[Lucky]

Pun vs Figure Foreskin

[Outback Frito Pendejo]

Short people got no reason to live, but it is his house.

[Lucky]

You know... Pun DID quit the showdown and say mean things about it.

[Andy]

Twenty-eight months ago, I stood on the steps of the Punshouse.com, and began an unlikely journey to change the internet.

I did not run for Punster of the Year to fulfill some long-held ambition or because I believed it was somehow owed to me. I chose to run in this election – at this moment – because of what Dr. King called “the fierce urgency of now.” Because we are at a defining moment in our history. Our board is at war. Our threads are in peril. Our humor system is broken, the jokes are out of balance, our one-liners fail too many of our posters, and our queer jokes are in tatters.

At this defining moment, we cannot wait any longer for better queer jokes. We cannot wait to fix our rape material. We cannot wait for good jokes, and inside references, and punchlines we can count on. We cannot wait to halt substandard posts, and we cannot wait to elevate this board war.

I chose to run because I believed that the size of these challenges had outgrown the capacity of our broken and divided posts to solve them; because I believed that Punsters of every political stripe were hungry for a new kind of posts, posts that focused not just on how to rape but why we should, posts that focused on those values and ideals that we held in common as Punsters; posters that favored humor over decency, homosexual jokes over straight.

Most of all, I believed in the power of the Punshouse people to be the real agents of change on this messageboard – because we are not as divided as our posts suggest; because we are a scummy, horrendous people willing to shock and hit below the belt for future generations; and I was certain that if we could just mobilize our keyboards to challenge the humorless respect-junkies that dominate the board and challenge ourselves to reach for something better, there was no subject we couldn’t make jokes about – no person we couldn’t offend.

There are those who believe that on a board called "Pun's" that means you must vote for a man named "Pun." But the last thing we need on this messageboard is more of the same. Punisher's policies are what put us where we are today: a place where you can't even type the n-word. Go ahead. Try. You can't. This is not the time for censorship. This is the time for liberation of free speech. This is the time for people to be able to verbally cocksmack another poster when they're being a douche and not worry about them crying to Punisher who would dual-wield the titles of admin and punster of the year. We can't afford to give him this kind of power. One man can't be that powerful when he's proven time and time again that he can't be trusted with any kind of power. The time has come for change. Change we need. Change we can believe in.

There is a moment in the life of every messageboard when, if we are to make our mark on the internet, the spirit of change must break through

This is the moment.

This is our time.

And if you will stand with me against the dummy douchefuck Punisher – if you will stand for change so that our children have the same chance that somebody gave us; if you’ll stand to keep the dream alive for those who still hunger for opportunity and thirst for miscarriage humor; if you’re ready to stop settling for what the cynics tell you you must accept, and finally reach for what you know is possible, then we will win this round, we will win this election, we will change the course of history, and the real journey – to heal a board and repair the internet – will have truly begun.

Thank you.

[salmonjunkie]

YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

[The Canadian Content]

[Courtney]

Exalt to Foreskin. That was awesome.

[Pun]

Jan 25, 2009 22:55:15 GMT -5 Andy said:

Blah blah blah

You want censorship?

BAN!

[Tommy]

Jan 26, 2009 11:08:11 GMT -5 Pun said:

Jan 25, 2009 22:55:15 GMT -5 Andy said:

Blah blah blah

You want censorship?

BAN!

I thought you quit. ???

[Pun]

Don't question me!

BAN!

[Lucky]

A politician can never be held true to his word these days. Its a damn shame, is what it is.

Except, FF! CHANGE I BELIEVE IN!

[Pun]

Says the man who chose Jason Bay in the first round.

[Lucky]

That doesn't even have anything to do with this! See, everyone! Pun is deflecting from the true issues by throwing random insults at voters! Is this the sort of man you want to win?

[Demko]

Jan 26, 2009 2:38:17 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T!

Except, FF! CHANGE I BELIEVE IN!

If you believe that FF would ever give you change, give him a dollar bill. I guarantee you only get 3 quarters back.

[Pun]

Stop being bitter because I took your money.

[Moosehead Jack]

Jan 26, 2009 12:02:13 GMT -5 Lucky said:

That doesn't even have anything to do with this! See, everyone! Pun is deflecting from the true issues by throwing random insults at voters! Is this the sort of man you want to win?

yes

[Lucky]

Jan 26, 2009 12:03:21 GMT -5 Demko said:

Jan 26, 2009 2:38:17 GMT -5 salmonjunkie said:

YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T!

Except, FF! CHANGE I BELIEVE IN!

If you believe that FF would ever give you change, give him a dollar bill. I guarantee you only get 3 quarters back.

And how is that not change? I didn't say "exact change." Nor have we determined that there wasn't some sort of 25 cent donation made to his campaign. Or perhaps a processing fee.

But whatever it is, its clearly change.

[Byrntrigan]

Jan 26, 2009 11:58:19 GMT -5 Pun said:

Don't question me!

BAN!

Nate-

seriously. Chill the fuck out. It's a game. Don;t you think you are overreacting, just A LITTLE?

I'm making an impassioned please for Andy and Tommy. Don't let your pettiness get the best of you, please.

Do the RIGHT thing.

[salmonjunkie]

Jan 26, 2009 12:15:31 GMT -5 Lucky said:

Jan 26, 2009 12:03:21 GMT -5 Demko said:

BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T! BUT WE SHOULDN'T!


If you believe that FF would ever give you change, give him a dollar bill. I guarantee you only get 3 quarters back.

And how is that not change? I didn't say "exact change." Nor have we determined that there wasn't some sort of 25 cent donation made to his campaign. Or perhaps a processing fee.

Or a handjob.

[Lucky]

You can't argue the price.

[salmonjunkie]

I did. there was hagglling.

[Lucky]

Eh. I wanted him to save his energy. Plus I find its never a good idea to anger a person who is about to grab your penis.

[Byrntrigan]

Spoken like a man who has had an angry handjob.

[Pun]

Jan 26, 2009 12:57:01 GMT -5 Byrntrigan said:

Jan 26, 2009 11:58:19 GMT -5 Pun said:

Don't question me!

BAN!

Nate-

seriously. Chill the fuck out. It's a game. Don;t you think you are overreacting, just A LITTLE?

I'm making an impassioned please for Andy and Tommy. Don't let your pettiness get the best of you, please.

Do the RIGHT thing.

Now you are questioning me, too?

Damnit Byrne. I used to like you. Now you have a few days to think about what you just did to yourself.

[OpTard]

pun, i just wanted to say excellent use of the banning.

it's like i always say, personal gain is always a legitimate cause for banning.