[Jack Quinn]

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Pennsylvania

OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match[/u]
Eric O'Mac vs. Davin Moreland

OOWF Intercontinental Title Match[/u]
Firewoman vs. Moosehead Jack

OOWF World Tag Team Title Match[/u]
Fear Us vs. The Chickenshit Heels

OOWF Onslaught Championship Match[/u]
Alexander Darling vs. Seamus McNasty

OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match[/u]
IHOP vs. Stank, Spin Hansen & FF Capslock

Bryce Larson & Nayr vs. Phantos & Lucios
Concrete TG vs. Damon Wrath
Chris Cole vs. Tytan
Poe vs. Tyson Kincaid

Card subject to stuff

[fasteddie]

In case this was missed before the PPV....

(Upon the rooftop of the OOWF building. Tytan stands in the cold waiting.)

Voice: Well, this better be damn good why you brought me up here.

Tytan: It is. We have a common enemy and its time we put our issues aside and do something about it.

Voice: It seems Steele is teaching you a thing or two now that you are back working with him

Tytan: I told you. I was ready to fight these guys. I knew you weren't 100% on board so I went out on my own. I wanted to keep her out of trouble too.

Voice: There was a better way of doing it though.

Tytan: Maybe you are right, but there was something I needed to prove to you. I wanted to show you that I was more then your sidekick.

Voice: So instead you go off and get into a war with Firewoman. I warned you of the hell you were getting yourself into.

Tytan: You did and I appreciated it, but it would have helped if you had my back.

Voice: We all pick our wars.

Tytan: Which leads us to now. A mutual friend wants us to settle up.

Voice: I know. He knows a war is about to start and he wants this side on the same page.

Tytan: So do we do it?

Voice: Are you tired of getting your ass kicked and not having any backup?

Tytan: Ultimo Security can only do so much.

(They both laugh as Poe walks out from the shadows.)

Tytan: So we do it then.

(Tytan reaches out his arm.)

Poe: We do.

(Poe reaches to shake his hand and then pulls Tytan in.)

Poe: I will let these issues go...for now. But if you want respect there will be a time and a place where we will face each other in the ring.

Tytan: Agreed. But now we fight together.

Poe: An eliminate this enemy once and for all.

(Fade)

[fasteddie]

(In Ultimo Inc.'s locker Room after the PPV. Tytan is reading the memo that was handed to them in regards to the match tonight.)

Tytan: Due to the Fact that we are dealing with the amount of bloodshed and hatred between the Tytan and Firewoman. I am issuing a "cooling-off" period and both wrestlers will face other opponents at Mayhem. Signed Your GM The Rick."

(Crumbling up the paper)

Tytan: The SOB. He can't do that.

Steele: Tytan he did, and right now there is nothing we can do about it.

Tytan: It means I will just have to make Cole hurt the way I was planning on making Firewoman hurt. (To the camera) Fire...this is far from over. You get a little bit of time to heal up, and make sure you pull all the glass out of that pretty little head of yours so I can bust it up again.

(Steele sits back and smiles.)

Firewoman you see the time will come when you will be extinguished!

Steele:(Whispers to Biggs) Maybe it is time to talk to our friend again.

Biggs: I understand boss.

(Biggs gets up and leaves as the camera fades out.)

[Fire-Babe]

At the Springfield Hospital, Firewoman is being anything BUT cooperative getting her head wound stitched up.

FW: Dammit, I am fine. Go take care of Dav--

Nurse: You are not fine. You need stitches, and we have plenty of personnel. Your friend is getting the finest care.

LD: Lisa, would you just HOLD STILL.

FW: Lexie, I am not holding still, I have to find Tytan, or maybe Eric, or maybe--

Alexander Darling comes through the curtain
AD: Or maybe shut up would you? Damn, I can hear you all the way down the hall.

FW: You know, I don't need this from you. You tell me to stay away from Moose, then you have your little clandestine meeting with him, and don't think I wouldn't have known about that even without the ninja cams--

Nurse: Hold still......

FW: --and after that meeting, suddenly I get some sort of message from Rick that Tytan and I are not going to settle things once and for all, but I get MOOSE? You can't even expect me to a believe that's a coincidence, so how 'bout you--

Nurse: I can't work like this

The nurse reaches back to get a syringe of some kind and does whatever nurses do with those....she administers it to Firewoman's arm, but Firewoman barely notices.

FW: --just tell me what little deal you cut and why I'm facing him instead of Tytan?

AD: Are you done? Because that doesn't even make any logical sense. How could me meeting with Moose influence Rick to do ANYTHING?

FW: Because.....because......wow....my head really, really hurts...

LD: What was that?

Nurse: Sedative. I doubt it'll knock her out, but at least I can do these stitches.

AD: Wow, can we get that by the crate?

FW: Very funny........how is.........Davin?

AD: Going to check now.

FW: Aww...and you came to.....check on me......first......

AD: That, and someone wanted to see you....

Tyler Black walks around the corner and through the curtain.

TB: Hey.

FW: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.

Tyler looks at Alexander kind of confused

AD: Sedative. She was being....difficult.

TB: Ah....good. It's about time.

FW: Yeeeeeeeah?

TB: Yeah. After our last visit, you really seem to have gotten back to your old self.

LD: That's cos she's not taking her meds.

TB: Well, whatever works.

Nurse: OKay...we're FINALLY done. You're free to go.

FW: Coooooooool......

LD: What happened to mandated over nights?

AD: Who knows. Crap, she can't drive like this.

LD: Drive what?

AD: True. I can run her back to the hotel and then come back.

LD: Eh, I don't know if she should be alone with that sedative. Who knows what she'd do.

TB: I can take her back.

Alexander and Alexis look at each other. Alexander smiles, but Alexis doesn't look pleased.

LD: That's not necessary, Tyler, I can take her back and stay with her--

AD: Lexie, you're the only other one that can sign stuff besides Davin.

TB: It's really no trouble, I don't have to be back to ROH for a while. I'll just make a few calls.

AD: Sounds great. Sound good to you Fire?

FW: Huh?

AD: Tyler is going to take you back to the hotel and stay with you, okay? That sparkle with ya?

FW: Sparkle....yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah.......

AD: Perfect....see you kids later.

Tyler takes a seat on the chair next to Firewoman's cot, and is talking softly to her. Alexander and Alexis leave and are walking down the hall towards Davin's room.

LD: I really am not comfortable with this at all, brother dear.

AD: Really Lexie? Jealous?

LD: I.....NO! Don't be ridiculous..... it's just she's in no condition to--

AD: Whatever, sister dear. Who knows, maybe she'll dump the Canuck.

[BC]

Poe is sitting on the couch in his locker room. He is obviously tired from the match. He’s holding his head in his hands as Selena bounds into the room.

SG: Master? Master what’s wrong?

Poe looks up.

Poe: Tonight did not go as expected. It’s quite frustrating.

SG: I know. You didn’t win the monkey belt. I had an outfit for it and everything.

Selena pouts and sits on Poe’s lap. Poe places his finger under her chin to lift her head to look at him as her bottom lip protrudes in a classic pout.

Poe: I know my goddess. And now…Eric O’Mac is champion. I did not plan on chasing after him for the World Title. I feel he deserves a chance to reign now.

SG: So whata ya gonna do?

Poe: I don’t know. For now, I face Tyson Kincaid on Wednesday. I could always take my frustrations out on him.

SG: Like ya did SYB?!

Selena lights up.

Poe: No, not quite. Moosehead Jack seems to be recruiting young Tyson and I’m sure potentially ending his career would not be looked on too fondly by Moosehead Jack.

SG: Yeah I guess. You know…FireWoman is the Intercontinental Champion…

Poe: We’ll see if Moosehead Jack leaves anything left of her Wednesday.





OOC: Edited because I can't seem to spell Tyson. Mike would be pissed. He'd try to eat my children. And I don't have children, so how knows what he'd do.

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*FADE IN TO THE PALATIAL IHOP LOCKER ROOM*

The mood is somber to say the least as SYB lies in traction with a halo brace around his head.

Skurge: How are you doing, eh?

SYB: Mmmgkjkjdkhdhd.

Skurge: Solly you know I don't speak Spanish.

SYB:...

Skurge: Huh. <He turns to The Amnesiac and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth> You know he's in bad shape when he can't even respond to an Anchorman quote, eh?

DM: He can't respond to anything.

The Amn: What do you mean?

DM: His jaw is wired shut.

<A small grin appears on Skurge's face>

Skurge: Shame.

The Amn: Seriously. How can we prepare for Stink, Spinach, and what's his name without some horrific pun or movie reference?

Skurge: More importantly, how ever can we get by withoot his ring prowess?

SYB: Kfjffjfjhfjfhf.

DM: I have an idea.

<She puts a Speak N' Spell up to SYB's beak and it hammers out a robotic reply>

SYB: GOAT. COCK. HAVE. SOME.

*FADE*

[blownspot]

<Jenna Fischer makes her way into Stank's crowded hospital room where we see the big man sitting up in bed and sharing a laugh with Spin Hansen and Fear Us! Stank has bandages around his neck and arms indicative of the cuts and bruises he received in his match. Despite the various injuries he appears to be in good spirits. Fear Us part ways to allow Jenna through, holding their Tag Team titles over their shoulders.>

JF - How you holding up?

Stank - I've been worse.

JF - Up for an interview?

Stank - Wow. You've really taken to this job.

<Jenna smiles and looks off to the side in a cute "who little ole me?" type way.>

Stank - Sure go ahead.

JF - No questions. Just wondering if you have anything to say to your OOWF fans. I brought a cameraman. He's not invisible.

Stank - I'm sure the invisible kind are still around.

JF - Undoubtedly.

Stank - Well, let me first start off by congratulating the NEW OOWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... FEAR US!

<Stank and the rest of Drink and Destroy, all applaud quietly.>

Stank - I only wish I could have brought over the World Title along with the Tag to D&D, but that will come in time. Speaking of the World Title I also would like to congratulate the New WORLD Champion Eric O'Mac. We have had our differences in the past Eric, but your taking the World Title from Moreland lessens the pain from my wounds. Concrats Champ and you're welcome. After you successfully defend that belt against Davin Dickweed I hope you'll consider giving me a shot.

And speaking of... the FORMER World Champion...

Congratulations dickhead, you beat me. I would say the better man won, but you're not the better man. I'm sure you'll BLAH, BLAH, BLAH about how you beat me and I should just go crawl away in a hole somewhere and think about retiring, but you know that shit ain't happening. In fact shit between us is FAR from over. By the way, how's the shoulder? Nasty little pop I heard there. As you can see... I'M still breathing. Your attempt to murder me has failed, and I gain solace in the fact that it has led to your LOSING the World Title. As long as I draw breath, or even if I'm not, it is my mission in life to WRECK you every time we meet, asshole. You haven't killed me. You haven't ended my career. Don't delude yourself into thinking I'm out the picture. Yours and the rest of Run DEA's days are numbered. These Tag Team Championship Titles held by my men here, don't even begin to cover the debt you owe us from Hell on Earth. Drink and Destroy is coming to collect.

For now though, we celebrate.

How's that for a sound byte, Jenna?

JF - Works for me.

[Andy]

FF Capslock enters the room

Capslock- Hey!

Stank- So they're saying I'll be out of here pretty soon.

Capslock- What's up, guys!?

Spin- That's good. We got a shot at those trios titles so maybe we'll get some new gold around that waste of yours.

Capslock- GUYS!

Stank- What!

Capslock- I'm back!

Stank- Oh cool.

Spin- How come you didn't give us a hand at the PPV?

Capslock- I did!

Stank- You'd think they would've mentioned it.

Capslock- They did. Apparently no one noticed though.

Stank- Huh. Well thanks for showing up, I guess.

Capslock- Yeah, so we got a big match with IHOP, eh?

Spin- Are you in on that? Cool.

Capslock- Does anyone even notice when I'm not here!?

Spin- You were gone?

Capslock- *sigh*

[blownspot]

Stank - You know a couple of weeks ago at the December 10th Mayhem you showed up, too.

FFC - I did?

Stank - Yeah. I thought it kind of weird seeing as how I had spoken to you on the phone earlier that night and you told me you were still in Fresno.

FFC - Oh... uh.

Stank - I asked Rick later about it and he said it was a mistake and that you weren't really here. I could have sworn I saw you though.

FFC - I don't know what to tell you.

Stank - ... Am I looking at you now?

FFC - Of course you are.

Stank - So you're really here? If I ask Moose later he isn't going to tell me you've moved and doesn't know when you're going to get an internet connection.

FFC - I've been back for awhile now. You know this. You saw me on chat a while back, remember? I told you about that new wrestling talent? Besides, what the hell does Moose have to do with any of this?

<Kayfabe starts pulling out her hair.>

Stank - Great so uh... How about that IHOP?

Spin - I could go for some pancakes.

LDW - Me too.

OBJ - There's an IHOP a few blocks from here.

Stank - Bring me back a stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Oh Lock, that's Pam by the way.

JF - It's Jenna.

Stank - She our new celebrity interviewer. It's all the rage, now here in the OOWF. I'll tell you about it later.

[Fire-Babe]

Firewoman is WALKING~! down the hotel hallway towards the ice machine vending area, carrying an ice bucket, followed by Tyler Black

FW: I think I can walk down the hall by myself.

TB: You're still a little groggy, and you don't need to be meeting up with ... well, geez, half the OOWF roster.

FW: Such the gentleman.

TB: For now....

She spies Selena Gomez standing at the vending machine, and an evil grin spreads across her face. Selena appears to be confused by something.

FW: Wanna have some fun?

TB: I don't think that's such a good idea. From what you were babbling on about last night before you fell asleep...

Firewoman creeps slowly towards the vending room, and then stands at the door, Tyler looking over her (because he's soooo tall.....). She waits for a bit before she speaks.

FW: Having some difficulties, little girl?

Selena jumps about 3 feet in the air, and let's out a little girly yelp. She looks, and as it registers who is standing there, blocking the only exit from the room, she starts to get nervous. Her voice quivers as she answers.

SG: Um...i wanted a candy bar....and it's stuck....

FW: Wow, sounds like a really bad day...Do you think it's about to get better or worse?

Firewoman slowly walks in, while Tyler keeps an eye on the door and the hallway. Selena backs up against the wall.

SG: Master is just down the hall. He'll--

But her words stop as Fire gets to right in front of her. Her right fist comes out of her pocket, and Selena tries to meld into the wall, but fails. Firewoman stares down at her for a bit, with that same evil grin, then opens her hand to reveal another dollar. She puts it in the machine, and gets it to knock the original one down, in addition to a second one. Firewoman reaches down and pulls both out of the machine, and hands them both to Selena.

FW: Huh...Looks like it got better.

Firewoman turns, fills the ice bucket and then leaves with Tyler. Selena stands frozen for a moment, and then runs back to Poe's suites.

[Jack Quinn]

<time passes and the camera cuts to Firewoman and Tyler Black sitting in Ric's having some coffee. Fire is wearing dark glasses, but it is still easy to see that her face is swollen. Fire takes a sip, then looks up slightly and just sighs. The camera pans around and we see Moose standing there with a cup of coffee. Tyler Black jumps to his feet knocking his chair over>

TB: You're Moosehead Jack

MHJ: That's the rumor

TB: I promised I would defend Fire, she is in no condition to fight right now....

MHJ: Relax kid. Hey, I think Bryce Larson is over there talking shit about you

TB: "The King of the Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon" Larson?

MHJ: The one and only

TB: I hate that guy!

<Tyler looks at Fire and over to where Revenge of the Nerds is sitting playing Dungeons & Dragons or something, then back, finally Fire speaks>

FW: Just go. I know you want to

<Tyler takes off across Ric's and Moose picks the chair up and takes a seat>

FW: No, please, sit down. Nothing I like more than having my coffe disrupted

MHJ: Sarcasm works for you Fire <in the distance we hear the crash of a table and men yelling Indie fed insults at one another> That was a pretty brutal shot you took at New Years Evil

FW: It will heal. Of course I am sure you would be happy to add to it right?

MHJ: You wouldn't do the same?

FW: What do you want?

MHJ: I want to ask you about Darling.

FW: Which one?

MHJ: The boy

FW: He has you saying that too now? You know that annoys Alex

MHJ: I know. What I wanted to ask is if you think he is sincere, is the offer legit

FW: <taking off her glasses> Alex is a business man, he will do what's right for Run DEA

MHJ: Right. And buying off the competition makes sense.

FW: Thats one way to look at it

MHJ: The other being?

FW: They are offering you an opportunity.

MHJ: An opportunity to get lost in the Run DEA shuffle

FW: An opportunity to go where the gold is

MHJ: And watch others parade around with it. Look Fire, if I came on board, IF you have Phantos and Lucios gunning to regain the tag straps, you have Darling holding the Onslaught title, you holding the Intercontinental, and Davin is going to want the title back from Eric. Now, you tell me, where does that leave me?

FW: There's always the trios titles.

MHJ: Yeah because teaming with Alexis and whoever else feels like it any given week is real appealing.

FW: The choice is yours.

MHJ: Ok, speaking of choices, I have one for you. What exactly are you getting out of DEA?

<Fire taps the intercontinental title setting on the table>

MHJ: So, you're saying you couldn't win that without them?

FW: Of course not. We are a family. We watch out for one another.

MHJ: Right. Cause they were right there when you got a bottle smashed across your face.

FW: They knew I was fine.

MHJ: Right. You know, there are other people in the OOWF who have their own little groups, and there is no leader to answer to, there is no pecking order, there is no hierarchy.

FW: Yeah let me just run over to Drink and Destroy

MHJ: Not them. Poe, Seamus and I

<Fire nearly spits out her coffee>

FW: POE! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

MHJ: Why Fire, you look like you just saw a ghost.

FW: After what happened in Japan, forget it

MHJ: What exactly did happen in Japan?

FW: Don't worry about it. It will never happen

MHJ: I believe you once said there is no never in wrestling.

FW: Hmph.

<behind them we see Arn Anderson escorting Tyler Black, Nayr and Bryce Larson out of the eatery>

FW: I should go, make sure Tyler isn't damaged. He has to perform tonight

MHJ: Yeah, and he has a match in a couple days too

FW:<barely concealing a grin> Fuck you Moose

<Fire leaves and Moose sits back in the chair. After a few seconds a shadow falls across him and he looks up and Poe and Selena are standing there>

MHJ: Poe, have a seat, you too Mouse

SG: Why do you call me that Uncle Moose?

MHJ: Nevermind Selena. So, Poe, what's on your mind

Poe: We didn't win the trios titles last night

MHJ: No, we didn't, but you nearly killed SYB

P: That was satisfying, but I think the gold would be better

MHJ: In time. The war may begin with a single shot, but it rarely ends with one.

P: Very true. Moosehead Jack, I find it a little odd that you are talking to Firewoman when you have a match with her in two days. You can see how some might see those actions as a bit......disconcerting

MHJ: Have no fear Poe. Its business between Fire and I

P: And the boy?

MHJ: So, you heard about his offer

P: Word travels fast

MHJ: You have nothing to worry about Poe. Trust me

SG: And me?

MHJ: You have less to worry about Mouse

P: I have Tyson Kincaid this week

MHJ: I saw that

P: You have mentioned recruiting him

MHJ: I have

P: So, you expect me to take it easy on him

MHJ: Just the opposite

P: You want me to hurt him?

MHJ: I want you to push him as far s you can. I know what he is capable of in the ring, I want someone else to confirm that. If he is going to run with us, I want to make certain that he won't crack under the pressure and NOT be there.

<Poe grins>

P: I like the way you think. I can do that.

MHJ: Trust you?

P: Namaste

<Poe and Selena leave, Poe lost in thought while Selena goes on about getting another latte>

[Demko]

The scene opens on the palatial IHOP locker room. SYB is laid up in a hospital bed that has been wheeled into the locker room. Fezzik is wearing a paper nurses hat, and is tending to him by feeding him his lunch through a straw. The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth is pacing the floor, while Skurge and The Amnesiac talk. Monkh appears to be disassembling the locker room's Christmas decorations.

AMN: We've gotta get Solly better before Wednesday.

Skurge: I know. I'd much rather us have the handicap, than for us to be even.

AMN: What do you mean? We're facing off against Stunk, Spin City and that other guy.

S: Oh yeah... I keep forgetting about that other guy.

AMN: Yeah... this isn't going to be a fun week if we can't get Solly back in that ring.

S: Well, you saw it. He took a fucking Tombstone off of a light post. Most men couldn't just get up and walk away from that.

AMN: Yeah, for all the paramedics that showed up on Sunday, though, you'll note that not one of them had to carry SYB off in a stretcher. I mean, for fuck's sake... he should be dead right now.

S: Yeah, I've been kinda wondering about that. Solly has taken a severe set of beatings over the past few months, and somehow, he's always ready to go the following week. I mean, I know people recover from broken noses and such all the time... but do you really think Solly will be ready to go on Wednesday?

AMN: I've got a theory. I think that Solly is really soime sort of superhuman. I think that he's got a healing factor 100 times higher than our own.

S: Well, if he's somehow ready to go for Wednesday, I'll believe it. Until then, the only superhuman thing about Solly Ya Bastard is the size of that goddamn schnozz. I mean, look at it. It's like a gherkin attached to a cherry!

Solly gives Skurge the one-fingered salute, even though he didn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation. Fezzik wipes the sweat off his brow. Suddenly, Dorothy Mantooth speaks up.

DM: Jesus guys... don't you ever fucking take anything seriously? Solly could have DIED in that match last night. I mean, goddamnit guys... I follow you three around, week in and week out, and everything is about Rock Band, and magical flying phone booths-

S: Ah, phone booth time mach-

DM: Fuck that noise. It's about time we got serious about these title belts around your waists. Lots of people have been running around lately, talking shit about IHOP, because of our lack of any seriousness when it comes to these belts.

AMN: Yeah, but we've held onto the titles this long.

DM: Which is EXACTLY why you should be out there training in the wrestling ring, not in here training on Expert mode vocals on Rock Band. You all need to get up off your fucking asses, and get out there and get ready to defend these belts! Am I right?

S: YEAH!

AMN: FUCK YEAH!

Both of them get up and head towards the locker room door. The Amnesiac pats Fezzik on the back on his way out.

AMN: Take care of our boy there, Fezz.

Skurge and The Amnesiac leave the palatial IHOP locker room in a hurry. After they've left, Dorothy claps her hands together, as if wiping off dirt. She goes over and sits down at the Rock Band drum kit.

DM: That took a lot less effort than I thought it would.

Dorothy looks over to the bedridden SYB. She shrugs.

DM: What? That fucker Amnesiac has been hogging the drums all week!

*FADE TO BLACK*

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Sexy Female Journalist #41 is standing by with "The Main Event" Chris Cole.

SFJ: Chris, we haven't had the chance to talk with you lately. Why do you think you lost the OOWF Onslaught Title to Alexander Darling?

CC: Probably for that very reason. You take a couple weeks off from promoing and you end up jobbing and being pushed down the card.

Kayfabe screams

SFJ: Are you going to seek to regain the Onslaught Title?

CC: I burned my rematch at New Year's Evil already. I'm kind of bummed about losing the title to such a douchebag like Darling. I'm hoping that the prestige I brought back to the title continues on. If it looks like Darling is dragging the title down then I'll have to go back and save it. But for now I'm going to set my sights on another member of Run DEA, Firewoman.

SFJ: Firewoman?

CC: Yes. Nothing against Fire personally other then her questionable allegiances to all those bastars at Run DEA but she has something that I want. The Intercontinental Title. You see that title is the only belt I'm missing from being the second man to claim the Grand Slam. I was an award winning Tag Team Champion, I was the longest reigning OOWF World Heavyweight Champion*, and I brought the Onslaught Title back to its original prestige. Now I'm going to become the OOWF Intercontinental Champion by defeating another member of Run DEA.

SFJ: Speaking of Run DEA, what did you think of Davin Moreland losing the OOWF World Heavyweight Title to Eric O'Mac?

CC: I love every second of it. Eric & I have teamed up off and on over the last six months to a year so I wish him well. He has the talent and the charisma to be a great World Champion.

SFJ: You square off against Tytan this week.

CC: I do. His size and strength will be a matchup issue for me but I'm not a former World Champion for nothing. I'll be ready to slay the Giant come Wednesday Night.

SFJ: Thanks for your candor, Chris. Good luck this week.

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*Fear Us, belts slung over their shoulders, with FU clearly visible on the face plates, are standing by with Scheme Gene*

SG: Gentlemen, congratulations on winning the tag team championship at New Years Evil.

LD: Thanks, Gene. We've now accomplished one of our goals.

OBJ: And now we will defend these belts while collecting debts around the OOWF.

SG: Of course, you guys didn't actually pin the former champs to win those belts.

LD: We won according to the rules of the match, Gene.

SG: Still, I'm sure Phantos and Lucios will have something to say...

OBJ(drinks and belches): Australian for who cares, mate. I'm sure they'll get a rematch soon. We don't plan on ducking anyone. Besides, this was only a down payment on their debt.

SG: Well, speaking of debt, looks like your first defense is against the Heels.

LD: Maybe we can get a little bonus out of this. I'm sure they're behind in their payments to someone. This week at Mayhem their debts will be collected, and they will fear us!

*Scheme Gene nods and walks off*

OBJ: So should we get the belts fixed?

LDW: No, I think us wearing them this way will piss P&L off even more.

[Jack Quinn]

<The Loveley and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik, Monkh and the rest of IHOP are walking down the halls of the OOWF Arena. Fezzik is pushing SYB in his hospital bed, and they appear to be heading to the ring>

DM: Do you really think this is a good idea?

S: Look at this outpouring of fan mail we have received! <The Amnesiac and Skurge both hold up two large sacks of mail> We have to address the fans, eh?

DM: Ok, how could HE possibly receive that much mail in one day, and why is there a crowd in the Springfield Arena on a Monday when the show isn't until Wednesday?

TA: They are hardcore fans. Ok ready?

<The motley crue comes out to the top of the stage to a rousing ovation from the crowd. Dorothy Mantooth actually seems moved at the applause from the people. Skurge holds up a hand for them to get quiet, then he and The Amnesiac hold up their chimpionships and the place erupts again. They place SYB's share of the titles across his lap, and there are tears in the crowd>

S: We knew that the fans appreciated us. I finally know what love is really aboot!

<SYB mumbles something incoherent and rolls his eyes>

TA: Anyway, we wanted to read some of the cards we have received from you, the IHOP fans!

<The Amnesiac reaches into the bag and opens a card>

TA: "You better watch your back" Well, that is certainly a good piece of advice

<Skurge pulls a card out as well>

S: "The journey of a thousand beatings begins with a single punch." Wow, they should write for Hallmark, eh? Let's pick another one

TA: Ok, here's one "trust me" What the....

<with that, Moose, Poe and Seamus attack from behind with weapons. Poe SLAMS a chair into Fezzik's head, sending the big man down to the floor. Dorothy grabs Monkh and they flee the scene. The Amnesiac ducks a lead pipe swing from Seamus, but then catches a barbed wire bat right to the face from Moose. Poe grabs Skurge from behind and lifts him, and DRIVES him to the stage with a chokeslam, then he and Seamus put the boots to him. Moose looks over and sees SYB on the hospital bed, staring wide eyed with fear. Moose grabs the bed and starts pushing it toward the ramp, then with a final shove, lets it go. The bed rolls down the ramp, picking up speed as it goes, then SLAMS into the ring and flips over! SYB flies out of the bed and hits the floor hard. Moose gets and evil look in his eyes and heads down the ramp. SYB slowly gets to his feet grabbing his neck, or at least grabbing it as well as he can considering he is wearing a halo. SYB tries to flee, but Moose catches him with a punch to the gut, then grabs the halo and REPEATEDLY SHAKES SYB BACK AND FORTH! SYB goes limp like a rag doll and Moose tosses him to the floor! The crowd initially goes silent, then comes alive with boos. The fans look like their are about to riot as paramedics rush to ring side. Poe and Seamus grab Moose and rush him to the safety of the back>

[The Jewish Cunthead]

*OOC* Something tells me Moose has been dying to write that for a LONG time.

[Jack Quinn]

**OOC** that was one of my best memories from ECW, total mark out moment for me. Cemented Shane Douglas as one of the best heels EVER to me, just awesome. I always wanted Moose to do that, doing that to SYB is just a bonus

[Fire-Babe]

SMJ#1 wanders into the work out area, where Lucky, Firewoman, and Tyler Black are, coincidentally enough, working out. Except for Lucky.

SMJ#1: Firewoman, I need to get –

FW: Already?

SMJ#1: It’s a short week….

TB: Hey, can I do this?

FW: Sure. Hand him your mic and your card, sunshine.

SMJ#1: But… I don’t think I’m allowed—

Tyler takes them from him anyway, and shoos him away.

TB: I’m Tyler Black, here with YOUR Intercontinental Champion, Firewoman. Firewoman, that guy over there gave me this card with six names on it: Chris Cole, Spin Hansen, Tytan, Tyson, Poe, and Moose. I guess that means I’m supposed to ask you about them.

FW: Thank you for asking, Tyler. All six have expressed an interest in my Intercontinental Championship, or at least in doing me grave bodily harm. Well, let’s look at them in turn, shall we?

Through the magic of the OOWF production truck, each wrestler’s picture appears when he’s mentioned, surrounded by a flaming frame.

FW: First let’s talk about Tytan, who caved my skull in on Sunday, and still came up short. Tytan, maybe Rick was right to give us a week apart, because you were getting dangerously close to awakening a side of me that was supposed to be long buried. I don’t think you’d like the outcome of that very much. Heck, just ask Tyson. If you can find him. I swear, we should start calling him Mr. Wednesday Night.

TB: Is that a reference to RVD?

FW: Yeah, but not because Tyson can actually hold a candle to him in the ring. More like, he shows up, he wrestles his match, he leaves. You know Tyson and Tytan have more in common than just their names. They’re both merely puppets. They have no will of their own, but they’re controlled by someone else, who will make them dance, do their dirty work for them, and then let them go. I have a hard time respecting anyone in that position.

TB: Wow. Okay, what about Cole and Hansen.

FW: Totally different class. I can at least respect their work. Hansen….my respect for you is on record, and hasn’t changed. As for Cole……….well, RunDEA pretty much owns him, but I guess he’s not going to give up? That’s a good lesson for you kids out there. Never give up! Never surrender!

TB: Isn’t that from Galaxy Quest?

FW: Impressive….

TB: Okay, so let’s get to your dance partner this week, Moosehead Jack. I can legitimately say he’s one of the more violent competitors I’ve ever seen. Are you worried?

FW: Worried? *batistalaughs* Please…..

TB: But given your assorted alliances…. He’s taken Tyson under his wing, he’s been teaming lately with Poe, another potential enemy for you, with some history there—

Firewoman bristles at the name and mention of ‘history’

TB: Oops, sorry, forgot. But Poe is re-allied with Tytan, so therefore by the transitive properties of alliances, Moose is allied with Tytan. Either one of them could come down and help Moose out in a two-on-one, which would bring RunDEA down, and which would bring the rest of – It would start a new war within OOWF, easily.

Firewoman sits back on the weight bench for a minute and looks thoughtful, as if she hadn’t thought of that.

TB: What? What did I say?

FW: Huh? Uh, nothing…we’re done here. Lucky?

L: Yeah?

Firewoman grabs his clipboard and pen, scribbles a note on paper, folds it, and writes on the outside.

FW: Deliver this for me, okay?

L: Sure…..[he looks at the name on the note]……are you serious?

FW: Just do it, would you?

L: Okay……….

Lucky leaves. Firewoman and a somewhat confused Tyler grab their things and leave the gym.

[fasteddie]

(Tytan gets stopped on his morning run by Lola who has a lot to ask him.)

Tytan: Well babe, you might as well start firing away and this time keep up.

(She starts running with Tytan who is starting out slow trying to do a favor for the cameraman.)

Lola: Well, do you have any response to Firewoman for the comments she made?

Tytan: Simple. You talk about coming up short. First off who has the nice gash in their head? **stonecold throat clear*** That's right you. Who also didn't win the match **sstonecold throat clear*** that's right you! So you want to talk like you came out ahead on that match. Listen doll, the only way you came out ahead on that one is that you are still breathing.
You want to talk the game that the only reason Rick seperated us for the week is because you were so close to seeing a side of you that...blah..blah...blah...Fire your talk is getting so damn old! You sound just like the rest of the stupid cronies in the band of yours. You have threatened to hurt me...kill me...whatever and guess what? I AM STILL STANDING HERE! The only thing that has kept me from getting your belt is that I am too busy hurting you. So keep on running your mouth all you want just remember it ain't working!
Come on Lola time to pick up the pace....

(They do cameraman starts to fall a bit behind)

Lola: So what about burying the hatchet with Poe? And what is the deal with Moose?

Tytan: It's simple. We all hate RUN DEA they need to go. These guys that have all come together need to be on the same page. So Moose asked for us to do that and Ultimo Inc agreed. Enough said!

Lola: Now what about your next match with Cole?

Tytan: Cole, you are good. You brought some value back to the Onslaught title until the boy stole it from you. But you are getting me at the wrong time buddy, so it will be a good match but you may not like the results.

Come on Lola let's sprint this part.

(They start as the camera man gives up and walks away.)

(Fade)

[Riot Act]

Dec 29, 2008 23:10:05 GMT -5 Fire-Babe said:

Heck, just ask Tyson. If you can find him. I swear, we should start calling him Mr. Wednesday Night.

TB: Is that a reference to RVD?

FW: Yeah, but not because Tyson can actually hold a candle to him in the ring. More like, he shows up, he wrestles his match, he leaves.

*OOC* Hey, was that a shoot? Damnit, it's the holidays, I'm working non-stop to keep the drunks from killing each other and on top of that I've been sick as hell (among other things) for the last two weeks.

[Mr. Dashbee]

<The Nerds, fresh off of getting booted by Arn Anderson, are observed talking in the lockerroom by the OOWF camera crew.>

Nayr: Dude, what was the problem with Tyler Black.

Bryce Larson: He kept me from getting booked in ROH. Jealousy, I tells ya.

N: Jealousy? He's on top of the world, and you're in a tag team called Revenge of the Nerds.

BL: About that...

N: What? You want out now?

BL: Well...nah dude, no way. This team thing just might work out.

N: We've been getting into some higher profile matches because of it.

BL: Yeah, we nearly won the World Tag Team Titles...before you fucked it all up for us!

N: Me? How do you figure that?

BL: I got kicked in the head, and couldn't escape the cross face. Where were you to save me?

N: With my face buried in the concrete floor, that's where! Besides, you're the one who nearly got knocked out by a kick, and had to tap out!

BL: I GOT KICKED IN THE FUCKING HEAD!

N: Whatever, you tapped out like a little bitch.

BL: I'll make you tap out like a little bitch right now!

N: Whatever dude. You and I should really be worrying about Phantos & Lucios anyway.

BL: Yeah, and all their Run DEA buddies that could help out.

N: Not to mention that they're probably pissed about losing their titles, and losing to us the week before.

BL: No shit, Sherlock. Of course they're pissed! I'd be pissed, too.

N: Like how you're pissed at Tyler Black?

BL: Why do you have to bring that up again.

N: Because I know it pisses you off. Hey, I gotta go log-on to the wireless and play some World of Warcraft. Catch-up later?

BL: Yeah, later.

<Bryce & Nayr go their separate ways, and Bryce runs into GM The Rick in the hallway.>

GMTR: Bryce, just the man I wanted to see.

BL: You wanted to see me?

GMTR: Yeah, about the match you requested before the PPV.

BL: Right, have you made a decision.

GMTR: Well, Firewoman and Alexander Darling are kinda busy at the moment. So, right now I am taking it under advisement.

BL: Taking it under advisement? Okay. I guess I'll be waiting.

GMTR: Don't sweat it. You just tapped out, you'll bounce back!

<GMTR leaves, running to catch up to Nayr.>

BL: <Under his breath.> Fucker.

<Bryce overhears GM The Rick talking to Nayr.>

GMTR: ... so despite the loss, I've been really impressed with you. Good luck this week against Phantos & Lucios.

N: Thanks, Mr. The Rick. I really like it here, and you do a great job.

GMTR: You don't need to kiss my ass. Now go play your game, I'm headed back t my parents' basement.

<Bryce rolls his eyes and heads down the hallway, where he runs into Firewoman. She's alone, so Tyler Black must have fallen asleep (or is still tied up.)>

BL: Firewoman....I get no response to my challenge?

FW: Last I checked, you didn't challenge me. You asked GM The Rick for a match. So if he gives it to you, so be it. In case you haven't noticed, I've got other shit to deal with besides you.

BL: Well that attack was bullshit, and Run DEA's gang mentality is crap, too.

FW: You know what Bryce, I have no idea what the hell you're thinking sometimes. You keep putting yourself in position to get your ass kicked. You pick a midget for a partner--

BL: Technically, he's not a midget.

FW: Right, whatever. You pick an undersized partner, and you challenge groups with more members than you could ever take on. You've only been around here for a short time, but you've already gotten into some big matches.

BL: And?

FW: Well, I don't know if I should be impressed with your intestinal fortitude, or just be amazed at how stupid you are.

BL: You'll be impressed when I beat your ass.

FW: There you go again. Quite the temper, huh? I guess I'll leave it at half impressed at your guts and half amazed at your stupidity. But watch your back, Bryce. Because me, Alexander, Phantos & Lucios, we all have people watching ours.

BL: Yeah, whatever. <Getting sarcastic.> Hey, point taken, thanks!

<Firewoman shakes her head at Bryce's response, and takes off, presumably to wake up (or untie) Tyler Black. Bryce heads off to get a workout in.>

[Tommy]

*We cut to a hospital room, and quickly see Samantha Darling holding someone's hand. We can presume that it's former World Champion Davin Moreland; although you certainly couldn't verify it. He's in full traction, wearing a hard neck brace, and literally covered in bandages. There's a heart monitor beeping; 3 IVs dripping, and he's on a full oxygen mask. Apparently, we were supposed to be here for some sort of promo - but after about 60 seconds of this sad scene; we get a closer look at Samantha's face, her face clearly wet from tears. It's clear, there will be no promo today.*

*fade*

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

*In the Destroyitarium, LD Williams is working on a laptop, and looking rather frustrated. Outback Jack is drinking beer and belching.*

LD: I keep looking for footage of the Heels matches, but all I can find are promos.

OBJ: No worries, mate. If you can't find tape, there's always plan B.

LD: Kick their asses?

OBJ: Right. (drinks, belches) I almost got it that time.

LD: Almost got what?

OBJ: I'm working on saying "the transitive proprty of alliances" in Australian. It's a catchy phrase.

[Fire-Babe]

Dec 30, 2008 1:09:44 GMT -5 Riot Act said:

Dec 29, 2008 23:10:05 GMT -5 Fire-Babe said:

Heck, just ask Tyson. If you can find him. I swear, we should start calling him Mr. Wednesday Night.

TB: Is that a reference to RVD?

FW: Yeah, but not because Tyson can actually hold a candle to him in the ring. More like, he shows up, he wrestles his match, he leaves.

*OOC* Hey, was that a shoot? Damnit, it's the holidays, I'm working non-stop to keep the drunks from killing each other and on top of that I've been sick as hell (among other things) for the last two weeks.

*ooc* maybe a little one, but I also heard RVD didn't hang around RAW too much to stay away from 'locker room behavior' he didn't like, which what I've just been assuming in Kayfabe Tyson's deal is.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

Dec 30, 2008 2:56:02 GMT -5 Tommy said:

*We cut to a hospital room, and quickly see Samantha Darling holding someone's hand. We can presume that it's former World Champion Davin Moreland; although you certainly couldn't verify it. He's in full traction, wearing a hard neck brace, and literally covered in bandages. There's a heart monitor beeping; 3 IVs dripping, and he's on a full oxygen mask. Apparently, we were supposed to be here for some sort of promo - but after about 60 seconds of this sad scene; we get a closer look at Samantha's face, her face clearly wet from tears. It's clear, there will be no promo today.*

*fade*

Chris Cole & Harper Camby are watching OOWF TV Today

CC: Did that really just happen? Did the Darling's really authorize that promo trying to depict Davin Fucking Moreland as a tragic figure worthy of our sympathy?

Both: BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA HA!