[Jack Quinn]

<Once again we cut to the GM's door where LJ Bennett is standing with the lineup for the week>

LJB: Well Davin, congratulations, you passed quite a test this week. I'll be honest, I didn't think you had it in you. But, then again, look at you. Things are starting to come a bit unraveled aren't they? You can say what you like, because I know you will deny it, but the pressure is getting to you. Everyone can see you are not the same Davin Moreland that we all knew a few short weeks ago. So, I could do the decent thing and give you a nice easy match this week, a chance to regain your composure, a chance to collect yourself and pull yourself back from the edge a bit.

But I am not going to do that. No Davin, this week you will be facing someone very close to you. A trusted confidant. The captain of Run DEA. That's right, Davin, this week, you will be facing Phantos.

Oh, and Phantos, should you win this match, you would be the number one contender. But since I am a nice guy and all, and I see how eager you and Lucios are to cementing your legacy as the OOWF's greatest tag team, and how you have no interest in personal glory, should you win this match, you and Lucios would get to choose a match against any OOWF tag team in its history, with the stips of your choosing. Keep that in mind.

And Davin, one more thing, you call me the puppet master, you say I am pulling LD's strings. That couldn't be further from the truth. The fact is, the only strings I am pulling.....are yours.

<Bennett posts the lineup>

***********************************
OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hammerfest, Norway

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Tournament Royal Elimination Match Loser

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Chris Cole

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Attitude Adjuster vs. Firewoman

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Championship Match[/u]
Insane Homeless Bunny vs. IHOP & The Amnesiac

Tournament Royal Elimination Match[/u]
Tytan vs. Spin Hansen

#1 Contenders Match[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. Phantos

Hardcore Rules Match[/u]
Stank vs. Moosehead Jack

DH Magnusson vs. Apocalyptic Existence
Dead & Blitz vs. Cape Town Cannibals
Poe & The Worlds Greatest Fag Team vs. Outback Jack, Concrete TG & Seamus McNasty
Lucios vs. Tyson Kincaid
Eric O'Mac vs. Damon Wrath

Card subject to strength of the Euro

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Concrete TG is at the counter at Flair's shop, no doubt waiting for a hero sandwich, when he hears a loud belch behind him, and turns to see OBJ.*

CTG: Citizen Outback Jack! I'm looking forward to teaming with you this week!

OBJ: Yeah, well if you bring it like you did when you and Moose were facing The Team From Down Under I'll be a happy camper too. I just hope you can keep your mind on the match.

CTG: That's uncalled for. You know I always try my hardest.

OBJ: True, but I hope your head isn't in the clouds with some superhero crap. And don't even think about asking me or Seamus to wear anything with S.H.I.T. on it.

CTG: Now, let's not be hasty. I think...

*Crete is interrupted by a voice coming from below the level of the counter.*

Voice: Hey, are you guys gonna order or what?

OBJ: Oh, sorry Vader. G'day, Hammer, I didn't see you guys there.

Another voice from below the counter: Very funny, Jack. Who's your goofy friend?

CTG: You're calling me goofy? You're supposed to be Van Hammer, and he's supposed to be the man they call Vader?

1st Voice: Actually, I'm doing the WCW version of Van Vader. And what was up with the "they" who called him Vader - who were "they" anyways?

OBJ: Crete, these are a couple of old friends of mine, and the best midget tag team I've ever seen.

2nd Voice: Thanks, but you know the politically correct term is mini, not midget.

OBJ: My bad.

CTG: So the name of your tag team is...

Voices together: The Mini Vans!

[fasteddie]

The camera picks up Tytan leaving the arena after Mayhem, a dozen fans are at the back lot trying to sneak an autograph or two. The fans see Tytan and ask for an autograph, Tytan smiles and begins to do so. As this is going on Sylvia makes her way toward him.)

Tytan: I was wondering if I was going to get out of here tonight without running into you.

Sylvia: I always make sure I get my man. (She smiles and there is a tension for a second or two.) Okay, that was awkward.

Tytan: I agree.

Sylvia: So Tytan it's down to you and Spin any comments?

Tytan: Stepping awy from the corwd and towards the camera. LD I told you it was going to happen. You know after my match I started thinking. I am beating up LD's opponents for him. The thing that makes this even better is that you are still having a hard time with them anyway?

So I was going to ask this one for you champ, who's going to come after me when I come to face you? I certainly can't do it. You know I got nothing against Davin but when you finally have to face him, are you and Bennett going to set it up that you want me to beat him up to before you face him. I mean champ look at the last two weeks...is that the only way you can win matches these days?

Sylvia: Did you just claim that Bennett is helping out the champ?

Tytan: You know I think I may hae to agree with Davin on this one.

Sylvia: But aren't you suppose to be on the same team as him?

(The crowd boos)

Tytan: What and give this up? I don't work for Steel anymore and that goes the same for Team Bennett.

Sylvia: So does that make you a member of Team Rick?

Tytan: It makes me a free agent. Besides this war is destroying this federation and it need to be done.

Sylvia: So two weeks in a row and two appearances by your new hooded friend, are you going to let us in on the secret?

Tytan: Right now Sylvia, you and the rest of the OOWF are going to have to wait. The secret is between the two of us.

Sylvia: Not even a hint?

Tytan: Sorry but now it's time to sign some autographs.

Sylvia: Fine. Thanks Tytan, and now back to you Jim.

(Fade out)

[Road Warrior Shark]

Phantos and Lucios are inside the Dunkin Donuts Limousine.

Phantos: Man, I just don't get it. Me? Wrestle Davin?

Lucios: Bennett's neverending plan to screw with us. Pit Davin against his friends, hope someone turns on him, create dissent.
You two can have a Flippy Guy Classic out there and make all the teenage internet wrestling dweebs drool.

Phantos: I know that, Davin's a blast to work out with. But wrestle a teammate? That'd be like wrestling you.

Lucios: Brother, just go out there and give it 100%.

Phantos: What if I win? Who do we want to face? Weapon X? D&D origional? kz? The 3 Piece Set?

Lucios: Of all thoise, the only team I Want to face would be Weapon X. Dragging Canadian Dragon away from his job at the Labatt's brewery might be difficult.
Beating them decisively in a Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match; then ending their reign as record holders would be fantastic.

Phantos: That's a GREAT PLAN!

Lucios: Lets head back. if you're going to beat Davin, you have work to do.

Phantos: What about you versus Kincaid?

Lucios: Meh. Lets go.

[Concrete TG]

(CTG recovers from the horrible pun when his hero sandwich is served)

CTG: Citizen Jack, why do you even question my focus about this match?

OBJ: you're not preparing you take out Stank, eh?

CTG: I reiterate, I have no reason to take out an ally in this war. My concern is that Moosehead Jack once again attempts to slander my reputation.

OBJ: "slander"? I think it's "Slaughta" and he's gonna slaughta more than your reputation, mate.

CTG: but to answer your other question, I merely offer the costumes as a means of solidarity. There is no "requirement" to wear the gear

OBJ: then how'd you get Stank to wear HIS?

CTG: He promised in a moment of excessive inebriation. And no Hero goes Back on His Promises.

OBJ: he's gonna slaughta you to, ya know.

CTG: not until this war is settled. Meantime, we need to discuss strategy for our match.

OBJ: not here, mate. You'll have to come with me.

CTG: (looks over the counter) I'll need a Pepsi, to go....

OBJ: not gonna drink?

CTG: I am better at my craft when my mind isn't clouded as such

OBJ: (chugs his beer, belches) That's Australian for "Lightweight".

(CTG takes his soda and follows OBJ out of the sandwich shop)

[Jack Quinn]

<Moose and Stank are in the Destroyitarium watching Crete's promo>

Stank: See?

MHJ: See what?

Stank: It can't be Crete, he hates you more than anyone else in this fed

MHJ: Makes for the perfect cover

Stank: Crete would never go to you for help

MHJ: Really? He didn't seem to have a problem taking my help when we won the tag titles together

<Stank just stares at Moose>

Stank: Our match this week, hardcore rules huh.

MHJ: Someone is really pushing for me to take the bounty

Stank: I suppose Crete is behind that too

MHJ: Wouldn't you say Rick owes him one?

Stank: For what?

MHJ: For walking away from a title shot in McMahonland and coming back to the OOWF for this war?

Stank: Wait, you really think.........

MHJ: Do YOU really think Crete has feuded with me all these years and not picked up on SOME deviousness? Remember Crete hired goons to take me out before finals of the Lazy Booking Invitational last year

<Stank and Moose both go back to drinking without saying another word>

[blownspot]

<Minutes later Stank walks over to Concrete TG's locker room. He opens the door and walks in.>

Stank - Crete? CRETE? I need to talk to you.

<Stank looks around, but finds the locker room empty. He then starts thinking out loud...>

Stank - This is dumb. I don't really believe Crete would do this. Maybe I am giving Moose too much credit. He's the one that keeps insisting it's Crete. Maybe he really wants it to be Crete. Maybe...*WHAM!* *WHAM!*

<Something very hard and heavy hits Stank on his back, and then smacked hard up against the back of his head. The two blows take the big man down from behind. The last image Stank sees before he loses consciousness is Crete's cape draped over his head.>

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade into the palatial IHOP lockerroom. SYB and Skurge are both alternating between pacing, yelling various obscenities, and throwing things at other things. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth sits quietly out of their way. Suddenly, Skurge stops pacing and approaches the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth…

Skurge: Dorothy, how can you be so calm? Justin Sane dropkicked you at OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live! From Sabugal, Portugal. That’s…it’s…it’s…FUCK! It’s fucking unacceptable is what it is!
DM: But–
SYB: Yeah, Dorothy. It was a total douche move. He should really pay for it.
DM: But–
Skurge: Fuck this. I’m oot of here. I’m going to find Sane, and I’m going to fucking murder him.
DM: But–
SYB: Heh. You keep saying “butt.”
Skurge: Shut the fuck up, Solly. Try to take this seriously, eh? Dorothy got attacked. That can’t happen. We need to make an example of this fuckwad so it doesn’t happen again.
DM: Look – both of you shut up for a minute, would you? There’s a ceasefire in place. You can’t go after Sane right now. You’ll have to wait for OOWF MidWeek Mayhem, Live! From Hammerfest, Norway, next week.
Skurge: But–
SYB: Heh. Now you–
Skurge: Laugh it up, cueball. Dorothy’s right. As much as I want to kick Sane’s ass, it’ll have to wait. That said, if you don’t start taking this situation more seriously, I can and will kick your ass.
DM: Guys, don’t let this situation get you fighting with each other. Sane’s not worth that. And don’t worry about taking Sane out. I’ll take care of that myself.

*With that, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth walks out of the palatial IHOP lockerroom, leaving Skurge and SYB wondering what she meant.

*We catch up with the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth walking down the hallway. In the distance, we see Justin Sane having a heated agrument with…wait…is that…*sigh*…he’s arguing with a Ladder. I hate this job sometimes…

JS: I’ve faced 16-footers in my time, pal. You don’t scare me one bit!
Ladder: …
JS: That’s what I thought you said!
DM: Hey Justin.
JS: Shit! You scared the hell out of me, Dorothy.
DM: It’s Miss Mantooth, thanks. We need to talk. Can we go sit over there?
JS: Sure, Dor– Miss Mantooth.

*As Justin Sane turns his back, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth reaches into her purse and pulls out…holy shit! That’s easily the biggest vibrator I’ve ever seen! That thing’s gotta be, like, 14 inches! Wait, now it’s going back into the purse, and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is blushing slightly as she pulls out…a lead pipe! Closing the distance between herself and Justin Sane, the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth takes a mighty swing and connects with the back of Justin Sane’s skull with a sickening thud. Justin Sane lands face-first on the floor, his ass in the air. As the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth reaches back into her purse, pulling out the giant vibrator once again, we see a smile start to appear on Justin Sane’s face as we *FADE*

[DevSop]

*OOC* And goodbye Miss Mantooth.

[Eric O'Mac]

Goodbye Miss Mantooth for 60 days, that is.

MTA: Or is it 30?

[The Canadian Content]

**OOC: she's not on the active roster. I cleared it with the brass before posting it. She's clean.**

[DevSop]

*OOC* Well I know what Samantha will be doing soon...

[Attitude Adjuster]

* OOC * Can Attitude Adjuster attack a midget Firewoman?

[Jack Quinn]

sure

[Tommy]

Aug 22, 2008 17:43:37 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

sure

Yeah, Dotty's gone for 60 or else there are going to be surrogates everywhere doing backstage vibrator attacks

[karmic]

Aug 22, 2008 18:33:48 GMT -5 Tommy said:

Aug 22, 2008 17:43:37 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

sure

Yeah, Dotty's gone for 60 or else there are going to be surrogates everywhere doing backstage vibrator attacks

***OOC***
Coulda gone all night without that particular visual, Tommy....Thanks much.
***OOC***

[Attitude Adjuster]

* OOC * Can AA attack a midget Firewoman with a giant vibrator?

[Jack Quinn]

no

[blownspot]

Wait was Stank hit with a giant vibrator?

[Jack Quinn]

would a superhero use a vibrator?

[Concrete TG]

**OOC**

No he would not!

**IC**

(CTG returns to his locker room after his strategy session with OBJ and sees his cape on the floor covering something. Confused, he pulls the cape back to reveal the still-unconscious Stank)

CTG: Citizen Stank! (tosses the cape back on top of his duffel bag) Who could have done such a thing! In my locker room, no less? (shakes one of Stank's shoulders) Citizen, awaken! Great injustice has befallen here!

(Stank's eyes snap open and one huge paw snaps around Crete's throat)

Stank: (snarling) the FUCK you think you're doing?? I'M ON YOUR SIDE

CTG: (gagchokeflail)

Stank: you think this is FUNNY?? You wanna sneak up on me and bash me over the head with an oversized -

CTG: (gagcough) not.... me.....

Stank: Fuck that (shoves Crete back) I came here to TALK and you fuckin blindside me with a giant-

CTG: Stay your hand, citizen! (coughrasp) I've done no such thing!

Stank: the hell you didn't! Who else comes in here?

CTG: besides you?

Stank: then you blindsided me with a fuckin-

CTG: I have NO SUCH WEAPON!

Stank: (glare)

CTG: (coughcough) I just came back from talking to Outback Jack about my match. You're my ally, why would I want to knock you out?

Stank: cos of the bounty you put on my ass

CTG: I did NO such thing! I reiterate, were I to stoop that low, it would be for Moosehead JAck!

Stank: (winds up to swing at Crete, then hesitates)

CTG: would I risk suspension for something like that? I wouldn't be working for a time and Moosehead Jack tries to end this war in Bennett's favor

Stank; ...... I need a drink (stomps out)

CTG: (relieved, but then thinks about the scenario) ... it's too simple, even for Moose's tastes.... something else is afoot....

[The Canadian Content]

***OOC: Sorry I didn't Exalt you for this earlier, OBJ. It's right up there with "Tanks for nothing." Nicely done.

Aug 21, 2008 8:54:33 GMT -5 Outback Frito Pendejo said:

Voices together: The Mini Vans!

[Tommy]

*We open to the Run DEA Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Right now, Smokey is sleeping on top of a sleeping Spirios. Aww. We know, however, that THAT will not last long*

Phantos: *screaming from another room* HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CAPE?!?!?

*Spirios and Smokey scatter. Told ya*

Davin: *yelling from another room* WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED YOUR CAPE FOR?

Phantos: I NEED IT FOR OUR MATCH!

*Davin comes out into the common area*

DM: Dude, you're not wearing that fucking cape for our match, are you?

*Phantos comes out*

P: Well, yeah. I always wear it.

DM: *sighs* I don't need cape-wearing Phantos this week.

P: What does that mean?

DM: I mean, this is your chance to be #1 contender. I know Bennett was telling you all sorts of things about what you can Luc can do; but when it comes down to it; YOU COULD be the #1 contender if you wanted. And damn it, you can beat LD. You could be OOWF World Heavyweight Champion; but we can't have Phantos with the cape. If I could get you to take off the mask I would, but I know that won't happen. This has to be you; all focused on winning; not on being a superhero. You get what I'm saying?

P: I think so. But what's all this about how I'm going to beat you?

DM: Phantos, I don't think anyone can beat me. I have to think that way. But if there's anyone out there who can do it is you. You can flip better than me and you're faster than me. There's not too many people in the OOWF that can say that.

P: You're also a foot taller and like 150 lbs. heavier.

DM: You know as well as anyone that height and weight has nothing to do with winning. I know you can win Phantos; and if I have to lose to anyone, I hope it's you.

P: Me? Why?

DM: You and Luc have been like my brothers, little man. I mean, look around at all this. We've come a LONG way together; and you guys winning, I dunno, it's kinda like I win, P-Dawg.

P: Wow. Thanks Davin.

DM: Now, saying that; and I meant every word of it; that I will do anything...ANYTHING, to be the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. And I'm going to do everything I can to get there. You got that?

P: Yeah, sure Davin.

DM: No seriously; do you get what I'm saying?

P: Yeah, yeah. Want an Aquafina?

DM: No thanks P-Dawg.

*Phantos grabs an Aquafina and goes in the other room. As soon as he leaves, Samantha Darling comes out, holding a familiar looking cape that looks like it has an Aquafina logo on it*

SD: What's this?

DM: Hello to you too.

SD: Seriously. What IS this? And why was it in my suite?

DM: Shhh, it's Phantos' cape

SD: Why is it in MY suite?

DM: Because I put it there.

SD: Why did you put it there?

DM: Why are you asking so many questions?

SD: Because I want to know why.

DM: Because go fuck yourself. THAT'S WHY!

*Davin laughs uncontrollably, Samantha is not amused.*

DM: Ok, fine. I didn't want Phantos to wear it for our match, so I hid it on him.

SD: Why was it in my suite?

DM: Because he would never look in there. He's scared of you.

SD: Why is he scared of me?

DM: EVERYONE is scared of you. You've been acting really strangely lately.

SD: Well, fucking DUH. I mean, how do you expect me to react hearing something like that?

DM: Well, I assumed, not like this.

*Samantha throws the cape at him*

SD: Fine, I'll just go be scary and unfeeling like the rest of my fucking family. No wonder they're all like that.

DM: Now, hold on a second.

SD: No, YOU fucking hold on. I've been sitting here silently watching you and my brother...

DM: Brother Dear...

SD: I DO NOT call him that. That's fucking creepy. Anyway, I've been silently watching you and my brother turn into goddamned psychopaths, and I'm not going to stand for it any more. The war, the war, the war. It's all the two of you have talked about for months. LEXIE goes to Boston...

DM: And doesn't take me...

SD: Why SHOULD she take you? She doesn't exactly like you very much.

DM: Oh, I dunno, because I'd rather be, you know, pretty much HOME as opposed to in Timbuktu or wherever the fuck we were. Besides. How can she not like me. Everyone likes me. Kids like me. Even kittens *on cue, Smokey jumps into Davin's arms* like me.

SD: She doesn't.

DM: Then she's a stupid. She just wasn't expecting to be swerved.

SD: No, but then again, neither were you.

DM: Oh sure I did, but it was to my benefit. So I let it happen.

SD: Ah yes, the "evil genius mastermind" *rolls eyes* how can I forget?

DM: Not evil.

SD: *stares*

DM: Hey, I'm not evil. *looks down at how he's petting Smokey, and realizes he looks like an Evil Genius Archetype, so he puts her down* I'm not evil. I'm just tired of being taken advantage of; and I'm tried of putting up with bullshit. I just wanna wrestle. I just want belts. I'm not all that complicated.

*Samantha laughs her ass off at that last part*

DM: What?

SD: Please, you're the definition of complicated. Plus you're crazy.

DM: *shrugs* You like crazy.

SD: *shrugs back* I'm a Darling.

DM: That you are. Hey, now that we're almost back in the real world; wanna go get liquored up?

SD: *looks around* Yeah, sure. Nothing else to do.

DM: Cool.

*They both get up and walk out the door. Apparently, we have a Ninja Cameraman with cement feet, because he doesn't follow them, but the audio is still up*

DM: So it bothered you that much?

SD: Yeah. I didn't expect that from you.

DM: You know WHY, right?

SD: Oh, I TOTALLY know WHY. Just didn't expect it.

DM: There's a lot you don't know about me.

SD: Line stealer.

DM: I am, now...about this week...

*Voices fade, video fades*

[Road Warrior Shark]

***OOC***
Lets assume some time elspases between Tommy's promo and mine. I was typing mine (and playing poker) when he posted his

***IC***

Phantos and Lucios are sitting in the Aquafina Run-DEA Luxury Suites. Lucios brandishes a remote and is pointing out things to his partner on the Sony Multimedia Center. A Randomly Numbered Sexy Female Journalist walks in, mic in hand and cameraman in tow.

RNSFJ: Hi Guys! Can we get some comments from you about your singles matches this week?

Phantos: (leaping out of his chair) Sure thing honey!

Lucios: Really, is this necessary? We're a little busy.

RNSFJ: (checking her notebook) You two are on my itenerary for today.

Phantos: It's Ok. My partner, he's a little grumpy here lately. Please, have a seat.

(Phantos sits down right next to the SFJ, leaving no daylight between them.)

RNSFJ: Wow, this is nice, leather?

Phantos: Nothing but the best with Run-DEA.

Lucios: Oh you have GOT to be kidding me.

RNSFJ: So, Phantos, I see you are hard at work preparing for your match with Davin Moreland. Is it going to be difficult wrestling in only your second singles match in over a year here in the OOWF?

Phantos: Difficult? of course not. Davin is an amazing wrestler, but I will definitly hold up my end of the bargain.

RNSFJ: What about you Lucios? This will be just your 3rd singles match here. Any reservations?

Lucios: Reservations? I have reservations about why we arer even IN singles matches this week. LJ Bennett is trying to screw with us. He's been doing this to us for weeks on end. We had to fight tooth and nail to get a fiar shot at the Tag Team Championships. Now The Show Before a Pay Per View, he puts the Tag Team Champions in Singles matches. Not singles matches that make sense, like against our pay per view opponents, but in two unrealted contests. Yeah, way to book a show there LJ.

RNSFJ: Isn't Phantos in the match with Davin because Mr. bennett is trying to get at Davin?

Phantos: It serves both purposes. Splits us up, and puts Davin and I both in uncomfortable situations. He wants someone to take that Number 1 Contendership from Davin. He could send his cronies to do it, but he is intent on torturing Davin along the way.

(Davin Moreland walks in at that moment. The room goes silent)

Davin: Talking about me I see.

Phantos: Nothing bad kimosabe.

Lucios: Shannon here was trying to stir the pot and get Phantos to trash talk about the mathc this week.

RNSFJ: I'm not S..

Davin: Save it. P Dawg, you and I are going out and tearing the house down this week. Match of the year candidate guarnateed.

Phantos: Heck Yeah!

RNSFJ: I was going to say my name isn't Shan...

Lucios: It really doesn't matter

Phantos: Here's $200. (Hands it to the SFJ) I want you to go flash Tyson Kincaid Wednesday. He needs something good to happen to him that day.

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

Aug 22, 2008 19:43:36 GMT -5 Attitude Adjuster said:

* OOC * Can AA attack a midget Firewoman with a giant vibrator?

OOC:

1: We've established that "mini" is the politically correct term, but I guess AA wouldn't be bound by that as a heel.

2: If NPC's are allowed to do attacks with vibrators, I shudder to think about what Wally will get up to.