[Demko]

****It's funny, because in the three pictures, the hair gets shorter and the stubble turns slowly into a beard! :-)

[Batman]

Da Commish:

Hey, everybody! Are you all as pumped as I am to find out about the *New* AWA's latest draft picks?! Well, I have two names RIGHT HERE!... in this envelope. Rips open envelope.

Wow! Oh, wow. I'm very proud to announce that the *New* AWA has drafted with our fourth pick one of the most important, pivotal figures in the history of wrestling... Hell, in the history of sports, in the history of television, in the history of--I don't know--modern culture.


"Pomp and Circumstance" begins to play.

And, no, despite any confusion the music may cause, I'm not talking about Randy Savage. Despite his incredible influence, this man has become something of a footnote in history and has been largely forgotten. But now he's back, and I'm sure that he will be very happy to remind us all just how great he is.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...the Human Orchid, himself!...

...GORGEOUS GEORGE!!!



....


"Pomp and Circumstance" trails off, but no-one emerges...


What the hell?! Where?... Go FIND him!



"Gorgeous" George Wagner:

It's funny. "Pomp and Circumstance"--my theme, by the way--has been played. My entourage stands ready to roll out the red carpet and to spread flowers out before my feet. My man Jeffries stands ready with the atomizer of Chanel #10 to protect my delicate sensibilities from any untoward odors, such as--I have no doubt--emanate from that troglodyte lumberjack who is apparently in charge around here. And yet... here I remain.

Why--you may ask--do I remain backstage in my comfortable dressing room, rather than emerging to address you all as scheduled?

The answer is very simple--you are all peasants. Not only are you beneath my contempt, but beneath even my notice.

Yesterday, a sideshow freak--whose only claim to fame is a pituitary disorder--became enraged that he had not been drafted in the first round. I have now been drafted a round later yet, but am I angry? Of course not. You peasants' estimation of my value proves nothing about me, but only about you. Specifically, your stupidity and ignorance. Why should I be angry to have demonstrated again something I've long known?

There has been a lot of big talk going around about "the best wrestler in the world." I am the best wrestler in the world. I invented the phrase. At "the Big Bang" you will all have the opportunity to see me prove it. Until then, I shall withhold from you the blinding radiance of my presence.

That's all.




Foley:
Well... That was different. Moving right along, the *New* AWA's fifth draft pick is a young man with a devastating arsenal of strikes and holds, a self-styled modern-day warrior, and a man with a never-changing expression that always makes me want to offer him some Ex-Lax! I give to you the Warrior, LOW-KI!!



Low-Ki:
Who in the hell was that guy?


Foley:
Uh, that was Gorgeous George. Uh, George Wagner. He was the inspiration for all of the wrestlers who bleach their hair and act outrageous to aggravate the fans.


Low-Ki:
That guy inspired all that? Talking big, but then acting like a pansy and hiding behind the ref once the bell rings? Then he sucks! All of that is crap.

I want to face off with fellow warriors in a contest of supremacy with respect and honor. But failing that, if sissies like that guy want to run their mouth, then I will be happy to get in the ring with them just for the opportunity to kick it shut!

So, can you make that match Commissioner?


Foley:
Ah... No. The powers and duties of the Commissioner are mostly confined to finding entertaining ways to impart the information on sheets of paper that I am given.

Besides, just because he annoys you, are you sure that you want a match with the good Mr. Wagner? There are plenty of "Warriors" for you to contend with... RIGHT HERE!


Low-Ki: Are you challenging me?


Foley: That's not really the question, is it Brandon? The question is: Who are you going to challenge? 'Cause I'm a guy who makes young guys who challenge me famous. It's a specialty of mine. But then, I'm also a guy who makes those young guys wish they'd never heard of me....

[Batman]

***OOC: Yes, I know Foley's clothes change. Suspend some disbelief, people.

***OOC: Holy fuck, Gorgeous George is fun to write!

[Mr. Dashbee]

****This stuff is awesome Serge, great job.

I originally had visions of drafting Foley to make Christopher Daniels famous. Obviously that didn't happen (I've found replacements, as you can see in the OSR page!...cheap pop). If you want the details of what I had planned, let me know and I'll PM it to you. I won't be upset when you don't use it!

The Gorgeous George dialogue was great. Bonus EXALT for the "Best Wrestler in the World" reference.

And Low-Ki's? I just hope everyone here has heard the man talk, because with his deep voice and slow delivery, that dialogue really fits.

Foley vs. Low-Ki? Excellent choice!

[Batman]

****Thanks a lot, man.

I'm really enjoying this, as you can probably tell....

I'm curious about your Foley vs Danielson plans, sure.

It's funny, though. I don't actually have any plans myself. Foley v Low-Ki is certainly not set in stone right now. My strategy (such as it is) is just to draft the strongest characters I can, and then throw them together and see what they do. Basically building tension between as many different guys as possible, but hold off on pulling the trigger officially on specific feuds and matches until I have a better idea what my whole roster looks like.

[Mr. Dashbee]

****That's a good strategy, especially with your roster. I like it. Not what I'm doing, but it's working great for the *NEW* AWA...

[Batman]

Foley:

Hey, boys and girls! It's that time once again--time to find out about the latest two draft picks for the *New*--new, new, new--AWA.

First!--we have a man who was already a judo champion in his teens....

A man who brought the Superkick, the Enzuigiri, and the Sharpshooter to the States....

A man who was a decade ahead of his time....

The one and only...

Gentleman!

Chris!

ADAMS!!




Adams:

Good afternoon, everyone. Remember me? Sure. You remember me... As the man who trained Steve Austin, the fellow who taught Shawn Michaels the Superkick. And why is it that no one remembers Steve Austin as the wrestler who was trained by "Gentleman" Chris Adams? Why is it that no one remembers Shawn Michaels as the man who learned the Superkick from "Gentleman" Chris Adams?

I'll TELL YOU WHY NOT! Because I was, indeed, a decade ahead of my time. At LEAST! ...Much to my detriment. I never faced the level of competition that would have properly showcased my incredible talent. But all of that is going to change. Very soon, you will all remember me... for me.




Thank you, Chris! I'm sure you'll find the level of competition you're looking for... RIGHT HERE!... in the *New* AWA.

Competition that will include our next draft pick!

...A man who had legendary matches with Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and even Muhammad Ali.

The FIRST IWGP Champ!

The MASTER of the Enzuigiri!

The FATHER of the Strong Style!

The ICON of PURORESU!

ANTONIO INOKI!!!!


[Inoki enters from the back of the room and speaks from out in the audience....]


Inoki:

無料で入手できて、自由に利用できますワープロや表計算・プレゼンツールなどを統合したオフィスソフトですと高い相互運用性を備えていますオープンソースという方針で開発・公開しています無料で入手できて、自由に利用できますワープロや算・プレゼンツールなどを統合ですと高い相互運用性を備えていますオープンソースという方針で開発・

ゼンツールなどを統合したオフィスソフトですと高い相互運用性を備えていますオープンソースという方針で開発・公開しています無料で入手できて、自由に利用できますワープロや算・プレゼンツールなどを統合ですと高い相互運用性を備えていますオープンソース

針で開発・公開しています無料で入手できて、自由に利用できますワープロや算・プレゼンツールなどを統合ですと高い相互運用性を備えて



Hot translator chick: The Honorable Mr. Inoki says that wrestling is the king of sports, and...
Adams: Shut the hell up! Who in the hell cares what he was babbling on about? So, Inoki, you're the master of the "enzuigiri," eh? Well, I know a thing or two about that move, myself. Although I've never understood why everyone insists on calling it that. That's just Jap for "kick in the head." Why not just call it a flying head-kick? Or even a "Ghetto Blaster"? At least that's English. "Enzuigiri" sounds like a skin condition.

So, why don't you and I compare notes and see who is really the master of the "enzuigiri"?




Enraged, Inoki charges down the aisle towards the podium that Adams is standing behind. Adams climbs up onto the podium and leaps at Inoki, suicide-dive style.

From there, it's on. A knock-down drag-out brawl. But with martial-arts kicks. So, more like a brawl from a kung-fu movie. They continue to beat the hell out of each other for several minutes until they crash into the camera and the screen goes to static.




Later that day, in a simple press release, the *New* AWA announced that the talented but controversial "Gentleman" Chris Adams (and a draft pick) had been traded for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Hass, the World's Greatest Tag Team.

[Mr. Dashbee]

Jun 28, 2008 4:31:23 GMT -5 Batman said:

[Later that day, in a simple press release, the *New* AWA announced that the talented but controversial "Gentleman" Chris Adams (and a draft pick) had been traded for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Hass, the World's Greatest Tag Team.]

This made the press conference for me...awesome angle with Adams, shot by a trade. It's great, because in today's WWE, it could really happen.

[Batman]

Foley:

Hey, I know we haven't drafted anybody new, but we have two big announcements to make, and I'm really excited about them. Why is that, you ask? Because I... only have to make one of them. Allow me to introduce the brand new Interim Commissioner of the *New* AWA...

Antonio Inoki!!!



Inoki:

無料 Foley で入手で無料きて、自由に利用でき The *New* AWA.



Hot translator chick:

Thank you Mr. Foley, for your kind introduction. The Honorable Commissioner Inoki would like to express his fond desire to join you on the active roster as soon as that may be feasible so that he may test his mettle against you and the other fine wrestlers contracted to the new AWA.



Commissioner Inoki:

The *New* AWA...




Hot translator chick:

Excuse me. The *New* AWA.



Foley:

Thank you, Commissioner. I sincerely hope that you enjoy the job more than I did. And I also look forward to the opportunity to meet you in the ring. I've heard so much about you from friends of mine like Terry Funk who have faced you in the past... You've got me curious. Till then, Sayonara!




Commissioner Inoki:

【アクセスポイント Christopher Adams 経由で the *New* AWA.
家庭 Adams 内のアク Charlie Haas セ Shelton Benjamin スポイント経由で「プレ



Hot translator chick:

It gives us great pleasure to announce that the boorish, crass, possibly-insane Englishman--Mr. Christopher Adams--has been traded away from the new... I mean, the *New* AWA.

In return for Adams and a draft pick we have received Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, the self-styled World's Greatest Tag Team!




Shelton:

Man... me and Charlie, we're really stoked to be here... to be in a promotion that WANTS us... as the cornerstone of their tag division... NOT just as a damn bargaining chip!



Commissioner Inoki:

イステーション・ポータブル」からのリモートプレイができるようになります。ワイヤレスを搭載していないＰＳ３（モデル）でもリモートプレイ接続ができるようになります。
【バックグラウンドダウンロ London ー Kendrick!




Hot translator chick:

We are afraid then that we have some bad news for you. We have just received news that you have been traded again. For the exciting, high-flying duo of LONDON & KENDRICK!




Shelton:

What? Are you messing with me?


The two teams stare each other down. Then London & Kendrick offer them the handshake of "We respect you and we don't really have any reason to fight." After a beat, Shelton and Benjamin simultaneously sucker-punch them, then beat them down for a few minutes and then walk out.



Commissioner Inoki:

【フル Foley サイズキーボード】


Hot translator chick:

No, Commissioner. Mr. Foley certainly was not exaggerating....

[Batman]

In a blockbuster announcement, the President of the *New* AWA announced that a limited number of exhibition matches will be sanctioned leading up to the *New* AWA's first PPV extraveganza, the Big Bang. These exhibitions are to showcase the amazing talents of the *New* AWA roster, but not to resolve any ongoing issues. So the matches have the limitation that they may not involve any two wrestlers with a long-standing grudge or feud, or who have recently issued any challenges or insults toward one another. "Save the grudge matches for the PPV, boys," President Alderman is quoted as saying.

As the #1 draft pick, Eddie Guerrero will be featured in the first exhibition match, with an opponent of his choice (limited by the caveat outlined above.) This special match will be webcast LIVE! later tonight.

[Batman]

For the first exhibition match in the *New* AWA, Eddie Guerrero has chosen as his opponent...

LOW-KI!

Guerrero was quoted as saying, "I admire his passion. Now, I'm gonna test his skill...."

Press "play" below to watch this LIVE, as it happens.

(Or not-so-live afterwards, depending on when you press "play.")



Wow. What an amazing, technical contest. But marred (MARRED, I say!) by a fast count clouding Low-Ki's victory in controversy.

Was it an honest mistake by the official? Or is someone conspiring against the top star in the *New* AWA, Eddie Guerrero? The idealistic Low-Ki couldn't possibly be involved in anything unsportsmanlike.... Could he?

[Batman]

Commissioner Inoki recently sent an emmissary to the home of Paul Wight--known to the wrestling world as the Big Show--and a camera crew to record the proceedings. We have just received the following footage from that meeting:


Hot Translator Chick:

Honorable Mr. Show, The honorable Commissioner Inoki has heard that you are looking for a great challenge by which you may prove your mettle to the world. The honorable Commissioner has recently learned that he will soon be added to the active roster, so he is now free to pursue the initiation of a worthwhile feud with another active wrestler. He has had many classic contests with your father--the honorable Mr. Giant--in the past, and would be honored to extend a challenge to you to renew this timeless rivalry.



Big Show:

Seriously? There are so many problems with that, I don't even know where to begin.... First off, if you must call me Mister, call me Mr. Wight. Or just call me the Big Show, everybody does. But "Mr. Show" just sounds stupid. Second, I'm NOT Andre's son. I NEVER wanted to make that stupid claim, I haven't made that claim in years, and even back when I DID, I didn't realize that anybody actually believed it.

But most importantly...



You SAY that Inoki heard what I said! And YET! He THINKS that I want to fight Andre's old fights? Or that maybe I want to fight ANDRE?! HOW CAN I MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR?!! HOW CAN I MAKE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND?!! I am not INTERESTED in proving that I'm the greatest giant in the history of wrestling. Anybody who doesn't realize that that's perfectly OBVIOUS!... Well, I don't care about their worthless opinion. ALL I'M LOOKING TO PROVE IS THAT I! AM! THE! BEST!!

PERIOD!!

Renewing old feuds of Andre's has no part in that. But I WILL find a way to prove it...

...TO THE WORLD!

[Batman]

Eddie:

Orale! Orale, mi vatos! Viva la Raza!




Hot Translator Chick:

Hooray! Hooray, my... "fellows?" Long live the... um, people!




Eddie:

Sweetie, please don't translate my catchphrases. Just... don't. You're not here to translate for me....



You're here because somebody in one of these envelopes here needs a translator!

My first announcement should be obvious, vatos. President Alderman has decided that the Commissioner won't be handling announcements anymore. Instead, they'll be rotated among the active roster, to give us more opportunity to interact with all you great fans!

Now!... Let's open an envelope! The first draft pick for tonight is... Oh, wow, we're going to be treated to some amazing wrestling. Because the *New* AWA has just drafted...

The Great Sasuke!

Now I know a lot of you might not have heard of him, but take my word for it, that man moves like no-one else I've ever seen!

Come on out, man! What are you waiting for, esse?!



enter...

Sasuke:

...




Eddie:

Come on, esse! Tell the people what's on your mind! If you don't trust your English, we've got a translator right here!




Sasuke:

...




Eddie:

All right. All right. You want to let your actions speak for you, I can respect that. Let's move along....

In the second envelope, we haaaaave...



...



...



Eric.

Bischoff.




Bischoff:

EDDIE! Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.... It's so good to SEE you again! We haven't been on the same show in... AGES! It's been years since you and your pals... deserted me.

But there's no reason we can't let bygones be bygones. We NEED to do that! After all, I'm the brand new... PERMANENT! Commissioner of the *New* AWA. And you're the #1 draft pick--which makes you the #1 star of my show.

Now if it had been up to me, I would have picked... I don't know... Hogan... or Savage... a proven draw that I know can put asses in seats. But the fact is... we're stuck with each other. And I think...

I think you need to play ball.




Eddie:

Hold on, Bischoff! You're not gonna scare me with a lot of big talk. The Commissioner doesn't have any real power, he's just a figurehead! The President makes all the real decisions.




Commissioner Bischoff:

Well, that's where you're wrong, Eddie. It might have been nice if that mental defective Foley hadn't--completely unnecessarily!--told the WHOLE WORLD that the Commissioner's office doesn't have any real authority. But that doesn't really matter. Authority doesn't matter. People think that power is authority, but it isn't. Power comes from deceit... and FORCE!

And believe me, I have an excessive amount of that.

Now, I'm gonna say it again, it's time for you to agree to toe the line, Eddie. After all, the #1 star of the show shouldn't be getting caught by a roll-up from a relative rookie!




Eddie:

It was YOU! YOU paid off that referee!



Commissioner Bischoff:

PROVE it! The point is, if we're going to make this cobbled-together show work, I need you, and you need me. So I'm going to ask you one more time: Will you play ball?





Are you CRAZY?! Have you gone LOCO?! I'm not going to "play ball" with you! I'm going to STRANGLE you!





sigh I knew you were gonna say that....





The Great Sasuke SNEAK ATTACKS Eddie from behind with a steel chair!




Commissioner Bischoff:

I've just got one last announcement to make this evening. In a BLOCKBUSTER trade, I have arranged to bring to the *New* AWA the legendary team formerly known as the "Wild Samoans"! But YOU can call them...

EXCESSIVE FORCE!!!!



The Great Sasuke and Excessive Force proceed to take Eddie apart for several minutes. Fade.

[Batman]

Check out the *New* AWA's new, new, new... LOGO:



No more question mark....

[Byrntrigan]

But Bishoff is in the white area, it MUST BE BLACK FOR HE IS HEEL!

exalt...

[Batman]

****Come on, I put up my best promo yet and I get one feedback post?

I need my egoboos, people!

At the very least tell me what I already know--that "Excessive Force" is the greatest name for a tag team... EVER!

[Batman]

****Wow. I'm totally feeling the hate here....

[Lucky]

****Oh, don't be desperate.

That actually was one of my favorites. I'm not a big fan of this photo essay roleplay thing but I did enjoy Eddie's reaction to Bischoff. I don't know how I feel about that tag name though.

[Batman]

****

Jul 1, 2008 19:27:30 GMT -5 Lucky said:

Oh, don't be desperate.

I know, I know.

[salmonjunkie]

****also not a fan of the tag name

[Batman]

****Pshaw! You're all just jealous you didn't think of it first....

[Lucky]

****I think part of my problem with it is it sounds like a name you thought up and wanted to have a team called... and then just shoved it on a team. They're Wild Samoans. Legends and archetypes. And they sound like some rap group whose CD I bought out of a trunk on Saturday night at the races.

[Batman]

****They're Bischoff's goons, just like they used to be [no name-dropping]'s goons.

He gives them the name 'cause they're on his payroll and he can rename them if he wants, and because he wants to "update them to the 21st century," and because he can work it into his promos like he used to with 3mw, but much more naturally, I think. And it's suggestive of police brutality, which is apropos.

[Mr. Dashbee]

****

Jul 1, 2008 20:09:44 GMT -5 Batman said:

They're Bischoff's goons, just like they used to be [no name-dropping]'s goons.

He gives them the name 'cause they're on his payroll and he can rename them if he wants, and because he wants to "update them to the 21st century," and because he can work it into his promos like he used to with 3mw, but much more naturally, I think. And it's suggestive of police brutality, which is apropos.

I liked the last report, sorry I didn't get a chance to comment. I don't like the name now, but once it gets used in the context you described, that might change...

[Batman]

****He did work it into his promo!

Bisch sez:

Power comes from deceit... and FORCE!

And believe me, I have an excessive amount of that.