MidWeek Mayhem (05/06) Live! From Hollywood, FL
May 6, 2009 9:04:56 GMT -5
Post by The Canadian Content on May 6, 2009 9:04:56 GMT -5
*Fade in to the not-even-close-to-palatial office of Sturdy Wings. SYB and Skurge are SITTING~! in child-sized plastic chairs, waiting for the woman they were told runs Sturdy Wings. A tall, lanky woman enters the room, and the meeting begins…
TLW: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.
SYB: In what way are we full of shit?
Skurge: Which one of us has the Ph.D?
TLW: F.Y.I., you're playing on this girl's court now, okay? So you're playing by her rules.
SYB: Are you the coach?
TLW: I am the coach. I'm the coach and I'm the point guard, I'm the two forwards, the center, and I'm the…other guard. I'm the entire organization.
Skurge: I…see. So look, why are we here, exactly?
TLW: You’re here for community service. You’re here to service your community.
SYB: Right. So what do we do now?
TLW: Well, you’re “Bigs.” We need to go meet your “Littles.”
*As they leave the office, Skurge turns to SYB and whispers so the tall, lanky woman can’t hear him…
Skurge: Well this is just fan-fucking-tastic. You know, Solly, this is all your fault, eh? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you could have managed not to punch MC theDick’s picture of Tommy Lasorda.
*SYB loses it and starts swinging at Skurge…
Skurge: Whoa, whoa, whoa, shitdick. Ease up!
SYB: Hate…Lasorda…so…much.
Skurge: Well that’s no reason to swing at me. Save it for the Cowpokes.
TLW: You jokers about done? I’ve got your Littles ready to meet you. Skurge, your little is…Hornswoggle.
Skurge: What the fu–
TLW: And Solly, your Little is…Nate Corbitt.
SYB: Wait, why do I get the smaller one?
Skurge: Look, lady – these aren’t kids, they’re midgets.
TLW: They’re Littles, you’re Bigs. Deal with it.
SYB: Yeah, but–
TLW: Hey, I’m not here to service you. I’m here to service these boys.
Skurge: …
SYB: …
TLW: Now, let’s go over the ground rules. This is a perfectly acceptable hug between a Little and a Big. *Hugging Nate regularly* This is not. *Hugging Nate from behind*
SYB: Well, obviously we're not supposed to buttfuck these midgets.
TLW: Are you guys going to take this seriously?
Skurge: That doesn’t seem very likely, now that you mention it.
TLW: Well, I hold your futures in the OOWF in my hands.
SYB: Wait, are you saying you can put in a good word with GYN thePrick to help get us our Chimpionships back?
TLW: Me and theRick have a special relationship. I don't wanna get too graphic, but I sucked his dick for drugs. You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.
SYB: What did you have for dinner?
Skurge: Was it cocaine?
TLW: Actually, I–
Skurge: Alright, let’s just do this shit and get our Chimpionships back.
SYB: What should we do with them first?
Skurge: Dunno. Maybe take them oot for breakfast? I haven’t had any bacon yet today.
SYB: Breakfast? Sounds expensive. Can’t we just take them to a park or something?
Skurge: Jesus, you’re cheap. Breakfast. I’ll pay. Let’s go.
*Skurge and SYB leave Sturdy Wings with their Littles, Hornswoggle and Nate Corbitt, who exchange a look of mischief as we…
*FADE*
TLW: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.
SYB: In what way are we full of shit?
Skurge: Which one of us has the Ph.D?
TLW: F.Y.I., you're playing on this girl's court now, okay? So you're playing by her rules.
SYB: Are you the coach?
TLW: I am the coach. I'm the coach and I'm the point guard, I'm the two forwards, the center, and I'm the…other guard. I'm the entire organization.
Skurge: I…see. So look, why are we here, exactly?
TLW: You’re here for community service. You’re here to service your community.
SYB: Right. So what do we do now?
TLW: Well, you’re “Bigs.” We need to go meet your “Littles.”
*As they leave the office, Skurge turns to SYB and whispers so the tall, lanky woman can’t hear him…
Skurge: Well this is just fan-fucking-tastic. You know, Solly, this is all your fault, eh? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you could have managed not to punch MC theDick’s picture of Tommy Lasorda.
*SYB loses it and starts swinging at Skurge…
Skurge: Whoa, whoa, whoa, shitdick. Ease up!
SYB: Hate…Lasorda…so…much.
Skurge: Well that’s no reason to swing at me. Save it for the Cowpokes.
TLW: You jokers about done? I’ve got your Littles ready to meet you. Skurge, your little is…Hornswoggle.
Skurge: What the fu–
TLW: And Solly, your Little is…Nate Corbitt.
SYB: Wait, why do I get the smaller one?
Skurge: Look, lady – these aren’t kids, they’re midgets.
TLW: They’re Littles, you’re Bigs. Deal with it.
SYB: Yeah, but–
TLW: Hey, I’m not here to service you. I’m here to service these boys.
Skurge: …
SYB: …
TLW: Now, let’s go over the ground rules. This is a perfectly acceptable hug between a Little and a Big. *Hugging Nate regularly* This is not. *Hugging Nate from behind*
SYB: Well, obviously we're not supposed to buttfuck these midgets.
TLW: Are you guys going to take this seriously?
Skurge: That doesn’t seem very likely, now that you mention it.
TLW: Well, I hold your futures in the OOWF in my hands.
SYB: Wait, are you saying you can put in a good word with GYN thePrick to help get us our Chimpionships back?
TLW: Me and theRick have a special relationship. I don't wanna get too graphic, but I sucked his dick for drugs. You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.
SYB: What did you have for dinner?
Skurge: Was it cocaine?
TLW: Actually, I–
Skurge: Alright, let’s just do this shit and get our Chimpionships back.
SYB: What should we do with them first?
Skurge: Dunno. Maybe take them oot for breakfast? I haven’t had any bacon yet today.
SYB: Breakfast? Sounds expensive. Can’t we just take them to a park or something?
Skurge: Jesus, you’re cheap. Breakfast. I’ll pay. Let’s go.
*Skurge and SYB leave Sturdy Wings with their Littles, Hornswoggle and Nate Corbitt, who exchange a look of mischief as we…
*FADE*