Another 2Truths/1Lie
May 11, 2009 2:46:55 GMT -5
Post by creepy on May 11, 2009 2:46:55 GMT -5
The Throat Killer 2 Truths and 1 Lie.
1. I wasn't a very good offensive lineman in Middle School. I was on the B Team and I was a starter. I also started on the defensive line. And special teams. I kicked alot of ass-----on the B Team. I didn't hang out with alot of the A team guys because I either didn't go to the same elementary school as they did or they were dumber then me or they were smarter then me. I just didn't know them. This guy Brian was smarter than me. He also didn't go to the same elementary school as me. He was also the A team starting quarterback. He didn't know me, and I didn't know him. So what he did, and what my reaction was was a little odd.
He jumped on my back and would not get off. At first, I just laughed it off, but then I told him to get off of my back. Then, I told him to "get the fuck off". He did not get off of my back. So I rammed myself up against a brick wall. He fell off. So I thought it was over, but Mr. A Team thought he'd still, I dunno, fuck with me. He got in a fighting stance (I never found out why he did any of this) and threw a punch. I was stunned and startled. I didn't start fights and I rarely ended them up to that point in my life. This guy was just acting like a little bitch and goading me into a fight. I asked "What, exactly, are you doing?" to which I got a response of another punch thrown to my face.
I had no idea what to do. So I weighed my options. I could just walk away. Fuck that, I thought. He started it, so I might as well pummel the little fucker. I looked at him and sized him up and wondered where I could throw a punch. He was wearing full quarterback protection, including face mask and rib/gut protector. His only open body parts open to attack were his shins and his throat. If you've been paying any kind of attention, you know what I did.
I punched this motherfucker hard in the throat. Real hard. He went down gasping for air and one of his starting A team lineman got in my face (he was cheering on his QB up until then) and the starting A team running back came to my defense and got in the OL's face. You didn't fuck with Anthony Kneirem. Bryce backed down quick, even having 60 pounds and 6 inches on Anthony. Nothing happened after this regarding the fiasco. It was never mentioned again.
This, by the way, was the same Bryce that years later was drunkdriving an open jeep on someones property and flipped it and it landed on a friend of mine that was riding in the jeep and sent her to the hospital with spleen damage. She almost died. A few years after that, he fell asleep driving my friend Nick home from a bar and ran off of the road and Nick ended up being thrown from the car and he died. This was years after highschool and I had just talked to Nick a week prior and he was going to work with me at the Liquor store where I had taken over for his brother.
I always hated Bryce, and now I have two legit reasons.
2. There is this place south of Dallas called Scarborough Faire. It's a Renaissance Festival sort of thing. In the Spring, it's does the Medievel thing and in the Fall it does the Haunted Grounds thing. So, back in the late 90's one year, I went to it with my girlfriend at the time and another friend. We went to Haunted Houses, Scary Scenes acted out and a Haunted Hay Ride. When the Hay Ride was over, I started looking at a Troll at the exit of the Hay Ride. It looked exactly like a garden gnome. I pointed to my friends that it looked really real when, all of the sudden, IT CAME ALIVE! It was a little dude dressed like a little gnome dude! I jumped about 3 feet in the air and when I landed I panicked and did something stupid. I chopped it in the throat. We had just seen Austin Powers earlier that year and Judo Chopped everything and for some reason, I thought this was something acceptable to do in this situation. I was, obviously, wrong. We got immediately kicked out of the Fairgrounds and was told we were lucky that we didn't get the cops called on us. I've never been back to that place, regardless of the season. I also now hate gnomes/dwarves/trolls/midgets/Joe C.
3. I was hanging out at my friends Stan's house one night. His parents were gone and there was about 8 of us chilling out and drinking and enjoying the pool and hot tub. This was in 2001, the greatest/worst year of my life. For some reason, Stan and this guy Danny, who was on steroids, started chasing me around the pool for reasons either never known or forgotten. I reached the gate and couldn't get it open. With the two guys barreling down on me, I did what any rasslin' fan would do in that situation. I threw up my foot sideways in a Superkick motion. I caught Stan square in the throat. Not the upper chest. Not the chin. But in the thoat. He had difficulty breathing the rest of the night and had to have his girlfriend help him up to his room and then back to his apartment later that night (Side note: I fucked her in December of that year after they broke up) I always felt bad about the Superkick, but I thought it was more funny then anything (Kinda felt bad about banging Erica, too, but he broke up with her, so I figured she was fair game).
So, which one is true? Which is the lie?
1. I wasn't a very good offensive lineman in Middle School. I was on the B Team and I was a starter. I also started on the defensive line. And special teams. I kicked alot of ass-----on the B Team. I didn't hang out with alot of the A team guys because I either didn't go to the same elementary school as they did or they were dumber then me or they were smarter then me. I just didn't know them. This guy Brian was smarter than me. He also didn't go to the same elementary school as me. He was also the A team starting quarterback. He didn't know me, and I didn't know him. So what he did, and what my reaction was was a little odd.
He jumped on my back and would not get off. At first, I just laughed it off, but then I told him to get off of my back. Then, I told him to "get the fuck off". He did not get off of my back. So I rammed myself up against a brick wall. He fell off. So I thought it was over, but Mr. A Team thought he'd still, I dunno, fuck with me. He got in a fighting stance (I never found out why he did any of this) and threw a punch. I was stunned and startled. I didn't start fights and I rarely ended them up to that point in my life. This guy was just acting like a little bitch and goading me into a fight. I asked "What, exactly, are you doing?" to which I got a response of another punch thrown to my face.
I had no idea what to do. So I weighed my options. I could just walk away. Fuck that, I thought. He started it, so I might as well pummel the little fucker. I looked at him and sized him up and wondered where I could throw a punch. He was wearing full quarterback protection, including face mask and rib/gut protector. His only open body parts open to attack were his shins and his throat. If you've been paying any kind of attention, you know what I did.
I punched this motherfucker hard in the throat. Real hard. He went down gasping for air and one of his starting A team lineman got in my face (he was cheering on his QB up until then) and the starting A team running back came to my defense and got in the OL's face. You didn't fuck with Anthony Kneirem. Bryce backed down quick, even having 60 pounds and 6 inches on Anthony. Nothing happened after this regarding the fiasco. It was never mentioned again.
This, by the way, was the same Bryce that years later was drunkdriving an open jeep on someones property and flipped it and it landed on a friend of mine that was riding in the jeep and sent her to the hospital with spleen damage. She almost died. A few years after that, he fell asleep driving my friend Nick home from a bar and ran off of the road and Nick ended up being thrown from the car and he died. This was years after highschool and I had just talked to Nick a week prior and he was going to work with me at the Liquor store where I had taken over for his brother.
I always hated Bryce, and now I have two legit reasons.
2. There is this place south of Dallas called Scarborough Faire. It's a Renaissance Festival sort of thing. In the Spring, it's does the Medievel thing and in the Fall it does the Haunted Grounds thing. So, back in the late 90's one year, I went to it with my girlfriend at the time and another friend. We went to Haunted Houses, Scary Scenes acted out and a Haunted Hay Ride. When the Hay Ride was over, I started looking at a Troll at the exit of the Hay Ride. It looked exactly like a garden gnome. I pointed to my friends that it looked really real when, all of the sudden, IT CAME ALIVE! It was a little dude dressed like a little gnome dude! I jumped about 3 feet in the air and when I landed I panicked and did something stupid. I chopped it in the throat. We had just seen Austin Powers earlier that year and Judo Chopped everything and for some reason, I thought this was something acceptable to do in this situation. I was, obviously, wrong. We got immediately kicked out of the Fairgrounds and was told we were lucky that we didn't get the cops called on us. I've never been back to that place, regardless of the season. I also now hate gnomes/dwarves/trolls/midgets/Joe C.
3. I was hanging out at my friends Stan's house one night. His parents were gone and there was about 8 of us chilling out and drinking and enjoying the pool and hot tub. This was in 2001, the greatest/worst year of my life. For some reason, Stan and this guy Danny, who was on steroids, started chasing me around the pool for reasons either never known or forgotten. I reached the gate and couldn't get it open. With the two guys barreling down on me, I did what any rasslin' fan would do in that situation. I threw up my foot sideways in a Superkick motion. I caught Stan square in the throat. Not the upper chest. Not the chin. But in the thoat. He had difficulty breathing the rest of the night and had to have his girlfriend help him up to his room and then back to his apartment later that night (Side note: I fucked her in December of that year after they broke up) I always felt bad about the Superkick, but I thought it was more funny then anything (Kinda felt bad about banging Erica, too, but he broke up with her, so I figured she was fair game).
So, which one is true? Which is the lie?
