OOWF MidWeek Mayhem Live From Bagram Air Base
Jul 23, 2008 19:27:56 GMT -5
Post by Jack Quinn on Jul 23, 2008 19:27:56 GMT -5
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan
APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. ZABI KHAN
Zabi Khan comes out first. He is the Afghanistan Wrestling Association light heavyweight champion and one of the premier high flyers in the world. He sprints to the ring and slides under the ropes and gets a nice pop from the crowd. His opponent, Apocalyptic Existence is making his return to the OOWF after a long hiatus. He comes to the ring with a stoic look on his face being led by his new manager Chad Patton. AE steps between the ropes and immediately goes after Khan, catching him with shot to the back of the head beating him to the mat. AE pulls Khan to his feet and whips him to the ropes and follows him, but Khan slides under the bottom rope, then springs to the apron, onto the top rope and catches a charging AE with a perfect hurracarana! The crowd pops nicely for that one. Khan waits for AE to get to his feet, then catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that sends him back into the corner. Khan charges in and goes for the monkey flip, but AE shoves him off. Kahn does a back roll and gets right to his feet, but AE explodes out of the corner and catches him with a clothesline. Khan sells it like a champ doing a complete 360 before hitting the mat. AE pulls Khan to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw of his own. On the outside Patton encourages AE and tells him to end the high flyer. AE pulls Khan to his feet and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon and Khan leaps over him, on the second rebound, Khan leaps at AE, but AE catches him and KILLS him with a belly to belly suplex! Khan rolls out of the ring to the floor. AE Gets to his feet and soaks in the boos of the crowd for a moment, Khan regains his composure pretty well, hops on the apron and spring boards into the ring, AE sees him coming and side steps and Khan crashes and burns. AE hits a standing double stomp to the gut, driving all the air out of Khan. AE lets Khan struggle to his feet, then hits the ropes and snaps him back to the mat with a neck breaker. AS makes the cocky one boot cover, and Khan kicks out. Finally it appears that AE has had enough, he pulls Khan to his feet and hits the VERTEBREAKER! Khan is done. AE hooks his leg and gets the academic one, two, three.
WINNER in 4:21 – Apocalyptic Existence
TYSON KINCAID & THE AMNESIAC vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS
Kincaid and ROH have decided to start for their respective teams, and as each man makes his way to the center of the ring, Kincaid extends his hand in a rare show of sportsmanship. TNA looks to the crowd -who boo loudly. Of course the crowd would be booing these four anyway, so what does that proof? After a few tenuous attempts, ROH extends his hand hand...And thumbs Kincaid in the eye! Kincaid staggers back looking to clear his vision, as TNA and WWE play up the "ring savvy" of ROH's move. He turns back around, only to eat 3 heavy right hands in quick succession for a VERY irate Kincaid! The third punch floors TNA, who wisely takes the opportunity to roll out of the ring. Barros starts the count, and gets to 8 before TNA slides back in, still rubbing his jaw.
Collar and elbow tie-up, and Kincaid quickly powers him back into the corner. Barros calls for a clean break, and Kincaid responds with a thunderous slap across the face of the faux-Samoan. Back to the center of the ring, back to the collar and elbow tie-up, and this time TNA pulls in a quick side head, screaming "TAAAAAP"! at Kincaid. Kincaid fires him off, and floors him on the way back with a high shoulder tackle. TNA quickly back to his feet, hits the ropes...same result. Kincaid is audibly LAUGHING at his opponent now, and TNA hops back up, hits the rope...and slides between The Riot Act's legs, coming up with a big standing dropkick! And a second! Kincaid is on spaghetti legs as ROH tags WWE, who comes into the ring via a slingshot lariat! Kincaid is down, STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! WWE hooks the leg:
1...
2...
Kincaid rolls a shoulder at two and a half, to which WWE responds with a flurry of punches to the head of the downed Kincaid. Pickup by WWE, who fires Kincaid into the ropes, but telegraphs a backdrop, allowing Kincaid to pull up short, and deliver a clubbing double axe handle. WWE grabs at his back, and Kincaid follows up with a dangerous looking overhead release wheelbarrow suplex! Kincaid drags WWE over to his corner and makes the tag, as THE Amnesiac comes in with slingshot leg drop.
THE Amnesiac firmly in control, as he looks to the crowd, fired up, and locks in a devastating...chin lock.
Really? A chin lock? THE Amnesiac thrashes WWE's head around a bit, making it look like the most vicious move ever, and Barros checks the arm:
1...
2...
WWE forces his hand up at the last second, and the crowd goes BANANA~! THE Amnesiac looks shocked. TNA looks confused. WWE looks to be getting to his feet, still in the chin lock, and we can finally see what the crowd was so wild about as CONCRETE TG and LADDER hit the ringside area! CTG flies down the ramp, flinging ladder into the ring and pulling Kincaid off the apron as he slides in. THE Amnesiac barely avoids ladder by using WWE as a shield, but he can't avoid the rain of lefts and rights from Concrete! TNA hops in the ring, and eats a Mafia Kick from the superhero for his efforts! THE Amnesiac takes a powder as Concrete grabs ladder back up, swinging it wildly around the ring! Barros calls for the bell, and it looks like this one didn't have a chance, as Concrete TG and ladder have cleaned house!
WINNER - NO DECISION in 7:06 minutes.
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. BLITZ vs. KNIFE
Angelo Barros is YOUR Referee!
Seamus and Knife get nose to nose to start. The two have an exchange, where Seamus' face slowly darkens from red to fuchsia to deep purple. Poor Blitz is jumping up and down beside them trying to get their attention, but Knife ignores him. Blitz pushes at Seamus' arm - big mistake as he's nearly punched clean out of the ring by Seamus! Knife actually protests this course of action but Seamus refuses to apologize. Knife frowns, but Seamus doesn't just attack, so they lock up. Seamus with the power advantage as he pushes Knife to a corner. Barros calls for a break and gets it - but Blitz is back in the ring and jumping on Seamus' back, beating him about the head and neck. Seamus throws Blitz to the mat and stomps him mercilessly, Knife protesting all the more. Knife finally gives up reasoning with Seamus and shoves him away from Blitz. Knife helps Blitz to his feet but gets slapped for his efforts. Knife is slowly losing his patience with both grapplers as Seamus stomps back over and knocks their heads together. He shoves Knife aside and throws Blitz in the corner, stunning him with a shoulder block. Blitz crumples to the mat. Seamus stands over him a moment, grinning, before Knife ambushes him and drives him to his knees. Seamus is stunned for the moment as Knife pounds away, and Blitz still partially slumped on the ropes, looking to the ramp.....?
RUN IN is pointing to the ring at Blitz and sure enough The Dead charges down! Run In is cheering and dancing and hi-fiving Theme Music as Dead slides into the ring and helps Knife keep the big man down! Blitz gets up off the ropes and joins in the beat down. Knife asks Dead and Blitz to stand Seamus up so that he can finish him off when the ring floods with PIER SIX! Dead, Blitz and Knife are mowed down! But Run In and Theme Music are confused, as is Schmoz, who walks through the curtain to watch in amazement. Schmoz gets his wits about him and opens the curtain, ordering wrestlers to hit the ring two or three at a time. Barros tries to stop the rush of wrestlers but gets run over by Sell - and they both hit the ground unconscious.
WINNERS - NO CONTEST at 6:24.
The rest of the referee corps come out to restore order as Pier Six help Seamus up. They remove their motorcycle helmets to reveal that GAELIC STORM started the melee. They celebrate before escalating the melee even further.
THE DEAD vs. ZK DEBEERS
Some chain wrestling to start things off, and DeBeers gains the upper hand via some tights pulling and a headlock takedown. Dead fights back and sends him to the ropes, and a shoulder block draws a stalemate. A second one does the same. A third try... but Dead decks him with a left hand instead. Dead pounds him to the corner and monkey flips him out. Elbow drops follow until ZKD rolls out of the ring to regroup. Dead follows out, but DeBeers suckers him in and pops him with a back elbow. To the stairs we go, and DeBeers drops Dead on the dislodged steps. Back in, and a fist drop gets two. DeBeers works a modified cobra clutch on the mat, and Dead makes the ropes to break. Clean break, but DeBeers yanks Dead from the ropes and goes to reapply the hold. Dead counters however with a wristlock into a hammerlock on the mat, but ZKD runs to the corner and lets Dead's momentum take him to the turnbuckle. Belly to back suplex gets a two count. Standing neck breaker also gets two. ZKD to the second rope, but Dead gets his boot up, and DeBeers sells it with the "timberrrrrrrrr" selljob. Double count here, and both guys are up at 7. Wild slugout, and Dead gets the upper hand, sending DeBeers thru the ropes and tangled up on the apron. Dead opens up on him with punches as the ref tries a break, but Dead shoves him aside. The ref tries again... but before the ref can pry Dead off DeBeers, the MIDNIGHT SONS storm the ring and rip Dead off. They set him up for High Times, but DONOVAN VIPER and ATTITUDE ADJUSTER run in to break that up... and we have a brawl. Viper blindsides Spin from behind and sends him to the floor, while Magnusson has enough presence of mind to turn and catch AA a step before he gets there. Spin climbs back in, but is grabbed by DeBeers... and Hansen decks him. CARL FROM FRESNO and OUTBACK JACK are out, only to have the WORLD'S GREATEST FAG TEAM right behind them!! It's a pier nine brawl!! ALEXANDER DARLING rushes in to even the sides at five apiece, and he sends AA flying from the ring. AA tries to get back in, but DeBeers tries to pull himself up using AA's leg, and Capps drills him!! WGFT and the Sons scatter out to the floor and brawl in the crowd, and the usual gang of idiots waltzes down to try and get some order... to no avail. The brawl completely spills to the floor... with Viper getting a STIFF kick in to OBJ's face in the melee, and after a couple of minutes of insanity, everybody ultimately brawls to the back.
WINNER in 9:34: NO CONTEST.
ERIC O’MAC vs. MARK VANDER
Mark Vander comes to the ring and waits in the corner while Eric O’Mac is announced. Ice-T’s “The Tower” blares across the arena and Eric comes out from the back with the rest of Revolution XXX and a bit of a crazed look in his eyes. He slowly walks to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Vander. Eric slides under the bottom ropes and immediately charges at Vander, catching him with a forearm to the back of the head. Vander slumps and Eric throws him into the corner and beats him mercilessly with rights and lefts to the face. The referee steps in and demands a break, Eric gives it, but just long enough to avoid being disqualified. He grabs Vander by the throat and chokes him in the corner, then pulls Vander to his feet and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Vander takes a few swipes at Eric, but Eric is in a rage, he catches Vander with a spinning kick to the mouth that snaps his head back dangerously. Vander is dazed, so Eric throws him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him outside and slams him face first into the floor, then pulls him to his feet, scoops him up and drives him to the concrete. Eric quickly hops onto the apron and climbs the corner and hits a MAC ATTACK onto the floor! Eric gets to his feet and just stares down at Vander with a disgusted look on his face. Vander writhes in pain on the floor, coughing up blood, he could have broken ribs after that. Eric finally snaps out of it and rolls Vander back into the ring where he immediately hits a rolling senton splash that drives the wind out of Vander again. Eric registers no emotion on his face and pulls Vander to his feet again and whips him HARD into the corner, Vander slams into the corner sternum first and staggers backward, Eric connects with a super kick to the back of the head that sends him out of the ring to the floor. Vander is clearly having trouble getting his breath, and the referee may have to consider stopping this one. Eric leaves the ring and slams Vander back first into the ring post. The Amnesiac and Tyson Kincaid distract the referee and Eric rummages under the ring and comes up with his sledgehammer. Eric waits until Vander struggles to his feet, when he turns to Eric, Eric catches him with a shot right to the ribs. Vander sinks to his knees, and Eric finishes him off with a shot to the skull that sends Vander to the floor. The camera pans around and we see Vander has been busted open and is having even more trouble breathing. Eric rolls Vander into the ring and sets him on the top rope, and climbs up for a superplex. Eric lands the move, slamming Vander into the mat, as soon as Vander hits he coughs up a glob of blood. Eric goes for the pin, but pulls Vander up at two. It is clear that he has no intention of pinning him, only punishing him more. Just as Eric pulls a barely conscious Vander to his feet for another move, Concrete TG, Carl From Fresno and Bunny run to the ring and attack the two members of Revolution XXX outside the ring. Eric immediately lets Vander go and joins the fight on the outside. They battle back up the ramp and the referee checks on Vander and makes the dreaded X sign, but by this point, the fight is out of control and it is clear the match cannot resume, so the referee throws the match out.
WINNER in 3:18 – No Contest
STANK vs. CHRIS COLE
“Master of Puppets” blasts through the arena as Chris Cole makes his way to the ring, taunting fans and generally being an asshole before he climbs in the ring. Nonpoint’s “Skin” fires up and the former Champ Stank appears at the top of the ramp and starts taunting immediately. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll actually get a match tonight! Stank gets into the ring and gets right in Cole’s face. That’s good enough for Referee Davis Hightower, who calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
SLAP OF DISRESPECT from Cole to Stank to start out. That’s probably a bad idea. Cole gets SPEARED into the turnbuckle, and then receives some ROUGH TURNBUCKLE TREATMENT! Stank looks to put this one away early, and lifts Cole up for a Stank-U…but Cole REVERSES INTO AN INVERTED DDT! Cole covers, and that gets 2. Cole is VERY pleased with himself. He hits is knees and just starts pummeling Stank with Right Hands. He hefts a woozy Stank to his feet and whips him into the ropes. RUNNING CLOTHESLINE from Cole. Cover gets a LONG 2. Cole pulls Stank up again. He’s looking for the Headliner! He tries to pick up the Super Heavyweight, but Stank is able to reverse into a HUGE Back Body Drop.
Hightower starts a count, but Cole is up by 4, and already on the attack again. Stank is on his feet, but Cole is on him and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Cole tells the crowd they’re number one, and locks on his TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! They’re in the middle of the ring, and Stank is in BIG TROUBLE! 30 seconds pass, 45, and Stank looks VERY close to tapping out; but with one last burst of strength he manages to thrust Cole into the ropes. Cole immediately attacks but Stank catches him, and goes for the STANKBOMB trio! He lands it, and this one has GOT to be over…1, 2, thre…NO! Cole somehow kicked out of that. Suddenly, from the crowd, there are 4, no 5 people flooding the ring! One takes out Hightower, and the rest go right after Stank! It’s AA, Eric O’Mac, Dead, Tyson and THE Amnesiac! Soon, Chris Cole comes to and joins in on the 6-on-1 beatdown.
The crowd explodes as they see it won’t be 6-on-1 for long. Outback Jack, Spin ‘Freakin’ Hansen, DH Magnusson, Seamus McNasty and Bunny come in to even the odds. This draws out Moosehead Jack, Poe, FFMIII, Ryan Hardcore, Donovan Viper and Tytan and LD Williams to gain the advantage. “Ladies and Gentlemen” comes over the PA, and it’s RUN DEA! Davin Moreland, Alexander Darling, Phantos, Lucios, and Carl From Fresno! Eventually, the rest of the locker room empties, and we have a sick Pier-3898754984375 in the ring. It spills a bit to the outside, and the camera focuses on Davin Moreland, who has apparently spotted Chris Cole. He forces Cole to the top turnbuckle…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE FLOOR! Davin stands over him to talk trash for a bit, and someone runs into him from behind. He turns around and sees LD Williams. Moreland hesitates for a second, but LD does not. KICK-WHAM-NO! LD had Davin set up for the DDT but the Indie Security guys, the real cops, the refs, the fans, EVERYONE is getting involved, and NOTHING is stopping this fight. The swarm of humanity slams into Williams and Davin gets free. Even Kevin Nash throws a chair from behind the announce table (and promptly pops a Quad in the process). They just continue to brawl all the way up until the commercial.
WINNER in 6:36…NO CONTEST!
WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM vs. CARL FROM FRESNO & BUNNY
Ryan Hardcore starts things off against Carl from Fresno. The two lock-up and Carl shoves Ryan toward a neutral corner. Ryan slams hard into the turnbuckle, but is able to escape out of the corner before Carl can inflict any significant damage. Hardcore delivers a couple of elbows to the back of Carl's head and then drops him with a neck breaker. Ryan tags in MacCappington, who goes to work on the downed Mr. from Fresno. After a few vicious rights and lefts, MacCappington picks up Carl and whips him into the ropes. Carl comes bouncing back and is leveled with a clothesline. FF goes for the cover. One...Two..Carl kicks out. MacCappington picks Carl up again and once more whips him in the ropes. MacCappington attempts another clothesline, but this time Carl has the presence of mind to duck it and immediately tags in Bunny. Bunny springs off the ropes and connects with a dropkick that staggers the big man. Bunny pops up to his feet and attempts a cross body, but somehow MacCappington is able to hold his ground and catches Bunny. Fonzie tosses Bunny over his head, but amazingly Bunny twists in the air and lands on his feet. MacCappington turns around and walks right into a flipping heel kick. MacCappington stumbles back into his own corner and Hardcore tags himself in. Ryan is able to connect with a forearm shot to Bunny's face that stops him in his tracks for a moment and allows Ryan to send Bunny toward the ropes. Bunny bounces back and slides through Hardcore's legs. Bunny hops to his feet and tags Carl back into. Hardcore turns around a split-second too late and is dropped by a clothesline from Carl. Cover. One...Two...Hardcore kicks out. Hardcore gets back to his feet and the two begin to slug it out in the middle of the ring. Carl gains the upper hand and backs Ryan into the ropes. Carl launches a massive haymaker, but Hardcore powders out of the ring to collect himself. MacCappington joins him on the floor as the try to get back on the same page. They seem to be devising a plan, but at the same time Bunny has entered the ring. Bunny runs across the ring and dives over the top rope towards the Fag Team. Apparently MacCappington and Hardcore were paying more attention than it seemed, and they both move out of the way in time. Bunny lands awkwardly on the guardrail and it looks like he's out cold, at least for the time-being. The Fag Team turn their heads toward Carl and both smile. Hardcore jumps back into the ring and immediately assaults Carl. I mean, he's just laying into him. Carl seems taken aback and is unable to defend himself. Ryan whips Carl into the corner and then tags in MacCappington. Both men pummel Carl in the corner until the referee forces Hardcore back to the apron. FF continues the beating by stomping on the head and chest of Carl. FF then tags Hardcore back in and they again both beat on Carl until the ref forces MacCappington back to the apron. They continue to do this over and over, giving Carl no chance to get out of the corner. Bunny is still half-dead on the outside, so Carl is helpless in the ring. The referee is fed up with this clear disregard of the rules, as both Fag Team members are staying in the ring after the tag for much too long. After numerous warnings, the referee is about to disqualify the team, but before he can ALL of Team Rick comes charging down the ramp and floods the ring. Hardcore and MacCappington fight the first few men that get in the ring, but then decide to high-tail it out of Dodge. The referee is waving his arms. Due to a blatant disregard of the rules by both teams, this match has been waived off.
WINNER - NO CONTEST in 9:03
OUTBACK JACK vs. TYTAN – Falls Count Anywhere
Tytan enters the arena first, accompanied by Mr. Steel, Dr. Podvod, and some members of Ultimo security. He strides down the aisle, radiating anger and confidence. Tytan enters the ring alone, and paces it like a caged animal as he waits for his opponent. Outback Jack, the beer in his hand indicating that it is OBJ, makes his way down the aisle with Wally B King. Jack pauses at ringside and chugs his beer before climbing onto the apron. Tytan attacks as soon as OBJ steps into the ring, driving a knee into his face and tangling him in the ropes. Referee Junior hale calls for the bell as Tytan hits a series of blistering chops. OBJ manages to untangle himself and cover up, but Tytan is relentless, hanging him up for a long delayed vertical suplex before driving him to the mat. Tytan slings OBJ to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Jack ducks. He hits the opposite rope, but does a face plant as Podvod trips him. Tytan comes off the ropes and drives an elbow into the back of Jack’s head. He makes a quick cover for a one count. As Tytan continues his attack, Wally circles the ring and confronts Podvod, who is quickly joined by Steel and his security. Wally looks concerned for a moment, but suddenly smiles as a large shadow looms behind Podvod & Steel. L.D. Williams' mother steps over the railing out of the crowd, and Steel and Podvod high tail it to the back as the security attempt (and fail) to slow Wally and his companion down. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Tytan plants OBJ with a bodyslam and stomps on him before scraping him up and running him face-first into the turnbuckle. OBJ blocks the move and reverses it, slamming Tytan’s head into the turnbuckle until the crowd loses count. Tytan stumbles back and OBJ sweeps his legs, toppling Tytan into the ropes. OBJ delivers some solid kicks, then steps onto the apron and chokes Tytan with the ropes before dropping to the floor and dragging him to the outside. OBJ whips Tytan into the railing and hits him with a shoulder block. He tries another whip but Tytan holds onto the railing, pulling OBJ back and belly-to-belly suplexing him into the crowd. Tytan climbs onto the railing and leaps off with a stomp, but OBJ rolls out of the way. OBJ rolls to his feet and catches Tytan with a fist to the midsection. He tries for a DDT, but Tytan blocks, so OBJ pummels him to the floor. An elderly fan offers OBJ a beer, and he chugs it happily. The fan's eyes go wide and OBJ turns around just as Tytan aims a vicious kick at his head. OBJ drops out of the way and Tytan stops just short of hitting the fan, but then he shrugs and knocks him over anyway. OBJ glares up at Tytan, and the light drains from his eyes. Apparently, Jack of the Hinterlands has joined the party. Jack roars to his feet and spears Tytan, driving him into the railing. He pummels him until his face is a bloody mess, then grabs the fallen fan's cane and uses it to choke him until Tytan delivers a swift kick to the nether regions and crawls back over the railing. Jack leans on the railing as he waits for the world to stop spinning, and Tytan slams his face into it, drawing blood. Tytan drags Jack over the railing and covers, but only gets two. Tytan pulls Jack to his feet runs his head into the ring post. Instead of collapsing, Jack smiles. Tytan tries it again, and Jack starts laughing. Tytan tries a third time and Jack blocks and drives Tytan’s head into the steel. Tytan stumbles back and Jack turns toward the crowd. The elderly fan, having regained his feet, tosses Jack his cane. Jack fields it one-handed and swings around, clubbing Tytan across the back. He continues the beating as Tytan stumbles around the ring. When they complete a full circuit, Jack uses the cane to hit the Boomerang and tosses it back to the fan. He covers, but Tytan just manages to roll a shoulder in time. Both men get to their feet and start throwing punches. As they brawl up the aisle, Tytan gets the advantage. He sends Jack hard into the railing and goes for a big boot, but Jack moves and he crotches himself on the railing. Jack moves in and sets Tytan up for a pile driver, but before he can lift him gets pasted by a chair shot from Eric O’ Mac. Eric puts the boots to Jack and is soon joined by Tytan, until Stank bursts through the curtain with Tyson Kincaid on his back and dragging THE Amnesiac. The Midnight Sons aren’t far behind, and Spin pries Tyson off of Stank as D.H. Magnusson goes after Eric. D&D gain the advantage until the World’s Greatest Fag Team (seriously, can we change that?) and AA come out to tip the balance. Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling lead Run DEA to the rescue, but Phantos and Lucios are quickly sidelined by IHOP. As the entryway and aisle fill up with combatants, Junior sighs and shakes his head. He shrugs and calls for the bell.
WINNER - NO CONTEST, in 14:47.
DAVIN MORELAND vs. POE
Poe’s at the top of the ramp first with Selena as “For Whom the Bell Tolls” starts up. He now seems to welcome the booing as he makes his way down toward the ring. He climbs in, hands his duster to Selena, nods to Sterling Glaw, and assumes some sort of fighting position, refusing to take his eyes off the entrance. “Pull Me Under” fires up, and Davin Moreland poses at the top of the ramp to boisterous cheers as his pyro goes off. He deliberately makes his way down the ramp, trying to hide a slight limp be hopping around a bit and slapping hands with the fans. He doesn’t double jump into the ring, opting to enter the more traditional way. Poe doesn’t let Davin enter the ring completely and immediately attacks with vicious clubbing blows as Davin is halfway into the ring. Glaw immediately calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Poe presses his advantage, just pummeling Moreland from behind. Finally, Poe tires of that and wraps Davin’s arm in the rope, and locks on a Fujiwara Armbar! Glaw isn’t having this and starts a quick 5 count, which Poe breaks just in time. Glaw steps in with some quality ref work and allows a woozy Moreland to get into the ring. Poe jumps in just as Glaw steps out of the way, but Moreland has the presence of mind to block the punch and return fire with some right hands of his own. Poe is rocked all the way across the ring, and Davin hefts the big man up, and tosses him out of the ring near the announce table.
Davin looks PISSED as he goes after Poe, and goes immediately to attack him, but Poe recovers enough to drill Moreland with elbows.
Russ: This is NOT a Catch-as-catch-can match
The two finally have separation and they stare down; but neither of them see Selena with a chair behind Moreland. Poe charges Moreland, but Moreland ducks just as Selena winds up for a chair shot. WHAM! She NAILS Poe with the chair and is frozen in fear seeing what she’s done to her master. Davin growls evilly and mocks chasing Selena, who runs up the ramp, allowing Davin to do some assaulting. Davin picks up the completely lifeless corpse of Poe and DDTs him on the floor. Moreland checks out the Dominiquan announce table, and starts to do some cleaning. Just as Davin picks up Poe to do something malicious to him, the bell rings! Glaw has seen enough and has
completed a 10 count!
WINNER in 2:48 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT…NO CONTEST!
This doesn’t phase Davin a bit as he sets up Poe on the announce table…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Both lay motionless as Revolution xXx come flying down the ramp, followed closely by Phantos, Lucios and Seamus McNasty! Pier Six brawl in the ring, as Davin has come to, and has locked on an ANKLE LOCK on Poe! Out of the crowd, Chris Cole and Donovan Viper attack Davin Moreland and break up the hold. As he tries to fight them off two-on-one, the locker rooms empty and there’s like a Pier Fifty brawl going on. The referees do what they can, but it’s not until a full five minutes have passed, and Security (indy guys) as well as actual law enforcement come down to break things up before the crowd gets involved.
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. JUSTIN SANE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match – Winner HAS to Cheat to Win
Justin Sane comes to the ring with Old Glory wrapped around him drawing a nice pop from the crowd. He heads to the ring, then steps on the ropes attached to the flag, falls to the floor and immediately taps to the flag. Somehow escaping the death clutches of the American Flag, Sane backs up against the crowd, where he is immediately grabbed by soldiers and gets body surfed to the front row where he is deposited at ring side. Sane checks himself to make sure all the parts are functioning, then climbs into the ring and somehow manages to make it to the top rope without killing himself and gives the troops a nice salute. The crowd pops for Sane again, and then Attitude Adjuster is announced, and he comes to the ring, also with an American flag. AA makes it to ring side getting a lukewarm pop from the crowd. As goes to climb onto the apron, he steps in some discarded gum on the floor. AA sits on the apron and tries to get the gum off his boots, and the American flag falls to the apron, drawing some boos from the crowd. AA gets to his feet and goes to step into the ring, and steps right on the American flag. The flag sticks to AA’s boot and he walks around the ring trying to get the flag off his boot, all the while the crowd is enraged. Finally AA grabs the flag and pulls it free, then slams the flag to the mat. Now the crowd is about to riot. AA immediately realizes what he has done and tries to throw up a salute to the troops, but at this point it is FAR too late. Justin Sane charges in and catches AA with a drop kick to the back that pops the crowd huge, and may well have saved AA from being murdered. AA staggers into the corner and Justin flies in and monkey flips him out of the corner to the middle of the ring. At this point Sane can do no wrong. Sane waits for AA to get to his feet then grabs him and hits an ACID DROP! AA is in trouble in the middle of the ring. Sane climbs to the top rope and hits a MOMENT OF CLARITY! He covers AA and gets the one, two, WAIT! Sane suddenly remember the rules, a clean pin is a disqualification! So Sane jumps off of AA and looks around the ring, drags AA toward the ropes and tries another cover, this time with his feet on the ropes. AA manages to roll his shoulder just before the referee makes the three count. Sane pulls AA to his feet and grabs him for a whip to the ropes, but AA rakes the eyes and head buts Sane sending him between the ropes to the floor. AA follows him to the outside, making sure to avoid the reach of the Marines in the front row. Distracted by the military, Sane catches AA with a knee to the mid section, then grabs him in a head lock and tries a HIGH RISK HEAD LOCK! But AA shoves him off and Sane slams face first into the guard rail. AA rolls Sane into the ring and makes the cover, hooking the tights because he has to, and gets the one, two, NO! Sane manages to kick out! AA gets to his feet and calls for the CLAW! He waits for Sane to get up then goes to grab him, but Sane slips behind AA and hits a backstabber! Justin bounds off the ropes and hits the SHOOTING SPARK PRESS! Sane looks around and then seems to get an inspiration, he grabs the referee’s belt and pulls it out of his pants, and wraps it around his fist. As AA gets to his feet, he BLASTS AA with the belt! AA falls and Sane covers, one, two, NO! F. Fonzworth MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore charge the ring and break up the pin! The referee is about to call for the bell when Phantos, and Lucios come in to even things up. Sane and AA get to their feet and the melee quickly escalates to include chairs and various things thrown into the ring by the military. The referee has seen enough and calls for the bell.
WINNER – No Contest in 8:53
IHOP vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Phantos and Lucios make their way to ringside first, Phantos high-fiving fans along the way, Lucios staring straight ahead the entire time. The Midnight Sons are announced next. DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen hit the ring and begin to confer with Phantos & Lucios in a corner. IHOP heads to ringside (Champions always go on last) and they stop short of the ring. Suddenly, LJ Bennett appears on the Jumbo-Tron 8000
LJB: Now hold on right there. Our esteemed General Manager booked this match, with the obvious intention of putting the champions at a disadvantage. This simply will not do. I hereby order Referee Creech that if Skurge or SYB are at any time double teamed, the offending parties are to be eliminated from the match immediately.
Phantos, DH, Lucios and Spin all immediately begin arguing with Creech. Mel calls for the bell, and Skurge takes advantage of the confusion and attacks Spin from behind. A flurry of rights and lefts pour onto Hansen’s head. Creech pretty blatantly ignores the action, watching and warning DH & Team Aquafina to stay out of the ring. Skurge suplexes Spin and locks in an abdominal stretch. Tag to SYB and he delivers a vicious kick to Spin’s exposed midsection. SYB peppers Spin with chops, backing Hansen into a corner. SYB tries to monkey flip Hansen, but ends up flat on his back. Hansen drops a big elbow on SYB and begins to stomp SYB from head to toe. Creech gets in between the combatants, forcing Spin to back off. Spin threatens Creech, then hoists SYB onto his shoulders for a vicious power slam. Spin reaches back and tags Lucios. Hansen whips SYB into the ropes, and they deliver a double Big Boot to SYB’s glass jaw. SYB collapses in a heap. Creech immediately calls for a bell. HE ducks between the ropes and yells something at the ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentelmen, Referee Mel Creech has thrown Lucios and Spin Hansen out of this match for an illegal double-team. The match will now be restarted.
Magnusson and Phantos stare at each other incredulously. DH ducks into the ring as his partner and Lucios slowly back up the ramp, screaming at Creech the whole way. Dh picks up the corpse of SYB and hurls it into the ropes. Clothesline. Knee drop. DDT. DH covers for a 2 count. Skurge rushes in and breaks up the pin. Phantos tries to even the score, and Creech blocks him. Skurge tries to pile drive DH, but Mags backdrops him out of the ring. Lucios and Spin rush back down the ramp the second Skurge lands on the arena floor and begin to lay the boots to him. Spin grabs a chair and smashes it across Skurge’s skull. Creech turns around at the sound, sees the beat down in progress, and jumps to the floor to break up the festivities. DH & Phantos join in the melee. SYB is motionless in the ring. Eric O’Mac, Moosehead Jack, and Attitude Adjuster rush to ringside and the fight is on! Alexander Darling, Davin Moreland, Carl from Fresno and Justin Sane come down, followed by The Dead, World’s Greatest Fag Team & Chris Cole. Stank and Outback Jack are on their heels, as the rest of the locker room empties out. Creech backs out of the fray and calls for the bell. OFFICIAL RESULT: NO CONTEST in 3:48
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing we hear is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander Darling takes a step onto the ramp. He doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and ”Princes of the Universe. Alexander Darling makes his way down the ramp slowly, nodding to fans and apparently focusing on the task at hand. Commotion in the crowd starts up, as Moosehead Jack comes FLYING out of the back and delivers a WICKED shot to the back of Darling’s head with a Barbed Wire Bat. Two shots, three shots, and Darling is nearly incapacitated already. Moose smashes Darling’s head off the ramp repeatedly and this is getting ugly. Darling is BUSTED WIDE OPEN! Moose picks up Darling a bit and locks on the JI-ENDO!
Darling is in no condition to retaliate, but Justin Sane comes out of the crowd screaming “BOSSSS!” and dives near Moosehead Jack. This is, apparently, enough to distract Moose; even though Sane missed him by a lot. Moose breaks off the Ji-Endo and starts to beat on Sane. This draws out DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen, and they take over the numbers game, beating on Moose and using some double-team-y type moves. And here comes Revolution xXx; Eric, Tyson and THE Amnesiac! They overpower D&D and start to clear out the area. That is, until Phantos, Lucios, Bunny, Carl From Fresno and Seamus McNasty all come down the ramp. They beat on Revolution xXx for a while, until The Dead, Tytan and the World’s Gayest Fag Team (can someone fix that please) hit the ramp.
Finally, the locker rooms empty and there is just a full-on street fight taking place. Blood is flying, bodies are flying, weapons are flying and now it’s spilling out into the crowd. And to think, people bought a ticket to get their asses kicked. This will be GREAT for PR for the OOWF. Senseless beating after Senseless beating takes place. In the crowd, out of the crowd, wrestlers, non-wresters; it doesn’t matter. There’s fighting everywhere, except for in the ring. Finally, our two principals seem to have come to, and now it’s Darling taking the fight to Moosehead Jack. Darling is landing solid shots to a bloody Moose all the way up the ramp to the stage area. Moose can’t even get his hands up to defend as Darling forces Moose closer and closer to the edge. My God NO! Darling picks Moose up…DARLING DRIVER INTO THE SOUND PIT!
Sparks and Smoke come up with a loud BANG! The fighting stops immediately as the camera quickly cuts to Moose and Darling entangled in sparking wires, neither moving a muscle. Referee Angelo Barros has long since thrown this one out.
YOUR DECISION in 0:00 – NO CONTEST!
LD WILLIAMS vs. CONCRETE TG – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Concrete TG comes the ring first with Alexander Darling and Davin Moreland. They make their way to the ring and Crete slides under the bottom rope and waits in one corner. LD Williams is announced and he comes out with Moosehead Jack and Eric O’Mac. LD climbs between the ropes and hands the belt to the referee and steps to the center of the ring. Crete meets LD in the center of the ring and the two have a good old fashioned stare down of mutual dislike. The referee calls for the bell and the two slowly circle and lock up. Crete snaps LD over with an arm drag, LD immediately springs to his feet. Crete charges, but LD side steps and shoves Crete to the ropes, as Crete rebounds, LD elevates him high in the air, and catches him with a kick to the face as he comes down. LD falls on Crete and makes the cover, but Crete kicks out at one and gets to a vertical base. Crete is still a little rocked, and can’t react fast enough to block a clothesline from LD. LD drops a knee across Crete’s chest and gets another two count, but Crete manages to roll his shoulder just before three. LD pulls Crete up and sends him into the corner, but Crete leaps to the second rope and propels himself backward and catches LD with an elbow to the face. Crete springs off the bottom rope and lands a helicopter leg drop and covers for a one count. Crete waits for LD to get to his feet, then hauls him up for a vertical suplex, then drops him chest first to the mat with a sit out suplex! Crete hooks LD’s shoulder and rolls him over and covers, but once again Williams shows his resiliency and kicks out at two. Crete lets LD get to his feet then whips him to the ropes and catches him in a sleeper. LD struggles and starts to fade a bit, then slips to Crete’s side and hits a belly to back suplex! Both men are down and the referee starts the ten count of doom. Crete is on his hands and knees trying to get up, LD pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. LD charges across the ring and tries a kick to Crete’s jaw, but Crete moves and sweeps LD’s leg sending him to the mat. Crete grabs LD’s legs and locks him in a figure four! LD fights the pain and refuses to quit, working his way to the ropes and forcing the break. As LD gets to his feet, Crete connects with a wicked kick to the side of LD’s head that sends him back to the mat. Crete scales the ropes, as he gets to the top, Moosehead Jack moves toward that corner distracting Crete just long enough for LD to get to his feet and charge to the corner knocking Crete’s feet from beneath him crotching him on the top. LD climbs to the top rope and hooks Crete and hits a top rope butterfly suplex! LD drives Crete to the mat, then hooks him and makes the cover, from the outside Alexander Darling reaches in and grabs Crete’s foot and places it on the bottom rope. The referee stops just before the three count as he sees Crete’s foot on the rope. This brings Eric and Moose around the ring and they attack Davin and Darling and once again a brawl erupts outside the ring. LD Williams leaves the ring and grabs Davin Moreland and spins him around and catches him with a kick to the mid section, then PLANTS him on the floor with a DDT. Crete gets to his feet and turns around and gets POPPED in the mouth with X Marks the Spot from The Amnesiac and Tyson Kincaid. They fall on Crete and hammer him with punches and kicks. On the outside DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen run to ringside, Magnusson catches LD with a clothesline that sends him sprawling. Inside the ring, Outback Jack and Phantos and Lucios make the save on Crete. Soon the rest of the locker rooms empty and the brawl spills into the ring, around ringside and into the crowd where fans run for their lives as wrestlers throw chairs at one another and attempt murder. Finally, as seems to be the pattern tonight, the referee has had enough, this match gets thrown out.
WINNER – No Contest in 15:15
DAVIN MORELAND vs. F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON - #1 Contenders Match
Schiavone: And now, ONLY for the West Coast Feed, we have what is probably going to be the GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME! It’s F. Fonzworth MacCappington III challenging Davin Moreland for his #1 Contendership to the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship! This match came about as a result of rumored threatened sexual assault possibly in a chat room, allegedly. Sources say. Details are sketchy, but regardless, we’re in for one of the BEST MATCHES EVER! Let’s head to the ring!
“Laid to Rest” by Lamb of God fires up and F. Fonzworth MacCappington makes his way down the ramp with someone who may or may not be his butler Lance. I think the crowd is booing, but it’s tough to be sure since there’s only like 16 people left in the arena after everyone went home following the Main Event. FFMIII gets in the ring with Junior Hale, who just looks bored. Also looking bored is Davin Moreland as “Pull Me Under” starts up. He’s still bleeding and obviously hurting from earlier in the night, and is carrying his rebar it appears. He gets into the ring and looks at Hale. Hale kind of shakes his head with a grin and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
MacCappington looks to be taking this very seriously as he appears focused. Davin gets Hale’s attention and points out to the crowd. FFMIII rushes Moreland, but Moreland catches him out of the corner of his eye and CRACKS FFMIII in the temple with his Trusty Rebar! Hale turns around to see FFMIII laying on the mat. Davin shrugs and smiles. He picks up MacCappington and tosses him to the outside. Moreland implores Hale to start counting, and he complies. Davin rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp; not looking back even after Hale counts 10 and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 1:18 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT…NO DECISION!
Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Operation Onslaught: Red, White & Bruised PPV, Live July 27th from Camp Anaconda. Iraq! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! July 30th, from Luxor, Egypt!
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Live! From Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan
APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE vs. ZABI KHAN
Zabi Khan comes out first. He is the Afghanistan Wrestling Association light heavyweight champion and one of the premier high flyers in the world. He sprints to the ring and slides under the ropes and gets a nice pop from the crowd. His opponent, Apocalyptic Existence is making his return to the OOWF after a long hiatus. He comes to the ring with a stoic look on his face being led by his new manager Chad Patton. AE steps between the ropes and immediately goes after Khan, catching him with shot to the back of the head beating him to the mat. AE pulls Khan to his feet and whips him to the ropes and follows him, but Khan slides under the bottom rope, then springs to the apron, onto the top rope and catches a charging AE with a perfect hurracarana! The crowd pops nicely for that one. Khan waits for AE to get to his feet, then catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that sends him back into the corner. Khan charges in and goes for the monkey flip, but AE shoves him off. Kahn does a back roll and gets right to his feet, but AE explodes out of the corner and catches him with a clothesline. Khan sells it like a champ doing a complete 360 before hitting the mat. AE pulls Khan to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw of his own. On the outside Patton encourages AE and tells him to end the high flyer. AE pulls Khan to his feet and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head a moment too soon and Khan leaps over him, on the second rebound, Khan leaps at AE, but AE catches him and KILLS him with a belly to belly suplex! Khan rolls out of the ring to the floor. AE Gets to his feet and soaks in the boos of the crowd for a moment, Khan regains his composure pretty well, hops on the apron and spring boards into the ring, AE sees him coming and side steps and Khan crashes and burns. AE hits a standing double stomp to the gut, driving all the air out of Khan. AE lets Khan struggle to his feet, then hits the ropes and snaps him back to the mat with a neck breaker. AS makes the cocky one boot cover, and Khan kicks out. Finally it appears that AE has had enough, he pulls Khan to his feet and hits the VERTEBREAKER! Khan is done. AE hooks his leg and gets the academic one, two, three.
WINNER in 4:21 – Apocalyptic Existence
TYSON KINCAID & THE AMNESIAC vs. CAPE TOWN CANNIBALS
Kincaid and ROH have decided to start for their respective teams, and as each man makes his way to the center of the ring, Kincaid extends his hand in a rare show of sportsmanship. TNA looks to the crowd -who boo loudly. Of course the crowd would be booing these four anyway, so what does that proof? After a few tenuous attempts, ROH extends his hand hand...And thumbs Kincaid in the eye! Kincaid staggers back looking to clear his vision, as TNA and WWE play up the "ring savvy" of ROH's move. He turns back around, only to eat 3 heavy right hands in quick succession for a VERY irate Kincaid! The third punch floors TNA, who wisely takes the opportunity to roll out of the ring. Barros starts the count, and gets to 8 before TNA slides back in, still rubbing his jaw.
Collar and elbow tie-up, and Kincaid quickly powers him back into the corner. Barros calls for a clean break, and Kincaid responds with a thunderous slap across the face of the faux-Samoan. Back to the center of the ring, back to the collar and elbow tie-up, and this time TNA pulls in a quick side head, screaming "TAAAAAP"! at Kincaid. Kincaid fires him off, and floors him on the way back with a high shoulder tackle. TNA quickly back to his feet, hits the ropes...same result. Kincaid is audibly LAUGHING at his opponent now, and TNA hops back up, hits the rope...and slides between The Riot Act's legs, coming up with a big standing dropkick! And a second! Kincaid is on spaghetti legs as ROH tags WWE, who comes into the ring via a slingshot lariat! Kincaid is down, STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! WWE hooks the leg:
1...
2...
Kincaid rolls a shoulder at two and a half, to which WWE responds with a flurry of punches to the head of the downed Kincaid. Pickup by WWE, who fires Kincaid into the ropes, but telegraphs a backdrop, allowing Kincaid to pull up short, and deliver a clubbing double axe handle. WWE grabs at his back, and Kincaid follows up with a dangerous looking overhead release wheelbarrow suplex! Kincaid drags WWE over to his corner and makes the tag, as THE Amnesiac comes in with slingshot leg drop.
THE Amnesiac firmly in control, as he looks to the crowd, fired up, and locks in a devastating...chin lock.
Really? A chin lock? THE Amnesiac thrashes WWE's head around a bit, making it look like the most vicious move ever, and Barros checks the arm:
1...
2...
WWE forces his hand up at the last second, and the crowd goes BANANA~! THE Amnesiac looks shocked. TNA looks confused. WWE looks to be getting to his feet, still in the chin lock, and we can finally see what the crowd was so wild about as CONCRETE TG and LADDER hit the ringside area! CTG flies down the ramp, flinging ladder into the ring and pulling Kincaid off the apron as he slides in. THE Amnesiac barely avoids ladder by using WWE as a shield, but he can't avoid the rain of lefts and rights from Concrete! TNA hops in the ring, and eats a Mafia Kick from the superhero for his efforts! THE Amnesiac takes a powder as Concrete grabs ladder back up, swinging it wildly around the ring! Barros calls for the bell, and it looks like this one didn't have a chance, as Concrete TG and ladder have cleaned house!
WINNER - NO DECISION in 7:06 minutes.
SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. BLITZ vs. KNIFE
Angelo Barros is YOUR Referee!
Seamus and Knife get nose to nose to start. The two have an exchange, where Seamus' face slowly darkens from red to fuchsia to deep purple. Poor Blitz is jumping up and down beside them trying to get their attention, but Knife ignores him. Blitz pushes at Seamus' arm - big mistake as he's nearly punched clean out of the ring by Seamus! Knife actually protests this course of action but Seamus refuses to apologize. Knife frowns, but Seamus doesn't just attack, so they lock up. Seamus with the power advantage as he pushes Knife to a corner. Barros calls for a break and gets it - but Blitz is back in the ring and jumping on Seamus' back, beating him about the head and neck. Seamus throws Blitz to the mat and stomps him mercilessly, Knife protesting all the more. Knife finally gives up reasoning with Seamus and shoves him away from Blitz. Knife helps Blitz to his feet but gets slapped for his efforts. Knife is slowly losing his patience with both grapplers as Seamus stomps back over and knocks their heads together. He shoves Knife aside and throws Blitz in the corner, stunning him with a shoulder block. Blitz crumples to the mat. Seamus stands over him a moment, grinning, before Knife ambushes him and drives him to his knees. Seamus is stunned for the moment as Knife pounds away, and Blitz still partially slumped on the ropes, looking to the ramp.....?
RUN IN is pointing to the ring at Blitz and sure enough The Dead charges down! Run In is cheering and dancing and hi-fiving Theme Music as Dead slides into the ring and helps Knife keep the big man down! Blitz gets up off the ropes and joins in the beat down. Knife asks Dead and Blitz to stand Seamus up so that he can finish him off when the ring floods with PIER SIX! Dead, Blitz and Knife are mowed down! But Run In and Theme Music are confused, as is Schmoz, who walks through the curtain to watch in amazement. Schmoz gets his wits about him and opens the curtain, ordering wrestlers to hit the ring two or three at a time. Barros tries to stop the rush of wrestlers but gets run over by Sell - and they both hit the ground unconscious.
WINNERS - NO CONTEST at 6:24.
The rest of the referee corps come out to restore order as Pier Six help Seamus up. They remove their motorcycle helmets to reveal that GAELIC STORM started the melee. They celebrate before escalating the melee even further.
THE DEAD vs. ZK DEBEERS
Some chain wrestling to start things off, and DeBeers gains the upper hand via some tights pulling and a headlock takedown. Dead fights back and sends him to the ropes, and a shoulder block draws a stalemate. A second one does the same. A third try... but Dead decks him with a left hand instead. Dead pounds him to the corner and monkey flips him out. Elbow drops follow until ZKD rolls out of the ring to regroup. Dead follows out, but DeBeers suckers him in and pops him with a back elbow. To the stairs we go, and DeBeers drops Dead on the dislodged steps. Back in, and a fist drop gets two. DeBeers works a modified cobra clutch on the mat, and Dead makes the ropes to break. Clean break, but DeBeers yanks Dead from the ropes and goes to reapply the hold. Dead counters however with a wristlock into a hammerlock on the mat, but ZKD runs to the corner and lets Dead's momentum take him to the turnbuckle. Belly to back suplex gets a two count. Standing neck breaker also gets two. ZKD to the second rope, but Dead gets his boot up, and DeBeers sells it with the "timberrrrrrrrr" selljob. Double count here, and both guys are up at 7. Wild slugout, and Dead gets the upper hand, sending DeBeers thru the ropes and tangled up on the apron. Dead opens up on him with punches as the ref tries a break, but Dead shoves him aside. The ref tries again... but before the ref can pry Dead off DeBeers, the MIDNIGHT SONS storm the ring and rip Dead off. They set him up for High Times, but DONOVAN VIPER and ATTITUDE ADJUSTER run in to break that up... and we have a brawl. Viper blindsides Spin from behind and sends him to the floor, while Magnusson has enough presence of mind to turn and catch AA a step before he gets there. Spin climbs back in, but is grabbed by DeBeers... and Hansen decks him. CARL FROM FRESNO and OUTBACK JACK are out, only to have the WORLD'S GREATEST FAG TEAM right behind them!! It's a pier nine brawl!! ALEXANDER DARLING rushes in to even the sides at five apiece, and he sends AA flying from the ring. AA tries to get back in, but DeBeers tries to pull himself up using AA's leg, and Capps drills him!! WGFT and the Sons scatter out to the floor and brawl in the crowd, and the usual gang of idiots waltzes down to try and get some order... to no avail. The brawl completely spills to the floor... with Viper getting a STIFF kick in to OBJ's face in the melee, and after a couple of minutes of insanity, everybody ultimately brawls to the back.
WINNER in 9:34: NO CONTEST.
ERIC O’MAC vs. MARK VANDER
Mark Vander comes to the ring and waits in the corner while Eric O’Mac is announced. Ice-T’s “The Tower” blares across the arena and Eric comes out from the back with the rest of Revolution XXX and a bit of a crazed look in his eyes. He slowly walks to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Vander. Eric slides under the bottom ropes and immediately charges at Vander, catching him with a forearm to the back of the head. Vander slumps and Eric throws him into the corner and beats him mercilessly with rights and lefts to the face. The referee steps in and demands a break, Eric gives it, but just long enough to avoid being disqualified. He grabs Vander by the throat and chokes him in the corner, then pulls Vander to his feet and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Vander takes a few swipes at Eric, but Eric is in a rage, he catches Vander with a spinning kick to the mouth that snaps his head back dangerously. Vander is dazed, so Eric throws him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him outside and slams him face first into the floor, then pulls him to his feet, scoops him up and drives him to the concrete. Eric quickly hops onto the apron and climbs the corner and hits a MAC ATTACK onto the floor! Eric gets to his feet and just stares down at Vander with a disgusted look on his face. Vander writhes in pain on the floor, coughing up blood, he could have broken ribs after that. Eric finally snaps out of it and rolls Vander back into the ring where he immediately hits a rolling senton splash that drives the wind out of Vander again. Eric registers no emotion on his face and pulls Vander to his feet again and whips him HARD into the corner, Vander slams into the corner sternum first and staggers backward, Eric connects with a super kick to the back of the head that sends him out of the ring to the floor. Vander is clearly having trouble getting his breath, and the referee may have to consider stopping this one. Eric leaves the ring and slams Vander back first into the ring post. The Amnesiac and Tyson Kincaid distract the referee and Eric rummages under the ring and comes up with his sledgehammer. Eric waits until Vander struggles to his feet, when he turns to Eric, Eric catches him with a shot right to the ribs. Vander sinks to his knees, and Eric finishes him off with a shot to the skull that sends Vander to the floor. The camera pans around and we see Vander has been busted open and is having even more trouble breathing. Eric rolls Vander into the ring and sets him on the top rope, and climbs up for a superplex. Eric lands the move, slamming Vander into the mat, as soon as Vander hits he coughs up a glob of blood. Eric goes for the pin, but pulls Vander up at two. It is clear that he has no intention of pinning him, only punishing him more. Just as Eric pulls a barely conscious Vander to his feet for another move, Concrete TG, Carl From Fresno and Bunny run to the ring and attack the two members of Revolution XXX outside the ring. Eric immediately lets Vander go and joins the fight on the outside. They battle back up the ramp and the referee checks on Vander and makes the dreaded X sign, but by this point, the fight is out of control and it is clear the match cannot resume, so the referee throws the match out.
WINNER in 3:18 – No Contest
STANK vs. CHRIS COLE
“Master of Puppets” blasts through the arena as Chris Cole makes his way to the ring, taunting fans and generally being an asshole before he climbs in the ring. Nonpoint’s “Skin” fires up and the former Champ Stank appears at the top of the ramp and starts taunting immediately. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll actually get a match tonight! Stank gets into the ring and gets right in Cole’s face. That’s good enough for Referee Davis Hightower, who calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
SLAP OF DISRESPECT from Cole to Stank to start out. That’s probably a bad idea. Cole gets SPEARED into the turnbuckle, and then receives some ROUGH TURNBUCKLE TREATMENT! Stank looks to put this one away early, and lifts Cole up for a Stank-U…but Cole REVERSES INTO AN INVERTED DDT! Cole covers, and that gets 2. Cole is VERY pleased with himself. He hits is knees and just starts pummeling Stank with Right Hands. He hefts a woozy Stank to his feet and whips him into the ropes. RUNNING CLOTHESLINE from Cole. Cover gets a LONG 2. Cole pulls Stank up again. He’s looking for the Headliner! He tries to pick up the Super Heavyweight, but Stank is able to reverse into a HUGE Back Body Drop.
Hightower starts a count, but Cole is up by 4, and already on the attack again. Stank is on his feet, but Cole is on him and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Cole tells the crowd they’re number one, and locks on his TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! They’re in the middle of the ring, and Stank is in BIG TROUBLE! 30 seconds pass, 45, and Stank looks VERY close to tapping out; but with one last burst of strength he manages to thrust Cole into the ropes. Cole immediately attacks but Stank catches him, and goes for the STANKBOMB trio! He lands it, and this one has GOT to be over…1, 2, thre…NO! Cole somehow kicked out of that. Suddenly, from the crowd, there are 4, no 5 people flooding the ring! One takes out Hightower, and the rest go right after Stank! It’s AA, Eric O’Mac, Dead, Tyson and THE Amnesiac! Soon, Chris Cole comes to and joins in on the 6-on-1 beatdown.
The crowd explodes as they see it won’t be 6-on-1 for long. Outback Jack, Spin ‘Freakin’ Hansen, DH Magnusson, Seamus McNasty and Bunny come in to even the odds. This draws out Moosehead Jack, Poe, FFMIII, Ryan Hardcore, Donovan Viper and Tytan and LD Williams to gain the advantage. “Ladies and Gentlemen” comes over the PA, and it’s RUN DEA! Davin Moreland, Alexander Darling, Phantos, Lucios, and Carl From Fresno! Eventually, the rest of the locker room empties, and we have a sick Pier-3898754984375 in the ring. It spills a bit to the outside, and the camera focuses on Davin Moreland, who has apparently spotted Chris Cole. He forces Cole to the top turnbuckle…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE FLOOR! Davin stands over him to talk trash for a bit, and someone runs into him from behind. He turns around and sees LD Williams. Moreland hesitates for a second, but LD does not. KICK-WHAM-NO! LD had Davin set up for the DDT but the Indie Security guys, the real cops, the refs, the fans, EVERYONE is getting involved, and NOTHING is stopping this fight. The swarm of humanity slams into Williams and Davin gets free. Even Kevin Nash throws a chair from behind the announce table (and promptly pops a Quad in the process). They just continue to brawl all the way up until the commercial.
WINNER in 6:36…NO CONTEST!
WORLDS GREATEST FAG TEAM vs. CARL FROM FRESNO & BUNNY
Ryan Hardcore starts things off against Carl from Fresno. The two lock-up and Carl shoves Ryan toward a neutral corner. Ryan slams hard into the turnbuckle, but is able to escape out of the corner before Carl can inflict any significant damage. Hardcore delivers a couple of elbows to the back of Carl's head and then drops him with a neck breaker. Ryan tags in MacCappington, who goes to work on the downed Mr. from Fresno. After a few vicious rights and lefts, MacCappington picks up Carl and whips him into the ropes. Carl comes bouncing back and is leveled with a clothesline. FF goes for the cover. One...Two..Carl kicks out. MacCappington picks Carl up again and once more whips him in the ropes. MacCappington attempts another clothesline, but this time Carl has the presence of mind to duck it and immediately tags in Bunny. Bunny springs off the ropes and connects with a dropkick that staggers the big man. Bunny pops up to his feet and attempts a cross body, but somehow MacCappington is able to hold his ground and catches Bunny. Fonzie tosses Bunny over his head, but amazingly Bunny twists in the air and lands on his feet. MacCappington turns around and walks right into a flipping heel kick. MacCappington stumbles back into his own corner and Hardcore tags himself in. Ryan is able to connect with a forearm shot to Bunny's face that stops him in his tracks for a moment and allows Ryan to send Bunny toward the ropes. Bunny bounces back and slides through Hardcore's legs. Bunny hops to his feet and tags Carl back into. Hardcore turns around a split-second too late and is dropped by a clothesline from Carl. Cover. One...Two...Hardcore kicks out. Hardcore gets back to his feet and the two begin to slug it out in the middle of the ring. Carl gains the upper hand and backs Ryan into the ropes. Carl launches a massive haymaker, but Hardcore powders out of the ring to collect himself. MacCappington joins him on the floor as the try to get back on the same page. They seem to be devising a plan, but at the same time Bunny has entered the ring. Bunny runs across the ring and dives over the top rope towards the Fag Team. Apparently MacCappington and Hardcore were paying more attention than it seemed, and they both move out of the way in time. Bunny lands awkwardly on the guardrail and it looks like he's out cold, at least for the time-being. The Fag Team turn their heads toward Carl and both smile. Hardcore jumps back into the ring and immediately assaults Carl. I mean, he's just laying into him. Carl seems taken aback and is unable to defend himself. Ryan whips Carl into the corner and then tags in MacCappington. Both men pummel Carl in the corner until the referee forces Hardcore back to the apron. FF continues the beating by stomping on the head and chest of Carl. FF then tags Hardcore back in and they again both beat on Carl until the ref forces MacCappington back to the apron. They continue to do this over and over, giving Carl no chance to get out of the corner. Bunny is still half-dead on the outside, so Carl is helpless in the ring. The referee is fed up with this clear disregard of the rules, as both Fag Team members are staying in the ring after the tag for much too long. After numerous warnings, the referee is about to disqualify the team, but before he can ALL of Team Rick comes charging down the ramp and floods the ring. Hardcore and MacCappington fight the first few men that get in the ring, but then decide to high-tail it out of Dodge. The referee is waving his arms. Due to a blatant disregard of the rules by both teams, this match has been waived off.
WINNER - NO CONTEST in 9:03
OUTBACK JACK vs. TYTAN – Falls Count Anywhere
Tytan enters the arena first, accompanied by Mr. Steel, Dr. Podvod, and some members of Ultimo security. He strides down the aisle, radiating anger and confidence. Tytan enters the ring alone, and paces it like a caged animal as he waits for his opponent. Outback Jack, the beer in his hand indicating that it is OBJ, makes his way down the aisle with Wally B King. Jack pauses at ringside and chugs his beer before climbing onto the apron. Tytan attacks as soon as OBJ steps into the ring, driving a knee into his face and tangling him in the ropes. Referee Junior hale calls for the bell as Tytan hits a series of blistering chops. OBJ manages to untangle himself and cover up, but Tytan is relentless, hanging him up for a long delayed vertical suplex before driving him to the mat. Tytan slings OBJ to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Jack ducks. He hits the opposite rope, but does a face plant as Podvod trips him. Tytan comes off the ropes and drives an elbow into the back of Jack’s head. He makes a quick cover for a one count. As Tytan continues his attack, Wally circles the ring and confronts Podvod, who is quickly joined by Steel and his security. Wally looks concerned for a moment, but suddenly smiles as a large shadow looms behind Podvod & Steel. L.D. Williams' mother steps over the railing out of the crowd, and Steel and Podvod high tail it to the back as the security attempt (and fail) to slow Wally and his companion down. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Tytan plants OBJ with a bodyslam and stomps on him before scraping him up and running him face-first into the turnbuckle. OBJ blocks the move and reverses it, slamming Tytan’s head into the turnbuckle until the crowd loses count. Tytan stumbles back and OBJ sweeps his legs, toppling Tytan into the ropes. OBJ delivers some solid kicks, then steps onto the apron and chokes Tytan with the ropes before dropping to the floor and dragging him to the outside. OBJ whips Tytan into the railing and hits him with a shoulder block. He tries another whip but Tytan holds onto the railing, pulling OBJ back and belly-to-belly suplexing him into the crowd. Tytan climbs onto the railing and leaps off with a stomp, but OBJ rolls out of the way. OBJ rolls to his feet and catches Tytan with a fist to the midsection. He tries for a DDT, but Tytan blocks, so OBJ pummels him to the floor. An elderly fan offers OBJ a beer, and he chugs it happily. The fan's eyes go wide and OBJ turns around just as Tytan aims a vicious kick at his head. OBJ drops out of the way and Tytan stops just short of hitting the fan, but then he shrugs and knocks him over anyway. OBJ glares up at Tytan, and the light drains from his eyes. Apparently, Jack of the Hinterlands has joined the party. Jack roars to his feet and spears Tytan, driving him into the railing. He pummels him until his face is a bloody mess, then grabs the fallen fan's cane and uses it to choke him until Tytan delivers a swift kick to the nether regions and crawls back over the railing. Jack leans on the railing as he waits for the world to stop spinning, and Tytan slams his face into it, drawing blood. Tytan drags Jack over the railing and covers, but only gets two. Tytan pulls Jack to his feet runs his head into the ring post. Instead of collapsing, Jack smiles. Tytan tries it again, and Jack starts laughing. Tytan tries a third time and Jack blocks and drives Tytan’s head into the steel. Tytan stumbles back and Jack turns toward the crowd. The elderly fan, having regained his feet, tosses Jack his cane. Jack fields it one-handed and swings around, clubbing Tytan across the back. He continues the beating as Tytan stumbles around the ring. When they complete a full circuit, Jack uses the cane to hit the Boomerang and tosses it back to the fan. He covers, but Tytan just manages to roll a shoulder in time. Both men get to their feet and start throwing punches. As they brawl up the aisle, Tytan gets the advantage. He sends Jack hard into the railing and goes for a big boot, but Jack moves and he crotches himself on the railing. Jack moves in and sets Tytan up for a pile driver, but before he can lift him gets pasted by a chair shot from Eric O’ Mac. Eric puts the boots to Jack and is soon joined by Tytan, until Stank bursts through the curtain with Tyson Kincaid on his back and dragging THE Amnesiac. The Midnight Sons aren’t far behind, and Spin pries Tyson off of Stank as D.H. Magnusson goes after Eric. D&D gain the advantage until the World’s Greatest Fag Team (seriously, can we change that?) and AA come out to tip the balance. Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling lead Run DEA to the rescue, but Phantos and Lucios are quickly sidelined by IHOP. As the entryway and aisle fill up with combatants, Junior sighs and shakes his head. He shrugs and calls for the bell.
WINNER - NO CONTEST, in 14:47.
DAVIN MORELAND vs. POE
Poe’s at the top of the ramp first with Selena as “For Whom the Bell Tolls” starts up. He now seems to welcome the booing as he makes his way down toward the ring. He climbs in, hands his duster to Selena, nods to Sterling Glaw, and assumes some sort of fighting position, refusing to take his eyes off the entrance. “Pull Me Under” fires up, and Davin Moreland poses at the top of the ramp to boisterous cheers as his pyro goes off. He deliberately makes his way down the ramp, trying to hide a slight limp be hopping around a bit and slapping hands with the fans. He doesn’t double jump into the ring, opting to enter the more traditional way. Poe doesn’t let Davin enter the ring completely and immediately attacks with vicious clubbing blows as Davin is halfway into the ring. Glaw immediately calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
Poe presses his advantage, just pummeling Moreland from behind. Finally, Poe tires of that and wraps Davin’s arm in the rope, and locks on a Fujiwara Armbar! Glaw isn’t having this and starts a quick 5 count, which Poe breaks just in time. Glaw steps in with some quality ref work and allows a woozy Moreland to get into the ring. Poe jumps in just as Glaw steps out of the way, but Moreland has the presence of mind to block the punch and return fire with some right hands of his own. Poe is rocked all the way across the ring, and Davin hefts the big man up, and tosses him out of the ring near the announce table.
Davin looks PISSED as he goes after Poe, and goes immediately to attack him, but Poe recovers enough to drill Moreland with elbows.
Russ: This is NOT a Catch-as-catch-can match
The two finally have separation and they stare down; but neither of them see Selena with a chair behind Moreland. Poe charges Moreland, but Moreland ducks just as Selena winds up for a chair shot. WHAM! She NAILS Poe with the chair and is frozen in fear seeing what she’s done to her master. Davin growls evilly and mocks chasing Selena, who runs up the ramp, allowing Davin to do some assaulting. Davin picks up the completely lifeless corpse of Poe and DDTs him on the floor. Moreland checks out the Dominiquan announce table, and starts to do some cleaning. Just as Davin picks up Poe to do something malicious to him, the bell rings! Glaw has seen enough and has
completed a 10 count!
WINNER in 2:48 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT…NO CONTEST!
This doesn’t phase Davin a bit as he sets up Poe on the announce table…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Both lay motionless as Revolution xXx come flying down the ramp, followed closely by Phantos, Lucios and Seamus McNasty! Pier Six brawl in the ring, as Davin has come to, and has locked on an ANKLE LOCK on Poe! Out of the crowd, Chris Cole and Donovan Viper attack Davin Moreland and break up the hold. As he tries to fight them off two-on-one, the locker rooms empty and there’s like a Pier Fifty brawl going on. The referees do what they can, but it’s not until a full five minutes have passed, and Security (indy guys) as well as actual law enforcement come down to break things up before the crowd gets involved.
ATTITUDE ADJUSTER vs. JUSTIN SANE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match – Winner HAS to Cheat to Win
Justin Sane comes to the ring with Old Glory wrapped around him drawing a nice pop from the crowd. He heads to the ring, then steps on the ropes attached to the flag, falls to the floor and immediately taps to the flag. Somehow escaping the death clutches of the American Flag, Sane backs up against the crowd, where he is immediately grabbed by soldiers and gets body surfed to the front row where he is deposited at ring side. Sane checks himself to make sure all the parts are functioning, then climbs into the ring and somehow manages to make it to the top rope without killing himself and gives the troops a nice salute. The crowd pops for Sane again, and then Attitude Adjuster is announced, and he comes to the ring, also with an American flag. AA makes it to ring side getting a lukewarm pop from the crowd. As goes to climb onto the apron, he steps in some discarded gum on the floor. AA sits on the apron and tries to get the gum off his boots, and the American flag falls to the apron, drawing some boos from the crowd. AA gets to his feet and goes to step into the ring, and steps right on the American flag. The flag sticks to AA’s boot and he walks around the ring trying to get the flag off his boot, all the while the crowd is enraged. Finally AA grabs the flag and pulls it free, then slams the flag to the mat. Now the crowd is about to riot. AA immediately realizes what he has done and tries to throw up a salute to the troops, but at this point it is FAR too late. Justin Sane charges in and catches AA with a drop kick to the back that pops the crowd huge, and may well have saved AA from being murdered. AA staggers into the corner and Justin flies in and monkey flips him out of the corner to the middle of the ring. At this point Sane can do no wrong. Sane waits for AA to get to his feet then grabs him and hits an ACID DROP! AA is in trouble in the middle of the ring. Sane climbs to the top rope and hits a MOMENT OF CLARITY! He covers AA and gets the one, two, WAIT! Sane suddenly remember the rules, a clean pin is a disqualification! So Sane jumps off of AA and looks around the ring, drags AA toward the ropes and tries another cover, this time with his feet on the ropes. AA manages to roll his shoulder just before the referee makes the three count. Sane pulls AA to his feet and grabs him for a whip to the ropes, but AA rakes the eyes and head buts Sane sending him between the ropes to the floor. AA follows him to the outside, making sure to avoid the reach of the Marines in the front row. Distracted by the military, Sane catches AA with a knee to the mid section, then grabs him in a head lock and tries a HIGH RISK HEAD LOCK! But AA shoves him off and Sane slams face first into the guard rail. AA rolls Sane into the ring and makes the cover, hooking the tights because he has to, and gets the one, two, NO! Sane manages to kick out! AA gets to his feet and calls for the CLAW! He waits for Sane to get up then goes to grab him, but Sane slips behind AA and hits a backstabber! Justin bounds off the ropes and hits the SHOOTING SPARK PRESS! Sane looks around and then seems to get an inspiration, he grabs the referee’s belt and pulls it out of his pants, and wraps it around his fist. As AA gets to his feet, he BLASTS AA with the belt! AA falls and Sane covers, one, two, NO! F. Fonzworth MacCappington and Ryan Hardcore charge the ring and break up the pin! The referee is about to call for the bell when Phantos, and Lucios come in to even things up. Sane and AA get to their feet and the melee quickly escalates to include chairs and various things thrown into the ring by the military. The referee has seen enough and calls for the bell.
WINNER – No Contest in 8:53
IHOP vs. THE MIDNIGHT SONS vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match
Phantos and Lucios make their way to ringside first, Phantos high-fiving fans along the way, Lucios staring straight ahead the entire time. The Midnight Sons are announced next. DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen hit the ring and begin to confer with Phantos & Lucios in a corner. IHOP heads to ringside (Champions always go on last) and they stop short of the ring. Suddenly, LJ Bennett appears on the Jumbo-Tron 8000
LJB: Now hold on right there. Our esteemed General Manager booked this match, with the obvious intention of putting the champions at a disadvantage. This simply will not do. I hereby order Referee Creech that if Skurge or SYB are at any time double teamed, the offending parties are to be eliminated from the match immediately.
Phantos, DH, Lucios and Spin all immediately begin arguing with Creech. Mel calls for the bell, and Skurge takes advantage of the confusion and attacks Spin from behind. A flurry of rights and lefts pour onto Hansen’s head. Creech pretty blatantly ignores the action, watching and warning DH & Team Aquafina to stay out of the ring. Skurge suplexes Spin and locks in an abdominal stretch. Tag to SYB and he delivers a vicious kick to Spin’s exposed midsection. SYB peppers Spin with chops, backing Hansen into a corner. SYB tries to monkey flip Hansen, but ends up flat on his back. Hansen drops a big elbow on SYB and begins to stomp SYB from head to toe. Creech gets in between the combatants, forcing Spin to back off. Spin threatens Creech, then hoists SYB onto his shoulders for a vicious power slam. Spin reaches back and tags Lucios. Hansen whips SYB into the ropes, and they deliver a double Big Boot to SYB’s glass jaw. SYB collapses in a heap. Creech immediately calls for a bell. HE ducks between the ropes and yells something at the ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentelmen, Referee Mel Creech has thrown Lucios and Spin Hansen out of this match for an illegal double-team. The match will now be restarted.
Magnusson and Phantos stare at each other incredulously. DH ducks into the ring as his partner and Lucios slowly back up the ramp, screaming at Creech the whole way. Dh picks up the corpse of SYB and hurls it into the ropes. Clothesline. Knee drop. DDT. DH covers for a 2 count. Skurge rushes in and breaks up the pin. Phantos tries to even the score, and Creech blocks him. Skurge tries to pile drive DH, but Mags backdrops him out of the ring. Lucios and Spin rush back down the ramp the second Skurge lands on the arena floor and begin to lay the boots to him. Spin grabs a chair and smashes it across Skurge’s skull. Creech turns around at the sound, sees the beat down in progress, and jumps to the floor to break up the festivities. DH & Phantos join in the melee. SYB is motionless in the ring. Eric O’Mac, Moosehead Jack, and Attitude Adjuster rush to ringside and the fight is on! Alexander Darling, Davin Moreland, Carl from Fresno and Justin Sane come down, followed by The Dead, World’s Greatest Fag Team & Chris Cole. Stank and Outback Jack are on their heels, as the rest of the locker room empties out. Creech backs out of the fray and calls for the bell. OFFICIAL RESULT: NO CONTEST in 3:48
MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing we hear is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander Darling takes a step onto the ramp. He doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and ”Princes of the Universe. Alexander Darling makes his way down the ramp slowly, nodding to fans and apparently focusing on the task at hand. Commotion in the crowd starts up, as Moosehead Jack comes FLYING out of the back and delivers a WICKED shot to the back of Darling’s head with a Barbed Wire Bat. Two shots, three shots, and Darling is nearly incapacitated already. Moose smashes Darling’s head off the ramp repeatedly and this is getting ugly. Darling is BUSTED WIDE OPEN! Moose picks up Darling a bit and locks on the JI-ENDO!
Darling is in no condition to retaliate, but Justin Sane comes out of the crowd screaming “BOSSSS!” and dives near Moosehead Jack. This is, apparently, enough to distract Moose; even though Sane missed him by a lot. Moose breaks off the Ji-Endo and starts to beat on Sane. This draws out DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen, and they take over the numbers game, beating on Moose and using some double-team-y type moves. And here comes Revolution xXx; Eric, Tyson and THE Amnesiac! They overpower D&D and start to clear out the area. That is, until Phantos, Lucios, Bunny, Carl From Fresno and Seamus McNasty all come down the ramp. They beat on Revolution xXx for a while, until The Dead, Tytan and the World’s Gayest Fag Team (can someone fix that please) hit the ramp.
Finally, the locker rooms empty and there is just a full-on street fight taking place. Blood is flying, bodies are flying, weapons are flying and now it’s spilling out into the crowd. And to think, people bought a ticket to get their asses kicked. This will be GREAT for PR for the OOWF. Senseless beating after Senseless beating takes place. In the crowd, out of the crowd, wrestlers, non-wresters; it doesn’t matter. There’s fighting everywhere, except for in the ring. Finally, our two principals seem to have come to, and now it’s Darling taking the fight to Moosehead Jack. Darling is landing solid shots to a bloody Moose all the way up the ramp to the stage area. Moose can’t even get his hands up to defend as Darling forces Moose closer and closer to the edge. My God NO! Darling picks Moose up…DARLING DRIVER INTO THE SOUND PIT!
Sparks and Smoke come up with a loud BANG! The fighting stops immediately as the camera quickly cuts to Moose and Darling entangled in sparking wires, neither moving a muscle. Referee Angelo Barros has long since thrown this one out.
YOUR DECISION in 0:00 – NO CONTEST!
LD WILLIAMS vs. CONCRETE TG – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match
Concrete TG comes the ring first with Alexander Darling and Davin Moreland. They make their way to the ring and Crete slides under the bottom rope and waits in one corner. LD Williams is announced and he comes out with Moosehead Jack and Eric O’Mac. LD climbs between the ropes and hands the belt to the referee and steps to the center of the ring. Crete meets LD in the center of the ring and the two have a good old fashioned stare down of mutual dislike. The referee calls for the bell and the two slowly circle and lock up. Crete snaps LD over with an arm drag, LD immediately springs to his feet. Crete charges, but LD side steps and shoves Crete to the ropes, as Crete rebounds, LD elevates him high in the air, and catches him with a kick to the face as he comes down. LD falls on Crete and makes the cover, but Crete kicks out at one and gets to a vertical base. Crete is still a little rocked, and can’t react fast enough to block a clothesline from LD. LD drops a knee across Crete’s chest and gets another two count, but Crete manages to roll his shoulder just before three. LD pulls Crete up and sends him into the corner, but Crete leaps to the second rope and propels himself backward and catches LD with an elbow to the face. Crete springs off the bottom rope and lands a helicopter leg drop and covers for a one count. Crete waits for LD to get to his feet, then hauls him up for a vertical suplex, then drops him chest first to the mat with a sit out suplex! Crete hooks LD’s shoulder and rolls him over and covers, but once again Williams shows his resiliency and kicks out at two. Crete lets LD get to his feet then whips him to the ropes and catches him in a sleeper. LD struggles and starts to fade a bit, then slips to Crete’s side and hits a belly to back suplex! Both men are down and the referee starts the ten count of doom. Crete is on his hands and knees trying to get up, LD pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. LD charges across the ring and tries a kick to Crete’s jaw, but Crete moves and sweeps LD’s leg sending him to the mat. Crete grabs LD’s legs and locks him in a figure four! LD fights the pain and refuses to quit, working his way to the ropes and forcing the break. As LD gets to his feet, Crete connects with a wicked kick to the side of LD’s head that sends him back to the mat. Crete scales the ropes, as he gets to the top, Moosehead Jack moves toward that corner distracting Crete just long enough for LD to get to his feet and charge to the corner knocking Crete’s feet from beneath him crotching him on the top. LD climbs to the top rope and hooks Crete and hits a top rope butterfly suplex! LD drives Crete to the mat, then hooks him and makes the cover, from the outside Alexander Darling reaches in and grabs Crete’s foot and places it on the bottom rope. The referee stops just before the three count as he sees Crete’s foot on the rope. This brings Eric and Moose around the ring and they attack Davin and Darling and once again a brawl erupts outside the ring. LD Williams leaves the ring and grabs Davin Moreland and spins him around and catches him with a kick to the mid section, then PLANTS him on the floor with a DDT. Crete gets to his feet and turns around and gets POPPED in the mouth with X Marks the Spot from The Amnesiac and Tyson Kincaid. They fall on Crete and hammer him with punches and kicks. On the outside DH Magnusson and Spin Hansen run to ringside, Magnusson catches LD with a clothesline that sends him sprawling. Inside the ring, Outback Jack and Phantos and Lucios make the save on Crete. Soon the rest of the locker rooms empty and the brawl spills into the ring, around ringside and into the crowd where fans run for their lives as wrestlers throw chairs at one another and attempt murder. Finally, as seems to be the pattern tonight, the referee has had enough, this match gets thrown out.
WINNER – No Contest in 15:15
DAVIN MORELAND vs. F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON - #1 Contenders Match
Schiavone: And now, ONLY for the West Coast Feed, we have what is probably going to be the GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME! It’s F. Fonzworth MacCappington III challenging Davin Moreland for his #1 Contendership to the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship! This match came about as a result of rumored threatened sexual assault possibly in a chat room, allegedly. Sources say. Details are sketchy, but regardless, we’re in for one of the BEST MATCHES EVER! Let’s head to the ring!
“Laid to Rest” by Lamb of God fires up and F. Fonzworth MacCappington makes his way down the ramp with someone who may or may not be his butler Lance. I think the crowd is booing, but it’s tough to be sure since there’s only like 16 people left in the arena after everyone went home following the Main Event. FFMIII gets in the ring with Junior Hale, who just looks bored. Also looking bored is Davin Moreland as “Pull Me Under” starts up. He’s still bleeding and obviously hurting from earlier in the night, and is carrying his rebar it appears. He gets into the ring and looks at Hale. Hale kind of shakes his head with a grin and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY!
MacCappington looks to be taking this very seriously as he appears focused. Davin gets Hale’s attention and points out to the crowd. FFMIII rushes Moreland, but Moreland catches him out of the corner of his eye and CRACKS FFMIII in the temple with his Trusty Rebar! Hale turns around to see FFMIII laying on the mat. Davin shrugs and smiles. He picks up MacCappington and tosses him to the outside. Moreland implores Hale to start counting, and he complies. Davin rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp; not looking back even after Hale counts 10 and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 1:18 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT…NO DECISION!
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[My5:]