[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – July 1, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Rory Thomas

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Sean Franklin vs. Zed

• Eight-person tag: The Royal Guard, Angie Delpetro and “King” Pete Quick vs. The Woodsmen and Shokan Dojo (PORK and Katie Bardoor)

• The Frenemies vs. Nuke and Annie

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton

• Lindsay McAllister vs. Ona Jones

• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. The One-Notes

• Alexander Darling vs. Jeff Mangyuniku

• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing

Card subject to more acts of emergency golf coverage.

[Zed]

We cut to a tight shot of Sean Franklin doing pull-ups in the Spin Hansen Memorial Training Center. His forehead is bandaged up from Saturday's match. We hear a voice shout out, "SEAN!" but with AirPods in his ears, he appears to not hear the noise and continues his workout. 

The camera begins to zoom out, and we see Zed, with the slightest of limps, walk up behind Sean, pondering how to get Sean's attention without spooking him. He pulls out his phone and sends a text to Sean ("Hey, can we talk?"), which sets off an alert on Sean's watch. Sean rolls his eyes, but stops to pull out his own phone to respond, bumping into Zed in the process.

SF: WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Z: Well, that didn't work.

SF: WHAT DIDN'T WORK?!? WHY WOULD YOU TEXT ME IF YOU'RE RIGHT HERE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

Z: *gesturing to his ears* Take the AirPods out and stop yelling and I will tell you.

Sean seems to "get it" when Zed says that, turning down the music and taking out the AirPods. Zed extends his hand.

Z: I came for my handshake.

Sean looks down at Zed's hand and the same shocked expression from the end of Saturday's main event returns to his face. You can almost see the color draining from his complexion as well.

SF: I ... dude ... 

Z: If you do not shake my hand, I will pour hot sauce in your eyes again.

SF: But why? I tried to kill you.

Z: You'll have that in No-DQ matches sometimes.

SF: No, like ... I snapped. I lost control. I can't take any satisfaction in beating you that way. I want to retire you, not murder you.

Z: And I want neither of those things to happen. We fought. You won. Shake my hand.

After a few seconds, Sean relents and accepts the handshake.

Z: Look ... I don't buy a lot of the bullshit you heard going into the match about "Main Event Zed" or anything like that. But we were both going to do whatever it took to win Saturday. It just happened to be your "Welcome to the OOWF" moment, and I happened to be in the ring, but you passed the test. Don't beat yourself up over that.

SF: Why are you being nice to me? 

Z: Because I can't help myself. 

Sean shakes his head again, still wrapping his head around the situation.

SF: So are you, like, good?

Z: At wrestling? Debatable.

SF: No, like, medical cleared you?

Z: Oh, yeah, you can't concuss me, I don't have a brain. Knee's a little sore, but I'm old and washed up, right? When isn't my knee sore?

SF: But I tried to kill you.

Z: Yeah, well, you didn't kill me, and at this point I refuse to give you the satisfaction of retiring me. 

SF: And what was the deal with the hot sauce, anyways?

Z: Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, kid.

SF: But hot sauce?

Z: What else was I going to do? Barbed wire weapons have already been done, neither of us are Mick Foley enough for thumbtacks, fire might be one of the only things that actually terrifies me - 

SF: Yeah, she can be pretty intimidating.

Z: No, I mean, like, actual fire. Fire loves my mom, so I'm safe there.

SF: How do you sound more hokey every time you talk? WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?

Z: Because I made you shake my hand.

SF: You know what? I'm glad you're okay.

Z: Me too!

SF: Because I cannot WAIT to kick your ass next Saturday with a guilt-free conscience.

Z: You can try!

Zed walks away as Sean tries to be really mad about all of this and we FADE.

[Fire-Babe]

The credits are rolling at the end of what appears to be a replay of the latest Saturday Slam, but then the camera pulls back and it's actually a television screen. The camera pull back further and it is Chris Jericho. He hits a button and recording pauses where it says "General Manager ... Lisa Marie "Firewoman" Quinn Mann.

Y2J: Tsk tsk tsk....so many names to add to your already very very long list of aliases.

He pantomimes counting on his finger.

Y2J: About as many names as I have holds! There's one though that I never thought I'd use for you.

....Coward.

That's right...Even when you were running from your crimes in Japan, and I scooped you up and rescued you, it never occurred to me...MAYBE it wasn't just a smart survival move to leave the country. No, and you know, it wasn't until I watched last night...

See, you hid it well. You were fearless while I was training you, my protégé, molding and shaping you into the wrestler that you...well, you used to be. It was a passing thought when your AEW contract fell apart and you went running back to the safety of the training school.. but I thought...naaaaaah, not MY Firewoman. Not the wrestler I found...I saved...I trained... and yes, loved.....and CREATED.

But...here we are. Back in the promotion you claim to love, for some strange reason, and ... nowhere near the ring. Sitting in an office.. where it's safe.. Sure, you talk tough, and still wield your weapons and threaten your long-suffering valet....but have you even lain a hand on anyone?

And then...before I could really wrap my head around new kinder, gentler, maternal, corporate Fire....The DAY AFTER you try to rally your team to your cause against me...You don't even SHOW UP to your OWN SHOW!?

He takes a deep breath

Now, I know you. I know you SO WELL. Better than Lucas, better than your brother, ESPECIALLY better than your dimwitted first husband. Because I MADE you. So you're going to protest and rant and rave and maybe break some furniture. So go do that, have your little tantrum, and then you have to decide.

Do you still have what it takes? IF you think you do, and you're not too SCARED to test it out....Get. In. That. Ring.

July 29. You. Me. That's right. Time to get your final training session from me. We have two learning goals. One, how to not be a chicken when you have a whole lot of ring rust. And two, how to lose your promotion less than a year after it starts.

Suddenly a gun shot rings out. The camera pans back further and we see that we were watching ANOTHER television, this one in Firewoman's office. The screen has now been shot out, and as we pan further back we see Firewoman holding her gun with the barrel still smoking.

FAAAAAADE

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find THE WOODSMEN – HUNTER and DAKOTA – rushing to find JACK QUINN inside Shokan Dojo. As they approach his office, an envelope can be seen in DAKOTA’s hand*

HUNTER: “Jack Woodsman! We have outstanding news!”

JACK *snapped from his meditative state*: “Whaaaaa … Why are you two here?”

H: “Dakota received this note from the counsel of Peter Quick minutes ago. After opening it, we had to rush to share this news.”

JQ: “And …?”

DAKOTA *while putting on and fussing with reading glasses*: “Moosey, baby. Instead of embarrassing you and your bumbling excuses for attorneys in the courtroom, where you will be clearly outmatched. I’m willing to drop all charges against you, while maintaining my pursuit of the Moosehead Jack trademarks and royalties if you accept this challenge. On the July 1, 15 and August 12 editions of ‘Saturday Slam,’ you will required to defeat a mystery wrestler of my choosing under OOWF Onslaught rules, again where you’ll be clearly outmatched. If you defeat all three, then I have one final challenge that I’ll reveal to you for the August 26 episode of ‘Saturday Slam.’ If you fail to win any of those three matches, I will assume all rights to the Moosehead Jack trademarks and I will see that you are banned from any OOWF event in which I am booked for the next year.”

JQ: “Interesting. He’s dropping charges that he never pressed since we requested this trial to clear my name of any wrongdoing. Gentlemen, when is the trial set to begin?”

*DAKOTA pulls a crumpled letter from his fanny pack*

D: “Per the note from the courtroom of Judge John Law, the trial is to begin on August 14.”

*JACK scratches his chin in thought for a moment*

JQ: “Tell Quick that I’ll do both.”

H: “Jack Woodsman, that’s lunacy!”

JQ: “Boys, he wants lunacy from me. I’ll let him think that he’s getting it, then we beat him twice at his games. He wants trademarks and to crush me legally, I want to crush his spirit.”

H: “BULLY!”

JQ *nodding*: “Bully.”

D: “BULLY!”

JQ: “Bully. Now gentlemen, I believe that you need to consult Katie and PORK about strategy for your upcoming match.”

H: “Jack Woodsman, you have nothing to fear because we are The Woodsmen …” *the duo strikes a pose as HUNTER places his hand across his brow as if he’s searching for something in the distance while DAKOTA plays fanfare on a kazoo shaped to look like a small Alphorn as he appears to be stepping on an imaginary rock* “… We are familiar with the strengths and weaknesses of Ms. Bardoor and Mr. PORK and have already developed a plan to maximize our chances of winning on ‘Saturday Slam.’”

*DAKOTA pulls out another note from his fanny pack that simply reads “HIT THEM SO HARD THAT WE’LL HIT THEM ALL VERY HARD” and proudly hands it to JACK*

JQ: “We’ll build off of this, guys.”

*JACK and THE WOODSMEN continue their conversation as the scene fades*

[Sportsguy]

We fade in to Shokan Dojo and see Matt Folz and Jack Quinn having a drink.

Matt: That's a hell of a strategy Dakota came up with.

Jack: Nothing wrong with a classic.

Matt: True. So, I'm here for another couple weeks... MAYBE a month to help Lindsay get back to ring speed. But- not that you need any help preparing for an Onslaught Match- but if you do just give me a call.

Jack: I appreciate that Matt. Thanks.

Matt: No problem.

Jack: You know... the one show I won't be having an Onslaught Match is the AEW show.

Matt: I'm aware. Even though there's nothing on the line I wish you all luck.

Jack: Thanks. But I wasn't asking for luck. Blackpool Combat Club has 4 members. Katie, Pork and myself could use a partner. Come on, look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that you aren't tempted.

Matt: Tempted? Hell yes I'm tempted. Danielson is one guy I would have loved to have faced in my prime. Unfortunately, I'm going to refuse. The truth is I'd come back for one match and ONLY one match, and it's not against Blackpool Combat Club.

Jack (Nods): I understand. Can't blame me for asking though.

Matt (Smiles): I'm flattered you did.

Just then Matt's cell phone goes off. He looks at his screen and smiles.

Matt: Speaking of that match... I gotta take this. Thanks for the drink.

Jack: No problem. Hey... at least give me a hint?

Matt smiles.

Matt: Let's just say that it will involve old friends of both you and I.

The camera follows Matt as he leaves the Dojo and starts walking as he answers his phone. We hear his side of the conversation.

Matt: Hey, thanks for getting back to me. It's been a long time. (Laughs) Yes, I'm serious. Yes, I think we can pull of at least a decent match... although I think it'll be a bit better than that. Why the hell are YOU of all people worried about your legacy? This is a meaningless match, a glorified exhibition. However this match ends up, it's not going to hurt us at all. Look, I'm asking you just to think about it. Take a week, talk to your family and then get back to me. Alright, thank you.

FADE

[Jack Quinn]

<we once again see Folz and Jack walking down the hall toward Shokan Dojo>

J: Matt, I cannot thank you enough for the help with PORK and Katie

M: My pleasure Jack, those two are rounding into quite the team. If they keep improving, they could be among the all-time greats.

J: They are getting there.

M: You heard anything about your opponent?

J: Not a word

M: Not even from the dirt sheets?

J: Well, they are speculating everything from Goldberg to the ghost of Bruiser Brody

M: Not much help there

J: Nope

M: How's the wife?

J: Kelly is off visiting family, felt it would be better if she weren't around until this shit was settled with Quick

M: Kali

J: What did I say?

M: Doesn't matter

<they round the corner and see the door to Shokan Dojo has once again been sprayed with DIE JACK DIE! Thgiis time there is a DVD lying on the floor in front of the door. Jack sighs and picks it up and they head inside.

They walk into Jack's office and Jack pops the DVD in and pours himself a drink. As Jack lifts the glass, his hand begins to shake uncontrollably, Jack sets the drink down, closes his eyes and rubs his temples, then tries again with his other hand. Folz notices, but says nothing. The television plays>

<Welcome to "Real Talk" here on the Heel News Network, I am Tucker Hannity, and this week, my guest is OOWF superstar King Quick! Quick joins him and they shake hands>

TH: First thing, I have to ask for an update on the conditions of Justin Sane and Ellie May From Elijay after the heinous, unprovoked, dare I even say criminal, act by Jack Quinn.

Q: They are both recovering, slowly. Their injuries were numerous and severe. It is such a tragedy to see what one man's lust for blood and carnage can do. We were so afraid of Mr. Quinn coming to finish the job that we have had to keep Justin and Ellie May at an undisclosed medical facility for their own safety. That also means friends, family and loved ones have had no contact with them at ALL!

TH: That is absolutely horrifying! Why hasn't Jack Quinn been terminated by this company? He alone is responsible for providing an unsafe workplace environment!

Q: Well......I think it is perfectly clear why no action is taken against Mr. Quinn.

TH: Lay it out for our listeners

Q: It all starts at the top, right? Mr. Quinn is allowed to get away with his actions because his sister is the GM. And SHE was put in place by Juni. It is clear that Juni has no interest in controlling the OOWF anymore. And my sources in Japan tell me that there is a certain organized group that......."encouraged" Juni to allow the former Ms. Quinn to run the OOWF.

TH: Are you suggesting the Quinn's have maintained their ties to organized crime?

Q: All I am saying is, Firewoman has done nothing to deserve this position. There was a time when she was on the outs with this......"organization" but what strings have been pulled in the last few years? My sources say the....."organization" has convinced Juni to put Fire in charge, so they can skim off the top to repay the debt SHE owes them!

TH: That........that is criminal!

Q: Well, the Quinn family is nothing if not a pack of lunatics

TH: Doesn't it scare you to speak out against them like this? They both have a history of......shall we say, mental illness and violence

Q: Unlike others I am not afraid of the Quinns. Jack Quinn is a shadow of hiss former self, neutered to the point that not only does not one fear him but no one respects or defends him. And Fire? She has lost the will to fight. She will not defend her own brother, and who can blame her? He had her committed to an insane asylum! She doesn't fight FOR him, she won't fight WITH him, all she does is allow his criminal behavior. It is absolutely scandalous!

TH: It seems like something HAS to be done about the Quinn Crime Family!

Q: They have spread terror and ruin across the wrestling world for decades. Be it alone, or with any number of their little groups, those two social deviants, especially Jack Quinn are everything wrong with this country. I want t make wrestling great again and rid it of the blights that are the Quinn family. Think of it, when they are gone, we can go back to the days of legitimate wrestling competitions, and reasonable reactions to situations.

TH: I saw Firewoman's response to Tony Khan's challenge

Q: Can you imagine? Tony Khan, a legitimate, level headed businessman gives this company another chance to show themselves on the big stage, and Fire responds by trying to burn their building down! THAT is not leadership! That is a criminal enterprise! From day one, the Quinn's have been nothing but trash. They like to tell the stories that they were the toughest kids on the block, but the truth is out there, and the truth is, the Quinn's were the spawn of an alcoholic father and a drug addled mother, they were poor, pathetic charity cases and their ONLY future was in wrestling, otherwise they both would have been behind bars, parasites to the respectable community of Americans that make up this country. Firewoman cannot be bothered to wrestle, and that is probably for the best. But Jack Quinn, I will destroy you. I will fight until my last breath to see you run out of wrestling and put where you belong for your wanton attacks on Justin and Ellie May - behind bars

TH: That is all the time we have for today, I would like to thank my guest, the eminently respectable and honorable King Pete Quick. I wish you the best against Jack Quinn, someone has to bring those animals to justice! Just be careful, it seems Fire has taken to using a handgun

Q: Truly the mark of a coward Tucker.

<the video ends and Matt and Jack stand there in silence. Jack finishes his drink and turns to pour another, his hands trembling noticeably. As he pours, the glass falls out of his hand and smashes on the floor. Jack puts his hands on the table and sighs before grabbing another glass and pouring a drink>

M: You don't really believe any of that garbage

J: <drinking> doesn't matter what I believe. In the court of public opinion, I am already guilty.

M: I know you didn't do it.

J: <smiling and shaking his head> I know you do. Unfortunately, you are one of the few. I couldn't even convince Bill that I didn't do it.

M: Jack......I......

J: <checking his watch and finishing his drink> Hate to do this, but I gotta run. Sorry. Look, Mike, let yourself out whenever you want......I'll be back later

M: <after Jack leaves> you mean Matt

<We see Jack head down the halls until he gets to GM the Fire's office. She is sitting at her desk on the phone, but it clearly is not an important matter. Jack barges in, grabs the phone and hangs it up>

FW: HEY!

J: I need you to come with me

FW: I'm busy

J: <looking around the office, which is almost spotless> You're not

FW: I have plans with Lucas tonight

J: I already checked, you'll be home in time to see both Lucas and Patrick

FW: I don't WANT to go

J: I don't care

<Fire crosses her arms and sits defiantly. Jack grabs the bridge of his nose>

J: GODDAMNIT FIRE! I do not have time to write a "If Jack Wins, Fire Has To Go For A Ride With Him" match. WHY. DOES. EVERYTHING. HAVE. TO. BE. A. GODDAMN. FIGHT?!?!?!?!

FW: <glaring at Jack and seeing he is serious> I'll get my coat

<Fire gets her leather jacket and leaves the room, Jack yells FUCK and follows her out, slamming the door. They get to the garage and get into the mustang and tear off into the evening>

meanwhile.......

<we cut to the Woodsmen's Bivouac where we see Katie, PORK and Hunter sitting at a table>

P: So, what is the strategy for this week?

K: I say we just repeatedly punch them in the face until their faces are mush and the referee has to stop the match

H: I DO SAY! That seems rather violent!

P: Where is Dakota?

<fanfare plays and Dakota walks in carrying a large, and clearly very old, book and drops it on the table>

H: Dakota! My good man! You have brought treasure!

D: I have! Woodsmen love treasure!

Both: BULLY TO TREASURE!

K: Ok.......so.......what is this?

D: THIS is the key to our victory!

K: Oh! We're going to beat them to death with this very old, very heavy book?

H: What? No! Of course not! Woodsmen do not kill! We document!

K: Fine, you document Quick's corpse after I beat him to death

H: <to Dakota> This one seems a bit dangerous!

D: <to Hunter> We should approach her as one would a wile porcupine

H: <to Dakota> With extreme caution!

Both: <quietly> bully to extreme caution!

D: <ahem> No good War Pigs! This is a tome we collected from the ancient temples at Cahokia, it shows the ancient fighting techniques of the Algonquin!

P: <flipping through the pages> There sure is a lot of disemboweling in here.....

K: <grabbing the book> lemme see that! Ooooooh! I like the part where they play kickball with their victim's heads

H: Ummm Dakota, perhaps this was the wrong choice of ancient tomes!

D: I fear you may be correct Hunter! I will rectify this mistake with great speed!

<Dakota grabs the book and quickly replaces it with a Where's Waldo book>

K: What the hell is this?

D: The Woodsman's Field Manual

P: Guys, this is Where's Waldo

H: A good Woodsman must be able to ALWAYS get their man!

P: Isn't that the Mounties?

D: Good sir! That is a BRILLIANT idea!

P: Ummmmm

H: Jacques Rougeau! He can help us unlock the mystery of our match!

D: TO CANADA!

H: TO CANADA!

<The two stand up and strike a pose while fanfare plays on a kazoo. They then strike off, presumably for Canada and the search for Jacques Rougeau>

P: This place is weird

K: Let's go get something to eat, dicknuts

<PORK shakes his head and they walk away>

RETURNING to........

<We see Jack's mustang flying up the Blue Ridge Parkway and it pulls into an empty parking lot in a pull off. The Quinn's get out of the car and start up the trail. The camera follows them up the rather steep climb, when they get to the top, they come to a clearing with a STUNNING view>

F: Wow, what the hell is this?

J: It's the Devil's Courthouse. According to Cherokee legend, Judacullah - their version of the devil - lived in a cave near here, and out on this ledge, he would judge the souls of the dead, if you were judged well, your spirit was allowed to remain, if you were judged evil, you were thrown off the edge down to the forest below.

F: It's beautiful and all, but I......

<Jack holds up a hand and reaches into his bag and hands Fire a mat. Jack spreads his on the ground and sits in full lotus, Fire hesitates, but follows him>

J: The sun is about to dip under the ridge, so there isn't a whole lot of time. I know you feel it up here, so just.......whatever your reasons are for not wanting to wrestle, or whatever the hell is going on with you.......and with me.......just.........be

<the two sit in silence and meditate while the sun dips below the ridge. As it does, they both exhale and bring their hands to heart center and slowly come back to present. They both get up and without a word, head back to the car. Just before he heads down the path behind his sister, Jack turns and looks back at the spot they sat, where his mat was, there is a small, burned black spot, Jack smirks>

J: That's all I needed.

<Jack turns back and catches up with his sister, and we fade>

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman returns alone to her office.

L: Soooo, how was the ... whatever it was you were doing?

FW: Fine, I guess....

L: You look confused.

FW: I mean, no lecture, no ... I have no idea what that was all about.

L: Yes, you do.

FW: ...

L: ....

FW: Fine. What'd I miss.

L: You have a message from Dr. Arce.

Fire takes the note and looks at it, scowling. She tosses it onto her desk, angrily.

FW: Well there it is, then.

L: I know what you're thinking, and I think you need to stop thinking that.

FW: I'm not thinking anything.

L: You need to talk to your husband--

FW: He is 100 percent in support.

L: Only because I bet you haven't told him everything, and you should also talk to your brother.

FW: I just did?

L: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

FW: Wow, yelling at me?

L: I dunno.. just...ONCE... listen to someone else.

Lucky leaves, scene fades.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find SANDRA FALLON walking through the MacCade Retro Gaming Center when she encounters MAC FLASHER. Before the two can speak to each other, CARRIE and HARPER, THE ONE-NOTES attempt a sneak attack using plastic guitars from the game Guitar Hero, which only serve to annoy MAC and SANDRA before the makeshift duo stem the tide of the impromptu fight in their favor with varying strikes. As CARRIE tries to scamper away, SANDRA grabs her by the hair and whips her into a row of pinball machines. HARPER lands a few punches on MAC before he decides that it’s fuck-this-o-clock and delivers a roaring elbow, staggering HARPER into the clutches of SANDRA, who then suplexes her onto an air hockey table. MAC and SANDRA survey the damage with MAC pulling out his phone to document the broken items*

MAC: “Is there something you needed, Sandra?”

SANDRA: “Brah. I just wanted to know if we could fight together. Looks like we can.”

*MAC and SANDRA exchange hang-ten hand gestures as the scene fades*

[Fire-Babe]

The ghost blue grass band is playing in the background as Firewoman, Lucas, Lucky, Shizuru, and Patrick appear to be finishing up dinner. Lucas picks up Patrick from his seat.

LM: C’mon little man, let’s get ready for bed.

PM: Play wif Opus!

LM: Opus is tutoring Josie right now, which is a sentence I never thought I’d say….kiss your momma.

Patrick leans over and Fire kisses him on the head.

FW: I’ll come in and check on you later.

PM: Plaaaaay wif Opuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssss!

A tantrum appears to be beginning as Lucas takes him into the other room.

SMM-C: Is that the terrible twos?

FW: Except he’s four. He may have inherited the Quinn family temper.

SMM-C: Poor Stank….

L: I just…I’m sorry I doubted you Fire, I just figured you were keeping all that stuff from Lucas.

FW: It’s been a process but I’ve learned I can trust to be honest with him.

L: And he’s okay with this?

SMM-C: With what?

Lucas comes back in.

FW: That was quick.

LM: I gave him a book. He likes the pictures.

L: *to Lucas* One more time….you’re okay with is? Given…everything?

SMM-C: What is “everything?”

FW: So, Shiz, how would you like to be GM?

SMM-C: Huh?

FW: I need you to step up for a few weeks. I think you’re ready. You’re smart, you have good ring sense, the locker room and the audience loves you. It’ll be fine.

L: And I’ll help you.

SMM-C: Uh…. I ….

FW: Consider this a trial run, and you can see what you think. It will look good on a resume should you ever apply for a similar job here or elsewhere. Also, with a few exceptions I’ve got the next few shows penciled in. All you need to do is fill them out. AND…well, you can make whatever adjustments make sense, especially for the ones further out.

SMM-C: When…when will you be back?

FW: I guess that all depends. End of July probably.

LM: Hopefully.

SMM-C: Then… yes! I won’t let you down.

FW: I know. Because if you do, I will find you and make you pay.

SMM-C: ….

FW: Kidding…. Mostly.

SMM-C: Well…I guess I better get some sleep, I have a big day tomorrow.

Shiz and everyone stands and with handshakes all around, Shiz leaves. Lucky, Lucas, and Fire retire to the living room, and take their seats. Lucas pours some more wine.

LM: Now, can we talk about the elephant in the room? I know you don’t want everyone to know our business, but I have a request.

L: Here it comes.

LM: Two, actually. First, I want you to go in there and look….REALLY look… at that boy…our son…YOUR son. EVERY night.

FW: *annoyed* Do you think I don’t do that now? That I haven’t thought about what this might do to him? To you?

LM: I know you have but you need to keep that in the front of your mind, not pushed aside as you tend to do with things that make you uncomfortable.

L: Damn, he DOES know you…

FW: Shut up, Lucky.

LM: Second…..I want Moose to be with you. Every match. In your corner.

FW: That’s not necessary.

LM: It is, or I will not approve this, and don’t give me that “I don’t need your approval” because you DO. Or if not Moose..I dunno, Lexie, heck even Alex if he’s –

FW: Why in the world would you suggest either of them?

LM: Not my first choices. But they both know you, and know what is … normal for you.

FW: If that’s what you want, then YOU be there.

LM: I am not objective about this. Moose will be.

FW: Fine, I’ll ask… he’ll want to know why.

LM: Then I suppose you’ll have to tell him.

FW: …..

L: ….

LM: …..

FW: Now you’re not playing fair.

LM: Those are my conditions.

L: Seems fair.

FW: Shut up……….okay….FINE. You win.

Lucas and Lucky share a look of relief while Fire just takes a big drink of her wine.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find SANDRA FALLON, MAC FLASHER and BRIDGET O’MALLEY standing tall in the ring following a MidWeek Mayhem match against three local workers with SANDRA hugging MAC as BRIDGET gives a passive glare to the rookie. While SANDRA goes to hug BRIDGET, “I Fell” plays in the OOWF Arena as AEW wrestler DARBY ALLIN strolls out to a mostly positive reaction. DARBY, with a microphone in his jacket pocket, steps into the ring and waits for the crowd response to taper off a bit*

DARBY: “I’m not going to draw this out. Mac. How about you and I tear this place down on July 29?”

MAC: “Wow. This is a shock, but I really have no beef with you, man.”

*SANDRA and BRIDGET each tap MAC on the shoulder before gesturing for him to accept the challenge*

DA: “The surfer girl and the MMA girl get it, Mac. I see July 29 as an opportunity for both of us. I get to face one of the best in OOWF and you can learn that there is a joy in fighting just for the fight and not only because it’s part of some conquest.”

MF: “Wait. Wait. Wait. Did Nuke put you up to this?”

DA: “Trust me when I say this. Fuck that guy. I’m doing this to help both of us. It has nothing to do with anything that’s following you like a green-haired cloud. I just want the fight.”

MF: “So there’s no catch?”

DA: “I’m not Eddie Kingston. I’m not going to talk shit on you for two weeks just to get a better fight from you. I’m not going to call you names. I’m not going to question your abilities. At one time, you were the best in the world. You held the gold that everyone in this business wants to hold. Then you changed. Everything had to be because of a wrong. Every match was only as good as your emotions allowed. Don’t get me wrong, July 29 is going to be a living nightmare for you if you accept this match. After that bell, however, I’ll shake your hand and the hand of anyone who has your back.”

MF: “And the guy who has your back?”

DA: “He’ll shake your hand too.”

MF: “So you’re saying that you want this match just for the fight? Your only agenda is that it’ll be two wrestlers having a wrestling match?”

DA *looking at BRIDGET*: “He doesn’t trust all that easily, does he?”

*BRIDGET shakes her head back and forth* 

DA: “Thought so. Mac, all I’m asking is for this match. I have no motives beyond that. Let’s give these fans the match that they know we’d put on if given the chance. All I need is a handshake.”

*MAC ponders DARBY’s challenge for a minute before looking to BRIDGET and SANDRA, who are both nodding in approval. MAC then looks at DARBY’s extended hand before returning the favor, much to the delight of the fans in attendance* 

MF: “July 29, I’ll see you there.”

*DARBY smiles, gives MAC a respect hug and departs the ring while MAC looks to the fans as the scene fades

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is TRAINING~! in the Spin Hansen Memorial Training Center...wait really? Certainly looks that way...Anyway, she is finishing up and Moosehead Jack Quinn comes in.

JQ: *golf claps* Nice moonsault.

FW: Firesault.

Fire climbs out of the ring and Jack tosses her a towel. She grabs it and downs half a liter of water.

JQ: How long you been at this?

FW: I started wrestling in 19--

JQ: Hilarious. This particular session.

FW: I dunno...couple of hours. Just trying to gauge some stuff. What's up?

JQ: Lucky said you wanted to see me.

FW: Huh? Why would he say that?

JQ: Well, my first guess is because you wanted to see me.

FW: Now you got the jokes. I didn't tell him that.

JQ: Fine. I'll go back to what I was doing.

Jack puts his hands in his pockets and begins to walk away. Fire turns back toward her gear on the edge of the ring, then looks to the sky and sighs.

FW: Wait.

Jack smiles and then quickly suppresses it before he turns around.

FW: I guess, since you're here...

JQ: *walking back towards her* Yessssss....

FW: I mean, I guess there's a few things I was.. well, I was thinking about...

JQ: Go on.....

FW: *glaring* You already know!

JQ: Maybe.

FW: Well fine, then will you or won't you.

JQ: I won't.

FW: Great. Thanks for that.

JQ: I won't.... unless....

FW: ......unless what?

JQ: Unless you ASK me.

FW: What? Why do I have to ask you if you already know?

JQ: Because it'd be good for your mental health. And mine.

FW: Forget it then. I don't have time for these games.

JQ: Suit yourself....

Jack turns and continues walking slowly towards the door. Fire turns too and angrily starts shoving things in her bag. Jack is just about at the door when Fire tosses her bag down.

FW: ALRIGHT!

Jack stops

JQ: Alright what?

FW: I.... I will ask you.

JQ: *turning to face her* for......?

FW: For...

He begins to walk slowly towards her. Fire doesn't move, except for fidgeting with her fingers, and shifting between her feet and looking around, anywhere but AT her brother, as the anxiety of the moment takes hold.

JQ: Go on....

FW: *quietly* help.

JQ: What was that? I couldn't quite hear--

FW: *someone more loudly but still quiet* Help.

JQ: Sorry, Fire but these old ears of mine are just not what they--

FW: HELP!

The word echoes in the room. Jack smiles, but not in a mocking way. In a brotherly way.

JQ: Now, put it all together now.

FW: Will...you...please...help me....train.

JQ: Of course I will!

Jack goes to give her a hug, but Fire backs up.

FW: No. Hugging.

JQ: Okay, okay...you've made one breakthrough for today, the other can wait.

FW: And Lucas wants you at ringside to ... watch.

JQ: Of course. What am I watching for?

FW: ....

JQ: ....

FW: ....

JQ: Fire, I'll be there, no problem, but you're going to have to tell me what I'm watching for.

FW: No, I don't.

JQ: Fine...

FW: So I guess you can just forget all about--

JQ: Oh no no no...you just asked someone...ME... for help. Of your own free will.

FW: Not exactly...

JQ: You're not getting rid of me that easily.

His grin fades as he turns serious.

JQ: I wasn't there for you when you needed me before. I am here now, and I'm not going anywhere. No questions asked.

Jack pats her on the shoulder, as Fire nods, and the scene fades.

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find “KING” PETE QUICK running as fast as possible to OOWF junior executive office, occupied by Interim General Manager SHIZURU-MUNE MANGYUNIKU-COX*

PETE *with almost no breath remaining*: “Sizzlechest. Baby. I need this signed now. All of your questions can be answered after you give me that signature.”

SHIZURU-MUNE: “And what exactly am I signing here?”

PQ: “There you go with the questions when you should be just trusting your boy Pete on this one.”

S-M: “What am I signing?”

PQ: “Look. I’ll give you the quick rundown. Firewoman is leaning toward becoming an active wrestler again. Firewoman doesn’t respect the crown that I wear or what I’m doing to free her brother from the shackles of his past. THIS document ensures that Firewoman can have no contact with me, nor may she be within 500 feet of myself or any of my associates.”

S-M: “Wait. You mean that I have the power to do this kind of thing? Being a GM has its perks.”

*PETE smiles and nods menacingly* 

S-M: “All I have to do is sign this without reading it? I can fully trust that this doesn’t have some fine print that will lead to some sort of event that will eliminate all credibility that I have as an executive, thus jeopardizing any chance of advancing in this or any company?”

PQ: “Sizzle. I wouldn’t do you like that. You’re not a Quinn.”

S-M: “Sizzlechest just trust Crownman?”

PQ: “Yeah! Just trust the Crownman.”

S-M: “Hold up. I should probably run this very sound idea past someone.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE presses a button on his desk phone*

S-M: “Just need you see something real fast. Wanted to run it by you.”

PQ: “Oh for the love of Christ. Lucky doesn’t need to see everything you do like he’s a hall monitor.”

*the conveniently placed door to the senior executive office opens to reveal FIREWOMAN, still in her workout gear*

FIREWOMAN: “You needed something, Shiz?”

PQ: “Meep.”

*PETE exits the office as fast as he entered it, leaving behind a noticeable odor*

F: “Did he just …”

S-M: “Yeah. I think so.”

*SHIZURU-MUNE hands the document to FIREWOMAN as the scene fades*

[Jack Quinn]

<We cut to the roof of the OOWF Arena in Asheville where we see Jack standing there watching the sun set over the mountains. We hear footsteps and soon Fire is standing next to her brother. They remain standing in silence until the sun dips below the tree tops.>

J: I agreed to help you, but there are conditions

F: <hesitating like she does NOT want to hear this> Ok

J: <looking Fire in the eyes> If we are going to do this, we are going to do it MY way. 100% my way. I am not saying this to be a dick, or to hurt you, but if I am going to do this, I have full control. If you are not comfortable with that, you are absolutely free to walk away with no hard feelings.

F: Ok.........you run the show

J: Second, if you quit, we are done. There are no second chances with this, I am not going to start and stop just because you don't want to do it my way. This is the one and only chance.

F: <getting a little annoyed> Ok, I get it. It's your way.

J: Ok good <taking the backpack off his shoulder and opening it and holding it toward Fire> Ok, let's have it

F: Have what?

J: All your weapons

F: WHAT?

J: If you are going to do this my way, you do not need weapons. Garotte.

<Fire rolls her eyes then takes her garotte and drops it in the bag. Jack just stares>

F: What?

J: Do I have to go over every single thing?

F: <sighing, then dropping several knives, knuckle dusters and two shivs from her hair into the bag. Jack continues to just stare> That's all of it!

J: The gun

F: Jack, I need......

<Jack slings the bag over his shoulder and turns to walk away>

F: OK!

<Fire puts the gun in the bag>

J: Is that everything?

F: Yes

<Jack spins and tries for a spinning backfist to the side of Fire's head, she easily moves, gets behind Jack and pulls a knife from.......somewhere......and immediately has it against Jack's throat. Jack steps away from her, gives her a disapproving look, then holds out the bag. Fire's eyes drop and she drops the knife into the bag>

F: What about you?

J: What about me?

F: You have the shank in your boot!

J: And when you're training me, you can tell me to put it in the bag

<The two stand again and seem to hear something on the wind, but it passes quickly>

F: So, I guess you finally got me to be part of your little gang

J: <looking surprised> Shokan Dojo?

F: yeah

J: No. You're not in the Dojo

F: WHAT? Why not?!? You're training me just like PORK and Katie

J: Fire, Shokan Dojo is about Redemption. Not about rehabilitation. You're not ready for redemption.

F: I MOST CERTAINLY AM!

J: No, you're not. And that's ok. If that time comes, when you TRULY want to change, we'll talk, but that time is not now

F: Jack, I think I know what I want

J: <looking at her slightly annoyed> What has your response to Khan been?

F: I would like to take that smarmy little bastard and punch him in the face.....

J: Why?

F: Because he......

J: Gave the OOWF an opportunity to make a comeback? And now he is giving us another opportunity to make our presence known on a global stage? And how have you responded to this?

F: I might have set a small fire

J: You definitely set a small fire

F: HE WAS CHALLENGING US!

J: <sighing> This is what I'm talking about Fire.......we ain't kids no more. This is a business, Khan came here to challenge us to a show, you......as a boss.....responded to that challenge with arson. And now, you want Jericho to settle an old score

F: He said.....

J: I don't care what he said. Look, I will help you get ring ready, but you still cannot let go of petty slights from decades ago, until you can let that shit go, you are not ready for redemption.

F: Must be nice

J: As a matter of fact, it is, and I wish you could let go and find it, I wish you could get your happy ending with Lucas and Patrick and see that life is not a scorecard that cannot be enjoyed until every vendetta - real or imagined - is settled.

<Fire looks down not saying a word. Jack pulls a bottle out of the bag with two shot glasses and hands one to Fire. He pours them each a shot and they take it silently, then Jack pours another>

J: To new beginnings

F: Slainte

<they toast and throw back another shot>

F: I do have ONE rule

J: <looking dubious> What?

F: No hugs

J: <trying to suppress a grin> I'll do what I can

<The two leave together and head back into the building. As the camera pulls back, we see Quick and Angie step out of the shadows>

Q: Angie, we have to make sure this little........reunion fails. Having the Quinn's on the same page is definitely NOT in our best interest

A: I wouldn't worry about it too much, those two could never stay on the same page for long

Q: Moose and Fire couldn't, because they were too much alike, their demons wouldn't allow it, but Jackie Quinn......this is different now. Get Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam and meet me in my office.

<fade>

[DrMcAwesome]

*the scene and INVISIBLE NINJA CAMERA find MAC FLASHER in his locker room and thumbing through his iPhone as he searches a song to listen to while stretching. As MAC has seemingly found his tune (“These Lights” by THE FORECAST), SANDRA FALLON pokes her head in the doorway while motioning for MAC to remove his headphones*

MAC: “Hey, Fallon.”

SANDRA *while holding out her arms and spinning*: “What do you think?”

MF: “It’s definitely a wetsuit. Gonna go surfing on your day off?”

SF *while beaming*: “Naw, brah. This is my ring getup now. I never felt all too comfortable in some of the stuff I wore earlier in my career, especially that Baywatch lifeguard suit, so I’m going back to my roots and what I know.”

MF: “And I’m guessing that you’ll have matching boots and pads.”

SF: “Don’t need ‘em, brah. Never needed those back home. This is now the Sandra Fallon you’ll see on Saturdays. Just like the Sandra you’d see back home in Malibu.”

MF: “Gotcha. I’ll be honest, blue and orange is a choice.”

SF: “Pepperdine colors, Mac. Class of 2017.”

MF: “Oh right. Go Waves and stuff, I suppose.”

*SANDRA leans around the doorway and picks up a paper bag before tossing it at MAC*

MF: “Is this my DoorDash?”

SF: “Naw. Open it.”

*MAC opens the bag, reaches inside and slowly pulls out a black and yellow wetsuit*

MF: “I … Ummmm … I’m not sure this will get much use. I can’t swim.”

SF: “We can work on that part later. You can still wear it when we team up. Good teams match, brah.”

MF: “I … Uh … I have my own look.”

*MAC points to his yellow Pittsburgh Pirates t-shirt, jeans and black Converse All-Stars on the bench beside him*

SF *with puppy-dog eyes*: “Mac, you’ve been one of the positives during my time here. It would mean a lot to me if you could do this when we team up. I even got the colors of all the Pittsburgh teams.”

MF: “I’m not sure I have the figure to make this look good.”

SF: “Brah, all I hear is you making excuses.”

MF: “Fine. I will think very hard about this.”

SF: “Good! The fabric is actually pretty flattering.”

MF *under his breath while looking at his torso*: ”I need it to be flattening.”

SF: “Stop being silly, brah. Just let it happen. Ride the wave.”

*MAC examines the wetsuit again and sighs as the scene fades*

[DrMcAwesome]

OOWF Saturday Slam – July 1, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• Lindsay McAllister vs. Ona Jones
“Just a Girl” strums out on the PA as Lindsay steps out to a loud ovation. The energized Australian bounds to the ring, already with Ona inside. The retro-inspired rookie stretches with the top rope as Lindsay enters. OOWF official Angelo Barros inspects both wrestlers for foreign objects, finding a set of brass knuckles in Ona’s kneepad. Despite Ona’s protests, Barros discards the illegal object and signals for the bell. Ona charges, but is easily sidestepped by Lindsay, who delivers a German suplex and then quickly scales the ropes to hit a just-standing Ona with a springboard back elbow. That gets 2 as Ona tries to jerk Lindsay down by her hair. Lindsay stands her ground, waving her index finger back and forth before delivering a chop just below Ona’s throat, freeing Lindsay’s hair and sending the rookie backwards. Lindsay stays on the attack, delivering a few more chops to Ona in the corner before hitting a running bulldog.

Razz: “Lindsay McAllister is looking great! I’m not sure I get this new attitude of hers, but at least for tonight she is showing that she hasn’t lost a step!”
Russ: “Ona Jones is a capable rookie, no doubt, but if this is still the same Lindsay that we all remember, this is a light workout.”

Ona staggers to her feet before getting scooped up by Lindsay. Ona rakes Lindsay’s eyes, escaping a presumed Aussie Attack, and clips her knee for good measure. With Lindsay writhing on the mat, Ona locks on a stepover toehold, torquing the tender knee and almost getting a surprise submission before Lindsay is able to use her free leg to boot Ona away. Lindsay pops up, favoring her knee just a bit as Ona is able to snap Lindsay to the ground by her hair and cinch in a headlock while Barros chides Ona for using the hair to gain an advantage. Lindsay is able o wrestle her way to the advantage, grappling Ona into a small package that gets 2. Ona is first to her feet, but Lindsay shoots a double-leg takedown and flips over Ona into a pinning position that gets 2. As the two get up almost at the same time, Ona tries for the eyes again, only for Lindsay to block and nail a booming standing headbutt that knocks Ona loopy. Lindsay is able to connect on an Aussie Attack this time with zero resistance. The decision is academic, but Barros still counts 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 5:55), Lindsay McAllister!

Afterward, Matt Folz emerges from the back to congratulate Lindsay as her wife Jennifer Bristow joins the party with Lindsay also receiving adoration from the fans in OOWF Arena.

• Alexander Darling vs. Jeff Mangyuniku
“King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander Darling, who cannot be bothered to acknowledge the fan response to his presence. As Alexander rolls under the bottom rope and then takes a seat on the top turnbuckle, “King of the Clouds” brings out Jeff Mangyuniku, who quickly makes his way to the ring, taking off his ring jacket before entering between the ropes. With Davis Hightower as the arbiter, the bell rings with Jeff trying to feel out Alexander, staying just out of reach, but tossing a few open-handed jabs that almost connect with Alexander’s chin. Jeff jabs in again, but gets caught and arm-dragged to the mat. Jeff gets up since Alexander doesn’t follow through. The two lock up with Jeff backing Alexander to a corner. Hightower requests a clean break and gets it from Jeff, but not Alexander who drills Jeff with a right cross. Hightower admonishes Alexander, who doesn’t seem all that concerned. An infuriated Jeff nails the distracted Alexander with a flying forearm that sends him out of the ring. Jeff follows as the two engage in a ringside brawl that gets Hightower’s count to 8 before Jeff rolls in and rolls back out to continue the fight. Alexander takes that brief breather to load something in his fist and blast Jeff in the throat with whatever was in his hand. Jeff now coughing for air tries to climb back into the ring, but is cut off by Alexander who pulls him down face first onto the apron. Alexander does get in the ring, however, and flips off a few very vocal ringside fans while waiting for Jeff. As Jeff slowly gets to his feet on the apron, Alexander grabs him by the head, spins him around and cinches in a dragon sleeper with Jeff’s back arching over the top rope. With Jeff quickly fading, Hightower begins a count to 5 that Alexander never even acknowledges. Hightower calls for the bell and then tries to break up the hold that Alexander isn’t interested in releasing any time soon.

Your winner (disqualification, 4:39), Jeff Mangyuniku!

Afterward, Alexander does release the hold leaving Jeff in a heap on the apron before he slowly falls to the floor. As Alexander shrugs and walks to the back, not even arguing with Hightower, AEW tag team The Young Bucks hop over the railing and attack Jeff again, hitting a series of tandem attacks before capping with a BTE Trigger that busts Jeff’s lip open. Matt and Nick then hop over the railing to avoid encountering OOWF Security with the feed showing that a bloodied Jeff is barely conscious on the ringside mats.

Russ: “What in the world did Jeff do to get attacked twice in two shows by The Young Bucks?”
Razz: “I think we need to ask about what Jeff has to do to avoid these attacks? There are two of the Bucks and only one of him. No matter how gifted Jeff is, that’s not helping him with those two.”

• The Frenemies vs. Nuke and Annie
“Hate Breeders” bellows through the arena as Nuke and Annie, who is sporting a cast on her right arm, walk to the ring. With the two in the ring, Nuke grabs the microphone from Mike Elevenbee as most in the crowd do not like that act.

Nuke: “Because the GM going through an identity crisis as to whether or not she’s a wrestler insists on booking Annie in matches, Annie was injured during training this week with a broken arm that will take an indefinite amount of time to heal. That means that Annie will be unable to compete in tonight’s match. Now I know that you’re thinking that will mean that I’ll be fighting both of The Frenemies by myself, but that’s not how we’ll do things tonight. This is now a singles match. I don’t care who. Bridget. Kylie. Make it Josie. I don’t care. Make a decision and make it fast.”

Babymetal’s “Catch Me if You Can” draws out Josie, with a microphone in hand and no Frenemy is in sight.

Josie: “Mr. Nuke. Ms. Annie. After talking with Titi Beverly in the back, we will not accept your challenge as you presented it.”
Nuke: “What gives you the right to decide? You’re an 11-year-old girl.”
Josie: “I am THE MANAGER of The Frenemies. What I say goes. Does Annie have a doctor’s excuse?”
Nuke *pointing to Annie’s arm*: “Her excuse is that it’s broken! She has seen medical professionals. If this company’s GM would do her job instead of chasing past glories, the esteemed manager of The Frenemies would have been notified of this.”
Josie: “No doctor’s excuse. No changes.”

Nuke drops his mic and backs Josie in a corner. While Josie is presenting a brave face, Nuke’s intimidation tactics seem to be working until Bridget and Kylie sprint down the ramp and into the ring to take the fight to Nuke. After about two minutes of a 2-on-1 attack, Annie gets involved swinging her cast wildly until the velcro loosens to reveal a perfectly functional arm with zero signs of damage. Annie sees the cast on the mat and scrambles to pick it up before Kylie steps on Annie’s hand. Nuke shoves Kylie, while Bridget picks up the cast and pulls out a metal plate from under the first layer of the plaster.

Razz: “That plate was to help Annie’s arm reset after that horrible injury. Why do The Frenemies hate medical science?”
Russ: “Annie’s arm looks perfectly fine to me.”
Razz: “Clearly a medical miracle thanks to that plate!”

After about another minute, Nuke and Annie take the high road while Gavin “Junior” Hale signals for the bell and counts the pair out.

Your winners (countout, :10), The Frenemies!

Afterward, Adam Jennings sneaks into the ring and starts to squabble with Bridget and Kylie. With The Frenemies distracted, Nuke and Annie return with a sneak attack aided by the discarded cast and metal plate. Nuke hits Give ‘Em the Boot to both Bridget and Kylie, in opposite corners while Annie bites and chokes whomever she chooses, all as Josie is screaming for help as Adam taunts her. Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon hear the call as Sandra drills Adam with a kick to the jaw as Mac turns Nuke around and waylays him with a series of punches and a backfist strong enough to send Nuke through the ropes. Bridget and Kylie dispose of Annie while Adam rolls away and seeks out his charges.

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Diego “Pop” Roxton
The feed joins this match as the bell echoes through the arena. Diego offers a handshake that Beverly accepts. Diego then starts a clapping rhythm to get his fans behind him as Beverly’s fans chant in tune to the clapping. Dueling “let’s go” chants follow as the two lock up to no clear advantage leading to a break. Diego offers a test of strength that the lithe Beverly accepts, despite giving up at least 75 pounds to the Bahamian strike artist. Diego gets the early edge in the finger lock, but Beverly surprisingly powers her way back up and then pulls the test to the ropes where she climbs to the top, and breaks the finger lock before snapping off a hurricanrana that puts Diego flat on his back. Beverly leans in, only for a possum-playing Diego to cradle her in a small package the gets 2. With Beverly scrambling to her feet, Diego meets her with a crescent kicks that almost turns the lights out. With Beverly on one knee, Diego approaches from behind only for Beverly to sit out and lock Diego in a Peterson Roll that gets 2.5.

Russ: “These two have quite the match going on, both almost getting quick victories from out of nowhere.”
Razz: “Partner, Beverly is one of the best at dropping the curtain early if she has the opening. Diego, at least tonight, seems to be going step for step.”

As both stand up, Diego misses a clothesline that Beverly catches behind her. After stepping Diego’s legs down, Beverly slides over his shoulders and pulls him back into a crucifix pin, getting a sudden 3 from Misato Misawa.

Your winner (pinfall, 4:46), Beverly Cambridge!

Afterward, Diego pounds the mat in frustration, but is quick offer a handshake to Beverly, who graciously accepts.

• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. The One-Notes
With Carrie and Harper standing in the ring, and serenading those who can tolerate it with their version of “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star, “Surf Wax America” interrupts with Sandra Fallon stating at the top of the ramp, waiting on her tag partner as “I Get Wet” fades in with Mac Flasher, reluctantly sporting the wetsuit that Sandra gave him, but still sporting his traditional jeans and Converse All-Stars. Mac and Sandra high-five and head to the ring, taking the fight to The One-Notes, hammering away with stereo right hands followed by Sandra unleashing dropkicks on both Carrie and Harper. With The One-Notes scuttling to the outside, Mac takes to the skies with a tope con hilo that splatters both Carrie and Harper on the barricade. As Carrie starts to come to and make her way to the apron, Sandra nails a sliding dropkick that bounces Carrie into Harper, sending both to the barricade again. Somewhere in the chaos, Mel Creech signaled for the bell. Harper gets back int the ring, absorbing Sandra’s try at a shoulder block, but completely vulnerable to a backfist from Mac that sends her reeling. Sandra stays in for her team and gives Harper zero chance to collect herself, snapping off a knee lift and then putting her in a rolling surfboard submission for three rotations before pulling Harper’s head down into a rear choke.

Carrie tries to make the save, but Mac cuts her off as Harper taps just before going unconscious.

Your winners (submission, 3:19), the team of Sandra Fallon and Mac Flasher!

Russ: “Sandra calls that the California Roll! Is this part of the ‘Malibrutality’ that she promised two weeks ago?”
Razz: “Whatever she calls it, it’s damn effective! Mac Flasher might have found a diamond in the rough with this happy-go-lucky girl.”
Russ: “She’s far from that in the ring, as we just saw … Wait. What are they doing here?”

Nuke and Annie run to the ring and blast both Mac and Sandra with chain-aided punches. Adam Jennings heads down, too, making sure to help Annie keep Mac occupied as Nuke focuses his attack on Sandra. Adam, with the help of a folding baton in his pocket, knocks Mac silly and then turns the dazed Mac so that he can see Nuke’s assault on Sandra. Nuke pulls a microphone from his pocket as Sandra can barely move, falling at each attempt to get get off the mat.

Nuke: “Flasher. You don’t get it. I’m not finished with you. Send your ex and her friend to fight your battles while you bond with some new flavor of the month, I don’t care. Just know this: Everything you touch, I will break. Everything you care about, I will ruin. You may win battles on Saturdays, I plan on winning wars.”

Nuke spikes the microphone, puts the chain on his boot and nails Sandra with Give ‘Em the Boot, knocking the Californian out cold and sprawled on her back. Adam releases Mac after Nuke exits the ring, prompting Mac to check on Sandra in a panic while waving for help from the back.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Sean Franklin vs. Zed
Awesome Bill takes the early advantage, guns blazing with lariats and suplexes against Zed and Sean. Awesome Bill goes on the Redneck Rampage against Zed, but just as he’s about to start stomping a mud hole in Zed, Sean scurries in from behind and stops Bill in his tracks with a German Suplex.

Russ: “We know Zed and Sean had nothing to do with what has happened to Justin Sane and Ellie May …”
Razz: “ … I mean, we don’t *know* that.”
Russ: “Regardless, it appears Awesome Bill from Dawsonville is going to take out his frustrations on anything that moves.”

Bill rolls out of the ring and convenes with Pete Quick while Zed and Sean trade blows. Zed turns up the pace, to the surprise and excitement of the audience, eventually dropping Sean with a sling blade and going to the top rope. He flies off the turnbuckle with an elbow drop, then locks on a Figure Four to the delight of the Asheville crowd, but Bill re-enters the ring to intervene.

Bill once again takes full control, as Zed goes tumbling to ringside after a massive suplex. As BRICK~! checks in on his client, Sean tries to regain his footing, he is shot into the ropes and takes a boot to the face on the way back.

Sean rolls out of the ring, and Zed pulls him aside as they stand near the barricade. Bill beckons them to get in the ring, but Zed whispers in Sean’s ear. Sean offers a nod, seemingly acknowledging what Zed is saying, and then they rush the ring together, swinging away on Bill.

After the double-team, they work together to suplex Bill. They stand Bill back up, and Sean hits another suplex for good measure before Zed collects him and hits Moment of Zed.

Russ: “Great, so they’ve worked together to slow down Bill. Now what?”
Razz: “They just became the dogs that caught the car, I think, Russ!”

They can’t help but share a smirk before rushing towards each other, firing off punches. Sean starts to back up Zed against the ropes, but Zed lands an elbow to buy some space and then flattens Sean with a DDT. Bill is getting back to his feet at this point, but Zed spots it and drops him with Raise Up.

Zed looks around, sees both men down, and gestures to the crowd. Back he goes to the top rope, and this time it’s clear he’s looking for The Answer on the downed Awesome Bill. However, a woozy Sean is using the ropes for leverage to get back to his feet and unknowingly upsets Zed’s balance. Zed spills to ringside, landing awkwardly on BRICK~!.

Sean sees this unfold out of the corner of his eye and scrambles to the ropes, looking on in shock. BRICK~! starts yelling at Sean, who pleads for his innocence and asks if Zed’s alright. While the conversation is unfolding, Bill rolls up Sean, one, two, THREE!

Your winner (14:36; pinfall), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!

Awesome Bill and Pete Quick make a hasty retreat up the ramp while celebrating the win, while Zed gets back to his feet and tries to make peace between BRICK~! and Sean. BRICK~! is not interested in any such peace, but Zed offers a pat on the shoulder to Sean as they part ways, who shakes his head in disgust with himself.

The feed cuts to the OOWF Junior Executive Office where Interim GM Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox is tending to his younger brother Jeff Mangyuniku. The door swings open to show Mac Flasher, with a barely conscious Sandra Fallon leaning on his shoulder, in the doorway.

Shizuru-Mune: “Mac, I’m pretty busy right now. I’ve got my brother bleeding all over this carpet.”
Mac: “Nuke. Cage. Make. It. Happen. Next. Show.”
Shizuru-Mune: “Mac. I will take it under consideration.”
Mac: “Nuke. Cage. Make. It. Happen. Next. Show.”
Shizuru-Mune: “Yes. You already established that.”
Mac: “I will end him.”
Shizuru-Mune: “That’s nice. Thank you, Mac. Just leave if you aren’t going to help with Jeff.”

Mac departs, but not before slamming the door and causing Jeff to wince. 

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Rory Thomas
“Dream On” by Aerosmith plays with Rory stepping out onto the ramp and egging a louder response from those in attendance. With Rory seemingly validated by the reaction, he strides with a bounce toward the ring, glad-handing the fans along the rails. Just as he’s about to turn toward the ringside stairs, a figure in a black hooded sweatshirt reaches out and grabs his shoulder. Before Rory can fully turn around, the figure coldcocks the rookie, hops over the rail and starts a post-heavy beatdown. With Rory now busted open, the figure doffs the hood to reveal Alexander Darling, much to the chagrin of everyone.

Russ: “Damn it, Alexander! That kid was going to have the biggest match of his life and you just ruined it!”
Razz: “Alex never acts without a plan and he’ll never have a plan without proudly sharing it. I think we’ll need to listen to him if he chooses to speak here.”

Alexander isn’t much for talking, however, continuing his assault with a chair to the side of Rory’s face. A few preliminary wrestlers spill out from the back with OOWF officials and Lexie Darling following the initial wave. Finally, Alexander is pulled off of the helpless Rory with Lexie getting a shove in on her brother with a lot of yelling that Alexander casually ignores. As officials tend to Rory, the wrestlers form a wall to prevent a further attack from Alexander who slowly backs to the top of the ramp and pulls a microphone from the pouch of his sweatshirt.

Alexander: “Rory. That championship that you thought you were going to compete for tonight has a legacy that maybe you don’t understand. Some of the all-time greats in this sport held that title. Far more all-time greats never even got close. Two weeks ago you just decided to show up and ask my sister for an opportunity to make a name at the expense of a Darling. What have you done in this company to even share the same oxygen as a Darling? Five times, I battled some of the best to ever lace a pair of boots and five times, I proved that I was THE best to do it in that ring. Are you aware that Lexie defeated ME for that championship, already validating her as one of the all-time best. Don’t get me wrong, Lexie has autonomy to accept whatever challenges come her way, but I will not stand by and watch her dull the shine of that championship by facing those who we all know are unworthy of even having their name beside a Darling’s name on the match sheet. That championship is THE legacy of The Darling Brand. All can apply, few will be accepted as worthy contenders.”

Alexander tosses the microphone over his shoulder as Lexie has more than a few cross words for her brother, who departs without paying her any mind.

• Eight-person tag: The Royal Guard, Angie Delpetro and “King” Pete Quick vs. The Woodsmen and Shokan Dojo (PORK and Katie Bardoor)
Six of the eight combatants are in the ring as The Woodsmen are noticeably absent, leaving Katie and PORK in a 4-on-2 situation. As PORK keeps looking toward the entranceway, Katie urges Davis Hightower to ring the bell anyway. He does, but before any action can commence, Pete drops out of the ring and heads to the announce table, leaving Angie, Liam and Nigel to fight Katie and PORK.

Russ: “Oh God, why are you here?”
Pete: “Look. For those two oafs, any two of us would run rings around them. I’m just trying to help Jackie Quinn’s buddies out. It’s clear that those overgrown Boy Scouts got the hint from two weeks ago and no-showed this match. Maybe those two grew brains and are getting themselves far away from Jackie and his brand of evil.”
Russ: “The Woodsmen are two of the bravest, loyal and most cunning wrestlers in OOWF. To imply that they are cowards is silly.”
Pete: “Are Hunter and Dakota here now? Exactly.”

Katie doesn’t wait for her opponents to cross who goes first, grabbing Angie and unloading with at least a dozen body shots that has Angie coughing in the corner until Nigel steps in between the two. Katie and Nigel slug it out while PORK dashes in to cut off Liam. Angie shakes the cobwebs and rakes PORK’s eyes, giving Liam the advantage as he scoops the big man in the air with ease and tosses him into Katie, squashing her in the corner. With no regard for Hightower’s attempts to keep order, Nigel, Liam and Angie stay on the offensive.

Pete: “Guys. I’d love to stay and offer expert insight, but my team is clearly in trouble. I gotta go.”

Pete tosses off his headset and rolls into the ring, stepping on PORK’s throat while The Royal Guard hoist Katie overhead and drop her face first onto the mat. Angie loads up the chloroform rag when “I’m The Mountie” plays, leading to the most confused pop in ages, but also producing The Woodsmen who have eschewed their traditional camping garb to something closer in appearance to the uniform of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Hunter and Dakota also have cattle prods in tow as they run to the ring to even the odds as Pete immediately calls his group to its corner while Hunter and Dakota join PORK and Katie in the standoff.

Russ: “Did Hunter and Dakota finally find Jacques Rougeau?”
Razz: “If they didn’t find Jacques, they found his prop closet.”

As all eight combatants stand off, Hunter and Dakota establish distance with the cattle prods, but aren’t too eager to use them. Katie, on the other hand, would love to as she grabs the shock stick from Dakota and drills Angie and Liam with the blunt end of it before trying to electrocute Pete. Nigel dives in front of Pete and takes the voltage as Hightower has seen enough.

Your winners (disqualification, 10:07), the team of The Royal Guard, Angie Delpetro and “King” Pete Quick.

Afterward, the brawl seems to have zero end in sight with neither side gaining much ground, even with the cattle prods in play. Eventually Pete calls off his side as they depart, leaving an unsatisfying end to the fisticuffs, though it does lead to a very frustrated Katie getting into a shouting match with Hunter over The Woodsmen’s tardiness and lack of seriousness. PORK and Dakota rush in to play peacemaker, but the two with the cattle prods just aren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment.

• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing
"Symphony of Destruction" plays and Jack Quinn makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. We see several "Justice for Justin" and "Prayers For Ellie May" signs. Jack gets into the ring and paces like a man possessed. The bell rings, but instead of an opponent, Quick's music plays and he and Angie come out to the top of the ramp, flanked by Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam.

Pete: “Jackie Quinn, your day of reckoning is here. I will give you ONE LAST CHANCE to do this the easy way. You surrender all rights to Moosehead Jack and leave MY ring right now, and I will allow you to pass, unharmed, so you can live out your life in retirement on your porch in whatever backwater town you choose to live in. However, if you choose to do this the hard way......well, let's just say, if I were a betting man, I most certainly would not bet on you.”

Jack stands defiantly in the middle of the ring and flips Quick the double bird.

Pete: “Such a pity. Mr. Quinn, allow me to introduce you to your opponent …”

Jack turns around and a large man CRUSHES his skull with a chair! Jack crumples to the mat, possibly out cold.

Russ: “THAT'S JACOB FATU!”
Razz: “WHAT THE HELL IS JACOB FATU DOING IN THE OOWF ARENA RUSS?”

The referee immediately turns and calls for the bell - after all this match is under Onslaught rules.

Pete: “Ah ah ah … Referee, I don't think you will want to do that. You see, it is no surprise that our ‘illustrious’ GM failed to read the fine print in the contract. You see, Mr. QUINN is to contest this match under Onslaught rules, Mr. Fatu is under no such constraints. Mr. Referee … you may proceed.”

Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and superkicks him in the throat. The move sends Jack stumbling back into the corner where he falls to the mat, Fatu charges into the corner and hits Jack with a hip attack to the face, then drags him to the middle of the ring and climbs the corner and hits a diving headbutt. Fatu covers, but Jack kicks out at two.

Russ: “How the HELL did he kick out of that?”
Razz: “I have never seen a chair shot that hard in my life Russ, makes the shot JBL took from Meanie look like a love tap!”
Russ: “You have to respect the toughness of Jack Quinn, even though he completely lacks any morals or sense of right or wrong!”

Fatu pulls Jack up and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a pop up Samoan drop, then lifts him again and traps his arms and repeatedly slams him in the face with headbutts. Jack slumps to his knees and Fatu charges off the ropes and annihilates him with a shining wizard. Fatu covers again, but Jack gets his foot on the bottom rope just before the three count.

Jack Quinn has used his first rope break

Fatu pulls Jack up and launches him over the top rope to the floor. As Jack tries to get to his feet, Jacob pulls a table from under the ring and lays it on the guardrail. Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and whips him toward the table, but Jack somehow runs up the table, and drops to the floor in the crowd, as Fatu gives chase, Jack pulls down on the table, causing the other end to go up and clip Fatu on the jaw! Jacob staggers in pain, Jack jumps onto the guardrail and leaps at Fatu dropping him to the floor and raining punches down on him. Jack notices the referee is almost at twenty so he rolls in and breaks the count, then goes back out and pulls Fatu up onto the apron, lifts him onto his shoulders and hits a GTS. Fatu takes the move and holds onto the ropes, teetering just above the table that remains propped against the guardrail, but Jack kicks him in the gut, and DROPS him with a DDT on the apron! Fatu's head bounces off the apron and he falls to the floor.

Razz: “The apron is the hardest part of the ring!”
Russ: “I think that would be the post …”
Razz: “IT'S THE APRON!”

Jack rolls Fatu into the ring and covers but Fatu kicks out at two. Jack pulls Fatu to his feet and peppers him with sforearms to the side of the head, then grabs him and hits a t-bone suplex that sends Fatu crashing into the corner. Jack grabs Fatu's arms and puts his face against the bottom turnbuckle and hits REPEATED CURBSTOMPS into the turnbuckle! The referee finally forces a break and gives Jack a warning

Jack Quinn has used his first referee warning

Jack pulls Fatu to the center of the ring and covers, but once again Fatu kicks out at two. Jack pulls Fatu up and lifts him for a suplex, but Fatu slips over his shoulder, lands on his feet, spins Jack around and hits the ASIATIC SPIKE! Jack drops like he's been shot, Fatu does a standing moonsault on Jack and covers, but once again, Jack somehow gets his foot on the bottom rope just before three!

Jack Quinn has used his second rope break

Fatu pulls Jack up and shoves him into the corner. Jack is bleeding profusely from the chair shot and is quickly losing strength. Fatu charges in and hits a splash and Jack takes a few steps and falls face first onto the mat. We see Quick look very pleased, he tells Fatu "FINISH HIM!" Fatu pulls Jack to his feet and hits a FATU DRIVER (Steiner Screwdriver> then goes to the top rope and tries a big splash, but MISSES!

Jack fires up and gets to his feet and connects with a Randy Orton punt to the side of Fatu's head. Jack whips Fatu into the corner and flies in and connects with a high knee to the face, then pulls a dazed Fatu from the corner and DRIVES him to the mat with a backdrop driver!

Russ: “It seems like SOMETHING has lit a fire under Jack Quinn's ass!”
Razz: “This is a man possessed!”

Jack moves back to the corner and stares at Quick and waits for Fatu to get to his feet, as he does Jack KILLS him with a Buisaku knee! Jack follows that with a TIGER DRIVER, and immediately locks Fatu in the ji-endo all while glaring at Quick! Jack cinches the move in as hard as he can, Fatu tries to get to the ropes but he cannot. Fatu goes limp, the referee checks his arm, it drops three times and he calls for the bell!

Your winner (pinfall, 17:39), Jack Quinn!

Jack breaks the hold and throws Fatu out of the ring to the floor. Quick makes a motion to Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam and they go to ringside and help Fatu to his feet and to the back. The whole time Jack is standing on the middle turnbuckle glaring at Quick holding up one finger "that's one you son of a bitch!" Quick snarls and he and Angie head to the back as Mr. Liam, Mr. Nigel and Jacob Fatu pass by.

Russ: “Another great episode of ‘Saturday Slam’ is in the books! Tune in two weeks from tonight for another action-packed card on OOWF.tv, free for only $6.66 per month. For Razz, I’m Russ … Wait a minute. This wasn’t on the match sheet. It’s Brynn, from The Battling Baristas.”

• Unplanned bonus match: Brynn vs. ?????
One half of the Battling Baristas, Brynn, enters the arena and comes down the ramp for a surprise introduction match. She poses around the ring and waits … and waits ... and waits. Hands on her hips, she shakes her head and pantomimes her disbelief that she'd be treated this way.

Suddenly the lights dim, and a familiar guitar riff starts. As The Cult's full band kicks in, Firewoman appears amid the flame pots. Less energetic than usual, and totally focused on her first live match in several years, she comes down the ramp and enters the ring. Jack Quinn appears at the corner from elsewhere in the ring. Brynn nods her head with confidence. Angelo Barros gives the directions and calls for the bell.

Fire seems a little hesitant at first, so Brynn initiates the opening lock up. General back and forths and reversals and such. Brynn's offense has Fire a bit on her toes as she's getting her feet under her, and the ring rust may be showing a bit. Brynn trips Fire up and rolls her into a small package but Fire kicks out. Before she can recover, Brynn grabs an arm and applies the stretch, occasionally elbowing Fire into her ribs. Those are PROBABLY healed up by now, but who knows? Brynn twists Fire's arm the other way, but makes the rookie mistake of not controlling the rest of the body. Fire is able to flip over and back and loosens Brynn's grip enough that Fire pulls away. Brynn is trying to get to her feet but Fire is having none of that and knocks her back with a quick kick to the side of the head. Fire runs the ropes and goes for a Firesault, but Brynn rolls away. Fortunately Fire sees it just in time and lands on her feet. Brynn grabs an arm and whips Fire into the corner … or tries to at least. Fire reverses it, and Brynn eats a big boot as she rebounds from the corner. She turns to recover, but Fire is on...well, on fire now. She points to the sky and gets Brynn with a Really Good Davin Cutter. Jack is shouting for the pin, but Fire decides against it or just doesn't hear him. She gets Brynn's arms behind her back, and NOW looks around to the crowd that is on its feet. She waits … And then FIRESTOMP! Brynn's head bounces off the mat and NOW Fire goes for the pin. One, two. THREE!!

Your winner (pinfall, 4:57), Firewoman!

Jack rolls in and grabs Fire's arm to raise it, but Fire pulls away and grabs the microphone.

Firewoman: “You know, if Simone Biles can go ahead and try for another Olympic run, I can certainly come out of retirement to kick some AEW ass.”

Cheers from the crowd and from Jack.

Firewoman: “Now, I am looking forward to the next few weeks of training and tune up matches, but as far as my ex-fiance goes, and I KNOW you're watching Chris ... I am MORE than happy to meet you in the ring and show YOU what I've learned WITHOUT you. And this time it's you and me. No brother, no friend, no lover to wrestle in my place....ME~! You may think you're ready...but you're not. And that totally sparkles with me. So what do you say, Chris? Let's dance.”

Fire drops the microphone and she and Jack head to the back to close the show for real.

Razz: “What an amazing show. For Russ, I'm Razz. Thank you all for joining us, we'll see you all in two weeks.”

Just before we fade out, "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" plays. Matt Folz makes his way to the ring in his gear, holding his son in his hands and his wife beside him.

Russ: “Well we might not be done yet. There were rumors that Matt might have a match planned for tonight, maybe this is it.”

Matt shows his son around the ring and we see him saying, "This is where Daddy used to work." He then hands his son to his wife, grabs a microphone and smiles.

Matt: “Ladies and Gentlemen this is a 30-minute six-person Ironperson Match.”

Razz: “Wow!”

Matt: “Introducing the captain of team number one. Accompanied by his wife Jaime and his son Kenneth Laverne Folz. One of only two wrestlers in the history of this company to win 3 Grand Slams. The ONLY wrestler in the history of this company to win the Invitational twice. One half of the longest reigning Tag Team Champions in OOWF History. Standing 6'5 and weighing...well, I've been enjoying retirement a bit so let's say 250 pounds. Hailing from the greatest city in the world Green Bay Wisconsin MATT FOLZ! And now for my first partner …”

"Fifty Goddamn Skeleton Warriors" by Deathmole starts to play.

Matt: “From Duluth Minnesota, 5'11 and weighing in at 330 pounds. Also an OOWF Grand Slam Champion, The other Half of the longest reigning Tag Team Champions in OOWF History and an OOWF Hall of Famer. STAN FULTON!”

Stan makes his way to the ring and gives Matt a big Manly Hug of Mutual Respect, then gives Jaime a huge hug and fist bumps his Godson. Matt smiles before continuing.

Matt: “Let's see... I'm here. Jaime's here. Stan's here. Huh... I wonder who's missing?”

"Hero" by Skillet begins to play as both Matt and Stan smile huge.

Matt: “One of the greatest wrestlers I've ever been in the ring with. A Grand Slam Champion, One of the longest reigning Intercontinental Champions ever and more importantly one of Stan, Jaime and I's best friends. 5'9, 180 pounds from Nayoga Japan MAI MUYO!!”

Mai gets in the ring and of course gives Jaime a long sisterly like hug, then hugs K.L, Stan and Matt.

Matt: “That completes team number one. Now to start team number two.”

"Bloodstains" by Agent Orange plays.

Matt: “One of the best high flyers not just in the history of this company but in the history of this sport. But you don't get to be a Grand Slam Champion and a Hall of Famer by just high flying alone, don't overlook his technical chops. The inventor of the Monsterbull shooter, the only man who once convinced me to sky dive. 6'3, 220 pounds from San Diego California TOMMY WILDER!”

Tommy jumps over the ropes with a smile as "Stompa" by Serena Rider begins to play.

Matt: “This might be the only woman who can tame this wild man.” *Tommy laughs and shakes his head playfully* “As of right now, she is the last wrestler in this company to win the Grand Slam. She inherited her talents, her personality and her attitude from her late grandmother and from her father. 6'1, 190 pounds from Riohaca Columbia MIRANDA WILLIAMS!”

Miranda gets in the ring, kisses her husband and shakes hands with everyone else in the ring. Then Matt hands her the microphone.

Miranda: “When Matt proposed this match, I told him that I insisted on being able to announce Tommy and I's partner. People have called him a lot of things: The Greatest Wrestler of All Time, The heart and soul of the OOWF, The Elephant Whisperer, Hall of Famer, his best friend affectionately constantly referred to him as ‘That Goofy Canadian Bastard.’ Me? Well I always just called him Dad. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce not only the greatest wrestler I know but also the best father a woman could ever ask for. From Cambridge, Ontario, Canada standing 6'2 and weighing 235 pounds L.D WILLIAMS!!!”

"Jekyll & Hyde" by Petra plays and L.D steps out from behind the curtain to a thunderous standing ovation. He looks almost overcome with emotion as he makes his way to the ring. He hugs his daughter and his son in law, and shakes hands with all his opponents.

The crowd is going absolutely crazy as Matt and L.D start- each with huge smiles on their faces. The two stand in the center of the ring and for the first few minutes put on a great display of chain wrestling, completely clean and getting the crowd on their feet. Matt with a double leg takedown and then he grabs L.D's legs and bridges for 2. L.D reverses to a 2 count of his own, Matt reverses that for another 2 count. Both men get back to their feet and grin at each other. Another tie up and Matt rocks the Hall of Famer with a European Uppercut. Matt with an Irish Whip and a big lariat. He tries early for an Angle Slam, L.D escapes and tries to set up a Canadian Destroyer, Matt escapes that and tries a Folzmission, L.D elbows out of that and both grin again as they're stalemated in the ring. Matt tags out to Mai, L.D tags out to Miranda.

They lock up and Mai snaps off an armdrag, hanging on and transitioning into an armbar. Miranda works her way to her feet and tries to hiptoss out of it, but Mai blocks and tries to reverse. Miranda blocks that and hits a modified hiptoss that drops Mai in a backbreaker across her knee. Miranda pulls Mai to her feet, backs her to the ropes, and sends her across the ring. Mai ducks a clothesline and comes back with a flying forearm. She rolls to her feet and goes back to the ropes, sliding into Miranda with a dropkick as she sits up. Mai pulls Miranda to her feet and backs her into the corner. She unloads with a series of chops and hits an Irish whip. Miranda reverses, sending Mai into the corner. Mai springs to the middle turnbuckle and leaps off with a back elbow, but Miranda snags her out of the air and drives her to the mat with a German suplex. She bridges, but Mai rolls a shoulder at two. Both ladies are up and Mai blocks a forearm, firing back with several of her own. She doubles Miranda over with a knee to the midsection and snaps her over with a suplex. Mai heads up top and leaps with a Savior Splash but Miranda moves out of the way. Miranda picks up a dazed Mai and hits the Desecrator. Miranda covers and gets the first fall of the match.

Miranda Williams over Mai Muyo, Team Williams leads 1-0

After the 15 second rest period, Mai tags in Stan and Miranda tags in Tommy. They move in to lock up, and Stan buries a knee in Wilder’s midsection. He whips him hard into the corner and charges, but Wilder moves out of the way. Stan manages to stop himself before he hits the corner, but a kick to the head from Wilder slams his face into the top turnbuckle. Wilder hooks Stan from behind and looks to end it early with the Crash and Burn, but Stan grabs the ropes to block. Stan swings a back elbow but Wilder ducks. Wilder spins Stan around and hits a leg lariat. Tommy ascends to the ropes and leaps off with the Air Walk. Tommy covers 1..2..3.

Tommy Wilder over Stan Fulton, Team Williams leads 2-0

Stan slams his hand on the mat in frustration and refuses to tag out. Tommy tags in L.D. The two former Saints smile at one another before locking up. Stan puts L.D in a head lock, but L.D grabs his arm and reverses it into a hammer lock. Fulton snarls in pain and quickly moves to the ropes to force a break. L.D releases the hold. Another lock up and this time L.D slips behind Fulton and lands several kicks to Fulton’s hamstrings, Fulton absorbs several shots, then turns around and grabs L.D and SLAMS him between the eyes with a headbutt! L.D staggers and Fulton grabs him again and lands a BIONIC ELBOW right between the eyes! L.D falls to his knees and grabs his face in pain, Fulton bounds off the ropes and destroys L.D with a falling clothesline. Stan covers, but L.D kicks out at two. Stan heads to the second rope and attempts the Drop Line, but L.D moves out of the way and tags in Miranda. Miranda nails Stan with several strong style kicks before tagging in Tommy and the two hit an impressive double brainbuster on the big man. Tommy heads up top and tries a cross body, but Stan plants him with a powerslam. Stan covers and gets the 3.

Stan Fulton over Tommy Wilder, Team Williams leads 2-1

Stan tags in Matt as Tommy tags in Miranda. Miranda takes Matt over with an arm drag. Matt smiles and quickly gets back to his feet. They tie up, and this time Matt takes Miranda over with an arm drag. Miranda gets to her feet, they lock up again and this time Matt slips behind and takes Miranda down and applies a hammerlock. Miranda gets back to her feet and leverages Matt completely out of the ring. Before Matt can catch his breath, Miranda leaps over the top rope and connects with a tope. Miranda rolls Matt back in and then leaps over the ropes with a senton that gets 2. Miranda shoots Matt off the ropes and hits a Superkick. That gets another 2 count. Miranda tries for a German Suplex, but Matt reverses and hits one of his own. Matt with a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Matt picks Miranda up and leads her over to the corner. Matt tags in Mai, who heads to the second rope and MJM Inc hit a Spike Piledriver. Mai covers and gets the fall.

Mai Muyo over Miranda Williams, tied 2-2

Mai tags Matt back in while Miranda tags in Tommy. Tommy leaps over the top rope and nails Matt with a flying forearm. Tommy whips Matt into the ropes and hits a beautiful spinning heel kick. Tommy with a running kneelift and then a swinging neckbreaker. He heads up top and looks for the Air Walk, but Matt moves out of the way and Tommy comes crashing down awkwardly on his leg. Matt, Stan and Mai spend the next few minutes focusing on the high flyer's knee and ankle. Matt locks in the Ankle Lock but Tommy just barely makes the ropes. Matt continues to work on Tommy's leg, but Tommy catches him out of nowhere with an Enziguri. Tommy makes it to his corner and tags in L.D. L.D grabs a still stunned Matt and hits the Canadian Destroyer. 1...2...3

L.D Williams over Matt Folz, Team Williams leads 3-2

L.D tries to press his advantage, covering a still groggy Matt but Matt kicks out at two. With the time limit running down, we're right back where we started. Two of the best technical wrestlers in the history of the industry going at it. L.D goes for a brainbuster but Matt escapes and reverses to a release German Suplex that sends L.D flying halfway across the ring. Matt with a Mr Perfect like neck snap and then he drops an elbow on the back of L.D's head. Brainbuster gets 2. Matt scoops up L.D and hits an Angle Slam! He covers, 1...2....L.D kicks out at 2.999999. Matt with a running powerslam and he heads up top to hit a frog splash. Again L.D rolls his shoulder JUUUUUUST before the 3 count. Matt's clearly frustrated now but also shaking his head in admiration as he picks L.D up. Matt picks up L.D but L.D with a shoulder to the gut. L.D tries for another Canadian Destroyer but Matt slips out and applies the Folzmission! The time limit starts to run down inside 30 seconds as Matt leans back takes L.D to the mat applying the body scissors. L.D struggles but eventually taps.

Matt Folz over L.D Williams, tied at 3-3

Before either man can get back to his feet, the time limit expires.

Ladies and gentlemen, this match has gone the full 30 minutes, and will be ruled a draw. 

All six competitors exchange hugs as the decision is announced. Stank, Firewoman and Jack Quinn all come from the back with huge smiles on their faces and slide into the ring to hug their fellow Saints.

Russ: “What a way to end the show, and maybe the career of all six competitors. For Razz, I'm Russ. Have a great night everyone and we'll see you in two weeks.”
Razz: “Are we done for real this time? Can I go home?”