2009 NFL Playoffs
Jan 1, 2009 20:51:23 GMT -5
Post by Mikey on Jan 1, 2009 20:51:23 GMT -5
Solly challenged me to write this in my Spotlight thread... so here it is.
THERE IS NO TOMORROW: THM’s Eye of the Tiger 2009 NFL Playoff Preview
Oh, and before we get started... for BRETT FAVRE:
You're not down, and you're not a loser. You're just a jealous…lazy…bum.
It's really hard to say this. I feel like, well... I thinking maybe it's time that I should, uh, step down maybe and... retire.
Charity really hurts.
Now... down to business...
WILD CARD GAMES
ATLANTA @ ARIZONA
Ya know, Stallion… it's too bad we gotta get old.
It’s too bad Kurt Warner had to get old, too. The season has worn him down, as he has not been near as effective since mid-November as he was early in the season, particularly against quality teams. He’s been better at home than on the road, so that’s a plus, but he can’t win this game on his own, and I’m not sure there’s enough ground game to keep the Atlanta defense honest.
I thought you said be cool. THAT WAS COOL!
Matt Ryan has been the epitome of cool this season. Nobody foresaw a rookie QB going into Atlanta and helping the Falcons turn things around from the Mike Vick and Bobby Petrino fiascos as quickly as this. Couple the arrival of Ryan with Michael Turner and Atlanta has a nice run/pass balance. Yes, the situation is cool in Atlanta, and the Falcons will advance.
ATLANTA 34-24
INDIANAPOLIS @ SAN DIEGO
But then, the worst thing happened to you that can happen to any fighter. You got civilized.
The worst thing happened to LaDainian Tomlinson that can happen to any running back: he’s getting old. He still has some gas in the tank, but he is no longer the gamebreaking machine he has been the last three seasons. This puts more of the offensive burden on Philip Rivers’ shoulders, who is capable of getting things done, but the Indy defense will be up to the challenge.
The Ultimate Male vs… the Ultimate Meatball.
Peyton Manning vs. Norv Turner. Or is it Norv Turner vs. Peyton Manning? The Chargers seem to have had the Colts number the past few seasons, including a big upset of the Colts in Indy last January. But this Chargers team isn’t as good as last year’s, and this year’s Colts team is better. Manning is fresher going into January than he probably has ever been and he’s been the key the Indy’s nine game winning streak heading into the playoffs.
INDIANAPOLIS 37-20
BALTIMORE @ MIAMI
They was good fighters, but they wasn't killers like this guy. He'll knock ya into tomorruhRock.
I will now list the playoff teams that the 11-win Dolphins defeated this year: San Diego. That’s it. Sure they beat New England handily in September in the breakout game for the Wildcat formation. And they beat the immortal BRETT FAVRE and the Jets to close the season. But they beat the Seahawks, Raiders, and 49ers by a combined nine points. They had to rally to beat the Chiefs and gave up 31 points in the process. Doesn’t this look like a team who benefitted from a fairly weak schedule? Does to me.
My mother hits harder than that.
She also throws harder than Chad Pennington. Nothing against Chad, who did an outstanding job keeping Miami competitive this year, but against this swarming Ravens defense, big plays will be key. Without a QB who can stretch the field, the Baltimore secondary can cheat in, thus limiting the big play potential from Ronnie Brown and the Miami wideouts on end arounds.
And the WAY to get it back is to go back to the beginning, youknowwhatimean?
The Ravens have got it back by going back to the beginning. Trent Dilfer wasn’t a Super Bowl caliber QB, but didn’t need to be with that defense and Jamal Lewis pounding it on the ground. Joe Flacco was throwing TD’s for DELAWARE a year ago. But he doesn’t lose games, leaving them in the competent hands of Willis McGahee, Ray Rice, Le’Ron McLain, and the Ray Lewis- led defense. This combination can equal playoff success. All of this said… I’m a homer.
MIAMI 16-13
PHILADELPHIA @ MINNESOTA
I'M AFRAID!!
You KNOW Vikings fans are yelling this at their spouses every time Tavaris Jackson drops back to pass.
CATCH ME!
And you KNOW the ball is saying this every time Tavaris Jackson throws it.
Every once in a while a person comes along who defies the odds, who defies logic, and fulfills an incredible dream. On behalf of all the citizens of Philadelphia, and the many who have been touched by your accomplishments and your untiring participation in this city's many charity functions, it is with tremendous honor that we present this memorial which will stand always as a celebration to the indomitable spirit of Man. Philadelphia salutes its favorite son…
DONOVAN MCNABB! I don’t know whether he’s underachieved in Philadelphia or whether the expectations for him were just overblown. Considering the idiot Eagles fans booed the choice, I don’t think their opinion matters anyway. But McNabb has somehow been a fantastic, yet oft-jeered leader for the team for ten seasons now and remains a topic of much discussion among the Philly fanbase. I don’t care… in this matchup, he’s not Tavaris Jackson.
Shut up, ya Sterno bums! I'll squash ya
What Andy Reid will be yelling at Vikings fans outside the hotel Saturday night.
PHILADELPHIA 30-13
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS
TENNESSEE vs. INDIANAPOLIS
You got me curious. You got me curious, Rock.
I’m curious to see whether the Titans are as good as they looked the first half of the season. They rolled Indy in their first meeting, and looked like the best team in football for two and a half months. Then they lost to the Jets at home and lost some of their swagger. Putting a good beating on the Steelers in Week 16 helped them gain some credibility back, but I’m still not quite sold on them. Even if Jeff Fisher is the best coach in the playoffs. I know Indy’s due to lose and are perennial choke artists in the playoffs, but…
Flick it, just flick it!
Or kick it, just kick it. Vinatieri will play a factor in this one, including the deciding point late in the football game
INDIANAPOLIS 19-17
CAROLINA vs. ATLANTA
You wanna be in the hospital for five weeks this time?
I don’t think anyone was in the hospital, but Atlanta doesn’t want the same result as their first meeting, and Carolina doesn’t want the same result as their last meeting. The two best teams in 2008’s toughest division know each other quite well, and those division rivalries are always that much more physical in January. This will be a slugfest. My prediction for this game…
Prediction…? Pain.
I’ll take Carolina’s two headed monster of Williams and Stewart over the Falcons combo of Turner and Norwood.
CAROLINA 24-20
NEW YORK vs. PHILADELPHIA
I am ranked number one. ONE! Which means I am the best!
And until someone knocks them off, the Giants are the team to beat in this year’s playoffs. Jacobs, Ward, and Bradshaw provide an unrelenting ground attack that can control time of possession, which, along with turnovers, is a critical stat come January. Even without Strahan and Osi, the Giants defense has gotten the job done when needed. They’ve lost 3 of their last 4, however, including once to the Eagles. Philly needed that one more than the Giants did, though.
You're parasites and leeches. Get outta here.
To the Philly fans. You win a title for the first time in 25 years in October. What would your insufferable asses be like with two titles?
NEW YORK 20-13
PITTSBURGH vs. MIAMI
Thunderlips is here… in the flesh, baby.
What I would pay to see Mike Tomlin stroll into a press conference and say this. Fisher may be the best coach in the playoffs, but Tomlin is undoubtedly the coolest. We need Tomlin to go all Jack Del Rio and coach in a suit… straight out of the Biggie Smalls collection. Pinstripe with cane, perhaps.
Don't give that sucka no statue, give him guts!
Announcers love to say how Ben Roethlisberger “just wins football games,” but I’m still not sold on the guy. Other than making the tackle on a guy with a stab wound in his leg, has Ben ever made a game changing play in a big game? I still think the Steelers got to and won Super Bowl XL in spite of him, and he’s just a big goofy looking bastard. Oh, and he’s dinged up. For the Steelers to win it all, there will be a moment in these playoffs, where’s he’s going to have to make a big play. May not be in this game (though if Indy or San Diego are playing them, it will be) but he’ll be called upon before the playoffs conclude. Pittsburgh has more then enough to get past Miami, though.
PITTSBURGH 26-10
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP
CAROLINA @ NEW YORK
Now, when you beat me, you beat me by one... ONE second. That's something that's very hard to handle for a man of my intelligence.
They played the regular season game of the year in Week 16. They will meet again in the Meadowlands to decide the NFC title. The game itself was practically the Rocky II finish, with the Giants having just a little more in the tank in overtime. If the Panthers are healthy here, they will beat the defending champs on their own turf. Mark it down.
We held the greatest title in the whole world, man.
Tom Coughlin has a Super Bowl ring. Tony Dungy has a Super Bowl ring. They’ve held the greatest title in the whole world, man. But Tennessee’s Fisher and Carolina’s John Fox are the best two coaches in the playoffs. I think it time for one of them to get another shot at the Lombardi Trophy, and since I got the Titans going down, it’s Carolina by default here.
CAROLINA 20-17
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP
INDIANAPOLIS @ PITTSBURGH
Apollo WHO? Oh, you talkin bout that old fool Apollo Creed? Just one hasbeen training another. He always be runnin off at the mouth, but when I see him, I'm gonna close it for him.
Seems like Dungy and Manning have been together forever, even though Dungy was in Tampa for a while and it was the immortal Jim Mora coaching Manning for his first five or so seasons. And while Dungy and Manning aren’t exactly the type to be runnin off at the mouth, the hard hitting Steelers would love to be the ones to put the Colts in their places once and for all. If I was a Pittsburgh fan, I’d still be irate over the 2006 playoff game in which the officiating crew gave Indy opportunity after opportunity to win the game. And the Steelers STILL won the game, but that’s how outrageous the refs were.
Dead meat.
I’ve changed my mind here. I originally had the Colts penciled in here, but after thinking about it, Addai is too fragile to deal with the Pittsburgh defense, and Manning having to carve up the Steelers at Heinz Field just has disaster written all over it. Not quite the 5 interception game in New England several years back, but a disaster nevertheless.
PITTSBURGH 30-13
SUPER BOWL XLIII
CAROLINA vs. PITTSBURGH
Heaven knows, I don't mind being involved with large numbers
Not as in points scored, but as in number of eyeballs watching the game. Pittsburgh will pop a big rating, and while the NFL would rather have the Giants here again, the game will pop a big rating, especially with the economy down. Maybe the biggest one ever, who knows.
Mick? MICK? MICK??? ASMHFRUDCNFHBDFDHSNC!!!
Nobody’s dying, but I’ll be speaking unintelligible words if the Panthers (or Dolphins for that matter) make the Super Bowl. Imagine my reaction if Steve Smith hauls in a 65 yard bomb, or if Williams breaks one for a long TD. I did laps around the house during the Panthers/Pats game in 2004. This would likely be the same.
Whatsdamattawidgeyou?
I’m a homer, that’s the matterwidme.
CAROLINA 27-24
See you next year. Thank God.
THERE IS NO TOMORROW: THM’s Eye of the Tiger 2009 NFL Playoff Preview
Oh, and before we get started... for BRETT FAVRE:
You're not down, and you're not a loser. You're just a jealous…lazy…bum.
It's really hard to say this. I feel like, well... I thinking maybe it's time that I should, uh, step down maybe and... retire.
Charity really hurts.
Now... down to business...
WILD CARD GAMES
ATLANTA @ ARIZONA
Ya know, Stallion… it's too bad we gotta get old.
It’s too bad Kurt Warner had to get old, too. The season has worn him down, as he has not been near as effective since mid-November as he was early in the season, particularly against quality teams. He’s been better at home than on the road, so that’s a plus, but he can’t win this game on his own, and I’m not sure there’s enough ground game to keep the Atlanta defense honest.
I thought you said be cool. THAT WAS COOL!
Matt Ryan has been the epitome of cool this season. Nobody foresaw a rookie QB going into Atlanta and helping the Falcons turn things around from the Mike Vick and Bobby Petrino fiascos as quickly as this. Couple the arrival of Ryan with Michael Turner and Atlanta has a nice run/pass balance. Yes, the situation is cool in Atlanta, and the Falcons will advance.
ATLANTA 34-24
INDIANAPOLIS @ SAN DIEGO
But then, the worst thing happened to you that can happen to any fighter. You got civilized.
The worst thing happened to LaDainian Tomlinson that can happen to any running back: he’s getting old. He still has some gas in the tank, but he is no longer the gamebreaking machine he has been the last three seasons. This puts more of the offensive burden on Philip Rivers’ shoulders, who is capable of getting things done, but the Indy defense will be up to the challenge.
The Ultimate Male vs… the Ultimate Meatball.
Peyton Manning vs. Norv Turner. Or is it Norv Turner vs. Peyton Manning? The Chargers seem to have had the Colts number the past few seasons, including a big upset of the Colts in Indy last January. But this Chargers team isn’t as good as last year’s, and this year’s Colts team is better. Manning is fresher going into January than he probably has ever been and he’s been the key the Indy’s nine game winning streak heading into the playoffs.
INDIANAPOLIS 37-20
BALTIMORE @ MIAMI
They was good fighters, but they wasn't killers like this guy. He'll knock ya into tomorruhRock.
I will now list the playoff teams that the 11-win Dolphins defeated this year: San Diego. That’s it. Sure they beat New England handily in September in the breakout game for the Wildcat formation. And they beat the immortal BRETT FAVRE and the Jets to close the season. But they beat the Seahawks, Raiders, and 49ers by a combined nine points. They had to rally to beat the Chiefs and gave up 31 points in the process. Doesn’t this look like a team who benefitted from a fairly weak schedule? Does to me.
My mother hits harder than that.
She also throws harder than Chad Pennington. Nothing against Chad, who did an outstanding job keeping Miami competitive this year, but against this swarming Ravens defense, big plays will be key. Without a QB who can stretch the field, the Baltimore secondary can cheat in, thus limiting the big play potential from Ronnie Brown and the Miami wideouts on end arounds.
And the WAY to get it back is to go back to the beginning, youknowwhatimean?
The Ravens have got it back by going back to the beginning. Trent Dilfer wasn’t a Super Bowl caliber QB, but didn’t need to be with that defense and Jamal Lewis pounding it on the ground. Joe Flacco was throwing TD’s for DELAWARE a year ago. But he doesn’t lose games, leaving them in the competent hands of Willis McGahee, Ray Rice, Le’Ron McLain, and the Ray Lewis- led defense. This combination can equal playoff success. All of this said… I’m a homer.
MIAMI 16-13
PHILADELPHIA @ MINNESOTA
I'M AFRAID!!
You KNOW Vikings fans are yelling this at their spouses every time Tavaris Jackson drops back to pass.
CATCH ME!
And you KNOW the ball is saying this every time Tavaris Jackson throws it.
Every once in a while a person comes along who defies the odds, who defies logic, and fulfills an incredible dream. On behalf of all the citizens of Philadelphia, and the many who have been touched by your accomplishments and your untiring participation in this city's many charity functions, it is with tremendous honor that we present this memorial which will stand always as a celebration to the indomitable spirit of Man. Philadelphia salutes its favorite son…
DONOVAN MCNABB! I don’t know whether he’s underachieved in Philadelphia or whether the expectations for him were just overblown. Considering the idiot Eagles fans booed the choice, I don’t think their opinion matters anyway. But McNabb has somehow been a fantastic, yet oft-jeered leader for the team for ten seasons now and remains a topic of much discussion among the Philly fanbase. I don’t care… in this matchup, he’s not Tavaris Jackson.
Shut up, ya Sterno bums! I'll squash ya
What Andy Reid will be yelling at Vikings fans outside the hotel Saturday night.
PHILADELPHIA 30-13
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS
TENNESSEE vs. INDIANAPOLIS
You got me curious. You got me curious, Rock.
I’m curious to see whether the Titans are as good as they looked the first half of the season. They rolled Indy in their first meeting, and looked like the best team in football for two and a half months. Then they lost to the Jets at home and lost some of their swagger. Putting a good beating on the Steelers in Week 16 helped them gain some credibility back, but I’m still not quite sold on them. Even if Jeff Fisher is the best coach in the playoffs. I know Indy’s due to lose and are perennial choke artists in the playoffs, but…
Flick it, just flick it!
Or kick it, just kick it. Vinatieri will play a factor in this one, including the deciding point late in the football game
INDIANAPOLIS 19-17
CAROLINA vs. ATLANTA
You wanna be in the hospital for five weeks this time?
I don’t think anyone was in the hospital, but Atlanta doesn’t want the same result as their first meeting, and Carolina doesn’t want the same result as their last meeting. The two best teams in 2008’s toughest division know each other quite well, and those division rivalries are always that much more physical in January. This will be a slugfest. My prediction for this game…
Prediction…? Pain.
I’ll take Carolina’s two headed monster of Williams and Stewart over the Falcons combo of Turner and Norwood.
CAROLINA 24-20
NEW YORK vs. PHILADELPHIA
I am ranked number one. ONE! Which means I am the best!
And until someone knocks them off, the Giants are the team to beat in this year’s playoffs. Jacobs, Ward, and Bradshaw provide an unrelenting ground attack that can control time of possession, which, along with turnovers, is a critical stat come January. Even without Strahan and Osi, the Giants defense has gotten the job done when needed. They’ve lost 3 of their last 4, however, including once to the Eagles. Philly needed that one more than the Giants did, though.
You're parasites and leeches. Get outta here.
To the Philly fans. You win a title for the first time in 25 years in October. What would your insufferable asses be like with two titles?
NEW YORK 20-13
PITTSBURGH vs. MIAMI
Thunderlips is here… in the flesh, baby.
What I would pay to see Mike Tomlin stroll into a press conference and say this. Fisher may be the best coach in the playoffs, but Tomlin is undoubtedly the coolest. We need Tomlin to go all Jack Del Rio and coach in a suit… straight out of the Biggie Smalls collection. Pinstripe with cane, perhaps.
Don't give that sucka no statue, give him guts!
Announcers love to say how Ben Roethlisberger “just wins football games,” but I’m still not sold on the guy. Other than making the tackle on a guy with a stab wound in his leg, has Ben ever made a game changing play in a big game? I still think the Steelers got to and won Super Bowl XL in spite of him, and he’s just a big goofy looking bastard. Oh, and he’s dinged up. For the Steelers to win it all, there will be a moment in these playoffs, where’s he’s going to have to make a big play. May not be in this game (though if Indy or San Diego are playing them, it will be) but he’ll be called upon before the playoffs conclude. Pittsburgh has more then enough to get past Miami, though.
PITTSBURGH 26-10
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP
CAROLINA @ NEW YORK
Now, when you beat me, you beat me by one... ONE second. That's something that's very hard to handle for a man of my intelligence.
They played the regular season game of the year in Week 16. They will meet again in the Meadowlands to decide the NFC title. The game itself was practically the Rocky II finish, with the Giants having just a little more in the tank in overtime. If the Panthers are healthy here, they will beat the defending champs on their own turf. Mark it down.
We held the greatest title in the whole world, man.
Tom Coughlin has a Super Bowl ring. Tony Dungy has a Super Bowl ring. They’ve held the greatest title in the whole world, man. But Tennessee’s Fisher and Carolina’s John Fox are the best two coaches in the playoffs. I think it time for one of them to get another shot at the Lombardi Trophy, and since I got the Titans going down, it’s Carolina by default here.
CAROLINA 20-17
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP
INDIANAPOLIS @ PITTSBURGH
Apollo WHO? Oh, you talkin bout that old fool Apollo Creed? Just one hasbeen training another. He always be runnin off at the mouth, but when I see him, I'm gonna close it for him.
Seems like Dungy and Manning have been together forever, even though Dungy was in Tampa for a while and it was the immortal Jim Mora coaching Manning for his first five or so seasons. And while Dungy and Manning aren’t exactly the type to be runnin off at the mouth, the hard hitting Steelers would love to be the ones to put the Colts in their places once and for all. If I was a Pittsburgh fan, I’d still be irate over the 2006 playoff game in which the officiating crew gave Indy opportunity after opportunity to win the game. And the Steelers STILL won the game, but that’s how outrageous the refs were.
Dead meat.
I’ve changed my mind here. I originally had the Colts penciled in here, but after thinking about it, Addai is too fragile to deal with the Pittsburgh defense, and Manning having to carve up the Steelers at Heinz Field just has disaster written all over it. Not quite the 5 interception game in New England several years back, but a disaster nevertheless.
PITTSBURGH 30-13
SUPER BOWL XLIII
CAROLINA vs. PITTSBURGH
Heaven knows, I don't mind being involved with large numbers
Not as in points scored, but as in number of eyeballs watching the game. Pittsburgh will pop a big rating, and while the NFL would rather have the Giants here again, the game will pop a big rating, especially with the economy down. Maybe the biggest one ever, who knows.
Mick? MICK? MICK??? ASMHFRUDCNFHBDFDHSNC!!!
Nobody’s dying, but I’ll be speaking unintelligible words if the Panthers (or Dolphins for that matter) make the Super Bowl. Imagine my reaction if Steve Smith hauls in a 65 yard bomb, or if Williams breaks one for a long TD. I did laps around the house during the Panthers/Pats game in 2004. This would likely be the same.
Whatsdamattawidgeyou?
I’m a homer, that’s the matterwidme.
CAROLINA 27-24
See you next year. Thank God.
