[ALL CAPS]

I'm not actually watching or anything but my cable guide's description for the show was so unintentionally funny to me that I felt the need to share it:

"Featured: Mark Henry (Pro Wrestling)"

Everything about that description is hilarious for multiple reasons.

[Fire-Babe]

crap! i knew i forgot something. This is going to be brief because of stupid conventions.

Liveish from Wilkes-Barre, PA.

Blondie the assistant GM comes out and introduces Teddy as the GM. Okay...

Turns out, ECW is also going to do a championship scramble. How original.

Match 1: Matt Hardy v. John Morrison
Championship Scramble Qualifying Match

Someone up there loves me! Pretty much your standard match from them, although they mix it up pretty well. Some cool spots include Morrison trying to launch himself over the top rope, but Matt punching him in the face and knocking him back down to the floor for a count. Morrison tries to hit what he calls 'Starship Pain,' (split-legged corkscrew moonsault) but Hardy is not home. Hardy hits Side Effect and then Morrison counters the Twist of Fate attempt by lifting Hardy up and dropping him on the top rope. Morrison hits a Side Russian leg sweep, but gets a 2 count. He tries for Moonlight Drive, but Hardy gets out. Morrison looks like he has it with a backslide (!) but his feet are on the ropes, and the ref sees it. While Morrison is arguing, Hardy does a roll up for 2. Morrison hits a springboard kick of the second rope and covers for 2. Matt hits the Twist of Fate. Winner: Matt Hardy

Mark Henry is COMPLAINING~! about being entered into the championship scramble. He says it isn't fair. Teddy says life isn't fair.

Match 2: The Miz v. Evan Bourne
Championship Scramble Qualifying Match

There's again no surprises in this match, but that doesn't mean it wasn't fun to watch, just like the match before it. They stat out with several exchanges of near falls, even with some mat wrestling, which I can't help but love. Evan tries to go for hurricanrana off the top turnbuckle, but Miz counters and drops him over the top rope. Miz follows him over and then rams his abs (oh no!) into the apron, but it looks like he catches his mouth on the bottom rope. Back in the ring, Bourne hits two beautiful roundhouse kicks, and then a hurricanrana. Standing moonsault by Evan, and a cover for 2. Miz hits his Reality Check, and rolls Evan up, using the tights for help but the ref doesn't see it. Winner: The Miz. Booo!

Chavo and Bam are WALKING~! And with the magic of split screen, so is Tommy Dreamer!

Match 3: Chavo Guerrero (with Bam Neely) v. Tommy Dreamer
Championship Scramble Qualifying Match

The lovely Miss Neely holds the ropes for Chavo. How sweet! Tommy has abandoned the velour pants, and gone back to what appears to be the shiny pleather. They start out more brawling than wrestling. At some point, Tommy starts selling a rib injury. Doesn't stop him from getting Chavo into Tree of Woe, and E-C-W chant, and then a drop kick to the face. Some more brawling, wherein Tommy knocks Bam off the apron with his face, injuring himself in the process. Chavo hops over him and bounces his neck off the top rope. As Dreamer falls to his back, Chavo climbs the turnbuckle and does the Pale Shadow of Uncle Eddie's Frog Splash for the pin. Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Hey, Josh Matthews is at the DNC! Batista and Candice Michelle are there as well. We are Smacking Down the Vote, people! Because remember, if you don't vote, you can't bitch! (Okay, that last one was mine.)

Match 4: Finlay (with Hornswoggle) v. Mike Knox
Championship Scramble Qualifying Match

Is it bad that I want to rip that orange vest right off Hornswoggle and rip it to shreds? Very much a brawl 'smashmouth' match. They push each other around the ring, until finally Finlay kicks Knox in the stomach and tosses him out of the ring. The two now brawl on the outside, tossing each other into ring posts and guard rails before rolling back in. Finlay puts on a clinic of various locks and holds. Knox powders out to nurse his sore left arm, but Finlay follows him out. Finlay walks right into a power slam onto the floor. Back in the ring, it's Knox's turn with kicks and then some holds. He hits a big closeline on Finlay, and pins for two. He continues with the submission holds, but Finlay eventually poers his way out. Knox shoulder blocks Finlay in to the corner, and then goes after Hornswoggle, ripping his little green coat off. (Close!) Finlay is not pleased with this, and Knox may have just made a big mistake. Finlay hits two clotheslines, and a Samoan drop. He goes for the Celtic Cross, but Knox counters, pushing Finlay into the ropes. Finlay bounes off, and right into Knox's boot. Knox pins, but no! Finlay kicks out. Knox begins to work on untying the turnbuckle. While the ref is pointing out this isn't good sportsmanship, Finlay has some how gotten a hold of the shillelagh. He goes to swing, but Knox sees him and kicks him int he stomach. Finlay drops the shillelagh, and Knox goes to pick it up, but the ref intervenes. While the ref is tossing the shillelagh out, Hornswoggle tosses a second shillelagh into the ring. Neither the ref nor Mike Knox sees it this time, and Finlay connects. He tosses the shillelagh out of the ring, and makes the cover. The ref turns around just in time. Winner via shenanigans: Finlay

Sadly, I do not get to use the phrase "restrained by Morrison" this week. Maybe next time! Three out of four matches were good, and Mark Henry was in none of them. I think I would have made Hardy/Morrison and Bourne/Miz the opening and closing matches, in either order. Finlay/Knox was pretty good, but since they are brawlers and not really high spot guys, I think the excitement of one or the other matches, maybe Hardy/Morrison, would have been a better closer.

[Lucky]

I too am not watching but there is one thing about ECW that can bring me joy each week.

A golden rainbow will cast itself over Wilkes-Barre, Pa., for ECW on Sci Fi as eight Superstars will have the chance to earn a title opportunity at Unforgiven alongside champion Mark Henry in the ECW Championship Scramble.

Tonight on ECW, the Land of the Extreme's top competitors square off in a series of qualifying battles to determine which four gold seekers will join the World's Strongest Champion in just two weeks.

HA! They're even making up their own new (and ridiculously inaccurate) phrases now!

[Fire-Babe]

golden rainbow? do you get those if the sun shines during your golden showers?

[National Champion Chris Cole]

ECW is having a scramble also? Seriously it isn't that great of an idea to do twice let alone 3 times.

[bdoriginal]

I don't mind all three using the same stipulation, but I don't care for this particular stipulation. I'm not sure if you meant the same thing or if you commenting on the overload of three of the same match type.

I really wish they had done something a bit different.

Off the top of my head, and yeah, these probably aren't all that good either, but I'd have like to see one of the other two scrambles play out like this:

-Most pin falls win
-Elimination, but you have to be pinned twice to be eliminated
-Set limit of falls (first guy to three or something)
-You have to pin or submit each of your opponents

[National Champion Chris Cole]

I meant this stip. I was ok with two Chamber Matches because it was a really cool stip. The scramble seems really lame and really out of left field. And then we have the weird disparity where everybody in the Raw match is a former World Champ and NOBODY in the Smackdown match has been World Champ. At least they have clarified that the only person to be a World Champ will be the winner. I wouldn't mind one scramble match for something different but 2 and especially 3 is bordering on retarded.

[Mr. Dashbee]

Plus, if the scramble was an Adamle original (was it?), then the other brands are merely ripping off Mike Adamle. I wouldn't want to be the GM that rips off Mike Adamle.

And it just seems uninspired to me to book it like this.

[Lucky]

It wasn't. Adamle said that Shane and Steph told him to do this match so it was just him following orders.

[Mr. Dashbee]

Aug 27, 2008 16:30:25 GMT -5 Lucky said:

It wasn't. Adamle said that Shane and Steph told him to do this match so it was just him following orders.

That helps somewhat. Did Stephanie & Shane order all 3 brands to do it?

Regardless, I didn't really like using the Elimination Chamber twice in the same night (but at least it was to grant WM title shots, IIRC). I dislike this idea much more than that.

[Lucky]

I think the reasoning each GM gave was Adamle was told to do it. Vickie did it because she wanted to do something special to make up for her bad GMing. And Teddy said he called Shane and Steph and asked to do it because he wanted to prove that "anything RAW and SD can do, ECW can do better."

[Mr. Dashbee]

Aug 27, 2008 16:48:40 GMT -5 Lucky said:

I think the reasoning each GM gave was Adamle was told to do it. Vickie did it because she wanted to do something special to make up for her bad GMing. And Teddy said he called Shane and Steph and asked to do it because he wanted to prove that "anything RAW and SD can do, ECW can do better."

I'm glad you were paying attention. Now, any ideas as to why

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko is returning on TNA

?

[gobshite]

If I answer your question, it sorta negates you blocking it out, but I guess he has either struck a short term deal, or had to make a final few appearances. Or Maybe the E offered him the awesome chance to go back to FCW!!

[Attitude Adjuster]

Re: Spoiler.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jack Quinn]

There, just in case there is someone on the board who hasn't already red it, potential TNA spoiler

SPOILER: Click to show

I read somewhere that Tomko had intended to take a lot of dates in Japan, but the promotion he was going to work for (ICW? I don't recall) recently canceled a bunch of shows, so he decided to go back to TNA

No idea how much truth there is to that, its just what I read on the intraweb

[Tommy]

Aug 28, 2008 11:32:41 GMT -5 Jack Quinn said:

SPOILER: Click to show

I read somewhere that Tomko had intended to take a lot of dates in Japan, but the promotion he was going to work for (ICW? I don't recall) recently canceled a bunch of shows, so he decided to go back to TNA

No idea how much truth there is to that, its just what I read on the intraweb

You are quite good at covering up spoilers. Well done!

[Jack Quinn]

hey I said it was a rumor. I have no idea how true it is. Maybe

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko

will show up in ROH, GLOW, AWA Classics or WWE too. Who knows.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Why is a TNA spoiler in the ECW thread anyway?

[bdbdbd]

I am all for the return of GLOW with commissioner

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko

(tagged for your pleasure).

[Attitude Adjuster]

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko

Former multifederation wrestler could job to Verne Gagne in AWA Classic.

[Lucky]

Aug 28, 2008 13:44:34 GMT -5 National Champion Chris Cole said:

Why is a TNA spoiler in the ECW thread anyway?

That's what I was wondering.

[Jack Quinn]

Aug 27, 2008 17:14:07 GMT -5 Mr. Dashbee said:

I'm glad you were paying attention. Now, any ideas as to why

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko is returning on TNA

?

I saw this, so I answered

[Mr. Dashbee]

Wow, my spolier was put in spoiler tags to prevent it from, you know, actually spoiling anything.

And it was more of a joke to Lucky since he had all the answers to my other questions...maybe next time I'll just exalt him.

[Jack Quinn]

well yeah, I could have answered in spoiler tags, but since it was just a rumor I heard from a site that I don't even recall, I thought it was pretty safe

And it is more interesting than anything on ECW right now anyway

[Lucky]

This isn't really to be taken seriously or to heart or anything but I figured I'd just explain any objection.

Even though the spoiler was spoiler tagged its placement kind of makes it a problem. If you post a spoiler tagged thing in the TNA thread I say "A TNA spoiler, won't read that." If you post it in the ECW thread I say (or said in this case) "ECW spoiler, well I'm pretty sure I already read those so no biggie." The problem with spoiler tags is you don't know what's in there until you uncover it. So the thread title and conversation needs to tip off the nature of it. Spoiler tags in ECW thread says "ECW spoilers." A TNA spoiler when TNA hasn't been mentioned once in the thread is out of LF and potentially an involuntary spoiler (as it was in this case).

Now, the problem with Moose posting the "rumor" is that he essentially negates the spoiler tag. If I skipped the spoiler tag what difference does that make when 2 posts later someone is telling me that

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko

has gone back to

SPOILER: Click to show

TNA

. Thus, I now have a pretty good idea of what was under that spoiler tag. I may have never read "

SPOILER: Click to show

Tomko returning on TNA

" but I read someone respond to it with a detailed response that basically makes it clear what the question was. gobshite said it best.

If I answer your question, it sorta negates you blocking it out

Its a silly wrestling spoiler so it isn't worth having a fight over, but I was bummed by what would have been a legitimate surprise spoiling me by surprise. If this were OO I would have split those posts into their own thread titled "TNA Spoiler - Returning Wrestler" or something to limit the number of people who fell into the same accidental trap I did. But we don't have that option here so it was just left there. So short of spoil tagging the next couple of posts and putting a big flashing "THIS IS A TNA SPOILER, NOT AN ECW ONE!" tag on it nothing I could do. And really, that's too much work.