[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Taipei, Taiwan

TYTAN vs. SUM PHAT HO

Sum Phat Ho, the Taiwanese Wrestling All-star Titleholder waits in the ring. He is a local worker making his first appearance in the OOWF. Tytan, accompanied by Dr. Diana Podvod, makes his way to the ring. This is Tytan’s OOWF debut and he looks like quite the physical specimen. Sum Phat Ho attacks as Tytan gets into the ring, but his shots have very little effect. SPT tries to whip Tytan to the ropes, but Tytan reverses it and nearly decapitates SPH with a clothesline. Tytan pulls SPH to his feet and pulls him toward him and nails a short arm clothesline, but doesn’t let go of his arm, he jerks him back to his feet and right up onto his shoulders where he drives him to the mat with a Samoan drop. SPH writhes in pain on the mat, but Tytan looks down at him with complete indifference on his face. Tytan slowly reaches down and pulls him to his feet and traps SPH’s arms and repeatedly slams him in the face with head buts. Tytan releases him and SPH staggers backward a bit, and Tytan spins around and nails SPH right in the solar plexus with a palm strike that sends him falling back into the corner. Tytan gets a running start and charges into the corner and drives a knee into SPH’s face. Tytan pulls SPH up and scoops him up and ties him in the tree of woe and unleashes a barrage of punches and kicks to the helpless Taiwanese wrestler, beating him mercilessly until the referee steps in and threatens disqualification. Tytan release SPH and pulls him to his feet again and sets him on the top rope, then climbs to the second rope and hits the CRASH AND BURN (half nelson slam). SPH hits the mat and is clearly out of it, Tytan could get the pin at any time, but he decides to toy with him a little more. Tytan hauls SPH to his feet then lifts him for a vertical suplex and holds him there with one arm long enough for him to think about the pain he is about to feel, then drops him forward onto the top rope. As SPH hangs there on the ropes, Tytan nails him with a spinning elbow to the temple that sends Sum Phat Ho to the floor. Tytan backs away slowly as per the referee’s instructions, but Diana Podvod pulls SPH to his feet and rolls him under the bottom rope. Tytan looks out at Podvod and she nods slightly. Tytan pulls SPH to his feet and sets him on the top rope, then climbs up after him and hits the ULTIMO ENDING (top rope power slam). Tytan STILL doesn’t go for the cover, instead he pulls him to his feet and locks him in the FULL NELSON! Tytan swings SPH around like he was a rag doll, and finally he goes limp and the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER in 3:21 - Tytan

ALEXIS DARLING vs. MUERTE

It’s time for the in-ring debut of an OOWF star that has made quite an impression outside the ring in their time with the company. And I am of course speaking about the lovely and mysterious Alexis Darling. In her first few months her, she had an iron-clad no contact clause written into her contract, but after the most recent events including the night that she wound up covered in blood her attitude has undergone a pretty drastic change. She’s gone from acting like a victim who was being played by the situations around her to the confident women we had heard stories about and is controlling the situations. But the question is how will she control the following situation as she faces Mexican sensation El Muerte. And here he comes to some random generic Spanish remix of “El Infierno de Dante.” The top of the entrance ramp explodes and El Muerte appears within the resulting smoke. He is head banging as he makes his way down the ramp. The crowd is booing, but he seems not to care as he is rocking out. He jumps up onto the apron, yells at a few members of the audience, and then leaps into the ring. He stands on one of the turnbuckles facing the entrance as he awaits his opponent.

“There’s Nothing Like a Trail of Blood to Find Your Way Back Home” plays over the sound system before the lights get low and the red spotlight focuses on the entrance. “Life is Beautiful” by Sixx AM starts and Alexis Darling steps out from the back wearing tight black leather pants with red patterns down the legs. She also has on a red shirt with the same patterns in black. The reaction is quite mixed for Alexis as this part of the world still holds a grudge from the Poe situation, but they’re also a respectful fan-base and they appreciate the talent of Alexis Darling. Firewoman comes out with Alexis Darling as we’ve heard word from the back that she won the very, very tense rock/paper/scissors match with Alexander Darling for this privilege. The two members of Run DEA make it to the ring and in a shocking display; Firewoman holds the ropes open to allow Alexis to enter the ring. Firewoman stands on the apron and goes over some last minute strategy before the ref calls Alexis over to the center of the ring. The ref goes over some last minute instructions to both combatants before sending em back to their corners. But before the ref can send them to their respective corners El Muerte decides it’d be the perfect time to slap the taste out of Alexis’ mouth. Her head snaps back and the crowd gets eerily silent for a moment as Alexis wipes her mouth and sees a very small amount of blood. She turns back to face Muerte and the look on her face is priceless. She is basically laughing at Muerte and has a huge grin on her face as she backs into her corner. She cracks her knuckles and then her neck as the masked Muerte continues to keep his eyes on Alexis Darling. They get to their corners and the ref calls for the bell to get this match started.

They both charge towards the center of the ring for the collar-and-elbow tie up. Muerte has the power advantage, but Alexis is using her flexibility and leverage to keep the lock up at a stalemate. El Muerte is really trying to push his strength edge here and it costs him as Alexis goes with the push and drops down and hits a nice arm drag on EM. Muerte looks a little shocked as he gets back to his feet and charges at Alexis, another arm drag and this one had some snap to it. EM didn’t learn his lesson as he goes for another charge and Alexis side-steps him and executes a drop toe-hold. She drops down with El Muerte, floats over, and gets EM into the Rings of Saturn. Muerte still has too much fight though as he powers out of the submission move and Alexis rolls off him and retreats to her corner. El Muerte slams the mat in frustration while Firewoman nods in satisfaction on the outside.

Muerte gets back to his feet and calls for Alexis to lock up again in the center of the ring, but it’s a mistake on her part as EM catches her with a knee to the stomach as she goes for collar-and-elbow. That’s a mistake caused by inexperience and it allows El Muerte to go on the offense. He takes Alexis over in a snap mare and plants a hard kick right to Alexis spine that rocks her forward. EM runs in the same direction, bounces off the ropes and hits a very innovative low leg lariat right to the top of Alexis’ head. Darling is stunned as Muerte picks her up by the hair and sends her into the ropes. Alexis bounds off and El Muerte times it perfectly and hits a picturesque FrankenMuerte on Alexis. He goes for the cover…1….2….no, Alexis slides a shoulder out. EM stays on the attack and hits a scoop slam in the center of the ring. He stands with his back next to Alexis and seems to be readying himself for a standing moonsault. He goes for it, but as he does so Alexis spins a little on the ground and spreads her legs…yes, she’s spreading her legs…and she catches Muerte as he comes down in a rear-naked choke.

EM is shocked for a second, but quickly flips backwards over Alexis into a pinning combination, but he only gets two as Alexis bridges up showing an amazing amount of flexibility. She holds onto Muerte in the choke position and now she shows a great deal of hidden strength as she gets EM up in the air and tosses him up enough to move to the side and plant him with a kick as he comes back toward the mat. Muerte is staggered and Alexis charges him and they do that lucha move where Alexis winds up hitting Muerte with a head-scissors. EM up to his feet and charges Darling; she holds her ground and drops Matrix-like and tosses Muerte over her head in a nice belly-to-belly release suplex. Alexis continues her Matrix-like move and winds up in a handstand position as Muerte tries to recover. He staggers to his feet and walks right into Alexis waiting legs as she snaps him over and he lands right on his head. That’s some impressive leg strength from Alexis Darling as she gets back to her feet. She runs at Muerte who’s just getting to his knees…SHINING WIZARD. Covers…

1…
2…
Kick out.

Alexis picks up Muerte and hits a quick snap suplex. She drags him over near the corner as she heads up to the top rope. She goes for a senton splash, but Muerte gets his knees up at the last second. Both wrestlers are down as the ref starts the 10 count. He gets to 6 before Muerte is up to a vertical base. He heads over and grabs Alexis and tries to whip her into the ropes, reversal, EM bounces off the ropes, leap frog by Alexis, Muerte continues towards the ropes and jumps up off the second rope. Moonsault and he winds up catching Alexis in one fluid motion for an inverted DDT. He goes for the cover…this could be it…

1…
2…
And no…at the last millisecond Alexis barely kicks out.
Muerte is frustrated and he slaps the mat trying to figure out his next move. It looks like he’s decided on something as he drags Alexis near the corner. He faces the corner and jumps up, SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT. He crawls over to Alexis…makes another cover…

1…
2…
And Darling barely gets her leg over the bottom rope.

El Muerte is really frustrated now that he can’t put Alexis away and it costs as he attempts to pick up Alexis Darling for a power bomb…and as everyone should know…YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB LEXIE. Face plant on Muerte. It takes a few seconds but it looks like AD is getting her second wind as she kips up and in one fluid motion cartwheels over into an elbow-drop right to the base of Muerte’s neck. Alexis is really feeling it now as she jumps back up to her feet and walks around to El Muerte’s feet, she gets him into position…CURBSTOMP on Muerte. She rolls him over…covers…1…2…and no, he rolls a shoulder before the ref hits the 3rd time. She picks him up again and lifts him up…Alexis is going for the AIR-RAID CRASH. But there’s a commotion on the outside of the ring. The Dead has made his way to ringside and has jumped up on the apron to distract the ref and/or Alexis. Alexis ignore him at first and plants Muerte with the CRASH as Firewoman runs around the outside of the ring to get to Dead, but she’s cut off as a flying BLITZ jumps off the guardrail and hits FW with a flying clothesline. FW is down and The Dead is still distracting the ref as the crowd half cheers/half boos as Alexander Darling makes his way out from the back.

He’s running down the aisle but he stops in his tracks as Selena Gomez jumps out from the crowd and stands directly in his path…almost daring him to hit her. She just stands there as she baits him to make a move…Alexander is motioning towards the ring where we see The Dead slowly stalking around the apron as Alexis’s attention is being cut in two by Muerte and Dead. The ref is trying to get control outside the ring as Firewoman and Blitz are now brawling around the ringside area. Alexander has finally had enough of Selena and he picks her up and moves out of his way and goes flying down towards the ring but he’s going to be too late for what’s about to happen. Alexis had been keeping one eye on The Dead up until the point where El Muerte grabbed her to spin her around but out of instinct or something, Alexis jumped over and hit a beautiful PELE KICK. Out of habit, she went for the cover before realizing the ref was still on the outside. Alexis got up to tell him to get in the ring but as she did so she saw her brother running towards the ring and motioning something at her. She doesn’t understand what he’s trying to say so she goes back to looking for the ref and the very second she turns around The Dead CLOSES THE CASKET on her.

Alexis is down and Alexander is flying over the top rope into the ring and hits a THESZ PRESS on the Dead. He is lighting TD up with punches and not letting up at all. Dead is trying to cover up but Alexander is a man of rage right now and TD is definitely feeling the effects of those punches. Alex doesn’t let up at all as he picks Dead up…BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAA. Dead is down and Alexander stands over him for a moment before turning around to go check on his sister, but as soon as he turns around…HEART PUNCH…where the fuck did Moosehead Jack come from. And Moose isn’t alone as he reaches down and picks up Alexander tosses him to the other new man in the ring; POE. Poe and Moose look like it’s time to toy with Alexander Darling as he recovers from the heart punch. They toss him back and forth once or twice before the lights dim…

“Walk This Way” kicks in and out from the back come flying the rest of Run DEA; Captain Phantos, Davin Moreland, Lucios, and Carl from Fresno are busting their asses towards the ring. Phantos and Lucios head off one way and start dealing with El Muerte and The Dead, Carl goes off and starts helping Firewoman with Blitz while Davin Moreland gets in the ring and gets right in Moosehead Jack’s face. Moose is seemingly giving him a “now what” look. Davin just laughs and throws a right hand at Moose. Returned by a left from Moose, a left from Davin, right from Moose and these two are just slugging it out. Meanwhile Poe goes to pick Alexander up and looks to hit another Crucifixion. He gets Darling up, but all of a sudden just drops him and we look down and we see that Alexis just went low on Poe. Alexander gets back to his feet and helps his sister up as well. They throw simultaneous kicks at Poe and kick him in the stomach. Double Darling DDT on Poe as they look over, they see Davin Moreland get crushed from behind by a chair holding Chris Cole, a chain having Tyson Kincaid, and a sledgehammer swinging Eric O’Mac.

Bennett’s men are taking over the ringside area now as AA is going right after Phantos and Lucios along with IHOP. Dead and Muerte use the break from Team Aquafina to head over and start going to attack Firewoman and Carl from Fresno. Inside the ring Eric O’Mac and Chris Cole are really going to work on Davin Moreland while Poe and Tyson Kincaid are starting to work over Alexander Darling. Moosehead Jack looks around at the carnage and smiles when he realizes Alexis is the only one left. As soon as Moose takes one step towards her “Front Line” by Pillar begins to play and out from the back, costumes and all come Concrete Takaken Gryfon, The Amnesiac, and Firechild. Crete heads right towards Moose and those two fall right back into old habits. Firechild goes right for Chris Cole and The Amnesiac heads for Tyson Kincaid. Everyone is pairing off and we seem to be at a stalemate, but the tide turns once again as LD Williams, Donovan Viper, and TWGFT come out of the woodwork, but they barely make an impression as Drink & Destroy and The Gaelic Storm come flying out of the back as well.

This Place Is Armageddon….THERE WAS A CLUSTERFUCK…

We’ve got to take a break folks while we try and get some order here. The official word of course is a No Contest.
WINNER in 9:02 is NO CONTEST.

IHOP vs. THE NERVE AGENT & VOLTAGE

Nerve and Voltage wait in the ring while IHOP come to the top of the ramp accompanied by the lovely and talented Dorothy Mantooth. SYB climbs between the ropes and walks right up to Voltage, then go nose to considerable nose, and SYB hauls off and slaps Voltage across the face! Voltage gets to his feet and glares at SYB and grabs him by the throat, but Skurge charges across the ring and HAMMERS Voltage in the back of the head with an elbow that sends Voltage to the mat. SYB looks pretty proud of himself as Skurge leaves the ring, and he puts the boots to Voltage, before pausing to remind the crowd how great he is. Voltage regains his composure a bit and grabs SYB in the TESTICULAR CLAW!!! SYB howls in pain and dances around the ring finally making the tag to Skurge, who comes in and catches Volt with a knee to the side of the head that ends that. SYB falls out of the ring and snatches someone’s drink and dumps it out in his hand and tries to put the ice on his groin. Not like he will be using it or anything. He tries to convince Mrs. Mantooth to massage it, but she just looks at him like he is insane. Back inside the ring, Skurge scoops Voltage up and plants him on the mat, then springs off the bottom rope and lands a perfect moonsault for a two count. Skurge pulls Voltage to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but he lowers his head a moment too soon and Voltage catches him with a DDT. Voltage makes the tag and Nerve comes into the ring and charges at Skurge, but he recovers enough from the DDT to catch him with a power slam. Skurge gets a two count before Voltage comes back in and breaks it up. Skurge pulls Nerve to his feet and takes him into the IHOP corner and tags in SYB. Skurge holds Nerves arms behind his back and SYB winds up for a big punch, then pokes Nerve in the eyes. As Nerve staggers around trying to get his vision back, SYB kicks him in the gut, then bounds off the ropes and takes him over with a swinging neck breaker. SYB pulls Nerve to his feet and grabs him by the head and runs toward the corner and hits the DREIDEL DROP! (acid drop) SYB covers and gets two before Voltage runs in and breaks it up. Skurge charges in and catches Voltage and spins him around, Voltage takes a wild swing, but Skurge ducks and catches him with a tiger suplex that nearly breaks Voltage’s neck. Volt rolls out of the ring to the floor and SYB And Skurge whip Nerve to the ropes and stop him with a double kicks to the gut, then set him up and hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER! SYB tags Skurge into the match and Skurge climbs to the top rope and waits for Nerve to struggle to his feet, as he does, Skurge leaps off the top rope just as SYB charges in and takes out Nerve’s legs as Skurge hits a lariat! They turn Nerve inside out, Skurge covers and gets the one, two, three!
WINNRS in 5:01 - IHOP

POE vs. TAIPEI VIPER

The masked Taipei Viper is another local worker looking to make his mark on those in charge of the OOWF. He faces a stiff task tonight though, facing the maniacal Poe, making his second appearance in the OOWF after a brutal tag match with Moosehead Jack against Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling last week. Poe comes to the ring and doesn’t even wait for the bell to ring, opting instead to attack Taipei Viper, backing him into the corner with kicks and punches. Poe beats TV down in the corner, then when the referee warns him, he grabs Taipei Viper by the throat and beils him across the ring. TV gets to his feet and immediately catches a boot to the face from a charging Poe. Taipei Viper is dazed, so Poe scoops him up and tosses him over his shoulder and drops him in the middle of the ring with a tombstone pile driver. Poe gets to his feet and looks around for a moment, then nonchalantly drops a leg across TV’s chest and sits there covering him. The referee makes the count, one, two, but Poe pulls him up at two. Poe yanks Taipei Viper to his feet and throws him into the corner and charges in with a clothesline, then sets Viper on the top rope and climbs to the second rope himself. Poe has Taipei Viper completely at his mercy. Poe hooks him for a superplex, then climbs to the top rope himself, he stands there looking out over the crowd as they cheer the impending move. After a few seconds Poe gets an evil look on his face and takes Taipei Viper and grabs him by the throat, lifts him into the air, and CHOKESLAMS HIM FROM THE TOP ROPE DOWN THROUGH A CONVEINTELY PLACED TABLE!!!! The crowd goes silent for a moment, then erupts into a HOLY SHIT chant as Poe stands on the top rope staring down at his work. Poe hops off the top rope and walks around the ring seemingly willing to take a count out loss. Suddenly Taipei Viper slides back into the ring, with a chair, and gets to his feet, as Poe turns around, Taipei Viper BLASTS him in the face with the chair! The referee immediately calls for the bell.
WINNER in 4:44 by Disqualification – Poe

After the match, Taipei Viper waits for Poe to get to his knees and repeatedly brings the chair down on Poe’s head, warping it and splitting Poe’s skull wide open. Blood is flowing down Poe’s face, but he has a maniacal grin on his face. Taipei Viper takes one more swing, cracking the chair off of Poe’s skull and he falls to the mat, stunned. Taipei Viper pulls Poe up and sets him up, CRUCIFIX BOMB! Poe is down! Taipei Viper gets to his feet and stands over Poe for a minute and behind him we see someone rolling into the ring and struggling to his feet, IT’S…….Taipei Viper? The second Taipei Viper turns around and blasts the first Taipei Viper in the face with the chair, sending him between the ropes and back to the floor. The second Taipei Viper then stands over Poe and pulls the mask off…..IT’S ALEXANDER DARLING! He gets a few more shots in before security escorts him out of the ring. Darling gets about halfway up the ramp when Poe does the Zombie Sit up of the Undead and leaves the ring and pursues him. Darling smirks and turns and heads to the back before Poe can catch up to him.

OUTBACK JACK vs. AMNESIAC vs. MARK VANDER

Jack and Amnesiac are in the ring, and Vander's just reached the floor outside, when LJ Bennett and Moosehead Jack appear at the top of the ramp. Amnesiac immediately clambers onto the middle rope and stands on it, challenging Bennett and his goon (or is it Moose and his figurehead?). Vander turns to see what reaction this gets. OBJ, watching his opponents get distracted, takes the opportunity. He steps in behind Amnesiac, and lifts the smaller man off the ropes. 'nesiac yells, causing Vander to turn back to the ring, which is when OBJ POWER-BOMBS AMNESIAC OVER THE TOP ROPE AND INTO VANDER ON THE FLOOR~! Both men are DEAD. Bennett and Moose applaud OBJ, but the big Australian merely flips them the bird and tells the ref to start a ten count. The official, however, points out that the match hasn't started yet, since the bell never went, so no count applies. So Jack heads outside and manhandles Amnesiac into the ring, occasionally shooting glances at Moose and Bennett to make sure they aren't interfering. Once Amnesiac is inside, OBJ turns his attention to Vander, but the heavier man is just so much dead weight, and it takes several long seconds for Jack to life him into position – seconds in which Amnesiac has recovered! The masked luchador scales the turnbuckle just as OBJ pushes Vander inside ... Frog Splash to the floor~! Vander's inside, OBJ and Amnesiac are down on the floor, and the match STILL hasn't even started. Vander's the first to recover, and now he too heads outside, pulling OBJ to his feet. But Jack's recovered somewhat from the frog splash and the two men start brawling on the outside. OBJ gets the upper hand and whips Vander into the guardrails, but before he can capitalize, a recovered Amnesiac races across ringside, launches himself off the steel steps, and hurricanrana's the big man head first into the floor! Amnesiac pops back up, and Vander immediately lariats the luchador into next week! The official, meanwhile, vainly yells for the three men to climb inside the ring, but what's he going to do? The match hasn't even started, so he can't count them out. Vander pulls up a limp Amnesiac and sets for a, but OBJ sneaks in behind him: DOUBLE RELEASE SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR~! But Amnesiac lands on his feet! OBJ up on one knee – SHINING WIZARD by Amnesiac~! Now Vander's up on one knee too, and Amnesiac looks for another shining wizard, but his canny opponent dodges and slingshots the luchador into the steel steps! All three men are down, and now LJ Bennett has the mic!

Bennett: "I keep telling you boys! If you aren't with me, you're against me!"

Moose gestures to the backstage, and the World's Greatest Fag Team come charging out. Moose, MacCappington and Hardcore charge down to ringside and start to lay the boots into Amnesiac, but Vander and OBJ recover and leap into the fray! A six-man donnybrook breaks out, and the long-suffering official throws the whole match out!
WINNER – NO CONTEST in 9:32.

BUNNY vs. KNIFE

Bunny's music hits as he bursts through the curtain to a great reaction from the crowd. He jumps onto his hands and runs down the ramp. He gets to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. He flippity-flops around the ring for a little bit until Knife comes out onto the stage. Bunny keeps bouncing around the ring, while Knife slowly walks towards him. Knife steps onto the apron and then through the ropes, interrupting Bunny's foolishness with a stiff boot to the face. Bunny is able to keep his string of flips going by selling the boot with a back flip onto his face. Knife grabs Bunny and throws him into the ropes. Bunny hits the ropes and grabs onto them to avoid the rebound. Knife runs at him, but Bunny jumps up and drags Knife to the outside of the ring with a modified huracanrana. Knife splats on the floor and Bunny hops right back onto the apron. With Knife just getting to his feet, Bunny goes for an Asai Moonsault. Knife catches Bunny on his shoulder and runs him into the steel ring post. He turns around and slams Bunny onto the floor with a front powerslam. He gets to his feet and is back in the ring, while the referee begins counting. Bunny, who won't be kept down with a simple power slam, is on his feet at 5, and is back in the ring at 6. Knife immediately goes on the attack with a series of stomps and kicks, backing Bunny into a corner. Knife drops to his knees and starts pounding on Bunny with right after left, over and over again. He grabs Bunny by the ears and yanks him to his feet. Bunny gets thrown halfway across the ring by his ears, then grabs them to make sure they are still connected. Knife comes running, and Bunny takes him down with a simple leg trip. He floats over and gets Knife in a side headlock. Knife struggles to his feet, and Bunny keeps the hold locked in. Knife picks Bunny up for a back suplex, but Bunny flips onto his feet, then jumps up and hits a standing reverse huracanrana. Knife is spiked on the top of his head. Bunny takes the chance and leaps up to the top rope. Mountain Dew on Tap! Bunny covers, 1-2... Knife kicks out. Bunny climbs to the top rope again and tries to finish Knife off with a Bunny Hole! Knife gets the knees up and Bunny hits hard. He rolls to the outside of the ring to recover. Knife is on his feet and nears the side of the ring. He grabs the ropes and launches himself over them! He nails Bunny, gets to his feet, and pushes Bunny back into the ring. He rolls in and goes for the cover, but Bunny kicks out. Knife rolls Bunny onto his stomach and locks him in a bow and arrow, working on the injured back. With Knife's shoulders down, the referee is forced to count. 1, 2... Knife tosses Bunny between the lower and middle rope. He rolls out after him, but Bunny ducks a punch and slides back into the ring. Knife turns around into a baseball slide, knocking him back into the guardrail. Bunny runs the ropes for momentum, then cartwheels across the ring before flipping over the top rope. Knife runs out of the way and Bunny slams onto the guardrail! Knife pulls Bunny off the railing and pushes him into the ring. He steps onto the apron and climbs to the top rope. He hits a Bunny with a hard senton splash, then hooks the leg. Bunny still manages to hang on. Knife pulls him to his feet for a German suplex, but Bunny back flips to his feet and nails a nice dropkick to the back of Knife's head. Knife stumbles forward and Bunny takes him down at the knees. He rolls him over and drags him to the middle of the ring. He heads to the top rope, then dives off it, landing in a one-handed handstand on Knife's face. Knife is in pain, his nose being pressed into the back of his brain with the Hand plant. He is almost close to thinking a little about tapping out, but realizes that he can simply turn to his side and Bunny will become off-balanced and fall to the mat, releasing the hold. Knife goes for the turn, but Bunny somehow manages to keep the hold locked in. Oh, he's kind of just laying on the mat, holding onto Knife's face. Knife swats Bunny's hand away and yells at him for being a sinner and a homosexual, which Bunny takes offense to. "I am not a sinner!" Knife gets to his feet and hits a stiff kick to the side of Bunny's face. He rolls him over and curbstomps the Hell out of Bunny, literally. He keeps Bunny's arms locked and hits a series of curbstomps, before hitting the final and most devastating one. Bunny is out and is bleeding from the, uh, mouth section of his mask. Knife pulls him up to his feet and goes for a pile driver, but Bunny flips onto Knife's shoulders and spins around and floats into a DDT. Knife is dazed and Bunny slowly pulls himself to the top rope. He turns around and goes for the Bunnysault! Knife rolls out of the way to avoid the impact. Luckily, Bunny completes the double back flip and lands on his feet. Knife gets to his feet and runs at Bunny, who stops him with a kick to the gut. He gets Knife in a double underhook and goes for the Bunny Driver! Knife over-rotates the move and lands on his feet, while Bunny lands on his back. Bunny's shoulders are down and the referee counts. 1... Knife grabs the middle rope. 2... 3! Knife gets the win and quickly slides to the outside before anyone gets a clue of what happened.
WINNER in 8:19 - Knife

FIRECHILD, PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. THE DEAD & THE WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM

Angelo Barros is YOUR referee!

Firechild and The Dead start, circling slowly. Dead seems a little wild-eyed as the two lock up for the first time. Dead takes the early advantage and pushes FC to a neutral corner, where ref Barros calls for a break. Dead backs up slowly, but the instant Firechild looks up The Dead SLAPS him! FC pushes out of the corner and marches after The Dead, who quickly ducks into the ropes. FC grabs for him anyway, ignoring how close he is to the heel corner. While Barros is giving FC a 5-count, Ryan takes a swipe at Firechild. He lets The Dead go at 4 and swings back at Ryan, but is then stalled as FFM looks wayyy down at him. FC takes a step or two back and is ambushed by Dead. FC tumbles into the heel corner and Dead tags FFM in. FFM legs over the rope and stomps on FC (The Dead helps for a few seconds). FFM then hauls FC to his feet and puts him to the ropes to sling him across. FC tries to reverse the whip but only ends up reversing field, and landing a meaningless clothesline on FFM. The rich man smirks as he lets FC try again, to no avail. FC backs up for another try and FFM turns his back to Firechild. Incensed, FC backs up to have Lucios blind-tag himself in, and FC whips Lucios into FFM with a flying tackle! The two giants hit the mat hard and just start brawling. Crowd cheers and stomps their feet as the two big men pound each other down. Lucios has the advantage and gets FFM back to his feet and whips him to a neutral corner. He charges in and splatters FFM in the corner with a splash, then whips him to the opposite corner to repeat. FFM staggers out of the corner for a moment and Lucios winds up for a HEADBUTT. FFM staggers back toward his corner and tags in Ryan Hardcore. Lucios makes the mistake of charging right into the heels' corner and Hardcore kicks Lucios in the gut. FFM stays in and they both pound away at the big man. Phantos climbs into the ring and Barros shoos him back to his corner. Ryan CLAPS LOUD over his head, incensing Phantos AND Firechild! FFM looks right at Phantos and kicks Lucios "high in the chest". Phantos backs up, simmering with rage. Ryan climbs back in and follows FFM's lead, stomping on Lucios and using the ropes to pin Lucios to the mat in the corner, a foot on Lucios' neck. Crowd is booing heartily and Phantos is screaming to his partner to get up. Barros gets Ryan to release Lucios at 4 but Lucios can be seen gasping for breath. Ryan taunts Phantos and FC, making gagging gestures and stagging comically (while FFM is standing on Lucios' neck) and Barros is keeping Phantos from climbing in and absolutely MURDERING Ryan. Ryan swaggers back to his corner and drags Lucios back to the center of the ring and CHOKES him some more, looking right at Phantos! Barros admonishes Ryan for the choking, but he protests (with his shin conveniently over Lucios' neck) and draws yet ANOTHER five count. Ryan stands up again, shrugs, and covers. 1, 2, Phantos STOMPS on Ryan's lower back! Ryan's on his feet in a flash and Barros is separating them as well, and just as he pushes them clear Firechild levels Ryan with a SPRINGBOARD MISSLE DROPKICK! This prompts FFM and The Dead to enter the ring, and the PIER SIX BRAWL IS ON! Barros gives them all room, begging them to break it up, but his pleas fall on deaf ears! FC throws The Dead out of the ring! Phantos runs Ryan Hardcore over the same side and he flattens The Dead! Lucios clotheslines FFM over the top rope and he falls to the floor (Ryan and The Dead weren't even going to TRY and catch him!).

The faces celebrate, then Lucios points to the heels on the floor. The crowd roars and Lucios whips Firechild toward them! NO HANDS SOMERSAULT SUICIDE PLANCHA!
Lucios stands and the ropes and vaults Phantos out of the ring! CORKSCREW SUICIDE PLANCHA ON THE RECOVERING HEELS!

Lucios points to the floor and the crowd roars louder. Lucios hits the ropes for his own SUPERMAN SUICIDE PLANCHA!

Crowd Explodes as the giant luchadore clears the ropes with ease, and Barros is standing at the ropes shaking his head. FC is already on his feet beating on The Dead and Lucios is posing for the crowd. Phantos would be doing the same, but is frozen outside the ring as Ryan Hardcore is thrashing on the mat, holding his throat. He backs away from Ryan, unable to return to the ring. Lucios reaches for Hardcore but Phantos blocks his path and he asks the ref to check on him. Barros climbs out of the ring as the crowd calms, and FFM and The Dead walk back over to see what's going on. Firechild sees what's happening and tells Lucios to put Hardcore back in the ring and finish the match, but Barros will not allow anyone to move Ryan Hardcore! the "X" goes up and Phantos drops to his knees. Barros goes up the ramp to wave down other officials, but as Lucios walks past Ryan Hardcore he gets an UPPERNUT from the faking heel! Lucios crumples, but Phantos doesn't see why. Firechild DOES see this and attacks Hardcore. Barros and the referees drag Firechild away and DQ his team for attacking an injured wrestler!
WINNERS By DQ in 17:11: The Dead, F. Fonzworth MacCappington III and Ryan Hardcore

After the match, FFM and The Dead shoo the referees away to help their "Injured comrade" to the back. If you look closely, Ryan Hardcore is laughing.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. CARL FROM FRESNO

Carl From Fresno is announced and he comes to the ring accompanied by Lucios, but Phantos is suspicious by his absence. They climb into the ring and Lucios gives Carl some last minute advice as Attitude Adjuster is announced. AA comes out to the top of the ramp and he is seconded by the World’s Greatest Fag Team. Yeah there is no chance that this one is going to get out of control. AA climbs between the ropes and stares at Lucios, then reaches up and grabs his throat. Lucios slowly turns his head away and shakes it. We hear him yell “it was an accident!” but AA isn’t buying it. The referee calls for the bell and AA darts in and tries to attack Carl while he is distracted by Hardcore, but Carl catches him at the last minute and stops AA dead in his tracks with a kick to the gut. Carl backs AA to the ropes and whips him across the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. AA hits the mat and lets out a scream of pain. Carl waits for AA to get to his feet then grabs him and PLANTS him on the mat with a choke slam. Carl hops back to his feet and taunts MacCappington and Hardcore daring them to come into the ring. AA gets to his feet and grabs Carl and spins him around, but Carl grabs AA by the throat and lifts him off the mat and PLANTS him on the mat! AA rolls to the safety of Hardcore and MacCappington and tries to regroup while Carl remains in the middle of the ring playing to the fans. AA sneaks back into the ring and grabs Carl from behind and hits the Randy Orton backbreaker. Carl writhes in pain on the mat, AA gets to his feet and immediately points to Lucios on the outside and taunts him with a pelvic thrust Rick Rude would be proud of. Lucios looks annoyed and jumps up on the ring apron, this gives AA the chance to pull Carl up and hang him on the top rope throat first. MacCappington climbs on the apron and holds Carl’s head on the top rope, then leaps off the apron sending Carl flying back into the ring, gasping for breath. AA bounds off the ropes and drops the knee right across Carl’s forehead, then sits him up and locks him in a side head lock. AA works the side head lock, but Carl gets to his feet and sends AA to the ropes, and takes AA to the mat with a shoulder block. AA is slow to get to his feet and Carl has him lined up and hits the ropes, but on the outside Ryan Hardcore grabs Carl’s leg, Carl spins around and reaches between the ropes and tries to grab Hardcore, but Ryan blasts him in the face with a chair. Carl slumps to the mat and Lucios races around the ring, but gets KILLED by a clothesline from MacCappington who was hiding next to the ring steps. Inside the ring, AA reaches into this trunks and pulls out…..OH NO NOT THE BLACK GLOVE!! AA puts it on and waits for Carl to get to his feet and slaps on THE CLAW!!! Carl fights the move for a minute, then slowly slumps to his knees, then to the mat. Blood begins to run down his forehead as the referee counts Carl’s shoulders to the mat.
WINNER in 6:12 – Attitude Adjuster

After the match, Hardcore and MacCappington roll a dazed Lucios into the ring where AA puts the claw on him too driving him to the mat. The World’s Greatest Fag Team set Carl up for a spike pile driver, but Davin Moreland, Concrete TG and Firechild storm the ring and chase Rick’s men away. We see that Lucios has a dark red spot spreading across his mask as the others help him to his feet.

TYSON KINCAID & ERIC O’MAC vs. CONCRETE TG & STANK

Tyson Kincaid and Eric O’Mac enter together to Eric’s music. They make their way slowly down the aisle, stopping to berate and threaten the fans. Once they make it the ring, they warm up until “With Jupiter in Mind” starts to play. Concrete TG steps onto the stage in full hero regalia, cape trailing behind him. He pauses on the stage and waves to the back. After a pause, Stank steps onto the stage. It looks like they had a meeting of the minds at some point as Stank is in his normal ring attire, but in bright colors that match Concrete’s costume. Tyson starts to laugh, and Eric just shakes his head. Amused or not, they bail from the ring as Stank and Concrete storm the ring. After some poses (Concrete’s enthusiastic, Stank’s reluctant), Stank leaves the ring and Tyson slides in. Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Tyson and Concrete lock up, and Concrete snaps off an arm drag. Tyson rolls to his feet and Concrete takes him over again. Tyson side-steps a dropkick and whips Concrete across the ring as he gets up. Concrete ducks a clothesline, and Tyson leapfrogs on the next pass. He sprints for the ropes and hits a beautiful springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT attempt, but Concrete spins in the hold and hits a release northern lights suplex. Tyson rolls to his feet and they meet in center ring. Concrete offers a handshake, and Tyson responds with a poke to the eye. He grabs a front face lock, drags Concrete to the corner, and makes a tag. Eric comes off the top rope with an elbow to the kidneys, then grabs Concrete’s head and pulls him back into a Back Stabber. He covers and hooks the leg, but Concrete kicks out at two. Eric pulls Concrete to his feet and shoves him into the corner, laying into him with chops. He starts an Irish whip, but puts on the brakes and drills him back into the corner and makes the tag. Tyson and Eric throw Concrete to the ropes and attempt a flapjack, but Concrete reverses into a double DDT. Concrete crawls to his corner. Tyson clears his head and dives after him, but is too late and Concrete makes the tag. Stank comes in and levels Tyson with a right hand, then turns and catches an attacking Eric with a clothesline. Stank body slams both men, and then tosses Eric out of the ring. He backs Tyson into the corner and rocks him with body blows, then follows up an Irish whip with an avalanche. Tyson stumbles out of the corner and Stank lifts him for the Stank-U, but Eric is in with a dropkick to the face. Stank stumbles back and Tyson shifts his weight, dropping the big man with a crucifix for a one count. As Stank gets up, Eric is in again with a running knee to the temple, and Tyson follows up with a leg drop to the back of the head. Concrete tries to come in to help, but Barros orders him back to the corner. Tyson drags Stank to his corner and makes the tag. Eric is in and they plant Stank with a tandem suplex, then Eric comes off the ropes with the Rolling Thunder, springing right back to his feet and going retro by pointing to himself and chanting E-O-M. He drinks in the crowd’s abuse, and fails to notice Stank rising behind him like a mountain. Eric turns around, and Stank turns him inside out with a clothesline. Tyson comes in, and so does Concrete, who sidesteps Barros and blocks an enzugiri from Tyson, catching his legs and reversing into the Final Justice. Barros forces a resisting Concrete out of the ring and Eric, who’s been on the losing end of a slugfest with Stank, takes advantage by dropping to his knees and hitting a low blow. He tries to follow up with an Irish whip, but Stank resists and pulls him back into a release belly-to-belly suplex that drives Eric into the turnbuckles. Stank makes it to the Corner and tags in Concrete. Concrete grabs Eric as he gets up and staggers him with chops. He shoves Eric into the corner, then hits a fall away slam, kipping up and hitting the walk-up Moonsault. Barros counts, but Tyson breaks it up at one. Barros forces Tyson out, and Stank slips into the ring. Stank charges at Eric as he gets up, but Eric senses him coming and drops out of the way. Stank puts on the brakes and stops just short of leveling Concrete, which gives Eric the opportunity to crawl for his corner. Concrete lunges after him and grabs his ankle as Barros notices Stank and orders him back to his corner. With Barros distracted, Tyson comes in with a diving clothesline. They pull Concrete to his feet, and Eric lifts him onto his shoulders as Tyson climbs the ropes. Eric locks eyes with Stank (who’s screaming at Barros to turn around) as Tyson comes off the top rope with the Thin Air, taking Concrete off of Eric’s shoulders and driving him head-first into the mat. Stank forces his way back into the ring, but is tackled by Tyson and the momentum takes both men through the ropes to the floor. Barros turns around and sees Eric making the cover and counts the three.
WINNERS, in 17:27, Eric O’Mac and Tyson Kinkaid

After the match: Eric joins Tyson outside the ring for a two-on-one beatdown on Stank. Concrete slowly staggers to his feet and sees them. He hits the ropes and sprints across the ring, soaring over the ropes and taking down all three men with a no-hands plancha. A flood of referees and security are out to separate the teams before the brawl can continue

CAPELLAN vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK

Russ: The crowd is in eager anticipation of this match. All week Capellan has done his best to get under Moosehead Jack's skin. Tonight we will finally see if that strategy has the desired effect, or if it backfires. Let's head to the ring and get this knobberslocker underway!

Capellan enters first to a roar of applause from the crowd. Clearly everyone in the arena wants to see Moosehead Jack get a taste of his own medicine. Cap high-fives a few lucky fans in the front row and steps into the ring. He looks focused on the task at hand as he looks back toward the entrance ramp. A moment passes before Moosehead Jack stands smugly at the top of the ramp. He has an evil grin on his face as he casually walks down the ramp. A few of the fans that were high-fiving Capellan get in his face, so Moose slaps the taste of out of one their mouths. That shuts the rest of them up immediately. Moose gets into the ring and the referee signals for the bell.

Capellan starts off with some quick offense. He's going to have to use his speed advantage if he hopes to have a chance tonight. Cap lays a few quick kicks into Moosehead Jack's legs, trying to slow him down even more. Moose is able to step backwards and avoid one of the kicks, making Capellan off-balance. Moose capitalizes with a vicious T-bone suplex out of nowhere. Capellan landed right on his neck! Moose yells at Cap to get up, and Capellan finally obliges by slowly making his way back to his feet. Moose attempts to take him right back down with a clothesline, but Capellan is just barely able to duck it in time. Moose misses wildly and Capellan catches him with a jawbreaker. Moose staggers back and Capellan uses the opening to whip him into the ropes. Or, that was the plan, but Moose reverses it and sends Capellan toward the ropes instead. Moose telegraphs his move and Cap is able to jump over him. Capellan bounces himself off the far ropes to get a little more momentum, but Moose is able to turn around just in time and catches Capellan with a spinning back elbow right to the face. Capellan goes down in a heap and grabs at his face. Blood starts to drip from between his fingers. Seeing the blood only makes Moosehead Jack more aggressive, and he starts laying the boots to a prone Capellan. Capellan rolls out of the ring for a moment to regain his composure, and we can now see that a giant cut has formed over his left eye. It seems to be affecting his vision, but Capellan seems determined to keep fighting. Capellan heads up onto the ring apron, but Moose is there to cut him off. The two trade punches and it seems like Moosehead Jack is getting the better of this confrontation.

Russ: Capellan is trying to go punch-for-punch with Moosehead Jack. Not a sound strategy in this redneck's opinion.

As if hearing Russ, Capellan changes tactics and ducks a punch. He uses the opening to plant a shoulder into Moosehead Jack's stomach and then slingshots himself over the ropes and Moose. He's going for a sunset flip! Moose struggles to stay on his feet and somehow manages to grab the ropes. Moose gathers himself and attempts to drop a knee onto the prone Capellan, but Cap is just a little too quick and Moose's knee finds nothing but canvas. Moose tries to get up from one knee and doesn't see Capellan rushing at him. Cap hits a basement dropkick that takes out Moose's knee and sends him to the mat.

Russ: The momentum is building for Capellan! He's gotta keep this up!

Capellan tries to do exactly that, and heads to the top rope. The blood keeps pouring from his eye and he takes a second to steady himself. This gives Moosehead Jack all the time he needs as he gets to his feet and crotches Capellan on the top turnbuckle.

Russ: What a wince-inducing move from Moosehead Jack!

Moose climbs up to the second rope and begins hammering sadistically right on Capellan's open wound. The cut gets bigger and more and more blood pours from it. Sensing that punches aren't enough, Moose reels back and headbutts Capellan right between the eyes. Moose then picks up Capellan and delivers a second-rope brain buster. Capellan looks dead. Instead of going for the cover, Moosehead Jack taunts Capellan as he pulls him to his feet. Capellan is on rubber legs and Moose is just mocking him. Capellan throws a wild punch that is easily turn-aside from Moose, and Moose connects with a punch of his own. And another. And another.

Russ: How is Capellan still on his feet? Between the crimson mask and the shot to his grapefruits there's no way he should still he standing!

Moose continues to hammer away as he backs Capellan into a corner. A few more heavy right hands find their mark until, shockingly, Capellan is able to duck a punch.

Russ: I'm shocked!

Capellan gets out of the corner, and just as Moose turns around, he catches him with a Codebreaker! Moosehead Jack slumps into the corner in a half-seated/half-standing position. Capellan knows his only opportunity is right now, so be backs into the opposite corner and takes a running start at Moose. Just as he's about to leave his feet, Moosehead Jack springs up and connects with a tremendous Heart Punch! Capellan immediately slumps to the ground and coughs up a disgusting mess of red. Moosehead Jack makes the cover. One...Two...Three.
WINNER in 12:17 - Moosehead Jack

CHRIS COLE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – Best of Seven Series Match six; Cole leads 3-2

The Jumbotron shows clips recapping this best of seven series, and the boos from the crowd intensify with each Cole win. They’re in full throat as “Master of Puppets” cranks up, and “The Main Event” Chris Cole appears at the top of the ramp, and he’s flanked by The Dead, Eric O’Mac and The Heels, and they make their way down to the ring. The 5 do some posing for a bit before they all leave Cole in the ring alone. Backstage near the curtain, Phantos, Lucios and Carl from Fresno all try to talk Davin Moreland into letting them come down ringside. Davin is adamant that they stay out of it, and says “If I want to win this, I have to do it myself”. Finally the rest of DLP relents, and Moreland tells Sound Guy “Play My Music”. “Pull Me Under” starts and the crowd leaps to their feet and cheers for all they’re worth as Moreland, still sporting his head bandage and with his ribs taped, heads down to the ring. Double Jump into the ring draws a pop, and immediately starts in on the trash talk with Cole, who’s got no problem firing back verbally. I’m guessing these two don’t like each other much. Hightower sighs and gets between these two again, and manages to get them separated long enough to call for the bell. This is match 6 of a Best of Seven Series to determine the #1 Contender for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Chris Cole leads 3 matches to 2. The bell sounds, and WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Collar and elbow tie-up to start, with some momentary jousting before Moreland DISMISSES Cole by shoving him across the ring and hard into the turnbuckle. Moreland shoots Cole a taunting smirk and does a Scott Steiner Bicep spot. Crowd pops big for that. Cole is NOT amused, but instead of charging across the ring, he smartly starts up the trash talk again, bringing Moreland to HIM. Davin gets a few steps away from Cole, but close enough to NAIL him in the “lower abdominal” region with a sharp kick. Cole hits a Swinging Neckbreaker and starts to fire up. Moreland is quickly to his feet though, and is able to catch Cole by the arm, and whips him into the far ropes. They do a CRISS CROSS spot with falling and jumping over and stuff, and culminates in a Diamond Cutter attempt from Moreland. It’s reversed when Cole uses momentum to shove him off, and quickly hits a BIG RELEASE GREMAN SUPLEX! Davin gets to his knees holding the back of his head after the big move, and just notices Cole charging him near the corner. Moreland is quickly to his feet, catches Cole and hits a Death Valley Driver. Davin has no intention of covering, he just needs a second to collect his thoughts.

The crew on the outside has different ideas, and Attitude Adjuster hops on the apron, and start yapping at Davis Hightower. While Hightower goes to check on Alan, The Dead and Eric O’Mac roll into the ring with weapons (Eric with the Autographed Sledgehammer, and Deadly with a Clangy Pole). They surround him, and Cole looks to join in apons, and are stalking Moreland (on the party as well. Davin’s trying to get his bearings and size up the situation. They continue to close in on him, and suddenly Cole delivers a BIG forearm to the back of Davin’s head. Moreland stumbles forward and the weapon shots fly, drilling Moreland in the taped ribs, his shoulders and head, and this just looks like a bad situation; especially now that Cole has joined in with kicks. Attitude’s reading the phonebook to Hightower, who, for whatever reason, seems particularly interested.

But wait a second…Davin’s not going down…in fact, Moreland is Standing UP! Adrenaline and Dead are leveling shots to Davin’s back, but Davin is just STARING at Eric O’Mac. They CONTINUE to rain shots down on Moreland, and they seem to have no effect. Cole has stopped getting his shots in, and just stands back with his jaw dropped. Davin is staring DAGGERS into O’Mac. Eric winds up with the Sledgehammer, but Davin catches it, and starts shaking his head “no”. Eric is incredulous. Davin RIPS the Sledgehammer out of Eric’s hands, and quickly whips around to lay out Dead. Now Davin gets a sick grin on his face, and moves toward O’Mac who is slowly backpedaling away. Unfortunately he’s not fast enough, and eats a FULL BASEBALL SWING to the Ribs from the Sledgehammer. Now he turns his attention to Cole, who is now trying to back off as well. Unfortunately for him, he eats an AXE SWING to the top of the head with the Sledgehammer. Cole’s probably dead. Poor Cole.


Russ: BAH GAWD THE CARNAGE!

Moreland turns to look back at the carnage, and the noise is DEAFENING in the Arena. He slides out of the ring, and does housecleaning on the Tortolan Announce Table. Tude and Hightower are discussing the merits of Trickle-Down Economics. Housecleaning complete, he rolls back into the ring and grabs Kincaid, who gets a Military Press and TOSS FROM THE RING OVER THE BARRIER INTO THE CROWD! The Dead gets the SAME TREATMENT on the other side of the arena. Davin gets “that smirk” again and goes to grab an apparently conscious Eric O’Mac. He picks up O’Mac like a Sack o’ Potatoes and goes to the top turnbuckle. He locks his hands around a wobbly Eric’s waist and jumps…it’s a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE TURNBUCKLE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! Eric’s likely dead too.

Joey: Oh. My. God.

Davin ends up falling lightly on the mat outside the ring, and calmly rolls back in. Capps and Hightower are having a Coke vs. Pepsi Debate. He gives a quick look to Cole who is still unconscious. He grabs the Sledgehammer and tosses it over the head of AA and Hightower, and Attitude Adjuster saw it coming. He gives one quick sweep with his eyes over the situation; Cole’s dead, the other three nowhere to be seen, and his former Team Hardbody teammate staring at him and pointing to the back. AA seems to think that’s probably a good idea, shakes hands with Hightower, and heads back up the ramp. Hightower turns around to hear the crowd batshitting themselves, and to see Davin Moreland have “The Main Event” Chris Cole locked in a Crippler Crossface (TOO SOON!) right in the dead center of the ring. Convenient. Hightower slides in and checks the consciousness status of Cole. Cole comes to momentarily, just long enough to tap out.
WINNER by SUBMISSION in 17:41…DAVIN MORELAND! Series Tied 3-3.

Post-match, Davin calls for a microphone from the timekeeper, and taps it to test it out…

DM: COLE! Match 7. Cage. Escape Only. You think you’re the better man? You think you can beat me one on one? Prove it for Match 7 at the Pay Per View. And by the way, jackass, “us Bostonians” do pretty well in Game 7s last I checked.

Moreland guns the mic and drills Cole in the head, and “Pull Me Under” fires up with the roar of the crowd. Davin poses and shmoozes with the crowd a bit before picking up the Sledgehammer he threw (to cheers) and heads up the ramp. Ninja-cam follows him to the door of The DEA. He Knocks. Lucky Answers.

DM: Alexander.
L: No, I’m Lucky.

DM: No shit. Get me Alexander.

L: Ok, God…no sense of humor with you…

*Alexander comes to the door*

AD: What?

DM: *hands him the Autographed Sledgehammer* This is yours, right? Here.

AD: Uh. Wow, thanks.

[Jack Quinn]

FIREWOMAN vs. BLITZ – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

“Raining Blood” by Slayer starts up and the crowd kind of looks at one another trying to figure out who this is. It’s Blitz, who apparently gets an entrance this week. He looks pissed off and immediately calls for a mic.

B: You think I’m a Jobber? You want to call me Jobber Blitz? Firewoman, get your sorry ass out here and I’ll show you what kind of jobber I am after I take that title from you.

Right on cue, the house lights in the arena turn red, and the crowd rises to their feet in anticipation of the Champ. However, instead of “Firewoman”, “Walk This Way” fires up through the PA instead, and the crowd batshits themselves as all the members of Run DEA come out to the top of the ramp; Alexander and Alexis Darling, Davin Moreland, Phantos, Lucios, Carl From Fresno, Lucky the Valet and, of course, the Onslaught Champion, Firewoman all descend down the ramp in lockstep; with the former members of DLP doing most of the crowd schmoozing along the way. Blitz is in the ring kind of looking around, not expecting this entrance, obviously, and bails to the floor as Run DEA floods the ring, all gesturing to Firewoman as she raises the Onslaught Title to the sky. The crowd is electric as Alexander Darling and Moreland start to talk trash to Blitz out on the floor, who suddenly looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. High-Fives and Hand-Pounds ensue, and finally all of Run DEA bails from the ring except for Firewoman, who hands her belt to Sterling Glaw. Glaw gestures for Blitz to get back in the ring. Blitz complies and Glaw hold the belt in the air. This match is for the OOWF Onslaught Championship. Glaw hands the belt to the timekeeper and does a cursory check of both competitors before calling for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Blitz looks shaken, but seems to gain his resolve a bit and swaps a little trash talk with Firewoman. Firewoman smirks and DRILLS him with a SLAP OF DISRESPECT! That got a good reaction from the crowd. Blitz, selling like a champ, holds his jaw and growls before charging Firewoman. Fire saw it coming, and ole’s Blitz into the ropes. Blitz bounces off and catches a BIG Spinning Heel Kick in the jaw, dropping him. She drags Blitz up by the arm and ABUSES him with Chops all the way to the turnbuckle. Standing Dropkick snaps Blitz’s head back. BIG Snapmare out of the corner, and Fire looks to climb the turnbuckle. Already? BEST FIRESAULT EVER, except Blitz rolled out of the way. While Blitz is congratulating himself, he failed to notice that Firewoman landed on her feet, and is already on the attack again. Basement Dropkick to Blitz’s dome knocks the will to live out of him, and Blitz rolls to his stomach. Firewoman walks over and grabs Blitz’s legs…here we go…MOTHERFUCKIN CURBSTOMP! Outside the ring, Run DEA enjoyed that one greatly. Blitz is in big, big trouble.

Fire rolls her eyes as she goes back to Blitz’s legs, and pulls him all the way up, driving her knee into his back, and it’s FIRETAMER time. Unfortunately for Firewoman, they’re pretty close to the ropes, and Blitz is able to eventually get to the ropes for the break, but not until after Fire uses the whole 5 count. With everyone focused on the match, no one notices people moving toward the ramp from the crowd. Dead, Eric O’Mac, Chris Cole, L.D. Williams, The World’s Gayest Fag Team, Moosehead Jack (with Orton-esque cast), IHOP, Attitude Adjuster and Tyson Kinkaid all congregate near the ramp to watch the conclusion of the match, and they’ve brought toys with them.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Fire picks up Blitz and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a HUGE DDT on the way back. She signals that it’s over and heads to the top turnbuckle again…BFE CONNECTS! It’s an academic 3 count for Glaw.
WINNER by PINFALL in 8:31, and STILL OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION, FIREWOMAN!

But the festivities have already begun outside, as Run DEA tries desperately to hold off Bennett’s crew; but without the weaponry that Bennett’s crew has, and the numerical advantage, it’s only a matter of time. Fire notices and tries to go to help out, but she is cut off in the ring by Moosehead Jack, Eric O’Mac and The Dead. Moose DRILLS her with a Heartpunch, and Firewoman kind of laughs, until The Dead hits her with the Close The Casket, yelling something like “This. Is. Not. Over.” or whatever. Eric O’Mac has already hopped to the turnbuckle and NAILS Fire with the E-MAC ATTACK! FINALLY D&D, Firechild, Crete and The Amnesiac (w/Monkh) come down to ringside to clear and lay out the riff-raff; but most of the principals have already chickenshitted out of the area, and we cut to commercial with a bloody and beaten Davin Moreland, Alexis and Alexander Darling crawling to the aid of the Onslaught Champion. There’s a lot of, as JR would say…”carnage”.

THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. GAELIC STORM – OOWF World Tag Team Title Taipei Death Match

Gaelic Storm comes to the ring and inspects the cage before they step inside. The Midnight Sons come to the ring next, they are still pretty banged up from their Taipei Death match from last week against Empty Team. Some would suggest that taking this match was not a wise decision. The Sons climb into the cage all four men attack, and the ring turns into chaos. Seamus and Spin hammer each other in the middle of the ring while Magnusson and Wrath drag each others faces across the barbed wire, leaving their faces a hideous mask of blood, and we are only ten seconds into the match. Spin stops Seamus with a chop to the throat, then sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a thunderous spine buster, then mounts him and hammers at his face with rights grabbing the back of his head so he can’t escape. Seamus absorbs the punches like a good Irishman and turns the tables, shoving Spin off of him, and now Seamus is on top and drives elbows into Spin’s chest, then gets up and pulls Spin up and rakes his eyes and shoves him into the corner. Seamus charges but Spin takes a step out of the corner and back drops Seamus over the ropes and into the cage where he gets momentarily hung in the wire. Spin bounds off the opposite ropes and dives between the ropes and SPEARS Seamus! His momentum collapses the cage side and both men tumble to the floor tangled in the wire. Inside the ring, Magnusson looks to see if his partner is ok, and eats a knee to the gut that doubles him over in pain. Wrath takes his glass covered fists and rakes it down Magnusson’s back, leaving deep cuts the length of Magnusson’s back. This just serves to annoy Magnusson as he turns around and LEVELS Wrath with a clothesline. Magnusson grabs Wrath and throws him between the ropes and out of the cage. DH follows as Wrath frees himself from the wreckage and staggers around ring side. Wrath pauses for a moment at the announce table and grabs a bottle of Jameson’s, takes a deep swig for himself, then another, and turns and catches Magnusson with a face full of whiskey! That has to feet good on the cuts. Wrath then grabs the bottle and SMASHES it in Magnusson’s face, sending him to the floor. On the other side of the ring, Seamus and Spin try to free themselves from the wreckage. Spin grabs a piece of the wood that made up the cage wall and breaks it over Seamus’ back sending him to the concrete. Spin then puts the board under Seamus’ chin and locks him in a camel clutch with the board, all the while drilling him in the face with repeated shots from his massive glass covered fists. Damon Wrath sees his partner in trouble and grabs a chair and runs across the floor and dives and catches Spin right in the back of the head with the chair, knocking Spin off of Seamus. Unfortunately for Wrath, he is now tangled in the barbed wire. Seamus helps him up, painfully and they roll Spin back into the ring. Inside the ring Seamus and Wrath pulls Spin to his feet and send him into the cage, then catch him on the rebound with a double kick, then plant him with a DDT. Wrath climbs to the top rope, and Seamus tosses him the piece of wood, which still has barbed wire hanging off of it. Wrath leaps and drives the board into Spin’s chest. Wrath covers. As Wrath is flying off the top rope, Magnusson is back into the ring. He grabs Seamus and lifts him for a back breaker, then drops to his knees, Seamus bounces off his shoulders and hits the floor. Magnusson breaks up the three count just as the referee’s hand is coming down and pulls Wrath to his feet and hits a release German suplex that sends Wrath back first into the barbed wire. Spin gets back to his feet, and coughs up a nasty big of blood. The Sons grab Seamus and Magnusson whips him across the ring toward Spin, and Spin tees off on him with the piece of wood, catching him right in the gut and doubling him over in pain. Magnusson grabs Seamus and gets him ready for a power bomb as Spin climbs to the top rope. Magnusson lifts Seamus and Spin leaps, but Wrath has freed himself from the wire and charges in and catches Spin blindsiding him with a super kick to the jaw while he is in mid air. Magnusson drops Seamus and goes after Wrath, but Seamus gets to his feet and nails Magnusson from behind and hits the BLACK AND TAN! Seamus covers, one, two THREE!
WINNERS in 15:55 and NEW OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Gaelic Storm!

All four men collapse in blood soaked exhaustion as the referee’s hand the titles to Gaelic Storm. They slowly get to their feet and share a manly embrace before the Sons head to the back to let the Storm celebrate.

DONOVAN VIPER vs. BEAST – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Beast chases Viper around to start, and Viper bails to the floor... and outsmarts Beast by rolling back in and putting the boots to him. Beast fights up, but DV stays after him, pounding him back to the corner. Beast fights back and we have a slugout, and Beast goes to the eyes to break. Suplex, and Beast kicks the shit out of Viper, and DV rolls out. Viper trips Beast from the floor and drags him out. Viper sends him to the stairs, then hiptosses him on the concrete. Viper tries a pile driver, but Beast backdrops him on the floor. Back in we go, and Beast with a butterfly throw, then a stiff backbreaker. Beast pulls Viper up and drives knee after knee into the back, draping him over the middle rope for some more. Beast charges, but DV bails, and Beats crotches himself. Viper with a sucker punch, and he slingshots in with a shoulderblock. DDT is blocked though, as Beast spins out of it, but misses a short clothesline, and Viper gets a German suplex, bridging for two. Back up, but the DEATH ELBOW misses and Beast spears the shit out of Viper. Now it's Beast's turn to go for his finisher too early, and the CLUB O'DEATH is countered with a backdrop over the top rope... and Beast's head slams off the apron on the way down. Viper follows out to the floor to capitalize, but he pauses as he tries to get Beast to his feet. Beast crumples back to the floor, and Viper calls the ref out. The ref makes the dreaded X signal. The ref rolls back in and begins a quick ten count, but before Viper can get the count out win, Beast rolls back in. Viper covers... but Beast puts his foot on the rope! Beast drags himself up and Viper doesn't quite know what to do. Beast charges, and Viper hotshots him in self-defense... right onto the steel post. Beast falls straight back into the ring, and Viper covers quickly, getting a fast count from the ref, and gets the three count.
WINNER in 8:12: DONOVAN VIPER

Post-match, the ref checks on Beast, who tries to get back up, but can't balance himself at all, and he falls thru the ropes and out to the floor, landing with another sickening thud. EMT's hit the scene and help Beast up, only to put him on a stretcher for precautionary measures and take him away as the crowd gives a polite ovation.


LD WILLIAMS vs. ECOSYSTEM – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

“Mr. Newsman” by Dir en grey fires up on the PA and a slightly confused crowd starts to stir as Ecosystem comes down the ramp looking, well, confused. He steps into the ring and kind of looks around trying to make sense of the whole situation. “Jekyll and Hyde” by Petra blasts over the PA and the World Champ steps to the top of the ramp to mostly boos, but some “respect” cheers are mixed in. Champion Pyro goes off to the bemusement of LD, who makes his way down to the ramp, and into the ring. Senior Referee Mel Creech glances at the particulars for this one, and accepts the belt from Williams. He raises it into the air signifying that this match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. He hands the belt to the timekeeper who takes it and then rings the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Collar and elbow tie-up momentarily but LD easily shoves Eco off with a knowing grin. Eco looks, as always, confused, but also unhappy. He charges LD and tries to spear him, but LD catches him with a DDT. 2 big knee drops and an elbow drop, and LD decides that could be enough and flips Eco over for a cover: 1, 2, no and Eco kicks out. LD decides to pick Eco up, and sets him up for another DDT, but Eco manages to wriggle out of it, and starts to blister Williams’ chest with brutal chops. 3 or 4 chops later, Eco starts to kick the hamstrings of LD, finally dropping Williams to his knees. Straight Side Kick to the head of Williams rocks the champ, so Eco follows up with 3 more. Now Eco rolls LD and looks for a cover: 1, no. LD kicked out big and Eco goes flying. Both men clamor their feet, and Eco runs at LD, but LD catches him with a HUGE Belly-To-Belly Over The Top Rope, and Eco hits the floor hard.

LD takes a beat or two to catch his breath before heading out to the just-stirring Eco. Williams picks Eco up and smashes his head off the mat a couple times, opening a nice gash over Eco’s eye. LD decides to change things up and land some BRUTAL barrier-related offense. Eco is in a bad way. Scoop Slam on Eco followed by a Knee Drop to the face. Williams picks him up and hits a Snap Suplex on the floor, and LD decides that’s enough, and rolls into the ring. Creech starts a pretty quick count on the downed Eco. Eco starts to move at 5.

Eco just does get into the ring apron at 9, where Williams greets him, and takes him in THE HARD WAY with a BIG DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX. Ouch. LD decides to work on the knees, by lifting up Eco’s leg, and kicking it from the inside. He does this 3 or 4 times before doing the same thing to the other one. Eco is nearly defenseless, but manages to sit up, and grab a hold of Williams’ arm. He starts to wring the arm when Williams tries to kick him in the head to put an end to it. Eco ducks, and is able to dive into the back of LD’s legs, bringing him down. Eco manages to stand and limp over to LD, and tries to lock on a Dragon Sleeper…ECO IS LOOKING FOR ENDGAME! BIG Snapmare takeover from Williams right into the middle of the ring, and LD signals for the End. Stepover. Toehold. Facelock. STF is locked on and locked on WELL, as Eco’s got nowhere to go. Microphones pick up a pretty sickening popping noise as Eco shrieks and screams in pain and immediately taps. Creech calls for the bell.
WINNER in 12:18 by SUBMISSION and STILL OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…L.D. WILLIAMS!

Williams accepts the belt and promptly kicks Eco HARD in the dome piece before leaving the ring, but Eco barely notices as he is holding his left knee and appears to be in excruciating pain. Creech eventually makes the dreaded “X” sign and medical personnel flood the ring. They put stabilizers on Eco’s knee and Eco does the stretcher job out of the arena.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Manilla Warfare PPV! Live 25th From Manilla, Philippines! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! May 28th from Kokopo, Papua New Guinea!

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Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

[salmonjunkie]

Taipei Viper must be Viet Cong Viper's chinese cousin.

[DevSop]

That was a message to you as well? Maybe? I dunno...I want my belt back damnit.

[Andy]

Yeah, because you really did get screwed out of the IC title didn't ya. Let us all cry for Alexander Darling.

[DevSop]

See...even your fag stable friend agrees with me Donnie...give the belt back to Alexander.