2 Truths/1 Lie
Oct 20, 2009 4:33:50 GMT -5
Post by creepy on Oct 20, 2009 4:33:50 GMT -5
I actually have two of these, but I guess I'll share my Middle School football 2 Truths/1 Lie next time. No idea if people still like these (or if they ever did), but fuck it. Here's another one because I'm bored.
So, I used to work room service for a nice hotel. It had a family atmosphere so there were always kids around. And kids are weird. They do weird things and make you feel weird if you do something inappropiate in front of them instead of feeling just embarrassed. Case in point, at least one of the truths is me doing something really creepy in front of a kid(s).
Two of these are true, one of these is false. Pick the Lie!
1. I usually don't know what to say around kids. I like kids sometimes, but sometimes I'd rather not have to interact with them. Especially when something happens and it looks and might feel creepy, but is totally misunderstood and harmless. Which brings me to the first truth/lie. I was about to enter a room when 4 or 5 little 8 (?) year old kids came out of the room next door to mine wearing fancy dresses like they were at a wedding and started asking me all sorts of questions like "What do you have?", "Can I have some?", "Do you like your job?", and stuff like that. The ringleader of the group, seeing that I'm answering these questions in a deadpan expression and could tell I wasn't all that into talking to a bunch of little girls then said: "We'll leave you alone if you just tell us that we look pretty." "Girls," I said, "you look pretty in those dresses." Then I went into the room I had to go in.
End of story? Nope. 5 minutes later when I left the room, I saw the little girls down the hall with an adult lady that I would soon find out was the ringleaders mother because the ringleader girl tugs on the lady's arm and points to me and says "Mommy, mommy, there's the guy that thinks we look pretty!" I turned the other way and ignored this, thoroughly embarrassed. Not sure what the lady thought of any of this and I'm glad I didn't see them again.
2. Sometimes, a split second decision leaves you feeling creepy and you wish you could take it back, but unfortunately, you can't, as seen here. I was walking down the hall and had to give my balls a tug as I had some crotchal weirdness going on. Before I readjusted, I looked down the hall one way and didn't see anyone and then the other way and the coast was all clear to give my balls a fresh start at feeling comfortable. As I was walking down the hall with my right hand holding a tray, and my left hand grabbing my crotch and setting it straight, I looked over and made eye contact with a little 8 (again, not sure how old she was but she looked
year old as I walked past her open door. She was just laying on the bed watching TV and looked over at me just in time to catch a glimpse of me rubbing my balls. I still feel creepy as fuck about that.
3. This last point isn't about pretty little girls or balls but about me leaving food in a middle aged mans room and puking on him. I had eaten some burritos with extra salsa and then chugged an energy drink right after and then took the order up. I was feeling a little quesy as I went upstairs, but I have a stomach of steel, so I figured I'd be good. I was wrong. As I entered the guys room I felt real green because it was a smoking room and I had quit smoking about a year earlier. I dropped the tray, breaking glass and spilling liquid and food all over the guys bed and got puke on his shoes and suitcase. It was fucking disgusting. I apologized about 60 fucking times and called housekeeping immediately while still having puke breath and feeling gross. This guy was not pleased at all, but I guess he coulda been a dick about it. I'm sure most people woulda been. He ended up getting a free weekend stay and all of his laundary done for free and an upgrade to a suite. I got yelled at a little bit and then laughed at a whole lot.
So, which is it? Being a pedo, being a pedo, or barfing on an old dude? Pick the lie. You got a week.
So, I used to work room service for a nice hotel. It had a family atmosphere so there were always kids around. And kids are weird. They do weird things and make you feel weird if you do something inappropiate in front of them instead of feeling just embarrassed. Case in point, at least one of the truths is me doing something really creepy in front of a kid(s).
Two of these are true, one of these is false. Pick the Lie!
1. I usually don't know what to say around kids. I like kids sometimes, but sometimes I'd rather not have to interact with them. Especially when something happens and it looks and might feel creepy, but is totally misunderstood and harmless. Which brings me to the first truth/lie. I was about to enter a room when 4 or 5 little 8 (?) year old kids came out of the room next door to mine wearing fancy dresses like they were at a wedding and started asking me all sorts of questions like "What do you have?", "Can I have some?", "Do you like your job?", and stuff like that. The ringleader of the group, seeing that I'm answering these questions in a deadpan expression and could tell I wasn't all that into talking to a bunch of little girls then said: "We'll leave you alone if you just tell us that we look pretty." "Girls," I said, "you look pretty in those dresses." Then I went into the room I had to go in.
End of story? Nope. 5 minutes later when I left the room, I saw the little girls down the hall with an adult lady that I would soon find out was the ringleaders mother because the ringleader girl tugs on the lady's arm and points to me and says "Mommy, mommy, there's the guy that thinks we look pretty!" I turned the other way and ignored this, thoroughly embarrassed. Not sure what the lady thought of any of this and I'm glad I didn't see them again.
2. Sometimes, a split second decision leaves you feeling creepy and you wish you could take it back, but unfortunately, you can't, as seen here. I was walking down the hall and had to give my balls a tug as I had some crotchal weirdness going on. Before I readjusted, I looked down the hall one way and didn't see anyone and then the other way and the coast was all clear to give my balls a fresh start at feeling comfortable. As I was walking down the hall with my right hand holding a tray, and my left hand grabbing my crotch and setting it straight, I looked over and made eye contact with a little 8 (again, not sure how old she was but she looked
year old as I walked past her open door. She was just laying on the bed watching TV and looked over at me just in time to catch a glimpse of me rubbing my balls. I still feel creepy as fuck about that. 3. This last point isn't about pretty little girls or balls but about me leaving food in a middle aged mans room and puking on him. I had eaten some burritos with extra salsa and then chugged an energy drink right after and then took the order up. I was feeling a little quesy as I went upstairs, but I have a stomach of steel, so I figured I'd be good. I was wrong. As I entered the guys room I felt real green because it was a smoking room and I had quit smoking about a year earlier. I dropped the tray, breaking glass and spilling liquid and food all over the guys bed and got puke on his shoes and suitcase. It was fucking disgusting. I apologized about 60 fucking times and called housekeeping immediately while still having puke breath and feeling gross. This guy was not pleased at all, but I guess he coulda been a dick about it. I'm sure most people woulda been. He ended up getting a free weekend stay and all of his laundary done for free and an upgrade to a suite. I got yelled at a little bit and then laughed at a whole lot.
So, which is it? Being a pedo, being a pedo, or barfing on an old dude? Pick the lie. You got a week.
