USW, eh? is live! The Cowtown Showdown!
Jul 4, 2009 2:19:56 GMT -5
Post by Demko on Jul 4, 2009 2:19:56 GMT -5
Stu Hart stands in the middle of the ring, showing his authority over the promotion, and announcing the card for the upcoming PPV.
Hart: Upper Saskatchewan Wrestling, Eh? (USW, Eh?) is prood to bring to you, live(~!) from Calgary, Alberta, Canada...
(On the Hoser-tron behind Mr. Hart) -
THE COWTOWN SHOWDOWN!
Hart: The opening boot will be a "Why the hell are we even here" Battle Royale.
(A list of the participants appears behind Mr. Hart) -
"Road Dogg" Jesse James
Lance Hoyt
Koko B. Ware
Kevin "K-Fed" Federline
The Renegade
"Fake Razor Ramon" Rick Bogner
Hart: The match will occur under elimination rules. Each competitor in the match can only be eliminated by pinfall. There will be no over-the-top rope Battle Royales here!
(Hart pauses briefly, reviewing his notes. The crowd seems uninterested.)
Hart: The next matchup will pit redneck vs. yokel, where Hillbilly Jim will take on Festus in a hog-pen match. Chuck Norris will be the guest enforcer.
(The crowd looks a little unsettled, and start actively booing.)
Crowd: This is bullshit! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)
(Hart tries to settle the crowd.)
Hart: Okay, okay, I can see that you're not interested in oor undercard. Let's talk aboot a few champions we need to crowd here in Canada, eh?
(The crowd goes silent.)
Hart: So, firstly, we're going to need oorselves an Intercontinental champion. So we've picked up a few wrestlers from aroond North America to fight for the honor of being USW, eh?'s first ever Intercontinental Champion. The fight for the title will be a three-way dance.
(On the Hoser-tron) - Adam Pearce vs. Evan Karagias vs. Justin Credible (w/Dawn Marie)
(The crowd warms up a bit, cheering the list of competitors in the match.)
Hart: Next up is a grudge match, pitting Bully against bully. The winner of this match will be acknowledged as the biggest bully in the USW, eh?
(On the Hoser-tron) - Big Bully Busick vs. Luther Reigns
(The crowd boos as both pictures show up on the tron.)
Hart: The Canadian Title is the top honor here in the USW, eh? And the next matchup will be for the USW, eh Canadian Championship. This will also be a three-way Dance. The first competitor in this match is one of my brightest students. He also happens to be my son. He is, Owen Hart!
(A picture of Owen shows up on the Hoser-tron. The crowd goes ballistic, cheering loudly for one of Canada's favorite sons.)
Hart: And his opponent in the match will be none other than one of my other sons, Bret "The Hitman" Hart!
(Bret's photo shows up on the Hoser-tron, and the crowd's cheering gets even louder.)
Hart: And finally, the last competitor in this bout was also a shining student of mine, Mr. Canada himself, Lance Storm!
(Lance's smiling face shows up on the Hoser-tron, and the crowd goes ballistic.)
Hart: The Canadian title will always be defended under the same rules during every match. The title must be won by pinfall, although those pinfalls can occur anywhere, as long as it's on Canadian territory.
(The crowd, oot of pure Canadian pride, blows the roof off of the arena.)
Hart: And the main event of The Cowtown Showdown will be a Tag Team Tournament that will occur over the course of the evening. The following tag-teams will participate, within the following-
(Suddenly, the music of the nWo plays over the loud speakers. Stu Hart looks around, confused. On the entryway stand Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Louie Spicolli. Nash has a mic.)
Nash: Hey hey hey... alright, let's settle down people. We're here to 'announce' a little something to you, old man. The guy standing to my left is my tag team partner, Scott Hall. Together, we are the Outsiders, one of the best tag teams in the known world. We've come here to your little po-dunk Canadian federation to liven up the place a bit, since it seems that all you've got around here are goddamn Canadians.
(The crowd boos. Hall takes the mic.)
Hall: I guess I don't even need to take a poll here to see which side you guys are on. But let me tell you all something. We've never been in a wrestling promotion where we didn't hold the tag team titles. So here's some information for you, Mr. Hart. We ARE the USW's first Tag Team Champions.
(We go to commercial.)
Hart: Upper Saskatchewan Wrestling, Eh? (USW, Eh?) is prood to bring to you, live(~!) from Calgary, Alberta, Canada...
(On the Hoser-tron behind Mr. Hart) -
THE COWTOWN SHOWDOWN!
Hart: The opening boot will be a "Why the hell are we even here" Battle Royale.
(A list of the participants appears behind Mr. Hart) -
"Road Dogg" Jesse James
Lance Hoyt
Koko B. Ware
Kevin "K-Fed" Federline
The Renegade
"Fake Razor Ramon" Rick Bogner
Hart: The match will occur under elimination rules. Each competitor in the match can only be eliminated by pinfall. There will be no over-the-top rope Battle Royales here!
(Hart pauses briefly, reviewing his notes. The crowd seems uninterested.)
Hart: The next matchup will pit redneck vs. yokel, where Hillbilly Jim will take on Festus in a hog-pen match. Chuck Norris will be the guest enforcer.
(The crowd looks a little unsettled, and start actively booing.)
Crowd: This is bullshit! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)
(Hart tries to settle the crowd.)
Hart: Okay, okay, I can see that you're not interested in oor undercard. Let's talk aboot a few champions we need to crowd here in Canada, eh?
(The crowd goes silent.)
Hart: So, firstly, we're going to need oorselves an Intercontinental champion. So we've picked up a few wrestlers from aroond North America to fight for the honor of being USW, eh?'s first ever Intercontinental Champion. The fight for the title will be a three-way dance.
(On the Hoser-tron) - Adam Pearce vs. Evan Karagias vs. Justin Credible (w/Dawn Marie)
(The crowd warms up a bit, cheering the list of competitors in the match.)
Hart: Next up is a grudge match, pitting Bully against bully. The winner of this match will be acknowledged as the biggest bully in the USW, eh?
(On the Hoser-tron) - Big Bully Busick vs. Luther Reigns
(The crowd boos as both pictures show up on the tron.)
Hart: The Canadian Title is the top honor here in the USW, eh? And the next matchup will be for the USW, eh Canadian Championship. This will also be a three-way Dance. The first competitor in this match is one of my brightest students. He also happens to be my son. He is, Owen Hart!
(A picture of Owen shows up on the Hoser-tron. The crowd goes ballistic, cheering loudly for one of Canada's favorite sons.)
Hart: And his opponent in the match will be none other than one of my other sons, Bret "The Hitman" Hart!
(Bret's photo shows up on the Hoser-tron, and the crowd's cheering gets even louder.)
Hart: And finally, the last competitor in this bout was also a shining student of mine, Mr. Canada himself, Lance Storm!
(Lance's smiling face shows up on the Hoser-tron, and the crowd goes ballistic.)
Hart: The Canadian title will always be defended under the same rules during every match. The title must be won by pinfall, although those pinfalls can occur anywhere, as long as it's on Canadian territory.
(The crowd, oot of pure Canadian pride, blows the roof off of the arena.)
Hart: And the main event of The Cowtown Showdown will be a Tag Team Tournament that will occur over the course of the evening. The following tag-teams will participate, within the following-
(Suddenly, the music of the nWo plays over the loud speakers. Stu Hart looks around, confused. On the entryway stand Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Louie Spicolli. Nash has a mic.)
Nash: Hey hey hey... alright, let's settle down people. We're here to 'announce' a little something to you, old man. The guy standing to my left is my tag team partner, Scott Hall. Together, we are the Outsiders, one of the best tag teams in the known world. We've come here to your little po-dunk Canadian federation to liven up the place a bit, since it seems that all you've got around here are goddamn Canadians.
(The crowd boos. Hall takes the mic.)
Hall: I guess I don't even need to take a poll here to see which side you guys are on. But let me tell you all something. We've never been in a wrestling promotion where we didn't hold the tag team titles. So here's some information for you, Mr. Hart. We ARE the USW's first Tag Team Champions.
(We go to commercial.)
