PHWF 3 (continued)
Mar 1, 2007 3:05:43 GMT -5
Post by Andy on Mar 1, 2007 3:05:43 GMT -5
JF- NEXT! We have the evil Moosehead Jack facing the equally evil, yet somehow adored Chris Alt is what is sure to be an exibition in brutality. On any other day this match could headline a pay-per-view. These two men are legends in their own time!
DE- I've met one of them before. He's taller in person.
JF- Which one?
DE- The tall one.
Chris Alt vs. Moosehead Jack
PHWF Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match
Chris Alt makes his way to the ring first, stopping to speak to a few fans along the way. Moosehead Jack’s music hits and he comes to the top of the ramp, but he refuses to move further. He’s demanding a mic.
MHJ: “Punisher, get your ass out here! I’m not taking another step until you guarantee that Capslock is under guard in his locker room.”
After a few moments, Punisher comes through the curtain and has words with Jack, who then limps slowly to the ring. He slides under the ropes and the referee calls for the bell.
They lock up and Alt backs Jack into the corner. The referee demands a break and Alt complies, giving Jack the opportunity to slip in an eye poke. They lock up again and Alt grabs a hammerlock. Jack reverses and delivers several shots to the back of Alt’s head. Alt reverses into an armdrag. Jack gets up and walks into a second armdrag, then gets up and eats a dropkick. Jack falls back against the ropes and Alt comes of the opposite side, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the ropes to the outside.
Alt is up first and moves in, but Jack hits a low blow hard enough to lift Alt off the ground, then grabs Alt’s tights and pulls him face-first into the ringpost. Jack drives several forearms into Alt’s back, and hits an inverted DDT.
The referee forces Jack back into the ring and starts the count. Alt slides back in at seven, and Jack stomps away. The referee interjects himself again and gets shoved away. Jack moves in and Alt drives his fist into Jacks midsection and nails a DDT. He tosses Jack to the corner and follows with a stinger splash. Alt tosses Jack to the opposite corner and attempts another splash, but Jack pulls the referee in the way. A slow smile spreads across Jack’s face as the referee collapses.
Alt attacks, wailing away on Jack with punches and kicks. Jack reels, then drops to the mat and rolls outside. He grabs a chair, but is leveled by a plancha from Alt. Alt is up first and attempts an irish whip, but Jack reverses and sends Alt into the ringsteps. Jack grabs Alt by the hair and drives his face into the steps repeatedly until blood starts to flow. Jack pulls him up and sets up a DDT, but Alt reverses into a northern lights suplex that drops Jack on the steps.
Both men slowly get to their feet. They exchange punches, with Jack getting the advantage. He picks up the chair but Alt dropkicks it into his face. Jack comes up bleeding. Another exchange of punches ends when Alt drives his shoulder into Jack’s midsection and slams him into the railing. With Jack stunned, Alt rolls him back into the ring. Slingshot legdrop, and Alt covers, but the referee is still down. Alt makes a cardinal mistake and goes to check on him, allowing Jack to recover and attack.
Jack is in his sadistic glory, and beats the hell out of Alt, focusing on the gash on his forehead and tearing at it with his fingers and even his teeth. The referee stirs at one point, but Jack body slams Alt across him and puts him back down. Alt attempts a comeback with a few right hands, but Jack drives Alt’s head into an exposed turnbuckle to put an end to that.
Jack scrapes Alt off the mat and sets up the Heart Punch, but Alt side-steps, pulls Jack in, and hits a sick DDT. Alt kips up and grabs Jack’s legs, falling back and propelling Jack face-first into the exposed turnbuckle Jack stumbles back and Alt grabs him and nails the Spinal Contusion. Alt looks around and sees the referee is sitting up so he makes the cover and the ref drags himself over to count. One…Two…Thr – Jack rolls a shoulder!!
Alt is incensed. He picks Jack up and signals for the Spinal Contusion again, but then stops in shakes his head. He grabs Jack’s arm, twists it over his head, and levels him with a Heart Punch! Alt collapse on Jack and this time Jack can’t kick out before the three.
Winner, in 36:43, Chris Alt.
JF- Oh my God! At PHWF 4 Chris Alt will face Chris Cole for the PHWF Heavyweight Championship! That is a match I want to see! These men know each other well, but what will happen when they lock up LIVE on PHWF!?
DE- I bet Chris will win.
JF- You could be right, Don.
DE- We'll see you next time, GOODNIGHT!
JF- There's actually another match.
DE- IS THERE!? Fuckin' sweet! I hope there's midgets!
JF- No...just wrestlers, but there's six of them. All fighting for one thing and one thing only: the PHWF N-Sanity Championship. Only the most insane wrestlers can even dare to compete in this match. Over the ring is a giant N made of cables where the N-Sanity Title will be hung. The first man to grab it, will become our first N-Sanity Champion!
DE- Just climb up and grab the belt? You don't even have to pin anybody? Lame.
JF- Here's a Mark MacGuire rookie card. Go nuts.
DE- MINT CONDITION! Only 300 of these Fleer Big Mac rookie cards were ever made, and if you ACT NOW...
JF- Let's go down to the ring.
Ultimate N match for the N-Sanity Championship
Concrete TG vs. Viet Cong Viper vs. The Knife vs. Kenji vs. S-Y-B vs. Ryan Tab
Riggers come out and string up three red cables in the shape of an N over the ring and hang the newly crafted PHWF N-Sanity Championship over it. The six wrestlers enter and look at the belt longingly, except for The Knife who is looking at Viper. The bell rings and all six men attack one another. Out of the huddle Kenji climbs on top of S-Y-B and Tab lunging upwards towards the belt. Concrete grabs Kenji and drags him down. Kenji comes flying at Concrete with a cross kick which Concrete ducks, Kenji crashes into S-Y-B blasting his nose open and he spills out of the ring. S-Y-B rolls around on the ground clutching his profusely bleeding face. Paramedics come out and drag S-Y-B out. He's been stretchered out from the match in 5.04 seconds, a personal best for S-Y-B. Meanwhile in the ring, Tab has managed to get ahold of one of the ropes and is inching towards the title. Viper jumps up and grabs Tab's legs, dangling with all his weight, trying to stop him from reaching the belt. Knife Stab Superkick's Viper then resumes his place on Tab's legs trying to drag him down. Then out of nowhere Kenji comes flying off the turnbuckle and catches Tab around the waste falling backwards dragging him off the ropes in sort of a falling german suplex slamming Tab onto his already injured neck. Tab is in pain. The medics come back and drag him out. Only three minutes into this match and two of our competitors have been dragged out already. Kenji, Concrete, Viper and Knife are looking at each other across the ring after Tab is out, ready to brawl. Concrete shoots into Viper and sweeps his legs out from under him and leaps to the toprope, Kenji jumps up and spinning back kicks him down to the outside of the ring before he can jump onto Viper. Kenji turns around only to walk into a Cutter from Knife. Viper gets up and turns around and catches Knife's foot right as he is attempting a second Stab Superkick. He pulls Knife into him, catches Knife and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes him across the ring. Viper looks up at the belt and decides to go for it. He climbs up the toprope and starts working his way towards the title. As he's dangling from the rope he tries to undo the strap and suddenly Kenji is up and grabs his leg. Knife gets up and grabs Viper's other leg and they yank him to the mat. They are standing at Viper's body then notice each other and attack one another. Kenji grabs Knife's head and hits a huge leaping knee to the face. Knife stumbles back into the ropes which Concrete pulls down from the outside spilling Knife to the outside. Concrete slingshots onto the toprope and leaps at Kenji and hits a hurricanrana. Concrete gets up and looks around for Viper but he doesn't see him. He looks up and realizes that Viper is nearly at the belt again. Concrete runs to the corner, leaps to the top turnbuckle and jumps towards the center, grabs the cables and swings forward slamming his knees into Viper knocking him down again. Concrete climbs towards the belt when Kenji leaps strait up underneath Concrete in a flying uppercut. He shouts out "SHO RYU KEN!" and is his, yes! His fist is on fire! He just did a Dragon Uppercut! Uh oh. Pun is out and he is pissed. He takes the mic.
Pun- That's it! I warned you about all this shit Kenji. You're disqualified! Get out of the ring!
Kenji- You said Dragonball Z! You said nothing about Street Fighter!
Pun- Same shit. I don't care. You're gone. Continue!
Concrete gets up and looks sore, but still ready to fight. Knife is back in the ring and Viper is groggy, but ready for battle. Knife punches Concrete, then is hit by Viper, who gets punched by Concrete and the cycle continues, until Knife and Viper grab Concrete for a double suplex. They have him up, he's struggling, he gets his feet back to the ground and suplexes both men! He goes to the tope rope and hits Viper with a shooting star press! Knife is slowly getting up when Concrete hits the Cement Mixer on him! Concrete goes to climb the ropes and hangs from the cables a third time inching towards the N-Sanity Title. He gets one hand on it, but Viper is up and in the corner. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, leaps at Concrete, grabs him in a rear naked choke, but Concrete won't let go! Concrete looks like he's fading fast and Viper clamps the hold down harder! He's trying hard, but Knife is up and goes to the ropes as well, he jumps at the others and grabs on as well. Concrete is now supporting the weight of three men and being choked. He lets go, but grabs the belt on the way down! All three men hit hard but CONCRETE TG HAS THE BELT!
Winner in 24:56 and NEW PHWF N-Sanity Champion- Concrete TG!
JF- Oh my God! That was in-SANE! I can't believe it! We have new Tag Champions and now a new N-Sanity Champion here tonight! Who will win the PHWF Championship at PHWF 4!? Its gonna be GREAT! Watch it!
DE- OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!
(seriously guys, I had to go to Sacramento for a couple of days and I should have budgeted my time better. I'm a terrible person and I should burn in hell)
DE- I've met one of them before. He's taller in person.
JF- Which one?
DE- The tall one.
Chris Alt vs. Moosehead Jack
PHWF Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match
Chris Alt makes his way to the ring first, stopping to speak to a few fans along the way. Moosehead Jack’s music hits and he comes to the top of the ramp, but he refuses to move further. He’s demanding a mic.
MHJ: “Punisher, get your ass out here! I’m not taking another step until you guarantee that Capslock is under guard in his locker room.”
After a few moments, Punisher comes through the curtain and has words with Jack, who then limps slowly to the ring. He slides under the ropes and the referee calls for the bell.
They lock up and Alt backs Jack into the corner. The referee demands a break and Alt complies, giving Jack the opportunity to slip in an eye poke. They lock up again and Alt grabs a hammerlock. Jack reverses and delivers several shots to the back of Alt’s head. Alt reverses into an armdrag. Jack gets up and walks into a second armdrag, then gets up and eats a dropkick. Jack falls back against the ropes and Alt comes of the opposite side, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the ropes to the outside.
Alt is up first and moves in, but Jack hits a low blow hard enough to lift Alt off the ground, then grabs Alt’s tights and pulls him face-first into the ringpost. Jack drives several forearms into Alt’s back, and hits an inverted DDT.
The referee forces Jack back into the ring and starts the count. Alt slides back in at seven, and Jack stomps away. The referee interjects himself again and gets shoved away. Jack moves in and Alt drives his fist into Jacks midsection and nails a DDT. He tosses Jack to the corner and follows with a stinger splash. Alt tosses Jack to the opposite corner and attempts another splash, but Jack pulls the referee in the way. A slow smile spreads across Jack’s face as the referee collapses.
Alt attacks, wailing away on Jack with punches and kicks. Jack reels, then drops to the mat and rolls outside. He grabs a chair, but is leveled by a plancha from Alt. Alt is up first and attempts an irish whip, but Jack reverses and sends Alt into the ringsteps. Jack grabs Alt by the hair and drives his face into the steps repeatedly until blood starts to flow. Jack pulls him up and sets up a DDT, but Alt reverses into a northern lights suplex that drops Jack on the steps.
Both men slowly get to their feet. They exchange punches, with Jack getting the advantage. He picks up the chair but Alt dropkicks it into his face. Jack comes up bleeding. Another exchange of punches ends when Alt drives his shoulder into Jack’s midsection and slams him into the railing. With Jack stunned, Alt rolls him back into the ring. Slingshot legdrop, and Alt covers, but the referee is still down. Alt makes a cardinal mistake and goes to check on him, allowing Jack to recover and attack.
Jack is in his sadistic glory, and beats the hell out of Alt, focusing on the gash on his forehead and tearing at it with his fingers and even his teeth. The referee stirs at one point, but Jack body slams Alt across him and puts him back down. Alt attempts a comeback with a few right hands, but Jack drives Alt’s head into an exposed turnbuckle to put an end to that.
Jack scrapes Alt off the mat and sets up the Heart Punch, but Alt side-steps, pulls Jack in, and hits a sick DDT. Alt kips up and grabs Jack’s legs, falling back and propelling Jack face-first into the exposed turnbuckle Jack stumbles back and Alt grabs him and nails the Spinal Contusion. Alt looks around and sees the referee is sitting up so he makes the cover and the ref drags himself over to count. One…Two…Thr – Jack rolls a shoulder!!
Alt is incensed. He picks Jack up and signals for the Spinal Contusion again, but then stops in shakes his head. He grabs Jack’s arm, twists it over his head, and levels him with a Heart Punch! Alt collapse on Jack and this time Jack can’t kick out before the three.
Winner, in 36:43, Chris Alt.
JF- Oh my God! At PHWF 4 Chris Alt will face Chris Cole for the PHWF Heavyweight Championship! That is a match I want to see! These men know each other well, but what will happen when they lock up LIVE on PHWF!?
DE- I bet Chris will win.
JF- You could be right, Don.
DE- We'll see you next time, GOODNIGHT!
JF- There's actually another match.
DE- IS THERE!? Fuckin' sweet! I hope there's midgets!
JF- No...just wrestlers, but there's six of them. All fighting for one thing and one thing only: the PHWF N-Sanity Championship. Only the most insane wrestlers can even dare to compete in this match. Over the ring is a giant N made of cables where the N-Sanity Title will be hung. The first man to grab it, will become our first N-Sanity Champion!
DE- Just climb up and grab the belt? You don't even have to pin anybody? Lame.
JF- Here's a Mark MacGuire rookie card. Go nuts.
DE- MINT CONDITION! Only 300 of these Fleer Big Mac rookie cards were ever made, and if you ACT NOW...
JF- Let's go down to the ring.
Ultimate N match for the N-Sanity Championship
Concrete TG vs. Viet Cong Viper vs. The Knife vs. Kenji vs. S-Y-B vs. Ryan Tab
Riggers come out and string up three red cables in the shape of an N over the ring and hang the newly crafted PHWF N-Sanity Championship over it. The six wrestlers enter and look at the belt longingly, except for The Knife who is looking at Viper. The bell rings and all six men attack one another. Out of the huddle Kenji climbs on top of S-Y-B and Tab lunging upwards towards the belt. Concrete grabs Kenji and drags him down. Kenji comes flying at Concrete with a cross kick which Concrete ducks, Kenji crashes into S-Y-B blasting his nose open and he spills out of the ring. S-Y-B rolls around on the ground clutching his profusely bleeding face. Paramedics come out and drag S-Y-B out. He's been stretchered out from the match in 5.04 seconds, a personal best for S-Y-B. Meanwhile in the ring, Tab has managed to get ahold of one of the ropes and is inching towards the title. Viper jumps up and grabs Tab's legs, dangling with all his weight, trying to stop him from reaching the belt. Knife Stab Superkick's Viper then resumes his place on Tab's legs trying to drag him down. Then out of nowhere Kenji comes flying off the turnbuckle and catches Tab around the waste falling backwards dragging him off the ropes in sort of a falling german suplex slamming Tab onto his already injured neck. Tab is in pain. The medics come back and drag him out. Only three minutes into this match and two of our competitors have been dragged out already. Kenji, Concrete, Viper and Knife are looking at each other across the ring after Tab is out, ready to brawl. Concrete shoots into Viper and sweeps his legs out from under him and leaps to the toprope, Kenji jumps up and spinning back kicks him down to the outside of the ring before he can jump onto Viper. Kenji turns around only to walk into a Cutter from Knife. Viper gets up and turns around and catches Knife's foot right as he is attempting a second Stab Superkick. He pulls Knife into him, catches Knife and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes him across the ring. Viper looks up at the belt and decides to go for it. He climbs up the toprope and starts working his way towards the title. As he's dangling from the rope he tries to undo the strap and suddenly Kenji is up and grabs his leg. Knife gets up and grabs Viper's other leg and they yank him to the mat. They are standing at Viper's body then notice each other and attack one another. Kenji grabs Knife's head and hits a huge leaping knee to the face. Knife stumbles back into the ropes which Concrete pulls down from the outside spilling Knife to the outside. Concrete slingshots onto the toprope and leaps at Kenji and hits a hurricanrana. Concrete gets up and looks around for Viper but he doesn't see him. He looks up and realizes that Viper is nearly at the belt again. Concrete runs to the corner, leaps to the top turnbuckle and jumps towards the center, grabs the cables and swings forward slamming his knees into Viper knocking him down again. Concrete climbs towards the belt when Kenji leaps strait up underneath Concrete in a flying uppercut. He shouts out "SHO RYU KEN!" and is his, yes! His fist is on fire! He just did a Dragon Uppercut! Uh oh. Pun is out and he is pissed. He takes the mic.
Pun- That's it! I warned you about all this shit Kenji. You're disqualified! Get out of the ring!
Kenji- You said Dragonball Z! You said nothing about Street Fighter!
Pun- Same shit. I don't care. You're gone. Continue!
Concrete gets up and looks sore, but still ready to fight. Knife is back in the ring and Viper is groggy, but ready for battle. Knife punches Concrete, then is hit by Viper, who gets punched by Concrete and the cycle continues, until Knife and Viper grab Concrete for a double suplex. They have him up, he's struggling, he gets his feet back to the ground and suplexes both men! He goes to the tope rope and hits Viper with a shooting star press! Knife is slowly getting up when Concrete hits the Cement Mixer on him! Concrete goes to climb the ropes and hangs from the cables a third time inching towards the N-Sanity Title. He gets one hand on it, but Viper is up and in the corner. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, leaps at Concrete, grabs him in a rear naked choke, but Concrete won't let go! Concrete looks like he's fading fast and Viper clamps the hold down harder! He's trying hard, but Knife is up and goes to the ropes as well, he jumps at the others and grabs on as well. Concrete is now supporting the weight of three men and being choked. He lets go, but grabs the belt on the way down! All three men hit hard but CONCRETE TG HAS THE BELT!
Winner in 24:56 and NEW PHWF N-Sanity Champion- Concrete TG!
JF- Oh my God! That was in-SANE! I can't believe it! We have new Tag Champions and now a new N-Sanity Champion here tonight! Who will win the PHWF Championship at PHWF 4!? Its gonna be GREAT! Watch it!
DE- OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!
(seriously guys, I had to go to Sacramento for a couple of days and I should have budgeted my time better. I'm a terrible person and I should burn in hell)
