[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield Alabama

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Davin Moreland vs. The Amnesiac

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Spin Hansen vs. Damon Wrath

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Phantos & Lucios vs. Eric O'Mac & Chris Cole

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Seamus McNasty vs. Alexander Darling

OOWF Tag Team Invitational 2008 Semi-Finals[/u]
Gods & Monsters vs. IHOP
The Chickenshit Heels vs. Drink & Destroy

Firewoman vs. Concrete TG
Moosehead Jack vs. Tyson Kincaid
Fear Us vs. Some Poor Unfortunate Local Workers

card subject to the ghost of Bear Bryant

[wld]

**Phantos and Lucios are approached by L.D. Williams in a hallway.**

P: “Hey champ – oops, my bad.”

LD: “You know, as talented as you guys are, your egos are really getting out of control.”

L: “Hey, you said it yourself. We are the greatest tag team in the world.”

LD: “For now.”

P: “For ever. It’s like you said, beating us was the greatest accomplishment kz ever made.”

L : “And the last. Seems you’re out of the tournament – and apparently out of a partner. Moose has already moved on.”

LD: “Boys, you need to realize something. You don’t get to where I am by reacting. You get there by always being a step ahead.”

**Lucios is leveled from behind by a chair shot from an unseen assailant, and Williams grabs Phantos and plants him with a DDT.**

LD: “Gentlemen, meet my new partner.”

**The camera pans to show the assailant – Outback Jack.**

OBJ: “Boys, when you wake up you’ll be able to say you were the first victims of Fear Us.”

LD: “It’s what we say, it’s what you do, and most of all-”

OBJ: <Belches> “That’s Australian for ‘F-U is gonna sell us a lot of merchandise.’”

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the palatial IHOP locker room. Skurge and SYB are celebrating yet another win in the OOWF Tag Team Invitational tournament. Many beers are being had. Meanwhile, The Amnesiac, Fezzik, and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are playing Yahtzee in the corner. Many beers are being had there, too. Things seem to be going swimmingly for all members of IHO–CRASH~! What the fuc–uh...I mean...Skurge gets up to investigate the commotion, which appears to have taken place just outside the palatial IHOP locker room door...

…Fuck! That nearly gave me a goddamn heart attack! I don’t know what the fuck’s going on around here, but this type of shit isn’t in my contract. What? I’m on right now? I don’t believe you...Let's see...The Human Torch was denied a bank loan. The arsonist has oddly shaped feet. Unique New York. Unique New York. What? I killed my mic. I’m done. We’re watching...wait, why isn’t Skurge checking on the disturbance? Why is he looking at me? There’s no way I could have…ah, shit. Well, fuck it. What’s done is done. Why are you still looking at me? Check the fucking disturbance, shit for brains…

Skurge: …Uh…Whatever could that noise have been? I shall check.

*Skurge gets back into character as he opens the door. It’s as if nothing at all happened between the time the loud crash occurred and now…

Skurge: Are you fucking kidding me? You have got to be fucking kidding me.
SYB: What is it, my northern compatriot?
Skurge: Kill the cute talk and get over here, jackass. This ain’t funny.
SYB: Jesus. It was a joke, man. What’s–oh. I see. You’re right. This most certainly ain’t funny. What do you want to do?
Skurge: Kill him. I want to find him, and then I want to kill him.
Fezzik: What’s going on guys? Why so–OW! Fuck!
Skurge: This is exactly what I was worried aboot. How could someone be so fucking stupid as to throw a jar of pasta sauce at our door? What the fuck does it accomplish? You get the initial rush of vandalizing something, but then it’s all just broken glass and consequences. I was pissed before, but now that Fezzik’s hurt because of this shit…man, someone’s going doon hard.
SYB: You know who did this, right?
Skurge: I have some idea. I mean, we did catch him on video.
SYB: Yeah, I still watch that thing like once a wee–uh, for scouting purposes. Scouting purposes.
Skurge: Because we’ve fought this freak so many times since the tape was made?
SYB: Look! A dragon!

*SYB runs back into the palatial IHOP locker room while Skurge is distracted looking for Ricky Steamboat. He doesn’t see Steamboat, however, as an actual dragon is blocking him from view. Skurge disappointedly turns to Fezzik…

Skurge: Well, let’s get you cleaned up, big man. Hopefully, this is the worst of it.
Fezzik: What else could happen?
Skurge: Ants, my friend. Ants. Those fuckers love pasta sauce.

*FADE*

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Thunderstruck plays, crowd pops, and OBJ comes out, drinking beer*

OBJ: Right, I know you want to know why LD Williams and I are working together. In due time, we will explain. But first, let me introduce Phantos and Lucios!

*God Bless Texas plays, and midget versions of Phantos and Lucios come out to the ring. Mini Phantos tries to climb up the turnbuckles, but fails, so Mini Lucios tries to boost him up. Meanwhile, the real P&L come out and storm into the ring*

OBJ: Well. I hope you enjoyed a view of yourselves in the future, because that's about how small I think you guys will be when we're done beating the crap out of you.

Phantos and Lucios exchange punches with Outback Jack, and seem to be winning easily, until L. D. Williams rolls up from under the ring, and chop blocks Lucios. Phantos turns, and LDW and OBJ hit The Call of The Wild on him. Lucios struggles to his feet, and LD and OBJ hit The Call of the Wild Again. Phantos gets up and OBJ nails him with a Boomerang. LD gestures for a microphone, which is tossed to him*

LD: Fear Us! *hands the microphone to OBJ*

OBJ: Or if you prefer, *drinks beer, belches* FU! Stands for fear us, ya bastards!

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Scheme Gene catches up with LDW and OBJ backstage*

SG: Gentlemen, what is the meaning of this?

OBJ: FU, Gene.

SG: Hey, I'm just doing my job!

LD: FU is short for Fear Us.

SG: OK, but why did you attack the tag team champions?

OBJ: We wanted to put certain people on notice that we are on the attack.

LDW: We both had to put up with a lot of crap during this "war", and we realized we were both fed up with punks who came into this company with the wrong attitude.

OBJ: We paid our dues and earned our spots as we BUILT this company!

LDW: Lately there have been too many people taking shortcuts, using connections to get ahead, without having proper respect.

OBJ: And don't get me started on the punks who have been given opportunity after opportunity handed to them on a silver platter!

SG: Alright, but why "Fear Us"?

OBJ: Well, we know the people we're coming after are going to line up and say they don't fear us. That's going to be the fun part.

SG: Fun?

LD: Making them fear us. That's the fun part. Something I learned a long time ago.

[Concrete TG]

(CTG is STANDING~! in front of GM The Rick's desk)

GMtR: I'm not angry with you, if that's what you're here for.

CTG: I'm aware, Commissioner. I still wish to extend apologies for my tardiness to the production meeting. The circumstances were out of my control.

GMtR: .... so how DID you get out of the locker room?

CTG: It was a daring escape, Commissioner. I had to slip carefully through the ventilation shafts leading out of that room and through the maze of the arena. Through my explorations I emerged above the OOWF-tron and had considered remaining there for a spectacular entrance for my match against Fire.

GMtR: But you didn't....

CTG: Primarily because of the Owen Hart rule, one that I will respect. I am also required to report in or I will not be permitted to perform.

GMtR: Since we're pretty sure who locked you in, I'm willing to transfer that fine to them.

CTG: If you feel that is more appropriate.

GMtR: I'm just surprised at how ..... "tame" they're being to you

CTG: we're merely in the beginning of this story ---

(Kayfabe glares at CTG from the hallway)

CTG: *Ahem* Our rematch might be considerably less so.

GMtR: Are you making an educated guess, or...

CTG: Let's just say that her allies might also want to watch their step.....

(The Ninja cameraman relays to one of his associates, who is focused on a nice Adobe Photoshop poster of Phantos and Lucios, toasting a victory with bottles of Dasanni water, and next to it a poster of Firewoman riding a Vespa moped)

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*FADE BACK IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*

<The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is bandaging Fezzik's injury while SYB, Skurge, and The Amnesiac assemble in front of the IHOP-licensed 70" plasma tv.>

The Amn: What video are you talking about?

SYB: <puts in a DVD and clicks play> This one.

Jun 2, 2008 14:18:43 GMT -5 The Jewish Cunthead said:

He zooms in to what looks like the hulking Poe dressed up in a diaper and a bonnet. Selena has a belt in her hand.

Selena: GET OVER HERE!
Poe: Sorry mommy!
Selena: Sorry for what?
Poe: Sorry for making boom boom in my diaper.
Selena: You've been a bad boy and you know what Mommy does to bad boys.

The Amn: Hey I just saw that!

Skurge: What are you talking aboot? That happened in June.

The Amn: No I mean I saw that on The Best of Baby Batter, Vol. I...

Skurge: ...

SYB: ...

The Amn: There's a lot about me you don't know.

Skurge: Clearly.

The Amn: Why the fuck would Poe throw a jar of pasta sauce at our door?

Skurge: I don't know and I don't care. I might be Canadian but even *I* have a breaking point. He and Tyson have an ass kicking coming. Gods & Monsters? Holy fuck, a team named after a movie aboot a gay director? Yeah, I'm really scared.

The Amn: Tytan.

Skurge: Eh?

The Amn: His name is Tytan.

Skurge: Fuck it, I don't care. He's not worthy of me getting his name right anyway.

SYB: Guys I think we're forgetting the big picture here.

Skurge: And that is?

SYB: Did you see Dorothy in that outfit? Holy shit, you should have seen the Hebrew Hammer I was sporting.

Skurge: Easy there, Jooba The Hutt.

The Amn: Yeah Solly. Is she supposed to choke you while your nose flaps around too?

SYB: YOU WEAK-MINDED FOOLS! Your Jedi powers will not work on me, boys.

The Amn: <to Skurge> Is he gonna quote the whole fucking movie?

SYB: At last we have the mighty Chewbacca.

Skurge: Forget it, he's rolling.

<Fezzik slowly walks over, his hand heavily bandaged>

The Amn: How are you, big guy?

Fezzik: ...

Skurge: Fezzik?

Fezzik: ...

The Amn: Well shit.

Skurge: What?

The Amn: When he gets quiet, bad things happen.

Skurge: Maybe we should go pay Gods & Monsters a little visit, eh?

The Amn: Let's go.

SYB: BO SHUDA~!

*FADE OUT*

[Demko]

*FADE BACK IN TO THE INSTANT WE LEFT OFF*

The IHOP group walk down the Hallway of Random Encounters, past the sheet showing this week's card. Something catches The Amnesiac's eye. He stops.

AMN: Hey guys, wait a second.

Everyone else stops in their tracks now as well.

AMN: I have... I have a World Title shot this week against David Moreland?

SYB: Yeah, THE Amnesiac. I thought you already knew that.

AMN: Hell no. I had no flippin clue. Holy shit!

Skurge and SYB both pat The Amnesiac on the back.

SYB: Congrats, bro. You think you might wanna promo or something before we head over to beatdown Gorilla Grods and The Munsters?

The Amnesiac smirks for a moment, but then looks a little hesitant, then confused.

AMN: Well... it's just really sudden. I'm not sure what to say here.

Skurge: Well, you could go with ol' Tubby here's strategy, and use movie quotes.

SYB smirks.

SYB: Or you could work with the patented 'SKURGE SMASH' strategy.

The Amnesiac just stands there, dumbfounded.

AMN: Jesus... I just don't know what to say. I mean, I'm honored that this is my first ever actual one-on-one World Title shot. This is the best opportunity I've ever had of making an impact on this federation.

SYB and Skurge look a little disheartened at this.

Skurge: So you're saying winning the Cramps de Tripod with us isn't a good thing?

AMN: Oh, no... not like that at all. I just feel like maybe I've been in IHOPs shadow recently.

SYB: IHOPs shadow? Brother, as of late, you ARE a part of IHOP. We've gone over this.

AMN: Well yeah... but I haven't really had much of a chance to do anything here on my own. Every chance I've had at a title (well, besides these wonderful Chimpanzees de Trikes titles), I've blown. Every chance I've had to make people around here take me seriously has failed. I need to step up my game this week. I mean, it's the goddamn World Title we're talking about here. I'm going to the big dance!

SYB: You know we'll be there at ringside with you, man. We can give you the unfair advantage that you need!

The Amnesiac thinks about this possibility for a moment. He shakes his head.

AMN: No. I must face Gavin Moreland alone.

SYB looks like he's about to correct The Amnesiac. Skurge elbows him.

Skurge: Why?

AMN: That's the way it's done.

SYB: Well, if that's the way it is done, then that's the way you must do it. But should you need us...

Skurge: Yeah... should you need us.

AMN: I'll call.

The Amnesiac turns and walks the other direction while the rest of IHOP go to attack Gods & Monsters.

*FADE TO BLACK*

[National Champion Chris Cole]

***OOC - Awesome debut so far for Fear Us. I would not want to be "Some Poor Unfortunate Local Workers" right now. Great job guys.

[Demko]

*FADE IN*

We see The Amnesiac working out. Something seems strange about him, though. His mask seems much smaller than it was, showing quite a bit more of his face than usual. He's lifting weights, and watching a TV in the corner of what looks like a very busy gym. Suddenly, a Sexy Female Journalist runs into the gym, headed in his direction. The Amnesiac drops the weights, in expectation of talking to the SFJ. She rushes right past him, though, and to a duo of puny-looking guys at the weight bench next to him. One is a douchey-looking blonde guy, and the other is a ginger redhead. They appear to be struggling with the 20-lb dumbbells. The blonde one looks up, sees the SFJ rushing towards them, and actually jumps a little bit.

SFJ: Aren't you guys the tag team 'Poor Unfortunate Local Workers'?

Blonde Guy: Well, we're only part of a bigger team. We're just Some 'Poor Unfortunate Local Workers'. Why do you ask?

SFJ: Well, you've got your big break this week. You're getting your first match with the OOWF. And why in God's name would you call your team 'Poor Unfortunate Local Workers', anyway?

BG: It's a long story.

Suddenly, the redhead stands up.

Red-haired Guy: We're WHAT?!

SFJ: Yeah, you guys are on the card this week.

The two men start jumping up and down. The SFJ looks a little hestitant. She interrupts their celebration.

SFJ: Uh, guys... I hate to rain on your parade, but you're gonna be facing LD Williams and Outback Jack. They just formed a new tag team called 'Fear Us'.

BG: Focus?

SFJ: Fear Us.

RHG: Famish?

SFJ: FEAR. US.

BG: Well then, I guess that's it. We're dead. I should probably call my mother.

At this moment, The Amnesiac stands up from his weight bench, points to the two men.

AMN: HA!

He walks off.

*FADE TO BLACK*

[Attitude Adjuster]

Attitude Adjuster and Johnny Adrenaline stand in front of a OOWF banner, ready for an Old School Interview. Neither are looking very spry from last week’s match against kz.

SFJ #212Plaid: After last week’s fortunate victory over kz, you now face arch enemy Drink & Destroy in the Tag Team Invitational semi-finals.

AA: Yeah.

(Uncomfortable pause.)

SFJ #212Plaid: Aren’t you going to say something?

JA: You didn’t ask a question.

SFJ #212Plaid: Wrestling interviewers never ask questions. We just make random statements and then expect you to respond. I learned that from Karen’s Angle, where Karen Angle claims to ask the hard questions without actually asking questions.

AA: Ah, hell. Where’s Tom Brokaw when you need him?

JA: Look, I’ll help you out. It’s very clear that The Chickenshit Heels are back on top of the tag team world. Last week, we beat the team that beat the team that holds the belts. In our mind, that makes us the uncrowned OOWF tag team champions. And if those two masked idiots taught us anything, it’s that screaming and crying about being uncrowned champions—regardless of how lacking in talent you may be—eventually gains you a title shot. The difference, you jobbers to the Ding Dongs, is that we won’t take six months to actually make good on the phrase “uncrowned champions.” Even if we have to turn face, we’ll eventually come after you two Par 3 Spider Monkey Brains, remove those titles from your waists and put them where they will be honored—with The Chickenshit Heels.

AA: Johnny, do we really want to turn face? Remember how bad that turned out last time?

JA: Just introduce the footage, AA.

AA: Right. Monkeys in the Truck, roll the footage of last week so we can show the world how we dominated kz and why we deserve to be considered favorites in this tag team invitational.

An obviously doctored tape rolls:

Johnny carries his trophies to the ring again, leaving them with Nash at the announce table. Stare down at the bell, and... Capps takes down Moose... AA jumps down on him, hooks the legs, grabs the tights... and Williams soccer kicks him right in the face! Johnny throws up his hands in disgust, then realizes it's 2 on 1...Johnny breaks that up...AA clotheslines LDW down and TCH takes over. Some double teaming in the corner... Capps takes down Moose (wait, didn’t we already see that?)... Johnny goes low on Moose, and rolls back in the ring. Williams nails Capps with a suicide dive, and the ref gets taken out too...AA staggers up a bloody mess and Moose swings the chair like a baseball bat and wallops Capps on the side of the head. HOWEVER... the ref sees that from the floor and calls for the bell! Williams can't believe it, but now that it doesn't matter, clobbers Johnny one more time. Moose and Williams take the chairs and beat the ever loving hell out of TCH until they are quivering puddles of jello.

AA: See, once again kz could not handle TCH and resorted to using chairs and illegal tactics. AND THEY GOT CAUGHT! HA!

SFJ #212Plaid: I don’t remember the match looking like that at all. Are you trying to pull the wool over America’s eyes?

JA: Have you learned nothing from the presidential debates? If you say something and your opponent doesn’t respond within 8.65 seconds, what you said is the truth. And since I don’t see kz out here with a rebuttal, what we just said is the truth!

AA:I never thought I could learn something from John McCain.

JA: Me either, But that bastard better not win, because if he does you know Internet gambling is going down the tubes.

AA: That reminds me, I gotta get down on the Rays tonight. You want some?

JA: Of course. I’m tired of riding Greyhound to matches.

AA: Yeah, well LeCar wasn’t much fun either.

JA & AA: GO RAYS!!

[Tommy]

*Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling are WATCHING~! OOWF-TV on the Sony Multimedia Center in the Run DEA Locker Room and Suites, presented by Aquafina and Starwood Hotels. At one point, Samantha notices Davin's face turning red and is visibly tensing up*

SD: Davin...don't.

DM: Where's your sister?

SD: Davin...

DM: Where the fuck IS she, Sam?

*Samantha dutifully goes off to Alexis' suite and knocks on the door. Alexis comes out and Samantha says something to her (out of range) in which Alexis' expression changes completely. Just then, Davin rounds the corner.*

DM: Meeting. Now.

LD: You know, who the fuck are...

DM: NOW Alexis!

*Davin enters the room, and Samantha tries to follow, but Davin stops her*

DM: Managing Partners meeting. Sorry, honey. Won't be but a minute.

*Davin slams the door and we see Samantha standing outside. Immediately, there is a LOT of undecipherable screaming and yelling from both parties. Alexander Darling comes into the hallway, apparently just leaving the gym and heading to his own suite*

AD: What's going on?

SD: Technically or actually?

AD: Um...let's do technically.

SD: *using air quotes* "Managing Partners Meeting"

AD: Sounds productive. What is it actually?

SD: Davin's heated. Alexis is heated. Davin and Alexis are heated and therefore heated at EACH OTHER because that's what they do.

AD: Very dysfunctional.

SD: Indeed.

*Firewoman walks by on the way to her suite*

FW: You guys are really talking about someone ELSE being dysfunctional?

SD: Fuck off, Li -

FW: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

*Phantos and Lucios now come in, beaten and bloodied, but more pissed off than anything else. Firewoman runs over to them*

FW: What the fuck happened?

P: *through gritted teeth* Those mother.........lovers....

*Just then the yelling has subsided*

SD: Oh good, it's almost done.

*A minute or so goes by and Davin throws the door open. Alexis comes out with several sheets of paper, and starts handing one to everyone*

DM: It's unfortunate it's come to this, but due to recent events, we - including myself, have lost focus as to what we're here to do in Run DEA. After my meeting with Alexis...

*Alexis and Davin kind of look at each other trying not to laugh*

DM:...after our meeting, we've decided that we needed to take a more corporate approach. Therefore, we've come up with a mission statement and a 8 bullet-point Action Plan. These will be guidelines, if you will, in order to help us achieve our goals.

FW: Yeah, I do SO well with rules.

DM: Did I SAY rules, smartass?

FW: I don't need to listen to this.

*Alexis grabs her elbow*

LD: Actually, you do.

DM: No. These aren't rules. They're guidelines. It's fluid, so we can suit them to our current situation, and it's that way for a reason. One of which will be me taking advantage of my position within the OOWF more than I have been. I've taken it WAY too easy. I'm going to start to remedy that right now. Lexie?

*Davin walks off and flips open his Sprint PCS Phone*

LD: Basically we're getting punked out by people around here lately, and that needs to stop. We, Run DEA, are one unit, and we should start acting like it. Fun time is over.

AD: Uh, fun time?

LD: Ok, fine. Not fun time. How about "letting shit go".

SD: To a degree, I mean.

LD: OK FINE, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN! This. Shit. Stops. Today.

*Davin walks back in the room, clicking his phone shut*

DM: Fire, call Irvine when you get a chance. Oh, and just so you know; the board has agreed with the Assistant General Manager and World Heavyweight Champion that the ban on him being here is beyond retarded. In fact, Rick's being served with a written warning from the board for his actions, probably as we speak. If Rick wants to play, we can fucking play. His incompetence is fresh on everyone's mind as it is anyway. The board's not taking very kindly to that, especially when there's a capable replacement waiting in the wings if necessary.

P: Heck yeah!

DM: You kiss your mother with that mouth?

P: No. I kiss YOUR mother with this mouth.

*Lucios sticks an arm out to stop Davin from strangling Phantos*

L: Now is NOT a real good time for that, Phantos.

P: Aww man.

DM: Ok, I need one of those mic stands there...Where is 420?

SD: She's in the lounge with some big dude with dreads.

*Davin marches into the lounge with everyone instinctively following him. He sees Moonbeam having a 20 IQ conversation with Manny Ramirez*

MR: I's jus' Manny bein' Manny, you know?

SFJ420: You're funny.

DM: 420. Microphone.

*Moonbeam rolls her eyes and grabs her microphone, shuffling over to Davin*

SFJ420: Dude, Davin...uh....you got something to say or something...right?

DM: Yes Moonbeam, thanks. Hi everyone! Your World Heavyweight Champion along with the rest of the biggest and most powerful force in all of the OOWF; Run DEA. I just thought I needed a little mic time here, and give you all some fair warning. This is me putting everyone here on notice. Bullshit will not be tolerated. You want to make a statement? Get yourself your own Moonbeam and say it.

DM: Make no mistake, there will be no more unanswered attacks. You lay a finger on ANYONE even connected with Run DEA, and you will feel the full force and retaliation of all of us. And it might not just be physical. Maybe your check gets "lost"? Maybe you get stuck in a handicap match? Maybe you're the first one out to the catering table? You see, I've been VERY patient here, and have been very generous in not pulling the strings that I have to pull.

DM: That said, as of right now, I WILL NOT hesitate to use any means at my disposal to stop the use of inappropriate behavior towards the most powerful force in the OOWF. LD, what happened to you man? Now you're a face or something? You want to get into some convoluted team with a glorified jobber who hasn't done shit in a year? What happened to your rematch, man? You're better than this. You're better than OBJ, and you're SURE as hell better than sneak-attacking my brothers. I'm willing to let you skate in the name of "making a statement" just this once, but only, ONLY because it's you. Do NOT make the mistake of letting it happen again.

DM: Traitormask. You, I do not have such regard for. You are a traitor to the OOWF, a fraud, a phony and a joke. You want to suck Rick off? That's your business; but as I just evidenced, that sort of bullshit will no longer be tolerated. By the way, your fine is STILL in tact, regardless of whatever your butt-buddy says. You will not lay one single finger on any member of Run DEA. You're simply not good enough to have that privilege. And if you do? I'm not just promising pain, or making you jerk the curtain for a couple weeks. No Takaken; I'll simply make sure your career is over and that you'll never set foot in any ring ever again. And friggin try me if you don't believe it. Try me.

DM: Stank, FF, Mags, Spin - I'll give you credit. We don't like each other, but we're taking care of things the right way. You're still a bunch of slow, dumb, fat guys who I want to destroy, but at least you're not doing this chickenshit backstage stuff or "sending a message". We're gonna dance, and we're gonna dance soon. And it will be epic. And Run DEA, as usual, will come out on top, like always.

DM: Finally, THE Amnesiac. I pity you. You beat Mark Fucking Vander and you get a title shot. That's good for you. Unfortunately, it happened in a week where my brothers and sisters are being fucked with. Unfortunately, after hearing this, I'll be accused of making promises I can't keep. Unfortuately, I'll be facing you at Mayhem, and unfortunately, I'm going to have to make an example of you so that everyone understands...everyone understands just what I'm capable of; never mind what we are capable of.

DM: I'll try not to maim you permanently, Amnesiac; but I make no promises. It will just be a warning to everyone back there who's going to try to make a name off of Run DEA.

DM: There will be consequences.

DM: We are Run DEA. Fucking Deal With It.

*fade*

[wld]

**Fear Us are drinking beer and watching Davin’s promo. Scheme Gene is with them to get their comments.**

OBJ: “Looks like we got their attention.”

LD: “Apparently.”

OBJ: “Moreland, if calling me an over glorified jobber is the best you’ve got, you’re more pathetic than I thought. Learn your history boy. Better men than you have tried me, and fallen.”

LD: “And as for what happened to Phantos and Lucios, that wasn’t a Statement, that was an Introduction. When we make a Statement, they won’t walk away. In the meantime, if you really want us, you know where to find us.”

OBJ: “And soon, you’ll learn how to FEAR US.”

[fasteddie]

(The camera comes up on Gods and Monsters who are sitting in their locker room watching the events of the day unfold. Selena is sitting on the floor listening to her IPOD.)

Tytan: Well...well...well. Here we are again, its another week and we are still sitting in this tournament. It's funny to see that Run DEA didn't even acknowledge the fact that we beat them.

Poe: I told the boy it was going to happen and once again he just didn't understand. You constantly find a way to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. That is why you will always be in Davin's Shadow.

Tytan: So now it comes to this. We have to face IHOP, I will give it to you boys. You boys are a good team but you will never walk among The Gods and Monsters. You see we have something you two will never have.

Poe: Brains?

Tytan: Well...

Poe: The ability to destroy someone without feeling an ounce of guilt.

Tytan: Maybe that too...

Poe: Someone that is actually worth being in our corner.

(Selena acknowledges that.)

Tytan: Well then that is another thing too.

Poe: Or is it the fact that we have been watching IHOP's promos on OOWF-TV and know that they are looking for us and the only reason why we are still here is that we are actually waiting for them.

Tytan: That is too true, and we have the toys to prove it.

(With that Tytan pulls out a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire, and Poe pulls out a bat wrapped in barbed wire also.) Skurge. SYB you two drunk punks put down the beer long enough so you can walk a straight line. We are not hard to find. Just follow your nose.

Selena:(Taking off her headset) So these guys can break them.

Poe: We are Gods and Monsters and you will never be able to stand in the same ring as us.

(Fade to black)

[blownspot]

Stank - Well?

Spin - He's not answering.

Stank - Fuck.

<Stank and Spin Hansen are sitting in a booth in the Destroyitarium. Shannon the barmaid walks up and sits two pints down on the table. FF Capslock is over by the dartboard nailing the outer bull with one dart, followed seconds later by another dart, sticking in the bull's ring.>

FFC - FUCK!

<Stank turns his attention to Spin who is FUMING! His Intercontinental Title Belt not in sight.>

Stank - The Chickenshit Heels will pay.

Spin - No. They will burn.

Stank - Spin let Lock and I handle this.

Spin - He's MY partner Stank!

Stank - And BOTH of you are mine! Lock and I will take care of this!

Spin - Sure like we're taking care of Run DEA?

<Stank glares at Spin. Spin doesn't even look up from his beer.>

Spin - Sorry...

Stank - No. You're right. I know it appears we're letting a lot of shit slide. But I assure you. Payback will be a bitch.

Spin - ... What if I think that's not good enough?

Stank - Meaning?

Spin - Meaning... well look at Jack. He partners up with fricken LD Williams and they have already taken themselves a piece. For them there was no "will be" it just "is."

Stank - ...

Spin - ...

Stank - You wanna go run with them?

Spin - ...

Stank - Do you?

Spin - I want us... You, Me, FF Capslock... I want us to fucking DO something! You and I both know I ain't got the temperament for any of that subtle, undercover, slow burn bullshit. Are we Drink and Destroy or wha-

<Spin is interrupted by the sudden actions of Stank who JUMPS out of his seat, grabs the edge of the table, and RIPS it from its foundation in the wall. He FLINGS the table across the room where it SMASHES into the mirror behind the bar. The bartender slowly rises from behind the bar having narrowly missed being beheaded. Stank GRABS the front of Spin's shirt and lifts the big man from his seat bringing the IC Champ face to face with the angry faction leader.>

Stank - Don't you EVER in YOUR LIFE... question it!

<The two big men, breathing heavily, stare at each other in rage! FF Capslock yells from the back of the room.>

FFC - Why don't you two get a room?

<Stank slowly releases his grip and smooths out Spin's shirt. He pats the big man on his chest.>

Stank - I... I'm sorry, brother. Just know... I AM doing something. The Run DEA problem will resolve itself in time. The Chickenshit Heels...? Will always be The Chickenshit Heels. Beating the shit out any one of those pricks will only provide us with short-term gain. I'm looking at the big picture. I need you to defend that belt. I know you don't want it, but do it for Mags until he gets his head straight. What I don't need is for you to wage some kind of personal war in the name of revenge. What WE don't need is this group falling apart. Everyone has a role. I know being a role player doesn't suit you, but you be Intercontinental Champion. Do that and I promise you... everything else will fall into place... but we CAN'T force it... not yet. You hearing me?

Spin - ...

Stank - Spin?

Spin - I hear you.

Stank - Spin you've... you've proven yourself to be one my closest allies. Even closer than Lock in some respects. I need you on my side. I need you to stay the course. This thing you got going with the dude in the boiler room...

Spin - That's not-

<Stank holds up his hand, cutting Spin off.>

Stank - I don't care who you talk to or take advice from, as long as you know that I... we... here at Drink & Destroy are your brothers. We're family. And I... I am not about to let everything we've built together fall by the wayside. That includes bringing Mags back into the fold. Our day is coming... and it's coming soon. Believe that.

Spin - ... alright bro... alright.

<Spin turns and walks over to join FFC at the dartboard. Stank turns and looks at the damaged mirror.>

Stank - Fuck.

<The front door opens. Stank looks over at the new arrival in mild surprise.>

Stank - What the fuck are YOU doing here, you bitch ass motherfucker.

<fade>

[Jack Quinn]

<SFJ13 is in the back where she stops Moose>

SFJ13: Moose, your partnership with LD Williams seems to have ended abruptly, what are your thoughts on his sudden partnership with Outback Jack?

MHJ: I think the tag division just got a whole hell of a lot more dangerous

SFJ13: No hard feelings then?

MHJ: Why would there be hard feelings? LD is his own man and he can team with whomever he wants

SFJ13: Well kz......

MHJ: kz will always be there. We proved our legend by taking out the world tag team champions. They know, as do all the other tag teams in the OOWF that their chances of success go up tremendously when kz isn't teaming. That is......

<Fear Us walks in and flanks Moose>

.......until these two showed up.

SFJ13: But, doesn't this align you with Drink and Destroy against DEA?

MHJ: No. I have no problem with DEA. Now, that said, if LD called me and told me that he needed my help, he knows I always have his back. If that sides me with Drink and Destroy against DEA.......well it wouldn't be the first time I was on the same side as Drink & Destroy now would it?

SFJ13: What are your thoughts on your match this week against Tyson Kincaid?

MHJ: Tyson Kincaid. Tyson is like a lost little puppy right now. He needs someone to show him the way, and what better person to do that, than me?

SFJ13: Trust you?

MHJ: <Smirking> Trust me, fear them

<Moose and Fear Us walk away>

[Spinch]

(Spin is walking out of the Destroyitarium as he catches Outback Jack, L.D. Williams, and Moosehead Jack on their way in...)

OBJ: How're things going in there, mate?

SH: Better. D&D is going to be as strong as ever.

Moose: Even with what they did to D.H.?

(Spin's pupils shrink to pinpoints. He speaks in a very even and steady tone of voice, obviously keeping himself calm.)

SH: Even that. I've got a long memory... and I'm not going to let this go.

(Outback Jack tosses something to Spin... the camera zooms in and it's black and white facepaint.)

OBJ: My work here's done. Why don't you show Wrath what you've learned?

SH (smears some white paint on his face): Delighted to.

L.D.: This is going to be fun to watch.

[Road Warrior Shark]

The scene opens to a luxurious television interview set. The CBS Evening News’ Katie Couric is seated in one chair sipping something from a mug. She calls out to the producer.

CENKC: Jeff, who Is this top secret Interview?

Jeff: Don’t know Miss Couric. All we know is the top executives set this up and requested You personally.

CENKC: I loathe going into these things blindly. I don’t get a chance to have any research done.

Jeff: The office said you’d be very familiar with the subjects work.

(Katie takes another sip of her beverage, when suddenly, she drops the mug and lets out a bloodcurling scream.)

CENKC: YOOOOOOOOU! You Bastard! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!

(The camera pans to where Phantos and Lucios have stepped onto the interview set. Lucios steps in front of his partner, just in case.)

Phantos: Kaite. Long time. You look great toots.

CENKC: I am Not interviewing the two of you. I Can’t

Jeff: Miss Couric, The office insisted on you. You’ll have to

CENKC: NOOOOOOOO!

Lucios: Oh Shut up. No one here is pleased about doing this. I have a contract. You have a contract. He has a contract. We just need to do this and get it over with.

(Katie throws herself down in the chair and sighs loudly. Lucios sits in the near chair across from her, putting Phantos further away from Katie)

Phantos: Look, it really wasn’t what you thought anyway, she was just…

Lucios (cutting him off): Shut up. That’s only going to make this worse.

Jeff: Alright. Let’s roll tape. (He hands Katie a clipboard, presumably with questions to ask on it)

(Cheesy Intro music plays and Katie faces the camera, obviously forcing a smile)

CENKC: Good evening. My guests tonight are the OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Phantos & Lucios. Let’s cut to the chase. You two have not spoken publiclly about the Run DEA beatdown on Stank and subsequent attitude change.

Lucios: Run DEA made a decision. A decision to do things that benefitted Us. We were finished doing anyone else’s bidding. The time had come for us to look out for ourselves.

CENKC: and what do you say to the fans out there who have always supported you?

Phantos: You see…

CENKC: I think we’d really like to hear this from your partner.

Lucios: Listen you overblown skirt, my partner is just as capable as answering these mundane queries as I am. You Will show him some courtesy.

CENKC: Alright, Pha…Phantos, What do you have to say to your former fans.

Phantos: It is real simple. We didn’t get into this business to make people happy. We didn’t win championships all over the globe because it made the fans happy. We did what we did for Our benefit. What the fans think about our decision is immaterial. Run DEA is about what’s best for Run DEA. Period.

CENKC: So all that lip service you gave to doing things the right way and not sinking to the level of your opponents, was just a lie?

Lucios: No. We haven’t changed our stripes. We still are the best technical wrestlers on the planet. Just ask Mr. Williams. We are still wrestlers first. We don’t use weapons and garbage fighting during a match. Between shows, we will do whatever it takes to protect Our interests. And what’s best for us includes what’s best for Run DEA.

CENKC: You have made quite a few statements calling yourselves Division Killers. Seemingly overnight, what was a depleted list of competitors became the toughest division in the OOWF. Your thoughts?

Phantos: Competition? Please. We took the moniker Division Killers because it was true. We had taken out and beaten basically every tag team there was to face. Why do you think Rick planned this tournament? He needed to come up with some competition for us.

Lucios: There are some new faces in the tag ranks, that’s true. The Heels. Been there, beaten that. How’s your neck Johnny? Drink and Destroy? Capslock is a shell of his former self. Stank is a hoss, but it takes more than brute strength to become great. And our record of greatness has left those two teams in the dust.

Phantos: Gods and Monsters sure do like to talk, but really, what have they won? Three or four matches now? Boys, when you build an actual resume, come and see us.

Lucios: and Fear Us. I’ll admit, you caught us off guard with your little in-ring demonstration. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So Thanks for the Compliment! We have suffered beat downs before. Your little display did nothing to lessen our standing in OOWF history. Jack, we have never tangled, but I know from watching OOWF-TV On Demand you are a tough cookie. LD, your record as a tag team specialist is well known. One of these days, the two of you might Measure Up, but until then, accomplish something as a team besides running your mouths together.

CENKC: Finally, you two haven’t won a match since the Hell on Earth IV incident. Don’t you think there is a correlation?

Lucios: No. We wrestled to a draw with 3 Piece X last week. Moosehead Jack and Mr. Williams caught lightning in a bottle the week before. We were forced into singles matches for Imperial Onslaught. This week, we resume our domination of the OOWF Tag Team Division and put Cole and Mr. O’Mac in their place.

CENKC: That’s all the time we have. Good Night America.

(Katie gets up to leave quickly, but Phantos catches her at the far end of the set. He whispers something into her ear and she smiles and nods. He rejoins Lucios and they head for the exit)

Lucios: You just can’t help it, can you? You know Firewoman’s not going to like you talking to her.

Phantos: I know. Maybe she’ll punish me.

(Lucios shakes his head in dismay as the scene cuts to….)

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*LD, OBJ, & MHJ are sitting at a table in the Destroyitarium*

LD: Worried about Davin holding up your paycheck?

OBJ: I've been saving up the money from Fosters, Outback Steakhouse, and Subaru for years.

MHJ: What about you? You're not big on endorsements.

LDW: Well. I've been moonlighting in the family business.

*A large shadow looms over the table, and an envelope stuffed with cash lands on the table*

LDW: I'll be OK.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*FADE IN TO THE LESS THAN PALATIAL GODS & MONSTERS LOCKER ROOM*

Poe <taking a practice swing>: They used to call me Crazy Poe, now they call me Batman.

Tytan: …

Poe: It’s a joke… like the line from Lean On Me.

Tytan: I got it, just watch out for IHOP.

<KNOCK KNOCK>

Selena: I’ll get it!

Poe: Be careful, my pet.

Tytan: I'll go with her.

<She opens the door to find a rather large floral delivery man who is holding a bouquet of roses in front of his face.>

RLFDM: <sporting a heavy Greenlandian accent> I have a delivery for Poe.

Selena: Flowers! Yay! <She takes the flowers and starts to read the card>

Selena: Roses are red

Violets are blue

Never fuck with a Canuck and a Joo

<OMG SWERVE~! Fezzik chokeslams Tytan as SYB and Skurge drop from the ceiling and put the boots to Poe.>

Skurge: Fucking get him, Solly!

<SYB puts a pair of handcuffs (don't ask) on a dazed and bloody Poe and restrains him with the barbed wire bat as Skurge taunts him>

Skurge: This is what happens Poe. <PUNCH> You see what happens, Poe? <PUNCH> This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! <PUNCH>

Poe: <spitting out blood and teeth> THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING SKURGE

Skurge: Indeed it is. <to Fezzik and SYB> Let's get the fuck oot of here.

SYB: Wait, don't you have one more line?

Skurge: Oh yeah. <He gets nose to nose with Poe> Never more, eh?

*FADE OUT*

[Demko]

Moosehead Jack approaches The Amnesiac in the Hallway of Intentional Encounters. As he walks up, The Amnesiac holds up a hand to stop him.

AMN: Wait a second there, Moose. I know what you're here to talk about.

MHJ: You... you do?

AMN: Yes. You're here to wish me good luck in my first ever World Heavyweight Title match next week. And you're here to tell me that although you support Davis Moreland as the World champ, you're secretly pulling for me to win the title, since I'd obviously be a better representative of the OOWF.

MHJ: I was going to tell you all of that?

AMN: You weren't?

Moose pauses for a moment. He looks at The Amnesiac with a quite serious and grave look on his face.

MHJ: Actually, I did want to wish you good luck. I think you've definitely got the talent to get in that ring with DAVIN Moreland and entertain the hell out of that crowd. However, I don't think you'll be able to win, unfortunately. Especially with Moreland in the state of mind he's currently in-

AMN: Ah, but that's where you're wrong! You think his state of mind actually helps him during his match with me. I'm actually of the opposite opinion. I think that he's got WAY too much on his plate to be at all concerned with me, and therefore, I've got a better shot at stealing that title away from him next week. Did you see Niven's promo earlier?

MHJ: I think you mean Davin-

AMN: DON'T correct me. He talked about Run DEA business. He talked about vague random threats to everyone in the OOWF. He talked about someone named Moonbeam, whoever the hell THAT is. He's apparently watching his own back more intensely than a contortionist on cocaine. And that's to my advantage. Because I've got him down there in a one-on-one matchup. There will be no outside interference. I've already made sure that IHOP won't be at ringside. But in Yavin's mind, he's not just facing me. He's facing the world. Anything that distracts his attention will allow me to slip in and become the champion.

MHJ: Well... let me tell you what I actually came to talk to you about, though.

AMN: What's that?

MHJ: Your match against DAVIN Moreland has been made a no DQ, falls count anywhere match.

AMN: Oh?

You can almost visibly see the wheels turning in The Amnesiac's head. He's deep in a thought, trying to process this new information when Moose snaps his fingers in front of The Amnesiac's face.

MHJ: Did you hear me? You'll be facing Davin Moreland in a no-DQ, falls count anywhere match.

AMN: Oh, I heard you Moose. And you may have just handed that championship title to me on a platter.

With that, The Amnesiac quickly turns on his heels and walks away. Moosehead Jack is left standing in the hallway alone with the ninja cameraman.

MHJ: That guy is so weird.

[fasteddie]

(Skurge and SYB just finished there little line with Poe when all of a sudden there here a thud. They turn to see Selena standing there with a smile on her face.)

Skurge: What do you want?

Selena: You guys forgot about someone.

(They look and notice that Fezzik is layed out and bloodied on the ground.)

SYB: Oh crap!

(Just then Selena ducks and powder gets thrown into IHOPS eyes. As they are rubbing there eyes and swinging trying to protect themselves from an oncoming attack. Tytan watches and smiles as the two just miss hitting each other.)

Tytan: Gentleman you are right this is only the beginning. Never forget about Tytan. (With that there is two swift cracks with the barbed wire chair and both members of IHOP are down on the ground. Selena quickly searches them and finds the keys to unlock Poe.)

Poe: Thank you my darling. And Thank you my friend. Now for my shot. (Poe then puts a couple of swift kicks into the two members of IHOP. And Tytan gets one more shot in on Fezzik.) Where are the handcuffs I have an idea?

(Selena hands the cuffs to Poe who then smiles.)

Poe: We need some more cuffs since it's time to take out the trash.

(Poe then begins to handcuff IHOP and Fezzik back to back. Everytime one of them moves Poe gives them a swift kick in the ribs.)

Poe: Now we need to get them out of here.

Tytan: I have an idea.

(Tytan leaves and after a few minutes comes back with Gaelic Storms Forklift of Fun.)

Poe: Nice to see that one again.

(Tytan notices that the three are a bit more bloody then when he left.)

Poe: What? They moved and I was tired of kicking them.

(They then load the three onto the forklift, that came equipped with an old Ultimo Inc. transport unit. Then letting Selena drive takes them out to the trash and dumps them in.)

Tytan: Now as far as the keys go. (He then takes them and throws them in different directions.

Poe: Now maybe they will understand what the Wrath of Gods and Monsters will be.

(Fade out.)

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman and Alexander Darling are WALKING~! and of course ARGUING~! down the Hallway of ... well, you know.

FW: Seriously...most NHL games played, most regular season wins, most playoff games, most playoff WINS, most Conn Smythe wins...I don't know how you can even argue against that.

AD: Shutouts? OT Wins? Only goalie to score a game winning goal--

FW: Whatever, he's a great goalie, but it doesn't come close to measuring--

AD: Look, we don't need to do this every season, do we?

FW: Apparently we do, as you're still delusional.

AD: What's going on with Phantos?

FW: Nice subject change. Hard to tell with the mask. There's a lot I don't--

AD: Stop...I just meant--

FW: I know what you meant, and it's none of--

Firewoman stops mid sentence as she spies the poster of Phantos and Lucios drinking Dasanni and her riding, of all things, a Vespa. Alexander doesn't see this at first.

AD: No, it's none of my business, but I'm just curious--

Finally, Alexander sees the posters, and tries to cover up a laugh.

AD: Wow, you look pretty hot on that...is that a moped?

Firewoman shoots him a look, and rips both posters down. She crumbles them up and gets her trusty Zippo Lighter and sets them ablaze. She then heads down the hallway. Alexander waits a while, watching them burn, then nonchalantly stomps on them and puts them out, as if he's done this for Firewoman before. He then puts his hands in his pockets, and whistles as he follows Firewoman, down the hall for a moment, taking a left while Firewoman continues on, straight to "Concrete" Takaken Gryfon's locker room.

Firewoman is POUNDING~! on the door. Eventually, Concrete cautiously opens the door, and peeks out. He looks straight ahead, and sees no one, but then looks down and sees Firewoman.

CTG: Citizen Fire. I thought you would come by eventually. [he looks around] You came alone?

FW: Shut up, Cape-Boy. Your photo shop skills leave a lot to be desired.

CTG: Well, I am just a beginner. I'm not accustomed to such deceit. Now, your photoshops of Attitude Adjuster, that was almost professional quality.

FW: Did I say you could talk? Look, I could mock your pathetic attempts at spelling -- it's D-A-S-A-N-I by the way -- but I'm not going to. I'm here to call you a hypocrite to your face.

CTG: A-- a-- I am no such-- Clearly, your relationship with Jer--

FW: Don't even finish saying his name. You claim to be all about rules and order, yet you continue to skirt the rules as much as you possibly can. Your stupid match with Moose broke every rule there's ever been in professional wrestling. You keep trying to get out of paying a fine for being late, because you couldn't operate a door handle--

CTG: I think I had a little help with that--

AD: I think the lady said to shut up.

Alexander Darling reappears, leaning against the wall, his hands behind his back

CTG: The lady can hold her own just fine.

FW: The lady can speak for her own fucking self. And last but not least, you cheated in the ring.

CTG: What? How dare-- I never--

Concrete steps out of the doorway now, into the hallway, and steps closer to Firewoman, who characteristically doesn't back down. Alexander Darling becomes incredibly interested in the state of his fingernails.

FW: Bull. Truck monkeys, roll the tape:

Gryfon lets go and Fire staggers back and CTG connects with a drop kick to Fire’s knee causing her to drop the sledgehammer. Crete shrugs and plants it right between FW’s eyes. He slides the sledgehammer out of the ring and drops down to make the cover just as Hale gets back in the ring…

FW: Brave. Quite a heroic moment for ya there, Captain Caveman.

CTG: You brought the weapon in--

FW: And you picked it up and used it. Typical man, blaming the woman for his own lack of self control.

CTG: I've tried to be polite to you, but I have had quite enough of these accusations. We will settle this in the ring.

FW: Heh. Figures. Coward.

At that, Concrete bristles. He turns away, but then thinks better of that. He lunges for Firewoman who is ready and dodges him nicely. Alexander looks up from inspecting his manicure, and with the right hand he still had behind him, casually hands the sledgehammer off to Firewoman. Firewoman grabs it, steps quickly behind Concrete, with the handle of the sledgehammer on his throat, and pulls him down backwards to her level.

FW: Ah, so we're brave now. Try and maintain that for the ring, Traitormask. You'll need it.

Firewoman releases Concrete, who slides the floor, coughing. Firewoman hands the sledgehammer back to Alexander, and walks back towards the DEA Suites. Alexander swings it up over his shoulder.

AD: Wow...you know, I never quite got it before, but you know I get it now. That totally sparkles. [He leans down to Concrete] Booyah, Bitch!!!! [and goes back towards the DEA Suites.]

[The Canadian Content]

*Fade in to the nowhere-near-palatial dumpster that IHOP is currently trapped in after being knocked out and dumped there by Gods & Monsters, then having the lid of the dumpster closed and the forklift’s forks made to push down on the lid, keeping it closed, at which point Tytan threw the keys to the forklift away so that the members of IHOP could not be easily freed. Also, IHOP is in handcuffs. Don’t go back and check, just trust me. That’s where we’re at…

SYB: Ugh. Where the fuck are we? This place smells like an ass taco.
Skurge: No shit, eh? I think I’m gonna puke, and it’ll actually improve the smell in here.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
SYB: …
Skurge: …
Fezzik: Seriously, I found a peanut. If no one else wants it, I’ll eat–
Unidentified Person: *HURL~!*
Skurge: Jesus, Solly, watch it. You almost puked on me.
SYB: Dude, that wasn’t me. Must’ve been Fezzik.
Fezzik: No, it wasn’t me either.
UP: It was me, you morons.
Skurge: Dorothy?
DM: Who else?
Skurge: Um, what are you doing in here, eh?
SYB: Yeah, you weren’t with us when we got knocked out by Dogs & Lobsters.
DM: Well, someone had to get you guys out of here. I overheard those idiots saying where they were going to dump you, so I came up with a plan and hid in here to tell you about it.
Skurge: Uh, okay…What’s the plan?
DM: Well, when Gods & Monsters get here with you guys, I’ll hide behind the dumpster and watch to see where Tytan throws the forklift keys. Then I’ll wait for them to leave, get the keys, and let you out of the dumpster.
Skurge: Who is letting us out?
DM: I am.
Skurge: …
SYB: …
Fezzik: …I think this could work!
Skurge: *sigh* I see one small problem with your plan, Dorothy. You’re in–

*Just then, the forklift starts up and backs away from the dumpster. The confused members of IHOP open the lid and see…

IHOP: Grammar!
Skurge: Dude! I can’t believe you came to rescue us! Thanks, eh?
Grammar: You know me, Skurge — I’m always looking out for my friends.
SYB: Hey Grammar, you don’t happen to have the handcuff keys too, do you?
Grammar: I sure do, Solly. I sure do. Luckily, they were on the same key ring as the forklift keys. I’m not sure what keys Tytan threw in other directions.

*Grammar unlocks the handcuffs that were restraining Skurge, SYB, and Fezzik…

Skurge: Now it’s time to get some revenge. The pasta sauce incident was bad enough, but now Gals and Misters have gone too far. Any idea where they went, Grammar?
Grammar: Of course. They’re in their favorite seats in that bar over there.

*IHOP makes their way to the bar to dole out some garbage-odored justice as we *FADE*

[fasteddie]

(IHOP make there way down to the bar that Grammer told them that Gods and Monster went in to.)

Skurge:Now are you sure this is the one that Grammar said they went into?

SYB: This is it. (SYB notices that there are two bar practically side by side each other, and begins to wonder.) This is the one he said that they went into.

Skurge: I don't know but there is something I don't like about this.



**OOC-Best one I could find. Just think of the other party as where G&M really are.

SYB: Remind me to tell Grammar to make sure he gets his eyes checked.

Skurge:Those damn Gods and Monsters!

Biker#1: I'll show you a Monster!

Skuge: That's it. I'm going to do the only thing that I can to get us out of here.



Meanwhile....

Tytan: So, do you think we are going to hear from IHOP any time soon?

Poe: Let's just say I did something to make sure they got thrown off our trail for a bit.

(The two toast there drinks as we fade to black)