[Deleted]

Damon: What are you doing?

Seamus: Nothing!

Damon: What do you mean?

Seamus: What do you mean, what do you mean?

Damon: I mean why are you doing nothing?

Seamus: Bored.

Damon: Yep. Where's Rory, Connor and the gang?

Seamus: Out.

Damon: Out where?

Seamus: Out there...

Damon: Oh

Seamus: What you doing?

Damon: Nothing....

Seamus: Bored?

Damon: Yep...we should get ready to fight the jobber blitz and Tonko...

Seamus: I don't think his name is Tonko...

Damon: Toyota?

Seamus: Nope...

Damon: Whatever...

Seamus: We need to review tape...

Damon: What tape? Didn't you beat on Blitz before?

Seamus: Yep...it was a weekly thing back a few months...he was with some other jobber, don't remember his name either...so....

Damon....so.....yep

Seamus: Pass me a beer....

[fasteddie]

(Standing outside a bar that happens to be a favorite establishment of Gaelic Storm it is late at night. Tytan looks it over with Dumb Blond Interviewer and a Ninja cameraman.)

DBI: Tytan why are we here?

Tytan: Simple. It's time to leave a calling card. Something so this drunken idiots remember who they are facing tonight. It seems I am beginning to have to remind everyone I face who I am.

DBI: So can't this happen at Mayhem?

Tytan: They will remember me from the beat down they will receive but now I want to send them a little reminder.

(He then reaches into the gym bag that he had with him and pulls out a can of green spray paint.)

Tytan: Watch this.

(The cameraman watches as Tytan spells out his name in spray paint across the front of the bar.)

DBI: That just wasn't cool. This was a nice building.

Tytan: Then people need to start remembering my name. (To the camera) I am Tytan and I am the future of Professional Wrestling, and after Mayhem people will start remembering the name Tytan and Ultimo Inc.

(Just then a limo pulls up and the door opens to see Mr. Steel pop out.)

Steel: Tytan I didn't realize you were an artist too.

Tytan: Oh it's something I do for fun.

(The two laugh.)

Steel: Now let's get going. Diana is waiting for you, time for the next round.

(Tytan gets in the car. Steel sees DBI and the cameraman smiles reaches into his jacket and pulls out two shirts and tosses them to the two of them.)

Steel: Brand new shirts for you two, they'll be out on the website tomorrow. If you buy two I'll throw in 10% discount on anything else in the catalog.

Now, see you at Mayhem.

(He gets in the car and they drive off.)
Fade to Black

[Demko]

(We see Monkh and The Amnesiac, both standing outside GM: The Rick's door, this time, ready to knock. The Amnesiac is wearing a shirt that says "I Coulda Been A Contender", while Monkh wears a seemingly unrelated shirt: "Prediction? Pain." As The Amnesiac reaches up to knock at the door, out of nowhere come Firechild and Concrete TG, interrupting him before he can knock.)

CTG: Citizen Amnesiac! Citizen Monkh! We've been looking all over for you.

Amn: Well, I'm right here. Sorry I've been a little distant. I've been dealing with some disturbing news.

FC: So I hear. I still think Muerte and The Dead are-

Amn: Stop! Everyone keeps saying that. It's not true. He's my brother!

CTG: Let's nevermind that now. We have some training to do and strategy to plan. We are the X-Men of the OOWF, and we need to start showing the rest of these clowns our mutant powers!

Amn: This is gonna lead to us all wearing matching outfits, isn't it?

(Monkh snickers at this, and CTG looks a bit offended.)

CTG: This from a man who wears a mask? You have a problem wearing a particular color scheme?

Amn: I guess I just don't understand the infatuation with matching costumes.

CTG: You aren't thinking in the correct superhero mindframe!

(The Amnesiac, Monkh and Firechild all shake their heads and sigh.)

FC: I guess we're not gonna win on this one. What did you have planned?

(All four of them turn and walk away, discussing, just low enough that the ninja cameraman can't pick up the dialogue. The camera fades to black.)

*OOC* This appear to have been my 500th post. So uh... whoopee!

[Deadly]

[After The Amnesiac meets with his super-cohorts he takes a slight detour and heads toward the IHOP locker room. He seems extremely giddy as he reaches into his back pocket and takes out the letter from his parents. He frantically knocks on the door and waits in nervous anticipation. A moment later, the door cracks open and Skurge pokes his head through.]

Skurge: What's this all aboot, eh?

Amn: Is El Muerte here?

Skurge: Why, so you can try and pull a Poe on us?

Amn: No, I just have super exciting news! Please go get him. Pleeeeeeeeease.

Skurge: Fine. Stay there.

[The door closes and there are some muffled shouts. A moment or two passes before El Muerte comes to the door.]

Muerte: Oh, it's you, The....ummm....

Amn: The Amnesiac!

Muerte: Right. Of course.

Amn: But today I am more than just The Amnesiac!

Muerte: Hmm...multiple personalities, perhaps?

Amn: No, silly. I just found out that we're brothers!

Muerte: What?

Amn: I know! Isn't it awesome? Check this out.

[The Amnesiac hands Muerte the letter. Muerte reads it for a moment and smiles slightly.]

Muerte: No shit. What a coincidence that is.

[El Muerte sticks his hand out for a shake.]

Amn: Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug!

[Amnesiac hugs El Meurte as El Muerte gives Amnesiac a semi-uncomfortable pat on the back.]

Amn: We've had all this built up hostility towards one another, but now it makes perfect sense! Brothers always fight from time to time!

Muerte: I guess that's true. So now what?

Amn: I'm glad you asked! I have our whole day planned out. First, we'll make snow angels for two hours, and then we'll go ice skating and then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then, to finish, we'll snuggle.

Muerte: Snuggle?

Amn: Oh, and maybe a tickle fight!

[At this point, El Muerte begins to laugh uncontrollably.]

Amn: What's so funny, bro?

Muerte: This is better than I could have hoped for.

Amn: Me too! I can't believe it's taken this long to...

Muerte: No, you silly bastard. I thought you might fall for it, but never this hard.

Amn: What do you mean?

Muerte: The letter. I had Skurge and SYB write that up the other day. Damn, you're really a sucker, aren't you?

Amn: But...

Muerte: Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go laugh about this for a good two or three hours.

Amn: But...

[Skurge and SYB appear behind El Muerte, and they are both laughing hysterically as well. Skurge is wearing a shirt that says "Nice Try" and SYB's shirt says "Lao Che". All three continue to laugh as El Muerte slams the door in The Amnesiac's face.]

Amn: But...

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose is sitting in LJ Bennett’s office slouched in a chair while Bennett talks on the phone>

LJB: Uh huh…….you know I did……..that’s right, just remember how you got there……hey, you know the deal…….yes, total control………why not?........I see…..well work on that…….I am sure he has a weakness, find it, exploit it, and get back to me……..every man does, are there others…….I see……so we don’t quite have the majority…….yeah……work on that one too…..until then, this should work just fine……yes, that will do……..yeah, until then……just let me know.

<Bennett hangs up the phone and sits and stares into space for a moment>

MHJ: Well?

LJB: Well Rick has managed to fool just enough people to keep himself in a position of power. Right now, he has just about equal authority as I do, thanks to him schmoozing the Board

MHJ: But you still have final say, right?

LJB: In most matters. For example, Rick is perfectly within his limits to impose the fine and suspension for anyone in his office or laying a hand on him.

MHJ: Good thing I got that out of the way when I did then.

LJB: Yes, it was. Fortunately for me, I am well within my rights to impose the same type of fine and suspension on anyone who gets physical with me. Especially Stank

MHJ: He certainly appears to be the only one with a set of balls on that side

LJB: Yes, he does. Maybe we should focus more effort on removing him

MHJ: Good luck there. He is a tough bastard

LJB: Are you saying you are not up for the task?

MHJ: Oh, I am sure it could be done, either Eric, myself, or someone else, but if you ask me it is a waste of resources

LJB: How do you figure?

MHJ: Simple. Taking Stank out through physical violence will take forever, and most likely cost you men as well. He is not that idiot Ecosystem, he won’t break that easy. If you want to remove Stank from the equation, there are other ways to do it.

LJB: And I presume you have something in mind?

MHJ: Naturally. But now is not the time. As much as it pains me to agree with him, Stank has a point.

LJB: Oh?

MHJ: He wants Rick to get his head in the game, well Bennett, I think it is time you did the same. Rick’s boys just pulled a bunch of shit that cannot go unpunished. Eric was right, if we are going to establish dominance, part of that is through our actions in the ring, and part of that is what YOU do outside of the ring. We need to quit fucking around with this, and hit them where it hurts the most. Drink and Destroy need to be punished for their bar heist, Firewoman needs to be punished for being an all-around petulant brat, and Darling needs to be punished just for being Darling.

LJB: And Davin Moreland?

MHJ: He will get what is coming to him as well. But it needs to be more than stripping him of that Assistant GM title, you know damn well he doesn’t care about that.

<Bennett seems to consider this for a moment, then nods his head>

LJB: You and Eric are right. I can’t take action this week because it is too close to Mayhem, but on the June 11th Mayhem, there will be some action taken. You know this will escalate things, right?

MHJ: Its coming regardless, whether it is now or next month. Look Bennett, right now, their side is in a bit of disarray, but they are slowly coming together. You have a united side right now, strike before they get their shit together, otherwise, this will never end.

<fade>

[blownspot]

<Later that evening, Rick emerges from a taxi and enters the Jakarta Crowne Plaza. He walks up to the front desk, claiming he is Eric O'Mac. He shows the front desk clerk falsified identification and the clerk gives him a key to the penthouse suite. The penthouse belongs to LJ Bennett and the penthouse was booked under Eric O'Mac's name. Rick enters the elevator, inserts the key, and is whisked away 18 stories up to the penthouse suites. Rick makes his way over to suite 2, inserts the key card, and enters into the dark hotel suite. He can hear snoring from the bedroom. The OOWF GM makes his way into the bedroom and Bennett wakes up.>

GMtR - When did you start sleeping with a bottle of scotch by the bed?

LJB - ... When the nightmares started.

GMtR - ...

LJB - Did you come to kill me?

GMtR - We both know I can't do that.

LJB - ...

GMtR - You changed the rules.

LJB - What rules?

GMtR - You think I'm going to let you get away with it?

LJB - Everything you have you took from me.

GMtR - You killed my daughter.

LJB - What!?

GMtR - Now... I'm going to kill yours. It's a damn shame to. I had hoped to get her to play a bit with Firewoman. She and Gatorbait were promising PHWF tag team champions at one time.

LJB - YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS!

GMtR - Why should I? YOU are the one who changed the rules!

LJB - What BLASTED rules are YOU talking about!!

GMtR - YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER!

LJB - RICK you DON'T HAVE a DAUGHTER!

GMtR - I don't?

LJB - Hell NO!

GMtR - Then what sort of crack have I been smoking?

LJB - I don't know... I think I saw this on TV once.

GMtR - No it couldn't be that. Everyone knows I hate TV.

LJB - Then what the HELL are you doing HERE?

GMtR - Oh... yeah... my daughter...

LJB - For the LAST TIME Y-

GMtR - THE OOWF is my DAUGHTER. SHE's MY BABY ! And you've killed her!

LJB - We both know it is YOU who killed the OOWF! Not me! I'm here to resurrect it!

GMtR - You will NEVER gain full control! You will PAY for what you've done!

LJB - And what do you think you're going to do to stop me?

GMtR - You're trying to take something I love away from me... so I am going to take something you love... your daughter.

LJB - I told you to leave Courtney OUT of THIS!

GMtR - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CHANGED THE RULES!! I'm going to take your daughter. Then perhaps you will know the same pain I do.

LJB - You'll NEVER find HER!

GMtR - Oh I will... Moosehead Jack!

LJB - What does HE have to do with this?

GMtR - Oh... uh... that's my not so clever way of saying "trust me."

LJB - GET OUT!

GMtR - You will wish you hadn't changed the rules.

LJB - I want my OOWF back!

GMtR - You will NEVER have it! NEVER!

<The camera switches to LJ Bennett wearing silk pajamas and sitting up in bed, seething at Rick. The camera then fades on Rick's emotionless expression save for the curse of death wished upon Bennett emanating from the GM's eyes.>

[wld]

**SFJ#47 approaches L.D. Williams, but doesn’t even get the chance to speak.**

LD: “Forget it. I’m not saying nothin’.”

SFJ#47: “But-”

LD: “Fine. You want to know what I think? I think I am SICK OF THIS CRAP. People around here are treating this like it’s a joke – like something we’re making up. Words on a page. ”

SFJ#47: “-”

LD: “BUT IT’S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!!”

**Kayfabe walks by in the background, carrying a sign that says ‘I (heart) L. D. Williams’**

LD: “Do you have any idea what it’s like? I have to defend the World Title against Outback Jack tonight. You’ve heard of him? Big guy? Australian? Belches a lot? Will probably kick my ass? I want to talk strategy with Moose but it’s impossible ‘cause he can’t stop humming that freaking song. Bennett won’t allow popcorn while we’re watching film, MacCappington is inconsolable, and I don’t know what the hell happened to AA and Dead! This is ridiculous! I am the greatest wrestler on the face of the planet and I’m stuck in the middle of a Bugs Bunny cartoon!”

**Williams turns to storm away and walks right into Justin Sane.**

JS: “Lousefield Wednesday! Long time no see!”

**Williams glares at Justin from under his eyebrows, breathing heavily (picture muppet Animal), shakes his head, and walks away.**

JS: <shaking his head> “Same old Lousefield.”

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*OOC* love the Lost reference

[salmonjunkie]

The ground burrows beneath LD Williams' feet. Out pops Viper and Capellan!

Cap: WOOHOO! PISMO BEACH! I'M GOING SURFING!!!

Capellan runs smack into an Indonesian hut.

DV: Jakarta? I knew I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

LDW: This better not be some fucking joke.

DV: What? I'm trying to make amends to Capellan by taking him to the beach. He's really intent on putting his career on the line.

LDW: No... I mean... Never mind...

DV: You alright man? Don't let Outback Jack stress you out. He's not in your league, man.

LDW: Right.

DV: Besides, you gotta hold on to the belt long enough so I can win it from you.

LDW: Riiight.

DV: Ain't I a stinker?

LDW: Can you please not say that with that brooklyn accent?

DV: Whatever you say, doc!

LDW: <grumble>

LD keeps walking and sees Firewoman and Bunny arround an Indonesian police officer armed with a rifle.

FW: Rabbit season!
B: Bitch season!
FW: Rabbit season!
B: Bitch season!
FW: Rabbit season!
B: Bitch season!
FW: Bitch season!
B: Rabbit season!!!
FW: Bitch season!!!
B: I say it's rabbit season, and I say, FIRE!

BANG! The cop shoots Bunny causing the headpiece of his costume to spin and then resting back where it was again. Uninjured, yet embarrassed, Bunny starts the argument back up again.

B: Let's try that again.
FW: Okay.
B: I'll start it this time.
FW: Right.

LDW: NO! NO! NO! STOP IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?! AAAARRGH!!!!

B: What's up his ass?
FW: RABBIT SEASON!

BANG!

[karmic]

*OOC* Where am I going to find the time toss around all these exalts? GREAT promos!

[fasteddie]

OOC**** couldn't agree more. those promos kicked tail.

[fasteddie]

...and now a word from our sponser....

Voiceover: Tonight's Mayham is brought to you by Ultimo Inc.....when you need to bust some heads use Ultimo Inc. Skullcrusher 3000. The strongest and best aerodynamic chair in the business.

And go to the website and name the new power drink by Ultimo Inc.

...Now back to Mayham.....

[Deleted]

Backstage [green] Gaelic Storm [/green] are preparing for their match

Rory: “Seamus you seen the paper from this morning”

Seamus: “No, can’t said that I have”

Rory: “There’s a story about one of our hangouts getting vandalised…”

Damon: “Really why would anyone do that to old guy who owns it?”

Connor: “That’s sad…what kind of punk ass teenager gets their kicks like that?”

Liam: “Boys, I don’t think it was a teenager it was what’s his name that your facing tonight?”

Seamus: “Jobber-Blitz?”

Liam: “No the other one…”

Seamus: “Tonya?”

Damon: “Torri?”

Rory: “Toshiba?”

Connor: “Tootie”

Seamus: “Oh I loved Fact’s of Life”

Damon: “I’d do Blair”

Rory: “I’d do Jo”

Connor: “I’d do Natalie”

Seamus: “Really?”

Connor: “I like big boned woman”

Damon:” Big Boned?”

Rory: “I’d do Mrs. Garrett”

Connor: “That’s sick even for me…”

Liam: “Gentleman…we digress”

Seamus: “Right we were talking about Tiffany”

Connor: “I think we’re alone now”

Rory: “You know she was on Star Search”

Damon: “I’d do her”

Liam “ Damn it you shouldn't make light of this…”

Seamus: “Right, right the future of professional wrestling…big bad new kid on the block..”

Rory: “Never liked them…”

Connor: What about Mark Wahlberg?”

Rory: “Your thinking of his brother Donnie…never liked them?”

Damon: “Please don’t go girl….”

Liam: “Forget it let’s go….”

[fasteddie]

(Backstage in Ultimo Inc. Locker Room.)

Steel: Gaelic Storm you drunken bunch of hooligans, you see you did get one thing right, He is the new bad-ass on the block and you need to start getting use to it. And tonight Ultimo Inc will make history as Blitz and my man give you a beat down.

And tonight is when Ultimo Inc starts to make some waves of their own.

(The camera pans over to Tytan who is sitting at a table getting an injection from Dr. Podvod. Tytan waves the camera in close.)

Tytan: After tonight you will remember the name Tytan. Tytan! (right in the camera) TYTAN!!!

(fade to black)