers under his eyes like war paint.

Pete: “Jack Quinn, you are a cancer to this profession. You embody everything wrong with this business. You spent your career doing nothing but causing pain, misery and suffering, and now you think you can just …” <POOF> “… make it all go away by claiming you've changed.”

Quick nods at Nigel, who pulls Jack to his feet and PLANTS him with a chokeslam, then once again pulls him up, forcing him to look at Quick. 

Pete: “Not used to this, are you Jackie? You're used to GIVING the beatings, not receiving them. And still … no one comes to help you. No one cares. I will break you Jack. I will end you. I will rid the OOWF of the cancer that is Jack Quinn.”

Nigel slams Jack face first into the mat and The Guard, Angie and Quick stand over Jack until PORK and Katie get to heir feet and officials FINALLY come to the ring. Medics try to help Jack to his feet, but he shoves them aside and tries to stand on his own, takes a few steps and slumps to one knee. Katie and PORK help him to his feet, and help him out of the ring to the back

• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. The Electric Company

With Joe and Jamie already in the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” brings out Hunter and Dakota to a response reserved only for the tippy-top of OOWF’s popularity chart as The Woodsmen strike their familiar pose before striding confidently to ringside. While Dakota is holding a chart of some sort, Hunter grabs the microphone from Mike Elevenbee and has to wait over a minute before the crowd will allow him to speak.

Hunter: “Great fans of OOWF, June is upon us. With June comes outdoor time, which Dakota and I are proponents of, but also a time to always be aware of ticks.”

Dakota unfurls a chart, giving statistics and also visual aids to identify tick bites.

Hunter: “As The Woodsmen …”

Hunter and Dakota strike their familiar pose with Dakota playing fanfare on an alphorn kazoo while Hunter puts his hand over his brow while pantomiming stepping on a large rock.

Hunter: “… We want to make sure that all of those who hear our message are as safe as can be from the scourge of ticks and the blood borne illnesses that they transmit. So, Dakota will use this special comb to inspect Joe and Jamie, to make sure that they are free and clear for not only competition this evening, but also doing all they can to ensure continued health.”

Dakota, with rubber gloves on, approaches The Electric Company with the comb. Joe, who is bald, goes first and receives a thumbs up from Dakota. Jamie takes off his hardhat and is inspected by Dakota, who jumps back and confers with Hunter, who is watching the proceedings very closely. Hunter nods at Dakota as he reaches into his fanny pack and produces a bottle marked “TickGone.”

Hunter: “Jamie. It appears that Dakota has located a tick in that glorious mane of yours. You’re in luck, however. Because Dakota tells me that the tick was not fully engorged, nor was it positioned in your scalp. But in the interest of safety, we offer you this special leave-in shampoo that will eliminate any and all parasitic insects that may inhabit your scalp. All we ask is that, you, choose not to fight us in this contest. In the interest of safety.”

Jamie ponders the offer for a minute, holds the bottle in his hand and looks to Joe before crushing the bottle with its contents oozing through his fingers. Jamie then charges Hunter with a bottle-aided fist that knocks him silly as Mel Creech signals for a bell. Jamie pounds away at Hunter, unaware that Dakota has a second bottle of TickGone that he pours liberally on Jamie’s head. Dakota then massages the shampoo into Jamie’s scalp – getting some in his opponent’s eyes – while Hunter and Joe battle with a flurry of right hands from both on the outside. Dakota, using water from his canteen, rinses the shampoo from Jamie’s scalp and offers a towel. An annoyed Jamie tosses it back to Dakota, who throws it back into Jamie’s face. As Jamie struggles to free himself from the towel seemingly struck to his wet hair, Dakota sneaks behind and secures a schoolboy rollup, getting 3 from Creech.

Your winners (pinfall, 1:37), and STILL OOWF Tag-Team Champions, The Woodsmen!

Afterward, Hunter and Dakota rush to embrace fans at ringside as Dakota plays the kazoo fanfare while also inspecting those fans for ticks as the feed cuts to an advertisement for Judge John Law, weekdays at 4 and 4:30 p.m., only on OOWF.TV.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Mangyuniku (c) vs. Awesome Bill From Dawsonville

“Freebird” plays as a scowling mad Awesome Bill stalks to ringside. Bill steps over the ropes and holds a microphone.

Awesome Bill: “I ain’t known for knowing much, but I knows in my heart that that there Jack Quinn done attacked my partner and best buddy earlier tonight. Them Royal Guard fellers saw the whole thing and told me all about it when Justin was being put in that wee-woo ambulance. Jack, after discussifying with Ellie Mae, we has decided that Banned From Everywhere is banning you and your kin for life from our fine establishment.”

“King of the Clouds” plays after Awesome Bill spikes the microphone cutting the hush that fell over the crowd. Jeff looks to the crowd and salutes them before The Royal Guard emerge from the back and pummel Jeff with chairs and King Pete Quick’s scepter. It’s not long before Jeff is a bloody mess, having the jewel-encrusted scepter raked repeatedly across his face by Nigel. OOWF Security spills out to break up the beating, but Jeff is hardly able to stand as a very confused Awesome Bill courteously assists Jeff to the ring. Jeff slumps in a corner while Davis Hightower is asking if Jeff still wants the match. Awesome Bill, who replays show is speaking with Angie DelPetro at ringside, has no knowledge of what put Jeff in his state. Jeff nods that he wants the match to start with Hightower obliging.

Jeff falls face-first onto the mat, out cold, without Awesome Bill even lifting a finger. Hightower, who started the match also ends it.

Your winner (referee stoppage, :15), and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!

Afterward, an even-more confused Awesome Bill is handed the championship while Angie, the Royal Guard and Pete applaud from atop the ramp.

Russ: “Did Awesome Bill just sell his soul to … THEM?”
Razz: “I think he’s just as puzzled by all of this as we are, but if he’s got a beef with Jack Quinn, those are the people you want on your side.”

• OOWF World Heavyweight Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge
Back in the ring for the big-match introductions, Beverly and Lexie stretch in their respective corners with each receiving loud applause as Misato Misawa checks both grapplers before “Zombified” breaks the silence. AEW wrestler Saraya stands on the ramp while Tony Khan, the company’s president joins her and pulls a microphone from his jacket.

Tony: “Admit it, you never thought I’d set foot on AEW property, but here I am. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa, if I can call you that, I have a business proposal for you. You see, I’m not too happy about what happened on March 12 in Jacksonville, so I’m here to get that win back. No wagers. No stakes. Just pride. Another best-of-seven card, right here in Asheville. We’ll play by your rules, so if you want an inter-gender match, you got it. July 29, Lisa. Have your suits call my suits and we’ll make it happen. Until then, I’ll leave a card in the ring to let everyone know that we were here.”

The camera cuts to the ring where AEW women’s champion Toni Storm and Ruby Soho attack Beverly and Lexie from behind as Saraya dashes down to make it a 3-on-2 assault. As the women use the numbers to their advantage to subdue Beverly while looking to spray paint Lexie, Lindsay McAllister hops over the barricade with a kendo stick in hand swinging at anyone not on the OOWF payroll. The intruders head for higher ground while Beverly and Lexie collect themselves to see Lindsay standing tall and staring down the uninvited adversaries. The main-event combatants smile and nod at Lindsay who motions for Saraya, Toni and Ruby to return to the ring, an offer that the three AEW wrestlers decline.

Russ: "Lindsay! She's back, and thank heavens she was here!"