[Fire-Babe]

I'll post this as a nominee here and 'there,' depending on where we decide to end up:

natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=2298&page=2

(and it's blownspot's 'faces kick all kinds of whoop-ass on the heels' epic promo).

[Tommy]

Promo of the Year:

natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=2682

*Eric O'Mac is walking down the hall and notices a bloody corpse on the ground. He doesn't even see who it is when he says...*

Eric: Ha.

*Eric walks away to his locker room.*

[blownspot]

Ok these are some of my favorites from promos past.

We start with one from Donovan Viper. I like it because it introduced an alternative to Flair's sandwich stand which didn't catch on like I'd hoped. I still use it on occasion though.

Paul Roma's Wraps!

Outback Jack is at the sandwich shop.

OBJ: Stank? What are you doing here?

St: I'm working here.

OBJ: Why?

St: Man, don't ask.

OBJ: Well, I'm hungry, what's good?

St: Here, I'll make you a stankwich. On the house.

OBJ: Sweet! (munch munch munch BRAAAAAAAAP!!!!) That was Australian for holy SHIT that was a damn good sandwich!

Just then, Viper walks in.

OBJ: Hey! You have my Intercontinental Championship! I'm taking it back tomorrow!

DV: I don't think so buddy. This is just a precurser to when I take the title from that fat friend of yours.

St: I AM NOT FAT! I'm just big boned.

OBJ: So what are you doing here? Are you going to jump me?

DV: Like I'm stupid enough to do that with Stank here. No. I'm just here because the guy I just beat for his championship and the guy I want to beat for his championship just happen to be at the same place. I figure, you know, opportune promo time.

OBJ: Yeah, that makes good sense.

St: That it does. So are you gonna buy a sandwich or what?

DV: No. LOADED's got our Wolfgang Puck catering for us. But speaking of which, I wanted to tell you that, since Flair's not around to manage the shop anymore, some guy decided to open up a new shop in direct competition with you.

St: Competition with me?

DV: Yup.

St: This ain't my shop...

DV: Then what are you doing working here?

St: Man, I...

DV: I don't understand why you as the World Champion with your bonus pay and main event PPV revenues need this minimum wage job just to get by.

St: Dude, I....

DV: I mean COME ON! I just want to beat you for the title RIGHT NOW to put the World Championship around someone who doesn't need a second job doing something a highschooler can do.

St: You fucking...

DV: But NOOOOO.... LD Williams gets the title shot. Meanwhile, I have to entertain your burping loser aussie friend because of a stupid rematch clause.

OBJ: I'm no loser!

DV: You were last week, bitch.

St: GodDAMMIT! SHUT UP! Ok, so what's the deal with competition to Flair's Sandwich Shoppe?

DV: Look over there.

A new stand has been erected. It says "Roma's Pretty Glorious Wraps." Standing at the booth is former Horseman, Paul Roma!

St: WRAPS?!?!?

DV: They're the healthy alternative.

St: Oh THIS is BULLSHIT!

DV: That's what I'm saying. All this time he says Flair is jealous of him, but he waits for Flair to dissappear to finally set up shop. Fucking pussy.

Just then, Capellan walks over to Paul Roma's wrap stand.

Cap: California Special, please.

PR: $28 please.

Cap: That's pricey.

PR: Price you pay for quality. (rubs his pretty glorious abs)

Cap: Holy SHIT this is good! And HEALTHY! You're right!

Viper walks over.

DV: Hey, Cap. That looks really good. Can I get a bite?

Cap: I wouldn't give you a bite of my sandwich when we were tag team partners. Why would I give you one now, benedict?

DV: Oh come on...

Cap: You HAVE money now, sell out. Buy your own.

DV: But I'm cheap....

Cap: Oh Stank. I'm going to win this Five Man Scramble this week. And I'm getting that world title next week. Just you watch.

Capellan leaves very happy with his wrap.

DV: Well, I gotta go.

St: Man, Tully's gonna kill me....

Ox: HEY! DID YOU JUST GIVE THAT AUSSIE A SANDWICH WIHTOUT MAKING HIM PAY?!?!

St: Yeah...

Ox: THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK!!!!

St: GodDAMMIT!!!

Nice job Sal!

Our next promo is in the same thread... How could any of us forget Moose's awesome
"A Wrestling Carol". I haven't. It was way back when and just missed 2007 nominations, which is ok because I like it for 2008. Enjoy.

<Moose and LD Williams are walking>

LDW: So how the hell are you going to fix this?

MHJ: I don’t know, somehow we have to get Stank back into the promo. Right now, I can’t worry about that, we will just make sure that the August Stank is in the back and you are facing the current Stank at Mayhem. Right now, I need to get ready for my match with Crete.

LDW: Yeah, I should get ready for Stank……one of them anyway

<LD Williams leaves and Moose heads to his darkened room lit only by a single bulb. Moose sits on an overstuffed chair and just closes his eyes when someone knocks on the door>

MHJ: Son of a bitch. Who is it? <no answer, Moose gets up and opens the door and Stank is standing there> What do you want

Stank: ………

MHJ: Look, I know I fucked up the fabric of time or something, I’ll fix it, you just need to get back into the promo

Stank: ……….

MHJ: Seriously, I have shit to do, can I help you with something? No? <Moose is about to close the door when Stank speaks>

Stank: I am not Stank

MHJ: Of course not. We have three hundred pound black men in wrestling gear walking all over the place. So who the hell are you?

Stank: I am the ghost of wrestling past

MHJ: Of course you are

GOWP: ……….

MHJ: And? What do you want?

<The Ghost of Wrestling past just waves his finger at Moose beckoning him to follow>

They walk through the arena, but no one seems to notice either of them. As they pass a room, The Ghost of Wrestling Past pauses and points for Moose to look inside. Moose looks and we see:

quote:
(Camera cuts to the back where Brad Smoley is celebrating the forming of The Ministry of Dawgness, he is trying to get the others to go out and party with him, no one bites)

Smoley (to a cameraman) c’mon we are going to go party Biscuit style!

(The cameraman follows Smoley around to different seedy bars and nightclubs where Smoley alternates between drinking heavily and hitting on women, and getting rejected! Finally they are at a really seedy bar in a bad part of town, Smoley is wasted and he is hitting on a fifty year old barmaid and getting indignant because she won’t hook up with him.)

Bis (very drunk): Fine! I didn’t want you anyway! Do you know who I am? I am The Biscuit! I am a famous wrestler; I could whip anyone’s (hic) ass!

(With that, several burly men stand up and approach Smoley)

Bis: You got a problem?

(camera follows the men as they throw Smoley out of the door and on to the street)

Smoley gets up (barely) FINE I didn’t want to be in that crap hole anyway! Damn it where are my keys! (cameraman shakes his head) Damn it where is Dawg, or Hellion, or Corax? They could use their magic powers to fly me home. C’mon we gotta find a way home.

(smoley staggers into an alley littered with garbage and whinos. There are a few warming their hands next to a barrel fire, Smoley walks over to them)

hey, HEY, any of you guys got money? I lost my car and its keys.

(one by one they walk away, muttering obscenities to Smoley, one remains)

Hey HEY I’m talking to you, I’m Brad Smoley the famous ass kickin (hic) wrestler, gimme some money.

The last man at the fire slowly looks up, its Moosehead Jack

Smoley is speechless and tries to run, MHJ pounces, grabs Smoley by the shirt (ripping it off) and starts pummeling him.

Smoley falls to the ground and tries to cover himself, Jack is raining shots to the head, Jack then starts kicking Smoley viciously. He picks up the Biscuit and pins him to the wall with one hand, and with the other he hits a brutal Heart Punch. Smoley crumples to the ground. Jack looks around and finds an old whiskey bottle, he picks it up and smashes it on the ground, grabbing the largest shard he begins carving Smoley’s forehead. Smoley’s screams fill the alley as the blood gushes from his forehead. After a few minutes it looks like Smoley has been shot in the face. Jack then grabs him and DDT’s him on the broken glass of the bottle. Smoley flops over on his back, but is out cold. Jack gets up, grins maniacally and stares at Smoley. He starts to walk away then stops, turns and kneels next to Smoley. Jack dips his fingers into Smoley’s bloody forehead and scrawls three letters on Smoley’s bloody torso,

MHJ

Jack gets up and walks towards the camera man, looks directly into the camera

“That’s one”



GOWP: You attacked someone weaker than you

MHJ: He had it coming

They continue walking down the hall and come to another room, once again The Ghost of Wrestling Past beckons for Moose to look in.

quote:The two archenemies met in the center of the ring and exchange slaps. The slaps quickly escalate to punches, and we are on! Concrete goes on the offensive first, and within five minutes he has MHJ a bloody mess from repeated trips into the cage. Concrete gets the first near fall after a top rope belly to back suplex on Moose. Jack kicks out, Concrete pulls him to his feet, but Jack gets a shot to the face in, then turns and slams Concrete’s face into the cage. Jack grinds Concrete’s face into the unforgiving steel mesh, and finishes it off by hitting a running high knee that slams Concrete’s face into the cage and brings even more gore. The action continues for over a half an hour, both men ripping at the other, both men losing sick amounts of blood, I mean we are talking Muta levels of bleeding here folks. Jack has Concrete down after a big clothesline, but can’t see to make the cover. Jack corners the ref, then un-tucks his shirt to wipe his eyes. Now the ref has Moose blood all over his shirt. Of course when he turns around, Concrete kills him with a super kick to the mouth. At around the thirty-five minute mark both men are bloody messes and both men are down on the mat, fighting to stay conscious, and fighting to continue. Jack gets to his feet first, he pulls Concrete to his feet, Concrete explodes and hits a leg lariat, kicking Jack right in the temple. Both men are down. Concrete crawls over to Jack and makes the cover, 1,2….Jack just manages to get a shoulder up. Concrete pulls Jack up, sends him into the cage face first once again. Blood sprays through the cage and hits the people in the first row. Concrete grabs Jack and rams him into the cage on the opposite side. Jack staggers backward; Concrete grabs Jack and kills him with a Cement Mixer. Jack is out, but so is Concrete. The ref starts the long ten count. Finally around eight, Concrete pulls himself to his feet and falls across Jack. Once again Jack is able to kick out at two. Concrete is furious, and mounts Jack and pounds away at Jack’s head. Concrete whips Jack to the ropes, but puts his head down a moment too soon; Jack grabs Concrete and hits a jumping pile driver. Concrete’s neck may be broken. Concrete is out, but Jack is now too weak to take advantage of it right away. Jack lunges and drapes his arm across Concrete’s chest. Concrete kicks out at two. By now the members of the AYUFF and the Establishment have surrounded the ring. Jack pulls Concrete up by his hair, now it is Jack’s turn to run Concrete face first into the cage. Jack kicks Concrete in the mid section and plants him with a DDT, cover, Concrete just gets the shoulder up, now Jack snaps and pounds away on Concrete slamming his head into the mat. Jack tries for another pile driver; Concrete escapes it with a low blow. Concrete gets to his feet and tries a power bomb, but Jack shifts his weight and lands behind Concrete, Jack immediately grabs CTG’s arm, pins it, and hammers Concrete with a heart punch. Concrete staggers, but Jack won’t let him fall, Jack hits another, and another, never letting Concrete fall. Jack finally lets go, Concrete falls to the mat, limp and seemingly out cold. Jack picks him up one more time, and hits a double under hook DDT. Both men are down; Jack crawls to Concrete, rolls him over and makes the cover, this time Concrete cannot kick out.
WINNER in 44:19 Moosehead Jack.

Medical officials flood the ring and check on both men. The Establishment and the AYUFF both look concern, disturbed, and angry. Jack gets to his feet then walks over to Concrete who has just pulled himself to his feet. Jack looks at him and grins. The reality of what has just happened hits Concrete and he slumps to his knees and buries his face in his hands. Jack staggers out of the cage and he and the Establishment head to the back



GOWP: You forced a man to do your bidding

MHJ: Yeah that was great! That fool fell for the whole plan too!

They continue on walking through Moosehead Jack’s wrestling past, we see him attack Neil Diamond, we see several attacks backstage and attempted hangings, we see Moose stab Niles Anderson in the head with a crucifix, we see Moose kidnap Fievel in order to get a world title shot. We see all the blood thirsty and cruel acts Moose has committed over the years. Finally we come to the last room at the end of the hall. The Ghost of Wrestling Past points and Moose peers into the room:

quote:<Crete leaves the locker room and starts down the hall when he is met by Sexy Female Journalist 23>

SFJ23: Crete can I have a word with you?

CTG: Of course

SFJ23: It appears that you are right on the verge of some sort of career altering decision, speculation around the locker room is rampant, would you care to elaborate?

CTG:<taking a deep breath> Well it's like this. Some people have a purpose greater than others. And I feel like I have a message to get out to a ................

<the SFJ screams as two masked men attack Crete and beat him down to the ground. With Crete subdued, they pull him to his knees and hold his arms tight so he can't escape. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III walks into the scene>

FFM3: Well Crete, how the hell are ya? Look, I just wanted you to know that this is nothing personal, this is just business. BOY, come over here.

<Firechild appears next to MacCappington with a steel chair>

FFM3: Do it

FC: No

FFM3: Do I need to remind you who owns whom here? And more importantly, need I remind you what happens if I make a certain phone call

<Firechild glares at MacCappington with hatred burning in his eyes>

FFM3: Now do it

<Firechild looks helplessly at Crete, then swings the chair catching Crete square in the face, sending Crete sprawling in the floor. Firechild throws the chair aside and glares at MacCappington. MacCappington just laughs and orders him off, then pulls out a wad of bills and pays the masked men.>

FFM3: Thank you gentlemen. This should come in handy during this festive season.

<MacCappington turns to someone in the shadows>

FFM3: He's all yours

<Moosehead Jack walks out and slumps to the floor, next to Crete who is struggling to get his bearings, Moose grabs Crete's hair and forces him to look him in the eyes>

MHJ: Lots of rumors going around Crete, lots of rumors. Now, I know your pride hurts a lot right now. I am sure you think this was completely unprovoked. But lets not forget this summer in Rio. Whether anyone else believes it or not, YOU had a couple of men jump me to keep me out of that tournament. Let's just consider this me squaring things up before you leave for greener pastures.

And Crete, don't be a fool. I know you saw what happened last night, and I know it annoys you more than you will let on. You know what you are going to do, make it official already. You wanna be a hero, go do it somewhere else. The OOWF doesn't need heroes.

Trust me

<Moose gets up and leaves, letting Crete slump back to the floor in pain>



GOWP: That is your most recent action. Sadly these are your happy memories.

MHJ: Yeah those were great. I wish I could go back and stab Niles again. Or beat down Semaj B, what a simp, even if he is dead. There are so many! Man! Remember when I gouged my initials on Uncle Entity’s chest? Fantastic!

Moose turns around to speak to the Ghost of Wrestling Past, but when he turns around, he sees that he is sitting in the overstuffed chair in his darkened locker room.

MHJ: What the hell was that? Man, I need to talk to Dr. Sidney Freeman or something, he would have a field day with this.

There is another knock at the door just as Moose is settling back in and relaxing.

MHJ: GO AWAY!

The knocks continue

MHJ: I SAID GO AWAY! I AM TRYING TO RELAX

The knocks continue

MHJ: Goddamit, whoever is there is getting heartpunched into oblivion

Moose opens the door and there stands Stank with the OOWF Title over his shoulder.

MHJ: What the fuck do you want? I am trying to get ready for my match with Crete

Stank: ……..

MHJ: This again? Didn’t I just talk to you, or at least dream I talked to you? We went and saw all the great things I did in the OOWF, it was fun and all, but I don’t have time for this.

Moose tries to close the door, but Stank blocks it with his foot.

Stank: I am not Stank

MHJ: Of course not. You are The Ghost of Wrestling Past, only now you have won the title, congrats on that, but I still don’t have time for…..

The Ghost of Wrestling Present beckons Moose to follow him. At first Moose is reluctant, but the Ghost of Wrestling Present stares intently at him.

MHJ: FINE! Dammit.

They walk down the hall where once again, they are not noticed by other wrestlers. Moose can hear the conversations as he passes, he comes to Crete cutting this promo:

quote:(CTG is working out in the non-air-conditioned gym. It's summer in Australia, mate!)

SFJ#52: (walks in) Concrete, there's a lot of concern about you leaving us to go "Up North". Can you give us some insights?

CTG: (finishes his curls before standing) There's a very lucrative offer on the table for me to head up there, and a lot of people in that company were very impressed with my work this past summer at Battleground. While they can't reference it on the air, enough important people saw it that they'd like another look at me.

SFJ#52: but you're a dedicated member of the OOWF and have been here from the beginning.

CTG: Did you know that WWE mainstays like Stone Cold Steve Austin and Triple H started in WCW before they became the Superstars that everyone - even a lot of non-fans - know. There's a lot at stake should I stay, but even more if I leave.

(CTG takes a remote and clicks on a TV in the corner, which flickers to life)
quote:

spoken by Moosehead Jack on OOWF-TV before last week's Mayhem:

Ask yourself this Crete, who stands to lose the most? You beat me, and what? You injure me, and what? It only means I am gone for a bit, and then I come back and things pick up right where they left off. I will still have my place in the OOWF. Nothing changes.

But you? Crete, you know damn well that with each passing match you are pressing your luck more and more. Right now, they want you up north. They want you because of what you can do in the ring, they want you because of your look. They want you because you are a sports entertainer. But what happens when I put one too many scars on that face of yours? What happens when one of the matches goes a little too far and you blow a knee, or an elbow, or a shoulder. What happens when I push you far enough to ruin that reputation you have so carefully crafted for yourself? That image you put forth, just so you can get noticed by Vince.



CTG: I'm actually offended by those statements. Moosehead Jack claims that in the near future, he could injure me or maim me to the point that vince McMahon would not be interested in my talents. As a WRESTLER, I am someone who can hold their own in the ring with some of the world's finest talent there. As an ENTERTAINER, I would reach a much larger audience and spread my message to those who need to hear it.

Right now, the darkness is starting to lift from their organization, so perhaps they don't need me. But there is plenty of evil to go around for heroes to vanquish.

Gregory Helms' message stung the most, so I am very torn. I can be the hero I will always be, here before the loyal OOWF....

or I could become something more.... a Hero that stands with other great heroes on the largest stage offered in this business.

I've always said it wasn't about the money or fame. but in time, this move could be my one and only opportunity to talk to the global audience. No one can hold that against me.

And as for Moosehead Jack.... others will rise to challenge him, and through the new crop here in the OOWF, I would hope that someone in that crowd CAN step up and not fear this monster who could bring this entire organization to its knees.

I appeal to the newcomers - Moosehead Jack is, was, and always WILL be the greatest challenge to you in the OOWF - perhaps even more than that chase for the OOWF heavyweight title.

Who here can fill my shoes? Maybe I need to take them off and find out.



GOWPR: There. Your enemy is lining forces up against you.

MHJ: Like I care! Bring ‘em on

GOWPR: A wise man does not fight his enemies alone. Where are your allies?

They continue walking and we see Thim Reynolds in GM the Rick’s office

quote:
<Cut to GM the Rick's office where we hear Thim screaming>

TR: I DON'T BLOODY CARE IF IT WAS THE REFEREE'S DECISION! HE WAS OUT I SHOULD HAVE WON!

GMtR: Look the referee's decision is final!

<Thim lunges at GM the Rick and pulls him across the desk, at about this time Moose rushes into the office and grabs Thim off of GM the Rick>

GMtR: Moose do something with him or so help me god....

TR: What? What are you gonna do?

GMtR: Moose, I am not playing!

MHJ: Thim, just wait outside a minute

TR: BULLSHIT! MOOSE LET ME AT HIM!!

MHJ: SPARTACUS! Wait outside for a minute!

<Rage burns in Thim's eyes, but he snarls at GM the Rick and leaves the room>

MHJ:<walking out of GM the Rick's office a few minutes later> Well it's settled

TR: That trollop Rick gave me the win?

MHJ: No. <Thim starts to explode but Moose calms him down> Look Thim, you have been red lining for a few months now, maybe you need a break

TR: DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I NEED!

MHJ: Ok, I'll put it to you straight, Rick thinks you are going to injure someone again like you did Apocalyptic Existence and he wants you to take some time off

TR: like hell

MHJ: Look Thim, it's either you walk away now, or you are uspended without pay

TR: and what do you think about this?

MHJ: I think it might be a good idea, Thim we need you focused on one thing and one thing only

TR: You might not like what it is I focus on Jack

MHJ: I'll take my chances

<Thim glares at Moose for a moment, then turns and walks away>

MHJ: Stubborn bastard



GOWPR: That was a strong ally you lost. And since then you have not gone to bat for him to try and get him back. Right Spartacus?

<Moose just glares at the Ghost of Wrestling Present for a moment>

GOWPR: We have one more stop to make. They go further down the hall and we stop in a room and see this:

quote: Cole is introduced first, and comes to the ring alone and looks completely focused. Cole gets into the Cell and looks around at the daunting structure. UnderDawg is announced next and makes his grand entrance to the ring. Dawg gives the OOWF world heavyweight title to the announcer at ringside and climbs into the cell. As soon as UD gets into the ring, Cole attacks, raking the eyes and landing several stiff elbows to the side of Dawg’s head. Cole pushes UD against the ropes and tries a whip across the ring but UD reverses the whip and tries a clothesline, but Cole ducks the clothesline and grabs UD and nails a sweet side Russian leg sweep. Cole gets to his feet and hits the ropes and drives an elbow into UD’s throat, covers, but only gets a one count. Cole pulls Dawg to his feet and runs the side of his head into the turnbuckle, then bounces off the ropes and knocks Big Dawg down with a clothesline. Cole uncharacteristically goes to the top rope and tries something or other, but UD is back on his feet and goozles Cole on the top rope. To his credit, Cole breaks the choke with a knee to UD’s jaw. Dawg staggers away and Cole leaps and hits a flying bulldog, driving UD’s head into the mat. Cole rolls Dawg over and covers, but can only get a two count, then he starts choking UD and only breaks at four, can you be disqualified in a Hell in the Cell? We shall see I suppose. Cole pulls UD to his feet and tries another whip, this time UD reverses it and sends Cole to the ropes and catches him with a boot to the face. Cole staggers back against the ropes and UD takes him over the top rope with a clothesline. UD waits inside the ring for Cole to get to his feet on the outside, when he does, UD gets a running start and leaps over the top rope with a suicide dive! But Cole moves out of the way and UD’s head slams into the unforgiving steel! Dawg writhes on the floor in pain and Cole gets a look of pure hate on his face and lays into UD. Putting his face against the steel and repeatedly kneeing him in the back of the head until UD’s face is a mask of blood. Cole pulls UD to his knees, slaps him a few times, then picks up a steel chair and slams it down on top of UD’s head. Cole rolls UD into the ring and covers him, but UD rolls his shoulder at two. Cole is showing no frustration at all, he simply pulls UD to his feet and hits a Headliner. Covers, and gets the one, two thre….NO! UD kicks out. Now Cole is a little frustrated, he leaves the ring and grabs the chair and slams it on the mat, grabs UD and hits a second Headliner, this time on the chair, covers again, and again, UD kicks out at two. Cole screams at the ref, meanwhile UD does the zombie sit up of the undead ass kickers. Cole turns around and sees a snarling bloody Underdawg and tries to attack, but UD beats him to the punch and hammers Cole with a series of rights and lefts that leave him dazed. UD whips Cole into the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. Cole staggers out of the corner and UD hits an enzuguri (!) that drops Cole to the mat face first. UD turns to the corner and tears the turnbuckle off, exposing the metal beneath. UD pulls Cole to his feet, walks him to the corner and slams his head repeatedly into the steel until Cole is a bloody mess. UD then scales the turnbuckle and bites Cole ion the forehead, releases him and throws him over the top rope. UD follows Cole to the outside and bounces his head off the cage several times. Cole is in deep trouble until he frees himself with a low blow. Cole wraps the mic cord around UD’s throat and tries to choke the life out of him. UD’s only escape is to fall forward and slam Cole’s head into the steel ring steps. UD rolls Cole into the ring and slowly stalks his prey. Cole gets to his feet and UD scoops him up to throw him on his shoulder, but Cole slithers over his shoulder and shoves UD forward, taking out the referee. UD turns around and blocks a Cole punch and goozles him, CHOKESLAM! UnderDawg makes the slash motion for the Last Ride! Just then, Moosehead Jack emerges from under the ring, barbed wire bat in hand and rolls into the ring! What the hell is he doing? Jack stands next to a prone Chris Cole, Cole looks up at Jack uncertain of his motives, Jack extends his hand and helps Cole to his feet! Jack and Cole are on the same page! Cole grins from ear to ear, Underdawg snarls. The referee is still down! Jack and Cole slowly back UnderDawg into the corner, trapped like a rat, Dawg takes a few swings at the two. Jack and Cole discuss strategy for a moment, then Cole moves to charge in and attack Dawg, but Jack grabs Cole by the arm, spins him around and KO’S HIM WITH THE BARBED WIRE BAT! Jack stands over Cole with he deranged look on his face, then drops down and pummels Cole with shots to the face. Meanwhile, UD stands in the corner and looks amused. Jack pulls Cole to his feet, kicks him low, DDT! Moose locks on the ji-endo using the barbed wire bat to press against Cole’s neck, Cole is coughing up blood, and is close to unconsciousness when Jack releases the hold. At the top of the ramp, Altrageous comes out and sees Cole being decimated in the ring. In an almost trance like state he walks about halfway down the ramp, then realizes that there is someone behind him, he turns and sees Thim Reynolds and LD Williams. Alt runs through the crowd, but he is cut off before he can escape and ambushed by Firechild. Inside the ring, the referee is starting to stir. UnderDawg walks over to Moose and they stare eye to eye, then they both laugh. UD extends his hand and he and Jack shake hands. IT WAS A SETUP ALL ALONG! Jack pulls Cole to his feet and hammers him with a heart punch that sends him staggering into UD’s waiting arms. UD scoops Cole up and destroys him with the FIRE PLUG DRIVER! Jack leaves the ring and disappears from view. The referee crawls over to where UD is covering an unconscious Cole and makes the three count.
WINNER in 27:21 and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – UnderDawg

Officials open the door and LD Williams and Thim Reynolds, now joined by Canadian Dragon all enter the cage, they all shake hands with UnderDawg and the unholy group celebrates their victory. As it becomes evident that UD has joined them, the fans start to boo. The five men in the ring soak it up.



They turn to leave and Moose spies himself talking to Sexy Femal Journalist 37:

quote: SFJ37: Moose, was this a set up all along? Why did you turn on Cole?

MHJ: You know there is one thing I will simply not tolerate, and that is being in the company of fools. Cole, you are a fool. You thought you could order me around? You thought you could order LD and Thim around? No. Not now, not ever. See, this whole thing was a marriage of convienence. Being around your little group was conveinent for us. You held the gold, people came after you, we got to get our hands bloody. But then, you outlived your usefullness. You and your boys couldn't keep it together, and you got desperate. Instead of realizing that you had the greatest collection of ass kickers on the planet on your side, you decided to lash out and make demands of us. Well Cole, I know you are watching this somewhere, I know you are seething inside. All I can say is this: how does it feel? You made an example of Ax and Firechild for not living up to your standards. Now, lord knows I am not taking up for those two, but you Cole, you just got punked. You just got turfed because you couldn't run with the big dogs.

<Jack turns to walk away and nearly walks into Firechild, the two stare at each other for a moment>

FC: Nice job

MHJ: It is what it is

FC: And what you and Thim did to me?

MHJ: Nothing but business. You want your revenge? Feel free to come after it. Consider your course of action carefully

FC: Or?

MHJ: Or you may end up sharing a room with Cole.

<Jack walks off leaving FC to contemplate his words>



GOWPR: One by one you have alienated those who once stood by you. Few remain. You were once a leader of men, The Establishment, your group with Thim and LD, but now? You are a man alone. LD Williams has his sights set on the world title, do you expect him to give that up to save you from your own destruction?

Moose snarls and spins to face the Ghost of Wrestling Present, when he realizes that he is once again in his locker room sitting in his over stuffed chair. Moose gets to his feet and paces back and forth for a moment mumbling to himself before finally settling back into his chair and resting his head. Moose just gets settled and comfortable when a shadow passes over his face, Moose opens his eyes and we see a bloody Stank standing in front of him.

MHJ: WHAT THE FUCK! SO NOW WE DON’T EVEN KNOCK? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Stank: ……..

MHJ: Ok, so now you aren’t going to talk either? I am getting tired of this crap.

Moose gets to his feet, nearly tipping the chair over in the process.

MHJ: Who are you, and where the hell are we going now?

Stank: I am the Ghost of Wrestling Future. I am here to show you what lies ahead for you.

MHJ: And when we walk down the hall, I suppose no one will be able to see us then either right?

GOWF: There is no need to leave

The Ghost of Wrestling future points to the wall and we see Moosehead Jack in the ring being brutalized, but his opponents are blurry so we can’t quite see who they are. Moose struggles to get to his feet, a bloody mess, while at least six men stomp him mercilessly. The scene fades and we see Moose facing a man about his size, but once again we cannot make out who it is. The two men are battling and the unknown man hauls Moose up for a piledriver, then slips and both men crash to the mat. Moose lands awkwardly and the referee immediately comes in and makes the “X” sign and EMT’s rush to the ring.

The scene changes again and we see Moosehead Jack in a small gym, it looks like a high school gym. It is obvious the ravages of time have taken their toll as Moose can barely move around the ring. He looks considerably older now and is having trouble keeping up with a very green rookie. The match ends when Moose cannot kick out of a sunset flip. Fans litter the ring with garbage as Moose struggles out of the ring to the back.

That slowly fades away and it appears we are in a small apartment, crowded with wrestling memorabilia. A man in a wheelchair sits in the living room, an afghan across his withered legs as he sits and watches the television. On the screen we see classic OOWF matches, it appears to be Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG fighting it out in one of their classic matches. The camera slowly pans around and we can see that it is a very old, very haggard Moosehead Jack sitting in the wheelchair.

Finally, that fades and we see a graveyard on a cold, gray rainy day. A priest stands at the foot of the open grave hurriedly giving last rights while two men lower the casket into the ground. Dirt is shoveled back into the grave and the workers walk away. There is no one there to mourn the man, no one there to pay their respects. We finally get to see the tombstone and it says Moosehead Jack.

Moose turns looking for the Ghost of Wrestling Future but he is gone. And he is once again back into his chair. Moose snaps to his feet and darts around the room for a moment, then opens the door and walks into the hall. He sees LD Williams standing talking to a Sexy Female Journalist

MHJ: LD, can you see me? Can you hear me?

LDW: Uh, yeah Moose, why the hell couldn’t I?

MHJ: Nevermind. This whole Stank thing has got to be fixed. I have to make things right.

<Moose pauses for a moment, stops and contemplates something, then gets an evil snarl on his face>

MHJ: I also need to make sure none of that happens. And I know just how to do it. Someone is going to pay.

<Moose storms off>

SFJ: What was he talking about?

LDW: I have NO idea

<LD Williams chases after Moose>

LDW: Moose! Moose! Wait a damn minute, what the hell are you talking about

Fantastic!

Next up Lady and Gentlemen... the front runner for promo of the year. Click the link to see the photo shopping goodness that makes this promo as special as it is.

[Scene opens to an unspecified paradise island and a wideshot of a country club at the base of a tropical mountain. However, rather than zoom into the palatial clubhouse, the camera pans around and zooms down and in to a crappy looking green just outside the country club gates, where a guy who LOOKS like Johnny Adrenaline - with scruffy hair and a five o'clock shadow from hell - is forking over a wad of cash to some guy. The guy takes off happily, and Johnny is pissed off.]

JA: [talking to his clubs] What the hell was that? I rescue you from the confines of that Jamaican pawn shop and this is what I get in return?

[Johnny slings his putter end over end acros the green and into the greenside pond, which is more like a swamp. JA turns around and sees Invisible Ninja Cameraman filming.]

JA: How long you been here? ... Long wnough, huh? Hadn't seen you in a while, where you been? ... Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't work for free. ... Well we got you that damn job in the first place, remember?

[Johnny's cell phone rings, and he checks the call and then ignores it.]

JA: Fucking bill collectors. They're not getting this though... [Johnny pulls out one of the OOWF Tag Team Title belts] Here Ninji... here's a $20, that's all I got. I need a favor. [pulls a CD out of his golf bag] Take this back to Scaia.

[The camera makes a nodding motion and we fade out from the run down golf course and back into the Rick's office, where we see the GM pick up a DVD with "Tryout Tape" sharpied on it. Rick shrugs and puts it in his DVD player and we go to a full screen of the video.]

[We get obvious voiceovers from Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline as we get some generic footage of them competing as the OOWF Tag Team champions.]

JA: Hey boss, Johnny here.

AA: And Alan. We got your belts, like you asked several months ago. We got your attorney's letters... wouldn't ya know, the mail doesn't ship from Vegas, cause what happens in Vegas...

JA: ...stays in Vegas. We just want to bury the hatchet, boss. No hard feelings. We've got the titles and will gladly return them upon our re-hiring.

AA: Since our, um, unpaid vacation, me and Johnny have been training hard, getting back into tip top shape, and we've actually been competing the world over.

JA: Just to remind you of the talents we are, we've put together this video conglamoration especially for you. Please give it a look, and if you reconsider your hatred for us, please give us a call.

AA: Let's roll it.

JA: Where'd we go first?

AA: Right after we... left. We went to... Dallas, right?

JA: Yeah, and they didn't wanna keep us together. No clue why really.

AA: Anyway, they tried Johnny as a babyface. Teamed him with Chris Adams.



JA: Total asshole. Didn't give me shit to work with. All about him. We finally had it out backstage one night, you probably read about it in the dirtsheets. Next thing I know, he kills himself.

AA: That's only cause they took the book from him and they had him jobbing to you at the fairgrounds the next week.

JA: Well yeah, but...

AA: I got the good end of it...



JA: Badstreet, USA. You're the epitome of bad, Alan.

AA: Thanks, Johnny. We headlined shows all over the circuit in 8 man tags with the Von Erichs.

JA: Well, how many of them were actually Von Erichs?

AA: Well yeah, but, you know. The fans don't know that.

JA: We didn't stay long there. Actually went to Mexico for a cup of coffee.

AA: Lucha wasn't our style at all...



JA: We wrestled what, two matches there?

AA: Match and a half. We walked out of the second one, remember?

JA: Oh yeah, that's right. Had to call the man and get in on the Thanksgiving night game.

AA: Colts/Falcons... money in the bank. We had to. I'm sure we won more on that game than however many pesos Pedro Martinez or whoever the hell he is was gonna pay us.

JA: Anyway, we went to New Japan and were instant stars.



AA: Probably the best time I've ever had as a wrestler.

JA: Was a blast.

AA: For those who can't speak Japanese, that caption reads "Shanghai Badasses." We were booked as Japanese defectors to Communist China. Angle was HUGE.

JA: Unfortunately, we had some problems with our visas...

AA: Kept declining for whatever reason.

JA: And we had to leave the country mid-angle. I don't think the Japanese market will ever recover.

AA: Lucky us, we were picked up by a small time promotion and became big hits.

JA: Here's me in a controversial angle...



AA: You got into some shit over that one, didn't ya?

JA: First time ever a wrestler had to apologize to a live crowd. Raven didn't wanna do it, but I talked him into it. Paul buried me immediately afterward, but the fans still kept me over.

AA: I was actually lucky to fall into a shit angle with guys in camouflauge and glasses. But thanks to my efforts, we ended up the biggest heels in the company. I mean, you see this...



AA: ...and how weren't we the most popular guys in the promotion?

JA: Right after that, Alan got a call from Vince. Offered him a big deal, but Tude only agreed to the deal if I got brought along... thanks bro.

AA: I guess Vince immediately took a liking to Johnny....

JA: Not THAT kind of liking.

AA: And immediately put him in a program with Hogan.

JA: Great paydays... was the special ringside enofrcer for Hogan/Bundy...



JA: ...and that led to a Triple Threat match at WrestleMania that is still lauded to this day....



JA: But I got injured in that match, big setback.

AA: It was actually a break for me, and they moved me into Johnny's spot.



AA: And Vince had so much faith in me, I was an integral part of the Montreal screwjob. Watch me right here...



JA: That was great, Alan. People still dissect the video to this day and they don't pick up your relay to Hebner.

AA: Due to that favor I did for Vince, I was booked to win the Royal Rumble...



JA: Classic. Just classic.

AA: Best Rumble ever. What can I say? Won the Rumble, but the booking changed and they wanted to go with some guy named Cena, so after doing the job at WrestleMania, we left the company on good terms.

JA: No, hold up, we made one last appearance remember?

AA: Oh yeah, a one shot deal that went over huge.

JA: The two most notorious tag teams ever... in one ring:



AA: Of course, they were over the hill at the time.

JA: Well yeah... From there, down south we went. Now Japan was great, but this was fun, too.

AA: They booked us with a couple of other guys, including Ric Flair, and we did monster business in Georgia and the Carolinas.



JA: Don't forget our Six Man Tag Title win.

AA: Oh yeah, beat the Rock and Roll Express and Sam Houston in a five star classic. Remember this promo?



JA: And we pretty much ran roughshod over the entire territory as the biggest heels of all time. Just beat up jobbers week after week after week.



JA: You throw him thru the wall?

AA: Damn right I did.

JA: Politics flared up and they broke us all up. Push come to shove, they put us under hoods as a new tag team and we won the tag team titles.



JA: We're great workers, we're great characters, we're over with live crowds.

AA: And we're medically cleared. Here's Johnny at his last doctor's appointment.



JA: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CUT THAT ONE!

AA: I'm sorry. I thought I did.

JA: Go back to the last one...

[AA, obviously in charge of editing, botches the edit and it cuts straight back to the previous picture as the sound cuts out.]



[The Rick grabs the remote, but before he can flip it off, Ron Simmons walks in.]

RS: So am I gonna be getting a paycheck for the... is that?

[Rick nods]

RS: Damn.

(We see video of Johnny Adrenaline, still wrapped in bandages and attached to tubes. He slowly lifts his arm and gives a thumbs up.)

Get well soon Johnny.

Next we have one from Ecosystem. For the record, I tended to enjoy most of Ecosystem's work. This one in particular made me laugh out loud.

(Ecosystem is sitting in a conference room with the Republican candidates for President.)

Eco: Thank you for coming. I called you all here today for one reason: because I believe that, despite my teleportation belt, I may be in danger of losing my tag titles.

John McCain: No! You're winning! Never surrender!

Eco: Thanks John. The only thing is, my partner has been a little MIA as of late.

McCain: ...

Eco: ...sorry. Sore subject.

Mitt Romney: Why don't you just change your partner based on the opponents you're facing?

Eco: But he has the other half of the tag titles...

Romney: Claim he doesn't, and if a reporter challenges you on it, shout them down.

Eco: Oh. Well, I guess I could do that. Still, it seems wrong...

Mike Huckabee: This reminds me of a long, rambling story. So a Baptist minister, a rabbi, and Chuck Norris walk into a bar. So the Baptist minister says "Jesus is Lord". And the rabbi says, "I respectfully disagree". Then Chuck Norris converts him with a roundhouse kick. In conclusion, Mitt Romney is a flip-flopper and don't listen to him.

Eco: Good point.

Ron Paul: The thing is, that gold on your belt shouldn't just be decoration. It should be the foundation for our ENTIRE monetary policy.

Eco: That's stupid.

Rudy: Some people are pretty stupid. Sometimes, however, they're brave. I remember when I was brave on 9/11.

(Everyone groans.)

Eco: That's it, I'm calling Obama in the morning.

Next up Eric O'Mac has made his return to the OOWF. He's not very happy with how things have turned out thus far and has gotten into it with new up and comer Alexander Darling. He cut this excellent promo explaining his motivations.

*Cut to E's locker room. E is sitting there in a regular steel chair. The camera zooms in.*

E: You know, I'm not one to cut promos like this where there's nothing else I can play off of, no one to interact with, no one I can make fun of. It's usually not a good idea for me to entertain the thought of an "old-school" promo. But given what has happened over the past week, I think it's a good idea I make a few things clear.

You see, some assumptions have been made about me. Assumptions about whom I'm aligned with. Assumptions about what my motivations are. A very wise man once told me that when you are assuming, you are making an ass out of yourself.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been attacked this weekend and it got me thinking. What the hell am I doing?

You know, I came into the OOWF in the fall of 2005. I was here from the beginning. And, its amazing, from the beginning, the screw jobs came flying at me. You see, I was entertainment in this company before it was flaunted is as a recognized deity. I had it all when I started here. I had the look. I had the passion. I had the moves. And man, did the fans love me. They loved that I pulled out all of the stops. They loved that I risked my life and my body for the opportunity that lied ahead.. They loved that I was willing to do ANYTHING to get respect.

But the OOWF didn't love me. No, they loved people like Microplay and The Underdawg. People such as Gimmickman, and Hellion. Wrestlers such as Blade, Hardbody Harris, and Brad The Biscuit Smoley.

Do any of those names ring any bells? Of course. Depending on who you ask they are either some of the greatest legends in OOWF history or some of the biggest jobbers in OOWF history. But they all have one thing in common. Look around in the OOWF halls. In the locker rooms. On your latest OOWF house show card. You see any of those guys around?

I don't. They're long gone. All of them. You see, they weren't dependable. They were pushed as the company's finest, but they weren't. I was. And the fact that I got the shaft because I didn't know someone backstage or because my name wasn't the big name known all around the world. No, I was great. I was better than all of them. But I wasn't never given a chance.

A lot of things have happened since the OOWF debut and the point where we are at now. I was in a tag team. Thrown together in a random tag team with Carl Coolname. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But we put on some damn good matches. That's all I cared about. Putting on a damn good show. But right before me and Carl were set to win the Tag Team Titles, Carl left. You see, he didn't have any faith in me either. He left because his confidence was waning and he didn't want to be associated with me, despite the fact that I was the most insanely talented wrestler anywhere near the OOWF.

So, I floundered around in the low-card for the longest time until the Onslaught Division was formed. And that was my chance. You see, originally, Onslaught Championship wrestling was all about PURE wrestling. It was like ROH's Pure Championship and the WCW TV Title. It was about pure wrestling and there was a time limit. It wasn't about gimmick matches, it was just about two athletes putting on a damn good show. So I got in line, I got my shot, and I would say that I did a damn good job. I won the title shortly afterwards, and I made my mark on the OOWF.

Hell, I did too good a job. The OOWF saw how great I was. Even though I was "the bad guy" the fans loved my matches. But the OOWF didn't want that. You see, they had a vested interest in keeping the old guard on top for the longest time. They didn't like that my Onslaught Championship reign was the longest in history up to that point. They wanted to screw me over. Just like they did in the begining, just like they did with Carl. So, I was stripped of my title and I moved divisions in what has to be the dumbest reason to strip someone of a title in the history of professional wrestling. Sure, they were moving me to the Intercontinental Division, but at that point, my reign as Onslaught Champion made the IC division a 3rd tier division. And I didn't care much for it.

Sure, the OOWF tried to make me happy, put me back in the Onslaught title hunt, and I won it just as fast as I did last time, but then they did something that pisses me off to this very day. They put me in the ring with Jim Jones. JIM JONES. Let me ask you something, who the fuck is Jim Jones, and why the fuck was he in the ring with me? That was basically the last straw. I lost my title and I lost all hope of ever doing anything in this company because there were other agendas that needed to be pushed. I stayed around, finished my contract out like a good soldier, and went away. I took 10 long, beautiful months off, and I needed everyone one of them.

Why do I tell that story? Because those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And my history is clear. I'm damn good, but I get screwed over from every angle and from every point.

It won't happen again. I won't let it happen again. No, you see, I've taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen.

Alex Darling wants to make me out as a hanger on. The ultimate lackey. Someone who lives in the past and needs others to do his dirty work.

You're mistaken, Alex. That's not me at all.

Let me make one thing clear about me. I'm no lackey. It's the reason I wouldn't sign with your fucking agency in the first place. Am I Moose's lackey? No. Hell no. Am I friends with The Dead? No. Again, hell no. I work with those people the same way I worked with you. There's no alliance. There's no friendship. There's no contracts. Just business. That's all. You know there's no love lost between me and The Dead. We fucking hate each other. You know that there's nothing I like about Moose. He's a fucking psychopath. It's nothing but business. The important thing to me right now? Getting the Onslaught Title. And if I have to play nice with Moose or with Dead or with you to get there, then I'll do it.

You're good Darling. You point out flaws but don't point out strengths. You point out that all I'm likely to talk about is what I accomplished in the past. Well you are absolutely right. I haven't accomplished a damn thing since I've gotten here because I've been too busy holding your fucking hand and making sure Davin Moreland didn't kill you.

The funny thing is, I see a lot of me in you, Darling. You're impressive. You, too, look like you're going to be screwed by the establishment. It looks like everyone is getting a chance but you. Yeah, I've been there. I'm symphathize with you. You've got to really make an impact. It's hard when it seems like no one gives a crap.

We're up agaisnt each other this week, Darling. Of course you know this. You gave my sledgehammer back in "entertaining" fashion. I call it being cowardly. I'll call a spade a spade, and you're a coward. That's all you've done since you've been here Darling. Backstage attack after backstage attack, after backstage attack.

They don't hand out Titles for backstage attacks.

You can attack me all you want, Darling. My scars will heal. You see this?

*Eric points at his bandage holding his cut together.*

The scar will heal. And we're still going to have a match, Your backstage attack proves nothing except the fact that you're a pussy.

I'm a loser? You've havent been around long enough to judge me as that or not. Fact is, in your time here, I've, more or less done just as much as you. Which makes you a loser too. A pathetic loser.

I'm about entertainment. Make no mistake about it. But there's a time for gimmicks and there's a time to put all of that bullshit behind so I can get to what I want.

There's a Pay-Per-View this Sunday. Davin Moreland has offered me a title shot. I accept and I want my shot then. But this is more than taking title shots. This is about perserving my dignity. This is about gaining my respect back. This is about proving myself to the OOWF...one last time.

As for Alexander Darling, leave your lackeys at the door, leave your piles of money, and I'll see you in the ring. I'm going to take you to the limit. We're going to have the match that most wrestlers dream of. It's going to be entertainment at its best.

But don't get pissy when your bat isn't there to help you. Don't be a little bitch when your lackeys can't help you from the pain you'll endure. You'll think my promo is boring, but you best pay attention. This is the best advice you'll ever get: Stay the fuck out of my way. You can call me The E. You can call me Eric O'Mac.

But at the end of the night, you'll call me the winner. And at the end of the pay-per-view, you'll call me the Onslaught Champion.

Not because of my history. My history proves I have experience with dipshits like you. But that won't be why you'll lose. You'll lose because I say you will. I'm better. It's that simple.

It's not personal, Alex. It's business. My business is about winning my title. It's about regaining my status as elite. Whether you like it or not, I will get your respect.

See you tomorrow. Bitch.

*End promo.*

This promo lead into what I consider a match of the year candidate. It also perfectly illustrates what drives Eric in the Bennett/Rick war.

Awesome job Eric!

Next we have a hilarious heel turn from Blitz. Setting up this promo was a magnificent idea from FF doing a Team Bennett mixer with special guest Billy Zabka! That lead to one I wrote for a Team Rick mixer with special guest Michale Winslow! From there we pick up Blitz's promo.

___________________
TO ALL MEMBERS OF TEAM NEUTRAL,
YOU ARE ALL MOST CORDIALLY INVITED
TO BLITZ'S LOCKER-ROOM
FOR A TEAM NEUTRAL MIXER.
WITH SPECIAL GUEST
HOLLYWOOD'S GINA LYNN!
COME TONIGHT FOR FOOD, DRINKS AND GOOD TIMES!

AND

HOLLYWOOD'S GINA LYNN!!!
___________________________

*Blitz is waiting in his locker-room for guests to arrive.*

B: Ah, The Nerve Agent and Voltage. Splendid to see you here tonight.

V: …

TNA: …

B: I hope we’ve put all our past issues aside, Nerve, so we can enjoy this Team Neutral Mixer.

TNA: …

B: Not much of a talker, hey? Well, I hope you can at least appreciate the universal language of food, drinks and pornography that shall be on display tonight.

*Gina Lynn and Well Hung Male Pornstar#1 arrives and start acting out a scene. Justin Sane enters the room.*

JS: Dudes, I heard there was a party going on. Jerry Lynn was going to be here, I heard?

B: No, but she is.

JS: That’s even better.

*Mark Vander ambles in and takes a seat to watch the action. The Nerve Agent and Voltage are paying no attention to the entertainment, and both of them are eating as if they haven’t had any food in days.*

B: How nice of you to come, Mark. Now I think the Neutrals need to talk strategy.*

MV: …

JS: You know, watching live porn isn’t as good as I thought it would be.

B: …

JS: …

B: Well I trust you must at least have some narcotics to liven up this party.

JS: Nah dude, I’m off that shit.

B: Well that sucks, I mean good for you.

*Gina is spreading her ass cheeks, which Blitz and Sane find rather disgusting when viewed close-up. WHMP1 is preparing to spear her ass, when Beast pops out of Gina’s ass and spears WHMP1! Gina screams and runs away while WHMP1 is very winded, still lying on the floor.*

Blitz: That motherfucker scares me.

*Beast gores the locker-room wall, and takes out Poe, who was walking by and was presumably on his way in. Beast gets up and runs away, running into more walls.*

Blitz: And I thought he was dead. Random British Butler, come here! Where is Gaelic Storm?

RBB: In a pub sir, they say they can’t be bothered with you losers.

B: What’s a pub?

RBB: A shopping-mall.

*Tytan enters.*

Dr: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.

J: Hey dude.

DR: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.

*Mark Vander, The Nerve Agent and Voltage have all stopped moving.*

B: So I guess it’s just you and me, Justin. Justin?

*Justin Sane is furtively trying to wrestle a mop. The mop strikes him in the groin and rolls him up for 3.*

B: Aww, fuck this, I’m going to accept Team Bennet’s offer. Butler, please allow these gentlemen to stay, but have them all cleared out before Mayhem starts.

Dr: Ultimo. Perfection. War. Steroids.
*Blitz makes his way towards the Mobile Fortress of Snobbery. As he steps in, Ryan Hardcore immediately smashes his head with the steel dildo.*

RH: Intruder! Attack!

FFM: Ah, let’s teach these Neutral Invaders a lesson.

*Everyone in the room attacks Blitz, except The Dead, who doesn’t want his tag team partner this week to get injured, although he makes no move to stop everyone from beating up Blitz, and Moose and LJ Bennet, who know that Blitz is probably there to join Team Bennet.*

LJB: Stop you crazy bastards, he’s with us!

*No-one pays any attention as MacCappington hacks away with his Halberd. Moose calmly steps between Team Bennet and Blitz.*

MHJ: Gentlemen, I do believe that Blitz came here to join Team Bennet.

*Everyone calms down, but Blitz is already unconscious after taking dildos, Halberds and Chain Elbows.*

DV: So he’s with us now?

MHJ: Unless he minds being brutally attacked for no reason by men who are supposed to be his allies.

*Everyone looks down at Blitz, who is in no shape to confirm where his alliances lie.*

That was funny as hell Blitz! Good Job!

This next promo shows more Photoshop goodness. This time from Bunny!
Click the link to read the promo.

Up next... Well there are certainly more. Including some a few of you may have liked from me.

I will post them here later.

I would just like for you guys to know that I read all the promos posted here. Rarely do I skim over someone's post. If they take the time to write it, the least I can do is read it. I may not throw out an Exalt! often, but know that I've very much enjoyed everything that I've read here so far. I've said it before and it bears repeating... the OOWF is wonderful creative outlet for me. It's a desire of mine to see it become something more... but, I won't get too much into that.

I still have a few favorites of mine left that I would like to submit for contention

Until then... Happy Promoing! <Is that a word...? Promoing?>

[Jack Quinn]

going through the old posts, this one would still count since it was after September 1 (the awards eligibility are September 1 - September 1)

Who's On First, OOWF Style

[Jack Quinn]

when we are considering the nominations for promo of the year, make sure you check out the June 18th thread, we all really brought our A game there. The bus rides, prison, Animal House, it was great

[Jack Quinn]

some stuff from OO that I noticed while I was moving posts (from the Memory Jogger thread over there)

Gimmick of the Year - I'm calling it now. A heel wrestling in a bunny suit. Simply untouchable. - Tommy
***************************

Promo of the Year

No need to bookmark anything else for this category. - Mike
****************************

Mike, you must be talking about Blown Spot's poker promo (featuring Viper) or my promo where Viper beats up Rabbxt. - Viper
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Match of the Year

I heard people liked the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship Unification Match, with Alexander Darling vs. Moosehead Jack vs. Rabbxt. I thought that Eric O'Mac vs. Alexander Darling was good. I know I had some other candidates a few weeks ago, but they've slipped my mind.

Gimmick of the Year

I'm liking Tommy's choice on this one. - Bunny
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MOTY

P&L/Def from End Of Days - Phantos & Lucios

OBJ/Moreland - 2nd Round Champions Bracket Invitational Tournament

Also: Capellan/Rabbxt from Round 1 (I think) from the invitational - Tommy
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Originally posted by firewoman
Dunno where this should go, nomination wise, but this had me laughing my ass off in my office

Ric Flair runs over

Ric: “Whooooo what the hell are you doing?”

Seamus still holding the hotdog, slaps Ric across the face

JR: “Flair’s been cut wide open…”

thread is here:

www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=20839&page=1

- Firewoman
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Tooting my own horn (since noone else here will)

Promo Of the Year

www.oowrestling.com/OOForums/viewthread.php?tid=20778

P&L Title Ceremony featuring Robert Gibson, Ricky Morton, Ty Detmer, Stan Lane, Bobby Eaton, Dennis Condrey, Arn Anderson, Rick Neuheisel, Red McCombs, Indra K. Nooyi, David Robinson, Susan Lucci, Road Dogg Jesse James, Shawn Michaels, Stormy Daniels, Ken Jennings, The Spirits of Gorilla Monsoon & Gordon Solie.

First promo of the Thread

Match of the year

natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=777

First match of the card - Phantos & Lucios

natecorbitt.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=oowf&action=display&thread=2298&page=2

Blown spot's epic faces kick the heels' asses. - Firewoman