[Tommy]

*placeholder*

Just a note, thanks to all the matchwriters this week, Mayhem will be posted ON TIME tonight, 8PM EDT.

Pre-game chat before that, I'm guessing.

[karmic]

Slavedriving SMITE!~

[Tommy]

Jul 9, 2008 15:03:40 GMT -5 karmic said:

Slavedriving SMITE!~

Yeah, saying "please" is slavedriving.

[Tommy]

*Cold Open to a dark arena. Suddenly, the lights come on and Davin Moreland is in the ring, dressed in a suit. He’s alone and HAS A MIC~! Cheers cascade down to the ring.*

DM: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve got some news to report. LJ Bennett is NOT in the building tonight.

*cheers*

DM: Likewise, GM the Rick is not in the building tonight

*grumbles*

DM: Therefore, as the only member of management remaining, it’s up to ME to take charge for the evening…

*big cheers*

Russ: ALL RIGHT!

DM: So sit back, relax, grab an adult beverage or two, you fine folks of Mandalay, Burma…

*cheap pop*

DM: And enjoy the show!

*“Pull Me Under” hits as Davin leaves the ring.*

Russ: Well, how about THAT for a turn of events. No Bennett, no Rick, just good ol’ fashioned RASSLIN’ tonight.

Razz: SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE!

Russ: Seriously? That’s what you come with?

Razz: This show was booked like a month ago, Russ.

*Kayfabe attacks Razz and they bust out a ***** classic. Razz ends up tapping. Kayfabe leaves*

Razz: *cough* Like I said…*cough cough* SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE!

Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME to OOWF Midweek Mayhem, coming to you LIVE (kinda) from MANDALAY, BURMA!

(Lights, Pyro, Music, etc)

Russ: Let’s get right to the ring for our first match…

Eric O'Mac & Tyson Kincaid vs. Cape Town Cannibals (WWE and TNA)[/u]

Eric O'Mac and Tyson Kincaid enter and look ready to beat some ass. WWE and TNA are already in the ring. Hmm, I wonder how this one will turn out? Tyson and Eric storm the ring and immediately take the fight to the Cannibals. Both WWE and TNA are reeling as the referee tries to restore some semblance of order. Both Eric and Tyson aren't letting up at all, but the referee can't stop the match because it hasn't technically started yet. WWE and TNA are being taken apart in opposite corners. Finally, the referee is able to break it up and we've got the opening bell.

Kincaid starts of against an already reeling WWE. Kincaid throws haymaker after haymaker, every one finding its mark squarely on the jaw of WWE. WWE is stumbling backwards and somehow manages to fall towards his own corner and into TNA, who is now the legal man. TNA charges directly at Kincaid, but Kincaid easily sidesteps and catches TNA with a bulldog. Kincaid tags in Eric and they both begin to beat down TNA. Kincaid gets in a few extra shots and then makes his way to his corner. Eric begins to work over TNA, and drops him with a nice suplex. Eric kicks at TNA, taunting him and telling him to get to his feet. TNA struggles but finally does get back up...and immediately gets dropped again with a DDT. Instead of going for a cover, Eric picks up TNA and drags him to his corner. Eric grabs TNA's arm and uses it to tag in WWE. Eric immediately turns his back and walks back into his own corner casually. He tags in Kincaid just as WWE is making a run for him. Kincaid cuts him off with a beautiful dropkick that floors WWE. Kincaid picks him up and whips him into the ropes and catches him with a Thesz press! Kincaid rains down right and left hands on a defenseless WWE. Finally the beating stops as Kincaid gets up and tags Eric back in. Eric immediately climbs to the top rope and launches himself through the air. He connects with the Mac Attack! But, instead of going for the cover, Eric picks WWE back up. He's got him hooked for the Rock Bottom! Before he delivers it, Eric points at TNA. TNA tries to jump into the ring, but he is pulled off the apron by a sneaky Tyson Kincaid. Eric drops WWE with the Rock Bottom and mercifully goes for the cover. One. Two. Three.

WINNERS in 4:02 - Eric O'Mac and Tyson Kincaid

After the match, Kincaid and Eric continue the beatdown of TNA and WWE until they get bored and finally head backstage.

Russ: Wow, it seems like Revolution XXX is really trying to make a statement here in the OOWF, especially that Eric O’Mac and Tyson Kincaid

Razz: Are they gay those two?

Russ: They have DENIED those rumors over and over again, Razz.

Razz: Still, the secluded islands…the midgets…

Russ: I agree it looks strange, but I’m willing to take their word for it.

Razz: Whatever. Let’s go down to the next match…

BLITZ vs. MARK VANDER[/u]

Vander is in the ring waiting for his opponent. Blitz comes out, accompanied by The Dead. The two men bump knuckles and Blitz flips over the top rope into the ring. Vander charges across the ring and tries a sneak attack clothesline, but Blitz ducks, and catches him with a hurricarana on the rebound that sends Vander to the mat. Blitz waits for Vander to get to his feet, and sweeps his legs from beneath him. Blitz gets a running start and springs off the bottom rope and lands a helicopter leg drop. Blitz covers, but Vander kicks out at two. Both men get to their feet and Blitz charges and Vander catches him with a side slam and plants him on the mat. Vander covers, but Blitz rolls his shoulder at one. Vander pulls Blitz up and sends him into the corner, and follows him in with a running clothesline, he grabs Blitz and bulldogs him out of the corner. Vander gets to his feet and motions for the Clothesline From Hell and waits for Blitz to get to his feet. Blitz struggles up and Vander is about to charge across the ring, when Dead reaches in and grabs his leg. Vander turns to grab Dead, and Blitz charges across the ring and catches him with an enziguri to the back of the head that sends him out of the ring.

Blitz pulls the referee aside and complains about Vander pulling his hair, while on the outside, Dead waits for Vander to get to his feet, then POPS him with the Close the Casket! Vander is OUT! Dead rolls him back under the bottom rope and Blitz shoves the referee aside and lands several stiff kicks to Vander’s chest, then pulls him to his feet and plants him with a Blitz Driver. Blitz climbs to the top rope, and tries a moonsault, but Vander moves out of the way and Blitz crashes and burns. Vander struggles to his feet first and pulls Blitz to his feet and grabs him by the throat and PLANTS him with a choke slam! Vander covers, but Blitz kicks out just before the three count. Vander gets to his feet and waits for Blitz to get up and charges and tries for a big boot to the face, but he misses and Blitz catches him with a low blow that the referee didn’t see because he was distracted by Dead. Vander writhes in pain on the mat, Blitz pulls him to the corner and plants him with a Tornado DDT. Blitz rolls Vander over and locks him in the cattle mutilation! Vander struggles, and just BARELY makes it to the ropes. Blitz pulls Vander to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a spinning heel kick to the jaw, then steps out on the apron and springs to the top, and does a SSP off the rope, slamming into Vander’s chest! Blitz covers and gets the one, two, three!

WINNER in 5:49 - Blitz

Russ: THOSE BENNETT BOYS WILL STOOP TO ANY LEVEL!

Ruzz: You gotta admit it’s effective, Russ.

Russ: IT’S WRONG! IT’S JUST DAMN WRONG!

Ruzz: It’s reality in the OOWF today, Russ. You’ve got to deal with it.

Russ: I will NOT accept cheating and taking shortcuts to win.

Ruzz: What about when Rick’s team does it?

Russ: THAT is not the point. Let’s go to the next match.

[Tommy]

Chris Cole vs. Knife

Chris Cole and The Knife circle the ring, staring at each other. The lock up, and Knife reverses to a back grapple. Cole reverses that grapple and performs a snapmare onto Knife. Cole looks to lock in a headlock, but Knife headbutts Cole and sweeps his legs across Cole's, tripping him up. Both men get up and Cole runs right into an arm drag by Knife. Knife looks to take advantage, but Cole follows up with an arm drag of his own, and locks in an armbar. Knife elbows Cole with his free arm, reverse grapples, and hits a beautiful German Suplex! The two competitors stand off as the crowd goes wild for the quick sequence action.

They circle back up, with Cole dominating this grapple, shoving Knife into the corner, and hitting his with a hard, knife edge chop. The crowd shouts WOOO! as Cole delivers another, and then a third. The referee wants Cole to back up, and as Cole turns his attention to the ref, Knife looks in his pocket...is he pulling out a knife? The answer is yes, but Cole sees it and kicks it out of his hand! No matter, Knife delivers a quick snap suplex to Cole and gets the cover, 1, 2, and a kick out by Cole.

Cole is on the defensive, as Knife starts delivering heavy blows with his forearms. Knife takes Cole and hits a power slam! As the crowd watches in joy, Knife then takes Cole's head and slams it into the mat, as Cole shouts out in agony. Knife gets Cole up and delivers a Northern Lights suplex with the bridge, as the referee counts, 1, 2, and another kickout by Chris Cole.

Knife is clearly getting cocky, as he drops several knees onto Cole's sternum. It looks like Knife is going to the top rope, going to hit his Legdrop “From The Heavens”! He flies...NOBODY HOME! Cole slipped out of the way at the last possible second, and now Cole is getting his second wind. He gets Knife up and delivers a snap suplex of his own! He again helps Knife up, only to knock him down with a hard hitting clothesline. Knife struggles to get to his feet, and when he does, Cole whips him into the ropes and hits a HUGE SPINEBUSTER! Cole goes for the cover, 1, 2, and NO! Knife kicked out! Cole starts to argue with the referee over the count, as Knife gets to his feet. He catches Cole off-guard with a right hook that stuns him and hits Cole with a clothesline! Knife goes to the top rope as Cole looks a bit stunned getting to his feet...Knife GOES FOR A TOP ROPE HURRICARANA! But as Knife wraps his legs around Cole's head, Cole catches him, and has him in the PERFECT position for the HEADLINER! KNIFE IS DEAD, as the crowd counts with the referee, 1.........2...........AND 3! Coles wins a tough matchup!

Winner via pinfall in 9:32, CHRIS COLE!

Russ: I’m SHOCKED!

Razz: Why is that?

Russ: BECAUSE GO FUCK YOURSELF! THAT’S WHY!

Razz: *applauds* Well done, sir. Next match please…

Justin Sane vs. The Dead

We’re going to get this one started right away as “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins begins and The Dead makes his way right down to the ring with Blitz for some reason as they ignore the boos and heckles coming from this crowd in Burma. Dead pushes Angelo Barros out of the way as he stalks around the ring. He’s standing in the center of the ring as “The King of Rock and Roll” by Danielle Lioneye begins to play and Justin Sane slowly makes his way out from the back with Carl from Fresno at his side. Justin keeps looking over his shoulder and he’s loudly stating to Carl that he swears he saw Ladder waiting for him. Carl calms him down as they get to the ring; a little fist-bump between the members of Run DEA and Justin is ready for action as he really starts working the ropes.

The bell rings and Justin falls to the mat as the ropes snap into his back and he’s in pain. Dead just shakes his head and starts laying the boots to Justin who is trying to roll out of the way and he finally rolls enough and makes it to the outside. Dead quickly follows him to the outside but Sane is nowhere to be found as he’s already rolled back into the ring. Dead rolls into the ring and gets to his feet to lock up with JS, but he’s nowhere to be found again. Justin has rolled back down to the floor where he seems to be debating the upcoming Obama/McCain election with Carl. TD is getting annoyed as he steps to the outside once again, but Justin catches him coming down with an inverted atomic drop. Dead clutches at the ole twig and berries while Justin starts rubbing his knee.

Carl helps TD get back in the ring as Sane hobbles his way back into the ring. JS is standing in the corner as Dead notices this and begins a full charge at him. At the very last possible second, Justin realizes his boot is untied and bends over to take care of that wardrobe malfunction. And that’s bad news for The Dead as he crashes headfirst right into the top turnbuckle. TD is staggering as JS looks back up and he sees Dead crouched over and Justin waves his hand in the air as he grabs The Dead in a side headlock. He points to the first corner…HIGH RISK HEADLOCK and it connects. Both men fall to the mat from the impact.

Justin is the first to his feet and he sees Dead lying motionless in the center of the ring and Sane stands over him positioned right at his head. He goes to take off his elbow pad, but then he realizes he’s not wearing one and he just looks sad at that realization. But no worries as he makes a big Z in the air with his hand to reference Zorro, I guess and then he takes off toward the ropes and just as he’s about to bounce off Blitz makes his presence known by tripping up Justin. This slows Justin down as he looks to the outside. Some words are said between Sane and Blitz before Carl comes flying around the corner and takes Blitz down.

JS looks down and laughs at Blitz, but it costs him as he turns around right into a spinning back kick from Dead. Justin bends over at the waist and that allows TD to pick him right up and he hooks the leg…FISHERMAN BUSTER…That was devastating. And TD gets back to his feet just as we see on the outside that Blitz has slammed Carl’s head into the post and he’s completely knocked out. Dead is waiting now for JS to get back to his feet and as soon as he does, yes, there it is...Dead has just CLOSED THE CASKET on Justin Sane. This is such a traveshamockery as Sane was actually working his tail off before Blitz got involved. But it’s all academic now after the CTC. Dead drops down and just to add insult here he grabs a huge handful of tights as he hooks Justin’s leg…

1…
2…
And 3.

But it’s not over yet for Dead and Blitz because as soon as the bell is rung Blitz flies off the top and connects with the BLITZ FLIP. Dead and Blitz really start to work over Justin Sane and just as Dead is about to CLOSE THE CASKET again, “Ladies and Gentlemen” by Saliva hits and Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling are flying down the aisle way. Blitz and Dead decide discretion is the better part of valor and bail out the back of the ring and hightail it through the crowd as Darling and Moreland check on their downed teammates.

But it’s all a bit too late as the official result is…

Your Winner in 9:58 as a result of pin fall…. The Dead.

Russ: DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! This cheating and no-good tactics HAS to END! Can NO ONE stop this?

Razz: Right now, Russ…the answer’s no. Rick’s team has been getting better, but right now Team Bennett’s got “cheating to win” on lockdown.

Russ: But they didn’t HAVE to cheat to win that one.

Razz: That’s not the point. They CAN cheat. That’s why they do it. It doesn’t matter if they HAVE to or not.

Russ: It’s NOT RIGHT. DAMN IT It’s not right…

Razz: You keep saying that like it matters. Let’s get to the next match…SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE!

[Tommy]

World’s Gayest Fag Team vs. Bunny/Carl From Fresno vs. The Midnight Sons

All three teams make their entrances and Referee Junior Hale calls for the bell. Carl and Bunny launch themselves at MacCappington, knocking him out of the ring. The Sons grab Hardcore and the beatdown is in progress. Ryan eats a right from DH, turns around into a left from Spin. He spins around and gets headbutted by DH, and then staggers back into Spin, who clobbers him with a forearm. Ryan flops to the mat and appears to be done for.

FFMac catches a flying Carl and tosses him into Bunny. FFMac reaches under the ropes and trips Spin. Ryan manages to not get pinned, and gets back to his feet. Spin and FFMac begin pounding away on each other using chairs and ringside implements. Bunny scrambles to the top rope and planchas onto them, sending all three tumbling over the barrier and into the crowd. In the ring, DH hits the Dreamstreet on Hardcore and Carl breaks up the submission. Carl suplexes Ryan and hits a jumping legdrop. He covers for 2, and DH picks Carl up and in one motion hits him with a belly to back suplex. Carl crawls to the ropes and DH follows him in. Carl gets in a low blow and a kneelift.

FFMac clobbers Hansen with part of the guardrail and drags a bloody Bunny back to the ring area. He rolls Bunny in under the ropes and climbs to the apron. DH greets him with a choke, only to be clubbed from behind by Hardcore. Bunny and Carl are back on their feet and they each snap off leg scissor takedowns on a member of WGFT. DH is back to his feet and grabs FFMac in an abdominal stretch. Carl hits the ropes and hits MacCappington with a flying burrito. DH grabs Carl and hits a fall away slam, and Carl rolls out of the ring. Hardcore hits a wheelbarrow suplex on Bunny, laying him out cold. Magnusson powerbombs Hardcore and covers for 1…2…and MacCappington is in to break to pin up. FFMac hoists Bunny up and hits the GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! DH kicks FFMac in the head before he even attempts a cover and they brawl to the outside. Carl climbs the ropes and dives in on Hardcore with a body press. Ryan rolls through and small packages Carl. 1…2…NO!

Bunny rushes in and shifts the package around! Carl is pinning Ryan! 1…2…NO! Hardcore gets to his feet and gets leveled with a Big Boot! Hansen has gotten back to the ring and begins clearing House! Ryan hardcore gets a HUGE DOUBLE CHOKESLAM and DH covers. 1…2… Bunny breaks the pin up, and Hansen locks in a bear hug. DH pounds away on Bunny’s face and Spin squeezes. MacCappington clubs DH from behind. Spin releases his grip on Bunny and attacks FFMac. The Sons double-team FFMac and hits a SPIKE PILEDRIVER. Spin covers for 1…2… and Carl crashes in from above with a swanton bomb. Spin Grabs Bunny, DH takes Carl and they toss both of them into a corner. DH charges in CORNER SPLASH! Spin follows up behind him CORNER SPLASH! Bunny and Carl collapse in the ring. The Sons look around at the 4 fallen opponents and high five each other. Bunny seems to stir first. Spin and DH pull him to his feet and they execute the 100 PROOF and get the win.

Your Winners: in 12:35; The Midnight Sons

Russ: Now THAT was a great match!

Razz: Wasn’t bad at all Russ, and the 2-time former champs really came through.

Russ: Let’s hope the clean competition continues with this next one as OOWF Future Hall-Of-Famer Concrete Takaken Gryfon takes on his former protégé THE Amnesiac, before he became a dirty turncoat, lying cheater.

Razz: Aren’t you supposed to be kind of objective? It’s a friggin’ heel turn.

*Kayfabe points at Razz and starts toward him in a stalking manner*

Razz: What bitch? You want some?

*Kayfabe strikes first but Razz quickly reverses and hits a couple German Suplexes before locking in the RAZZMISSION. Kayfabe taps.*

Razz: Like I said…

Russ: Referee Junior Hale is in the ring, and we’re ready to get this one started!

THE Amnesiac vs. Concrete TG

THE Amnesiac enters the arena first and makes his way slowly down the aisle, trading insults with the fans. He continues to trade barbs with the ringside crowd as Concrete TG, in full hero regalia, makes his entrance. Referee Junior Hale calls the combatants to the center of the ring and gives them their instructions before sending them to their corners and calling for the bell.

They lock up and CTG hits a hip toss. Amnesiac reverses a second attempt, and aims a kick at CTG’s head as he gets up. CTG ducks and attempts a leg sweep, but Amnesiac hops over it. He grabs CTG for a stunner as he gets up, but CTG shoves him off into the ropes. CTG rolls him up, but Amnesiac reverses, and CTG immediately kicks out. Both men roll to their feet in the “indy respect pose”, and Amnesiac tries for an eyepoke. CTG blocks, and Amnesiac responds with a swift kick to the nuts out of Junior’s line of site. CTG starts to pitch forward and Amnesiac grabs his head, running him face-first into the turnbuckle, and pulling him back into a backstabber. He covers and gets a two count.

Amnesiac pulls CTG to his feet and slaps him across the face before planting him with a body slam. He comes off the ropes and drops a leg across his throat, and covers for another two count. Amnesiac attacks as CTG as he gets up, and drives him back to the ropes with punches and chops. He tries an Irish whip, but CTG reverses. CTG ducks his head a moment too soon, and Amnesiac aims a kick, but CTG sidesteps, hooking Amnesiac’s leg and pulling him in for a suplex. CTG rolls to his feet and catches Amnesiac as he gets up, delivering a knee to the midsection and driving him to the mat with an implant DDT. CTG covers, but Amnesiac gets a foot on the ropes at two.

CTG grabs Amnesiac as he gets up and lifts him for a suplex, but Amnesiac slips out and lands behind him. He drives a pair of forearms into the back of CTG’s skull, and drops him with a reverse DDT. He covers, but CTG rolls a shoulder before the three. Amnesiac pulls CTG into a sitting position and locks on a dragon sleeper. CTG struggles and gets his feet under him. AS CTG bridges up, Amnesiac hooks him and turns it into a reverse suplex, dropping CTG on his face. He makes a cover, but CTG kicks out.

Amnesiac backs CTG into the corner and rocks him with a series of chops. He whips CTG across the ring and follows him in with a clothesline, but CTG moves out of the way. CTG hits the irish whip this time, and connects with a Stinger splash in the corner. Amnesiac stumbles out of the corner, and CTG sets up the Final justice, but Amnesiac reverses into a roll up for 2.9. CTG rolls to his feet, and Amnesiac nearly takes his head off with a kick. Amnesiac taunts CTG and drags him to the corner, then climbs the turnbuckles for CTG’s own Walk-up Moonsault. CTG rolls out of the way just in time, and Amnesiac bounces off the mat, ending up on his knees. CTG hooks Amnesiac from behind and rolls him up. Junior counts…One…Two…Three.

Your Winner, in 13:37, Concrete TG.

Russ: Finally, some justice is served in a terrific match.

Razz: That Concrete TG is really starting to come on of late. He’s looking to be one of the prime-time players for Team Rick.

Russ: Concrete TG is a born leader. It’s only a matter of time before he’s leading the charge for Team Rick…and doing it the RIGHT WAY!

Razz: Some people might take exception to that Russ.

Russ: Why on Earth would they do that?

Razz: Are you really this stupid? Are you Michael Cole?

Russ: BACK TO THE RING for a big-time grudge match…

[Tommy]

Stank vs. ZK DeBeers

Stank's in a bad mood tonight, and ZKD begs off immediately. DeBeers goes to the eyes and jumps on him, but Stank squashes him in the corner. And again. And again. Avalanche clothesline, and ZKD sells it thru the ropes, off the apron, and down the ring steps. Stank follows out and kicks DeBeers around the ringside area, but misses a charge and ZKD sends him to the rail. DeBeers gets some kicks in, and rolls Stank back in, but he takes too long getting back in and Stank puts the boots to him when he rolls back in. Overhead throw sends ZKD flying across the ring and a big legdrop follows that. Vertical suplex, and Stank rolls it up and into a swinging neckbreaker. Stank tries a DDT, but ZKD picks Stank's leg and grabs a leglock. Stank powers out of that, ducks a clothesline, and then no-sells a dropkick as ZKD pisses his pants.
STIFF clothesline turns DeBeers inside out and a splash gets two. Legdrop misses this time, and DeBeers goes back to the leg. ZKD looks for a figure four, but Stank kicks him to the corner and then hits a HUGE release German suplex that folds ZKD up like an accordion. STANKONIA~! But DeBeers crotches him... and then shoves him to the floor to buy some time. He gets his breath and follows out, but Stak blocks his right hand and coutners with one of his own. Then another. Then another, and Stank hotshots him onto the guardrail. Back in, to the ropes, and DeBeers eats a big boot, sending him back tot he floor again. DeBeers tries to crawl under the ring to get away, but Stank drags him out... and DeBeers brings out a wooden chair from under the ring. Stank tosses him back in and grabs the chair. The ref steps out to wrest the chair from him, and Stank says it wasn't his chair in the first place. Meanwhile, ZKD slips a big glove onto his hand and is playing possum in the ring. Stank climbs back in and pulls him up... and DeBeers throws a haymaker, and Stank DUCKS! STANK-U~!! But DeBeers decks him with the gloved hand and Stank falls forward and DeBeers lands right on top of his head! ZKD slips the glove off and slides it out of the ring,
and covers... one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 13:24: Z.K. DeBEERS

Russ: NO NO NO…This dirty cheating has gone on long enough!

Razz: Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do..

Russ: Not at the price of your morals, your dignity…your PRIDE…

Razz: Are you high?

Russ: Coming up next; another installment of a big-time feud between big men…

Poe vs. Davin Moreland

Poe is out first to “For Whom the Bell Tolls” with Selena and he pays no attention at all to the crowd or referee Davis Hightower during his entrance, but he is noticeably limping on his way down to the ring. There’s a brief silence before “Pull Me Under” starts up. The crowd flies up to their feet and cheers as Davin Moreland appears at the top of the ramp; arms raised. He doesn’t do much to acknowledge the crowd, but does manage to make the international symbol for counting “1,2,3” right at Poe, which riles the big man up. Selena bails to the floor, and Davin does his traditional one-hop-the-apron-one-hop-into-the ring deal. Hightower wastes no time, and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

In an unusual move, Davin attacks right away trying to land right hands, but after the second Poe, using his patience, catches Davin’s fist and reverses into a hammerlock. Davin slaps his shoulder twice (can someone…ANYONE…explain to me why they do that?) He tries to throw a Hip Toss to break the hold, but Poe blocks and counters with a SICK Chop Block, dropping the big man. Poe gets off two kicks to the face and one to the back of the head before locking on a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! He doesn’t seem to be using it as a submission so much as trying to inflict pain, as Poe wrenches and re-wrenches the arm; twisting and twisting himself around to prevent a reversal. Davin tries just about everything to reverse the hold, and coming up empty; he has to roll through to the ropes (and that HAD to hurt) for the break.

Poe surprisingly gives the clean break and allows Davin to get up. He does get up shaking his arm…that’s gotta be hurting right now. Poe goes to lock up, but at the last second ducks under and locks in another hammerlock on the injured arm of Moreland. Two shoulder slaps. This time, Davin goes with the back-elbow-to-the-nose route and is far more successful as Poe has to break the hold. This gives Moreland a split-second and he IMMEDIATELY dives for Poe’s injured ankle. He tries desperately to lock on an Ankle Lock, but Poe somehow manages to kick free and reverse into a Piledriver in a really nice spot. Poe’s cover is good for a long one count. Poe attacks, and lands a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX and covers. That’s good for two. He picks Davin up and lands a SPINNING POWERBOMB that just looked awesome. That gets two. Poe slaps the mat and picks Davin up again. He’s looking for THE PENDULUM! He starts to spin Davin around, but at the last second Davin is able to counter on his way down into a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER in another sweet spot. Davin is spent and unable to capitalize, and Hightower has no choice but to start the count.

Davin is up first at 7 and, seeing Poe still laid out, quickly jumps on him for the cover: 1, 2, thre….NO! Poe JUST DID get the shoulder up. Davin can’t believe it. After taking a moment to recover, he goes for Poe’s Ankle again. ANKLE LOCK! Davin’s got it on but before any serious damage can take place, Poe manages to kick Davin into the ropes. As Davin bounces off, Poe dives at Davin’s knees again, and locks on an ANKLE LOCK OF HIS OWN! Davin’s in TROUBLE but he eventually ROLLS THROUGH AND REVERSES INTO HIS OWN ANKLE LOCK! Then POE ROLLS THROUGH but Davin didn’t let go! Poe’s SHOULDERS ARE DOWN IN A MODIFIED ROLLUP! 1, 2…REVERSAL! DAVIN’S SHOULDERS ARE PINNED! 1, 2…ANOTHER REVERSAL! 1, 2, YET ANOTHER REVERSAL! 1, 2, and with the added benefit of a handful of tights, Davin stays down for 3 before kicking out.

YOUR WINNER by Pinfall after a million reversals in 11:18…POE!

Russ: HE HAD THE TIGHTS!! HE HAD THE TIGHTS!!!

Razz: You know, holding the tights really doesn’t do much.

*Kayfabe comes out and glares at Razz*

Razz: You want some more?

*Kayfabe does the International Gesture for “I’m watching you” and backs off*

Razz: That’s what I thought. And Russ; don’t ruin a good match by whining about the finish, ok?

Russ: But it’s WRONG!

Razz: Are you new here? First Championship match of the night…starting…RIGHT NOW!

[Tommy]

FIREWOMAN vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match – Eric O’Mac is Special Guest Referee

Attitude Adjuster and Eric O’Mac come to the ring together, which cannot bode well for Firewoman at all. They step between the ropes and wait. Firewoman’s music hits and she and Lucky come out to the top of the ramp. Fire sees Eric and AA laughing it up in the middle of the ring and she gets a look of pure fury on her face. Lucky tries to calm her but this time, it doesn’t work. Fire storms to the ring, tossing her title aside and sliding under the ropes. She gets to her feet and backs AA into the corner going nose to nose with him. Eric tries to separate the two, starting the five count. At four, he must have said something to Fire, because she turns and gives him the look of death. This gives AA the opportunity he needs, and he catches Fire with a forearm right to the jaw that sends Fire to the mat. AA grabs Fire’s legs and rolls her up, and Eric makes an impossibly fast two count, before Fire somehow manages to kick out. Fire spins to her feet and ducks a clothesline attempt by AA and takes him over with a deep arm drag. AA hits the mat and immediately starts complaining about a hair pull. Eric considers this for a moment, then orders the break. Fire releases the hold, and gets to her feet and goes nose to nose with Eric. AA grabs Fire from behind and rolls her up again, and gets another impossibly fast two count. Fire manages to kick out and get to her feet. AA charges at Fire, but she side steps and sends AA into the corner shoulder first. AA falls to his knees in the corner clutching at his shoulder, Fire gets a running start and connects with a drop kick to the back of the head that slams AA’s face into the turn buckle. AA falls to the mat and Fire is about to move in for a cover, when Eric stops her and checks on AA to make sure he is not injured. The fans start to boo as it is clear that Eric is being less than impartial. Finally Fire pushes Eric aside and pulls AA to his feet and connects with perfectly legal forearms to the side of the head. Fire pulls a stunned AA out of the corner and tries to whip him to the ropes, but AA reverses the whip. As Fire rebounds, AA lowers his head a moment too soon and Fire catches him with a PEDIGREE! Fire rolls AA over and hooks the leg, then has to yell at Eric to come over and make the three count. Eric walks over to where the pin is, slowly gets down on the mat, one…………………………………………………………….two………………………………………………………………………………………………………….thre…..NO! AA kicks out! You can hear Eric congratulate AA on the kickout! Firewoman is furious and looks to Lucky on the outside for comfort. She pulls AA to his feet, but AA gets a thumb to the eye that stops her in her tracks. AA grabs Fire and chokes her on the top rope, but Eric is nowhere to be found, instead he is on the other side of the ring arguing with Lucky about him being too close to the ring. AA finally snaps Fire back into the ring and drops an elbow across her chest and covers, as if shot out of a cannon, Eric dives across the ring and makes the onetwothr….but Fire just manages to roll her shoulder. AA shows a little bit of frustration, but Eric calms him down. AA pulls Fire up and sets her up of a piledriver, but Fire backdrops out of it. As AA gets to his feet, Fire springs off the bottom rope and catches him with a fame-asser! Fire covers, and gets another impossibly slow count. Fire jumps to her feet and argues with Eric, being very careful not to bump him and risk the sure to come fine. As they are arguing, AA slowly moves to the corner and climbs the ropes. Fire turns and drop kicks the top rope, crotching AA on the top! She climbs up and SNAPS AA OFF WITH A HURRACARANA! AA sails across the ring and lands with a thud, Fire gets to her feet and charges over and grabs AA for a FIRESTOMP! Eric warns her that that is now an illegal move in the OOWF (what?) Fire stares at him in disbelief, then snarls and hits the move anyway! Eric turns and immediately calls for the bell!
WINNER by DQ in 10:59 – Attitude Adjuster

After the match, Fire grabs Eric, but before she can do anything, AA gets to his feet and grabs her from behind and hits a neck breaker, then locks on THE IRON CLAW!! Fire writhes in pain as Lucky comes into the ring and tries to get AA off of her. Finally, with blood running down Fire’s head, AA releases the hold and slips out of the ring and heads to the back. Eric starts to leave, then sees that Fire is struggling to get to her feet, so he waits. Fire finally stands and stares at Eric in disbelief. Eric just shrugs and says "I didn't do anything" (channeling his inner Moose?). She glares at him for a moment, and then turns and demands a mic. Firewoman speaks in the ring? She never does this! She walks back to the center of the ring, glaring at Eric who walks to a corner, leans against the turnbuckle, with his arms folded, smirking. He can't wait to hear this.

FW: This has gone on long ENOUGH. It stops NOW.

The crowd is still booing the loss, but they are quieting down now that she's started talking, and there are a few cheers. Firewoman is pacing the ring like a caged animal. Even the usually even-tempered Lucky, who has joined her in the ring, is agitated.

FW: When I joined OOWF, it was because I had the chance to do what I loved...wrestle. Fight in an organization that recognized and respected my talent and didn't care that I was different from the other wrestlers. An organization that hired me to wrestle, not to be a glorified mic stand or aspiring centerfold. That's the OOWF I wanted to be a member of....

More cheers than boos now from the crowd. She waits for them to quiet, but keeps pacing as if that’s the only thing keeping her together right now. When she passes Eric O’ Mac, she glares, but he only grins and smirks.

FW: But then, a strange thing happened. Some mark from out of nowhere gets a little bit of cash, gets his nuts in a bunch, and decides he wants to be in control. And you know, I mostly try to stay out of such things. Just let me do my job, and leave me out of it. Let the big boys piss all over each other's shoes. As long as I get paid, it doesn't matter to me whose name is on the check. It’s all the same really. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

She turns to look at Eric, glaring. He smirks back.

FW: But that wasn't good enough was it? It wasn't enough to take over the office. Bennett and his lackeys.... (Eric stops smirking)... Yeah....you heard me. Bennett and his lackeys had to take over the locker room too. And if you dared to try and stay out of it? Too bad. Yeah, I haven't forgotten what happened Korea. Or in Japan. [she gets up close to the Eric.] Don't think I don't know who invited Inagawa.

Eric doesn't smirk, and neither does Firewoman. The crowd begins to cheer, as they sooo want her to take Eric out. She turns away and addresses the crowd.

FW: No no...not that....not today. It’s gone beyond that, and it stops here and now. I wanna see Bennett in the ring right now.

HUGE pop from the crowd! Did she just call out the CEO of the company? The crowd begins chanting Bennett's name, but not in the fun way. Eric leaves the corner, and starts shaking his head, as if to say there's no way that's happening. He begins to walk towards her.

FW: I'd stay right where you are, if I were you, Sparky. [she turns back to the top of the ramp.] C'mon Bennett...It's time to stop hiding behind Eric’s skirts. Your 'fans' want to see you. Now get your ass down here, you fucking coward.

Eric starts to walk up behind her. The crowd, which has been cheering wildly, now shouts a warning, as does Lucky. She turns to see Eric closing on her, and then WHAM! Pedigree on Eric O’ Mac! Eric is down! FIRESTOMP! Eric is more down! The crowd goes insane! At that point, Bennett's music hits. The crowd goes INSANER!! The boos are deafening.

Bennett storms down to the ring, and slides in. He grabs a mic from a production assistant.

LJB: Alright. You wanted my attention, you got it. But you're not going to like it.

Firewoman has dropped her mic already, and appears ready to take care of all sorts of business.

LJB: You know, we gave you so much leeway. I can't think of anyone who's been more disruptive to this company than you. Between trashed locker rooms, setting wrestlers on fire...you certainly have made an impact.

The crowd cheers. Firewoman smiles and nods. But she's still not dropping her focus or backing down.

LJB: Well, I have had it with you. You've been more trouble than your worth, but you've been protected—[FW stops smiling at this.]--by Rick, by Erlana, by that idiot Moreland...Heck, even Moose has a soft spot for you for some reason...Well none of them have anything to say about this. The rules are clear.

Firewoman looks at him as if he's an idiot. She grabs his mic from him.

FW: What rules? You've got nothing, Bennett.

Bennett snatches the mic back from her... and then steps back 3 paces...

LBJ: Oh yes I do. You are so right when you say “It stops here.” You’re finally going to get what’s coming to you. You see that man over there? The one in the striped shirt? He was acting as a referee in a match. And what's the rule about referees? It's like rule ONE in the wrestling play book? NO...TOUCHING...REFEREES.

Firewoman blows this off. She shakes her head and laughs...

LBJ: Oh yeah, keep laughing.. I think you'll find this REALLY funny. See, you violated that rule not more than 5 minutes ago, with THOUSANDS of witnesses. [He gestures to the crowd. One fan yells “I didn’t see anything!”] There's no way for you to get out of this now... none of your “friends” are going to be able to help you, not that they would anyway, right?

Firewoman stops laughing. Lucky comes up behind Firewoman, and grabs her shoulder to keep her from stepping closer to Bennett.

LBJ: The rules are very clear on this. You, Firewoman, are hereby SUSPENDED from competition in the OOWF for the next 30 days.

The crowd erupts in a chorus of boos. Firewoman stands stunned for a moment, and then smiles. She throws up her hands as if to say "Whatever." Lucky taps her on the shoulder and says "Okay, c'mon let's go...." She walks past Bennett, keeping her eye on him to get out of the ring.

LBJ: And this one's going to stick. No getting out of it.

Firewoman continues to no sell it. Lucky hands her the Onslaught Belt. Eric, who has finally recovered, whispers something to Bennett. Before FW can step under the ropes though....

LBJ: And one more thing. You'll need to give that belt to me.

Firewoman freezes, and turns. If she was glaring before, that was NOTHING compared to the look of death she is now sporting, and Lucky is furious. The crowd falls silent, stunned.

LBJ: See, it is pointless for a wrestler to have a title and not be able to defend it. That kind of defeats the whole purpose. So, at this moment, I am declaring the Onslaught Title vacated. Next week we will start a tournament to crown a new Onslaught champion. Now hand it over.

Firewoman is incredulous! Eric O’ Mac is beside himself with glee. The crowd has erupted again, in a chorus of boos. Firewoman yells "FUCK YOU" to Bennett and gets right up into his face.

LJB: Oh please.... do it! DO IT! Just think what happens to you if you even lay a FINGER on me!!

Lucky (once again displaying an uncanny ability to talk some sense into FW), pulls her back. He steps between the two and looks at Firewoman. He says ... something, the mics can't pick it up for all the crowd noise. Firewoman nods...Lucky steps aside. Firewoman looks at her belt. Looks around the arena. Looks at Bennett, Eric, Lucky, back at the belt. Lucky steps closer to her and says “You don’t have to do this. Let me.” She nods…and hands Lucky the belt. She climbs under the ropes and jumps down off the apron. Lucky nods at her, and turns towards Bennett. He looks at the belt, and then back at Firewoman. He glares at Bennett.

LJB: C’mon, son. Let me have it.

And Lucky does. Without hesitation, he brings the belt up and WHAM! Nails Bennett with the belt!! Bennett is down! The crowd goes crazy!! Lucky drops the belt onto Bennett as he’s lying there and gets out of the ring, following Firewoman up the ramp. Fans along the side try to get them to high five, but they just want to get back stage.

Eric helps Bennett up. Once Firewoman and Lucky are gone, the cheers turn to boos. The crowd is definitely NOT happy with this, as they begin throwing anything they can get their hands on into the ring. Bennett and Eric duck and dodge as best they can, but there's too much, and they get hit several times as they make their way out of the ring and up the ramp.

Russ: That damned Bennett! He wasn’t even supposed to BE here tonight! He got what he deserved!

Razz: He’s like 60 years old and got blasted in the head with a 25 lb metal belt. He deserved that?

Russ: Yes! FRONTIER JUSTICE!

Razz: Consistency much?

Russ: BOOMER SOONER…BOOMER SOONER…BOOMER SOONER…BOOMER SOONER!

Razz: You want to die tonight, fat man? Next title match starts now.

[Tommy]

IHOP vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF Tag Team Championship Match

Phantos & Lucios come to the ring, no nonsense no playing to the crowd, just 100% focused on the match. They step between the ropes and wait in the corner. IHOP comes out to the top of the ramp, clad completely in camouflage fatigues. Sadly for those in attendance, SYB has a mic:

I am not sure if you people have noticed, but the OOWF is at WAR! For too long, we have been the victims of merciless sneak attacks, constant shenanigans, and losses by nefarious means!

Well, today, that STOPS! No longer will we be victims to GM the Rick’s nefarious sneak attacks! Today, IHOP has armed themselves, and the rest of Team Bennett, with two of THESE




That’s right! Who’s laughing now! Of course, those tanks were not cheap. I had to me them down to a world tag team title match. So, tonight, we will be facing Col. Kway Thu and his partner Col. Htay Oo! If we win, we keep the tanks, if they win, they get the OOWF World Tag Team titles!

So, Phantom and Luscious it looks like you two are out of luck……..again. Gentlemen, please escort these masked men out of the arena.

<A gaggle of Burmese Military head to the ring and surround Phantos and Lucios. They glare at IHOP for a moment, then put up their hands and leave the ring without resistance. As they make their way up the ramp, SYB and Skurge make sure to give them a little wave before they leave. They head to the ring, where their opponents, Col Oo and Col Thu, both appearing to be well into their 60’s wait.>

IHOP comes to the ring, and SYB motions for Skurge to relax on the apron, he’s got this under control. SYB walks to the middle of the ring where Col. Oo waits stoically. SYB smirks as the referee calls for the bell. SYB gets close to Oo, who still has not changed his expression. SYB laughs at him and takes a swing at him and Oo grabs SYB’s hand and finds the pressure point that sends SYB to his knees. Oo then connects with several stiff kicks to SYB’s ribs, while keeping hold of his arm. Oo drags SYB to his corner and tags in Thu, Thu pulls SYB to his feet and hits a judo palm strike right to SYB’s sternum that sends him to the mat. SYB tries to crawl away, but Thu grabs his leg and locks in him a leg lock putting pressure on the knee, and twisting his ankle trying to break it. SYB screams in pain and motions for Skurge to come in for the save. Skurge runs into the ring and tries to catch Thu in the face with a kick, but he falls backward and Skurge runs right into the Colonel’s corner where Oo catches him with a judo thrust to the throat. SYB finally makes it to the ropes forcing the break, and powders out where he is joined by Skurge. They talk strategy on the outside while the Colonels wait on the inside. Finally SYB climbs back into the ring and comes face to face with Thu, and gives him a scientific thumb to the eye. Thu staggers and SYB tags in Skurge. Skurge comes in and takes Thu to the mat with a clothesline, then drops a leg and covers, but Thu manages to kick out at two. Skurge whips Thu to the ropes and scoops him up for a slam, but Thu slips over his shoulder and lands behind him and grabs Skurge in a cobra clutch! Skurge is trapped in the middle of the ring! The crowd erupts as it appears that their heroes are only moments away from winning the tag team titles. SYB baits Oo causing him to come into the ring. As the referee is distracted, SYB grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Thu’s back! Thu releases the hold, and Skurge takes him to the mat with a spinning elbow to the side of the head. Skurge tags in SYB, and then grabs Thu’s legs and catapults him up into a HEBREW HAMMER! SYB falls on Thu, hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three! They win the tanks!
WINNERS in 9:11 and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions – IHOP

Oo comes in to check on his partner, and SYB and Skurge attack him from behind and put the boots to him. After a few minutes of this, Phantos and Lucios slide into the ring with chairs and IHOP beats a hasty retreat to the back.

Russ: Will those two ever get a fair shake?

Razz: I’ll give you that Russ. They’ve certainly gotten screwed a lot. But they’re a resilient pair. They’ll bounce back.

Russ: Intercontinental Title is on the line…and it starts…RIGHT NOW!

Alexander Darling vs. Moosehead Jack – OOWF Intercontinental Championship Match

As the music starts a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing we hear is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander Darling takes a step onto the ramp. He doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and ”Princes of the Universe.” He makes his way down to the ring to cheers and nods to Sterling Glaw before leaning against the turnbuckle. “Scarecrow” by Ministry starts, and instead of the usual booing, Moosehead Jack is greeted with a “Hello-ween Sucks” chant. Interesting. Moose slowly makes his way into the ring and slumps in the corner. Glaw glances at both participants and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

It looks like we’re gonna get a lockup, but at the last second, Moose just punches Darling in the facemask. And again, and again, Darling is just ROCKED all the way to the corner. Moose starts hitting European Uppercuts and Glaw tries to get a break. Moose just snarls and lands some Kevin Nash Elbows in Darling’s grill. Darling hasn’t even had time to get his hands up! Moose finally powers Darling up to the top turnbuckle sitting him there; and he just SLAMS a Right Hook into Darling’s jaw, potentially knocking him out, but definitely knocking him outside to the floor. Moose follows and hops right back on the attack. He pulls Darling to his feet and WHIPS HIM INTO THE STEEL STEPS splaying them across the floor. Moose picks the bottom half of the Steel Steps and TOSSES them at Darling. They land on him, and that draws admonishment from Glaw inside the ring, who reminds Moose that the count is 8. Moose rolls into the ring to break the count.

He rolls back out, and stalks his prey. He pulls a near lifeless Darling up to his feet, and looks for a Heartpunch…but, as is the case with a Heartpunch, it takes 10 or 12 years to throw it, and Darling has plenty of time to recover, catch Moose’s fist, spin Moose around and hit an INVERTED DDT ON THE STEEL STEPS! Ouch. Darling makes his way inside the ring and breaks the count. He goes to the top turnbuckle, and Looks back toward the ring. He kisses his hand and points to the sky…PHOENIX SPLASH TO THE OUTSIDE ON MOOSE! Glaw starts to count again. Darling is back in at 7, and rolls back out to keep the attack on Moose. Apron treatment. Announce Table Treatment. Barrier-related Offense. Moose is a bloody mess before he’s tossed back into the ring. Darling follows and hefts Moose up on his shoulders…He’s looking for the DARLING DRIVER…He’s got him up aaaannd….MOOSE SLIDES OFF, LOCKING IN THE JI-ENDO!

Darling tries everything he can think of to break the hold, but Moose locked it on perfectly. Finally, thankfully for Darling’s sake, he manages to barely touch a rope. That’s enough to draw a break from Glaw, much to the dismay of Moose. Moose is PISSED and lets Glaw know it. He goes to attack Darling again, but Darling fights back! They trade “Yay!” “Boo!” punches until Darling gets the better of it, forcing Moose into the ropes. Darling uses the momentum to get Moose on his shoulders, and he again looks for the DARLING DRIVER…but Moose AGAIN SLIPS OFF, and hits a LUNGBLOWER. Moose takes a half-second to get his bearings, and the bloody-faced Moosehead Jack locks in the Ji-Endo one last time. This time Darling is in NO condition to fight out of it, and is forced to tap out.

YOUR WINNER by SUBMISSION in 19:46 and NEW OOWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION…MOOSEHEAD JACK!

Post-match, Moose takes the lifeless form of Darling and flips him on his stomach. He pulls his arms and legs…uh oh….MOTHERFUCKIN CURBSTOMP ON DARLING! Just as the move was hit ALL of Run DEA comes flying to the ring (except Emma and the Animals). Moose decides discretion is the better part of valor and takes off through the crowd.

Russ: Well, we have a new champ. I don’t like that Moosehead Jack, no sir – but I admit he won that clean.

Razz: It’s why he’s a Grand Slam champ, Russ. Triple Moose is one of the best performers, if not THE best in OOWF History.

Russ: What did you call him?

Razz: Moose Hogan?

Russ: I’m…missing your references here…

Razz: Can’t say I’m surprised…Time for YOUR Main Event…and it’s for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship!

LD Williams vs. Seamus McNasty – OOWF World Heavyweight Championship Match

“Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced” by the Dropkick Murphys kicks up and Seamus McNasty makes his way down the ramp to a bunch of cheers. He slowly makes his way down, waving at the crowd, and finally rolls into the ring, nodding at Senior Referee Mel Creech and resting in the corner. “Jekyll and Hyde” by Petra finally starts up, and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion LD Williams makes his way down the ramp, wearing his belt. He ignores the crowd which is giving him his customary strange mixture of cheers and boos. He climbs into the ring, and hands his belt to Mel Creech, who holds it high in the air. This match will be for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. He hands the belt to the timekeeper and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Lockup to start, and it’s a long one. Neither man is interested in giving ground, so they just continue to leverage each other around the ring, until finally Seamus pushes LD into the ropes. Creech calls for the break, and after 4, he gets it. The two lockup again, but this time LD gives ground…too much ground and is able to trip Seamus into the ropes. LD quickly follows up with a bunch of crossfaces in a row before Creech leisurely calls for a break. LD obliges, but gives no ground and locks in a headlock, which he uses to Snap Mare Seamus over. He gets off a kick to the back of the head before locking in a sleeper while Seamus is sitting down. Smart move. Seamus is actually starting to fade out before reacting to the crowd and allowing himself to get lucid enough for a rope break. SLOW 5 count from Creech. LD goes on the attack again, but this time Seamus hits him with a shoulder block, stopping LD in his tracks. LD runs at Seamus again, and AGAIN eats a shoulder block for his trouble. LD goes to the well once again, but this time eats a SPINEBUSTER from Seamus, who takes the momentary break to re-gather himself. Creech starts a count.

He gets to 4 and both men are to their feet. Instead of locking up again, the two decide to go all hockey fight on us, and just start throwing ridiculous haymakers. Seamus eventually gets the better of it, and lands a right hand that ROCKS LD. Looks like it hit him in the nose, and you know what that means. Yup. Bloody nose. LD gets turned all the way around. FINNEGAN’S WAKE on LD. Seamus dives for the cover, which gets a slow two. Seamus gives Creech a quizzical look and gets back to work. ROCKY ROAD TO DUBLIN and when Seamus is finished with his stomping, he covers again…it’s another slow 2. Seamus is noticeably pissed off now and hoists LD up…He’s looking for THE WILD ROVER and it’s reversed into a ROLLUP! Great Move! This gets a somewhat speedy (relatively) 2 count. I guess Creech just can’t help himself. Seamus immediately gets free and jumps on LD, pummeling him in the face while pinning his arms. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, LD manages to kick Seamus SQUAR IN THE NUTS. Creech, obviously, missed it. However, both men are down, so he counts again.

Both men are up at 6 and a bloody LD goes on the attack, but Seamus hits a DROP TOE HOLD on the Turnbuckle. Seamus hits a FRANKENSTEINER…This could be trouble for the champ! Cover gets two. LD kicks out and Seamus wastes no time. He looks like he’s gonna fly! Seamus leaps off the turnbuckle and EATS KNEES sending him backward. The possum-playing LD attacks the stumbling Seamus…DDT! McNasty is in BIG TIME trouble now. LD takes a moment to collect himself, and then locks it on…Stepover. Toehold. Facelock. STF is locked in and there’s nowhere to go for Seamus. He hangs on valiantly, but has no choice but to eventually tap.

YOUR WINNER by SUBMISSION in 15:28...and STILL OOWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…LD WILLIAMS!

Post-match, Eric O’Mac and THE Amnesiac come tearing down to ringside, and put the boots to McNasty, with LD just slumped in the corner recovering. After a minute of this, and the bell ringing, Davin Moreland’s music hits as he LIMPS down the ramp, but brought his trusty friend rebar with him. Eric and Amnesiac look like they want to take down the weakened Moreland, but LD convinces them to bail. They do as Moreland rolls into the ring. Moreland checks on Seamus first and then gets right in the face of LD Williams. LD pleads his case, and Davin does some of his diplomacy…threatening. Both are nose to nose as referees, indie workers and the respective locker rooms of Team Bennett and Team Rick flood ringside to do the pull apart spot.

Razz: WHAT A NIGHT RUSS! WHAT A NIGHT!

Russ: It sure was exciting, even if there was entirely too much cheating going on for me.

Razz: And again, Team Bennett has all the titles in a secondary storyline which has REALLY run its course by now.

Russ: No wonder they stuck you with Adamle.
Razz: Whatever. Bottom line is: Bennett’s got the Gold, and I get the feeling LD and Davin are gonna stop playing nice VERY soon.

Russ: But Davin’s busy with Poe right now…and what about the Onslaught Title…VACATED! That bastard Bennett.

Razz: He’s smart, Russ. It’s within his power to do it, and he did it. Not saying it’s right, just a smart move.

Russ: Will this interminable war ever end? Find out next week on Mayhem, live from somewhere in the Asian Pacific Rim!

Schiovane: It will be the BEST MAYHEM EVER! WE GOT PERMISSION FROM THE NETWORK TO STAY ON 10 MINUTES OVER, and if it CONTINUES…WE’LL KEEP THE TAPE MACHINES ROLLING!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF As Yet Unnamed July PPV, Live July 27th from Camp Anaconda. Iraq! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! July 16th, from somewhere, probably in Asia. Of course, Moose didn’t bother to tell me.

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts

Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

[Tommy]

Schiovane - And special for the West Coast feed only. Tonight...the GREATEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!! IT'S TYTAN! IT'S OUTBACK JACK...And IT'S NEXT!!!

OUTBACK JACK vs. TYTAN in a BAH GAWD STEEL CAGE!

The cage is being lowered, and Steve Vai is blaring through arena PA system as Tytan appears from his platform at the top of the ramp. The genetic miracle stares ahead blankly as Podvod escorts him to the ring and into the cage issuing last minute instructions to her ward. "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" suddenly cuts off Tytan's music, and at the entrance ramp...


Nothing. Where is -

OUTBACK JACK is in the ring! Where did he come from? How did he get there? No time to answers those questions now, as Jack makes his prescence known by pelting his opponent in the back of the head with his empty Foster's can! Tytan launches at Jack, the bell rings as the referee locks the cage door, and we're underway! This being an OOWF cage match, the only ways to win are pinfall, submission, or referee stoppage - we don't have have the escape cop out in this one folks. Tytan and Jack are toe-to-toe in the middle of the ring slugging it out with heavey right hands. Tytan lands a massive that staggers Jack into the ropes, but Jack comes springing off with big boot! Tytan staggers backwards, but stays on his feet which Jack takes as an invitation to try again. A second big boot connects, sending Tytan down to one knee. Jack off the ropes again, launches the boot a third time, but Tytan goes low, clipping Jack's other leg for underneath him. The big Aussie crashes down in a heap, and Tytan pounces on him, raining blows down on the top of Jack's head. Podvod is screaming something at Tytan, and it seems to register, as he grabs the injured leg of Outback Jack and wraps it up in a standing grapevine. Jack's screaming but not tapping as Tytan cranks down pressure on the knee, but he's not giving it up. Tytan grabs the other leg, steps over and locks in a figure four. Tytan sits forward and slams backwards, really pouring it on. Jack grabs the ropes, but with no DQs, there no count for a break. Tytan sits forward again, slams back again, and Jack screams again. The ref is looks to Jack, who very clearly shakes his head "no", so Tytan sits forward again...And gets a rake to the eyes from Jack for his effort! Tytan grabs his eyes, and Jack uses the opportunity to work his way out of the leglock as the big man tries to clear his vision.

Both men back to their feet, although Jack looks to standing a bit gingerly, and Tytan seizes the opening to drive Jack into the turnbuckle with a massive spear that takes Jack his feet into the corner. Hard whip from Tytan sends Jack crashing chest-first into the opposite side turnbuckle, and Tytan delivers another massive spear, this time crushing Jack from behind. The big Aussie crashes to the mat, and Tytan makes the cover:

1...
2...

Tytan lurches his body upward, screaming as Jack rolls the shoulder. Tytan looks to be struggling to break his own pin, but what is...Jack is biting Tytan! Outback Jack is latched onto Tytan's face like a rabid wombat! Podvod is shrieking on the outside to the referee, who can't do anything but shrug. Both men to their feet, and Jack is still digging his teeth into Tytan's forehead. There's a small trickle of blood coming from around Jack's mouth, and when he finally breaks the bite, we can clearly see it's Tytan's blood. Outback Jack has chewed Tytan's face open! That can't be sanitary.

Tytan sees his own blood and FLIES~ at Jack, murder in his eyes. The cagey (no pun intended) veteran is ready for him though, sidestepping Tytan and sending him face first into the side of the UNFORGIVING STEEL CAGE~! Jack is grinding Tytan's face into the cage, opening the gash in Tytan's head even wider. Jack whips him into the other side of the cage, adding enough lift to send Tytan crashing into that wall, and follows up with a backstabber. Outback Jack with the cover:

1...
2.

Barely a two count as Tytan powers out, blood flowing freely down his face. Outback still in control however, as he grabs a quick go-behind on Tytan and sends the Ultimo prototype crashing down with a release german suplex. Jack back to his feet long enough to drive a kneedrop into the side of Tytan's head. Pick-up and irish whip into the ropes by Jack, who's looking for a backdrop, but he lowers head maybe a moment too soon as Tytan hits the breaks, loading up Jack and snapping out a lightning fast powerbomb! What a display of strength! Jack is down, hell...Jack might be dead. Tytan is on one knee, gathering himself, as Outback Jack slowly begins to stir. Jack slowly up his feet, and Tytan dives in with a nasty chop block! Jack crumples to the mat, and the bloodied Tytan stomps away on his knee. Tytan drags Jack to the corner, wraps knee around the ropes, and begins stomping away again. Tytan might be looking to end Outback Jack's career here. Tytan pulls Jack to his feet, saying something to him, and rams him into the side of the cage, dragging his face back and forth across the UNFORGIVING STEEL until Jack's foehead is ripped wide open! This almost draws a smile from Tytan...almost. Tytan with a back suplex, and a quick cover:

1...
2...
Thr-

No! Jack with a shoulder up at the last moment! Tytan looks stunned. Podvod looks stunned. Jack looks half-dead. Tytan with another pickup on Jack, and a high vertical suplex shows off Tytan's raw power. Another cover, Tytan grapevines the leg:

1...
2...


Jack rolls the shoulder again, and Tytan is looking frustrated! He screams something at Povod, who busies herself with a small leather case. Tytan pulls Jack up to his feet, hoists him up...CORPRATE FALLOUT! Pure power out of the big man! Following the splash, Tytan grabs the leg for the academic pinfall:


1...
2...


Outback Jack rolls the should AGAIN! Where did the find the strength to kick out of that? Tytan lets out a primal scream in anger, and makes his way to the far side where, Podvod is waiting. She looks to have a...syringe of some sort? This can't be legal. In wrestling or otherwise. Tytan presses his arm against the cage and Podvod prepares the injec-

A fan has grabbed Diana Podvod! A fan has grabbed Diana Podvod! No...Not a fan...WALLY B. KING has grabbed Diana Podvod! He pulls her back to the barricade, and Tytan is LIVID!~ He's screaming at Wally...

But he took his eyes off Outback Jack for too long, who reminds Tytan of his prescence with a high knee back to the back, sending Tytan crashing facefirst again! Tytan doesn't have the time even slump to the mat as Jack ties him into the ropes, his back to the ring. Outback Jack hits the farside ropes, full head of steam...BOOMERANG! BOOMERANG! BOOMERANG! Tytan crashes hard into steel yet again, and he slumps lifelessly to the mat. Outback Jack with the cover:

1...
2...
3!

Mercifully, this one is over.

Winner,via PINFALL at 13:52: OUTBACK JACK!

Schiovane: WHAT DID I TELL YOU FOLKS!?!?! GREATEST MATCH EVER!!!!!! WE'LL KEEP THE TAPE MACHINES ROLLING!!

*fade*

[Jack Quinn]

Jul 9, 2008 18:09:19 GMT -5 Tommy said:

And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! July 16th, from somewhere, probably in Asia. Of course, Moose didn’t bother to tell me.

Well, the world tour dates ARE posted. Just sayin.

And thanks for posting everything Tommy, I appreciate you filling in while I was gone

[Fire-Babe]

I told him that Moose. He got all bitchy on me.