[Fire-Babe]

So, as many of you know, I've been working with the local police department, going through their reports to determine exactly how many violent crimes are gang related.

This has given me a ridiculously high security clearance, and I've had access to intelligence memos, evidence records, keys to the facility, etc. All without... a background check.

Until yesterday, when, after TWO FULL MONTHS of this, I'm handed a sixteen page "Personal History Questionnaire." Apparently at some point, someone said, "Hey... I wonder if she's a terrorist?"

So, I'm going through this, answering questions, and I come to one I'm not sure how to answer. There's a section titled "General Information Inquiry" and it's basically asking you about past bad behavior, like crimes and drug use. All of these are fairly easy to answer, except the second to last one...

"Have you ever engaged in any grossly unnatural sex acts?" Yes/No

(Yes answers have to be explained...)

[The Jewish Cunthead]

Who decides the standards for grossly unnatural?

[Eric O'Mac]

I do.

Looking at the same and/or the opposite sex is grossly unnatural.

[Mikey]

The answer is "no." And if it's a lie, how is anyone gonna know?

[Pun]

Well, it's "no" to them. I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we'd all like to know the "yes" answer. ;D

[Deleted]

Fire: from what I know of your "preferences", I would answer that question as a "no". For whatever reason (from what I've heard and personally encountered), the 3 most sexually deviant professions among women are teachers, nurses, and cops.

You're not into kids. You're not into animals. From what I know, you're not into scat. I think you can safely answer "no".

[Fire-Babe]

Oh, I'm totally answering "no." No matter what

I thought the question was funny, and my first thought was "I gotta post this at PH."

Pun: read my spotlight.

[Byrntrigan]

Yeah. I'd answer yes.

and then explain in excruciating detail everything. You'll be a hero or let go. Either way they'll chalk it up to "liberal arts PH.d teacher"

[Habs]

Byrnie, you crack me up, doing it doggy style isn't THAT deviant