OOWF MidWeek Mayhem (06-18-08) From Thailand
Jun 18, 2008 21:40:18 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Jun 18, 2008 21:40:18 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Phuket, Thailand
<scene opens in the Team Rick locker room, where Crete and Stank are standing before all those who had been stuck in jail previously>
CTG: Ladies and Gentlemen, while we may not agree on everything, we are allies for the moment, against a common foe.
Stank: WE GONNA KILL EVERY ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ON BENNETT'S TEAM
CTG: We must steel our resolves against those who wish to inflict such chaos on this company
Stank: YOU GONNA LET THOSE PUNKASSES TAKE YOU? NO!
CTG: We must pull this company back under Rick Scaia's rule
Stank; THIS IS RICK'S HOUSE, NOT BENNETT'S!
CTG: (Nods) thank you, stank, for translating for Seamus and Magnusson
Stank: YEAH~! (takes his seat)
CTG: Now, I made sure that everyone got their Team Rick gear and I hope everything is satisfactory. (holds up a cap with a dark red and purple "TR" emblazoned on it) Now, I shall hand this cap to our leader, Mr. Rick Scaia!
(GMtR walks in and looks the cap over)
GMtR: DAMMIT CRETE THESE AREN'T UNIVERSITY OF DAYTON COLORS!
<We cut to the back where Moosehead Jack is sitting taping his fists when a terrified stagehand comes up to him>
TSH: Uhhhh Mr. Jack, I had NOTHING to do with this, but some of the guys thought it might be a good idea for you to see what is going on in the front row
MHJ: Why? What the hell could be going on in the front row?
TSH: You should probably just look for yourself
<Moose walks over to a monitor and sees most of the front three rows wearing Hurri-Crete and Moosey T-Shirts>
MHJ: GODDAMIT!! <Moose grabs the monitor and shatters it against the wall> I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!
<Moose storms away and finds Crete in the hallway just leaving the Team Rick locker room, security keeps them apart, but we hear the argument>
MHJ: DAMMIT CRETE you said you destroyed all those shirts. I always knew you were a damned LIAR
CTG: Liar? these were from my personal collection. Desperate times and measures.
MHJ: you will die for this
CTG: and who is the liar here? How long have you promised my death, Moose?
MHJ: <smirking> Well it is hard to kill you when you have the referee's in your back pocket now isn't it?
CTG: harder still when you're lackeying for a dandy with a bruised ego
MHJ: I would imagine you would know all about bruised egos Crete. How did that WWE title shot work out? Or even better how has your reception been since your return to the OOWF? You are here to save us right?
CTG: yes I am.... and this time, I have backup. WWE gold wouldn't mean much if you destroyed the league I started in
MHJ: Back up. Right, it looks like you have back up Crete. They all hate you. They hate what you represent. You took the Devil's money, and now you have come back here to redeem your soul. Well guess what Crete, the only way that will EVER happen is for you to get rid of ME. And you know damn well you can't do it
CTG: Team Rick is united so now I can focus on unfinished business.... starting tonight.
MHT: Just be careful Crete, it would be a damn shame if you started a war you couldn't finish.....again
<Moose snarls and turns and walks away, leaving Crete standing in the hall>
GAELIC STORM vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS
WWE and TNA come to the ring accompanied by their boss ZK DeBeers. He gives them a pep talk in the center of the ring. Well, perhaps verbal beat down would be more appropriate. The two men wait as Gaelic Storm is announced and make their way to the ring. The Storm step between the ropes and immediately attack TNA and WWE. Seams grabs WWE and throws him into the corner and blisters him with chops. Wrath catches TNA with a forearm to the side of the head and sends him to the ropes, elevates him high in the air, and catches him in the face with a high knee to the face as TNA comes down. Wrath pulls TNA to his feet and sends him over the top rope to the floor. Seamus pulls WWE out of the corner and whips him to the ropes, and drops down on the mat, as TNA leaps over Seamus’ back, Wrath pops him in the mouth with a super kick that sends him out of the ring with WWE and ZK DeBeers. DeBeers yells at them both and sends them back into the ring. TNA tries to sneak attack Wrath, but he catches him with a spinning kick to the mid section, then hauls him up in a vertical suplex, then hangs him across the top rope. Wrath tags in Seamus, who grabs TNA off the rope, butterflies him and drives him into the mat. Seamus mounts TNA and hammers him in the face with closed fist punches until the referee threatens disqualification. Seamus pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but TNA reverses the whip and DeBeers grabs Seamus leg. Seamus turns and grabs at DeBeers, but ZK backs away to safety. When Seamus turns back around, he catches a clothesline from TNA that sends him to the mat. TNA tags in WWE and they pull Seamus to his feet, let out a Samoan bellow and deliver a double head but. However, this head but did not have the desired effect. Seamus takes the move and stands and looks as both TNA and WWE fall to their knees grabbing their heads. Seamus kicks TNA in the face sending him out of the ring, and pulls WWE up, scoops him up and ties him into the tree of woe in the Storm corner. Seamus gets a running start and drives his knee into WWE’s stomach, letting him drop out of the corner. Seamus pulls WWE to his feet and gets underneath him and hauls him up to his shoulders. Seamus tags in Damon, Damon climbs to the top rope and leaps and catches WWE with a bulldog from the top! WWE is dead! To add insult to injury, Seamus pulls WWE to his feet and drops him with a Black and Tan. DeBeers jumps on the apron trying to distract the referee, but Seamus charges across the ring and catches him with a right cross. Wrath falls on WWE, hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three.
WINNERS in 4:21 – Gaelic Storm
BLITZ & ZK DEBEERS vs. MARK VANDER & BUNNY
The lyrical exploits of Eminem blare across the arena as Bunny and Mark Vander make their way to the ring. Bunny handsprings around the ring a couple of times as Vander looks on from the ring apron. Blitz and ZK DeBeers come down second, with DeBeers’ full entourage in tow. The lovely Miss Regina Ophelia Hollandaise parades around the ring and gives a seductive smile to our referee, Mel Creech. Blitz and Bunny start out. Collar and elbow tie up, and Blitz backs Bunny into a corner. He grabs a headlock and tries a running bulldog, but Bunny throws him forward and Blitz crashes to the mat. Bunny hits the ropes and flies off with a back elbow. Standing Moonsault and Bunny covers for 1…2…and DeBeers rushes in to break up the pin. Creech intercepts Vander, and DeBeers blasts Bunny with a Tajiri Kick. Blitz hurls Bunny into the corner and does the Elijah Burke handstand-on-the-ropes-into-an-elbow. A Fisherman Suplex gets Blitz a 2 count. DeBeers gets tagged in and slams Bunny to the mat. Jumping Leg drop gets a 2 count. Bunny reverses a whip and drops down; DeBeers hurdles him and rebounds off the opposite rope, only to be met with a high impact dropkick. Bunny somersaults to his corner and tags in Vander. Vander greets DeBeers with and elbow and a scoop slam. An Irish whip is next; Vander catches DeBeers and Hot Shots his throat across the top rope. Somewhere Eddie Gilbert is smiling! Vander tries for a Clothesline from Hell, but DeBeers ducks and Vander’s momentum carries him into a corner. Effrom Chartreuse Washington jumps on the apron, drawing Creech’s attention, when Wu Wu Ehunga and The Nerve Agent. suddenly drag Vander to the floor and begin wailing away with stomps and kicks. Blitz intercepts Bunny and they trade punches, chops and elbows as DeBeers joins the discussion with Creech. WWE and TNA BLAST Vander with a Con-Chair-To. The ‘Samoans’ then give the slumping Vander an encore performance. Bunny turns around into a DeBeers clothesline and Creech turns his attention back to the match.
DeBeers hits a Samoan Drop on Bunny for a 2 count. A cocky DeBeers locks in a Sharpshooter. Bunny struggles to the ropes, but DeBeers drags him back to the middle. Bunny again struggles towards the ropes. DeBeers lets go and Bunny crawls to his corner. DeBeers watches with a smile as Bunny strains an arm up for a tag, and no one is home. Bunny gets to his feet and spots Vander on the floor unconscious. He turns around to be clothes lined over the ropes by DeBeers. Blitz keeps Creech distracted and the ‘Samoans’ pound away on Bunny. TNA tosses Bunny into the ring, and DeBeers tags Blitz back in. Snap suplex. DDT for a 2 count. Blitz goes up top and attempts a SSP…. But NOBODY’S HOME! Bunny rolls out of harms way and kips up. He catches Blitz with a couple of left hands and a body slam. Springboard Bunnysault for a 2 count. German release suplex. Bunny hops to the top turnbuckle and NAILS a 630 backsplash! Bunny Covers for 1…2…and again, DeBeers is in to break up the pin. Blitz and ZK hit a double suplex. ECW kicks Vander on the floor to make sure he is still out of commission.
Suddenly, The crowd erupts and Davin Moreland, and Carl From Fresno come charging to ringside. Carl stands over Vander while Davin keeps the rest of the Diamond Exchange corralled. In the ring, Bunny sidesteps Blitz’s spear attempt and hits a handspring back elbow. Bunny drags himself over for the cover and gets 1…2… and Blitz gets his shoulder up. Davin is shouting encouragement to Bunny from the floor, when suddenly, Carl climbs on the apron and tags himself in! House-of-fire offense for Carl and Blitz is sent scurrying into his corner. DeBeers tags back in and halts Carl’s flurry with a low blow. A vicious power slam sends Carl rolling back into Bunny’s corner. Bunny tags in, and hops into the ring. DeBeers ducks Bunny’s charge and kicks him in the gut. YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB BUNNY! But before Bunny can hit the face-plant; DeBeers catches Bunny in mid-air and hits a sit out 2-handed choke slam. One Diamond Driver later and DeBeers gets an easy 1…2…and 3.
WINNERS in 10:46; ZK DeBeers and Blitz!
AMNESIAC vs. TYTAN
Tytan enters first, accompanied by Dr. Podvod. The crowd gets in the requisite boo-age as Tytan makes his way down the ramp and into the ring. The Amnesiac appears a moment later and makes his way toward the ring. He stares down Tytan (who is flexing like a madman inside the ring) as he steps through the ropes. This match is on!
The two combatants tie up and Tytan uses his power advantage to force The Amnesiac into the corner. Tytan lands a few vicious forearm shots before The Amnesiac is able to use his quickness to make his way back to the middle of the ring. A frustrated Tytan charges at The Amnesiac but The Amnesiac deftly side-steps and connects with a picturesque dropkick to the side of Tytan's head. Tytan quickly gets back to his feet and connects with a lightning-quick clothesline that floors The Amnesiac. Tytan takes this moment to plug Ultimo Inc.'s new product, Turbex. Tytan tells the crowd that they are only one pill away from extra speed. Tytan begins to elaborate on the numerous payment plans available for this product, but he's caught in a quick roll-up by The Amnesiac. One...Two...Tytan kicks out! Tytan gets back to his feet and looks none-too-happy. Is it because of the near-pin or because The Amnesiac interrupted his endorsement spot? I guess we'll never know. Tytan whips The Amnesiac off the ropes but The Amnesiac is able to duck a clothesline attempt and bounces himself off the far ropes. He attempts a flying cross-body, but Tytan catches him and turns it into a devastating power slam. Tytan goes for the cover. One...Two...The Amnesiac kicks out. Tytan picks up a groggy Amnesiac and whips him hard into the corner. The impact is so powerful the The Amnesiac stumbles back toward the center of the ring. Tytan grabs him a delivers a beautiful high-angle belly-to-belly suplex. He goes for the cover again. One...Two...Tytan actually lifts The Amnesiac's shoulder off the mat. He then does the Scott Steiner "insulting pushups", except Tytan only uses one hand. And then he switches to the other. The crowd is booing wildly at this display of arrogance. Tytan takes too long in showing off his "enhanced" physique, and this allows The Amnesiac to sneak in behind him and catch him with a quick neck-breaker. Tytan gets back to his feet just in time to see The Amnesiac flying at him. He catches The Amnesiac and has him in a power bomb position, but The Amnesiac reverses it into a hurricanrana. Cover. One...Two...Tytan manages to kick out. The Amnesiac puts a few boots to Tytan and then climbs to the top rope. He sails through the air looking to land a frog-splash, but Tytan is able to move out of the way just in time. The Amnesiac crashes and burns hard and Tytan starts to get up to his feet. Tytan pulls The Amnesiac up by his head and throws him into the corner. Tytan charges in after him and connects with a spear that takes all the wind out of The Amnesiac. In fact, The Amnesiac just kind of slumps to the ground, so Tytan goes for the cover. One...Two...The Amnesiac grabs the bottom rope! A rage seems to be building inside Tytan as he begins to threaten the referee. The ref warns him that he'd better stop or risk being disqualified. For a moment it looks as if Tytan is going to lay the referee out, but has a change of heart and decides to take out his frustration on The Amnesiac instead. The only problem is that when Tytan turns around, The Amnesiac is where he was before. Before Tytan can locate his whereabouts, The Amnesiac delivers a shoulder-block to the back of Tytan's knee. Tytan goes down to one knee, grabbing at the other knee in some obvious pain. The Amnesiac bounces off the far ropes, launches himself off of Tytan's one good knee, and connects with a shining wizard! The Amnesiac goes for the cover, but there is no referee. It seems Dr. Podvod has his distracted on the other side of the ring. The Amnesiac goes over to get the ref's head back in the game while Tytan starts to shake off the cobwebs from that vicious knee strike. The Amnesiac is pleading with the referee to turn around, but Dr. Podvod has a death-grip on the ref's shirt. The Amnesiac decides to cut the problem off at the source and goes straight for Dr. Podvod. Just then, Tytan manages to get to his feet. Dr. Podvod releases her hold on the referee a split-second before The Amnesiac can get to her. Dr. Podvod quickly grabs a chair and slides it in to Tytan. The Amnesiac turns around just in time to be leveled by a wicked chair shot.
WINNER by disqualification in 12:17 - The Amnesiac
Although the bell is ringing to signify the end of the match, Tytan continues to land vicious blows to the prone Amnesiac. The referee is unable to stop this beating. All of a sudden, the crowd begins to cheer wildly. The camera pans to the entrance ramp and we see all of Team Rick running toward the ring. Davin Moreland and Stank are the first to make it inside the ring, and they go right after Tytan. Tytan tries to fight back for a moment, but as the ring fills with more and more of Rick's crew, he powders out and escapes through the crowd with Dr. Podvod. Team Rick helps The Amnesiac to his feet as the crowd cheers even harder.
CHRIS COLE vs. OUTBACK JACK
Some not so nice words at the bell, and a stiff lockup to a draw. Seriously, that's the match. They remained tangled up for 60 minutes and the time limit expired. Crowd booed the finish. Okay, maybe not, but the collar and elbow tie-up goes nowhere, so they decide a slugout is a better idea. OBJ with the better of that, to the ropes and a backdrop. Up and an arm drag, then another, and anoth... wait, Cole bailed to the floor instead. OBJ follows right out and jumps CC from behind. Up the aisle they brawl, Jack getting the better of it. Back down toward ringside, and OBJ suplexes Cole on the concrete. Jack wants a DDT, but Cole grabs the guardrail. Referee Barros out to regain control, and in the fracas, CC gets a low blow. Back in, and Cole pounds on OBJ. Up and a knee lift, then a Russian leg sweep. Choke in the corner and we get a break. back in, but Jack kicks him in the face and gets a bulldog. Two count, and OBJ grabs a cross face chicken wing, and Cole goes to the ropes immediately. Clean break and Cole fusses about hair being pulled. Jack charges in with the Cactus clothesline, but Cole sees it last minute and dumps him over the top and to the floor. Cole stalks him out and sends him to the post. And again. Cole slams Jack's arm on the stairs, then slams his head into the stairs, too. Back in, and Cole kicks the shit out of OBJ. Delayed vertical suplex... but Cole drops forward with a gourd buster instead. That gets two. Inverted DDT gets two. Finally Cole just gets frustrated and dumps him to the floor. Cole tells Barros to count him out, and Jack rolls back in at 7, so Cole stomps him down. Butterfly suplex but a measured knee drop misses. Cole tries again, and Jack rolls out of the way again. OBJ up and sends Cole to the ropes, but Cole reverses and nails OBJ with a hotshot on the way back. One, two, but Jack gets his foot on the rope. German suplex is blocked, and Jack rolls him up for two. CC pops right up, but Jack ducks a clothesline and opens up with right hands. Back to the ropes, and OBJ sends him for the ride... spine buster! That only gets two though. Jack looks for the BOOMERANG~! But Cole uses his own momentum against him and sends him hard to the turnbuckle. HEADLINER~! But Jack counters and flips it over to his own! But Cole blocks that and flips it again, but they run into the ropes and the ref and things break down. Barros falls out to the floor. Cole crawls up and sees the ref on the floor, so he pulls out some brass knuckles... but Jack kicks them away before he can put them on. Jack beats him back to the corner. OBJ climbs the turnbuckle for some punches, but Cole walks out of the corner and plants Jack's face on the turnbuckle. CC staggers across the ring and grabs his knux, but referee Barros is back in the ring and catches him with them! Cole feigns innocence and tosses them away, blaming some fan for throwing them in the ring. Cole shoves Barros and Barros shoves back, and Jack schoolboys Cole for the three count!!
WINNER in 16:19: OUTBACK JACK
ERIC O’MAC & TYSON KINCAID vs. STANK & CONCRETE TG
Davis Hightower is YOUR referee!
EOM and Kincaid first, the crowd booing heartily as they stride to the ring. There's a pause, then a chorus of voices is heard on the speakers:
"We are the fearless ones!
We are the loaded guns!
With nothing left to lose
We are the reckless youth!"
Pillar's "Reckless Youth" cranks up and CTG strides out proudly, wearing his traditional colors except for a dark purple and red "TR" where his griffon insignia usually appears. He poses and takes a few steps down the ramp, pauses, then waves back to the entrance, where Stank reluctantly stomps out, wearing a dark purple uniform with the same logo stamped on the left side of his outfit. He has a mask in his hands and shakes his head at Crete, who shrugs and finishes his walk to the ring. Kincaid and EOM shake their heads at the unlikely team. The two faces hit the ring as Kincaid and EOM slide out. Crete points out all the fans in the Hurri-crete and Moosey shirts, and waves to Piromu before picking up a mic:
CTG: Fellow citizens, despite our difficulties to attend this event tonight, I want you to be assured that the members of Team Rick are at last UNITED for a common cause! The ruffians of Team Bennett are --
(Stank grabs the mic)
Stank: We gonna kick their asses or what???
The crowd erupts, and as Crete turns to apologize he's blindsided by EOM. The bell rings and we're underway!
EOM puts Crete to the mat and pounds away, not standing til ref Hightower gets to 4. EOM slaps Crete around a couple of times before dragging him to the corner and tagging Kincaid in. Both stomp Crete a few times and taunt Stank enough to get him into the ring. Ref Hightower has to back him up while they stomp him further. Kincaid grabs an arm as Hightower turns around and drags Crete out of the corner and stands him up. Kincaid whips Crete to the ropes and drops him again with a leg lariat. Quick cover only gets a one count. Kincaid whips Crete to a neutral corner and splashes him there, then follows quickly with a couple of shoulderblocks. He hip tosses Crete out of the corner and drops a quick elbow, once again only getting a one count. Kincaid gets Crete off the mat and slings him to the ropes. Crete catches himself and taunts Kincaid, making him charge. LOW BRIDGE! Kincaid sprawls to the floor. Crete turns quickly and pancakes Kincaid with a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA! The two of them work their way to their feet when EOM leaps on Crete with a HURRACARANA that slams him into the ring steps! The two of them start double teaming Crete as Hightower starts the 10-count. Stank drops off the apron and marches over to the other three and mows them ALL over with clotheslines! He slings EOM into the steps before tossing Crete back in the ring (at 6) and (after a punch or two) Kincaid. He steps on EOM on his way back to the apron to add insult to injury.
Crete is on one knee, shaking out the cobwebs when he takes a low dropkick to the face from Kincaid. Cover gets a long 2 count. Kincaid gathers Crete and slams him with Northern lights suplex. Another 2 count! Kincaid hits him with the T-bone suplex. ANOTHER 2-count! Kincaid slaps the mat before gathering Crete again and slamming him into a corner. EOM tagged in, two stomps to Crete and a flying forearm to Stank! Stank GLARES down at EOM, who scrabbles back toward the prone Crete. The big man climbs in and Hightower orders him back. Stank nods, grabs his tag team partner and drags him back to the corner. He quietly climbs out (still holding Crete's arm) tags, and climbs back in. EOM protests that Stank can't do that, but Hightower's letting that one go for now. Stank reaches for EOM, who dodges and tries to topple the big man with a posting enzugiri. Stank just grins as EOM falls on his face. EOM backs up to the ropes and tries a flying forearm. Stank catches him and slams him to the mat. He storms over to Kincaid and asks if he wants some. Kincaid refuses to back down so Stank hip tosses him over the ropes, into the ring and ON TOP OF EOM! He stomps them both, Hightower is begging Stank to just work on the legal man but it takes a four count before Stank honors that request. Kincaid gets up and is visibly upset and starts screaming at Hightower to do his job. Hightower starts arguing with Kincaid as Stank slides EOM out of the ring. He checks on Crete a moment before climbing out to heap more abuse on Eric, but is BLASTED by a steel chair! Hightower's still arguing with Kincaid as EOM slams Stank over and over again, almost toppling the big man. EOM then slings Stank into the barricade. Kincaid finally climbs out of the ring and Hightower hurries to the other side to start a 10-count on Stank and EOM. Stank crawls toward the ring but EOM is stomping all over his back. Crete decides to get involved and tackles Eric with a FLYING SEATED SENTON off the apron to the floor! Stank slides into the ring at 8 and Hightower restarts the count, ordering Crete to let Eric go. Crete swings EOM back into the ring and bounds to the corner, where the ref starts his 10-count over. Stank is getting some of his wind back when Eric hits the ring at 5. Hightower gets out of the way as Eric stumbles to the corner to tag in Kincaid and Stank crawls toward Crete. CTG is rallying the crowd by stomping the steps and slapping the turnbuckle. The crowd rallies louder and just before Kincaid grabs Stank, the big man gets a TAG! And Kincaid eats SUPER HERO CROSS BODY! The two tumble around the mat trading punches before Kincaid rolls around to get Crete in the half-crab but gets kicked back to the corner. Crete gets his footing and charges the corner, knocking EOM off the apron. Crete slings Kincaid to the ropes and flooring him with a drop toehold. EOM climbs up to the top rope to intercept but Stank steps in between and catches him. The Hero and his sidekick exchange knowing looks, then Kincaid eats FINAL JUSTICE! Stank eats the STANK U!
WINNERS in 11:14 Concrete and Stank!
POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND
The S&M version of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” comes over the PA, and the crowd gets to their feet, expecting a potential classic. Poe gets to the top of the ramp, flanked by Selena, and is immediately greeted with a very loud chorus of boos. Poe is visibly surprised by this reaction, considering he grew his legend not far away in Japan. Poe, to his credit, takes it in stride, and Selena helps him into the ring. He does his usual pose, and the crowd boos him unmercifully. Poe again looks very surprised, but hands Selena his duster and towel, and nods to referee Sterling Glaw. The lights go dark and the strains of the guitar from “Pull Me Under” starts, immediately the arena’s roof blows off. Apparently, Davin Moreland is doing the long entrance tonight, complete with red flood lights and the audio break as he appears at the top of the ramp to furious applause, immediately kicking the audio back on just in time for the heavy section. He raises his arms in the air in the classic “Victory” pose to, let’s just say “excessive”, pyro. He does his due diligence with the fans; slapping hands and chatting them up. He’s doing a good job hiding any discomfort from his cracked ribs. Completing the visual, he one hops from the floor to the apron, and then again over the top rope, to a just insane ovation. He nods to Glaw, and imitates a bunny rabbit by hopping around the ring. The crowd joins in his laughter. Poe is not amused. Glaw can’t hear himself think, so he has to wait to make eye contact with the timekeeper before calling for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
But before the two big men can lock up, the OOTron crackles to life and we see LJ Bennett grinning on the screen.
{i]Davin Moreland, you just don’t get it do you? It seems like you have taken it upon yourself to protect those who deserve punishment from getting what they deserve. You see, Mr. Poe did what he did to Bunny because Bunny had it coming. It’s the natural order of things. Bunny is small and weak, therefore he is natural prey for men like Poe. Well, that and Poe is just a nasty sumbitch. Now, I could fine you, I could suspend you, and to be perfectly honest, those things are probably coming in the very near future anyway. But taking away your time in the ring, or a paycheck from your pocket just doesn’t strike me as a good enough punishment. So tonight, because you dared mess with the natural order of things, you will see the…….unpleasant side of nature, because your match tonight is no longer a one fall match. No sir, Mr. Moreland, your match is now two out of three falls. You have fun.[/i]
<the screen fades to black>
POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – 2 out of 3 Falls
Davin and Poe are apparently exchanging trash talk; not that either of them can hear it. Finally they lock up. Poe tries to bully Davin across the ring, but he won’t give an inch. Eventually, it’s Davin who gets the leverage and shoves Poe away. Poe’s got that genuinely surprised look again, while Davin does his Scott Steiner imitation. Poe is livid being shown up like this. In anger, he charges Davin, who ole’s him into the corner. Poe turns around to see Davin doing some Hogan poses in his direction. Visibly frustrated, Poe angrily slaps the turnbuckle a couple times, acting completely out of character. The trash talk starts again, and the two near. Finally, Poe can take no more of this, and attempts a SLAP OF DISRESPECT, but Davin catches his arm and DRILLS Poe between the eyes with a right hand. Glaw tries to warn him about the closed fist but, you know, yeah right. Still holding Poe’s arm, he blasts away with straight right hands all the way to the turnbuckle. Still blasting away, Glaw steps in like a good referee asking for the break. He gives Davin a 4 count before physically pulling him away. Poe is rocked in the corner, but as Glaw steps away, and Davin moves back in, Poe hits a kick to the gut and nimbly moves into a Swinging Neckbreaker, allowing Poe to clear the cobwebs a bit. Poe’s to his feet first, and picks up Davin. Then he picks him WAY up for a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. That ought to feel nice on the ribs. Quick cover gets a weak 2 count. He pulls Davin to his feet and hooks him up for a loooooooooooooong DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX. The crowd oohs and ahs and they relax a little bit. Another cover gets another weak 2 count. He picks Davin up and whips him into the ropes, catches him and hits a SPINNING SPINEBUSTER right into a pinning combination: 1, 2, NO. Davin kicks out, but Poe seems to be in complete control. He pulls Davin up again, picks him up, hits a MILITARY PRESS SLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Now it’s Poe’s turn to pose, and on the outside, Selena is getting some kicking in. Poe finally bails to the floor. He picks Davin up and hits some barrier and apron related offense before tossing Davin into the STEEL STEPS, separating them and splaying them on the floor. Poe smiles and goes over to Davin again, hitting a HUGE POWERBOMB on the floor. He bundles back into the ring, and Glaw starts to count.
Davin is up at 8, and manages to get to the apron. Poe decides to bring him in the hard way, and hooks him up for a Vertical Suplex into the ring, and gets him up…but Davin pulls his knees to his chest, throwing off Poe’s balance, and Davin lands on his feet still being held around the head. Neckbreaker! Both men are down now, and Glaw starts a double count. Poe is actually up first at 7, although Davin isn’t too far behind. Poe runs across the ring to attack, and Davin takes a step to close the distance, hitting a SPINEBUSTER. Davin’s still not 100%, so he takes a couple seconds before going on the attack. He bends over Poe…and is GOOZLED. Poe stands up demonically, and swings Davin’s arm around his head. As Poe goes up for the Choke slam, Davin reverses mid-move and locks on a CROSSFACE! The crowd gets back to their feet. Davin throws out a couple “TAP YOU SON OF A BITCH”es and Poe tries to roll through, but Davin hangs on. Poe is in some BIG TROUBLE. It appears Poe is about to tap, but Selena hops on the apron, which distracts Glaw. With the referee’s attention diverted, Poe manages to nail Davin with a LOW BLOW! Selena jumps off the apron just Poe has Davin in a ROLL-UP! Poe grabs a handful of tights and uses the rope for leverage out of the sight of Glaw as he counts: 1, 2, 3 just as Davin manages to kick out.
THE WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL by (ironically) DARLING FINISH…POE!
Needless to say, Davin is LIVID and gets right in the face of Sterling Glaw, who’s only response is to shrug and make the international sign for “I didn’t see anything”. Davin considers decking Glaw, but thinks better of it and retreats to the corner. The one minute rest period is over, and Glaw calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY…AGAIN!
Davin takes no detours toward Poe, and Poe is ready as he hits a Drop Toe Hold and Davin faceplants into the turnbuckle. Poe moves quickly and hits a BIG RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX and hurriedly goes for a cover: 1, 2, NO! Poe slaps the mat as that was very nearly the end. He gets up to attack again and eats a right hand to the stomach. Davin scrambles to his feet…DDT! He runs the ropes…SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT. He goes to the nearest corner and one-hops the turnbuckle…SHOOTING STAR PRESS! COVER: 1, 2, th..NO! Poe kicked out! Davin is undeterred and pulls up Poe again and tosses him into the ropes, Davin runs the opposite ropes in a criss-cross spot…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER. The crowd goes nuts as the impact bounces Poe from his stomach to his back. Instead of covering, Davin decides to go for the SHARPSHOOTER! It’s in the middle of the ring and Poe is barely conscious. There will be no low blow this time, and Selena, predictably hops the apron, but this time Glaw ignores her. Poe simply can’t stand the torque on his back any longer, is forced to tap out.
THE WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL by SUBMISSION…DAVIN MORELAND
Poe is humiliated that he had to tap out, and tries to argue with Glaw, who gives him a look like “what are you arguing about”? About halfway through the rest period, Selena, on the outside, starts to do housecleaning on the Water Islandian Announce Table. Hmm. Poe is holding his back, and Davin is wincing when he inhales, signaling the ribs aren’t feeling so good. The crowd is up and pumped now as Glaw calls for the bell for the final fall…WE’RE UNDERWAY YET AGAIN!
The trash talk starts again. Davin makes the international sign for tapping out, which enrages Poe; showing an awful lot of raw emotion tonight. Lockup moves into a side headlock for Poe, and Poe just punches Davin in the face. Ow. Davin falls flat on his back, and Poe jumps on him for a cover, and he doesn’t even get a 1 count as Davin escapes and gets away. Poe charges, and Davin steps in…INVERTED ATOMIC DROP. He goes for a Really Good Diamond Cutter, but Poe just does shove him off. Poe takes advantage and hits a LUNGBLOWER. That’s good for a solid 2 count. Poe goes to pick Davin up, but Davin is playing possum and he tosses him over the top rope with a BIIIIIGGGG BACK BODY DROP! Selena wasn’t paying attention and couldn’t get out of the way of a falling Poe, likely powdering her out for the rest of the night. After a short recovery time, Davin heads out to the floor for some clubberin’. Instead, a woozy Poe gains a moment of clarity and SPEARS him INTO THE STEEL POST! If not for Physics, he would have been THROUGH the Steel Post. Poe recovers a bit before picking up a piece of the STEEL STEPS, and BLASTS Davin in the head with it…AND AGAIN! Davin is in rough shape, but Poe is having a hard time pulling him into the ring. Finally, as Davin is almost upright, he finds a reserve and pulls on the hand that was pulling him up, and delivers a STIFF KICK to Poe’s shoulder, and it’s probably a separated shoulder now. The Steel Steps beating has left Davin bleeding from 3 or 4 points on his head, and he’s only upright because he’s leaning against the ring. Poe turns around and charges again, and gets ole’d into the STEEL POST. Davin summons one last reserve of strength and drags Poe to the Water Islandian Announce Table, and puts him on top. Davin goes up as well. On “spaghetti legs”, Davin pulls Poe nearly to a standing position, and Davin turns his back to him…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE WATER ISLANDIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! Poe is DEAD! Davin is DEAD! Glaw is SCARED, and he runs out to make sure the two are still breathing. He’s unable to confirm that, and immediately calls for the bell.
THE DECISION IN THIS FALL IS A NO CONTEST STOPPAGE.
The paramedics are summoned immediately to ringside, and Poe, Davin and Selena all do the stretcher job. Davin is the last stretcher up the ramp, and as they near the top, he makes the Run DLP Hand/Gang Sign (the ASL letters for D, L and P), and the crowd batshits themselves; even though it was a no contest.
YOUR DECISION in 32:26 is a 1-1 DRAW!
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. JUSTIN SANE – DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title Match
Moosehead Jack is announced and he comes to the ring first with the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title belt strapped around his waist. Moose drops the title at the announce table and rolls into the ring and slumps into the corner and waits for Justin Sane. Sane comes out from the back and pauses at the top of the ramp, then gives the universal “just wait a damn minute!” sign, then steps behind the curtain and comes out with a large cart, LOADED with plunder! Sane strains to pull the massive load, and heads down the ramp with it. Well naturally the cart gains momentum all its own and picks up speed down the ramp, causing Sane to scream in terror and run to the ring. Sane slides into the ring just before he would have been crushed by the cart, which slams into the ring, and tips over. Sane gets to his feet, dusts himself off, looks pretty proud of himself, then turns around, only to come face to face with Moosehead Jack. Moose glares at Sane for a moment, then head butts him right between the eyes sending Sane to the mat. Moose pulls Sane to his feet and hammers him with rights and lefts to the face, then sends him to the ropes, and catches him with a high back body drop that sends him over the top rope, crashing into the wreckage of plunder on the tipped cart on the floor below. Sane disappears in the wreckage of the plunder and there is no movement for a moment. Moose looks around and sneers at the crowd when they start the HE IS IN-SANE clap clap clapclapclap chant. Finally after a minute or so of waiting, Sane emerges from the wreckage with a metal bucket on his head, a garbage can lid as a shield, and a lead pipe as his sword. Sane climbs to the top of the pile and strikes a noble pose and yells to the crowd NOW I WILL VANQUISH THE EVIL MOOSE! Sane climbs between the ropes and marches right up to Moose, Moose looks amused, then catches Sane with a knee to the midsection, doubling him over in pain. Moose grabs the pipe from the mat, and swats Sane in the head with it, letting the PING echo through out the arena as lead pipe meets metal bucket. Sane falls to the mat and Moose tears the bucket off his head and smashes him in the face with it, but decides not to go for the cover. Moose pulls Sane to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him for a side slam, but Sane reverses it into a head scissors take over. Moose gets to his feet and Sane catches him with a drop kick that sends Moose over the top rope to the apron. Moose is getting his bearings facing the pile of plunder when Sane gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and catches Moose by the head and BULLDOGS him into the pile o’plunder! The crowd erupts into a HOLY SHIT! chant! Sane gets to his feet first and rummages through the pile, throwing everything he can get his hands on at Moose, pelting him with a toaster, a cookie sheet, Stop Sign, a mallard duck, the kitchen sink, a fender for a ’49 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon, and finally an iParrot. The iParrot catches Moose on the forehead opening a gash that only seems to piss Moose off. Moose grabs a length of logging chain and starts chasing Sane around the ring swinging the chain wildly over his head. The crowd erupts into a HUSS! HUSS! HUSS! Chant, and finally Moose tosses the chain, which wraps around Sane’s legs tripping him up and sending him to the floor. Moose pulls the chain in, and reels him in like he is a fish stuck on a hook. Moose tosses the chain over the ring post and pulls until Sane is hanging upside down. Once the chain is hooked to the ring side barricade, Moose is free to wander over to the pile o’plunder, he rummages around for a moment, and pulls out a box. Moose gets an odd look on his face and opens it up, then snaps it shut after a few words fall out of it. Digging around a little more, he finds Ayaka’s old bat. Moose walks back to Sane and is about to use him as a piñata, when Sane shows he has a few tricks up his sleeve! He blows a handful SPARKLY GLITTER into Moose’s face! NOT SPARKLY GLITTER!! Oh, wait. Moose recoils a bit, then realizes that sparkly glitter will not hurt you, it is just REALLY annoying to get off you. Moose snarls and swings for the fences, but Sane frees himself and the bat crashes into the steel ring post, hurting Moose’s hands. Sane slides into the ring as Moose gives chase right behind him. Sane runs to the ropes and rebounds charging at Moose. Sane ducks a clothesline, then rebounds off the opposite ropes and tries a running clothesline of his own, Moose catches his arm, twists it, HEARTPUNCH! Sane drops to his knees gasping for breath. Moose reaches down and grabs the garbage can lid and SLAMS it across Sane’s head sending him to the mat. Moose leaves the ring and comes back with a barbed wire wrapped chair and takes aim at Sane’s head, but Sane fights him off with shots to the gut. Moose stops him by raking the eyes, then pulls Sane up and sends him to the corner, Justin scales the ropes, and tries a cross body block, but Moose is ready with the chair and BLASTS Sane in mid air! Justin could be dead. Moose pulls Sane’s carcass to the middle of the ring and locks him in the ji-endo, it takes the referee about two seconds to call for the bell, ending the match.
WINNER in 10:05 and STILL OOWF DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – Moosehead Jack
<We cut to the back where SFJ27 is with Phantos and Lucios>
SFJ27: Phantos, Lucios, you are defending your Camponas de Trios titles….
Lucios: championships
SFJ27: Err, right. Well tonight you are defending those……championships…..but it seems that you are down a partner since Davin Moreland just waged a bloody war against Poe. What are you going to do?
Phantos: Well, it’s very simple really, when we won these championships we won them for Run DLP. And what that means is any member of Run DLP is allowed to step in and team with us.
Lucios: So allow me to introduce our partner for the evening………Alexis Darling.
<Alexis walks out and joins Phantos and Lucios>
SFJ13: Wow, Alexis! This is quite a step up for you, are you ready for this challenge?
Alexis: Don’t let the looks fool you, I have been trained by, and with the best in the world. I can more than hold my own in that ring……after all, I AM a Darling. BOOYAH BITCH!
<Phantos, Lucios and Alexis walk off>
PHANTOS, LUCIOS & ALEXIS DARLING vs. THE WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Championship Match
The strains of Van Halen course throughout the arena, as “Right Now” is heard from everyone in the arena. Attitude Adjuster and the World’s Gayest Fag Team (F. Fonzworth MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore) make their respective way down the ramp and into the ring much to the displeasure and derision of the crowd. Davis Hightower just stands back trying not to laugh and AA and the WGFT raise their arms victoriously to the excessive boos from the crowd. Finally Run DMC’s “Walk This Way” fires up and the crowd jumps to their feet cheering their collective asses off as Phantos, Lucios and…Alexis Darling (?!??!) make their way down to the ramp slapping hands with and playing to the crowd, well, Phantos and Lucios are. Alexis looks…is that nervous? The three climb into the ring and raise their Campeonas De Trios belts high above their heads, to cheers. Hightower takes them and raises them into the air himself before handing them over to the timekeeper. This match is for the Campeonas De Trios Championship. Hightower calls for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY!
After some conversation, it looks like it will be the two big men to start, as Lucios and FFM meet in the middle of the ring. They look to lock up, but FFM drills Lucios in the gut with a stiff kick. He follows that up with a big European Uppercut, which staggers Lucios. He goes behind Lucios and hits a Neck breaker. Quick cover for a one count. FFM pull Lucios up and lays into him with more typical big man office, culminating in several shoulder tackles against the turnbuckle. He looks to pull the weakened Lucios to the top, looking for the Greetings From Pacific Heights; but Lucios is able to fight him of and hit a BIG SUPERPLEX from the top. FFM is in rough shape, but so is Lucios, after a few tense seconds, they both tag out, and AA and Phantos are your new two legal wrestlers.
Phantos charges while AA waits, and AA looks like he’s going to counter; but Phantos out-thinks him and snaps off an AWESOME Head Scissors Takeover, and that gets a roar from the crowd. Phantos looks to bump up the RPMs and hits a Springboard Moonsault. Not satisfied, he hits a Standing Shooting Star Press! Cover: 1, 2, NO! The count is broken when AA reaches Phantos’ face and locks on THE CLAW! AA’s black-gloved right hand allows him to get to his feet, while Phantos is powerless to do anything about it. AA hits a couple of fat guy kicks before tossing Phantos into the corner. FAT GUY SPLASH! AND AGAIN! AA takes a second to catch his breath, and he has time because Phantos is NOT looking good. He casually walks over to the corner and wraps an arm around Phantos’ head…ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Quickly into the cover: 1, 2…and Alexis Darling manages to break it up. AA is displeased and locks on THE CLAW. Alexis is in a bad way as Hightower tries to tell AA that she’s not legal. He responds “She looks over 18 to me” and keeps THE CLAW on. Finally, a not-quite-100% Lucios hits AA with a FLYING BURRITO, breaking the hold. This draws FFM and Ryan Hardcore into the ring, and we have ourselves a PIER SIX BRAWL!
Surprisingly, Hightower demonstrates some excellent referee skills and manages to get everyone separated. Finally restoring order, Phantos tags out to Alexis Darling, and AA tags out to Ryan Hardcore. Hightower acknowledges the tag, and the two near each other. Hardcore starts to make some crotch-grabbing lewd gestures to his former conquest, and Alexis fires back with a gesture of her own, telling Hardcore he’s Number One. Enough happy-crappy for Hardcore and he looks for a lockup, but Alexis uses her quickness and hits a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX, felling Hardcore. Alexis just smiles as Hardcore gives her a really pissed off look as he gets to his feet. Hardcore looks for another lockup, but Alexis catches his arm and hits an Arm Wringer-Short-Arm Clothesline Combo, and moving quickly, locks on THE DARLING CLUTCH! They’re in the middle of the ring and Hardcore is in BIG TROUBLE! Phantos and Lucios are on heightened alert expecting AA and FFM to break it up at any second. Hardcore is FADING. Finally, FFM has seen enough and goes to break it up, but Phantos and Lucios manage to cut him off. AA joins the fray and we’ve got PIER FOUR action, and Hightower tries his best to break it up. In the confusion, AA is able to lock on THE CLAW on Alexis, while helping to break the hold. Phantos catches him, and P&L beat him down. With Hightower trying to break that up, that allows Hardcore and FFM to go 2 on 1 with Alexis. MacCappington easily picks Alexis up and brings her to the top rope…GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! He goes over to jump in the other fight, and a weakened Ryan Hardcore is able to get to his feet and pull a nearly unconscious Alexis to her feet. MONEY SHOT! FFM and AA mysteriously back away from the fight, and Hightower turns around and sees a cover: 1, 2, 3! NEW CHAMPS!
WINNERS in 19:26 by PINFALL and NEW CAMPEONAS DE TRIOS CHAMPIONS…THE TEAM OF ATTITUDE ADJUSTER and THE WORLD’S GREATEST FAG TEAM!
Post-match, the three look like they want to do a beat down, but just as it’s about to start, Stank, Outback Jack, The Midnight Sons, Concrete TG and THE Amnesiac (and Monkh for good measure) appear at the top of the ramp and make their way down. The new champs decide it’s boogie-time and they high-tail it through the crowd.
FIREWOMAN vs. THE DEAD – OOWF Onslaught Championship Inferno Match
The gas tubes have been laid around the ring, that will keep a four foot wall of flames around the ring for the duration of the match. The Dead is announced and he makes his way to the ring first, passing right by the flames and barely giving them a second glance. Dead rolls into the ring and waits in the corner. The OOWF Onslaught champion Firewoman is announced and she comes to the top of the ramp flanked by the Maori Flame Team and Lucky. One of the dancers hands Fire a long stick with a flame on the end, and Fire puts it out by swallowing the flame. She gives a sly grin towards Dead, who looks completely unaffected by the display. Fire and Lucky make their way to the ring, Fire stops and hands the official the title and slides under the bottom rope. As soon as Fire is in the ring, before she can even get to her feet Dead charges across the ring and catches her with a boot to the mouth, then follows that with vicious kicks to the back of the head to keep her on the mat. Dead drops a leg across the back of Fire’s head, then drags her to the bottom rope and chokes her. The referee is only there to check and see if someone is on fire, not force breaks or count pins or any of that other stuff. Dead pulls Fire to her feet and hits a trio of German suplexes. Fire is dazed on the mat, Dead lets her get to her feet, then charges across the ring and nearly decapitates her with a clothesline. Dead rolls Fire out of the ring to the floor and follows, dragging Fire by the arm toward the flames with a maniacal look in his eyes. Dead is just about to put her arm in the fire when Lucky distracts Dead long enough for Fire to hit a low blow that sends Dead to his knees. Fire gets to her feet and reaches under the ring and grabs a chair and BLASTS Dead across the face with it. Fire rummages a little more and finds a ladder and leans it on the apron and over the bottom rope. Fire climbs onto the apron and waits, as Dead staggers to his feet, Fire springs over the top rope and lands on the ladder, sending it up and crashing into Dead’s face. Dead turns and staggers right toward the flames, stopping himself just before he would have walked into them. Fire leaves the ring and catches Dead as he turns away from the fire and tries to whip him into the flames, but Dead leaps over the flames, and the barricade, and crashes into the second row of seats, sending OOWF fans scattering. Fire heads up the ramp and hops the rail and makes her way through the crowd to Dead, she grabs him and tries to send him face first into a chair, but Dead blocks the shot and grabs Fire and hits a release belly to belly suplex that sends Fire into the seats. Dead pursues Fire through the people, grabbing a chair and slamming it down on Fire’s wrist as she uses another chair to push herself to her feet. Dead grabs Fire and throws her over the railing back onto the ramp. Fire gets to her feet and staggers up the ramp trying to clear the cobwebs. Dead grabs a chair and pursues, just before Dead can get to her, Fire clears her head and grabs one of the flaming batons held by the Maori Dancer. Fire puts on an impressive display twirling the flaming baton, backing Dead back down the ramp. She jabs it at Dead’s head a couple of times, but he avoids the shots. Dead has been backed all the way down the ramp and is pinned against the announce table, Fire closes in with the flaming torch, and takes a swing at Dead, who, at the same time, grabs a bottle off the table and slams it into the side of Fire’s head. The flame BARELY misses Dead’s face, but he falls to the floor anyway, Fire goes down in a heap and her hair, which has been wisely pulled back into a pony tail, catches fire on the end! The referee turns to check on Dead first, and doesn’t see Lucky furiously stomping out the end of her hair. The referee gets up to check on Fire and smells burnt hair, Lucky quickly acts like he is putting HIS hair out explaining that he got to close to the flames. Evidently the referee buys that. Fire slowly gets to her feet and wipes the blood from the side of head, Dead pulls her to her feet and tries a suplex, but Fire slips out of it and lands on her feet behind Dead, then spins on the mat and takes Dead’s feet from beneath him sending him to the floor as well. Fire motions to Lucky, who hands her a bottle of 198 Proof Evercelar! Fire takes a deep swig and waits for Dead to get to his feet, he does and she flicks her bic and blows, sending a cloud of flames at Dead, Dead tries to drop to the floor and spin away, but the fire catches him on the upper arm and shoulder, burning his skin. The referee has seen enough and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 15:58 and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Firewoman!
Firewoman grabs her title and falls to her knees outside the ring. Lucky runs over and helps her to her feet and they celebrate. While they are celebrating they don’t notice that Dead is already back on his feet and has something in his hands. He grins an evil grin and unleashes a fireball right toward Fire, before she can react, Lucky shoves her aside and takes the fireball right to the face! Lucky falls to the floor writhing in pain as EMT’s rush to ringside. Fire gets a murderous look in her eyes and comes after a laughing Dead, but she is stopped by security. Just then the OOTron crackles to life and we see LJ Bennett:
Awwwwww poor Fire. That is a damn shame about Lucky there. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t see what he did, he cost Dead the title, he got what he deserved! Now, onto you. Fire, I give you SOME credit, you took this match, and despite Lucky’s interference, you still won. Good for you, that’s good. Next week, however, you will be putting that title on the line against Dead in HIS match – a Casket Match. You have fun with that.
With Fire’s eyes transfixed on the screen and rage burning in her mind, she doesn’t see Dead next to her and he BLINDSIDES her with a CLOSE THE CASKET!!! Fire hits the floor out cold. Dead stands over her for a moment staring at her, but before he can do any more damage, members of Team Rick make their way to the ring to stop a beat down. Dead slithers through the crowd and escapes to the back.
IHOP vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
The Midnight Sons come to the ring first, accompanied by Wally B King. Wally’s purpose is immediately clear as he stands in the corner with the Sons, talking and gesturing with his cane, trying to keep them under control while the champions make their entrance. And what an entrance it is, as IHOP, accompanied by the lovely and talented Miss Dorothy Mantooth, stroll to the ring, stopping to show their belts to every ramp side fan. As “We are the Champions” cycles through for the 18th time IHOP reaches the ring. They hand the belts to referee Angelo Barros, who displays them to the crowd for a brief moment before IHOP grabs them back and leaves the ring. They give the belts to Miss Mantooth. who reacts by screaming. SYB and Skurge turn around and Miss Mantooth dives out of the way as Spin Hansen breaking free of Wally, sprints across the ring and dives over the ropes with a no-hands plancha that drives him and IHOP through the ringside barrier. D.H. Magnusson, taking the longer way around, scrapes SYB out of the wreckage, scoops him up, and rams his spine into the ring post. He ignores Barros’ warnings, but seems to hear Wally telling him they can’t win the belts on the floor and stuffs SYB into the ring. Barros sees two men in the ring and calls for the bell.
DHM shoves SYB into the corner and starts laying into him with lefts & rights. SYB falls, so DHM props him back up and goes back to punching. Barros administers a count, then tries to back DHM off, but gets shoved out of the way. Barros decides to let it ride as DHM hurls SYB across the ring with an Irish whip. SYB hits the corner hard and goes up and over the turnbuckles, falling to the floor. DHM is right behind him. DHM stands SYB against the ring post and swings, but SYB moves/falls out of the way and DHM punches steel. SYB rolls to his feet and, since Barros is busy getting Spin & Skurge separated, hits a reverse Jersey Turnpike. He follows up by driving DHM’s face into the ring post. Skurge sees SYB get back in the ring, and breaks with Spin, going to his corner and making an exagerated tag for Barros’ benefit. Skurge sprints across the ring and delivers a field-goal kick to DHM’s face as he gets in the ring. Skurge follows up with a series of kicks and drives an elbow into DHM’s throat. He covers, but DHM kicks out at two. Skurge gets up just in time to be turned inside out by a clothesline from Spin. Barros forces Spin back to his corner, which allows SYB to sneak into the ring for a few cheap shots. Skurge clears the cobwebs, and IHOP drag DHM to their corner. SYB delivers another Jersey Turnpike, then steps out of the ring so he can be officially tagged in. IHOP lift DHM onto the top turnbuckle, and SYB heads to the Son’s corner. He taunts Spin, who tries to enter the ring but is blocked by Barros. SYB turns and sprints toward the IHOP corner, and Skurge elevates him for the Rise and Shine. SYB lands on DHM’s shoulders – and DHM blocks the move, leaping off the turnbuckles and power bombing SYB through Skurge! DHM crawls to his corner and makes the tag. Spin storms into the ring and. scrapes up Skurge, tosses him to the ropes and plants him with a spine buster. He covers, but SYB manages to break it up with a kick to the head. Spin gets to his feet and snarls. He grabs SYB and lifts him for the Spinal Justice, but turns and drops him out of the ring! SYB hits the floor hard and isn’t moving. Skurge, meanwhile, catches Spin from behind with a low blow. He tries to set up a reverse DDT, but DHM snaps, shoves past Barros, and levels him with a clothesline from behind. The Sons stomp Skurge into the mat, then Spin picks him up as DHM climbs the ropes. Spike Pile driver! Spin mounts Skurge and starts driving punches into his face as DHM goes out after SYB. Barros attempts to stop the beating, but soon realizes it’s futile and calls for the bell.
WINNERS by Disqualification, and still OOWF World Tag Team Champions, in 12:43, IHOP.
After the match: The Sons continue to destroy IHOP, fending off security and officials, until Stank, Outback Jack Moosehead Jack and L.D. Williams hit the ring. Instead of enlarging the brawl, Stank and OBJ pull the Sons off while LD and Moose get IHOP to the back.
Live! From Phuket, Thailand
<scene opens in the Team Rick locker room, where Crete and Stank are standing before all those who had been stuck in jail previously>
CTG: Ladies and Gentlemen, while we may not agree on everything, we are allies for the moment, against a common foe.
Stank: WE GONNA KILL EVERY ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS ON BENNETT'S TEAM
CTG: We must steel our resolves against those who wish to inflict such chaos on this company
Stank: YOU GONNA LET THOSE PUNKASSES TAKE YOU? NO!
CTG: We must pull this company back under Rick Scaia's rule
Stank; THIS IS RICK'S HOUSE, NOT BENNETT'S!
CTG: (Nods) thank you, stank, for translating for Seamus and Magnusson
Stank: YEAH~! (takes his seat)
CTG: Now, I made sure that everyone got their Team Rick gear and I hope everything is satisfactory. (holds up a cap with a dark red and purple "TR" emblazoned on it) Now, I shall hand this cap to our leader, Mr. Rick Scaia!
(GMtR walks in and looks the cap over)
GMtR: DAMMIT CRETE THESE AREN'T UNIVERSITY OF DAYTON COLORS!
<We cut to the back where Moosehead Jack is sitting taping his fists when a terrified stagehand comes up to him>
TSH: Uhhhh Mr. Jack, I had NOTHING to do with this, but some of the guys thought it might be a good idea for you to see what is going on in the front row
MHJ: Why? What the hell could be going on in the front row?
TSH: You should probably just look for yourself
<Moose walks over to a monitor and sees most of the front three rows wearing Hurri-Crete and Moosey T-Shirts>
MHJ: GODDAMIT!! <Moose grabs the monitor and shatters it against the wall> I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!
<Moose storms away and finds Crete in the hallway just leaving the Team Rick locker room, security keeps them apart, but we hear the argument>
MHJ: DAMMIT CRETE you said you destroyed all those shirts. I always knew you were a damned LIAR
CTG: Liar? these were from my personal collection. Desperate times and measures.
MHJ: you will die for this
CTG: and who is the liar here? How long have you promised my death, Moose?
MHJ: <smirking> Well it is hard to kill you when you have the referee's in your back pocket now isn't it?
CTG: harder still when you're lackeying for a dandy with a bruised ego
MHJ: I would imagine you would know all about bruised egos Crete. How did that WWE title shot work out? Or even better how has your reception been since your return to the OOWF? You are here to save us right?
CTG: yes I am.... and this time, I have backup. WWE gold wouldn't mean much if you destroyed the league I started in
MHJ: Back up. Right, it looks like you have back up Crete. They all hate you. They hate what you represent. You took the Devil's money, and now you have come back here to redeem your soul. Well guess what Crete, the only way that will EVER happen is for you to get rid of ME. And you know damn well you can't do it
CTG: Team Rick is united so now I can focus on unfinished business.... starting tonight.
MHT: Just be careful Crete, it would be a damn shame if you started a war you couldn't finish.....again
<Moose snarls and turns and walks away, leaving Crete standing in the hall>
GAELIC STORM vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS
WWE and TNA come to the ring accompanied by their boss ZK DeBeers. He gives them a pep talk in the center of the ring. Well, perhaps verbal beat down would be more appropriate. The two men wait as Gaelic Storm is announced and make their way to the ring. The Storm step between the ropes and immediately attack TNA and WWE. Seams grabs WWE and throws him into the corner and blisters him with chops. Wrath catches TNA with a forearm to the side of the head and sends him to the ropes, elevates him high in the air, and catches him in the face with a high knee to the face as TNA comes down. Wrath pulls TNA to his feet and sends him over the top rope to the floor. Seamus pulls WWE out of the corner and whips him to the ropes, and drops down on the mat, as TNA leaps over Seamus’ back, Wrath pops him in the mouth with a super kick that sends him out of the ring with WWE and ZK DeBeers. DeBeers yells at them both and sends them back into the ring. TNA tries to sneak attack Wrath, but he catches him with a spinning kick to the mid section, then hauls him up in a vertical suplex, then hangs him across the top rope. Wrath tags in Seamus, who grabs TNA off the rope, butterflies him and drives him into the mat. Seamus mounts TNA and hammers him in the face with closed fist punches until the referee threatens disqualification. Seamus pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but TNA reverses the whip and DeBeers grabs Seamus leg. Seamus turns and grabs at DeBeers, but ZK backs away to safety. When Seamus turns back around, he catches a clothesline from TNA that sends him to the mat. TNA tags in WWE and they pull Seamus to his feet, let out a Samoan bellow and deliver a double head but. However, this head but did not have the desired effect. Seamus takes the move and stands and looks as both TNA and WWE fall to their knees grabbing their heads. Seamus kicks TNA in the face sending him out of the ring, and pulls WWE up, scoops him up and ties him into the tree of woe in the Storm corner. Seamus gets a running start and drives his knee into WWE’s stomach, letting him drop out of the corner. Seamus pulls WWE to his feet and gets underneath him and hauls him up to his shoulders. Seamus tags in Damon, Damon climbs to the top rope and leaps and catches WWE with a bulldog from the top! WWE is dead! To add insult to injury, Seamus pulls WWE to his feet and drops him with a Black and Tan. DeBeers jumps on the apron trying to distract the referee, but Seamus charges across the ring and catches him with a right cross. Wrath falls on WWE, hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three.
WINNERS in 4:21 – Gaelic Storm
BLITZ & ZK DEBEERS vs. MARK VANDER & BUNNY
The lyrical exploits of Eminem blare across the arena as Bunny and Mark Vander make their way to the ring. Bunny handsprings around the ring a couple of times as Vander looks on from the ring apron. Blitz and ZK DeBeers come down second, with DeBeers’ full entourage in tow. The lovely Miss Regina Ophelia Hollandaise parades around the ring and gives a seductive smile to our referee, Mel Creech. Blitz and Bunny start out. Collar and elbow tie up, and Blitz backs Bunny into a corner. He grabs a headlock and tries a running bulldog, but Bunny throws him forward and Blitz crashes to the mat. Bunny hits the ropes and flies off with a back elbow. Standing Moonsault and Bunny covers for 1…2…and DeBeers rushes in to break up the pin. Creech intercepts Vander, and DeBeers blasts Bunny with a Tajiri Kick. Blitz hurls Bunny into the corner and does the Elijah Burke handstand-on-the-ropes-into-an-elbow. A Fisherman Suplex gets Blitz a 2 count. DeBeers gets tagged in and slams Bunny to the mat. Jumping Leg drop gets a 2 count. Bunny reverses a whip and drops down; DeBeers hurdles him and rebounds off the opposite rope, only to be met with a high impact dropkick. Bunny somersaults to his corner and tags in Vander. Vander greets DeBeers with and elbow and a scoop slam. An Irish whip is next; Vander catches DeBeers and Hot Shots his throat across the top rope. Somewhere Eddie Gilbert is smiling! Vander tries for a Clothesline from Hell, but DeBeers ducks and Vander’s momentum carries him into a corner. Effrom Chartreuse Washington jumps on the apron, drawing Creech’s attention, when Wu Wu Ehunga and The Nerve Agent. suddenly drag Vander to the floor and begin wailing away with stomps and kicks. Blitz intercepts Bunny and they trade punches, chops and elbows as DeBeers joins the discussion with Creech. WWE and TNA BLAST Vander with a Con-Chair-To. The ‘Samoans’ then give the slumping Vander an encore performance. Bunny turns around into a DeBeers clothesline and Creech turns his attention back to the match.
DeBeers hits a Samoan Drop on Bunny for a 2 count. A cocky DeBeers locks in a Sharpshooter. Bunny struggles to the ropes, but DeBeers drags him back to the middle. Bunny again struggles towards the ropes. DeBeers lets go and Bunny crawls to his corner. DeBeers watches with a smile as Bunny strains an arm up for a tag, and no one is home. Bunny gets to his feet and spots Vander on the floor unconscious. He turns around to be clothes lined over the ropes by DeBeers. Blitz keeps Creech distracted and the ‘Samoans’ pound away on Bunny. TNA tosses Bunny into the ring, and DeBeers tags Blitz back in. Snap suplex. DDT for a 2 count. Blitz goes up top and attempts a SSP…. But NOBODY’S HOME! Bunny rolls out of harms way and kips up. He catches Blitz with a couple of left hands and a body slam. Springboard Bunnysault for a 2 count. German release suplex. Bunny hops to the top turnbuckle and NAILS a 630 backsplash! Bunny Covers for 1…2…and again, DeBeers is in to break up the pin. Blitz and ZK hit a double suplex. ECW kicks Vander on the floor to make sure he is still out of commission.
Suddenly, The crowd erupts and Davin Moreland, and Carl From Fresno come charging to ringside. Carl stands over Vander while Davin keeps the rest of the Diamond Exchange corralled. In the ring, Bunny sidesteps Blitz’s spear attempt and hits a handspring back elbow. Bunny drags himself over for the cover and gets 1…2… and Blitz gets his shoulder up. Davin is shouting encouragement to Bunny from the floor, when suddenly, Carl climbs on the apron and tags himself in! House-of-fire offense for Carl and Blitz is sent scurrying into his corner. DeBeers tags back in and halts Carl’s flurry with a low blow. A vicious power slam sends Carl rolling back into Bunny’s corner. Bunny tags in, and hops into the ring. DeBeers ducks Bunny’s charge and kicks him in the gut. YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB BUNNY! But before Bunny can hit the face-plant; DeBeers catches Bunny in mid-air and hits a sit out 2-handed choke slam. One Diamond Driver later and DeBeers gets an easy 1…2…and 3.
WINNERS in 10:46; ZK DeBeers and Blitz!
AMNESIAC vs. TYTAN
Tytan enters first, accompanied by Dr. Podvod. The crowd gets in the requisite boo-age as Tytan makes his way down the ramp and into the ring. The Amnesiac appears a moment later and makes his way toward the ring. He stares down Tytan (who is flexing like a madman inside the ring) as he steps through the ropes. This match is on!
The two combatants tie up and Tytan uses his power advantage to force The Amnesiac into the corner. Tytan lands a few vicious forearm shots before The Amnesiac is able to use his quickness to make his way back to the middle of the ring. A frustrated Tytan charges at The Amnesiac but The Amnesiac deftly side-steps and connects with a picturesque dropkick to the side of Tytan's head. Tytan quickly gets back to his feet and connects with a lightning-quick clothesline that floors The Amnesiac. Tytan takes this moment to plug Ultimo Inc.'s new product, Turbex. Tytan tells the crowd that they are only one pill away from extra speed. Tytan begins to elaborate on the numerous payment plans available for this product, but he's caught in a quick roll-up by The Amnesiac. One...Two...Tytan kicks out! Tytan gets back to his feet and looks none-too-happy. Is it because of the near-pin or because The Amnesiac interrupted his endorsement spot? I guess we'll never know. Tytan whips The Amnesiac off the ropes but The Amnesiac is able to duck a clothesline attempt and bounces himself off the far ropes. He attempts a flying cross-body, but Tytan catches him and turns it into a devastating power slam. Tytan goes for the cover. One...Two...The Amnesiac kicks out. Tytan picks up a groggy Amnesiac and whips him hard into the corner. The impact is so powerful the The Amnesiac stumbles back toward the center of the ring. Tytan grabs him a delivers a beautiful high-angle belly-to-belly suplex. He goes for the cover again. One...Two...Tytan actually lifts The Amnesiac's shoulder off the mat. He then does the Scott Steiner "insulting pushups", except Tytan only uses one hand. And then he switches to the other. The crowd is booing wildly at this display of arrogance. Tytan takes too long in showing off his "enhanced" physique, and this allows The Amnesiac to sneak in behind him and catch him with a quick neck-breaker. Tytan gets back to his feet just in time to see The Amnesiac flying at him. He catches The Amnesiac and has him in a power bomb position, but The Amnesiac reverses it into a hurricanrana. Cover. One...Two...Tytan manages to kick out. The Amnesiac puts a few boots to Tytan and then climbs to the top rope. He sails through the air looking to land a frog-splash, but Tytan is able to move out of the way just in time. The Amnesiac crashes and burns hard and Tytan starts to get up to his feet. Tytan pulls The Amnesiac up by his head and throws him into the corner. Tytan charges in after him and connects with a spear that takes all the wind out of The Amnesiac. In fact, The Amnesiac just kind of slumps to the ground, so Tytan goes for the cover. One...Two...The Amnesiac grabs the bottom rope! A rage seems to be building inside Tytan as he begins to threaten the referee. The ref warns him that he'd better stop or risk being disqualified. For a moment it looks as if Tytan is going to lay the referee out, but has a change of heart and decides to take out his frustration on The Amnesiac instead. The only problem is that when Tytan turns around, The Amnesiac is where he was before. Before Tytan can locate his whereabouts, The Amnesiac delivers a shoulder-block to the back of Tytan's knee. Tytan goes down to one knee, grabbing at the other knee in some obvious pain. The Amnesiac bounces off the far ropes, launches himself off of Tytan's one good knee, and connects with a shining wizard! The Amnesiac goes for the cover, but there is no referee. It seems Dr. Podvod has his distracted on the other side of the ring. The Amnesiac goes over to get the ref's head back in the game while Tytan starts to shake off the cobwebs from that vicious knee strike. The Amnesiac is pleading with the referee to turn around, but Dr. Podvod has a death-grip on the ref's shirt. The Amnesiac decides to cut the problem off at the source and goes straight for Dr. Podvod. Just then, Tytan manages to get to his feet. Dr. Podvod releases her hold on the referee a split-second before The Amnesiac can get to her. Dr. Podvod quickly grabs a chair and slides it in to Tytan. The Amnesiac turns around just in time to be leveled by a wicked chair shot.
WINNER by disqualification in 12:17 - The Amnesiac
Although the bell is ringing to signify the end of the match, Tytan continues to land vicious blows to the prone Amnesiac. The referee is unable to stop this beating. All of a sudden, the crowd begins to cheer wildly. The camera pans to the entrance ramp and we see all of Team Rick running toward the ring. Davin Moreland and Stank are the first to make it inside the ring, and they go right after Tytan. Tytan tries to fight back for a moment, but as the ring fills with more and more of Rick's crew, he powders out and escapes through the crowd with Dr. Podvod. Team Rick helps The Amnesiac to his feet as the crowd cheers even harder.
CHRIS COLE vs. OUTBACK JACK
Some not so nice words at the bell, and a stiff lockup to a draw. Seriously, that's the match. They remained tangled up for 60 minutes and the time limit expired. Crowd booed the finish. Okay, maybe not, but the collar and elbow tie-up goes nowhere, so they decide a slugout is a better idea. OBJ with the better of that, to the ropes and a backdrop. Up and an arm drag, then another, and anoth... wait, Cole bailed to the floor instead. OBJ follows right out and jumps CC from behind. Up the aisle they brawl, Jack getting the better of it. Back down toward ringside, and OBJ suplexes Cole on the concrete. Jack wants a DDT, but Cole grabs the guardrail. Referee Barros out to regain control, and in the fracas, CC gets a low blow. Back in, and Cole pounds on OBJ. Up and a knee lift, then a Russian leg sweep. Choke in the corner and we get a break. back in, but Jack kicks him in the face and gets a bulldog. Two count, and OBJ grabs a cross face chicken wing, and Cole goes to the ropes immediately. Clean break and Cole fusses about hair being pulled. Jack charges in with the Cactus clothesline, but Cole sees it last minute and dumps him over the top and to the floor. Cole stalks him out and sends him to the post. And again. Cole slams Jack's arm on the stairs, then slams his head into the stairs, too. Back in, and Cole kicks the shit out of OBJ. Delayed vertical suplex... but Cole drops forward with a gourd buster instead. That gets two. Inverted DDT gets two. Finally Cole just gets frustrated and dumps him to the floor. Cole tells Barros to count him out, and Jack rolls back in at 7, so Cole stomps him down. Butterfly suplex but a measured knee drop misses. Cole tries again, and Jack rolls out of the way again. OBJ up and sends Cole to the ropes, but Cole reverses and nails OBJ with a hotshot on the way back. One, two, but Jack gets his foot on the rope. German suplex is blocked, and Jack rolls him up for two. CC pops right up, but Jack ducks a clothesline and opens up with right hands. Back to the ropes, and OBJ sends him for the ride... spine buster! That only gets two though. Jack looks for the BOOMERANG~! But Cole uses his own momentum against him and sends him hard to the turnbuckle. HEADLINER~! But Jack counters and flips it over to his own! But Cole blocks that and flips it again, but they run into the ropes and the ref and things break down. Barros falls out to the floor. Cole crawls up and sees the ref on the floor, so he pulls out some brass knuckles... but Jack kicks them away before he can put them on. Jack beats him back to the corner. OBJ climbs the turnbuckle for some punches, but Cole walks out of the corner and plants Jack's face on the turnbuckle. CC staggers across the ring and grabs his knux, but referee Barros is back in the ring and catches him with them! Cole feigns innocence and tosses them away, blaming some fan for throwing them in the ring. Cole shoves Barros and Barros shoves back, and Jack schoolboys Cole for the three count!!
WINNER in 16:19: OUTBACK JACK
ERIC O’MAC & TYSON KINCAID vs. STANK & CONCRETE TG
Davis Hightower is YOUR referee!
EOM and Kincaid first, the crowd booing heartily as they stride to the ring. There's a pause, then a chorus of voices is heard on the speakers:
"We are the fearless ones!
We are the loaded guns!
With nothing left to lose
We are the reckless youth!"
Pillar's "Reckless Youth" cranks up and CTG strides out proudly, wearing his traditional colors except for a dark purple and red "TR" where his griffon insignia usually appears. He poses and takes a few steps down the ramp, pauses, then waves back to the entrance, where Stank reluctantly stomps out, wearing a dark purple uniform with the same logo stamped on the left side of his outfit. He has a mask in his hands and shakes his head at Crete, who shrugs and finishes his walk to the ring. Kincaid and EOM shake their heads at the unlikely team. The two faces hit the ring as Kincaid and EOM slide out. Crete points out all the fans in the Hurri-crete and Moosey shirts, and waves to Piromu before picking up a mic:
CTG: Fellow citizens, despite our difficulties to attend this event tonight, I want you to be assured that the members of Team Rick are at last UNITED for a common cause! The ruffians of Team Bennett are --
(Stank grabs the mic)
Stank: We gonna kick their asses or what???
The crowd erupts, and as Crete turns to apologize he's blindsided by EOM. The bell rings and we're underway!
EOM puts Crete to the mat and pounds away, not standing til ref Hightower gets to 4. EOM slaps Crete around a couple of times before dragging him to the corner and tagging Kincaid in. Both stomp Crete a few times and taunt Stank enough to get him into the ring. Ref Hightower has to back him up while they stomp him further. Kincaid grabs an arm as Hightower turns around and drags Crete out of the corner and stands him up. Kincaid whips Crete to the ropes and drops him again with a leg lariat. Quick cover only gets a one count. Kincaid whips Crete to a neutral corner and splashes him there, then follows quickly with a couple of shoulderblocks. He hip tosses Crete out of the corner and drops a quick elbow, once again only getting a one count. Kincaid gets Crete off the mat and slings him to the ropes. Crete catches himself and taunts Kincaid, making him charge. LOW BRIDGE! Kincaid sprawls to the floor. Crete turns quickly and pancakes Kincaid with a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA! The two of them work their way to their feet when EOM leaps on Crete with a HURRACARANA that slams him into the ring steps! The two of them start double teaming Crete as Hightower starts the 10-count. Stank drops off the apron and marches over to the other three and mows them ALL over with clotheslines! He slings EOM into the steps before tossing Crete back in the ring (at 6) and (after a punch or two) Kincaid. He steps on EOM on his way back to the apron to add insult to injury.
Crete is on one knee, shaking out the cobwebs when he takes a low dropkick to the face from Kincaid. Cover gets a long 2 count. Kincaid gathers Crete and slams him with Northern lights suplex. Another 2 count! Kincaid hits him with the T-bone suplex. ANOTHER 2-count! Kincaid slaps the mat before gathering Crete again and slamming him into a corner. EOM tagged in, two stomps to Crete and a flying forearm to Stank! Stank GLARES down at EOM, who scrabbles back toward the prone Crete. The big man climbs in and Hightower orders him back. Stank nods, grabs his tag team partner and drags him back to the corner. He quietly climbs out (still holding Crete's arm) tags, and climbs back in. EOM protests that Stank can't do that, but Hightower's letting that one go for now. Stank reaches for EOM, who dodges and tries to topple the big man with a posting enzugiri. Stank just grins as EOM falls on his face. EOM backs up to the ropes and tries a flying forearm. Stank catches him and slams him to the mat. He storms over to Kincaid and asks if he wants some. Kincaid refuses to back down so Stank hip tosses him over the ropes, into the ring and ON TOP OF EOM! He stomps them both, Hightower is begging Stank to just work on the legal man but it takes a four count before Stank honors that request. Kincaid gets up and is visibly upset and starts screaming at Hightower to do his job. Hightower starts arguing with Kincaid as Stank slides EOM out of the ring. He checks on Crete a moment before climbing out to heap more abuse on Eric, but is BLASTED by a steel chair! Hightower's still arguing with Kincaid as EOM slams Stank over and over again, almost toppling the big man. EOM then slings Stank into the barricade. Kincaid finally climbs out of the ring and Hightower hurries to the other side to start a 10-count on Stank and EOM. Stank crawls toward the ring but EOM is stomping all over his back. Crete decides to get involved and tackles Eric with a FLYING SEATED SENTON off the apron to the floor! Stank slides into the ring at 8 and Hightower restarts the count, ordering Crete to let Eric go. Crete swings EOM back into the ring and bounds to the corner, where the ref starts his 10-count over. Stank is getting some of his wind back when Eric hits the ring at 5. Hightower gets out of the way as Eric stumbles to the corner to tag in Kincaid and Stank crawls toward Crete. CTG is rallying the crowd by stomping the steps and slapping the turnbuckle. The crowd rallies louder and just before Kincaid grabs Stank, the big man gets a TAG! And Kincaid eats SUPER HERO CROSS BODY! The two tumble around the mat trading punches before Kincaid rolls around to get Crete in the half-crab but gets kicked back to the corner. Crete gets his footing and charges the corner, knocking EOM off the apron. Crete slings Kincaid to the ropes and flooring him with a drop toehold. EOM climbs up to the top rope to intercept but Stank steps in between and catches him. The Hero and his sidekick exchange knowing looks, then Kincaid eats FINAL JUSTICE! Stank eats the STANK U!
WINNERS in 11:14 Concrete and Stank!
POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND
The S&M version of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” comes over the PA, and the crowd gets to their feet, expecting a potential classic. Poe gets to the top of the ramp, flanked by Selena, and is immediately greeted with a very loud chorus of boos. Poe is visibly surprised by this reaction, considering he grew his legend not far away in Japan. Poe, to his credit, takes it in stride, and Selena helps him into the ring. He does his usual pose, and the crowd boos him unmercifully. Poe again looks very surprised, but hands Selena his duster and towel, and nods to referee Sterling Glaw. The lights go dark and the strains of the guitar from “Pull Me Under” starts, immediately the arena’s roof blows off. Apparently, Davin Moreland is doing the long entrance tonight, complete with red flood lights and the audio break as he appears at the top of the ramp to furious applause, immediately kicking the audio back on just in time for the heavy section. He raises his arms in the air in the classic “Victory” pose to, let’s just say “excessive”, pyro. He does his due diligence with the fans; slapping hands and chatting them up. He’s doing a good job hiding any discomfort from his cracked ribs. Completing the visual, he one hops from the floor to the apron, and then again over the top rope, to a just insane ovation. He nods to Glaw, and imitates a bunny rabbit by hopping around the ring. The crowd joins in his laughter. Poe is not amused. Glaw can’t hear himself think, so he has to wait to make eye contact with the timekeeper before calling for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
But before the two big men can lock up, the OOTron crackles to life and we see LJ Bennett grinning on the screen.
{i]Davin Moreland, you just don’t get it do you? It seems like you have taken it upon yourself to protect those who deserve punishment from getting what they deserve. You see, Mr. Poe did what he did to Bunny because Bunny had it coming. It’s the natural order of things. Bunny is small and weak, therefore he is natural prey for men like Poe. Well, that and Poe is just a nasty sumbitch. Now, I could fine you, I could suspend you, and to be perfectly honest, those things are probably coming in the very near future anyway. But taking away your time in the ring, or a paycheck from your pocket just doesn’t strike me as a good enough punishment. So tonight, because you dared mess with the natural order of things, you will see the…….unpleasant side of nature, because your match tonight is no longer a one fall match. No sir, Mr. Moreland, your match is now two out of three falls. You have fun.[/i]
<the screen fades to black>
POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – 2 out of 3 Falls
Davin and Poe are apparently exchanging trash talk; not that either of them can hear it. Finally they lock up. Poe tries to bully Davin across the ring, but he won’t give an inch. Eventually, it’s Davin who gets the leverage and shoves Poe away. Poe’s got that genuinely surprised look again, while Davin does his Scott Steiner imitation. Poe is livid being shown up like this. In anger, he charges Davin, who ole’s him into the corner. Poe turns around to see Davin doing some Hogan poses in his direction. Visibly frustrated, Poe angrily slaps the turnbuckle a couple times, acting completely out of character. The trash talk starts again, and the two near. Finally, Poe can take no more of this, and attempts a SLAP OF DISRESPECT, but Davin catches his arm and DRILLS Poe between the eyes with a right hand. Glaw tries to warn him about the closed fist but, you know, yeah right. Still holding Poe’s arm, he blasts away with straight right hands all the way to the turnbuckle. Still blasting away, Glaw steps in like a good referee asking for the break. He gives Davin a 4 count before physically pulling him away. Poe is rocked in the corner, but as Glaw steps away, and Davin moves back in, Poe hits a kick to the gut and nimbly moves into a Swinging Neckbreaker, allowing Poe to clear the cobwebs a bit. Poe’s to his feet first, and picks up Davin. Then he picks him WAY up for a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. That ought to feel nice on the ribs. Quick cover gets a weak 2 count. He pulls Davin to his feet and hooks him up for a loooooooooooooong DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX. The crowd oohs and ahs and they relax a little bit. Another cover gets another weak 2 count. He picks Davin up and whips him into the ropes, catches him and hits a SPINNING SPINEBUSTER right into a pinning combination: 1, 2, NO. Davin kicks out, but Poe seems to be in complete control. He pulls Davin up again, picks him up, hits a MILITARY PRESS SLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Now it’s Poe’s turn to pose, and on the outside, Selena is getting some kicking in. Poe finally bails to the floor. He picks Davin up and hits some barrier and apron related offense before tossing Davin into the STEEL STEPS, separating them and splaying them on the floor. Poe smiles and goes over to Davin again, hitting a HUGE POWERBOMB on the floor. He bundles back into the ring, and Glaw starts to count.
Davin is up at 8, and manages to get to the apron. Poe decides to bring him in the hard way, and hooks him up for a Vertical Suplex into the ring, and gets him up…but Davin pulls his knees to his chest, throwing off Poe’s balance, and Davin lands on his feet still being held around the head. Neckbreaker! Both men are down now, and Glaw starts a double count. Poe is actually up first at 7, although Davin isn’t too far behind. Poe runs across the ring to attack, and Davin takes a step to close the distance, hitting a SPINEBUSTER. Davin’s still not 100%, so he takes a couple seconds before going on the attack. He bends over Poe…and is GOOZLED. Poe stands up demonically, and swings Davin’s arm around his head. As Poe goes up for the Choke slam, Davin reverses mid-move and locks on a CROSSFACE! The crowd gets back to their feet. Davin throws out a couple “TAP YOU SON OF A BITCH”es and Poe tries to roll through, but Davin hangs on. Poe is in some BIG TROUBLE. It appears Poe is about to tap, but Selena hops on the apron, which distracts Glaw. With the referee’s attention diverted, Poe manages to nail Davin with a LOW BLOW! Selena jumps off the apron just Poe has Davin in a ROLL-UP! Poe grabs a handful of tights and uses the rope for leverage out of the sight of Glaw as he counts: 1, 2, 3 just as Davin manages to kick out.
THE WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL by (ironically) DARLING FINISH…POE!
Needless to say, Davin is LIVID and gets right in the face of Sterling Glaw, who’s only response is to shrug and make the international sign for “I didn’t see anything”. Davin considers decking Glaw, but thinks better of it and retreats to the corner. The one minute rest period is over, and Glaw calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY…AGAIN!
Davin takes no detours toward Poe, and Poe is ready as he hits a Drop Toe Hold and Davin faceplants into the turnbuckle. Poe moves quickly and hits a BIG RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX and hurriedly goes for a cover: 1, 2, NO! Poe slaps the mat as that was very nearly the end. He gets up to attack again and eats a right hand to the stomach. Davin scrambles to his feet…DDT! He runs the ropes…SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT. He goes to the nearest corner and one-hops the turnbuckle…SHOOTING STAR PRESS! COVER: 1, 2, th..NO! Poe kicked out! Davin is undeterred and pulls up Poe again and tosses him into the ropes, Davin runs the opposite ropes in a criss-cross spot…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER. The crowd goes nuts as the impact bounces Poe from his stomach to his back. Instead of covering, Davin decides to go for the SHARPSHOOTER! It’s in the middle of the ring and Poe is barely conscious. There will be no low blow this time, and Selena, predictably hops the apron, but this time Glaw ignores her. Poe simply can’t stand the torque on his back any longer, is forced to tap out.
THE WINNER OF THE SECOND FALL by SUBMISSION…DAVIN MORELAND
Poe is humiliated that he had to tap out, and tries to argue with Glaw, who gives him a look like “what are you arguing about”? About halfway through the rest period, Selena, on the outside, starts to do housecleaning on the Water Islandian Announce Table. Hmm. Poe is holding his back, and Davin is wincing when he inhales, signaling the ribs aren’t feeling so good. The crowd is up and pumped now as Glaw calls for the bell for the final fall…WE’RE UNDERWAY YET AGAIN!
The trash talk starts again. Davin makes the international sign for tapping out, which enrages Poe; showing an awful lot of raw emotion tonight. Lockup moves into a side headlock for Poe, and Poe just punches Davin in the face. Ow. Davin falls flat on his back, and Poe jumps on him for a cover, and he doesn’t even get a 1 count as Davin escapes and gets away. Poe charges, and Davin steps in…INVERTED ATOMIC DROP. He goes for a Really Good Diamond Cutter, but Poe just does shove him off. Poe takes advantage and hits a LUNGBLOWER. That’s good for a solid 2 count. Poe goes to pick Davin up, but Davin is playing possum and he tosses him over the top rope with a BIIIIIGGGG BACK BODY DROP! Selena wasn’t paying attention and couldn’t get out of the way of a falling Poe, likely powdering her out for the rest of the night. After a short recovery time, Davin heads out to the floor for some clubberin’. Instead, a woozy Poe gains a moment of clarity and SPEARS him INTO THE STEEL POST! If not for Physics, he would have been THROUGH the Steel Post. Poe recovers a bit before picking up a piece of the STEEL STEPS, and BLASTS Davin in the head with it…AND AGAIN! Davin is in rough shape, but Poe is having a hard time pulling him into the ring. Finally, as Davin is almost upright, he finds a reserve and pulls on the hand that was pulling him up, and delivers a STIFF KICK to Poe’s shoulder, and it’s probably a separated shoulder now. The Steel Steps beating has left Davin bleeding from 3 or 4 points on his head, and he’s only upright because he’s leaning against the ring. Poe turns around and charges again, and gets ole’d into the STEEL POST. Davin summons one last reserve of strength and drags Poe to the Water Islandian Announce Table, and puts him on top. Davin goes up as well. On “spaghetti legs”, Davin pulls Poe nearly to a standing position, and Davin turns his back to him…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE WATER ISLANDIAN ANNOUNCE TABLE! Poe is DEAD! Davin is DEAD! Glaw is SCARED, and he runs out to make sure the two are still breathing. He’s unable to confirm that, and immediately calls for the bell.
THE DECISION IN THIS FALL IS A NO CONTEST STOPPAGE.
The paramedics are summoned immediately to ringside, and Poe, Davin and Selena all do the stretcher job. Davin is the last stretcher up the ramp, and as they near the top, he makes the Run DLP Hand/Gang Sign (the ASL letters for D, L and P), and the crowd batshits themselves; even though it was a no contest.
YOUR DECISION in 32:26 is a 1-1 DRAW!
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. JUSTIN SANE – DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title Match
Moosehead Jack is announced and he comes to the ring first with the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Title belt strapped around his waist. Moose drops the title at the announce table and rolls into the ring and slumps into the corner and waits for Justin Sane. Sane comes out from the back and pauses at the top of the ramp, then gives the universal “just wait a damn minute!” sign, then steps behind the curtain and comes out with a large cart, LOADED with plunder! Sane strains to pull the massive load, and heads down the ramp with it. Well naturally the cart gains momentum all its own and picks up speed down the ramp, causing Sane to scream in terror and run to the ring. Sane slides into the ring just before he would have been crushed by the cart, which slams into the ring, and tips over. Sane gets to his feet, dusts himself off, looks pretty proud of himself, then turns around, only to come face to face with Moosehead Jack. Moose glares at Sane for a moment, then head butts him right between the eyes sending Sane to the mat. Moose pulls Sane to his feet and hammers him with rights and lefts to the face, then sends him to the ropes, and catches him with a high back body drop that sends him over the top rope, crashing into the wreckage of plunder on the tipped cart on the floor below. Sane disappears in the wreckage of the plunder and there is no movement for a moment. Moose looks around and sneers at the crowd when they start the HE IS IN-SANE clap clap clapclapclap chant. Finally after a minute or so of waiting, Sane emerges from the wreckage with a metal bucket on his head, a garbage can lid as a shield, and a lead pipe as his sword. Sane climbs to the top of the pile and strikes a noble pose and yells to the crowd NOW I WILL VANQUISH THE EVIL MOOSE! Sane climbs between the ropes and marches right up to Moose, Moose looks amused, then catches Sane with a knee to the midsection, doubling him over in pain. Moose grabs the pipe from the mat, and swats Sane in the head with it, letting the PING echo through out the arena as lead pipe meets metal bucket. Sane falls to the mat and Moose tears the bucket off his head and smashes him in the face with it, but decides not to go for the cover. Moose pulls Sane to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him for a side slam, but Sane reverses it into a head scissors take over. Moose gets to his feet and Sane catches him with a drop kick that sends Moose over the top rope to the apron. Moose is getting his bearings facing the pile of plunder when Sane gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and catches Moose by the head and BULLDOGS him into the pile o’plunder! The crowd erupts into a HOLY SHIT! chant! Sane gets to his feet first and rummages through the pile, throwing everything he can get his hands on at Moose, pelting him with a toaster, a cookie sheet, Stop Sign, a mallard duck, the kitchen sink, a fender for a ’49 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon, and finally an iParrot. The iParrot catches Moose on the forehead opening a gash that only seems to piss Moose off. Moose grabs a length of logging chain and starts chasing Sane around the ring swinging the chain wildly over his head. The crowd erupts into a HUSS! HUSS! HUSS! Chant, and finally Moose tosses the chain, which wraps around Sane’s legs tripping him up and sending him to the floor. Moose pulls the chain in, and reels him in like he is a fish stuck on a hook. Moose tosses the chain over the ring post and pulls until Sane is hanging upside down. Once the chain is hooked to the ring side barricade, Moose is free to wander over to the pile o’plunder, he rummages around for a moment, and pulls out a box. Moose gets an odd look on his face and opens it up, then snaps it shut after a few words fall out of it. Digging around a little more, he finds Ayaka’s old bat. Moose walks back to Sane and is about to use him as a piñata, when Sane shows he has a few tricks up his sleeve! He blows a handful SPARKLY GLITTER into Moose’s face! NOT SPARKLY GLITTER!! Oh, wait. Moose recoils a bit, then realizes that sparkly glitter will not hurt you, it is just REALLY annoying to get off you. Moose snarls and swings for the fences, but Sane frees himself and the bat crashes into the steel ring post, hurting Moose’s hands. Sane slides into the ring as Moose gives chase right behind him. Sane runs to the ropes and rebounds charging at Moose. Sane ducks a clothesline, then rebounds off the opposite ropes and tries a running clothesline of his own, Moose catches his arm, twists it, HEARTPUNCH! Sane drops to his knees gasping for breath. Moose reaches down and grabs the garbage can lid and SLAMS it across Sane’s head sending him to the mat. Moose leaves the ring and comes back with a barbed wire wrapped chair and takes aim at Sane’s head, but Sane fights him off with shots to the gut. Moose stops him by raking the eyes, then pulls Sane up and sends him to the corner, Justin scales the ropes, and tries a cross body block, but Moose is ready with the chair and BLASTS Sane in mid air! Justin could be dead. Moose pulls Sane’s carcass to the middle of the ring and locks him in the ji-endo, it takes the referee about two seconds to call for the bell, ending the match.
WINNER in 10:05 and STILL OOWF DDT IRON MAN HEAVY METAL CHAMPION – Moosehead Jack
<We cut to the back where SFJ27 is with Phantos and Lucios>
SFJ27: Phantos, Lucios, you are defending your Camponas de Trios titles….
Lucios: championships
SFJ27: Err, right. Well tonight you are defending those……championships…..but it seems that you are down a partner since Davin Moreland just waged a bloody war against Poe. What are you going to do?
Phantos: Well, it’s very simple really, when we won these championships we won them for Run DLP. And what that means is any member of Run DLP is allowed to step in and team with us.
Lucios: So allow me to introduce our partner for the evening………Alexis Darling.
<Alexis walks out and joins Phantos and Lucios>
SFJ13: Wow, Alexis! This is quite a step up for you, are you ready for this challenge?
Alexis: Don’t let the looks fool you, I have been trained by, and with the best in the world. I can more than hold my own in that ring……after all, I AM a Darling. BOOYAH BITCH!
<Phantos, Lucios and Alexis walk off>
PHANTOS, LUCIOS & ALEXIS DARLING vs. THE WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM & ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Championship Match
The strains of Van Halen course throughout the arena, as “Right Now” is heard from everyone in the arena. Attitude Adjuster and the World’s Gayest Fag Team (F. Fonzworth MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore) make their respective way down the ramp and into the ring much to the displeasure and derision of the crowd. Davis Hightower just stands back trying not to laugh and AA and the WGFT raise their arms victoriously to the excessive boos from the crowd. Finally Run DMC’s “Walk This Way” fires up and the crowd jumps to their feet cheering their collective asses off as Phantos, Lucios and…Alexis Darling (?!??!) make their way down to the ramp slapping hands with and playing to the crowd, well, Phantos and Lucios are. Alexis looks…is that nervous? The three climb into the ring and raise their Campeonas De Trios belts high above their heads, to cheers. Hightower takes them and raises them into the air himself before handing them over to the timekeeper. This match is for the Campeonas De Trios Championship. Hightower calls for the bell, and WE’RE UNDERWAY!
After some conversation, it looks like it will be the two big men to start, as Lucios and FFM meet in the middle of the ring. They look to lock up, but FFM drills Lucios in the gut with a stiff kick. He follows that up with a big European Uppercut, which staggers Lucios. He goes behind Lucios and hits a Neck breaker. Quick cover for a one count. FFM pull Lucios up and lays into him with more typical big man office, culminating in several shoulder tackles against the turnbuckle. He looks to pull the weakened Lucios to the top, looking for the Greetings From Pacific Heights; but Lucios is able to fight him of and hit a BIG SUPERPLEX from the top. FFM is in rough shape, but so is Lucios, after a few tense seconds, they both tag out, and AA and Phantos are your new two legal wrestlers.
Phantos charges while AA waits, and AA looks like he’s going to counter; but Phantos out-thinks him and snaps off an AWESOME Head Scissors Takeover, and that gets a roar from the crowd. Phantos looks to bump up the RPMs and hits a Springboard Moonsault. Not satisfied, he hits a Standing Shooting Star Press! Cover: 1, 2, NO! The count is broken when AA reaches Phantos’ face and locks on THE CLAW! AA’s black-gloved right hand allows him to get to his feet, while Phantos is powerless to do anything about it. AA hits a couple of fat guy kicks before tossing Phantos into the corner. FAT GUY SPLASH! AND AGAIN! AA takes a second to catch his breath, and he has time because Phantos is NOT looking good. He casually walks over to the corner and wraps an arm around Phantos’ head…ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Quickly into the cover: 1, 2…and Alexis Darling manages to break it up. AA is displeased and locks on THE CLAW. Alexis is in a bad way as Hightower tries to tell AA that she’s not legal. He responds “She looks over 18 to me” and keeps THE CLAW on. Finally, a not-quite-100% Lucios hits AA with a FLYING BURRITO, breaking the hold. This draws FFM and Ryan Hardcore into the ring, and we have ourselves a PIER SIX BRAWL!
Surprisingly, Hightower demonstrates some excellent referee skills and manages to get everyone separated. Finally restoring order, Phantos tags out to Alexis Darling, and AA tags out to Ryan Hardcore. Hightower acknowledges the tag, and the two near each other. Hardcore starts to make some crotch-grabbing lewd gestures to his former conquest, and Alexis fires back with a gesture of her own, telling Hardcore he’s Number One. Enough happy-crappy for Hardcore and he looks for a lockup, but Alexis uses her quickness and hits a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX, felling Hardcore. Alexis just smiles as Hardcore gives her a really pissed off look as he gets to his feet. Hardcore looks for another lockup, but Alexis catches his arm and hits an Arm Wringer-Short-Arm Clothesline Combo, and moving quickly, locks on THE DARLING CLUTCH! They’re in the middle of the ring and Hardcore is in BIG TROUBLE! Phantos and Lucios are on heightened alert expecting AA and FFM to break it up at any second. Hardcore is FADING. Finally, FFM has seen enough and goes to break it up, but Phantos and Lucios manage to cut him off. AA joins the fray and we’ve got PIER FOUR action, and Hightower tries his best to break it up. In the confusion, AA is able to lock on THE CLAW on Alexis, while helping to break the hold. Phantos catches him, and P&L beat him down. With Hightower trying to break that up, that allows Hardcore and FFM to go 2 on 1 with Alexis. MacCappington easily picks Alexis up and brings her to the top rope…GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! He goes over to jump in the other fight, and a weakened Ryan Hardcore is able to get to his feet and pull a nearly unconscious Alexis to her feet. MONEY SHOT! FFM and AA mysteriously back away from the fight, and Hightower turns around and sees a cover: 1, 2, 3! NEW CHAMPS!
WINNERS in 19:26 by PINFALL and NEW CAMPEONAS DE TRIOS CHAMPIONS…THE TEAM OF ATTITUDE ADJUSTER and THE WORLD’S GREATEST FAG TEAM!
Post-match, the three look like they want to do a beat down, but just as it’s about to start, Stank, Outback Jack, The Midnight Sons, Concrete TG and THE Amnesiac (and Monkh for good measure) appear at the top of the ramp and make their way down. The new champs decide it’s boogie-time and they high-tail it through the crowd.
FIREWOMAN vs. THE DEAD – OOWF Onslaught Championship Inferno Match
The gas tubes have been laid around the ring, that will keep a four foot wall of flames around the ring for the duration of the match. The Dead is announced and he makes his way to the ring first, passing right by the flames and barely giving them a second glance. Dead rolls into the ring and waits in the corner. The OOWF Onslaught champion Firewoman is announced and she comes to the top of the ramp flanked by the Maori Flame Team and Lucky. One of the dancers hands Fire a long stick with a flame on the end, and Fire puts it out by swallowing the flame. She gives a sly grin towards Dead, who looks completely unaffected by the display. Fire and Lucky make their way to the ring, Fire stops and hands the official the title and slides under the bottom rope. As soon as Fire is in the ring, before she can even get to her feet Dead charges across the ring and catches her with a boot to the mouth, then follows that with vicious kicks to the back of the head to keep her on the mat. Dead drops a leg across the back of Fire’s head, then drags her to the bottom rope and chokes her. The referee is only there to check and see if someone is on fire, not force breaks or count pins or any of that other stuff. Dead pulls Fire to her feet and hits a trio of German suplexes. Fire is dazed on the mat, Dead lets her get to her feet, then charges across the ring and nearly decapitates her with a clothesline. Dead rolls Fire out of the ring to the floor and follows, dragging Fire by the arm toward the flames with a maniacal look in his eyes. Dead is just about to put her arm in the fire when Lucky distracts Dead long enough for Fire to hit a low blow that sends Dead to his knees. Fire gets to her feet and reaches under the ring and grabs a chair and BLASTS Dead across the face with it. Fire rummages a little more and finds a ladder and leans it on the apron and over the bottom rope. Fire climbs onto the apron and waits, as Dead staggers to his feet, Fire springs over the top rope and lands on the ladder, sending it up and crashing into Dead’s face. Dead turns and staggers right toward the flames, stopping himself just before he would have walked into them. Fire leaves the ring and catches Dead as he turns away from the fire and tries to whip him into the flames, but Dead leaps over the flames, and the barricade, and crashes into the second row of seats, sending OOWF fans scattering. Fire heads up the ramp and hops the rail and makes her way through the crowd to Dead, she grabs him and tries to send him face first into a chair, but Dead blocks the shot and grabs Fire and hits a release belly to belly suplex that sends Fire into the seats. Dead pursues Fire through the people, grabbing a chair and slamming it down on Fire’s wrist as she uses another chair to push herself to her feet. Dead grabs Fire and throws her over the railing back onto the ramp. Fire gets to her feet and staggers up the ramp trying to clear the cobwebs. Dead grabs a chair and pursues, just before Dead can get to her, Fire clears her head and grabs one of the flaming batons held by the Maori Dancer. Fire puts on an impressive display twirling the flaming baton, backing Dead back down the ramp. She jabs it at Dead’s head a couple of times, but he avoids the shots. Dead has been backed all the way down the ramp and is pinned against the announce table, Fire closes in with the flaming torch, and takes a swing at Dead, who, at the same time, grabs a bottle off the table and slams it into the side of Fire’s head. The flame BARELY misses Dead’s face, but he falls to the floor anyway, Fire goes down in a heap and her hair, which has been wisely pulled back into a pony tail, catches fire on the end! The referee turns to check on Dead first, and doesn’t see Lucky furiously stomping out the end of her hair. The referee gets up to check on Fire and smells burnt hair, Lucky quickly acts like he is putting HIS hair out explaining that he got to close to the flames. Evidently the referee buys that. Fire slowly gets to her feet and wipes the blood from the side of head, Dead pulls her to her feet and tries a suplex, but Fire slips out of it and lands on her feet behind Dead, then spins on the mat and takes Dead’s feet from beneath him sending him to the floor as well. Fire motions to Lucky, who hands her a bottle of 198 Proof Evercelar! Fire takes a deep swig and waits for Dead to get to his feet, he does and she flicks her bic and blows, sending a cloud of flames at Dead, Dead tries to drop to the floor and spin away, but the fire catches him on the upper arm and shoulder, burning his skin. The referee has seen enough and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 15:58 and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Firewoman!
Firewoman grabs her title and falls to her knees outside the ring. Lucky runs over and helps her to her feet and they celebrate. While they are celebrating they don’t notice that Dead is already back on his feet and has something in his hands. He grins an evil grin and unleashes a fireball right toward Fire, before she can react, Lucky shoves her aside and takes the fireball right to the face! Lucky falls to the floor writhing in pain as EMT’s rush to ringside. Fire gets a murderous look in her eyes and comes after a laughing Dead, but she is stopped by security. Just then the OOTron crackles to life and we see LJ Bennett:
Awwwwww poor Fire. That is a damn shame about Lucky there. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t see what he did, he cost Dead the title, he got what he deserved! Now, onto you. Fire, I give you SOME credit, you took this match, and despite Lucky’s interference, you still won. Good for you, that’s good. Next week, however, you will be putting that title on the line against Dead in HIS match – a Casket Match. You have fun with that.
With Fire’s eyes transfixed on the screen and rage burning in her mind, she doesn’t see Dead next to her and he BLINDSIDES her with a CLOSE THE CASKET!!! Fire hits the floor out cold. Dead stands over her for a moment staring at her, but before he can do any more damage, members of Team Rick make their way to the ring to stop a beat down. Dead slithers through the crowd and escapes to the back.
IHOP vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
The Midnight Sons come to the ring first, accompanied by Wally B King. Wally’s purpose is immediately clear as he stands in the corner with the Sons, talking and gesturing with his cane, trying to keep them under control while the champions make their entrance. And what an entrance it is, as IHOP, accompanied by the lovely and talented Miss Dorothy Mantooth, stroll to the ring, stopping to show their belts to every ramp side fan. As “We are the Champions” cycles through for the 18th time IHOP reaches the ring. They hand the belts to referee Angelo Barros, who displays them to the crowd for a brief moment before IHOP grabs them back and leaves the ring. They give the belts to Miss Mantooth. who reacts by screaming. SYB and Skurge turn around and Miss Mantooth dives out of the way as Spin Hansen breaking free of Wally, sprints across the ring and dives over the ropes with a no-hands plancha that drives him and IHOP through the ringside barrier. D.H. Magnusson, taking the longer way around, scrapes SYB out of the wreckage, scoops him up, and rams his spine into the ring post. He ignores Barros’ warnings, but seems to hear Wally telling him they can’t win the belts on the floor and stuffs SYB into the ring. Barros sees two men in the ring and calls for the bell.
DHM shoves SYB into the corner and starts laying into him with lefts & rights. SYB falls, so DHM props him back up and goes back to punching. Barros administers a count, then tries to back DHM off, but gets shoved out of the way. Barros decides to let it ride as DHM hurls SYB across the ring with an Irish whip. SYB hits the corner hard and goes up and over the turnbuckles, falling to the floor. DHM is right behind him. DHM stands SYB against the ring post and swings, but SYB moves/falls out of the way and DHM punches steel. SYB rolls to his feet and, since Barros is busy getting Spin & Skurge separated, hits a reverse Jersey Turnpike. He follows up by driving DHM’s face into the ring post. Skurge sees SYB get back in the ring, and breaks with Spin, going to his corner and making an exagerated tag for Barros’ benefit. Skurge sprints across the ring and delivers a field-goal kick to DHM’s face as he gets in the ring. Skurge follows up with a series of kicks and drives an elbow into DHM’s throat. He covers, but DHM kicks out at two. Skurge gets up just in time to be turned inside out by a clothesline from Spin. Barros forces Spin back to his corner, which allows SYB to sneak into the ring for a few cheap shots. Skurge clears the cobwebs, and IHOP drag DHM to their corner. SYB delivers another Jersey Turnpike, then steps out of the ring so he can be officially tagged in. IHOP lift DHM onto the top turnbuckle, and SYB heads to the Son’s corner. He taunts Spin, who tries to enter the ring but is blocked by Barros. SYB turns and sprints toward the IHOP corner, and Skurge elevates him for the Rise and Shine. SYB lands on DHM’s shoulders – and DHM blocks the move, leaping off the turnbuckles and power bombing SYB through Skurge! DHM crawls to his corner and makes the tag. Spin storms into the ring and. scrapes up Skurge, tosses him to the ropes and plants him with a spine buster. He covers, but SYB manages to break it up with a kick to the head. Spin gets to his feet and snarls. He grabs SYB and lifts him for the Spinal Justice, but turns and drops him out of the ring! SYB hits the floor hard and isn’t moving. Skurge, meanwhile, catches Spin from behind with a low blow. He tries to set up a reverse DDT, but DHM snaps, shoves past Barros, and levels him with a clothesline from behind. The Sons stomp Skurge into the mat, then Spin picks him up as DHM climbs the ropes. Spike Pile driver! Spin mounts Skurge and starts driving punches into his face as DHM goes out after SYB. Barros attempts to stop the beating, but soon realizes it’s futile and calls for the bell.
WINNERS by Disqualification, and still OOWF World Tag Team Champions, in 12:43, IHOP.
After the match: The Sons continue to destroy IHOP, fending off security and officials, until Stank, Outback Jack Moosehead Jack and L.D. Williams hit the ring. Instead of enlarging the brawl, Stank and OBJ pull the Sons off while LD and Moose get IHOP to the back.