[Jack Quinn]

OOWF Hell On Earth IV/4 Year Anniversary Show
Live! From Dayton, Ohio

<we open to a blank screen, the sound crackles on and we hear this followed by Civil War (minus the intro, I wanted the original dammit!) As the song plays, we get OOWF video clips played to go along with it
Look at your young men fighting <clips of various OOWF stars beating the hell out of one another>
Look at your women crying <Fire weeping crocodile tears, then grinning mischeviously>
Look at your young men dying <clips of GM the Rick being DECIMATED by Bennett’s team>
The way they've always done before

Look at the hate we're breeding <clip of Eric ranting against Team Rick, and GM the Rick>
Look at the fear we're feeding<clips of various men in the ring with a look of fear in their eyes>
Look at the lives we're leading <clips of beatings in the hallways, people lying bloody and unconscious>
The way we've always done before

My hands are tied<clip of Eric and Davin agreeing to the cease fire>
The billions shift from side to side <clip of The Amnesiac turning on Crete and siding with Team Bennett>
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride<clips of both sides celebrating>
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars
<As the last four lines go by we get escalating images of the war, atrocious beatings committed by both sides, just as the bloodshed and horror gets to its climax, it stops, and we hear Axl ask….>
What’s so civil about war anyway?
<pyro and ballyhoo to open and we cut immediately to the back where Eric is rallying his troops>

*The pay per view cold opens with a shot of all of Bennett's Army sitting down in chairs positioned in the locker room. All are dressed, ready to wrestle. While LJ Bennett is absent, Eric O'Mac, dressed in army gear, wearing cammoflauge face paint, stands up before the assembled group.*

Eric: I called this meeting because I thought it would be important to remind everyone why you are sitting here today as opposed to getting prepared for your match in a different locker room.

*We see Moosehead Jack, Chris Cole, Attitude Adjuster, and LD Williams in the front row, nodding along.*

Eric: I understand that the past nine months or so have not been easy for anyone in this company. We've had alliances broken up, we've all endured the physical scars that come with war, and there has even been a few casualties.

*We see Ryan Hardcore, sitting with The Dead and Blitz in the second row, nod along with the last statement, referring to his former partner.*

Eric: Hell, I've even heard complaints from all of you, mad because you don't understand what exactly is in it for you to be fighting this battle.

Let it be known that I have heard your complaints, and they will be dealt with in due time.

Let me remind you exactly why we are doing this.

For all of you who think that we are doing this for LJ Bennett, you couldn't be further from the truth.

Bennett is a figurehead, a damn good one, but he is replacable.

No, we are doing this FOR US.

*Some applause.*

Eric: We are doing this for the Chris Cole's of the world, for the Moosehead Jack's, for the Attitude Adjuster's. For all of those who have had to put up with Rick Scaia's shit for FAR TOO LONG.

*More applause.*

Eric: We are doing this to protect the younger guys in this locker room. To make sure that they get a fair shake in this company. To make sure they aren't passed over the way I was!

*We see Tyson Kincaid argreeing with Eric.*

Eric: Now, only a select few of us can represent everyone on my side tonight. Only a few of us can defend our position in the final battle.

But for the Moosehead Jack's, for the LD Williams, for the Tyson Kincaids, for The Dead and Blitz, keep in mind that your battles tonight are VERY important to our cause.

It is up to all of you to set the tone early! It is up to you to show those supporters of that hack that you don't appreciate their support of a guy who is willing to sell their future to push a less talented man!

Everyone of us in this room has the potential to main event an OOWF Pay-Per-View one day! And if it were up to Rick, we would all be in dark matches or not even in this company at all.

So, everyone, do your part. Go out there, give the world a piece of Bennett's Army. Show them what we are made of!

*Eric looks to Chris Cole, AA, and Ryan Hardcore.*

Eric: And if you do your part...we'll make sure you get the opportunity to prove your wealth in the future.

Eric: Don't do this for Bennett, don't do this for me....DO THIS FOR YOU! Let's go out there, let's take some names, let's kick some ass!

*Big applause and everyone stands up*

Eric: I started this war...now let's go finish it.

*All of Bennett's Army talks excitedly. Fade out.*

Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to HELL ON EARTH 4, which is also the OOWF’s 4 YEAR ANNIVERSAYR SHOW! Ladies and Gentlemen it is my honor and privilege to join you this evening on this historic occasion. To borrow a phrase, what a long strange trip it has been. Joining me, as always, are my esteemed colleagues Nash
Nash: You know Russ, when the OOWF first asked me to announce their pay per views, my first question was, “what’s an OOWF?” my second question was “how on earth can you possibly afford my salary?”Well somehow they have managed to pay me, none of the checks have bounced – unlike SOME promoter I will not name, and this place, yeah as weird as this sounds, this place has almost become like home. An incredibly dysfunctional home, but home nonetheless.
Russ: Well said Nash. Joining us as always, former ECW champion Razz
Razz: Russ, it is an honor to be here. You know, there once was another company that no one gave a chance to. Said there was no way they could survive in the back yard of the Big Dog in wrestling. Critics said they were too violent, they were to risqué, there was no way they could make it. Well they did. And tonight, the OOWF has proven they have made it too, and being a part of this for the last four years has been an amazing feeling. Watching them grow from running house shows in Toad Suck, Arkansas to running weekly shows in Mianus…..
Nash: Heh you said running shows in Mianus
Razz: I didn’t say a thing about your anus!
Nash: you said Mianus!
Razz: Not YOUR anus
Nash: Then whose anus?
Razz: NO ONE’S ANUS!
Nash: Did you know Attitude Adjuster got Firewoman pregnant in Mianus?
Razz: You can fit two people in your anus?
Nash: not your anus
Razz: Well I know, I can’t fit anyone in my anus
Nash: Why? Mianus is pretty big
Razz: So I have been told
Russ: If I could interrupt this OH SO enlightening discourse, we DO have a pay per view to discuss, and Firewoman wasn’t pregnant
Nash: What a SWERVE THAT was! Reminds me of the time I swerved Verne Gagne….
Razz: You convinced Verne that you got him pregnant?
Nash: What?
Russ: Can we save the flashbacks for later? Our opening segment features what should be the culmination of a years long feud.
Nash: That reminds me of the time when I……
Russ: NO!
Razz: Seriously though, the closest thing I can compare the feud between Moosehead Jack and Concrete TG to is the Raven-Tommy Dreamer feud. Those two could not be in the same area code and not end up fighting. That went on for YEARS. They both lost count of how much blood was spilled and how many stitches were needed to close wounds. One thing is for certain, neither man was ever really the same again
Nash: What I was GOING to say was it reminded me of the time I was in Georgia and saw the Tommy Rich-Buzz Sawyer feud. It didn’t last as long, but it was every bit as intense, and once it was finished, neither man was the same again.
Russ: They are scheduled to face off in three matches tonight, hopefully to settle this once and for all, the first match is a submission match, who does this match favor?
Razz: Does Crete even have a submission move? At least one that he has used recently? Crete is the more well rounded wrestler, I don’t think there is any question in that, but Moose has the actual submission move in the ji-endo, so I am going to give Moose the edge here.
Nash: The one thing that is really working in Crete’s favor is that, of the three matches, this is the one most closely resembling a wrestling match. I think in the end Crete will get the submission win here.
Russ: I think I am going to agree with Nash here. Moose is more likely to target a body part that will get him a win later in the evening, and the ji-endo is a consciousness-based submission, so there is really no need to work a body part for that. I see Moose targeting a body part and trying to do damage, but Crete counters that and traps Moose and gets a submission win. There is only one way to find out for sure, let’s head to the ring.

CONCRETE TG vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – 3 Stages of Hell Match 1: Submission Match

The two long time enemies are going to try and finally settle their differences tonight. They will meet three times, the first is a match that can only be won via submission. Moose comes out first and is heartily booed by the crowd. He slumps into the corner and waits for Crete. Concrete TG is announced next, and foregoes the normal superhero posturing and storms right to the ring, doesn’t even wait for the bell, but charges right to the corner where Moose sits slumped and immediately starts stomping away. Moose takes several stiff kicks to the chest and face before he bails out under the bottom rope. Crete won’t give Moose any time to collect himself, and bails out of the ring after him. On the outside, Crete grabs Moose by the back of the head and bounces his face off the Georgian Announce Table, then sends him to the floor with a clothesline. Showing uncharacteristic aggressiveness Crete grabs a near by chair and chokes Moose with it, I guess hoping that if Moose can’t breathe he will submit. This match is submission only, so there can be no count outs, no disqualifications, and no pinfalls. Crete eventually stops choking Moose and pulls him up and rolls him into the ring, Moose gets to his knees, holding his throat and gasping for air. Crete makes it into the ring just after, gets to his feet and catches Moose with a Shining Wizard to the back of the head, sending Moose face first to the canvas. Crete drives his knee into the small of Moose’s back and grabs his arms and pulls him back in a surfboard. Moose grunts in pain but refuses to give up. Crete keeps Moose in the move as long as he possibly can, yelling the whole time for him to give up, but Moose refuses to quit. Finally Crete releases the hold and Moose drops to the mat face first. With Moose down, Crete grabs him by the leg and flips him over, and drops several knees across the inside of Moose’s knee, then traps him in a spinning toe hold trying for the submission. Moose tries to free himself by reaching up and grabbing Crete by the hair and hammering him with shots to the temple, but Crete keeps the pressure on Moose’s knee and absorbs the shots. Crete turns the move into a figure four and screams at Moose to give up, but Moose snarls at Crete and makes it to the ropes forcing the break. Crete breaks, but doesn’t give moose a second to recover, grabbing his leg and pulling him to the middle of the ring, then snapping his leg and pulling the hamstring. Moose rolls on the mat in pain, and once again rolls under the ropes and falls to the floor. Once again, Crete keeps up the aggressiveness, and leaves the ring and grabs Moose again. This time, however, Moose grabs a hand full of tights and pulls Crete forward, slamming him face first into the ring post. Crete falls to the floor, clearly dazed, while Moose gets to his feet and tests the leg, which nearly buckles once he puts weight on it. Moose tries to stretch the leg out while Crete pulls himself to his feet using the apron. As Crete stands, Moose catches him with a boot to the midsection, then plants him on the floor with a swinging neckbreaker. Moose pulls Crete up and rolls him under the bottom rope and follows him in. Crete grabs the back of his head, and immediately Moose is on top of him, hammering him with rights and lefts to the face. Crete takes a defensive position, but that doesn’t keep a few shots from finding their target. Crete catches one shot to the temple that appears to daze him badly. Moose pulls Crete to his fet and grabs him in a waist lock, lifts him in the air, then drops him backward, the back of Crete’s head slams into the top turnbuckle and Crete falls forward and lands face down on the mat. Moose knows he has the upper hand now, and he hits the ropes, still showing a noticeable limp, and drops a knee across the back of Crete’s head. Jack pulls Crete to a sitting position and tries to twist his head off his shoulders, peppering it with occasional cross faces across the nose, and elbowdrops to the side of the neck. Crete yells out in pain, but will not submit. The crowd begins to cheer for Crete and he fights his way to his feet and lands a couple of elbows to the midsection, momentarily stunning Moose. Crete frees himself and sends Moose to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon. Moose drops an elbow across the back of Crete’s neck, then grabs him and hits a PILEDRIVER in the center of the ring! Crete is OUT! Moose turns Crete over and tries the ji-endo, but Crete comes back around and fights it, biting Moose’s arm to free himself. Crete takes a chunk of Moose’s arm and spits it across the ring. Blood flows from the injury as Moose breaks the hold and grabs his arm. Crete drags himself to the corner and uses the ropes to pull himself up, immediately grabbing his neck in pain as he tries to turn his head. Moose gets to his feet with a look of rage in his eyes and see’s Crete in the corner. Moose charges and tries a high knee, but Crete moves out of the way and Moose slams knee first into the top turnbuckld. As Jack hits the mat, Crete leaves the ring and grabs Moose’s legs from the outside. He pulls Moose forward as hard as he can, posting him, much to the delight of the crowd. Crete then keeps hold of Moose’s legs and applies the POST FIGURE FOUR! Moose yells in pain as Crete puts all his weight on Moose’s leg. The referee moves in to see if Moose wants to quit, and Moose grabs him and slams him in the face with a head but! The referee collapses to the mat! There is no one to stop the match! Crete keeps the pressure on, I really think he will snap Moose’s leg! Inside the ring, Moose actually looks like he is about to tap out, then looks out of the ring and sees a furious Crete. Rage fills both men’s eyes as Moose refuses to give in. Finally, Moose simply goes limp! Did Moosehead Jack just pass out? The referee is still out, so there is no one to make the call. Crete releases the hold and slides into the ring and see’s that Moose is barely conscious. As Crete tries to revive the referee, Moose slowly pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. He limps toward Crete with a murderous look on his face. As Moose is about to attack, Crete avoids the blow, then slides behind Moose and clips the back of his leg with his arm, sending Moose crashing to the mat, then out of the ring to the floor where Moose writhes in pain, grabbing his knee. Crete finally manages to revive the referee enough that the ref can start to regain his bearings. Crete leaves the ring once again to grab Moose, but as he leans down, Moose SLAMS him in the face with a chair! Crete slumps to his knees as blood runs down his face. Moose pulls himself up and grabs Crete, and hits a short DDT, driving Crete’s face into the concrete floor. Moose slowly gets to his feet, barely able to put any weight on his leg, and drags himself to the apron. Moose stands, gets what was supposed to be a running start, but was actually more of a limping trot, and leaps off the apron, and drives and elbow into the back of Crete’s head, smashing his face even harder into the floor. As Moose sits next to Crete, he grabs Crete in a full Nelson while Crete is still face down on the floor. Moose leans back with all his might, bulling Crete off the floor and bending him the wrong way while pushing his head forward. Crete’s face contorts in a mask of pain, and the referee finally makes it outside the ring and asks Crete if he wants to quit. Crete spits a glob of blood onto the floor and yells NO! and the fans at ring side erupt into cheers. Crete manages to somehow power out of the move and force the break, but Moose gets the last shot in by slamming Crete’s face into the floor. Both men are exhausted, and clearly in tremendous pain. Moose pulls Crete up and tries a shot to the face, but Crete blocks it and nails Moose with a head but to the nose that staggers Moose backward a few steps. Crete stumbles over to the guard rail, and once Moose gets his vision back, he charges at Crete, but Crete sees him coming and back drops Moose into the crowd! People scatter and Moose crashes into several chairs before finally hitting the floor with a thud. Crete grabs his neck, and tosses himself over the guard rail and rolls Moose over onto his stomach, then pulls his legs toward the guard rail. Crete shoves both legs through the guard rail up to his knees, then bends one leg so Moose’s ankle rests across the back of his knee. Crete then bends the other leg back through the railing, trapping the first leg, and putting tremendous pressure on the back of Moose’s injured leg, Crete then tuck Moose’s foot under his arm and leans back, it’s a Texas Cloverleaf THROUGH THE GUARD RAIL! Moose howls in pain as Crete sits back further and further, increasing the pressure on Moose’s already injured leg. The fans are screaming for Moose to submit, the referee is right there in position. After several agonizing minutes trapped in the hold, perhaps knowing that there would be two more matches tonight, Moose taps out!
WINNER in 26:11 – Concrete TG

Crete releases the hold and immediately collapses to the floor. Fans help him to his feet as they cheer their hero. Moose slowly pulls himself up, not putting ANY weight on his leg at all. Crete gets a burst of energy and clotheslines them both over the railing. Moose hits the floor and Crete hammers away, getting in several good shots before security comes in and breaks it up.

Russ: Dear GOD how are they going to compete tonight? Moose’s leg may be broken, and Crete may have a damaged neck!
Nash: Hate will take you a long way Russ. You would be amazed what kind of pain the mind can block when it is occupied with hate.
Russ: The thought that this will continue through the night, just hellish
Razz: I guarantee you this Russ, right now, they aren’t feeling anything. Tomorrow? That’s a whole ‘nother story. Folks, I would like to bring out a pair of special guests this evening to shed some light on the next match, folks, please welcome, ECW Alum Mikey Whipwreck, and WWF legend, George “The Animal” Steele! <huge pop from the crowd>
Mikey: Its nice to be here Razz, and thanks for having us, but uh, why us?
Steele: MIIIIIINE!
Mikey: Yeah, yours, but again, I gotta ask, why us?
Razz: Well Mikey, I mean, you were a great wrestler and all, and the Animal was a crowd favorite, but I mean…….
Nash: You were jobbers, and two of the guys in this match are jobbers. Does this make a connection yet?
Steele: MIIIIIIIIIIINE! DUR-DUH-UGH
Mikey: Yes George, yours, wait, Nash, you consider us JOBBERS?
Nash: Is there ANYONE on the planet that doesn’t?
Russ: Mr. Whipwreck, this wasn’t meant as any kind of disrespect, simply that you spent a lot of your career in the lower part of the crowd, we would just like to get your opinion on what kind of preparation you go through for something like this.
Mikey: I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW……
Steele: Please, Mr. Whipwreck allow me to handle this one
Mikey: You can talk?
Steele: I hold a Masters Degree in science young Mr. Whipwreck, there is a lot you don’t know about me.
Phantos: HEY!
Nash: Beat it!
Steele: First, gentlemen, allow me to thank you for having me on your program, it is quite a thrill to be here. I have watched you grow over the years, and your success has been an inspiration, and I must admit to being quite a fan of your program. Now, on to your query, you see, in the wrestling business, there are clearly people that are the elite, they have that mythical “it” that only few people seem to possess. Now, that said, part of what allows them to develop that “it” factor, is people willing to work as part of a larger machine to move that man up the ranks. What so many kids don’t realize these days is that five minutes of swallowing your pride, can lead to a lifetime of steady paychecks. It may not be the glamour that they sought, but they also have to remember this, it is far easier to keep your spot on the bottom than it is to keep your spot on the top.
Nash:…….
Razz:…….
Mikey:…...
Russ: Well said Mr. Steele, so how would you prepare for this match?
Steele: Well if you allow me to break kayfabe for a moment…..
<Steele glances over to kayfabe and she nods to The Animal>
Steele: The gentlemen in this match know their rolls. There is one man that is clearly being primed for a push, while the other two have somewhat languished and lost their momentum. If I were in this match, I would make sure I did all I could to make that person look as good as I could
Nash: That’s the most insane thing I have ever heard in my life!
Razz: C’mon Nash, are you gonna say you didn’t appreciate all the guys who laid down for you?
Nash: I TOLD YOU…….
<kayfabe slams a ruler down on the announce table snapping everyone to attention and letting them know it is time to restore order>
Russ: ok George, who do you see winning this one?
Steele: I believe Damon Wrath has built some momentum, plus after what DeBeers did to him, he will be out for revenge
Mikey: DeBeers will cheat to victory. He needs a manager though. He should call me
Razz: I think Apocalyptic Existence has a shot here, Chad Patton will make the difference
Nash: I have no idea, what the hell…..this is like the opening match on WCW Saturday Night, I have no idea
Russ: I also believe Damon Wrath has the momentum in this. Gentlemen, thank you for joining us, let’s head to the ring.

DAMON WRATH vs. ZK DEBEERS vs. APOCALYPTIC EXISTENCE

Apocalyptic Existence and Chad Patten are out first, they wait in one corner and discuss some last minute strategy. ZK DeBeers makes his way to the ring, to thunderous boos. This is DeBeers first appearance in the United States, and by the reception he is getting, it may well be his last. The fans boo mercilessly and litter him with debris. DeBeers shrugs it off and makes his way around the ring where he sees and elderly black woman sitting. He pauses in front of the woman and just stares at her, then evidently lets all the insults hurled at him from the crowd explode on this poor old lady with a stream of insults that would make a sailor cringe. To her credit the old lady gets to her feet and gives it right back. With DeBeers getting his verbal comeuppance from the lady, he doesn’t notice that Damon Wrath has been introduced and has made his way to ring side. Wrath spots DeBeers and charges across the floor and nearly spears him out of his boots. The two men roll around on the floor trading shots. Inside the ring Apocalyptic Existence moves to join the fray, but Chad Patton wisely advises him against it. Let them kill each other, then pick the scraps. Smart strategy. Wrath manages to get DeBeers sitting against the steps and gets to his feet and HAMMERS DeBeers with several knees to the face. One knee appears to break DeBeers nose, because blood begins to flow down his face. Wrath pulls DeBeers up and rolls him under the ropes. Before Wrath can roll into the ring after him, AE charges across the ring and falls on DeBeers and gets a two count. Wrath climbs in and breaks up the pin, and AE gets to his feet and he and Wrath go nose to nose. AE gives him a shove, and Wrath responds with a double leg take down. With AE on the mat, Wrath catches AE with BRUTAL clubbing forearms to the chest. The referee starts the five count, and has to physically pull Wrath off of AE to avoid the disqualification. While this is going on, the camera pans to the outside where we see a dazed ZK DeBeers trying to get the blood to stop pouring from his nose as he slowly gets to his feet. Inside the ring, Wrath is arguing with the referee which gives AE time to get to his feet. Wrath shoves the referee aside and turns his attention back to AE, just in time to get his face nearly kicked off his shoulders. Wrath collapses to the mat in a heap and AE bounds off the ropes and drops a big leg across his chest, covers, but can only get a one count. AE pulls Wrath to his feet and grabs him in a bear hug and drives him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex. AE covers again but only gets a two count. As Wrath struggles to get to his feet, AE climbs to the top rope and waits for Wrath to get to his feet, as he does, AE leaps and catches Wrath right on the chin with a perfect missile drop kick. The force of the move sends Wrath to the ropes where DeBeers is trying to get back into the ring, as Wrath hits the ropes, DeBeers low bridges him and Wrath tumbles backward over the top rope to the floor. DeBeers hops off the apron and grabs Wrath and slams him face first into the table, then hits a DIAMOND DRIVER! On he floor! Wrath is OUT! DeBeers stands over his fallen enemy for a moment, then raises his arms in victory, only to be quickly spun around by Apocalyptic Existence and LEVELED with a spinning fist to the side of the head. AE rolls DeBeers under the bottom rope, and then springboards onto the top rope, and hits a moonsault from the spring, hooks the leg, but DeBeers manages to shoot his arm out and grab the bottom rope and break the pin. AE pulls DeBeers to his feet and rocks him with several European uppercuts, then hooks DeBeers and lifts him up for a suplex, then slingshots him off the top rope, and turns him and DRIVES him to the mat with a jackhammer! AE hooks the leg, then hooks the other one with his leg, one, two, thre….NO! Wrath just manages to get into the ring to break it up! AE gets to his feet and waits for Wrath to pull himself up, then tries a spinning heel kick, but Wrath catches him and dumps him over the top rope to the apron. Wrath turns around and tries a clothesline, but AE ducks. When AE turns around, Wrath catches him with a superkick to the mouth sending him to the floor. Before Wrath can do anything, DeBeers grabs him from behind and hits a low blow doubling him over in pain. DeBeers grabs Wrath and rolls him up, and gets a two count, but Wrath kicks out, sending DeBeers into the middle turnbuckle face first. DeBeers remains caught up on the second turnbuckle, and Wrath gets a running start and catches DeBeers with a boot to the back of the head. Wrath pulls a dazed DeBeers to his feet and HAMMERS him with shots to the face, then sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a knee to the midsection, then lifts him up and POWERBOMBS him to the mat! From the outside, AE tries to spring board back into the ring, but Wrath side steps him and AE crashes to the mat. Wrath pulls him up and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then turns his attention back to a stunned DeBeers. Wrath pulls him up and NAILS the LIGHTS OUT, then falls on DeBeers and hooks him in the WrathXface! DeBeers struggles a bit but Wrath has it hooked in the center of the ring, and is not about to release this hold for any reason at all. Finally, DeBeers can take no more and he taps out.
WINNER in 17:49 – Damon Wrath

Wrath releases the hold, and gets to his feet. He pulls something out of his boot and waits for DeBeers to get to his feet. As DeBeers stands up, Wrath BLASTS him with something! DeBeers falls to the mat, completely out cold! The crowd cheers wildly as Wrath stands over the fallen DeBeers and we see that Wrath had given DeBeers some of his own medicine, he breaks a roll of quarters over DeBeers fallen body, then falls on him and hammers him repeatedly in the face with punches until DeBeers is a bloody mess. Finally the officials pull him off of DeBeers, and Wrath raises his arms in victory and heads to the back.

Russ: That was a nice win by Damon Wrath, and a measure of revenge for him as well
Nash: Appreciate the guys who you beat……..it just doesn’t……..I mean they are………JOBBERS!
Russ: will you get hold of yourself?
Razz: Wrath may have just taken the first step toward working his way back up the card. People forget, he is a former tag team champion. After Gaelic Storm split, he kind of lost his way and ended up leaving the OOWF for a bit, but he is back now, and appears to be as focused as ever, I see good things in his future.
Nash: jobbers……
Russ: SNAP OUT OF IT
Nash: Fine. Wrath, yeah, he has the potential. You know, that kind of reminds me of my time in Mexico, it was the early 1970’s and I was a clean cut face working in Mil Mascaras’ promotion as El Lobo Solitario. I was in a BRUTAL feud with The Medics. I lost to Medic 1 in a match in the Mexico City Futbol Arena in front of 100,000 people. I was devastated. I considered quitting. I walked away for a few months and got my head together and when I came back, I came back as Actrivo Grande Kevin Nash and DOMINATED! Maybe that is what Wrath needs.
Razz: You sure you didn’t come back as Vinnie Vegas or Oz?
Nash: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Russ: If we could move on to our next match, we have a match between former teammates who have had a violent falling out. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III and Ryan Hardcore could never quite overcome the odds and capture the world tag team titles, but they were a functional tag team that appeared to be gaining momentum. Then, after a couple of tough losses, Ryan Hardcore decided that he had had enough.
Razz: Well, that happens sometimes, I mean me and Sabu had a pretty good team going, and for whatever reason it fell apart. I mean, you look at classic teams through the years, the Steiners, the The Midnight Rockers, the Rock N’Roll Express, they all had a rough spot where they split as a team
Nash: You know why those teams split? Because they couldn’t cut it anymore, and it became painfully obvious that SOMEONE on that team was a weak link. I mean look at those teams, with all due respect, Rick Steiner was the weak link, Marty Janetty was the weak link, and on the Rock N’Roll, well really, you can take either of them. Now you look at a team like The Outsiders, now THERE was a team…..
Razz: That constantly made sure they put themselves over ahead of everyone else
Russ: Before this breaks down into ANOTHER argument between you two, lets bring in someone that actually KNOWS something about wrestling, the “Louisville Lip” James E. Cornette! Jim how are you tonight?
Cornette: Well Russ, I’m finer than a frog hair split four ways, and just as happy as can be to be here. I want to say this whole OOWF thing, you boys have done a helluva job despite Nash’s best efforts.
Razz: So did you hear Kev’s comments on tag team wrestling?
Cornette: Yeah I heard him, Kevin Nash could start an argument in an empty house. Tag team wrestling is a science, you have to know your partner inside and out. These days we see too many teams that are thrown together for convenience and then people are surprised when they don’t work.
Russ: Well gentlemen, there are also some stips on this match, if Ryan Hardcore wins, he gets all of MacCappington’s assets, if MacCappington wins, Ryan Hardcore is gone from the OOWF!
Cornette: Seems to me like MacCappington has more to lose here. That man is so rich that he gets a new boat each time the old one gets wet. No way he is going to lose that fortune
Nash: MacCappington has the size, strength, and experience advantage over Hardcore, there is no way he is losing to him. Book it
Razz: I am gonna disagree here. You said Damon Wrath’s win was a coming out party? Well this one is going to be the same for Hardcore. Ryan Hardcore wins this one and it’s the start of something big for him.
Russ: I am going to say MacCappington’s experience as a solo wrestler will carry him. He was the Intercontinental champion, so he can handle himself in there, plus, while Hardcore is fighting for his job, MacCappington is fighting for everything he owns. MacCappington pulls out all the stops and gets the win here…..
Cornette: Lets go to the ring
Russ: That’s my line!
Cornette: Then say it Russ! My god your about as useful as back pocket on a shirt
Russ: Let’s go to the ring.

[Jack Quinn]

F. FONZWORTH MACCAPPINGTON III vs. RYAN HARDCORE – If Hardcore Wins, He Gets All of MacCappington’s Assets, if MacCappington Wins, Hardcore Leaves the OOWF

Ryan Hardcore comes to the ring first, accompanied by Lauren Phoenix. He mocks the crowd as they boo him loudly. After a few suggestive moments with Phoenix, Hardcore slithers under the bottom rope and poses on the ropes for no one in particular. F. Fonzworth MacCappington III is announced, and he comes out to the ring with Lance. Lance is carrying a can of air spray on a sterling silver tray, and makes sure to spray the air before MacCappington as he makes his way to the ring. A few fans try to reach out and touch MacCappington and he recoils in horror. Finally he makes it to the ring and Lance holds the ropes open for him and he steps between the ropes and Lance helps him remove his insanely valuable robe. Hardcore walks right to the middle of the ring and goes nose to nose with his former tag team partner. MacCappington looks down his nose at Hardcore and says something that Hardcore clearly doesn’t like, because Hardcore reaches back and slaps MacCappington across the face. MacCappington looks horrified for a moment, then reaches out and smacks Hardcore across the face. Hardcore smirks and grabs his face, and the two of them immediately begin to throw down trading shots in the middle of the ring. Despite having the disadvantage in size, Hardcore manages to get the advantage and backs MacCappington against the ropes. Hardcore tries a whip, but MacCappington reverses it and catches Hardcore on the rebound and elevates him in the air, and catches him a boot between the legs as he comes down! OH NO! That’s where Hardcore earns his money! Hardcore writhes in pain on the mat while the referee gives MacCappington a warning. FFM walks over to Hardcore and drops a knee across his throat, and turns and continues his conversation with the referee. At first the referee argues with MacCappington, then he sees that FFM is choking Hardcore and starts the five count. FFM breaks the hold just before the disqualification. FFM pulls Hardcore to his feet and backs him into the corner and repeatedly buries his knee into Hardcore’s midsection, then picks him up and sets him on the top rope, and catches him with a massive open hand slap across the side of the head that rocks Hardcore. MacCappington climbs to the second rope and hooks Hardcore and takes him off the top with a thunderous superplex. MacCappington doesn’t even go for the pin, opting instead to hammer Hardcore on the face with closed fist punches, drawing more warnings from the referee. MacCappington drags Hardcore to the ropes and drapes his throat over the middle rope, then hits the opposite ropes and leaps, landing on Hardcore’s back, driving his throat down on the ropes and all the breath out of Hardcore’s body. Hardcore falls to the mat, gasping for breath, and MacCappington stands over him and looks pretty satisfied with himself. He drags Hardcore back to the center of the ring, rolls him over and drops an elbow across his chest and makes the arrogant cover and gets a two count before Hardcore rolls his shoulder. MacCappington pulls Hardcore up and whips him HARD into the corner, then follows him in with a huge avalanche! MacCappington won’t let Hardcore fall though, instead he sets him on the top rope again and climbs up for a superplex. This time, however, Hardcore grabs MacCappington’s head and bites the bridge of his nose! MacCappington howls in pain, and Hardcore shoves him off the ropes and MacCappington falls into the ring. Hardcore stands up on the top rope and hits a SSP! He covers and gets a two count, with MacCapppington rolling his shoulder JUST before the three count. Hardcore gets to his feet and lets MacCappington stand up, then hits the ropes and rocks him with a clothesline, but MacCappington will not go down. Hardcore hits the ropes and connects with another clothesline and once again MacCappington won’t go down. Hardcore hits the ropes for the third time and charges at MacCappington, and MacCappington gets a foot up, but Hardcore ducks it, stops on a dime and connects with an enzuguri to the back of MacCappington’s head! MacCappington’s eyes roll into the back of his head, and he looks ready to fall. Hardcore is quickly back to his feet, he springs off the middle rope and DRIVES MacCappington to the mat with a bulldog! Hardcore turns him over and covers, but once again MacCappington roles his shoulder at two. Hardcore is up, MacCappington struggles to his knees and Hardcore peppers him with kicks to the side of the head, then steps out of the ring and waits on the apron. As MacCappington gets to his feet, Hardcore springs to the top rope and leaps, but MacCappington catches Hardcore with a THUNDEROUS clothesline! Hardcore does a 360 and slams onto the mat, he may be dead. Lauren Phoenix jumps onto the apron to buy Hardcore some time, MacCappington walks over to her and says something and she tries to slap him, MacCappington catches her arm and grabs her hair! He looks out at the crowd and they roar their approval. MacCappington tilts her head back and plants a big kiss on the lips! Ewwww, you don’t know where those lips have been. Or actually, you DO. Ewww. Phoenix falls off the apron and gags on the floor, like MacCappington’s tongue is the worst thing she has had in her mouth. Inside the ring Hardcore struggles to his feet, and MacCappington pulls him up on his shoulders and hits the GREETINGS FROM PACIFIC HEIGHTS! Hardcore is DEAD! Once again the referee checks on Hardcore, MacCappington moves to the ropes and reaches out and tells Lance to give him the sterling silver tray, but Lance just steps away. MacCappington looks at him in confusion and demands it again, but once again Lance refuses. MacCappington sticks his head between the top and middle rope and barks at Lance to give him the tray, and Lance does, SLAMMING it into MacCappington’s head! MacCappington slumps onto the ropes, and Lance SLAMS it into his face again opening a nasty gash above his eye. MacCappington falls backward off the ropes into the middle of the ring, his eyes glazed over, on the verge of unconsciousness. Hardcore is on his feet now, and he climbs to the top rope and hits THE MONEY SHOT! Hardcore covers, one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 15:59 – Ryan Hardcore

After the match, Ryan Hardcore gets to his feet, and Lauren Phoenix and Lance join him in the center of the ring. Lance brings MacCappington’s insanely expensive robe into the ring and drapes it across Hardcore’s shoulders. Lauren sinks to her knees and grabs Hardcore’s leg on one side, and on the other, Lance kneels before his new boss. Hardcore calls for a mic, and stares right at MacCappington, who has dragged himself to a corner, where he sits dazed and bleeding.

Look at you. You are pathetic and you sicken me. You know, you brought me into your little organization, and you brought me in for one reason and one reason only: because you thought I was some stupid hick sex freak who could be your comedic side kick. I was there when you humiliated Firechild. We were at the height of power then, we dominated. But then things started to change. You got completely played by Darling. You looked like a fool. Then Viper leaves. Then you get us into this RIDICULOUS team, and you can’t even get the name right. You are pathetic. You know, it was right after Darling made you look like a fool that I took some time to evaluate my situation. Now, I could have just attacked you, and left you lying in the middle of the ring, but that wasn’t going to be enough. See, I am a man who has become accustomed to a certain way of life. Lauren gives me all I need in most areas, but there was one area where you were especially generous. Now, MacCappington, I will admit, one of the benefits of hanging out with you was the endless flow of cash. I grew pretty used to that, and I gotta say, I liked it. So, even though I was sick of you, I decided that I wanted that cashflow to stick around a little longer. So while you were fucking around moving from one house to another and not paying attention, my team of lawyers and I moved all your assets into MY name.

<MacCappington looks horrified at this revelation>

I know I know, how could that happen. Well Mac, you remember the saying “every man has his price”? Well, Lance has his price too. And it appears that you confided in him, and left FAR too many decisions up to him. He knew just how to get to ALL your money and ALL your assets. And now? They are ALL mine.

<MacCappington still looks horrified, and the fans are booing the hell out of Hardcore>

So you see, it comes to this. You are so clueless, that you didn’t even realize that this match was pointless. You could have won this match, and yeah, I would have been gone from the OOWF, and I just might take a nice long vacation anyway, but I still would have had all your money. You, MacCappington, are broke as hell. You are broke, and you are a joke. Alexander Darling is not the only one that can swerve you. You got punked. Hardcore.

<Hardcore drops the mic and he, Lauren and Lance leave the ring to deafening boos. After they are gone, MacCappington slowly gets to his feet in the corner and wipes the blood from his face. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he slowly heads to the back, seemingly in a daze.>

Russ: THAT BASTARD HARDCORE!
Nash: Wow. Would you call that a swerve?
Razz: Ryan Hardcore is now………a multi-millionaire?
Russ: That was the most damnable and contemptible thing I have EVER seen!
Nash: Ever? Really?
Russ: Ok. Tonight. And that jezebel Lance…..
Razz: Wait, jezebel? Lance? I am not sure that really works, I mean turncoat, Benedict Arnold, traitor, that all works, but jeze….
<there is a commotion at the announce table, then we hear someone sit down>
Russ: Uh, well, uh, joining us right now is WWE world heavyweight champion Chris Jericho…..uh, hi champ, what brings you to the OOWF?
Jericho: You know damn well what brings me here. The level of disrespect, the level of misogyny, the level of CLEAR bias is unfathomable.
Nash: Ok, I’ll bite, what the hell are you talking about?
Jericho: I am talking about Firewoman. She was just forced to do something that is so degrading, so horrific……..the only thing I could compare it to is losing a match to John Cena.
Razz: Zing
Nash: Does Vince know you are here?
Jericho: I am the world heavyweight champion, I go where I want, when I want, and don’t you forget it JACK!
Nash: I wouldn’t get too attached to that title then.
Jericho: Let them try to take it off of me
Russ: Getting back to the action ahead of us, we have the second match of the three stages of hell match between Concrete TG and Moosehead Jack, this one is an anything goes, fans bring the weapons match. I have to think this would favor Moose
Jericho: They are going to count on these fans to supply the weapons? Are you serious?
Nash: I don’t think there is any question that this match favors Moose, I mean, even if the fans are not exactly willing to hand weapons to him, you know he will get his hands on some at some point. And he will use them effectively.
Razz: See, I think that is where Crete will have the advantage in this one. Remember the first match, Moose may have a broken neck, so he is going to have a harder time getting around to get the weapons to use, that has to play into Crete’s hands. The fans could effectively play keep away and influence the outcome of this match.
Jericho: And that right there is why you should never give the fans, those traitorous fans, any kind of power. They are not sophisticated enough to know what to do with it.
Russ: Well Jericho, you have to have a horse in this one, if you are going to be out here, at least pick a winner.
Jericho: Well Moose committed the unpardonable sin of putting his hands on Firewoman, but then he also hates that assclown Alexander Darling. So I am going with Moose.
Russ: I believe that will be my pick as well. I realize that Moose is injured, and usually I would say that is a disadvantage, but with Moose, that makes him more dangerous. Crete being injured as well puts him at a disadvantage. I think Moose takes this one, and turns up the violence in the process.

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CONCRETE TG – 3 Stages of Hell Match 2: Anything Goes, Fans Bring the Weapons Match

Concrete TG is announced first and makes his way to the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Crete climbs into the ring and surveys the crowd, many of the fans are holding up weapons, varying from chairs to cheese graters to lead pipes. Crete tries to turn his head to survey the crowd in the other direction and he winces noticeably because of the damage Moose did to his neck. Moosehead Jack is announced and he comes out to the top of the ramp. Moose takes a few steps toward the ring and limps noticeably, with each step he stares at Crete and snarls, rage building in his eyes. Moose gets halfway down the ramp and reaches into the crowd and comes out with a barbed wire bat. Crete hops off the turnbuckle where he had been watching Moose and slips out of the ring and looks around the crowd, finally settling on a kendo stick. Moose limps around the ring, and Crete charges and swings wildly, Moose side steps at the last moment and only catches a glancing blow to the side of the head from the kendo stick. As Crete passes, Moose swings the bat and catches Crete on the back, leaving several long gashes down Crete’s back, tearing the skin, and dropping Moose to his knees. Moose immediately turns and slams the baseball bat into the back of Crete’s head. Crete keeps hold of a dazed Crete and rakes the barbs across his face, leaving nasty gashes on Crete’s forehead and face. Crete frees himself by reaching back and hitting Moose with a low blow. Moose falls to his knees, and Crete pulls himself up and surveys the crowd and someone tosses him a length of chain. Crete wraps it around his fist and NAILS Moose right in the temple, sending him to the floor. Crete wraps the chain around Moose’s throat and pulls him over to the stairs and props him up in the corner. Crete grabs a chair and swings as hard as he can, aiming for Moose’s head, but Moose falls to the floor and Crete WARPS the chair on the stairs. Moose reaches under the ring and pulls out the Eric O’Mac special, a sledgehammer. From the floor Moose clips the back of Crete’s knee with the sledge, sending him to the floor. Crete grabs the back of his leg in pain as Moose pulls himself up and limps to the guardrail and pulls the belt from a “fan” in the front row. Moose glares at Crete, then whips him mercilessly with the leather belt. Moose pulls Crete up and runs him face first into the turnbuckle, then pulls his arms around the ring post and uses the belt to tie them together! Crete is trapped and at Moose’s mercy, which cannot be a good place to be. Moose limps around the ring and finds the barbed wire bat that he brought to the ring with him, and slowly unwraps the barbed wire from the bat. Crete sees what is about to happen and struggles to free himself even harder. Moose avoids some wild kicks and whips the hell out of Crete with the strand of barbed wire! Crete’s back is red with streams of blood from dozens of gashes left by the barbs. Moose rakes his fingers down Crete’s back, opening the gashes even more and drawing a scream of pain from Crete. Moose looks at the crowd for more plunder, and finds someone with a glass bottle. After a bit of convincing he gets the bottle from the fan and turns back to Crete. What Moose didn’t see was that while he was arguing with the fans getting the bottle, Crete managed to free himself from the belt, and now stands waiting for Moose to turn around, when he does, Crete NAILS Moose right between the eyes! Moose slumps to the floor and Crete wraps the belt around Moose’s throat and pulls him up and rolls him into the ring. Crete climbs in after Moose and keeps the belt wrapped around his neck and pulls Moose off he feet with an over the shoulder neckbreaker, only using the belt as a noose. Moose struggles for a moment, clawing at his neck trying to get free. Finally Crete releases the move and Moose crashes to the mat and gasps for breath and tries to recover. While Moose is recovering Crete leaves the ring and grabs a ladder from a fan. Why would a fan have a ladder you ask? Go fuc……well, I think you know the rest. Anyway, Crete slides the ladder into the ring and starts to climb into the ring getting on the apron on one knee, but Moose is on his feet and dives at the ladder, shoving it into Crete and knocking his legs from underneath him and sending Crete crashing to the floor, landing awkwardly on the floor, face first. Moose gets to his feet inside the ring and sets up the ladder by the ropes, finds the bottle he got from the crowd earlier and slowly climbs to the top of the ladder and waits for Crete to get to his feet outside the ring. As Crete struggles to his feet, Moose leaps off the ladder and SLAMS the bottle down across Crete’s head, shattering it! Crete falls for the floor and writhes in pain, grabbing his head as blood runs through his fingers. Moose doesn’t escape unscathed either however, when he hits the floor, his knee buckles and he collapses to the floor in a heap as well. The referee leaves the ring and checks on both men, Moose snaps at the referee for even questioning his ability to continue, then the referee goes to Crete and pries his hands away from his face, and immediately takes a step backward. It looks like Crete has been shot in the face. We are talking Bill Alfonso levels of blood here 1.0 Muta for sure. The referee almost turns and waives off the match, but Crete begs him not to, and uses the referee to pull himself to his feet. Crete staggers and nearly falls, but the guard rail stops him. A few fans in the front row are repulsed by the site, but more cheer, yep, those are our fans. Someone hands something to Crete and through the blood and gore, we see a grin spread across Crete’s face. Ok this has crossed brutal and entered into disturbing territory. Crete turns to a reporter with a pen and notepad and grabs it from him and scribbles something on it, then tears it of and heads toward Moose. Moose is finally on his feet, but that leg is damaged and he can barely stand on it. Crete picks up the kendo stick with his free hand and catches Moose with a shot to the head that sends him against the guardrail. Crete then holds the slip of paper to Moose’s forehead, and with the other, USES A STAPLE GUN TO STAPLE IT TO MOOSE’S FOREHEAD! Moose howls in pain as blood trickles down his face, the camera pans in, and it appears to be a receipt “One buttkicking” how heroic. Crete adds several more staples to Moose’s head, then turns to the crowd to fire them up. While Crete is turned around, a fan hands Moose brass knuckles. Crete turns back around and WHAM! Brass knuckle assisted heart punch! Crete gasps, then falls to his knees. Moose reaches back and SLAMS the knucks into Crete’s temple, Crete’s eyes roll into his head and he falls to the floor. Moose falls across Crete outside the ring, the referee decides that a pin here is just as good as inside the ring and makes the three count.
WINNER in 20:11 – Moosehead Jack

As soon as the three count is made, medical officials flood the ring. They immediately go to Crete and try to stop the bleeding from his head. Moose refuses assistance initially, but after Eric and LD come to ringside, he lets them help him to the back, Moose is still not able to put much weight on his leg. Medics bring Crete back around, but his eyes look very glassy. They wrap a towel around his head and it is almost immediately soaked with blood.

Russ: These two men have another match, how can they possibly wrestle again tonight?
Jericho: Did you see the beating Moose gave Crete? That was like the beating I gave Shawn Michaels. Shawn I want you to tell your wife and your precious children…..
Razz: Ok Jericho, not here, no one cuts a promo on another promotion during our show!
Nash: You know, earlier tonight my tiny friend here…..
Razz: Fuck you Nash
Nash: Anyway, he made a comparison between the Moose and Crete feud and the Dreamer – Raven feud. I have been following the OOWF since its inception, which means I have seen all the Moose-Crete matches, I gotta say, they are starting to get a little hard to watch. Razz, you were there for the whole Raven-Dreamer feud, you ever have that feeling?
Razz: Yeah, I gotta say I did. There were times when I thought it couldn’t get any more personal, or they couldn’t think of a new way to hurt one another, they would top themselves. After awhile, it just got hard to watch
Russ: I pray that we are at this point with these two, because I really hate to think that they can come up with anything worse.
Jericho: Did you see what the final match consists of? I have a feeling we haven’t seen anything yet
Russ: And I have to be honest, that scares me a little bit.
Razz: Probably time to move on to our next match, Russ you gonna intro that match?
Russ: No, I can’t I need a moment
Nash: You big baby, fine I will do it. Next up, two long time rivals renew hostilities in one of the most brutal matches ever conceived by man, and Indian….
Razz: Native American
Nash: What?
Razz: Native American. We can’t call it an Indian strap match anymore
Nash: Since when?
Razz: Since we got sued be Canada
Jericho: You got sued by Canada? That’s kind of weak, we don’t sue anyone. What the hell did you do to Canada?
Razz: Johnny and AA kind of killed an Indian Medicine Man. And didn’t the WWE get sued by a panda?
Jericho: Stick to the point junior.
Nash: Ok fine, a Native American Strap match, anyway it is epic in its sheer brutality, and given the history between Stank and Attitude Adjuster, I expect this to be very violent and bloody.
Razz: You ready to say anything yet Russ?
Russ: Lets go to the ring

STANK vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – Strap Match

Stank comes to the ring first, CLEARLY in no mood to deal with anything. He steps between the ropes and barks at the referee to attach the strap to his wrist. The referee ties the leather strap to Stank’s wrist and Stank grabs the leather and tests its toughness by repeatedly snapping it together. Attitude Adjuster is announced next and he comes out to the top of the ramp and takes his sweet time wandering down the ramp, pausing several times to argue with the fans. Inside the ring, Stank is getting more and more impatient at Attitude Adjuster’s stall tactics. AA finally makes it to ringside and climbs onto the apron. Stank moves toward the ropes, so AA drops to the floor. Stank yells at the referee to get him into the ring, and the ref tries to get AA into the ring, but AA demands that Stank be moved to the opposite side of the ring. The ref backs Stank across the ring and AA climbs onto the apron again, Stank takes one step toward AA and AA immediately drops off the apron again. Inside the ring Stank is livid, he steps between the ropes and stands on the apron, and AA immediately rolls into the ring and yells at the referee to get this match going! AA also yells that Stank is stalling and is afraid to face him. Stank smirks at the mind games and slowly steps between the ropes. The referee grabs the other end of the strap and starts to hook it to AA’s wrist, but he suddenly backs off and tells the ref he isn’t ready. AA does a few jumping jacks in the middle of the ring, and stretches a bit. The crowd is really starting to get annoyed by this. AA moves to let the referee tie the leather strap to his wrist again, then pulls out and backs off with what appears to be a leg cramp. AA tries to get his foot on the top rope to stretch, that fails miserably, so he tries the middle rope, then settles on the bottom rope. The crowd appears to be about to riot at this point. The referee has had enough too and demands that AA come to the middle of the ring, he does, and once again the ref starts to put the leather on his wrist, but AA backs off again and claims to have something in his eye. Well he gets something in his eye, because Stank charges across the ring and catches AA with a shot to the side of the head, then grabs him by the throat and backs him into the corner. The referee is about to get the leather strapped to his wrist when WHAM! Someone hits Stank from behind with a chair! What the hell! The camera was panned in close to the action, so we couldn’t see who it was, the camera pulls back as Stank staggers out of the corner and he catches another chair shot to the face, this shot sends him to the mat. The camera pulls all the way back, and we see the man with the chair, it’s………..JOHNNY ADRENALINE! Adrenaline brings the chair down across Stank’s back, and the back of his head several times. AA grabs the referee and throws him out of the ring. The Chickenshit Heels meet in the center of the ring and exchange a hug. AA pulls Stank to his knees and Johnny hammers away with shots to the forehead. AA picks up the chair and Johnny drags him to the corner. AA put the chair around Stank’s neck and Johnny climbs to the second rope. Just before he leaps, we hear the crowd start to buzz with anticipation. The camera swings around and we see F. Fonzworth MacCappington, still bloody, and still wearing his wrestling gear climb between the ropes. MacCappington walks to the middle of the ring and Johnny remains frozen on the top rope. AA walks up to MacCappington and gestures for him to hold Stank’s legs. When AA turns around to grab Stank, MacCappington whips out one of those collapsible clubs, extends it, and SLAMS AA on the back of the head! AA staggers forward and falls between the ropes! The crowd ERUPTS! Johnny jumps off the top rope and charges at MacCappington, but MacCappington catches him in the midsection with a shot that doubles Johnny over. MacCappington raises the club over his head to nail Johnny, but Adrenaline sees it and falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Inside the ring, Stank gets the chair from around his throat and slowly gets to his feet. MacCappington turns around to face Stank, and the two former teammates go face to face. The tension builds and the crowd goes silent with anticipation. After what seems like an eternity MacCappington holds his hand out, and once again the crowd ERUPTS. Stank slowly looks around, seeking crowd approval. The crowd breaks into a “SHAKE HIS HAND, SHAKE HIS HAND” chant. Finally, just when the tension is almost too much to bear, Stank grabs MacCappington’s hand and shakes it, and the two exchange a manly hug in the middle of the ring! DRINK & DESTROY IS BACK! The fans pop TREMENDOUSLY! Outside the ring, The Chickenshit Heels snarl and slink off, no doubt to plot something. Inside the ring Drink and Destroy raise their arms in victory and soak up the cheers of the crowd. Obviously this match is a no contest.
WINNER – No Match, No Contest

Nash: Hey Jericho, watch this. Uh Russ, it looks like The Chickenshit Heels are back
Russ: THOSE NO GOOD LOUSY SCALDED DOG COWARDS ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! THAT JOHNNY ADRENALINE IS THE WORST EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN ALL MY YEARS OF WRESTLING! THIS IS A TRAVESTY AND A MOCKERY OF ALL THE THINGS I HOLD DEAR IN THIS BUSINESS……
Nash: See, I told you
Jericho: Wow.
Razz: You know Johnny being back is huge, but let’s not forget something else, it looks like FF Capslock is back as well, are we going to see the return of Drink & Destroy?
Nash: And I have to say the rebirth of these two teams could breathe some life into the OOWF tag ranks, they were getting a little thin
Jericho: Do you see the irony of saying Capslock and Stank will save something from being thin?
Russ: Aren’t you the witty one? And I think I want to wait and see if this is a full blown reunion, lets not get too far ahead of ourselves. Stank and Capslock parted ways fairly amicably, so they have very little bad blood between them
Razz: I’m telling ya Russ, they are back together. I can feel it
Nash: You know what I can feel? Tonight is the night where IHOP and The Amnesiac finally end the careers of Insane Homeless Bunny. They have fought for several weeks in a row and I think IHOP and The Amnesiac want to make a statement and end things once and for all
Jericho: Insane Homeless Bunny? Isn’t that a rap group from Detroit?
Razz: That’s Insane Clown Posse
Jericho: Oh. And the Campeonas de trios titles are…..
Razz: Six man titles. Do you watch anything other than Fire’s matches?
Jericho: Why would I do that?
Russ: If we can keep on topic, I think tonight Insane Homeless Bunny bring the titles back to Run DEA
Nash: Bunny is not in Run DEA
Russ: He’s not?
Nash: Not according to Alexander Darling
Jericho: Well, what does that assclown know anyway?
Razz: I won’t argue with that
Russ: Are we done here? Let’s head to the ring.

IHOP & THE AMNESIAC vs. INSANE HOMELESS BUNNY – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Cage Match

Insane Homeless Bunny come out to the ring first. Carl and Justin Sane step into the cage, Bunny, however, climbs the outside of the cage and gets to the top and poses on top of the cage much to the delight of the crowd. Bunny does a back flip off the top of the cage, and impressively, lands on his feet on the inside of the ring. The OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions make their way to the ring next. Skurge and The Amnesiac step into the cage after dropping their titles at the announce table, SYB however looks at the cage and thinks better of the whole deal. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth catches up with SYB half way up the ramp and tries to persuade him to go to the ring. We hear SYB complain “THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL HURT!” The crowd laughs at SYB’s cowardice and SYB grows more frustrated with it all and heads up the ramp. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth looks desperate and finally catches up with SYB again and grabs his arm and spins him around and whispers something in his ear. SYB stares at her in shock and says “Really? You will? You swear?” The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth nods her head in agreement and SYB turns and SPRINTS to the ring, nearly dives through the door, charges across the ring and attacks Justin Sane! The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway! This is normal six man rules, meaning only two men can be in the ring at any given time. SYB traps Sane in the corner and BLISTERS him with chops. Justin Sane gets a burst of energy and fires back with a couple shots, but SYB cuts him off before Sane can get any momentum going with a scientific thumb to the eye. SYB pulls Sane out of the corner and hauls him up for a vertical suplex, then drops Sane down and drills him with a stunner! SYB rolls Justin over and covers, but he only gets a one count. SYB pulls Sane to his feet and hits a standing drop kick! Holy crap what did the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth promise him? Sane staggers back into the champs corner and SYB charges in and nails him with a clothesline and tags in The Amnesiac. The Amnesiac comes into the ring and snap mares Sane out of the corner and connects with a kick to the back of his head, then hits the ropes and lands a drop kick to the face that sends Sane to the mat. The Amnesiac covers, but Bunny sprints into the ring and breaks it up with a drop kick to The Amnesiac’s head. The Amnesiac pulls Justin Sane to his feet and throws him face first into the cage, then as he bounces off he hits a belly to back suplex, bridges and gets a two count before Bunny comes back in and breaks it up again. The second interference brings Skurge into the match, he grabs Bunny by the ears and pulls him back, then throws him into the cage, but Bunny gets his feet up and springs off of the cage and catches Skurge with a flying burrito! Skurge is sent sprawling across the ring. With all this going on, Justin Sane has had a chance to get to his feet, The Amnesiac grabs for him, but Sane crawls between his legs and makes it to his corner where he tags in Carl From Fresno. Carl comes in and drops The Amnesiac with a clothesline. Skurge comes in and he gets a big back drop for his troubles, SYB charges into the ring and he blocks a punch from Carl and peppers him with shots to the face. SYB bounds off the ropes, but SYB catches him with a double choke slam, driving SYB to the mat. Skurge and The Amnesiac catch Carl with dual kicks, one to the face and one to the back of the head, that knocks Carl goofy. Skurge gets the tag and he comes in and drops an elbow across Carl’s chest, then pulls the big man up and runs him face first into the cage. Carl hangs on the cage, and Skurge gets a running start and drives a knee into the back of Carl’s head, driving his face into the steel even harder. Carl staggers backward and falls to the mat, and we see that he has been split wide open. Skurge pounds Carl’s head opening the gash even more. Skurge reaches out and tags in SYB, then grabs Carl’s legs and tries a catapult, but he can’t get the big man up for the Hebrew Hammer. SYB grabs Carl and he and Skurge pull him up and send him to the ropes, on the rebound SYB HAMMERS him with the Hebrew Hammer! Carl falls to the mat and SYB covers, but once again Bunny breaks it up at two. SYB gets to his feet and challenges Bunny to a fight, so Bunny charges back into the ring. SYB ducks a clothesline and shoves Bunny to the ropes, but Bunny stops on the rebound. SYB yells at him to come back and fight, but Bunny just points behind him, SYB turns around and Carl kicks him in the gut and KILLS him with a A Pretty Good, But Really Not That Great Diamond Cutter! Carl covers, but now it is Skurge’s turn to break up the pin. Carl gets to his feet and tags in Bunny, Bunny waits for Skurge to pull SYB to his feet then springs off the top rope and hits a spring board moonsault that takes both SYB and Skurge down. Bunny grabs SYB and kicks him in the gut, then DRIVES him to the mat with a double underhook piledriver! Bunny motions for the top rope, then points to the top of the cage and the crowd erupts! Bunny quickly scales the side of the cage and makes it to the top, he pauses for a moment, then leaps! What a beautiful moonsault! But Skurge sees it coming and pulls SYB out of the way and Bunny SLAMS into the mat! You can almost hear all the wind escape from Bunny’s chest! Skurge and The Amnesiac charge into the ring and attack Carl and Justin, SYB crawls across the ring and rolls a stunned Bunny over, hooks the leg and gets the one, two, three. The champs retain.
WINNERS in 15:55 and STILL OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions – IHOP & The Amnesiac

After the match the champs celebrate outside the ring. The camera pans over to The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and her expression immediately changes from joy to something between dread and repulsion. She heads to the back ahead of the champs. What the hell did she promise?

[Jack Quinn]

Russ: BAH GAWD! BUNNY MAY BE BROKEN IN HALF!
Nash: Wait! I have seen this before! These guys were in that Onslaught division! That really weird “pure rules” thing!
Razz: Yes, some of them were, but the Camponas de……
Nash: So now they are all in ONE match? And it’s the same weird rules!
Razz: No, those rules haven’t been followed in months, do you even pay attention?
Russ: Well, Jericho do you have anything to add?
Jericho: Serves Bunny right.
Russ: What did HE ever do to you?
Jericho: He feuded with Firewoman, right? Then that is all I need…..

<Jericho throws the headset down and jumps out of his seat and charges into the ring where a stunned Bunny is just getting to his feet. Jericho grabs him and hits the CODEBREAKER! Jericho leaves the ring and grabs a chair then climbs back in and swings the door shut. Justin Sane tries to open the door, but Jericho kicks it from the inside and it swings back and SLAMS Sane in the face, sending him to the floor in a pool of blood. Inside the ring, Jericho SLAMS the chair down on Bunny’s back repeatedly, badly bending the chair. Jericho then grabs Bunny’s legs and turns him over in the WALLS OF JERICHO! Jericho sits low, and puts all the pressure on the small of Bunny’s back, Bunny taps furiously, then loses consciousness. Jericho finally releases the hold as numerous referee’s storm the cage. Jericho gets to his feet and smirks, picks up his title and walks back to the announce table and calmly puts the headphones on and sits back down. As he does, we see Bunny being placed on a backboard and stretchered out of the ring>

Russ: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Jericho: Some people have to be taught a lesson, Bunny should never have messed with Firewoman
Razz: You know, I am not one to stick my nose into personal affairs, but do you really think Firewoman would approve of you doing all this? I mean really?
Nash: Hey, sometimes all it takes is a rap across the beak to get some respect
Russ: You are demented, both of you, that was inexcusable!
Jericho: Mind your business Russ
Razz: How bout we move to the next match? Its Nash’s favorite, the Onslaught title!
Nash: Oh dear god, are we going to have to watch two guys roll around on the mat for fifteen minutes?
Razz: From what I hear, that is the kind of thing that interests you
Nash: isn’t Lilliput missing its King?
Razz: Fuck you Nash
Russ: Getting back to the point, Seamus defeated Attitude Adjuster, Tyson Kincaid and Firewoman to win the title two weeks ago. Tonight he defends against Tyson Kincaid
Jericho: Firewoman huh
Russ: Easy killer, I think you have done enough
Razz: The hardest part after winning a title is adjusting to life as a champion. Seamus was a champion before, so he knows what it is all about, but Tyson is hungry, I think he comes close, but doesn’t quite get it done
Nash: Well if there are no rules, my money is always on the half drunk Irishman
Russ: That’s it?
Nash: What more needs to be said?
Russ: I believe we will…..hold on I am getting word that there is something going on in the back!

<we cut to the back where we see Johnny Adrenaline and Attitude Adjuster in GM the Rick’s Office>

JA: Look, we are not asking, we are TELLING you, I am in the match. Bennett already cleared it, the way I see it, you really don’t have much of a choice. So, DO YOUR JOB AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
GMtR: Or else?
AA: Or else? Rick you ever see what the Iron Claw can do to a cantaloupe?
GMtR: Are you threatening me?
<before Rick can answer, his office door is kicked off its hinges and Stank and FF Capslock walk in>
Stank: I KNEW I HEARD THAT PIECE OF SHIT IN HERE!
<Stank starts toward The Chickenshit Heels, but GM the Rick jumps out of his seat>
GMtR: OH FUCK NO! You four will NOT be destroying my office! In fact, the four of you will be getting the fuck out of here right the fuck now!
JA: Just remember what I said, I am in that match!
Stank: What match?
AA: Don’t you fucking worry abou……
GMtR: Johnny here has demanded that he be put in the War Games match tonight. Which would make the sides uneven. If only we could find someone.
FFC: I’ll do it
GMtR: WHAT? You? What the hell makes YOU think I would trust you?
Stank: Two reasons, one this worthless twit Adrenaline, AND Ryan Hardcore are on Bennett’s side.
GMtR: Two?
Stank: Two? Because I trust him
GMtR: Good enough for me
JA: OH HELL NO! There is NO WAY IN HELL that can stand! WE WILL NOT…..
GMtR, Stank & FFC: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHNNY!
JA:<half under his breath> I fucking hate you all
GMtR: Now, get out of the office, all of you. I have plans to make. GO!

Russ: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!?!
Nash: I am going to have to STRONGLY protest this one! There is NO WAY this should be allowed!
Razz: I TOLD YOU! DRINK AND DESTROY ARE BACK TOGETHE BABY!
Russ: This just made things a whole lot more interesting. Let’s head to the ring for our next match

SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. TYSON KINCAID – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Tyson Kincaid is announced and makes his way to the ring. Kincaid looks somewhat distracted and keeps casting glances to the top of the ramp, like he is expecting someone to come out to watch his match. He steps between the ropes and bounds off the ropes, trying to shake out the nervous energy. The OOWF Onslaught Champion Seamus McNasty is announced next and he makes his way to the ring, pausing about half way down to take a big slug of whiskey. Seamus rolls under the bottom rope and gets to his feet and holds the title high in the air. Kincaid stops moving and looks at the title. Seamus grins a little bit when he sees Kincaid give the title a glance. Seamus hands the belt off to the referee and the bell rings, this one is underway. The two slowly circle, then lock up, Kincaid pushes Seamus back to the corner, the referee calls for the clean break and surprisingly gets it. Kincaid gives the clean break then turns to move back toward the center of the ring, then grabs Seamus’ arm and arm drags him into the center of the ring, Seamus and Kincaid both get to their feet and Kincaid catches Seamus with a drop kick to the jaw. Seamus rolls to the corner and gets to one knee and eyes Kincaid. Tyson Kincaid gets to his feet and motions for Seamus to get to his feet and bring the fight back to the middle of the ring. Seamus shakes his head a little and moves to the middle of the ring and they lock up, Seamus slips behind Tyson and grabs a waist lock, Kincaid grabs Seamus’ hands and tries to pry his way out of the hold, but Seamus immediately releases the hold and catches Kincaid with a clubbing forearm to the back of the head that sends Kincaid to the mat. Seamus immediately pounces on Kincaid and hammers him with shots to the face. Kincaid covers up, and slides his way to the ropes, forcing the break, then slipping out of the ring to the floor. Kincaid regains his composure for a second, but Seamus is out of the ring right after him and grabs Tyson from behind and tries to slam him face first into the ring post, but Kincaid blocks it with his foot, then catches Seamus with an elbow to the gut. Kincaid turns and grabs Seamus and hits him with side suplex on the floor, dropping Seamus on the back of his head. Kincaid pulls Seamus to his feet and rolls him under the ring, slides under and covers, and gets a two count. Kincaid pulls Seamus to his feet, kicks him in the mid section, then hooks him and hits a double underhook back breaker, covers again and once again gets a two count. Kincaid quickly gets to his feet and climbs to the top rope and waits for Seamus to get to his feet and leaps and nails Seamus in the mouth with a missile drop kick. Kincaid covers again, but he can’t keep Seamus down for the three count. Kincaid shows a little bit of frustration now and pulls Seamus up and shoves him back into the corner and peppers him with shots to the face, then sets him on the top rope. Kincaid climbs the ropes and tries for a superplex, but Seamus grabs the top rope and blocks it. Seamus fires several shots to the midsection, then NAILS Kincaid with a forearm to the mouth that sends Kincaid into the ring. Seamus measures him and waits for Kincaid to get back to his feet, then leaps and catches Kincaid with an elbow right between the eyes. Kincaid hits the mat, but Seamus doesn’t go for a cover, instead he kicks Kincaid in the mouth, then grabs his legs and turns him over into a Boston crab. Kincaid grunts in pain and refuses to give up, working his way slowly to the ropes and forcing the break. Seamus leaves the move on a little longer than necessary and draws a warning from the referee. Kincaid slowly gets to his feet and staggers to the middle of the ring, Seamus charges at him, but Kincaid stuns him with a rolling half crab, then immediately turns that into an STF! Seamus is in trouble as Kincaid grinds his forearm across his face and pulls back on his neck. The referee is right there to check on Seamus and see if he wants to quit, but Seamus refuses to surrender his title. Now it is Seamus’ turn to work his way to the ropes to force the break. Seamus manages to just reach out and grab the bottom rope and force the break. Now it is Kincaid’s turn to keep the move on a little too long. Finally Kincaid breaks the hold and as he gets up he gives Seamus a little slap to the back of the head. Well, this does not sit well with McNasty at all. Seamus gets to his feet and charges at Kincaid and HAMMERS him with punches. Kincaid falls to the mat, but Seamus doesn’t let up a bit. The referee starts the count, and Seamus doesn’t even slow down. The ref grabs Seamus and pulls him off of Kincaid, and Seamus turns around and HEADBUTS the ref right between the eyes! The referee goes down in a heap, that wil certainly be a fine. Kincaid leaves the ring to escape the Wrath of Seamus, but Seamus leaves the ring and grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Kincaid’s back, which sends Kincaid sprawling up the ramp. Seamus rummages around the ring and grabs another chair, and as Kincaid gets to his feet, Seamus throws the chair at Kincaid bouncing it off his head. Inside the ring, the referee struggles to his feet and waves the match off. Outside the ring, this just makes Seamus even more irritated. He charges back into the ring and DROPS the referee with the Black & Tan! Outside the ring, Tyson Kincaid slowly gets to his feet holding his head. Kincaid looks into the ring and slowly raises his hand in victory. Inside the ring, Seamus fumes.
WINNER in 13:09 by disqualification, Tyson Kincaid

Russ: If Seamus wants to continue as the Onslaught champion, he is going to have to learn how to keep that temper of his under control. There was no reason to attack the referee like that!
Jericho: Russ you need to come out of this idyllic world you live in, if the referee’s are going to interject themselves in the match, then they become fair game. I may not like Seamus, but I had no problem with what he did there
Nash: I think I may agree with Jericho here, the referee should not get involved in the match, and if he does, he gets what he deserves. Reminds me of the time I was in Detroit and I was wrestling Bobo Brazil in Detroit, had to be around 1970. I was beating Bobo senseless but I decided that I wanted more. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a lighter and threw a fireball at him, but that idiot referee Johnny “Red Shoes” Dugan got in the way and took the fireball right in the face! I felt bad for about a second, then realized that he probably deserved it, he was soft, and shouldn’t have been a referee anyway.
Russ: There is not a single thing about that story that is right. It was Dos Caras not Bobo Brazil. It was Los Angeles, not Detroit. It was 1975, not 1970. It was The Sheik, not YOU. And Johnny “Red Shoes” Dugan was one of the toughest men I ever knew, he would have taken YOU apart.
Nash: When did you become such a damn buzzkill Russ?
Razz: So, Seamus retains his title and lives to fight another day, up next we have a three way dance for the OOWF world tag team titles. You think the champs can continue the run of successful title defenses and retain their titles?
Jericho: Nicely done Razz
Razz: Thank you Jericho
Russ: Well Phantos and Lucios have certainly become more confident in their abilities lately, calling themselves the “Division Killers”
Nash: Well, right now, they ARE the most dominant team in the OOWF, they can hold those tag titles for as long as they want right now, who is going to stop them?
Razz: Well, Gods and Monsters look formidable, Drink and Destroy appear to be back, and the Chickenshit Heels are back as well. To borrow a phrase from someone……Business is about to pick up!
Jericho: As a former multi-time tag team champion myself, there is one advantage Phantos and Lucios certainly still hold…….they are the champions. Those other teams may all have impressive pedigrees, and that is great, but a pedigree, a list of accomplishments, idle threats mean nothing unless you can beat the champions. Remember Russ, the champions don’t HAVE to beat the challengers
Russ: I would like to think that Phantos and Lucios have enough honor and dignity to defend their titles the way they were meant to be defended. They say they are the measuring stick – and right now they are – the only proper thing to do is to defend those titles by BEATING every other team, fairly, in the middle of the ring.
Nash: Back to living in the 1950’s aren’t you Russ? Look, Phantos and Lucios are good, but The Dead and Blitz are a dangerous team, and Dead is hungry for gold. Gods and Monsters, well we haven’t seen too much of them yet, they have the potential to be a MONSTER team, no pun intended. While I do like the new attitude, you gotta be careful. There is a fine line between cocky confidence and careless arrogance.
Razz: That’s a good line Nash, you think that one up yourself?
Nash: the legs may be bad, but the mind is like a steel trap
Russ: Well there is only one way to find out how things will turn out, let’s head to the ring

PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. DEAD & BLITZ vs. GODS & MONSTERS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Dead and Blitz are announced first, and as they come to the ring, they appear to be bickering about something. That can’t bode well for the team. They step between the ring and Dead points to the corner. Blitz looks a little miffed about this, but steps between the ropes and waits on the apron. Gods & Monsters, Tytan and Poe, are announced next, and they are led to the ring by Selena. They appear to be a much more cohesive unit than Dead and Blitz and have a look of supreme confidence on their faces as they step between the ropes. Finally the OOWF world tag team champions are announced and they come out together, wearing the titles, like a good team should. They make their way to the ring, step between the ropes and immediately head to their corner. That’s right boys, act like you’ve been there before. This match is not a free for all, there will only be two men in the ring at a time. Lucios steps in the middle of the ring and calls out Poe. Phantos tries to talk him out of this, but Lucios is determined. Poe gets a sly smile across his face as he steps between the ropes. The Dead looks more annoyed than anything and he steps out of the ring and waits on the apron with his partner. With everyone squared away now, the referee calls for the bell and this one is finally underway. Lucios and Poe meet in the middle of the ring and go nose to nose. The two bigger power men of these teams, you can tell each one wants to show they are the alpha dog of the OOWF. Collar and elbow lock up, both men try to shove the other to the ropes, but neither man gives up an inch. After several seconds of effort both men break the lock up and look at one another again. Poe moves to lock up again and Lucios catches him with a chop that sets the big man back a step. Lucios takes the opening and lands a drop kick right to Poe’s mouth that sends him staggering backward a few steps. Lucios is quickly back to his feet and grabs Poe and sends him to the ropes, Lucios tries a shoulderblock but Poe takes him down with one of his own. As Lucios gets to his feet it is Poe’s turn to connect with a drop kick to Lucios’ jaw. Lucios gets to his feet and charges at Poe and Poe scoops him up and slams him to the mat and steps on his throat and reaches out and tags in Blitz. Blitz springs over the top rope and hits a rolling senton. Blitz covers, but Lucios is easily out at two. Blitz waits for Lucios to get to his feet, then springs off the bottom rope, and leaps at Lucios, but Lucios catches him, hits an inverted atomic drop, then nearly decapitates him with a cloithesline before tagging in Phantos. Phantos comes in and grabs a groggy Blitz’s arm as he gets to his feet, wrings it, then takes him to the mat with a crescent kick. Phantos covers, but only gets a two count. Phantos pulls Blitz to his feet and sends him to the corner but Blitz regains his composure and puts on the breaks and stops short of the turnbuckle, then elevates a charging Phantos over the ropes. Phantos lands on the apron, but Blitz grabs his head and guillotines him on the top rope. Phantos falls to the floor and Blitz is about to follow him to the outside when Tytan reaches out and tags himself into the match. Tytan hops off the apron and grabs Phantos and runs him back first into the apron, then scoops him up and tries to snap him in half against the ringpost before throwing him back into the ring. Tytan climbs back inside and covers, but Lucios pulls him off at two. Phantos gets to a sitting position and Tytan rears back and tries to kick his spine through his chest. Tytan pulls Phantos to his feet and lifts him into a torture rack trying for a submission. Phantos screams in pain but does not give up. Finally Tytan turns the move into a BURNING HAMMER and drives P{hantos to the mat! Tytan covers, but Dead makes it into the ring and breaks it up. Tytan gets to his feet and shoves The Dead to the mat. Dead gets to his feet and tells Tytan to calm down, focus on the champs. As Tytan turns to go back to Phantos, Dead POPS him with the Close the Casket! Tytan crumbles to the mat, the referee considers that a tag, making Dead the legal man in the ring. Dead charges into the ring and pulls Phantos to his feet and whips him chest first into the corner, as Phantos staggers back a few steps, Dead lifts him with a belly to back suplex and bridges for a two count. Dead pulls Phantos up and DRILLS him with a brain buster and makes another cover, this time Lucios breaks it up. Dead gets to his feet and shoves Lucios to the mat. He makes the tag to Blitz, who charges into the ring and immediately covers Phantos, Dead remains in the ring to ward off any attempt to break it up, and somehow Phantos rolls his shoulder at two. The Dead finally steps out of the ring and Tytan immediately drops off the apron and pulls Dead off the apron and the two begin to argue, and that quickly escalates into a brawl. Poe leaves the apron as well to try and break them up. Inside the ring, Blitz pulls Phantos to his feet and sends him to the ropes and Lucios makes the blind tag, on the rebound, Blitz tries a hip toss, but Phantos blocks it, then spins and throws Blitz into the ropes, as he rebounds, Phantos hits the mat, when Blitz leaps over him, Lucios steps into the ring and KILLS Blitz with a superkick! Lucios motions for the Dropkick Device! He hauls Blitz onto his shoulders and Phantos climbs to the top rope and leaps, as he connects Lucios THROWS Blitz off his shoulders and Blitz does a 360+ and slams into the mat! Lucios covers, hooking both legs. On the outside Dead sees it a moment too late, and tries to get into the ring, but Phantos keeps him out and Lucios gets the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 20:11 – and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios

After the match, Blitz gets to his feet and looks bitterly disappointed. The champions take their titles and hold them high in the air, then make their way to the back. The Dead slips back into the ring and consoles his partner, giving him the manly hug of giving your best effort. Blitz thanks him and turns to walk away, but Dead pulls him back, and grab him by the throat and shoves him back into the corner. Dead calls for a mic, and only inches from Blitz’s face, Dead speaks through teeth clenched with rage

Blitz, I warned you, I warned everyone else. I will NOT tolerate losing! Do you know what happens when you lose. You face my anger. I am giving you ONE more chance Blitz. We are entered in the OOWF Tag Team Invitational, this is your LAST opportunity. If you cost us in that, I promise you, you WILL NOT walk out of that ring

Russ: Well the champions retained, and that for them, is all that matters. I can’t say I condone The Dead’s actions however.
Jericho: Dead was simply sending Blitz a message, he will not tolerate losing, and there will be the consequences when it happens.
Nash: Tough love Russ, tough love
Russ: That doesn’t make it right
Razz: Yeah I gotta say, if a partner of mine did that to me, I would break my foot off up his ass. I understand that losing is not acceptable, but no man should treat another man like that.
Russ: My point exactly. Phantos and Lucios seem to be far from finished with Gods and Monsters, what do you think of these new challengers?
Nash: They look impressive. They are already working together well as a team, and that will only improve the more they work together. I think if Phantos and Lucios want to put their stamp on the OOWF Tag Team division, they have their work cut out for them with this team.
Jericho: Gods and Monsters looked good, I will give them that, but come on you guys, Phantos and Lucios are nothing BUT a team. They have been a team forever, these guys know one another inside and out, if there is such a thing as a wrestling machine, this is it. I think Gods and Monsters are the ones that have their work cut out for them.
Russ: Oh my god, They have the cage set up for the next match, what the hell is all that?
Russ: Folks, let me tell you, this match will not be for the weak at heart, I am not even completely sure this match is legal in the United States, but we are going ahead with it until someone shuts us down. Let me try to give you a mental picture here, the ring is completely surrounded by a steel cage, but it is not just a cage, the cage has barbed wire woven into mesh of the cage. The barbed wire itself has been dusted with what I am told is acid, making any cut, instantly unbearably painful. The ring is littered with all manner of weapons. Surrounding that, is a 30 foot high Hell in the Cell structure, it is also wrapped with barbed wire. Tables, ladders, chairs, and anything you can imagine are strewn around the ringside area. There is no door on the outer part of the cage, once it is lowered into place, the only way in or out is to raise the entire structure. There are no pinfalls or submissions, the referee is inside the ring, not to administer a ten count, ten seconds is no long enough. You must render your opponent motionless for a full minute before the match can be stopped. Oh, and for good measure, somewhere under the ring, there is C4 on a timer that will go off. However, no one knows what that timer is set on.
Nash: Who the hell would agree to something like this?
Russ: Moose and Crete, that is the level of hate that this feud has reached. I think this very demonic structure is the very embodiment of their hatred for one another
Jericho: You know, I have been in Hell in the Cell matches, I have been in Elimination Chamber matches, I have been in Ladder Matches, but this? No, I don’t think there is any way I would accept a match like this. Everywhere you look in there there is the potential for career ending injury
Russ: They want us to recap this feud, but honestly folks, how do you recap four years of hatred? It all started when Johnny Adrenaline, Intercontinental champion at the time, put a bounty on Crete’s head, and Moose decided to collect.
Nash: What does he have to do to collect that money? Kill him?
Razz: You can’t say he hasn’t tried
Nash: I think my favorite was when Moose tricked Crete into being his tag partner, only to turn on him later and get him suspended. That was quality/
Jericho: Crete told me about their match right before he left for the WWE, I didn’t believe it until I actually saw a copy of it. It was ridiculous. I have never seen that kind of hate. I don’t know Crete as well as you guys, and while I think his hopeless optimism is misplaced, I have to admire his ability to find good in every one and every situation. But when we talked about his feud with Moose, you could tell, there was nothing but hate there
Russ: And this is what it has finally come to. Supposedly this will be the last match between them, but unless one of them dies in this match – and from the looks of it, that is a very real possibility – I don’t think this will ever end. Folks, the bloodshed is about to begin, remember these two have already had two grueling matches tonight. I don’t know what to expect, but it won’t be pretty.

MOOSEHEAD JACK vs. CONCRETE TG – 3 Stages of Hell – Match 3: Stygian Cage Match

We go to the ring. The area around the ring has been cleared and Stygian cage is set up. We have a special referee brought in from Taiwan to officiate this match, they are used to this kind of barbarity Moose makes he way to the ring, and we see he is wearing a bulky knee brace and limping noticeably. Moose ducks under the outer Hell in the Cell which is hovering just a few feet above the floor. Once that is set down, there is no escape. Moose slowly walks around the ring and looks at the variety of weapons available to him. Instead of a look of fear that you would expect from most people, Moose has a look of excitement on his face, like a kid in a candy store. Moose steps into the inner cage and falls into the corner to wait. Concrete TG is announced next and makes his way to the ring. At the bottom of the ramp, Crete pauses for a moment and subconsciously rubs the back of his neck and winces in pain. Crete looks at the devilish structure that was HIS idea and pauses for a moment and almost looks like he regrets this choice, then sees Moose in the corner, watching him and grinning. Crete steels his resolve and steps into the cage. The outer cage sets down and the referee calls for the bell, this one is underway.

Crete walks to the middle of the ring and waits, staring a hole in Moose. Moose slowly gets to his feet and walks to the middle of the ring. The two go nose to nose in the center of the ring, and as they stand there glaring at one another, the arena gets silent with anticipation. As anticipation builds, just before it becomes completely unbearable, Moose breaks it with a headbut right between Crete’s eyes that drops Crete to one knee, but Crete does not stay down, he pops right back to his feet and catches Moose with a chop to the chest, then rakes his eyes and grabs Moose by the back of the head and heads toward the side of the cage. The crowd gasps with anticipation as it looks like Moose is headed into the barbed wire monstrosity, but Moose gets his foot up, grabs Crete and hits a side Russian leg sweep, slamming Crete’s head into the mat. Moose walks over to the can of plunder set in one corner, picks up the whole can and waits for Crete to get to his feet, then slams the full can of weapons into Crete’s face. Crete hits the mat, but again doesn’t stay down long, Crete spies a hockey stick and grabs that, and comes up swinging and catches Moose on the cheek with the blade of the stick, leaving a nice little slice on the cheek. As Moose turns away grabbing his face, Crete slams the stick across Moose’s back, sending him staggering across the ring. Crete gets a sadistic look on his face and snaps the wooden stick across his knee and charges at Moose slamming him upside the head with a broken piece of stick. Moose staggers back into the corner and falls to the mat, Crete charges in and catches Moose with a kick to the face, then drags him between the bottom and middle ropes and rakes his face across the barbed wire! The crowd erupts as Moose howls in pain.

Crete pulls Moose away from the cage, and we see several large gashes have already been opened on Moose’s forehead Crete tilts Moose’s head back and gouges at the cuts with one end of the broken hockey stick, opening the cuts even more and causing a fresh river of blood to flow from Moose’s forehead. Crete releases the hold, then kicks Moose on the back of the head sending him right back to the mat. Crete picks up another can of plunder and dumps it in the middle of the ring and kicks around the pile until he finds what he wants……CHAIR! Crete raises the chair and brings it down across Moose’s back several times, leaving little bloody cuts across his back each time. Crete appears to be possessed by hate as Moose crawls across the ring between shots from the chair. Moose gets to the corer and slumps there, breathing hard and wiping the blood from his face. Moose sees the pure hate on Crete’s face and grins, which only makes Crete more furious, Crete charges into the corner, but Moose pulls himself up and catches Crete with an elbow to the face as he comes into the corner. Moose then grabs Crete and THROWS HIM INTO THE CAGE face first! The fans recoil in horror as Crete hits the cage, and sticks there for a moment, before slowly falling off the cage to the mat between the ropes and the cage.

Moose grabs a piece of gutter from the pile of plunder and waits for Crete to pull himself to his feet. When he does, Moose brings the gutter down across Crete’s head as hard as he can, breaking the piece of gutter in half. The sharp piece of metal digs into Crete’s scalp opening a gash on the top of his head. Blood runs down the side of Crete’s head, but Moose is not done. He grabs CHAIR and jams it against Crete’s throat, pinning him against the barbed wire cage! The barbs tear into Crete’s back, while the barbed wire on the chair is right on Crete’s throat! Moose chokes Crete for a moment, Crete desperately tries to push the chair away, but now Moose is the one who looks possessed. Finally Crete goes limp and Moose moves the chair and Crete slumps on the top rope. Moose rears back and SLAMS the barbed wire chair onto Crete’s skull, sending him to the mat. Moose pulls Crete up snarling the whole time and threatening Crete’s life, Moose runs Crete down the apron and slams his face into the cage right next to the door, then gets as much of a running start as he can and catches Crete with a forearm to the side of the head that sends Crete out of the cage to the floor. Moose follows after Crete, limping down the steps. Crete lies on the floor grabbing his neck, so Moose pulls him up and hits a swinging neck breaker on the floor.

Moose reaches under the ring and pulls out a table and drags it to the side of the cage and sets it up. Moose looks at the table, it appears to be missing something. Moose sees Crete getting to his feet and grabs him and scoops him up and slams him across the steps, then drops a knee across his throat, driving him to the floor. Moose turns his attention back to the table, he looks under the ring again and pulls out a board with rolls of barbed wire stapled to it. Moose sets that on top of the table, then one more time grabs something under the ring. When he stands back up, he sees Crete stirring, so he shoves whatever it is into his pockets and we never get a good look at it. Moose turns back to Crete but it is too late, Moose catches a barbed wire bat to the side of the head that sends him to the floor. Crete rummages under the ring and pulls out two chairs. Crete sets one chair up and puts Moose’s head through the back of the chair, so it is resting on the seat, then raises the other chair and SLAMS it down on Moose’s skull! Moose doesn’t move, but a puddle of blood slowly spreads across the seat of the chair. Moose is not moving. The referee moves in and is about to start the timer to end the match, when Crete grabs him by the shirt and threatens him with death if he even thinks about it. Crete goes back and rummages under the ring and pulls out a ladder, which is naturally wrapped in barbed wire and stands it up. Crete slowly climbs the ladder, then turns, and LEAPS off the ladder, DROPPING A LEG ACROSS THE BACK OF MOOSE’s HEAD SMASHING THE CHAIR!!! The crowd pops with the VERY appropriate HOLY SHIT chant.

Crete grabs his leg in pain and drags himself away from the carnage. When the referee zooms in a little bit we see that Crete has sliced the back of his leg open. Nasty. Crete drags himself to the ring and reaches under and pulls out some duct tape and wraps it around his leg to keep the wound from opening more. Sabu would be proud. The referee’s timer gets to 45 seconds before Moose stirs and slowly gets to his knees. Moose HAS to have a concussion. Moose gets to his feet, the chair still around his neck, and takes a few steps, then falls forward into the cage, tearing a gash in his arm. Crete slowly gets to his feet and starts climbing the ladder. Moose spies him, and starts climbing the opposite side of the ladder. Crete grabs a kendo stick from the plunder before he heads up the ladder, and Moose grabs his trusty barbed wire bat. As the two mortal enemies climb up the ladder, exhausted and bloody, remember, this is their third match of the night so far, they take shots at one another from around the ladder. Moose catches Crete with a glancing blow to the side of the head that almost sends the hero off the ladder to the floor, but Crete regains his composure. They make it to the top of the ladder, and the two trade shots like it was a hockey fight. Crete swings wildly and Moose manages to avoid the shot, then grabs Crete’s head and slams it down on the top of the ladder! Moose goozles Crete, and the ladder starts to shake, Moose manages to pull Crete off the ladder and CHOKESLAM HIM ON TOP OF THE CAGE!!

Moose jumps off the ladder and lands on his feet on top of the cage as well, just as the ladder falls over, tipped on its side against the side of the Hell in the Cell. Now, folks, remember, the cage is interwoven with barbed wire, and this includes the top of the cage, so when Crete hit the top of the cage, he essentially landed on a bed of barbed wire. Moose stands over Crete, who tries to move, but with each move, the barbs tear into his flesh a little more. Moose takes the barbed wire bat and REPEATEDLY brings it down on Crete’s ribs! Crete coughs up blood and his eyes roll into his head as he appears to lose consciousness. The referee stands the ladder up and climbs about half way up the ladder, but Moose kicks the ladder again, sending it tipping back over, sending the referee to the floor. Moose carefully and slowly walks to the edge of the cage and looks down at the table with the barbed wire board on it. He reaches into his pocket and we see what he had shoved in there earlier. Moose produces a large bottle of lighter fluid and from the top of the cage doused the board! Oh no. Moose then soaks a little piece of fabric and stuffs it into the bottle, looks over his shoulder and sees that Crete has regained consciousness, and somehow is on one knee. Moose lights the cloth and tosses it off the cage, it hits the table and the table ERUPTS into flames! Moose walks over to Crete and starts to pull him to his feet, but Crete NAILS Moose in the jewels with the kendo stick! Moose doubles over in pain, and Crete gets to his feet and runs Moose to the side of the cage and THROWS MOOSE OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Moose hurtles through space and hits THE SIDE OF THE HELL IN THE CELL CAGE back first, and slides down the cage, tearing skin from his side, then FALLS RIGHT ONTO THE BURNING TABLE! SMASHING THROUGH THE TABLE, AND GETTING WRAPPED IN WHAT IS NOW HOTBARBED WIRE!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!

The crowd goes silent, thinking they may have just seen Moose die. After just a few seconds, Moose tries to roll out of the rubble, most of the fire now having burned off, but Moose remains hopelessly tangled in hot, sharp barbed wire. Moose gets to his feet once, takes a step, then collapses to the floor in a heap of gore, barbed wire, and broken wood. The referee stands there too stunned to move for several seconds. On top of the cage, Crete stands there and looks at what just happened, then suddenly becomes very aware of the thousands of eyes on him. Crete slowly looks around, then grabs his head and stumbles a bit, then Crete’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls backward AND CRASHES THROUGH THE TOP OF THECAGE INTO THE RING! Mick Foley would be proud, but Crete may also be DEAD! The crowd gasps, then pops another HOLY SHIT chant! Both men are down!

Several OOWF wrestlers from both sides have made their way to ringside and surround the cage. There is concern on everyone’s face, has this FINALLY gone too far? We can see GM the Rick AND LJ Bennett furiously discussing raising the cage and getting medical help to both men. Just when it looks like they are going to relent, a battered, bloody, burned and concussed Moose gets to his feet, pulling himself up using the cage. Moose still has barbed wire tangled around his body. Moose stumbles zombie like toward the ring, his hatred for Crete pushing min on. Moose crawls through the door, toward the still-prone Crete in the middle of the ring. As Moose gets to Crete, Crete begins to come to, and Crete lands a few stiff kicks to Moose’s face, but Moose keeps on toward Crete. The two enemies meet in the middle of the ring on their knees and trade shots. They use one another to get to their feet, but can barely stand without help. Moose avoids a Crete swing and grabs his arm and hits a HEARTPUNCH! Crete, struggles to stay on his feet, his eyes get glassy, and he spits up blood. Moose knees Crete in the gut, and DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT. Moose sits next to Crete happy with the carnage, but still not done. Moose drags himself to the corner and digs through the plunder and pulls out Eric’s sledgehammer and pulls himself up, then starts to climb the ropes! Oh dear god no! Moose gets to the top rope and steadies himself using the side of the cage and lifts the sledgehammer! It looks like Moose is going to drive the sledge off the top rope into Crete’s skull! Just before Moose leaps, we hear a timer go off. What the hell? Moose looks around trying to find the beeping. He looks down into the can of plunder in that corner and his eyes get wide, a second later THE C4 GOES OFF! The force of the explosion sends Moose back into the wall of the cage, which gives way! Moose falls gets tangled in the barbed wire and cage and SLAMS onto the floor on the outside where he lies in a heap.

We cut quickly to the crowd where people are staring in shock! From the outside Rick and Bennett yell at the referee to start the timer since both men are down. He does, and we see the countdown on the screen. After thirty seconds neither man has moved. The crowd begins to chant for Crete, at forty-five seconds Crete stirs and begins to drag himself to the ropes. On the outside Moose finally opens his eyes, but is badly tangled in the wreckage. Fifty five seconds and Crete pulls himself up using the ropes. At fifty-nine seconds Crete takes a couple steps away from the ropes! The Time is up! Crete has won!
WINNER in 44:11 – Concrete TG

Almost immediately Crete collapses to the mat. The cage is raised before the bell even finishes ringing and medical officials storm the ring and check on Crete. The ring crew heads over to Moose and begins to cut away cage and barbed wire from Moose, just so we can get medics in there to check on the injuries. The camera pans over to GM the Rick who has a shocked look on his face. We try to catch LJ Bennett, but all we see is him turn away and cover his face with a handkerchief. Perhaps, finally, things have gone TOO far.

Russ: THOSE ARE DAMNED HUMAN BEINGS IN THERE! The human body CAN NOT take that kind of abuse! I am sickened by this! DAMN YOU OOWF, YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!
Nash:……
Razz: Yeah……wow. I have seen a lot. I thought my time in ECW and Japan had steeled me to this kind of thing, but………wow
Jericho: I don’t even know what to say. The brutality was almost painful to watch, I see what you guys meant, this was pure hatred. I think had either of them died in the ring, the other would have been relieved rather than horrified.
Russ: I have never done this before, but I am calling out the OOWF officials, whoever made the decision to allow this. You CAN NOT ever allow this match to happen again. You can not EVER allow this structure to be built. Stick to Taipei matches. Stick to barbed wire matches, but this was just too much. Never again.
Nash: I……am at a loss for words here
Razz: That is a first
Russ: Both Crete and Moose have been taken to the local Dayton hospital for evaluation, we have no word on their injuries, once we hear something, if we hear something, we will let you know. I think the best thing we can do now is to move on to the rest of the matches this evening.

<While the ring crew clean up the cage and gore of the ring, we get a recap of The Midnight Sons run as a tag team and DH Magnusson’s rise as a solo star>

Russ: Out next match should be something special. Two hard-nosed individuals who know one another well. This should be a battle of wills in that ring.
Razz: Well it just shows that here in the OOWF you don’t get any breathers. DH Magnusson just won that title on Wednesday from Alexander Darling, and four days later he is defending it against his former tag team partner, and one tough sonofabitch in Spin Hansen.
Jericho: You know, using a little analysis on this, I think you would have to agree that Spin Hansen has the advantage in this match
Russ: How so?
Jericho: Well, Spin is a former Onslaught champion, and one of the longest reigning Onslaught champions to boot. He knows what it takes to be a singles champion, Magnusson still has to be in awe that he won. The advantage has to go to Spin
Nash: No so fast Jericho. Spin WAS the Onslaught champion, but it has been a long time since he held a singles title. He has been in the same boat as Magnusson here recently, they were tag champs. They know one another well, but Magnusson has had to compete at the higher level in the last few weeks while he was chasing the belt. I think that gives him the decided advantage.
Razz: Magnusson DOES have the advantage of being the champion thought, Spin has to beat HIM, HE doesn’t have to beat Spin
Russ: Whatever the case may be, this should be a good clean match between two men that respect one another’s abilities and each other. Certainly a change of pace from the match that preceded it. Lets go to the ring.

[Jack Quinn]

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SPIN HANSEN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Spin Hansen is announced and comes out to the top of the ramp. He stands there for a moment, but does not head to the ring. The fans initial cheers turn to murmurs of uncertainty. Is Spin going to attack his former partner? The new OOWF Intercontinental champion DH Magnusson is announced next and he comes out and raises his hands to acknowledge the crowd. Magnusson sees Spin standing there, and the two men move toward one another. Spin sticks his hand out, and Magnusson grabs his hand and the two exchange a manly hug of mutual respect. Once that is out of the way, the two men hop off the stage and hop the guard rail and make their way to the ring through the crowd slapping hands with the fans as they makes their way to the ring. Spin and DH climb to the apron and pose for the crowd, which give them an even more thunderous applause. The Midnight Sons step between the ropes and DH hands the referee his title. The ref holds the belt above his head, this is what you are fighting for boys. The ref hands off the title and calls for the bell, this one is underway. The two meet in the center of the ring and bump knuckles one more time, then slowly circle and lock up. Neither man is able to get the advantage initially, but finally Spin gets a little lower and manages to push Magnusson to the corner. The referee calls for the clean break and Spin gives it to him, and backs back into the middle of the ring. Magnusson meets him in the middle of the ring and they lock up again. Spin grabs a side head lock and Magnusson sends him to the ropes. Spin nails Magnusson with a shoulder block that sends the champ to the mat. Spin hits the ropes again and Magnusson stays on the mat, Spin steps over him and bounds off the far rope. Magnusson shows surprising agility and leapfrogs Spin, then catches him on the rebound with a snap powerbomb, but can’t even get a one count before Spin rolls his shoulder. Magnusson gets to his feet and Spin is up to one knee, Magnusson charges and catches Spin on the side of the head with a big boot sending him back to the mat. Magnusson drops an elbow across Spins chest, then grabs his arm and tries an arm bar, but Spin blocks it and fights back to his feet. Magnusson still has hold of Spin’s arm and wrings it, but Spin frees himself by grabbing Magnusson’s head and repeatedly slamming him in the face with head butts. After about five of them Magnusson lets go of the arm and staggers back a few steps. Spin shocks the world next by throwing a drop kick that catches Magnusson on the chest and sends him staggering back into the corner. Spin gets to his feet and charges trapping Magnusson in the corner with an avalanche/clothesline. As Magnusson staggers out of the corner, Spin grabs him from behind and hits a trio of German suplexes, bridging on the last one and getting a two count. Magnusson kicks out, then rolls under the bottom rope to regain his composure. Spin gives him a second to collect himself, then steps out of the ring and grabs DH from behind, traps his arms and is going to try a double chickenwing suplex, but Magnusson blocks it, frees himself and spins around Spin, picks him up for an atomic drop, then DRILLS him with a clubbing clothesline to the back of the head! Spin falls face first onto the floor. Magnusson pulls him to his feet and sends him into the ring, follows, covers, and gets a two count. Magnusson pulls Spin to a sitting position and locks him in the STUMP PULLER! Magnusson keeps all his weight on Spin, cutting off his air, we can see Spin really struggling with this one. There is no way he can make it to the ropes, so Spin does the only thing left that he can possibly do, he reaches up and rakes the eyes forcing the break and drawing a warning from the referee. Magnusson staggers around the ring and Spin gets to his feet and hits the ropes and takes Magnusson out with a spear. Spin covers and gets a two count, but Magnusson gets his foot on the bottom rope and avoids the three count. Spin pulls Magnusson to his feet and rocks him with several European uppercuts, then sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a THUNDEROUS spinebuster! Spin covers again, hooking the leg, and once again gets a two count with Magnusson kicking out JUST before the three. Spin gets to his feet and calls for the HAIR OF THE DOG! The fans support this decision, and Spin waits for Magnusson to get to his feet, then hauls him up in a vertical suplex, but Magnusson fights out of it, and lands behind Spin and hits the DREAM STREET! Magnusson tries to lock in the dragon sleeper, but he is too close to the ropes and he falls between the middle and bottom rope, pulling Spin out of the ring with him. Both men hit the floor, hard, and remain down. The referee starts the ten count. Spin makes it to his feet first, and grabs Magnusson and shoots him into the ring, Spin makes it in just before the referee hits ten. Spin pulls Magnusson up and tries a whip to the ropes, but Magnusson reverses the whip, pulls Spin back, and hits the JERSEY HAMMER! Spin staggers, but does not go down, Magnusson grabs him and hits a HANGMAN’S NECKBREAKER! Covers, one, two, thre…..NO! Spin rolls his shoulder again! Magnusson shows a bit of frustration. Magnusson catches Spin with several clubbing shots to the head, backing him into the corner. Magnusson whips him across the ring, but Spin reverses it and sends Magnusson slamming into the corner, Spin charges, but Magnusson sidesteps and Spin SLAMS chest first into the corner! And I mean SLAMS, like, moved the ring a few inches slammed into the corner. Magnusson grabs Spin and hits the DREAM STREAT again, this time he has him trapped in the middle of the ring! Spin fights the move, nearly bridging out of it, but finally, he realizes he can’t escape and taps out.
WINNER in 22:29 – DH Magnusson

Magnusson gets to his feet and grabs his title, then drops the belt and helps Spin to his feet. Spin is frustrated about the loss, but nods at his partner and claps for him, then raises his arm in victory, bending over to grab the IC title and hand it to Magnusson. They share a very manly hug of mutual respect, then leave the ring and hop the guardrail and leave through the back, exchanging high fives and hugs with the fans.

Russ: Now THAT is the kind of action I want to see! Two men giving it all they have in the ring, then shaking hands after the outcome! THAT is sportsmanship! That is pure wrestling! That is…..
Nash: Boring
Jericho: It was a fine display of wrestling, and a nice touching moment that the OOWF can add to their recap package, but I have to agree, a match between friends is hardly a great match
Russ: Why are you still here?
Jericho: Because I am the world champion jack, I do what I like
Razz: I have a feeling that was just the tip of the iceberg for those two though. I think it is fair to say Spin is in line for more shots at Magnusson’s title, and Spin knows that. As great as it would have been for him to win tonight, you don’t show your opponent everything you can do in one match. He knows more about Magnusson after tonight, these two could develop a healthy rivalry in the next few months
Nash: Well, if they are going to do that, I hope one of them turns on the other one and hits him with a chair or something, get some anger in these matches.
Russ: Not everything has to be a bloodletting. Folks our final title match for the evening is for the World Heavyweight title. Davin Moreland gets what may be his last shot at LD Williams tonight, what are your thoughts?
Razz: Well, I think Davin may have underestimated LD Williams a bit, and I think you can thank LJ Bennett for that
Russ: What?
Nash: Razz is right. When Davin became the number one contender, Bennett figured out a way to make him jump through hoops, stripping him of the contendership and making him work to earn it back. In Davin’s eyes, Bennett was doing this because LD was a weak champion, he thought he was protecting him. Now, anyone who knows Williams knows that that isn’t true. When Moreland finally got his shots, he had it in his head that Williams was a soft champion, and he went into those matches less prepared than he should have been, and he lost
Jericho: That is why you NEVER underestimate your opponent. Ever.
Razz: It only takes three seconds for you to lose a match. You have to be on guard, and prepared for every second of your match. You let up for just a bit, and it is over. LD Williams is one of the most prepared champions I have ever seen. He takes each challenger as equals and he would prepare for “Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard just as hard as he would Davin Moreland
Russ: LD Williams has been a phenomenal champion, there is no question. But to me, Davin has that hunger about him that is so important for a champion. He really believes that this is his time, it is his……..destiny for lack of a better term, to be the champion.
Jericho: It takes more than a belief in destiny Russ
Russ: It does indeed, and I think Moreland has that, I think tonight, we crown a new world champion
Nash: I can’t agree with you Russ. It is easier to retain a title than it is to win the title. LD Williams is like a bulldog out there, you have to practically kill him to beat him, and I just don’t think Davin has enough to keep Williams down
Razz: I am going to agree with Nash on this one. Williams has proven that he is better than Davin, I think he continues that tonight.
Jericho: You expect me to pick against a fellow Canadian? Not going to happen.
Russ: With that, let’s go to the ring

LD WILLIAMS vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

The house lights in the arena go out and the crowd starts buzzing and the Jumbotron comes to life. It says “The OOWF World Heavyweight Championship” and to some generic flashback music showing clips of all the past winners winning the World Heavyweight Championship, Microplay, Niles Anderson, Concrete TG, Moosehead Jack, Hardbody Harris, etc. etc. until it gets to LD beating Stank for the title. The screen freezes in place as LD’s hand is getting raised, and it says “The Champion”. To different generic flashback music we see a retrospective of LD Williams’ career, from his time with Johnny Adrenaline, to his insanely long Intercontinental Title reign, to kz, to Weapon X, to his big feuds, and finally back to winning the Championship over Stank again. The video package is surprisingly greeted with some respectful applause and a very nice ovation. The Jumbotron goes blank again, and then the words “The Challenger” appear on the screen, and the crowd goes batshit as a picture of Davin Moreland hitting a Really Good Diamond Cutter on someone appears under the words. To Lux Aeterna: we see Davin Moreland’s career retrospective from the day he walked into the OOWF talking to Clangy Pole, to eventually almost getting killed by Cole, to the interview with Katie Couric outside of Worcester State Hospital, to his defeat of LD Williams and Underdawg, to beating Cole 5 straight times, to finally winning the Onslaught Title, to everyone during that reign he made tap out, to the photoshoots with Stank, OBJ and Eco and Volt, to forming Run DEA with Phantos and Lucios, to disguising himself as the cameraman and beating the crap out of DEA, to getting screwed out of the Onslaught Title, to screwing Eric out of the title, to beating Cole in the best-of-seven to get the #1 Contender’s Spot, to Davin slapping an ankle lock on Poe, to Davin beating all 5 people in the Gauntlet ending with the convincing win over Stank. The screen goes blank for a bit as the crowd screams its head off. The words “The History” come up on the screen which is greeted with even more cheers. We see Davin early in his career getting a lucky roll-up win on LD, we see the trash-talking across feuds; promos, matches, intermediaries, then the matches of the series including the 16-man tag and the last one where Creech may have quick counted Davin (this draws boos). A still picture of Davin and LD in a lockup comes on the screen and superimposed over the picture are the words “The OOWF World Heavyweight Championship” then changes to “The Big Prize” then changes to “Has Never Been Bigger” then changes to “The Stakes have Never Been Higher” then changes to “Team Bennett – Team Rick” then changes to “Williams – Moreland” then changes to the logo for “Hell On Earth IV”. The houselights come up and the screen just says “Starting”…then underneath eventually the word “NOW!” comes up to a huge ovation.

And it gets even huger as “Pull Me Under” starts up and we see Davin Moreland shadow boxing on the top of the ramp in full boxing attire (sans gloves) with Samantha Darling in a very formal cocktail dress for the big occasion. Davin acknowledges the fans but doesn’t stop tonight; there are bigger fish to fry. Davin does his Double Jump of Amazing Athleticism into the ring and hels Samantha in. He takes off his robe and stuff and does some “stand on the turnbuckle crowd acknowledgement”. Finally he and Samantha share a look, and Davin lets her out onto the floor. Davin’s doing some rope bouncing and stretching while trying to talk to Davis Hightower, the mutually agreed upon referee, in his first big-time PPV match. “Jekyll and Hyde” starts up and LD Williams appears at the top of the ramp, also in full boxing attire, and wearing his Championship Belt. There are a smattering of markish boos; but the vast majority of the crowd is giving LD a standing ovation out of respect for his title reign. LD soaks in the cheers without actually acknowledging them before getting into the ring. He ditches the attire and climbs the turnbuckles to pose with the belt, and Davin AGAIN is giving him legitimate applause from across the ring. There’s enough “respect” going on right now that Moose would clearly be ROO if he was watching. Finally, he hands the belt to Hightower who holds it high in the air. This match will be for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower then calls them both over, presumably to talk about the match. Rumor has it that the Championship Committee has instructed Hightower to be VERY lenient in regards to Countouts and DQs; it’s not a “No DQ” match; but Hightower is to let a lot go in the name of competition. Presumably, this is what Hightower is talking to the two wrestlers about; and they’re both nodding and kind of smiling. Hightower, perhaps falling back on his boxing referee background directs the two to “touch gloves”. Both kind of smirk at Hightower’s mistake, but they do fist bump and retreat to opposite sides of the ring. Hightower calls for the bell…and WE’RE UNDERWAY!

Straight lockup to start, and predictably, Davin shoves LD in the corner. Not so predictably, Davin gives the clean break and backs up. They go back to the middle and look to lockup again, but LD ducks at the last second, and drives his shoulder right into Davin’s gut. LD follows that up with a Swinging Neckbreaker. LD hits the ropes and nails a little Flying Elbow to the face. LD covers, and that gets a short 2 count. LD pulls Davin up and ROCKS him with a big Uppercut. Davin is WOOZY and LD hits the ropes and hits a pretty Running Cross-Body, and floats right into the cover; that gets a longer 2. LD hits a couple of Greco-Roman punches to the face, hits the near ropes and lands a Knee right in Davin’s face. Davin instinctively rolls over onto his stomach, and LD takes this opportunity to hook on a STF! The STF is applied and Davin is in a bad, bad way right now, and LD knows it, really pulling back on it. Davin inches ever so slowly to the ropes; and luckily they’re nearby. LD hangs on for all he’s worth, but after a minute and a half or so, Davin does get the ropes. LD uses up 3 of a 5 count before letting go. Davin takes advantage of the distraction of Hightower forcing LD to break and slips to the outside and flops on the floor; he’s gotten nothing done to this point.

LD is having none of this and SLINGSHOT PLANCHAS his way onto Davin. LD hits some more punches to the face before he decides to do some housecleaning on the Cummaquidian Announce Table. Samantha sees LD’s plan and implores LD to stop, but LD just fires back with “Stay out of it”. Samantha looks like she’s made the decision to get involved anyway; but Davin acts before he can, and DRILLS LD with a HUGE CLOTHESLINE from behind, and LD falls against the table. Davin rams LD’s head into the table a couple of times before WHIPPING him into the STEEL STEPS, splaying them everywhere. Davin is on him quickly, and WHIPS LD into the barrier. Davin, still trying to shake out the effects of the beatdown earlier is a bit slow getting over to LD, and LD BACK BODY DROPS him INTO THE CROWD! Davin splatted right on the concrete, and LD shakes out the cobwebs a bit, and steps over the barrier going to work. He pulls Davin up and starts UNLOADING with lefts and rights to the face, which is forcing Davin up the stairs. Finally LD charges and hits a Thesz Press on the next level platform, peppering Davin with more punches; and it looks like he’s busted Davin open in a couple of places. Somehow, Davin is able to kick LD off, and LD goes flying into the metal railing face first. Ow. Both men are down, and Davis Hightower is just watching from the ring as a spectator. He’s not counting. Davin and LD get up at the same time, and they both run at each other. However, LD hits a DROP TOE HOLD and Davin AGAIN goes fact first into the concrete. LD pulls a very bloody Davin up again and pulls him all the way up to the next level of stairs near the luxury boxes. Davin is out on his feet and doing everything within his power just to stand up. LD KICKS Davin in the gut. DDT ON THE CONCRETE! As Davin rolls over, we see a gusher opened up from his forehead. LD pulls up a nearly unconscious Davin to his feet and DROPKICKS HIM DOWN THE STAIRS! Davin thankfully isn’t dead, as he ended up barrel-rolling all the way down, and I mean ALL the way down into the barrier. LD takes a minute to rest as the crowd gasps in shock and Hightower and Samantha Darling check on Davin.

LD finally has had enough of resting and slowly makes his way down the stairs. Somehow, Davin has waved off both Samantha and Hightower, although by the looks of him, there doesn’t seem there could be a way he’d be conscious enough to communicate. LD finally makes his way to Davin, who hasn’t moved an inch, and LD pulls him up and leans him against the barrier. LD hits ANOTHER DROPKICK, which not only sends Davin over the barrier and onto the floor, but apparently aggravated some cracked or broken ribs from the fall down the stairs, as Davin is now visibly having trouble breathing. LD is on him and seems to be moving well. It looks like LD has one more trick up his sleeve before he puts this one away. He puts Davin on the previously housecleaned Cummaquidian Announce Table, and then climbs on it himself. He pulls Davin to his feet, and Davin wobbles back and forth. LD hooks Davin in…he’s gonna DDT HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE…but NO! Davin somehow gets out of the headlock and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

Styles: Oh. My. God.

The crowd is “holy-shitting” themselves at the unexpected show of life from Davin. LD has been busted open now, and Hightower is down to check on the two. Both appear to have said something, so Hightower makes the sign for “we’re still going”. Both men are moving, but Davin is up to his knees. Davin’s face is completely bloodied, and his mouth is open, because apparently that’s the only way he can breathe. He gets to his feet, wobbly, but he’s up. He grabs one of the monitors that LD housecleaned earlier and CAVES LD’S SKULL WITH IT! LD is busted open again. Davin goes over to Samantha, and asks for the towel, and wipes his face off; apparently he couldn’t see. Davin is clearly still having trouble breathing and is in an immense amount of pain; but LD is unconscious. Davin pulls LD up, and WHIPS him into the STEEL POST, and LD hit it FACE FIRST as he was unable to get his hands up to protect himself. As LD teeters backward, Davin DROPKICKS LD in the back of the head, sending his face into the STEEL POST again. LD reflexively stumbles backward again, and Davin hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER ON THE STEEL STEPS! LD is DEAD! Davin is apparently not done and heads all the way up to the top rope inside the ring. The crowd is just electric with chanting and cheering as they have been throughout this match, but as Davin turns to face Hightower inside the ring; there’s an eerie silence. Davin tries for a MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE…but LD MANAGES TO ROLL off the stairs and Davin CRASHES AND BURNS RIGHT ON THE STEEL STEPS! The scream of pain reverberates throughout the arena, and you can almost hear Davin gasping for breath now. After a good 2 minutes of neither man moving, and Hightower about ready to call for the bell, LD starts to move. LD is finally to his feet, and goes over to a nearly dead Davin. He pulls him up, and hits a DDT ON THE STEEL STEPS! Davin lets out a weird yelp, and it immediately concerns everyone. Everyone but LD that is. LD bundles Davin back into the ring; and LD takes his time but finally makes his way into the ring as well. LD raises his arm as he stands in the ring, and makes the lateral press…1, 2, thre….NO! NO! NO! He got his shoulder up SOMEHOW! LD can NOT believe it and immediately makes another cover…1, 2, thre…NO! He kicked out again! LD has a priceless shocked look on his face before slapping the mat in frustration.

LD then just lands multiple knee drops into Davin’s ribs, and it does appear Davin is bleeding from his mouth now, potentially some internal injuries. LD covers again, and AGAIN Davin just does kick out at two. LD literally can’t believe it and noticeably stands still for a second, trying to figure out what to do. He decides, and rolls Davin onto his back. LD locks on a BOSTON CRAB! No WAY can Davin hang on through this one. Davin’s got that weird yelping scream going on; but he REFUSES to tap out. It looks as if Davin is going in and out of consciousness, and LD just keeps screaming “ASK HIM!” Somehow, Davin dives for the ropes, and gets them to a HUGE ovation. As Hightower breaks up the hold, LD legitimately thinks he’s won, and raises his arm. Hightower has to explain that Davin got to the ropes and the match continues. Davin hasn’t moved since grabbing the ropes, and is clearly using all his energy just to breathe. LD finally turns his attention to Davin and pulls him to his feet. LD, the brilliant tactician that he is, starts landing BODY BLOWS on Davin, lefts and rights, each one appearing to hurt more than the last. Davin gets pushed all the way into the corner, and LD CONTINUES the assault. If this were a boxing match, it would be stopped by now. After one punch, however, Davin grabs LD’s arm before it connects. LD throws another punch, and Davin catches that arm, and Davin unleashes a HEADBUTT, and ANOTHER before LD falls down and I think his nose is broken now.

Davin takes a second to try (unsuccessfully) to catch his breath, and climbs the turnbuckle, and faces out toward the crowd.

Russ: BAH GAWD HE’S INSANE! HE’S GONNA DIE!

Davin tries another beautiful MOONSAULT…AND IT CONNECTS! Davin bounces up grabbing his ribs. He puts his hands on his knees and takes a second before going over to LD. LD is in rough shape now too. Davin pulls LD up, and HITS A DDT! Davin stumbles to the ropes and bounces off hitting a HUGE HOGAN LEGDROP to the roar of the crowd. A close-up camera shot of Davin shows a little smile and what could be tears in his eyes. Or it could be the glossy-eyed look of being near death. Davin gets up and limps over to LD, and pulls him up by the hair and stands him up; he’s very deliberate, and pausing it looks like as he’s got LD upright. He takes as deep a breath as possible, and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin hooks the leg and covers! 1, 2, 3! WE’VE GOT A NEW CHAMP!
WINNER in 41:19 by PINFALL and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…DAVIN MORELAND!

The confetti falls immediately after the bell rings, and there is a loud “DA-VIN” chant going on in the crowd. Davin is on his knees with his face buried in his hands. Hightower quickly hands him the belt and raises his arm to a thunderous cheer. Davin clutches the belt to his chest with tears streaming down his face. He stands up just as Samantha Daring comes running into the ring and throws her arms around him. Davin responds by giving her a big, long kiss which draws an even bigger cheer from the crowd. Samantha appears shocked when its over but then breaks out into a huge smile, just as Diamond Dallas Page and Davin’s Mom come into the ring. They all trade hugs and raise arms, and Davin notices LD, just now moving trying to get out of the ring. Davin stops him and says something to him, and pulls LD to his feet. Davin raises LD’s arm and points to him; and the crowd responds again with a monster cheer for the former champ. They do this to all 4 sides of the ring, ending in a solid handshake and pats on the shoulder as the crowd starts a “That Was Awesome” chant. DDP helps to strap up Davin, and the four leave the ring to a thunderous ovation.

Russ: BAH GAWD HE DID IT! HE DID IT! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!
Razz: I gotta give Davin a bit of respect there, he showed some class at the end of the match, I didn’t think Davin would go that way with it.
Jericho: It’s typical of you Americans, another Canadian is screwed out of his title, and all you can talk about is what a great job Davin Moreland did of screwing him. Well done.
Nash: Hey, Chris, from where I am sitting, and you gotta admit I have a MUCH better vantage point than you do, it looked clean to me
Jericho: Ahh a short joke, very clever Nash, very clever. I see that’s your thing, you rip on other people try to make them feel bad so you can feel better about yourself, well let me ask you something Nash, when the hell was the last time you were even relevant in wrestling? Ten years ago? This ain’t wCw and this ain’t the nWo, so take your opinions and keep them to yourself
Razz: YEAH!
Nash: Eat one Razz. Jericho is just mad because once again, a vanilla midget got what he deserved….a beating in the ring, one, two, three. I may not like Moreland, but I know what he is all about, and that, right now, is being a champion
Russ: Folks our congratulations go out to Davin Moreland for bringing the title home to the OOWF. This brings us to out next match, and I daresay this is the biggest match in OOWF history. This War Games match will settle the dispute that has divided the OOWF for over nine months. Team Rick and Team Bennett have been warring for months trying to wrest control from one another. Tonight, in this very ring, we will settle this matter once and for all.
Nash: I gotta say, on paper these teams are pretty even. I think maybe Team Bennett has the slight edge, they are getting a rested and refreshed Johnny Adrenaline back. It may not sound like much, but everyone else in this match has been through the wringer for months, a pair of fresh fists in this match is going to be enough to put them over the top.
Razz: See, Johnny Adrenaline is the very reason why I am picking Team Rick to win this one. Yeah The Chickenshit Heels appear to be back together, but they managed to reunite Drink & Destroy, something I never thought I would see. That right there rejuvenates Team Rick and makes them the favorites in my mind
Jericho: you know, in the end, it really isn’t going to matter who wins this match. What is going to make the biggest difference is who SURVIVES this match. If you can walk out of this match the same, you are very very lucky. That said, I think Team Bennett has the burning desire. Eric O’Mac will not let this team lose.
Russ: You know, in all my years in this business I have never felt the weight of a match like I do tonight. I have called my share of big matches in my career, but I think this trumps them all. The very survival of the OOWF hangs in the balance. In my heart, I want Team Rick to win this one to restore order to the OOWF so we can get back to some sense of normalcy in this federation. That said, despite my hopes, I fear that Team Bennett has the stronger team. Alexander Darling is not 100%, he has an injured shoulder, I just don’t like the chances. I……you know, no, I am not going to back away, I am picking Team Rick to pull this one out. Much like Davin Moreland, they WILL FIND a way to win, I believe our jobs all rely on it. Seems like there is nothing more to say, lets head to the ring

[Jack Quinn]

WAR GAMES! – Team Rick: Stank, Alexander Darling, Outback Jack, Firewoman and FF Capslock vs. Team Bennett: Eric O’Mac, Chris Cole, Attitude Adjuster, Ryan Hardcore and Johnny Adrenaline

This is it folks. It has been many months since Chris Cole fired the first shots when he attacked OOWF General Manager The Rick. Eric O’Mac, Moosehead Jack, and LD Williams among others soon joined Cole as they brought in former PHWF Owner L.J. Bennett to oppose Rick and perceived injustices. For the opening salvos of this war it was all Team Bennett, as Davin Moreland stood alone for Rick. In time some obvious allies and some not so obvious allies joined him. Tonight, some of those allies have been chosen to represent Rick and it’s quite an interesting crew when looked at from an outsider’s perspective as team captain Stank will be joined by longtime friend Outback Jack and new allies Alexander Darling and Firewoman to stand by his side.

We’ve heard conflicting reports on quite a few things regarding this match tonight but we do know a few things. First we have at least 4 wrestlers per side announced already with Stank, Alexander Darling, Outback Jack, and Firewoman opposing Eric O’Mac, Chris Cole, Ryan Hardcore, and Attitude Adjuster. We also know that LJ Bennett’s team won the right to send their 2nd person into the ring first to give them the advantage throughout the match. With regards to the rules of this match, it’s actually quite simple. Two wrestlers start and every 5 minutes thereafter another wrestler will enter the ring from alternating sides until both sides have their full team in the ring. Once everyone is in the ring, that is when the match could potentially end and it will only end with someone yelling out the words “I QUIT.” We will lock these men into a two-ring, cage-encircled, death trap with more weapons and carnage than the normal audience has ever seen. No one will leave this match the way they came into it.

And once “Master of Puppets” hits we find out that it will be Chris Cole starting things off for Team Bennett. There is no time to waste here though so Cole ignores the crowd as he makes his way into the cage and walks around both rings before stepping into the one furthest from the door. He awaits his opponent and he starts to shake his head as the blue spotlight focuses on the entrance. “There Can Be Only One” leads right into the full
“Prelude 12/21” and Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” entrance and Alexander steps out from the back…and he is not alone…ALEXIS DARLING IS BACK. And she has that beautiful devious smile plastered on her face as she leans behind her and produces an old friend…it’s a signed sledgehammer wrapped in barbwire. She hands it off to her brother who, even with a heavily taped and injured shoulder that cost him the Intercontinental Title on Wednesday, is starting this match for Team Rick and he is sprinting down to the ring.

He gets in the ring as Cole starts scavenging around the ring for a weapon of his own and he’s able to produce a Singapore cane. He prepares himself to meet Darling as the two are trash-talking from across the two rings and Angelo Barros looks back and forth between Darling and his sledgehammer and Cole and his cane and he realizes this is going to be unadulterated violence so he takes a deep breath and calls for the bell.

And we’re underway here at Hell on Earth: War Games as Darling takes a swing with the sledgehammer at Chris Cole’s head and Cole ducks under and swings the cane at Darling’s knee. AD jumps up and over the cane as both men take a swing and it now looks like we have dueling weapons as they both take a swing. AD’s sledgehammer due to the physics of the weapons knocks CC’s cane flying, but Cole is a wily veteran and he drops low with a dropkick to Darling’s leg. And Chris pounces on the offense as weeks of pent-up aggression against Run DEA; specifically Alexander in recent weeks comes to the forefront. Chris Cole is on fire as he peppers AD with a barrage of rights and lefts. Alexis is on the outside trying to cheer her brother on, but it doesn’t help as CC picks him up and whips him hard into the corner. He attempts to charge in with a roaring elbow, but Darling gets a boot up to knock Cole back and he follows it up with a clothesline that sends Chris spinning to the mat.

Darling stays on the offense for a few moments as he begins to work on Chris Coles lower back with a wide array of slams and judo-style throws that is weakening Cole’s back. After a minute or two of this, CC begins to fire back and he whips AD into the ropes but after a few reversals and other such moves Cole is against the ropes as AD charges him. CC bends his head and hits a back body drop over the ropes separating the rings. Darling lands on his feet but he stumbles as CC jumps up and hits a springboard lariat sending AD crashing. Both men are up and trading blows again as the crowd begins the countdown from 10. We hit 3 and Alexander Darling makes a fatal mistake and turns his back on Cole for the slightest second and CC use this opportunity to grab AD by the tights and sends him face first into the cage. The bell chimes as we’re 5 minutes into the match and here comes the LJ Bennett advantage as Eric O’Mac steps out from the back and makes a step towards the ring, but stops and points to the back as Attitude Adjuster runs out with a golf bag. He makes it down the ring and starts tossing in clubs.

He jumps into the ring and picks up a 4-iron while Chris Cole looks around and picks up the putter. AA and CC share a look and they start taking turns on Darling alternating hits in the ribs. Alexander stumbles away trying to defend himself but there is no letting up on Adjuster or Cole’s part. They finally do drop the clubs and begin to truly work him over. Some nice double-team moves are hit as Attitude and The Main Event are really in the zone. AA Spinebuster is nailed on Darling and its quickly followed up by Cole whipping Darling back with his leather belt. This has been a brutal session for Alexander as Alexis continues to try and get her brother to fight back and about 4 minutes into it, he finally catches a break as there is some miscommunication between Cole and Capps and it almost ends with AA hitting a Thesz press on Cole. Luckily he stops short, but Darling takes advantage and hits a standing dropkick that knocks AA into CC and both go stumbling into the ropes.

Darling picks up Cole and even with a dinged arm, he’s able to hip toss CC into the far ring and he catches AA charging with a back kick and now Darling is on fire. AD starts pounding away on Attitude and he climaxes the blows with a kick to the stomach before attempting to lift him up for a brain buster, but AA is a big, big man so AD can’t complete the move. So he says fuck it as the crowd screams out 10 and Darling figures it’s time to go hardcore as he grabs a light tube and smashes it over AA’s head. He starts digging it into AA’s scalp as the blood starts pouring. The crowd is counting down…3, 2, 1 and Firewoman sprints out from the back. She is yelling and pointing as she hurries to the ring. AD looks up as he sees her get in the ring and he notices all her gesturing. He finally turns around and he sees Chris Cole has him in his targets with a steel chair.

But he doesn’t get the chance to connect with Darling as Firewoman hits a beautiful Van Firenator and smashes the chair back into Cole’s face. AD nods his thanks in Firewoman’s direction as the two original members of DEA begin their attack on Cole and AA respectively. It’s all DEA for a few minutes here as Fire is working over AA in ways he expected she probably worked him over in the hotel room in Mianus. Cole and Darling meanwhile have continued their recent feud as they are just slugging away. Finally Cole gets the advantage and drops Darling with a beautiful Shining Wizard. He looks around the ring for a weapon and he finds a cheese grater and he takes it to Darling’s forehead and the blood starts pouring down. He is really talking the trash as he continues to grate Darling’s head into flakes of skin.

Darling is a puddle of mush as Cole tosses him into the corner and starts to head over towards the other ring, but as he steps into the ring; Firewoman kicks the middle rope right into the twig & berries. Cole may not be having kids anytime soon. Firewoman is now working over AA and CC as she tries to go back and forth between the two, but it’s becoming harder and harder and it’s about to get worse as the countdown starts…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…and the buzzer sounds.

Out from the back, in full camouflage and war paint is the captain for LJ Bennett and this time he is coming down to the ring. It is the man formally known as The E, but now he’s just bringing the violence as Eric O’Mac. He actually slowly makes his way down to the ring and he’s got a vacant look in his bloodshot eyes as he pauses near the steps. He reaches down to his boots and he pulls out a long tent spike. Firewoman notices him entering the ring and starts to charge right at him, but Cole is able to grab a foot and drag her to the mat. Eric starts directing traffic as he instructs AA and CC to drag Fire to her feet. She’s struggling to break herself free, but they have a good grasp as Eric is yelling at FW. Fire doesn’t really seem to like what Eric’s saying and she proves this by spitting right in EOM’s face. And Eric smiles as he wipes his face off. He kinds turns his head and then like a shot from a gun springs forward with the spike and slams it right between her eyes.

She drops like a sack of potatoes as Eric jumps down and gets in her face. He has completely fucking lost it as he continues to just berate the now bloodied FW. Finally Cole drags him away and calms him down a little and they look over and watch as AA picks up Firewoman and hits THE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. Firewoman is out of it as AA stands over her and mocks her with a thrusting motion. He doesn’t see the flying Alexander Darling come spring boarding in with a somersault leg lariat. AA is down as AD stands up and stares down Cole and O’Mac. Chris Cole says he has this as he looks at Darling and points out the blood pouring down his face. Darling tells Cole to bring it as Eric looks up the aisle because the crowd has started counting down again…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…here comes Stank. Eric is waiting him right near the door as Darling picks up Cole and places the hand across the throat…DARLING DRIVER on Cole.

As Stank makes his way down to the ring he starts taking out one of his partner’s logging chains and wrapping it around his arm. Eric notices this and smiles as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles as he waits for Stank. Eric actually lets Stank into the ring and then the two just go after each other and attempting to hit each other with their weapon of choice. Stank takes Eric down to the mat with a tackle and the two start rolling around while Alexander takes Attitude and tosses him between the two rings and starts ricocheting him back and forth with a barrage of punches. Meanwhile Eric has gotten Stank into the corner and is using Stank’s own chain to choke him out. Stank is fading as Eric has it wrapped around his neck and pulling for all he’s worth, but he has to let go when he feels a Singapore cane come shooting up between his legs.

It really seems like Firewoman is trying to ensure that no one on Team Bennett can ever reproduce. She drags Eric down to the mat and starts putting the boots to him as Stank recovers and makes his way over towards Chris Cole. CC tries to beg off but Stank is having none of that and goes to kick Cole. Cole avoids the kick and pokes Stank right in the eye. Stank staggers and CC attempts to get him up for The Headliner, but Stank battles off and he picks CC up into a press slam and drops him across the ropes between the two rings. Darling notices this and motions that he wants to try something as Stank heads over towards AA in the second ring. Alexander walks across the top rope of close ring before jumping off and hitting the top rope of the far ring and launching into a beautiful 450 splash onto the prone Chris Cole. And that gets a HOLY SHIT chant from the crowd.

Meanwhile Stank is working over AA and really working on his open cut as he hits right after left and the blood is really coming down AA’s face now. The history between Stank and AA goes way back, but right now it’s Stank dishing out the abuse as he’s got AA reeling and sends him towards the ropes; AA bounces off and BLACK HOLE SLAM puts Adjuster down. And back to the other ring where Eric and Firewoman are trying to kill each other. Neither one is able to gain the advantage until Fire is able to put O’Mac down with a CODEBREAKER. She quickly hops up to the top rope and taunts Eric as the crowd cheers her on. SHOOTING FIRESTAR PRESS connects. And Fire quickly kips up and stands over Eric pointing down at him and then the crowd starts counting down again…3, 2, 1…and here comes participant #4 for Team Bennett…it’s Ryan Hardcore.

Firewoman doesn’t notice Ryan getting into the ring and she doesn’t notice him setting her up for a Lung Blower because she’s attempting to hit another Code Breaker on Eric. Everyone is in position so what winds up happening is Hardcore hits the Lung Blower on Fire just as she attempts the Code Breaker which causes her to launch Eric flying into the other ring and he uses the momentum to jump off the ropes over Alexander Darling and connect with a AJ Styles-esque Death Drop on Stank. That gets the second HOLY SHIT chant within minutes. It is pure carnage in the ring right now as there are bodies all over the place, but slowly a few people start standing back up and we see that Alexander Darling and Ryan Hardcore are the first two up in the near ring and in the far ring, Attitude Adjuster and Eric O’Mac are getting to their feet.

This is not going to go well for Darling as once again Eric starts directing traffic as he points out some weapons for AA to grab. Just as Eric is about to step through the ropes, he’s dragged back down to the mat by Stank and his head bounces hard off the canvas. AA is about to go back to help Eric, but he realizes that it was a last-ditch effort by Stank and both men are out of it right now. As AA sneaks up behind Darling he slides his special black glove on and Hardcore spins him around right at the perfect moment for THE IRON CLAW. And AA has it locked in and the pressure is making Darling bleed like a faucet. It doesn’t help that Ryan has found a loose piece of barbwire and is using it as a whip across AD’s back.

AA finally lets go of the Claw and he tosses the bloodied carcass of Alexander over to RH who quickly picks him and kills Darling dead with a Fisherman Buster onto a random chair. Hardcore is quickly up to his feet following that move and then he starts thrusting at Alexis Darling on the outside. It doesn’t last long though as Firewoman is finally up to her feet and she plants a dropkick right to Ryan’s back. He staggers towards the cage when AA spins Firewoman around and the two are face to face. We can’t exactly hear what is being said, but its quite obviously got some deep raw emotion and finally too much is said and AA SLAPS Firewoman in the face. Her head snaps, but then she is right back to facing AA and she wipes a little bit of blood off the corner of her lips and she uses that hand to SLAP AA. And now the crowd responds with a very vocal, “YOU GOT BITCHSLAPPED” chant.

Meanwhile in the other ring, Cole and Eric are getting to their feet once again and both grab a chair and look at the barely conscious Stank who is slowly rolling over and getting on his knees. Eric and Chris are setting him up for a Con-Chair-To and if Stank continues to get up he is going to get hit hard. Just as EOM and CC are about to connect, the crowd erupts into their countdown…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…and that delays Eric and Chris enough for Stank to roll away from them and await his partner in Drink & Destroy, Outback Jack. Jack is drinking on his way to the ring and as he gets into the ring he quickly tosses a can to Stank and the two of them chug the beers down. Cole and Mac look at them like they’re nuts and about to charge them when OBJ holds up his hand and he reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out 4 gloves. White taped gloves with shards of glass attached to them. He holds a glove out to Cole and Eric who look at each other and shrug before taking them and sliding them on. Jack hands one glove to Stank before sliding his own glove on and then he **belches.** It probably meant something violent because a millisecond later, Eric and Cole charge with wild haymaker style punches.

Stank and OBJ duck under as Eric bounces off the ropes while Cole is grabbed from behind by Alexander Darling. Eric is a sitting dark for the two members of Drink and Destroy now as they use him like a human piñata with their Taipei Taped Fists of Glass and they cut Eric’s face open bad. He is bleeding from numerous cuts and the blood is really coming down his face quickly. Meanwhile Alexander has hip tossed Chris Cole into the near ring while Firewoman has slingshot AA into the far ring where OBJ takes a liking to him. We’re all paired off now with Eric and Stank brawling and Eric trying to keep the blood out of his eyes. OBJ and AA are having their own fun with golf clubs, baseball bats, and billiard cues. In the near ring Firewoman has taken over the Run DEA role of making Chris Cole a bitch while Alexander Darling is teaching Ryan Hardcore that messing with Alexis Darling is never a good idea.

What’s strange here is we haven’t received word that the match can end, even though all 8 announced members of this match are in the ring. Guess it’s time to wait and see what happens next, but for right now Run DEA is in control as they hit stereo scoop slams on Cole and Hardcore. From the outside Alexis Darling starts sliding many, many light tubes into the cage and Alexander is setting them up while Firewoman is making sure to keep Ryan and Chris down for the time being. Once they get enough into the ring, Light-Tube-To on Chris Cole and that’s gotta sting as the blood is now pouring from another person in this match. And now one for Ryan Hardcore as well, but he’s not bleeding as of yet so Alexander decides to finish that off by picking him, hand across the throat…DARLING DRIVER onto a pile of barb wire and light tubes. At the same time Firewoman picks up Chris Cole, SMALL PACKAGE DRIVER onto a chair.

Run DEA is all smiles but it quickly fades when “Unforgiven” by Metallica kicks in and none other than JOHNNY ADRENALINE himself steps out onto the entrance ramp. Firewoman and Alexander look shocked, but they are readying themselves for his arrival. Too bad for AD he didn’t notice Attitude behind him. Because if he had, maybe the sledgehammer never would have been struck upside his skull and he wouldn’t have dropped to the canvas like a dead man. That leaves FW all alone in the ring as Johnny makes his way down to the wing with two thumb tacked-aided tennis rackets. Eric, Cole, and Ryan, while all bloodied and battered are able to keep Stank and Outback occupied as JA gets in the ring to join his longtime partner AA as they face Firewoman for the first time together.

Things have gone from bad to worse for Team Rick as Chris Cole and Eric O’Mac are finally able to hit a CON-CHAIR-TO on Outback Jack and he is now busted open as well. Things are not looking for Team Rick at the moment. Ryan and Chris grab a hold of Stank’s arms and they hold him and allow Eric to take one of the Taipei gloves and smash Stank across the face. Blood starts pouring down Stank’s face and it doesn’t get any better for him as Eric picks him back up…

SMACKDOWN on Stank…

Team Rick is in serious trouble; Outback Jack is unconscious; Alexander Darling is busted wide open and has lost a lot of blood; Stank is a bloody mess and is being picked apart by Eric O’Mac, Ryan Hardcore, and Chris Cole but he’s trying to get back to his feet and hold them at bay as best he can by swinging a chain around; and Firewoman is in serious trouble as Johnny and Alan are doing their best Cobra Kai impression as they back FW into a corner. And it doesn’t take long for Johnny to take the butt of the tennis racket and jams it into Firewoman’s stomach hard. AA laughs as Johnny backs off and then AA follows up with a full swing down across Fire’s back. Firewoman is in serious trouble and just as Johnny is about to hit her again, he and AA are distracted by something from outside the cage.

ALEXIS DARLING HAS JUST FLASHED THE HEELS…

Johnny and Alan are shell-shocked and staring with their mouths wide open as Alexis covers back up. JA and AA turn to each other and have huge grins plastered across their face, but it doesn’t last long as somehow, someway Alexander Darling has made it back to his feet and he slams The Heels’ heads together. It staggers them just enough for Firewoman to explode from the corner and take them both down with a clothesline. Fire and Alex start working together against the Heels but it keeps them too occupied to help Stank as the numbers have gotten to him and even with Chris Cole working over Outback Jack, Hardcore and Eric are beginning to be too much for Stank.

Eric is setting him up for The SMACKDOWN when all of a sudden

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK…WE SALUTE YOU…

NO…it can’t be…can it…

YES…FF CAPSLOCK IS BACK and he’s bringing the plunder as he pushes a shopping cart full of various street signs, a keyboard, a Nintendo, and he’s even bringing the kitchen sink. This is a big surprise…we saw the blowup of The World’s Greatest Fag Team last week on Mayhem and it looks like Stank got to his former partner to help him out for this one. Capslock gets to the door and starts tossing in the weapons before heading in himself. As he makes his way into the first ring he’s greeted by the image of Firewoman and Alexander Darling giving stereo CURBSTOMPS to The Heels.

FFC goes to walk past as he starts haphazardly tossing weapons into the other ring and one of the keyboards actually conks Chris Cole right on the head which dazes him. CHOMP by Outback Jack and Cole is out. Just as FF is about to step through the ropes, Alexander Darling spins him around. These two have a lot of history going all the way back to Darling’s first Intercontinental Title victory and then the retribution during the Campeonas de Trios tournament where Darling was a recipient of a 5-on-1 beat down orchestrated by FF and Ryan Hardcore. The two stare each other down for a moment before Alexander holds the ropes open for Capslock.

FFC slowly walks through the ropes and then he makes his way into the second ring where Ryan Hardcore is begging off already. Stank and Eric have circled each other so that FF and Stank are standing next to each other and after a quick look and first bump they pounce on Ryan and Eric, respectively. Eric and Ryan are catching a beat down, but more so Ryan Hardcore in this case as Capslock is taking out a lot of frustration right now. Stank has backed Eric towards Outback Jack and OBJ spins him around, kick to the stomach and back to Stank…STANK-U on the chair and Eric is busted open. OBJ rips the Taipei glove off Eric’s hand and heads into the near ring where he starts helping the members of Run DEA keep Johnny and Alan occupied.

Because in the other ring, Capslock and Stank are showing Ryan Hardcore that Drink & Destroy runs deeper than money. They are passing RH back and forth like Lauren’s been passed around the locker room. Ryan is in serious trouble right now and it doesn’t look like anyone can help him. Eric is still out from the Stank-U. Firewoman and Outback Jack have AA and JA blocked off from the second ring. AA is about to get Firewoman with the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT but he’s stopped just in the nick of time by Jack who whips him across the back with a chain. OBJ turns around…ADRENALINE RUSH by Johnny who gets up and gloats. He turns right around…FIREDRIVER…and all 4 are down and out.

In the other ring Chris Cole has finally gotten to his feet and he is about to smash a beer bottle over Capslock’s head but before he connects he is speared through the middle rope by Darling and his back crashes into the cage. AD drags Cole to the center of the ring and he places his hands between his legs and flips him over…DARLING MONEY CLIP. He has it locked in and we can’t see anyone around to save him right now. This could be it…Will Cole tap out? Will he say I quit? Darling is a bloody mess as he has the cloverleaf locked in and he is really arching back with it. Cole looks like he’s about to tap but Eric crawls over and stops his hand from hitting the mat. Darling looks over his shoulder and sees this so he cinches back even more but Eric refuses to let Cole tap or say “I quit.”

But it doesn’t look like it’s going to matter because in between the rings FF Capslock has got Ryan into position and he’s locked in the FIGURE FORESKIN and he’s using the ropes for leverage. But that’s not all as Stank has found some broken pieces of glass and some random thumbtacks around the ring and he just starts digging into Ryan’s scalp. It doesn’t take long…

Ryan has no choice but to scream…”I QUIT!!!”

That’s it. Team Rick has done it. They have won War Games and everyone just collapses because they are all spent. This has taken years off the participants’ careers. Slowly but surely the rest of Team Rick begins to make their way out from the back as Eric, Cole, Adrenaline, and Adjuster slowly stumble their way up to their feet and begin to back away from the ring and watching the cage raise. And by the look in some of their eyes you can tell that even if this war is over, not all will be forgotten.

But that’s the future…the present is all about a huge celebration as everyone from Team Rick who can make it to the ring are helping the War Games combatants to their feet. Handshakes and hugs all around as everyone is thrilled with the outcome here at Hell on Earth…
WINNERS in 53:19 is TEAM RICK…Stank, Outback Jack, FF Capslock, Alexander Darling, and Firewoman!!!

<After the match, Stank struggles to his feet and walks over to the ropes by the timekeeper and is handed a mic.>

______________________________________

Stank: “nine months... nine months...”

<Stank starts pacing the ring not knowing where exactly to begin. The crowd, not knowing exactly how to react begin to chant his name. Stank looks up and out at everyone in the arena. He looks up at the top of the ramp and spies GM the Rick standing there. Stank continues to stare at Rick as the crowd chants Stank's name. After a few moments, Stank walks toward the side of the ring facing the ramp, and Rick. Stank screams in his GM's direction.>

Stank: “NINE MONTHS! We have FOUGHT and BLED in a WAR for OOWF supremacy! NINE MONTHS we have FOUGHT and BLED in a company DIVIDED! NINE MONTHS! We have damn near KILLED each other in a WAR... ... That as it turns out... didn't need to HAPPEN!”

<Rick continues to stand at the top of the ramp with his arms folded and no expression on his face.>

Stank: “At this time, I would like for Alexis Darling to come down and join me in this ring.”

<Bennett's music fires up! He's greeted by MASSIVE boos as he walks out, glaring at Rick as he walks past. He continues out toward the ring with mic in hand.>

LJB: “Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on now Stank! Hell on Earth IV is OVER! You need to get the h-”

Stank: “BENNETT! You step ONE FOOT in this ring before I tell you to, and so help me I will BEAT the shit out of your SORRY ASS!”

<The crowd ERUPTS in cheers at the prospect. Bennett is nonplussed.>

LJB: “Now you wait just a damn minute. I am STILL your BOSS!”

Stank: “You... are a FRAUD! No... WORSE!”

LJB: “You SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”

Stank: “LEXIE! Come on out here!”

LJB: “YOU and I BOTH know... she is NOT HERE!”

<Alexander Darling's music fires up to the cheers of the crowd and ALEXIS DARLING make her way down the ramp to the absolute HORROR of LJ Bennett! Rick applauds his approval as she walks past. Out behind Darling comes Samantha Darling, a clearly beat up Phantos and Lucios, who are discreetly holding up a MASSIVELY taped-up New World Champion Davin Moreland. I’m not a doctor, but I’m guessing his ribs are sore and he’s probably got a cut or two on his head. Alex holds the ropes them as Alexis joins Stank in the ring. The crowd is going absolutely BATSHIT with a huge “A-LEX-IS” chant. Tears, much to her displeasure, begin to well up in her eyes, as she is overcome with emotion and overwhelmed by the response of the crowd. Cheers rain down on Alexis and Stank as they stand in the ring. The crowd chant changes to “Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!”

Alexis doesn't quite know what to. She has never received such a warm welcome before. She's starting to understand a little what her brother has been experiencing and doesn't hate it as much as she thought she would. She looks over at Stank, walks over and the two embrace to the delight of the crowd! Alexis whispers something in Stank's ear which no one can hear over the crowd noise. The hug lasts a few moments longer before Alexis disengages and collects herself. She immediately goes over to her brother and sister as the three of them share a family hug. After that, she family hugs Firewoman, who has rolled back into the ring and Phantos and Lucios in another family hug. Davin and Alexis stare each other down for a minute. Davin points to his ribs; which elicits a grin from Alexis; so they do the DEA Fistbump to a huge roar. Satisfied, Alexis makes her was back over to Stank who hands her his mic:>

AD: “Thank you.”

<Alexis chuckles a little, as the crowd FIRES up again with CHEERS! Stank motions for them to settle down and they comply. Alexis raises the mic to her lips.>

AD: “It's been a long strange journey, but one that was ultimately successful thanks to the efforts of Ax-Man who could not be here tonight and-”

<LJ Bennett jumps up onto the ring apron and SCREAMS...>

LJB: “YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! I don't know WHAT it is YOU THINK YOU HA-”

<Bennett is SHOVED down from the apron by Davin Moreland and falls to the floor. Old School DLP stares Bennett down from inside the ring, and it’s apparent that Davin is BEGGING Bennett to get in the ring again. Bennett slowly looks up at the big men and stands pointing in their faces with some sort of unheard threat! That commotion brings out the rest of Team Bennett as they shove Rick to the side and make their way down the ramp. Eric, Cole, a beat-up (but in better shape than Davin) LD Williams and Tyson Kincaid stroll purposefully toward Stank and Run DEA. Stank grabs the mic.>

Stank: “Good! I'm glad you all could join us! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! There Eric! Before you get down here and we whoop your collective backsides, I think you all are going to want to hear what we've got to say, as this concerns ALL of US! If afterwards you want to fight, I'm sure we can oblige you!”

<A buzz from the crowd accompanies the other members of Drink and Destroy. They make their way through the crowd and out to the ring area. Outback Jack followed by the Midnight Sons flank the outside of the ring. This brings out the rest of Team Bennett and Team Rick. Soon the ENTIRE OOWF Roster is out in the arena from various positions. Stank hands the mic back to Alexis.>

AD: “Well let's get this party started shall we?”

LJB: “NO! WAIT! I DEMAN-”

<Alexander quickly jumps out of the ring and GRABS the mic from LJ Bennett. He angrily SHOVES him into the waiting arms of Eric O'Mac! Eric glares at Alexander, who rolls back into the ring. Alexis continues.>

AD: “It turns out LJ Bennett over there, got part of his startup money for the PHWF from an investment firm sometime after he left the OOWF years ago. What he did NOT know was that Daddy sat on the board of said investment firm.”

<Bennett's raises his eyebrows at that revelation.>

AD: “Daddy's help proved invaluable in my investigation. After a few pitfalls Bennett successfully got the PHWF up and running and was looking for superstars to wrestle in his organization. I understand he recruited a number of individuals from here which has been the perceived lynchpin in this war.

<Eric, having found a mic speaks.>

EOM: “WE ALREADY KNOW all of THIS!”

Stank: “Let her finish, Eric!”

EOM: “Ask me if I give a fuck!”

<LD Williams walks up from behind Eric and pulls his mic down, telling Eric to let Alexis speak. Eric is FURIOUS but does nothing about it for the moment.>

AD: “If there are no more interruptions.... about midway through the PHWF’s tenure, Bennett wanted to recruit Stank. Let's just say that interview didn't go very well.”

<Alexis turns toward Stank.>

AD: “And Stank I'm sorry... I didn't know... none of us knew Bennett would say-”

Stank: “It's alright Alexis.”

AD: “No! No one should be subjected to that type of verbal abuse. Now I understand why you hate him so much.”

Alexander yells: “What did Bennett say?”

<Stank grabs the mic.>

Stank: “Bennett wanted me... he called me... a... he called me the n... the next... ... Ahmed Johnson!”

<The vacuum from collective GASP! from the crowd nearly rivals an inhale from SYB's massive schnozz! Team Rick is stunned. Team Bennett is stunned.>

Eric: “Damn.”

Cole: “Wow.”

LDW: “Holy shit.”

<All of Team Bennett is stunned... including LJ himself. Everyone looks at Bennett.>

LJB: “I... I...”

Alexis: “Save It Bennett. There is NO excuse! After that interview failed he still wanted another big man type in his fed, so he thought of recruiting an old friend… Grunt. Now between the time Bennett left the OOWF and started the PHWF, Bennett and Grunt had had a falling out. Grunt found out Bennett was buddying up to his old nemesis, Blade. Long time OOWF fans remember that Blade is the one responsible for Grunt ultimately leaving the OOWF.

Bennett wanted to manage Blade, so being aware that there might still be some hard feelings; Bennett asked his college roommate from Harvard, his very good and only true friend, Sydney Shale, to help facilitate Grunt’s recruitment. Naturally, Shale who was Grunt’s handler, was able to arrange the meeting with four participants…Bennett, Shale, Grunt, and Nate Corbitt; who was Bennett’s business partner, and General Manger of the PHWF.

Well, the meeting went terribly wrong. Grunt being the dimwitted giant of a man he was, well, still is, got pretty violent. So much so, that he ended up putting Bennett in the hospital, where Shale and Corbitt were told… Bennett DIED of his injuries.”

<The crowd gasps again! Many on Bennett's team start looking at Bennett strangely. Eric snatches the mic from LD.>

EOM: “How STUPID do you THINK we are Alexis? Bennett is OBVIOUSLY NOT DEAD!”

AD: “Nate Corbitt was surprised as well when Bennett shows up at the PHWF a week or so later, showing little or no sign of having been through any trauma, or ANYTHING related with being deceased.

Meanwhile, poor Sydney Shale was upset about what happened to Bennett, and doesn’t want Grunt to go to jail because he felt Grunt wasn’t responsible for his actions, due to him being slow in the head. He loves Grunt like a son. Everything that has happened was very worrisome, until he received a call from Corbitt that Bennett is STILL ALIVE! He received this call at about the same time that he received notice that Bennett named Shale in his will, and has left Sydney ALL of his assets including...the full ownership of the PHWF!

So what the fuck, right?

Sydney flies out to ask Bennett about the will. When he SEES Bennett he recognizes him for who... HE REALLY IS. Bennett also realizes Shale knows who he is, and warns Sydney if he reveals anything, he will turn Grunt in for killing Bennett. As an added incentive, LJ Bennett gives Sydney Shale enough money for him and Grunt to keep quiet and go start a life somewhere else, so long as they never returned to professional wrestling.

Afterwards Nate Corbitt, who was aware of Shale and Bennett’s meeting, caught up to Sydney Shale to find out how the meeting went. Nate noticed that Shale was acting weird about it, but thought nothing of it after Shale has left. Nate also noticed in the following weeks that Bennett was acting a little weird hims-”

EOM: “Wha- WAIT wait wait! Who he REALLY is...? What the fuck are you TALKING about?”

AD: “Do you want to tell him Bennett or should I?”

<Bennett just stands there stoically. Eric turns toward Bennett.>

EOM: “Tell me what, Larry?”

AD: “Bennett’s doctor tracked down Shale, who was with Bennett when he DIED. The doctor is wracked with guilt over what happened and gave Shale the details. He said that the man IMPERSONATING Bennett was there when Bennett died. Shale told the doctor that he already knew this… but what Shale didn’t know was that Bennett didn’t die of his injuries, suffered at the hands of GRUNT… Bennett died because the man who is NOW impersonating him … the man standing down there before you...MURDERED him!”

<Once again there is an audible gasp from the crowd and from the OOWF roster as well.>

AD: “THAT MAN then paid the doctor a fortune to keep this a secret, assumed Bennett’s identity, dyed his hair, and had minor cosmetic surgery to look more like Bennett.”

EOM: “WHAT the... is THIS SHIT true?”

<LJ Bennett just stands there not saying anything.>

AD: “This means since THAT man ISN'T who he claims to be... Sydney Shale is the rightful owner of Bennett’s estate because of Bennett’s will.”

<Bennett grabs the mic.>

LJB: “This is a nice story and all Ms. Darling,, but you can't prove ANY of it.”

AD: “Well you certainly did your damnedest to make sure of THAT, didn't you? Dr. Crowder had a terminal illness and only came forward because he didn’t want to die with what he helped YOU to do on his conscience.”

LJB: “Well he's dead. So where does that leave you?”

AD: “You had a grudge against Rick and the OOWF. You never really cared that much about the PHWF, but only for it to be a MEANS to an END…YOU taking over the OOWF! You found allies in Eric and Cole, which only strengthened your resolve to get revenge on Rick.”

AD: “You see people, Bennett here used to be in the OOWF! It was obviously an assumed name, and he had a very unceremonious exit, if I recall correctly. Not only did he feel slighted by Rick back then, but by you, the fans of the OOWF as well. He felt you all didn’t recognize his genius for the industry or his *snicker* ring psychology.”

<Alexis turns to address Bennett.>

AD: “You felt like you were a ring general who had a love for this business with no equal. The fans didn’t appreciate your intellect, your workrate, or your experience in age. And when you were finally thrown out of the OOWF, in a plan that backfired where your opponent that night was supposed to be banned, you waited a long time for the opportunity to exact your revenge.”

“So when you got word that your estranged FRATERNAL TWIN, was DYING in the hospital...you knew your opportunity had come. You had to act quickly because your opportunity was almost squandered with your BROTHER'S IMPENDING RECOVERY.”

“So you did what you had to. You STOLE your brother's identity!”

<Stank, having been handed another mic, finally speaks.>

Stank: “That's Right! LAWRENCE JAMES BENNETT'S role is now being played by LEONARD JOSEPH BENNETT, his brother...but some of you might remember LEONARD under his OLD ring name...


...SMARK!”

<The crowd goes absolutely batshit with surprise! Bennett jumps up onto the ring apron and climbs through the ropes. Rick's men are in too much shock to stop him. Stank walks over and meets Bennett in the center of the ring. The crowd chants “Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Kick his ass!” Stank just stares down at Bennett. Bennett raises the mic slowly to his lips, and the crowd settles down to listen, savoring every word.>

LJB: “You. Have. No. Proof.”

AD: “True. Your men managed to take most of it away from us.”

LJB: “Then I fail to see what you hoped to accomplish here- wait... what do you mean... most?”

AD: “Oh that. Yeah. Well, there's a certain taped confession from your brother's doctor that I'm sure the OOWF Board would be interested in reviewing...to say the least for the police.”

LJB: “YOU LI-“

<Stank GRABS Bennett, places him on his shoulders, and delivers the BIGGEST STANK-U the OOWF has seen to date! Bennett is DEAD and that move nearly sets off Bennett's men! Stank quickly grabs a mic.>

Stank: “WAIT! There's more! Rick! Why don't you join us in the ring?”

<Rick at first is a little hesitant, but is encouraged by a heavily bandaged, bloody and beaten Davin Moreland, who holds the ropes open for Rick, and the Assistant GM helps him into the ring. GM The Rick enters the ring to cheers from the crowd. Rick stares down at a writhing LJ Bennett and applauds Stank and Alexis Darling. Rick is handed a mic.>

GMtR: “I would just like to thank you two for all the-

Stank: “SAVE it, RICK! Instead why don't you tell the folks out here WHY YOU PUT the BOUNTY on MY HEAD!!”

<The air in the arena is once again sucked in by the collective GASP from the crowd.>

GMtR: “I did what?”

Stank: “DON'T BOTHER to DENY it! Blackdragon found out you had been talking to my brother! Crete confronted you about it, but he wanted to believe in you and bought the story you told him and Blackdragon. But I was suspicious. Even more so after you showed me-

GMtR: “Lucas! Don't you think you've SAID enough? Bennett is FINISHED! The board would never ALLOW him to run this federation after what Alexis has dug up on-

Stank: “SHUT UP! YOU were COMPLICIT in this WAR from DAMN NEAR THE BEGINNING! DON'T YOU DARE stand there and DENY IT!”

<GM The Rick looks up at the big man. Everyone is silent waiting to hear Rick's explanation. Rick gets this weird look over his face, as he raises the mic to his lips, and speaks.>

GMtR: “Lucas. Dear Lucas. Of course it's you, who else could it be, who else could be trusted? I... I know it's a long way and you're ready to fight...all I'm saying is wait, just wait, just-just-just... please hear me out because this is not an episode, relapse, fuck up, it's... I'm begging you Lucas. I'm begging you. Try and make believe this is not just madness because this is not just madness. A little over six months ago, sometime after my beating at the hands of Moosehead Jack, the others, and Cole's betrayal, I came out of the arena, okay? I'm running across the street, there's a car waiting, I’ve got exactly 38 minutes to get to the airport and I'm dictating. Erlana is sprinting along beside me, scribbling in a notepad, and suddenly she starts SCREAMING, and I realize we're standing in the middle of the street, the light has changed, there's this WALL of traffic, serious traffic speeding towards us, and I... I..I FREEZE! I can't move, and I'm suddenly CONSUMED with the overwhelming sensation that I'm covered with some sort of film. It's running down my bald head, my face... it's like a glaze... like a... a coating, and...at first I thought, oh my God, I know what this is, this is some sort of amniotic...embryonic fluid. I'm drenched in afterbirth, I've…I've breached the chrysalis, I've been reborn. But then the traffic, the stampede, the cars, the trucks, the horns, the screaming and I'm thinking no-no-no-no, reset, this is not rebirth, this is some kind of giddy illusion of renewal that happens in the final moment before death. And then I realize no-no-no, this is completely wrong because I look back at the arena and I had the most stunning moment of clarity. I... I... I... I realized Lucas, that I had emerged not from the doors of the Kashkinen, Finland OOWF arena, not through the portals of our vast and powerful wrestling federation, but from the ASSHOLE of an organism whose sole function is to EXCRETE the.. the.. the.. the POISON, the AMMO, the DEFOILANT necessary for the FANS the.. the.. the.. SMARKS, YES the SMARKS to destroy the miracle of humanity. And that I had been coated in this patina of SHIT for the best part of my life. The stench of it and the stain of it would in all likelihood take the rest of my life to undo. And you know what I did? I took a deep cleansing breath and I set that notion aside. I tabled it. I said to myself as clear as this may be, as potent a feeling as this is, as true a thing as I believe that you have uncovered today, it must wait. It must stand the test of time. And Stank, the time is now.”

Stank: “Why did you put the bounty on my head, Rick?”

GMtR: “I swear to Christ, I didn’t Lucas. I’ve done some pretty fucked up things over this whole thing; left Davin hanging out to dry; tried to leave you out to dry…let shit go I shouldn’t have…but what could I do, Lucas? My hands were tied! Bennett had all this on lockdown! I just…I can’t express to you guys how much this all means to me…all your sacrifices…especially you Lucas.”

Stank: “Fucking save it Rick. I’m going to ask you one more time and if you don’t answer, you can join your boy Smark over here.”

<Rick looks very nervous as if he doesn’t think there’s a right answer, and he’s going to get hurt. Davin asks for Alexis’ mic, and slowly makes his way over to the two, laboring with every step; belt slung over his shoulder.>

DM: <quietly> “Rick didn’t put the bounty out on you, Lucas.”

GMtR: “Thank you, Dav-“

DM: “YOU can kindly shut the fuck up if you don’t mind, asshat. You made my life a hell for MONTHS while you were gone. Thank Christ for Erlana who helped me out; but while YOU were on your ‘spiritual fucking journey’ it was ME here day after day making sure this place was afloat, and night after night putting on the best fucking show possible for THESE FANS!” *cheap pop*

DM: “When no one else was by your side Rick, I was. When you were gone; I held this place together. When you came back, I bailed you out. When it looked like we were going to be short numbers Rick, it was me, ME who got DEA onto our side. Well, and Alexis. Uh…sorry about that.”

<Alexis simply shrugs.>

DM: “And when things were out of control, it wasn’t YOU who represented “Team Rick” with the board…it was ME! *I* negotiated the cease-fire for our side. *I* had to sit there with that freak Eric and that fuckshow Ben…SMARK. *I* got that done. *I* kept our side safe, while you sat in your office with your thumb up your ass. When we were hurting for cash, who got the endorsements to keep us solvent for the next decade? What was that, Rick? Was that you? Oh wait…THAT WAS ME TOO!”

DM: “Did I get any recognition? No. Any praise? Any acknowledgement whatsoever? NO Rick. No, you didn’t do any of that. Instead, you decided to go to your default position or brownnosing everyone’s favorite Superhero, Concrete Takaken Gryfon” *crowd pops* “WHY DO YOU CHEER THAT TRAITOR?!?!? He LEFT US! He went to CONNECTICUT and left us hanging when WE NEEDED HIM THE MOST! And YOU Rick, you let it go as if nothing happened. And then, if that wasn’t bad enough, you had the BALLS to make Stank the freakin’ captain! STANK! He was going to TURN on you at first Rick, it was, you guessed it…ME who got him to join us. I’ve gotten no appreciation. I’ve had to swim upstream during this war every step of the way and I STAND BEFORE YOU OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!” *crowd pop*

DM: “And it was no thanks to you, Rick. We’ll talk later. But for now, you can go; because despite all that, you didn’t put the bounty out on Stank. Not even close. If I didn’t know for sure it wasn’t you, I’d have let Stank kill you right here. So Rick, you can leave my ring.”

GMtR: “Wait…YOUR Ri…”

DM: “*I* am the World Champion. This is my ring. You may leave. I will not ask you again.”

<Rick looks around in the ring, but is finding no support at all, so he sheepishly makes his way out, and back up the ramp to a quiet chorus of boos.>

Stank: “Well, Davin? I’ll ask you since you seem to know everything. If it wasn’t Rick, and it clearly wasn’t Crete, and it clearly wasn’t Moose; who the hell put the bounty out on me?”

<Davin takes the belt off of his shoulder and holds it with his right hand.>

DM: “Funny thing about that Lucas. Once the whole bounty thing started, I made it a point to get to the bottom of who was to blame. In fact, I have the evidence right here. P-Dawg, you wanna get that box?”

<Phantos hops out of the ring and pulls out a small chest, and unsnaps the latches, but doesn’t open it.>

DM: “The answer lies in there, Lucas.”

Stank: “What is it?”

DM: “The ANSWER Lucas…the answer is a very old adage”

Stank: “Will you get to it?”

<Davin looks at everyone in the ring>.

DM: “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it YOURSELF!”

<With that, Davin BLASTS Stank over the head with the Championship Belt. Simultaneously, Phantos throws the lid to the chest open, and Alexander and Firewoman reach inside, and hit PLANCHAS on FF Capslock and DH Magnusson respectively. Phantos, Lucios, Alexis and Samantha all grab bats out of the chest and start to BEAT on the REST OF TEAM RICK! Bunny is down! Carl From Fresno is down! Spin ‘Freakin’ Hansen is down! Outback Jack is down! Seamus McNasty is Down! All of Team Rick is down on the floor, and Team Bennett is too stunned to do much of anything, so they kind of back up to the ramp. Meanwhile, Davin is continuing whip the living daylights out of Stank, who is pretty much unconscious in the ring. The crowd is just stunned to silence. Davin straps the belt around himself and goes to the chest and takes out a bat, and a Heroes Guild Cape, and he puts it on while walking back over to a profusely bleeding Stank.>

DM: “Hi Lucas! Does this look familiar?”

<The crowd finally senses what is going on and is booing this turn of events to holy hell. The rest of Run DEA makes their way into the ring, and stand in a guarding position, bats at the ready, lined around Davin and Stank.>

DM: “You see Lucas, you decided that you would big-time me and strong-arm your way into the spot of Captain on Team Rick. Rick trusted YOU with all the inside information, while I was stuck doing all the grunt work when it was ME who recruited YOU! This is what happens Lucas. This is what happens when you step on those people on the way up. This is what happens when you DON’T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE! This is what happens…when you fuck…with Davin. Moreland. Your OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. And if you want to know who put the bounty out on you?”

<Davin gets on his knees and essentially whispers into Stank’s ear and the mic.>

DM: “It was me, Lucas. It was me who put the bounty on you, you stupid son of a bitch.”

<Davin proceeds to beat the bejeezus out of Stank with the bat. He drills him a couple of times in the head, and then mercilessly starts drilling Stank in the knee that he injured a few weeks ago. Satisfied, he locks Stank in a SHARPSHOOTER, as trash rains into the ring. The most resounding boos ever recorded in Dayton, Ohio reverberate in the arena. After a full 2 minutes of this, Davin lets go, and yells “GET HIM UP”! Run DEA helps pull up Stank to his feet, although he’s unconscious. Davin hits the ropes and DESTROYS Stank with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER and the boos continue. Davin grabs the mic one more time.>

DM: *in a very controlled tone of voice* “I am Davin Moreland. We are Run DEA. And you, and *points to the crowd* EVERYONE ELSE had better fucking get used to it.”

<Davin takes off his belt and stands directly over Stank. Alexander, Firewoman, Phantos, Lucios, Alexis and Samantha all form a tight semi-circle around Davin and Stank. Davin holds the belt high in the air and the camera follows it up, and slowly pans down to the Run DEA team picture, all standing over Stank. The boos continue.>

Russ: <in his serious voice> Bah gawd. What could possibly happen next?

The camera fades to the OOWF logo.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWFDoomy Doom Doom Doom V, Live October 26th from Springfield, Florida! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Imperial Onslaught Live! October 1st from Springfield, Indiana!

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Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

[Mikey]

Awesome. That is all. A million exalts to you, sir.

[Jack Quinn]

Thanks go to Eric (for the promo to start) Tommy (world title match) Sop (war games) and Stank (the Bennett swerve at the end)

Thanks a ton guys

[Mikey]

You still get the exalts, Moose. The rest of you get jack shit.

[fasteddie]

Nice job. Very impressive work.

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

Awesome payoff!

[blownspot]

Yeah... awesome... right.

Whose daughter do I have to sleep with to get on the booking committee?

[Eric O'Mac]

DevSop has been asking that question for years.

[DevSop]

Then I realized it was my own sister.

[Spinch]

THAT WAS AWESOME! *Clap clap clapclapclap*