[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From St. Catherines, Ontario Canada

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
LD Williams vs. Davin Moreland

OOWF Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Chris Cole vs. DH Magnusson

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Phantos & Lucios vs. The Worlds Greatest Fag Team

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match 4-Way Dance[/u]
Firewoman vs. Attitude Adjuster vs. Seamus McNasty vs. Tyson Kincaid

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Elimination Match[/u]
IHOP & The Amnesiac vs. Insane Homeless Bunny

Grudge Match - Moosehead Jack Special Referee[/u]
Stank vs. Concrete TG

Spin Hansen vs. Apocalyptic Existence
Eric O'Mac vs. Outback Jack
Gods & Monsters vs. Cape Town Cannibals
The Dead & Blitz vs. ZK DeBeers & Damon Wrath

Card subject to Canadian bylaws

(typo fixed, stupid Canada)

[Eric O'Mac]

*Fade in and do it fast because Eric O'Mac is fuming. Wearing black leather biker gloves, a black leather vest, designer jeans and dark shades to go with his ever so dark personality, Eric storms down halls in the OOWF Arena. He shoves production guys out of his way, flips over the catering tables just as Carl From Fresno and DH Magnusson are about to eat (AHHH!). No time for joking, Eric sees two offices, one labeled "GM The Rick," the other labeled "LJ Bennett." Eric sees the two roads divirged and he takes the one that he's most recently traveled. Maybe that will make all the difference.*

Eric: YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!

Rick: What the hell do you want now?

Eric: I WANT YOU TO WATCH THIS AND SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!

*Eric, who has a black bag with him, pulls out a DVD, shoves it into a DVD player, turns the TV on. The DVD shows this scene.*

Attitude Adjuster gets up, but is still clearly in a state of shock, and staggers just a bit.

AA: But why? Why would you do this? Why would you get my hopes up, and … why?

FW: You seriously don’t know? Kidnapping my valet? The beat down in North Korea? And then, playing a vital role in losing my belt…. my Onslaught belt!! I may not have found away to get even with Eric or Bennett yet for stealing my belt from me, but you gift wrapped an idea right into my lap. I had to keep it secret from everyone, including you, Alex,… Alex, and DH, I’m really sorry about that. I couldn’t risk Attitude Adjuster finding out the truth accidentally. It’s good to know that you two would stick by me, no matter what though. Really, the only other people who knew were Jericho, and Rick, of course.

Alan, you were so willing to believe. It was easier than I thought it would be. I mean seriously. What woman would keep WRESTLING when pregnant? And what medical team would CLEAR her to do that? It’s so obvious!! And you still didn’t get it! No wonder you suck at gambling.

Attitude Adjuster walks slowly around the ring, letting this all sink in.

FW: Then you hit me with that damned tennis racket, when you merely thought I was pregnant. And I knew I had my angle. And you fell for it. You let a WOMAN get the best of you.
Firewoman laughs

AA: I… you…you…

Before he can get the words out, Firewoman takes the monitor from the ultrasound screen and clobbers AA over the head with it. Glass and broken plastic are everywhere. Attitude Adjuster has a cut over his left eye, and the blood is starting to flow. She straddles the downed Attitude Adjuster, and pulls the mic up again.

FW: Gee, Alan. I guess you should have taken your own advice. Never trust anything that bleeds for 4 days and doesn’t die.

She straightens up, and kicks Attitude Adjuster a little in the side as she steps back.

*Eric stops the DVD there, ejects the DVD and puts in another DVD.*

Eric: NOW....I want you to watch this, Lou.

EOM: Today is a watershed moment in OOWF history. Today both warring factions of the OOWF have agreed to a temporary cease fire, ending hostilities until further notice.

DM: This cease fire means that there is to be no physical contact between members of the opposite sides of this war outside of a sanctioned match agreed upon by members of the booking committee.

EOM: Any break in these rules will result in a mandatory 30 day suspension without pay. This edict supercedes any contract, verbal agreement, or promises made. There will be NO exceptions to this rule, all suspensions will be strictly and absolutely upheld.

*End DVD scene, and Eric grabs Rick by the shirt.*

Eric: NOW.....you tell me exactly WHY Firewoman hasn't had her Onslaught Title vacated and having sent her on a 30 days suspension?

Rick: This is a Board of Directors ruling, Eric. I have nothing to do with it.....

Eric: Oh, BULLSHIT! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT! YOU MADE THE MATCH, YOU COST HIM THE TITLE AND FIREWOMAN GETS TO WALK OFF CLEAN AS A WHISTLE?

Rick: The Board of Directors are meeting to discuss possible, if any, implications to the altercation...

Eric: So, basically, what you are telling me is that 45 days ago, I stood up there with a mortal enemy of mine, Davin Fucking Moreland, and we were FORCED to read bullshit lines about how there would be no altercations and that there would be NO EXCEPTIONS to this rule...only to come and find out that there actually ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE?

Rick: I'm not sure what to tell you...

Eric: I'd expect this from my father, but not from you.

Rick: Come one, you know there is no need to go there.

*The fire, ironically, is burning in Eric's eyes, as he raises his Oakley shades over his head.*

Rick: Tell me, Eric, what is your fascination with Firewoman?

Eric: Don't you even FUCKING DARE SUGGEST THAT I HAVE A FASCINATION WITH HER! No, after we had that nice talk last week, it turns out that Team Bennett gets screwed, and if you even think about PROTESTING THAT YOU HAD NO......FUCKING........IDEA.....THAT......SHE WAS NOT PREGNANT, THEN YOU SHOULD RESIGN RIGHT HERE, ON THE SPOT, BECAUSE YOU SIMPLY AREN'T DOING YOUR JOB CORRECTLY!

Rick: Eric, I'm going to ask you to leave.

Eric:.......Don't worry. I'll leave. But I'll be back. And you better not be here. Rumors are already a'brewing that your office won't be the same in a couple of days.

Rick: If you do anything brash, I will see to it that you get suspended.

Eric: Ha. By using the parameters that we've used in the Firewoman case? If that's just case, then I can tell you one thing:

ASK

ME

IF

I

GIVE

A

FUCK.

*With that Eric, walks outside of Rick's office. Fade out.*

TO BE CONTINUED

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade into Air Canada flight #816. SYB and Skurge are sitting next to each other playing Scrabble on laptops…

Skurge: Go, eh?
SYB: I went, hit refresh.
Skurge: Heh. LABIA. Good word.
SYB: A-thank you. So where are we heading for Mayhem this week?
Skurge: Dude. OOWF MidWeek Mayhem is Live! From St. Catharines, Ontario.
SYB: Isn’t that where you’re billed from?
Skurge: It suuure is. Got a house there and everything.
SYB: Wait a minute. Did you say St. Catharines?
Skurge: Yep. The windy apple.
SYB: But the card for this week says “St. Catherine’s”.
Skurge: Yeah, I saw that. I’m going to have to have a talk with management aboot these typos. That’s two in three weeks. It’s like Americans don’t know much aboot Canada or something.
SYB: Yes. That’s exactly what it’s like. Anyway, it’s your turn, hoser.
Skurge: I went. I played PENIS off your LABIA.
SYB: Heh. Nicely done.
*FADE*

[Riot Act]

*OOC* Exalt for that.

[fasteddie]

(Tytan watches Eric promo on OOWF TV and looks over to Poe)

Tytan: You know what the sad part is Eric is right and for once makes perfect sense.

(Fade)

[Riot Act]

The camera fades into the Bennett locker room following Mayhem. Attitude Adjuster sits on a folding chair with his head down, still looking stunned following Firewoman’s revelation and subsequent victory.

The door opens and AA looks up to see Tyson Kincaid, a little bruised from his brawl with Seamus McNasty, step into the room.

TK: We need to talk.

AA: I’d rather not.

TK: Look, you’ve been ducking me for two weeks, now. The only time I saw you is when you thought you were defending Firewoman from me.

AA stands up, the mention of Firewoman clearly having struck a nerve.

AA: I said I don’t want to talk, so fuck off, Kincaid. You don’t need to rub it in.

TK: What the hell are you talking about? She fucked us both over. I’m as upset as you are.

AA: I doubt that. You didn’t think you were a father.

TK: Maybe not, but I’ve been carrying around feelings for her for a long time. Do you think finding out she was pregnant made it any better?

AA looks at Kincaid, seeming to think for a moment.

AA: So what are we going to do about it?

TK: Well, for starters, we’re both in that 4-Way Dance for the Onslaught Championship. That gives us a chance to work together. Get everyone else out of the picture and then let the two of us fight it out, man-to-man, to see who deserves the gold.

AA: Fine.

TK: Just one more thing about that match.

AA: What?

TK: I want Seamus. We’ve got some unfinished business after what happened tonight. Plus, I still don’t feel all that comfortable getting physical with Fire. At least not until I’ve confronted her about our past.

AA: And when do you plan on doing that?

TK: Next week. That’s the second thing we have going for us. With any luck, I’ll throw her off her game just enough that she won’t even be a factor in the match.

AA solemnly nods, obviously still feeling the effects of tonight. Kincaid pats him on the back and leaves the room as the scene fades.

[BC]

Sylvia, the SFJ, pokes her head into Poe’s locker room. There she finds Tytan, sitting on the couch next to Poe, who has Selena in his lap.

S: Gods and Monsters…catchy…can I get a word?

T: Are you stalking me now?

Tytan looks at Poe.

T: That’d be kinda awesome.

Selena smells the air.

SG: I smell skank. That skank smell is back.

S: Are you calling me a…

SG: It’s talking! I’ve always wanted a talking puppy!

Poe taps Selena on her leg to signal her to get off his lap. Selena hops down with a pout. Poe walks towards Sylvia and stands before her.

Poe: What do you want?

S: I think all of the OOWF wants to know why you have teamed with Tytan.

Poe: Why not? Tytan reminds me a lot of me at his age. Tall, strong, insanely talented. He just needs direction from someone who has seen all the wrestling world could possibly throw at him. I felt it was time for a new protégé after my last one…well…you’ve met the Boy haven’t you? Not one of my finer moments. How he has found success here is beyond me.

S: So instead of targeting Alexander Darling, you’re now targeting the tag team titles? Surely some one of your pedigree would be aiming for the world title?

Selena is circling Sylvia, sniffing and staring at her.

Poe: My goals have not changed. I said I’d make every one that aligned with the Boy feel my wrath. Davin Moreland, Bunny, and Carl from Fresno have done so. Now, it is time for Phantos and Lucious to do the same. I’ve already had one run-in with them. They did not impress me. If by dealing them massive amounts of pain I can win a championship and help my new protégé here along with his career, even better.

Tytan stands and joins Poe and Sylvia.

T: Phantos and Lucious…you have been spared this week. This week the Cape Town Cannibals will see exactly what Gods and Monsters are capable of. But don’t worry; we’ll save some for you. Division killers my ass…

Selena jumps up and down, clapping at Tytan saying ‘ass’

S: One more question Poe before I leave…

Poe: Make it quick.

S: The OOWF is buzzing about FireWoman’s actions. What is your take on it?

Poe: I’m actually quite proud of her. She manipulated everyone around her to get what she wanted. Bravo. That being said, it’s about as low as one could go. I’m not even sure I would have sunk so low. But she’ll have to face up to her sins in her own time. They are of no concern to me. But Lisa…

Poe stares into the camera.

Poe: Once I am done with Phantos and Lucious…unless something changes…it looks like you’re next on my list. Enjoy your shiny, or should I say sparkly new title. You’ll be hearing from me soon. Namasdeh.

Tytan stands next to Poe and poses with his arms crossed. Selena stands in front of both of them with her arms outstretched like Vanna White.

SG: Gods and Monsters…Nevermore.

Selena then blows a kiss and waves bye to Sylvia.

[Lou]

Sept 10, 2008 20:04:09 GMT -5 Eric O'Mac said:

Eric: NOW....I want you to watch this, Lou.

You might notice your karma is now a positive.

[Concrete TG]

(a bloodied but bandaged CTG is sitting in LJ Bennett's office. Mr. Bennett is looking over the match contract for the anniversary show as well as the blueprint of Crete's "Stygian prison")

LJB: How do you like to say it...? "Not terribly heroic" of you.

CTG: but I'm sure the match interests you. I have already received Rick's approval on this.

LJB: of course, you would go to your.... "Boss" before coming to me. I'm surprised you're here at all.

CTG: That's how important this match is to me, Mr. Bennett.

LJB: I'm sure. (signs some of the papers) There's no specific request here for a referee. Have you lost confidence in Mr. Glaw?

CTG: No- but I think you'll need more than one referee out there.

LJB: I'm not sure I follow

CTG: For the Prison portion of this match, we will need more than one ref - one brave enough to be inside the cage, one or two outside the cage for escapes, and one to keep track of time. (Crete stands, wobbles, and gently places one hand on the layout) when the explosive reaches 30 seconds, I want all the referees away from the Prison. They're not to re-enter the area until the smoke clears. No one else deserves to be injured because of my issues with Moosehead Jack.

LJB: interesting... but what if a pinfall happens during that 30 seconds?

CTG: Do you think in this part of the battle we'll be looking for pinfalls?

LJB: .... Has Moosehead Jack actually seen this blueprint?

CTG: I'll leave that with you so he can.

LJB: and do you honestly think he'll say "yes" to such a barbaric structure?

CTG: Not only will he accept it, but he will celebrate the notion and perception that I've come down to his level. Quite the contrary - as I told Rick, Moose is too dark to completely dissipate in the brightest light. So, I'm going to lower the lights a little bit to bring him into the open, and we'll see just how long he lasts.

LJB: I'll make sure he sees this.

CTG: Thank you, Mr. Bennett. (turns to leave)

LJB: Oh, and one more thing..... you surprise me by even coming in here, much less coming in here peacefully.

CTG: I want this war to end, Mr. Bennett. There's no sense in escalating things any further.

[Demko]

We open on the scene of SYB and Skurge sitting in their seats on Air Canada flight #816. The camera pans across the aisleway, where The Amnesiac sits. He's wearing a t-shirt that says "It's Against The Rules to Throw Other People's Heads". He's watching his video iPod. He's got headphones on. SYB looks across the aisle and tries to get Amnesiac's attention. The Amnesiac pauses his video, takes off his headphones and looks at SYB.

Amn: Yes?
SYB: Is that Rikki Tikki Tavi you're watching over there?
Amn: No.

Skurge looks up and over at Amnesiac's iPod.

Skurge: No way, man. That's The Dark Crystal.
SYB: No, Skurge. The Dark Crystal had muppets.
Skurge: Oh. Wait... really?
SYB: Yeah... the two creepy muppets that ran around, fighting with the Skexis. Totally Jim Henson.
Skurge: Fair enough. So what is that, then?
Amn: This? This is Watership Down.
SYB: Oh yeah! About the rabbits.
Amn: Exactly. I figure since we're taking on Insane Homeless Bunny for the 15th time in like, three weeks, I thought I'd watch a couple of insane homeless bunnies on my video iPod in preparation.

The camera pans out a bit further to see Fezzik sitting in the row behind The Amnesiac, taking up all three seats in the row. He's wearing a second set of headphones leading up from The Amnesiac's iPod and his head is butted up against the ceiling above the seats. He stares down at The Amnesiac intently.

Fezzik: Can we keep watching now? The bloody parts are coming up.
Amn: Gimme a break here, Fezzik. I'm talking to my tag team partners over here.
SYB: Tag team? Wait a second here... what are you talking aboot?
Amn: I mean, our 6-man tag team. We're totally a team, aren't we guys?
Skurge: Muppets? Seriously?
SYB: Yes Skurge... now shut up! Listen here, THE Amnesiac. IHOP is a tag team. We're just doing this Champignon de Triads thing because they booked us that way. You are, in no way, a part of IHOP.

The Amnesiac looks a little crestfallen. Fezzik just looks confused. The rest of the passengers visible to the camera just look annoyed. After a few moments of awkward silence, SYB speaks.

SYB: Alright, fine. You're in... but you're only a member until we lose these belts, alright?
Amn: Well then, I guess I'd better guarantee we never lose these belts then, huh?

SYB just rolls his eyes. The Amnesiac turns back on his iPod. Skurge turns to SYB.

Skurge: I thought the muppets were in Labyrinth.
SYB: LABYRINTH! That's the word I could have spelled instead of LABIA! Dammit. It's not fair!
Skurge: You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is.

SYB just stares at Skurge as the camera fades to black.

[Jack Quinn]

<Moosehead Jack is sitting in his locker room watching some old IWA King of the Deathmatch DVD looking for new ideas when LJ Bennett walks in with the papers from Crete>

LJB: Moose, we have to talk

MHJ: Why?

LJB: Look, Crete just brought me a contract for a 3 Stages of Hell match between you two at Hell on Earth IV, they are.......

<Moose snatches the papers from Bennett and without even looking them over, signs them>

LJB: What are you doing!

MHJ: I'll take the match

LJB: But.....you didn't even LOOK at it!

MHJ: Don't need to. There is nothing Crete can come up with that I won't do. In fact, knowing him, its probably not all that bad anyway. He doesn't have it in him to go that extra little bit to make things interesting

LJB: I think you may be wrong on this one

MHJ: Fine, what are the matches then?

LJB: Well, the first is a submission match....

MHJ: Been there, done that

LJB: The second match is a hardcore falls count anywhere match

MHJ: Again, nothing out of the ordinary there

LJB: The third is a Stygian Cage Match

MHJ: What the hell is that?

<As Bennett explains, Moose's eyes glaze over and he gets a strange grin on his face. Bennett tries to get Moose's attention a few times, but Moose appears to be deeply lost in thought. After a few more attempts, Bennett appears to get a little creeped out and slowly backs out the door>

[The Jewish Cunthead]

<Fade back into Air Canada flight #816. SYB and Skurge are still playing Scrabble on laptops… The Amnesiac is watching Better Off Dead.>

Amn: This is pure snow!

SYB (looking at the scrabble board): QI? What the fuck is that?

Skurge: Don't get pissy with me, I wasn't the one who tried to put "a" in front of "boot".

SYB: I'm just trying to learn your culture. It's like the old saying "when in Rome".

Skurge: Yes? Please go on.

SYB: Never mind.

Amn: Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?

Skurge (obviously bored): Say Solly, when we got on board, did you notice the name "Lao Che Air Freight" on the side of the plane?

SYB (a look of horror is on his face): That means...

Skurge (loving his joke): That means we have to get off this plane.

SYB (panicking): OK! Let's go! We'll all get on top of Fezzik.

Skurge: Wait a minoote, I was kidding.

SYB: No time to argue, throw me de idol, I give you de whip!

Skurge: What?

SYB: I mean, let's go! Women and Joos first~! <He runs back to get Fezzik and The Amnesiac and the 3 of them slide open the plane door. Emergency sirens go off, the masks fall down, people are screaming, all fucking hell is breaking loose.>

SYB: Skurge! Let's go!

Skurge: This should be interesting. Fuck it. <He runs to the door and all 4 men jump out of the plane. A random flight attendant closes the door and Air Canada flight #816 keeps flying on as if nothing happened.>

<SYB, Skurge, and The Amnesiac are locked together on top of Fezzik as they free fall out of control>

The Amn: Are those rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If they are, we'll all be dead.

Skurge: Aim for the water!

<SPLASH~! The four land in what appears to be a calm body of water>

SYB: That wasn't so bad, was it?

Skurge: YOU EH-HOLE! Don't you know what's near St. Catharines?

SYB: This lake?

Skurge: This isn't a lake...

Amn: Hey guys, why is the water disappearing ahead?

Skurge: Because Shylock Holmes here just convinced us to jump out of a plane and into Niagara Falls...


*FADE OUT*

[Deadly]

[The Dead is WALKING~! down the hallway and happens to bump into Firewoman.]

Dead: Nice little acting job, there.

Fire: Thanks, it was pretty good, wasn't it?

Dead: You can stand there and be as cocky as you want. You can smirk, and smile, and gloat all day. But at the end of the day, the facts remain the same.

Fire: And what, exactly, are those facts?

Dead: Fact. Eric was right. You deserve to be suspended, but you've spent so much time with Rick behind closed doors that I'm sure he won't do anything.

Fire: Look, you're about this close to me putting my foot up your...

Dead: Whatever. The second, and more important, fact is that, just like Rick, you are a fucking coward.

Fire: That's it, you're dead.

Dead: Now, it seems as though the Board is giving you a pass on one attack, but do you think they'd turn a blind eye to two in back-to-back days? Not likely.

[Rage fills Fire's eyes, but she doesn't throw a punch. At least not yet.]

Dead: You can bitch and moan about how "your" belt was stolen from you. Thing is, you did the same fucking thing. If you think Alan is scum, well then, I guess that makes you scum too.

Fire: Look, if you've got a point, make it. Otherwise, I see no reason in wasting my time here.

Dead: You want a point? The point is, you complain about that belt like a little girl who lost her dolly. "Wah, it's not fair!" You've screwed Alan out of it, and before that you screwed me out if it. After I'm done ending the careers of these low-lifes I'm lined up against, I'm coming back for what is mine.

Fire: I'd like to see you try.

Dead: Oh, you will. In the meantime, go ahead and keep it nice and safe for me. It'd be a shame for me to have to destroy someone else for that belt.

[Dead and Fire stare each other down for a moment before beginning to part ways.]

Dead: Oh, and Fire?

[Firewoman turns around.]

Dead: Watch your fucking back.

[The Dead laughs as he heads down the hallway and out of sight.]

[Demko]

Fade in on a very soggy foursome. SYB, Skurge, The Amnesiac and Fezzik are all standing on what looks like the edge of a cliff. All four are soaked to the bone.

SYB: Well, it's a good thing that flock of Canadian geese came along at the last second.

Skurge: It sure is. Now we're here on this cliff ledge, awaiting someone to come and rescue us.

Amn: Wait a second... can't we call someone to come help us?

SYB pulls a very wet looking cellphone out of his pocket and shrugs.

Amn: Oh dammit! That means my iPod is waterlogged too. Well NOW what are we gonna do?

Fezzik: I say we play 'Name that movie quote!' What movie is this from? "I coulda been a contender!"

SYB: Easy... On the Waterfront. Ok, my turn... "No disassemble!"

Amn: SHORT CIRCUIT! Love it... how about this one?

Skurge: No wait... I've got a movie quote for all of you. GET ME THE FUCK OOT OF HERE!

The Amnesiac, SYB and Fezzik all look at one another, scratching their heads. Finally The Amnesiac speaks up.

Amn: I have no idea. I think you've stumped us.

Skurge: That particular quote was uttered by Skurge in the 'How The Fuck Do We Get Rescued' movie, released by Touchstone Pictures last month.

Amn: Actually, Disney doesn't release movies through Touch-

Skurge: Amnesiac... look at this face.

Amn: That's THE Am-

Skurge: I don't give a shit. Look at this face. Does this look like a concerned face? It does? Well, that's because I'm very concerned right now.

Amn: Aboot what?

Skurge: Well, if you hadn't noticed, we're standing here on a cliff in the middle of Niagara Falls. There's really no chance of a rescue at the moment... so either way, we're going to be here a while. We're standing here with a giant, who is looking pretty hungry right now, by the way.

Fezzik: I could always eat.

Skurge: So there's the possibility of us getting cannibalized. Plus the fact that I'm FUCKING SCARED OF HEIGHTS!

AMN and SYB: You are?

SYB: I didn't know that. How do you explain you being the first one to jump out of the plane, then?

Skurge: You had me absolutely convinced we were in danger. It was my survival instinct taking over.

Suddenly, there is a noise coming from over the edge of the cliff. The ninja cameraman moves over to the edge and films over the cliff face. There is a man in black, with a black mask covering his eyes, hanging from the sheer rock-face of the cliff. The camera comes back up. SYB, Amn and Skurge all look over at Fezzik.

Amn: Friend of yours?

Fezzik: Oh... that's Wesley.

The three other men slap themselves on the forehead as the camera fades to black.

[Attitude Adjuster]

AA stands in front of an OOWF banner, still looking shaken, but definitely not stirred.

SFJ #36: Last week you were the victim of a fake pregnancy angle and lost your Onslaught Title to Firewoman. This week in St. Catherines, Ontario, Canada (cheap pop!) you have a chance to win that title back when you face Onslaught Champion Firewoman, plus Seamus McNasty and Tyson Kincaid in a 4-Way Dance.

AA: You’re looking a little chunky, 36. You’re not pregnant, are you? I didn’t do it! I did not have sexual relations with this woman! It’s not my fault!

SFJ #36: Screw you, I’m not pregnant.

AA: No, I’m not screwing you! Never! EVER! Do we have any male Sexy Female Journalists around here?

Donnie Viper: YOU’RE A HOMO!

AA: Screw you, Donnie. Like you’ve ever had to go through a fake pregnancy angle before.

SFJ #36: So it seems you mind is clearly not on the match this week.

AA: My mind is where it should be: On making AA money and making the OOWF as profitable as it should be with me as its top star. Just remember, titles don’t make AA. AA makes titles. I was just doing the OOWF a favor for the last two months in escalating the Onslaught title to where it is today. Before me, the belt was held by a bunch of psychos and nobodies, and that lying skank of a whore, Firewoman.

SFJ #336: Eric O’Mac held that title, too. Is he a psycho or a nobody?

AA: Eric O’Mac held that title with pride. But even he could only do so much with it. That’s why he dumped it for better things.

SFJ #36: So you’re saying you’re better than the Onslaught title?

AA: I’m saying I make every belt better just by being near it. In fact, hang on just a second.

(AA walks off screen. We hear him call out, “Hey, you! Freaky looking dude. Yeah, you. Come over here for a second.” Suddenly we here a scuffle, some clangy polls go clangy, a man’s voice gargling and a random female scream. AA returns with the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship.)

SFJ #36: Did you just defeat Eddie Izzard for the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship?

AA: You are correct. And before I did that, when was the last time this belt was relevant?

SFJ #36: Hmmm…I’m not sure.

AA: I’ll tell you when! It was July 7, 2008, when I beat that Skank Whore Firewoman for this belt. And now I have it again, for the fifth time. So, OOWF, it’s time to make the DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship relevant again. I’m taking on all comers. It doesn’t matter who you are! McNasty, you want a shot at this title at Midweek Mayhem? Just say the word! Kincaid! You want some? LD Williams? Bring it! LD’s Momma? That’s right, I said it! I’ll make it a habit of knocking women around! Phantos, Lucios? I’m still looking for you guys! I’ll take on anyone, from anywh…

Just then AA is BLINDSIDED BY STANK!!!! SFJ #36 screams and drops the microphone, and the camera follows Stank and AA as they brawl through the back and out a side door of the arena. The camera goes black, as apparently it’s one of those old cameras with an electrical cord, and the plug pulled out of the socket. Otherwise I have no idea how to end this promo.

[karmic]

*OOC*

<As Bennett explains, Moose's eyes glaze over and he gets a strange grin on his face. Bennett tries to get Moose's attention a few times, but Moose appears to be deeply lost in thought. After a few more attempts, Bennett appears to get a little creeped out and slowly backs out the door>

yeah.....I really, REALLY needed a Mosse orgasm to be one of the first things I see on the board today. Thanks so very much.

*OOC*

[blownspot]

<CTG is in his locker room when he hears commotion out in the hallway. He opens the door to find Attitude Adjuster running down the hall, fleeing for his life, DDT Iron Man Heavy Metal title belt in hand. Crete looks in the direction Alan ran from and stalking down the hall behind him is Stank, looking a bit disheveled from his fight earlier with Attitude Adjuster. Stank spots Crete looking out his door and stops in front of the hero.>

Stank - I need to talk to you.

CTG - ... come in.

<Stank follows CTG inside his locker room. Crete seats himself by a desk. Stank picks up and unfolds a steel chair then si- ...>

CTG - NOT CHAIR! He hasn't recovered yet from...

<Stank glares at Crete, tosses CHAIR aside, grabs another steel chair, unfolds it and shoots a look at CTG before seating himself. The two men sit in silence for a few seconds...>

CTG - Look cit- Stank. I hope you've come to the realization that I have had NOTHING to do with the bounty on you.

<Stank sits there and continues to stare at Crete. Moments pass... then... >

Stank - Why is Blackdragon not in the States with Lexie?

CTG - ...

Stank - Are you SERIOUSLY going to sit there and not tell me?

CTG - What did Rick say?

Stank - ...

CTG - ...

Stank - Rick is being as evasive on that front as you.

CTG - If Rick didn't tell you then I can't.

Stank - GOT DAMMIT CRETE!

CTG - Look I would like to tell you... I really wish I could... but I made a promise.

Stank - Fuck your PROMISE! Just tell me one thing... does his being here have ANYTHING to do with my brother or NOT?

CTG - *Sigh* I can't tell you that either.

Stank - ... you better tell me.

CTG - Or what?

<Stank JUMPS out of his seat SO FAST it startles the heck out of CTG, who in an effort to get away, falls backwards over his seat, hitting his head on the desk and knocking the hero into semi-consciousness!! Stank walks over to Crete's limp body and stares down at the man. He thinks about helping him up, but changes his mind and simply walks out the locker room. He walks down the hall and rounds a corner. He walks a few more steps toward the Destroyitarium when he hears someone running up behind him. He turns and is PASTED by CHAIR!!! in the face. Stank is OUT! as he falls to floor. The camera pans up to see who the assailant is but only catches the back of a boot at the hallway corner. The camera pans down and shows Crete's cape draped over Stank's unconscious body, then shoots up as the ninja cameraman tries to round the corner in order to catch a glimpse of the unknown assailant. The last thing the camera catches is Crete's door slamming shut as the image fades to black.>

[Road Warrior Shark]

“God Blessed Texas” begins to play across the arena. The OOWF World Tag Team Champions stroll to ringside; their championships worn around their waists. Lucios is carrying a large canvas bag. Phantos grabs a couple of microphones from the announce desk and they hit the ring.

Phantos: Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Canada!

Lucios: Once again, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here to put one of “Top Five Tag Teams in OOWF History” Behind us.

Phantos: Two weeks ago, we addressed the idea that the Heels were a better team than Lucios and I, and that idea Went Down in Flames.

Lucios: This week, the second of the “Top Five Tag Teams in OOWF History” gets its due. They are two of the most decorated wrestlers in this company’s history. Between the two of them, they have 2 World Championship reigns, 4 Intercontinental Championship reigns, 2 other Tag Team Championship reigns, and an Onslaught Championship. Together, they held these Tag Team Championships for 80 days. 2 Years Ago. The last time they teamed together? They Lost.

(Lucios points to the sky and we see a huge crate being lowered from the rafters. As it hits the ring, Lucios begins to unchain it. Phantos grabs the canvas bag and produces a crowbar. He goes to work prying the crate apart. We see cloth-draped figures inside the crate.)

Phantos: Individually, they are great wrestlers. But it takes more than 2 great wrestlers to make a Great Team. Ladies and Gentlemen, kinzen zansatsu!

(Lucios grabs the cloth and pulls it away, revealing two life-sized statues of Moosehead jack and LD Williams.)

Phantos: Before we commence, I think there someone who deserves to be a part of this too.

“Pull Me Under” fires up and Davin Moreland heads to the ring. He greets his Run DLP comrades and leads the crowd in a round of applause.

Davin: kz has a great legacy in the OOWF. But when you put them side by side with The Division Killers, They simply don’t Measure Up

Lucios: 80 Days as Champions. Very impressive kz. But not quite impressive enough. As of Today, Phantos & Lucios have been World Tag Team Champions for 81 days. And Still Counting! Gentlemen…

(Phantos opens the canvas bag and produces three barbed-wire covered baseball bats. Each man in the ring takes one and They begin taking turns smashing the porcelain statues to pieces. Davin has a look of pure rage in his eyes as he levels the LD Williams statue with his first shot. The destruction continues for several minutes, until the ring, arena floor, and several rows of wildly cheering fans are covered in porcelain dust. “Walk this Way” strikes up and the 3 men head to the back.

[Concrete TG]

(Senior Ref Mel Creech is in Bennett's office)

Mel: you wanted to see me?

LJB: I called you in here regarding one of the matches coming up. I know it's still a few weeks away but I think you're going to need some extra time to prepare for it.

Creech: I appreciate the advance notice but what's so big that I need to know about this far ahead?

LJB: I'm sure you've heard the rumor about Moose and Crete having a three stages to hell match

Creech: Been there, done that

LJB: Are you sure? (hands Creech a list) this is what we'll need for Stage Three.

Creech: (reads the list over.... then looks up in shock) Bennett, are you crazy? You actually let Moosehead JAck put together a match like this? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a goodly bit of carnage, but this is just too much!

LJB: Mel, this wasn't Moose. This was Crete's idea

Creech: Bullshit. Crete doesn't do this crap anymore. Glaw told him not to and that superhero brain is stuck on "lawful whitebread!"

<Bennett shows Creech the contract, drawn up by Crete>

Creech: (reading it over) "this is insane.... this is genius... there is no way that 'mighty hero' crete could have thought up something this destructive on his own.

LBJ: I didn't think so either. I believe Moose has finally cracked that concrete

Creech: some of this stuff's gonna require permits - no guarantees on half of what he's askin for

LJB: Well then YOU tell him he can't have it. I have Crete, half insane on one side, and Moose salivating at the thought of this match on the other. I am not dealing with EITHER of them more than I have to

Creech: (takes out a calculator and adds up what it's going to cost for bennett) and this includes the permits I'm gonna need to get the acid and c-4

LJB: (looks at the bill) Send it to Rick, let HIM present it to the suits

Creech: thought you were above Rick

LJB: I am. Which is why I am telling you to let HIM do this

Creech: (smirks) riiight..... (looks at the "Shopping list") this oughta send Glaw round the bend, too

LJB: Look, just get it done. That's all that matters. By the end of the night, Crete will be in traction, and Team Rick will be beaten bloody and defeated. Consider this their dying request

Creech: Yessir (pockets the calculator and list and strides off to watch Rick freak out)

[Fire-Babe]

The camera cuts in to a meeting in the Run-DEA Suites by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. Things appear to be somewhat tense.

P: All I’m saying is, as Team Captain, I should have been told.

FW: Oh, right. Then you would tell Lucios, who would let it slip to Davin…. It wouldn’t have worked.

L: I would not.

DM: Yeah, you probably would have.

FW: And the damn ninja cams are everywhere. Every time I thought about telling someone on the team there was a ninja cam around. So really, I’m sorry that I kept you all out of it.--

P: What about your locker room? I mean, you took Alexander in there, violating a months-long ban on that, and no ninja cams followed you in, to tell him ‘the happy news.’

FW: Well, I wasn’t sure about that. There have been plenty of things that took place in my locker room that managed to make it on OOWF-TV.

Everyone nods in agreement. Alexander is leaning against the wall, legs and arms crossed.

P: Still, as team captain—

FW: Oh would you get off that? Team Captain means… well, I don’t know what it means, but it doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything that goes through my head.

DM: Okay, enough. This hardly falls into the category of ‘everything that goes through you head.” We’re not talking your grocery list, here, or whether there’s a sale at your favorite fetish store. You faked a pregnancy, and got the fake father to…. Got the father to……right there in the ring….

Suddenly, Davin bursts into laughter. Everyone in the room is quiet for a moment, but slowly they start to join in. Soon, everyone in the room is laughing, even Alexander, except Firewoman who is merely smiling.

P: Really, the look on his face was amazing, Fire.

L: Indeed, that was quite possibly the best part.

DM: No…no….the best, I mean…on bended knee….”Somehow we’ll make Jericho understand”….

The laughter continues until finally Davin composes himself. He walks slowly up to Firewoman who stands, defiant as always, and meets him eye to eye. The room grows quiet.

DM: After Japan, I told you to never lie to me again.

FW: I didn’t exactly—

DM: No more rationalizing. Yes, you did, exactly. I understand the extenuating circumstances here, so I’m willing to let it go, but I mean it this time. That’s it. What are you doing with all the stuff I bought you?

FW: It’s already been returned and your account credited.

DM: Oh…well…fine then.

FW: Really… everyone….I’m sorry I didn’t let you know. But I really didn’t think it would work, otherwise. Besides, I didn’t want any repercussions to be on you all, with Hell on Earth IV coming up. It’s bad enough Eric is pushing for my suspension—

P: But it’s not your job to make those deci—

AD: Enough. It’s fine. I understand.

DM: What?

L: You do?

AD: Sure. There’s a fucking ninja cam right here now, see?

They all turn and stare at the camera for a moment.

DM: Yeah. If any of us had been in on it, we’d likely be in trouble too.

FW: Well, I don’t know…Eric is just trying to stop me--

DM: From what? What?

FW: Nothing.

DM: Did I not just say—

FW: It’s nothing I can confirm yet, okay? Really, I know it’s hard to ask, but trust…er, believe me on this. I’ll let you know when I’m sure.

P: Okay, I think we’re done here. I wanna go watch the whole thing on tape again.

L: Me too!

Phantos and Lucios leave to head to the Sony Multimedia Center. Davin locks eyes with Firewoman one more time and starts to head out with Samantha, who kind of lingers behind a little bit. Firewoman walks to a strangely silent Alexander.

FW: I’m sorry.

AD: It’s fine. I didn’t want to be a godfather anyway.

FW: That was one of the times I was going to tell you, then I saw the camera.

AD: Uh huh. And, my debit card?

FW: C’mon, Alex…I swear….

AD: Okay, geez. It’s fine. It makes perfect sense, now. I understand.

FW: Really?

AD: Yes. Now…about my debit card?

FW: Oh yeah…here.

Firewoman hands him a check for a large amount of money. Alexander takes it, and stares at the name that signed it. His face changes, almost imperceptibly, but it’s clear he is not happy.

AD: I am not taking his money.

FW: Oh geez, what is it with you two?

Alexander starts to rip it up, but Samantha stops him.

SD: You’re seriously ripping up money?

AD: I don’t want anything from that assclown.

SD: Oh, then give it to me, you won’t even have to touch it.

AD: Fine.

He gives her the check, and she then leaves with Davin.

AD: Okay, actually I’m a little impressed. But don’t let it happen again.

FW: I won’t…Trus—er, believe me.

AD: Yeah…that’s two now.

[blownspot]

<It is a cool Rhode Island evening as Niles Anderson walks around to the back of a Black Ford Escalade. He opens the only undamaged section of the SUV and pulls out some rope. He hands the rope to Donovan Viper who takes it and skips across the street to two unconscious people lying next to one another by the side of the road. They are hurt pretty bad, covered in dirt and blood, but still breathing, still alive, if not aware of what has happened to them.

Viper rolls Alexis Darling over onto her stomach and tapes her hands behind her back. The former OOWF World Champion then kicks 3-Piece Set founder and former member of Drink & Destroy, Ax-Man, in the head!>

NA - Don't kill him, Donnie!

DV - He was waking up!

NA - Neither one of them is in ANY condition to fight back! Bennett is sending a helicopter. Turns out he has a home nearby in Newport. We'll clean them up, take them there, and await Bennett's arrival.

DV - His ARRIVAL...??? Isn't he STILL overseas!?

NA - The OOWF have made their way to Canada. He'll be here in a couple of hours.

DV - Fan-fucking-tastic! I don't know about you, but I'm kind of sick of this shit.

NA - The money is good.

DV - Yeah... but this is getting kind of serious, knowwhatImean?

<Niles looks over at the damaged front end of their SUV. It's one remaining, working, headlight shining awkwardly and pointing into the night sky. He then turns and looks over at the headlights of an overturned car, 20 feet down an incline off the side of Highway 114.>

NA - Yeah... I kind of didn't sign up for this.

DV - How pissed off is Bennett?

NA - Whatever these two found... wherever they were headed. They were getting close. Bennett was livid.

DV - No he was livid when he found out they made it to Arizona. Now I bet he's thermonuclear.

NA - Whatever. You need to climb down there and kill the lights on their car before someone comes by and gets too curious.

DV - Fuck that noise. You climb down. I'm busy tying these two together.

NA - It's your fault their car is down there! Shit we're lucky they survived!

DV - Fuck you! I'm not going down there again.

NA - You didn't HAVE to hit them and run them off the fuckin road!

DV - How else were we going to get them to STOP?

NA - I... You know what...? Fuck it. I'll go. Dick.

DV - Ass.

NA - HOMO!

DV - I AM NOT a HOMO!

<Niles Anderson throws his hands up in disgust, steps by the twisted off remains of a steel guardrail, and begins his descent down toward Ax-Man and Alexis Darling's rental.>

___________

Four days ago
___________


Alexis - I’m not afraid of anything... .... .... I didn’t leave because of him... .... ... .. ...FUCK YOU! .... ... .... .. ..... Fine, I’ll call him and tell him to get his head out of his ass. You deal with that other thing and make sure it doesn’t blow up in your faces .... ... ... .... ... Don’t tell me to trust you. It’s tacky and no one ever believes it. It makes you sound like a stupid movie villain. ... ... I’ll think about it. I should go before anyone comes in .... ... ... ... There is no one in the shower.... ... You don’t hear anything. I have to go.

Bye.

<Alexis ends her call with her brother and sets the cell phone down by the sink. She looks up into the vanity mirror at her reflection. Her white bathrobe is slightly opened at the chest. As she adjusts the towel wrapped around her head, Ax-Man walks out the bathroom, strolling past behind her with a towel wrapped around his bottom half. Alexis notices from the mirror, the scars of battle crisscrossed over Ax-Man's upper torso.>

Ax-Man - Like what you see?

Alexis - Shut up.

Ax-Man - *Hmmph*

Alexis - Get dressed. Our flight leaves in two hours.

Ax-Man - So that's it? We're just going to give up?

Alexis - Even if what Sydney told us is true... We can't prove it.

Ax-Man - What about that doctor he mentioned?

Alexis - He died. He'd succumb to the cancer two days ago according to my source in Providence.

Ax-Man - Fuck.

Alexis - I know, right? He was probably our only shot.

Ax-Man - Did he have family?

Alexis - A daughter.

Ax-Man - So there will be a funeral assuming the daughter was close to her father. Maybe we should stop by... pay our respects?

Alexis - That won't accomplish anything.

Ax-Man - It's better than just giving up. After everything that's happened, after how far we've come... how can we not see this through to the end?

Alexis - I'm tired... I miss my brother and my friends. And this... this is bigger than I ever thought it would be.

Ax-Man - From what Stank told me the stakes were high before you even started.

Alexis - But THIS...? If we can prove what Shale told us... it won't only get rid of Bennett... it could potentially end the OOWF. And despite everything... I've grown quite fond of that company. Even with... Poe... there.

Ax-Man - I think you're overstating things a bit.

Alexis - How can you stand there knowing what I know and think I'm overstating things???

Ax-Man - Look, I'll admit, this is big. But if there's one thing I know... if the OOWF has survived for THIS long after all the shit we've pulled... it will definitely survive... this.

<Alexis looks over at the expression on Ax-Man's face and is amused by what she sees.>

Alexis - You're such a moron.

Ax-Man - I know.

<Ax removes his towel to dry off his hair.>

Alexis - UGGH! Put your towel back on and take your tiny prick somewhere else.

Ax-Man - Hey! The water was cold!

Alexis - You mean to TELL me I DON'T have any HOT WATER EITHER???

Ax-Man - I would have called management, but I really needed to get that pig smell off of me... and I didn't want to walk back to my room.

Alexis - I think I really, really hate you.

Ax-Man - You "think?" Wow does this mean my charms are starting t-

Alexis - It MEANS get dressed. I have to see if we can get a flight into Rhode Island tonight.

Ax-Man - Alright! Good! You won't regret this. I know we'll find something there.

Alexis - We'd better. I'm ready to get this over with... and I don't like Rhode Island... it reminds me too much of... Poe.

Ax-Man - Hey what's the worst that could happen?

<Fade>

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*FADE BACK IN TO THE CONTINUING SAGA OF IHOP & AMNESIAC...

Amn: Hey, it's THE Amnesiac!

<Sorry>

SYB <to Westley> : What are you looking at, Johnny Cash?

W: Sorry. I've never seen a N.O.U.S. before.

SYB: What's a N.O.U.S.?

W: A nose of unusual size.

SYB: FUCK OFF! <He dropkicks Westley off the cliff>

W <falling>: AAAAAAAS YOUUUUUUU WIIIIIIIISH

<SYB gets up from the ground and dusts himself off>

SYB: That's how I roll.

Skurge: Well done, partner.

Amn: This is a cliff of insanity.

Fezzik: I'm still really hungry <he shoots SYB a look>.

SYB: Don't look at me, bruddah. I'm only aboot 150 lbs.

Skurge: Yeah but that nose will last for days, weeks even.

SYB: Dood. You're not helping. This is your country, you should know what to do.

Skurge: There is ONE thing... but it's risky.

Amn: Whatever it is, let's try it. We have those Cumpleanos De Tres titles to defend!

SYB: That's Cabanas De Trees, fook.

Skurge: Quiet, both of you. I need to concentrate.

<Skurge looks upward and raises his hands to the Canadian sky>

Skurge: BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS~!

SYB: ...

Amn: ...

Fezzik: ...

Skurge: Be patient, eh?

Amn: Patient? We need to get to fuck out of here immed... Uncle Jonathon's corn cob pipe!

<The Amnesiac is cut off when The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth comes sailing out of the sky on a flying piece of Canadian bacon.>

Amn: Holy shit!

Skurge: Indeed.

SYB: Canadian bacon?

Skurge: That's back bacon up here, chief.

<The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth hops off the hovering slab of meat (shut it)>

DM: Hi boys!

Fezzik: Hello lady!

Amn: How did you find us?

DM: It wasn't that hard. I was in the first class section of the plane that you decided to jump from, for some reason.

<They all look at SYB>

SYB: It wasn't me, it was Skurge!

Skurge: Shut the fuck up, Joo boy!

SYB: But Lao Che!

<Skurge just shakes his head>

Amn: Too much to drink, Dr. Joones?

Skurge: Let's just get oot of here, eh?

*FADE OUT*

[Spinch]

W: Sorry. I've never seen a N.O.U.S. before.

SYB: What's a N.O.U.S.?

W: A nose of unusual size.

Exalt.

[fasteddie]

(The Lovely Lola has caught up with Tytan who is finally alone. )

Lola: Tytan now that we are alone can we have a chance for a couple of questions?

Tytan: Sure. I am fine with that. Now who are you?

Lola: My name is Lola, I am your new interviewer for the Tag-Team Division.

Tytan: (Checking her out) I guess I have been in the wrong division for awhile now.

Lola: Now, the first question..why Poe?

Tytan: Why not, we were both tired of the war, and having to be on this side or the other. We both lost focus in our careers, and we were both looking for some allies. Someone that we knew was going to watch each others back. He was also willing to treat me like an equal.

Lola: Fair enough. Now why Gods and Monsters?

Tytan: First off, look at the two of us. We are two of the biggest freaks in the OOWF which sets us above everyone else. Now as far as the Gods and Monsters...we will leave that for the fans to decide since there is a fine line between the two of them.

Lola: It seems Poe is starting to run off on you already.

Tytan: It's true. In this short time the two of us have been working together, I have learned a lot from him. I have begun to see things in a different light. And that will be what will make the difference in the end.

Lola: Difference in what?

Tytan: That you will have to wait and see this road has only started.

Lola: Any words for the division?

Tytan: Phantos and Lucios your days are numbered. That goes the same for the rest of your crew. Enemies of Poe have now become my enemies also. You call your selves Division Killers. Well the division has gotten a whole lot harder since we came a long. We will see you two in the ring real soon. We will start out on the CTC and they will be the start of what will eventually happen to you.

(From out of nowhere Poe and Selena appear.)

Poe: Tytan come on it's time to go while the night is still young.

(Tytan acknowledges Poe and starts to turn to head off. But before he does he looks into the camera.)

Tytan: Now the real countdown begins champs.

[wld]

**L.D. Williams is with SFJ#42, watching Run DLP’s promo.**

LD: “Well, that was interesting. Phantos, Lucios – you I’ll deal with in good time. You wanted my attention gentlemen…soon you’re going to wish you’d left well enough alone.

But for now, let’s talk about Mr. Moreland. Davin, believe it or not, I understand why you took part in that little display. You and I may respect each other, but that doesn’t mean we see eye to eye. If it wasn’t for the stupid cease fire, you and I would be beating the tar out of each other every minute of the day. In your position, I would have done the same thing.

Regardless, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about Davin. This week we’re in St. Catharines – about as close as the OOWF has ever gotten to where I spent most of my childhood. Some people would say that gives me the home field advantage. They’re wrong. I will have the home field advantage on Wednesday, but it has nothing to do with St Catharines.

I’ll have the advantage because we’re in a wrestling ring.

Davin, that ring, is my home. My yard. My kingdom. My world.

Let’s be honest - I’m not the biggest, I’m not the strongest, I’m not the most eloquent when I talk…but when I step through those ropes, I am the greatest of all time. I proved that when I won this belt from Stank, and when I defended it against him, and Cole, and OBJ, and Concrete, and Carl, and yes, even you.

This Wednesday, when you walk that aisle, you’re going to have to step back into my world, Davin, and in my world, there’s only one rule…


…Fear Me.”