[The Canadian Content]

World Savers
Spider-Man
Dr. Strange
Mr. Terrific
Starfire
Superman

Street Justice
Luke Cage
Monet St. Croix
Green Arrow
Majik
Batgirl (Stephanie Brown)

Phenominal Cosmic Powers
Thor
Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner)
Martian Manhunter
Silver Surfer
Adam Warlock

Douche Patrol
Cyclops
Emma Frost
Guy Gardner
Quicksilver
Mystique

[Deleted]

Sorry, Savers.

[Lucky]

I feel like this draw is gonna screw my douches. As it is I really don't know who to cut out so I'll just pimp my guys.



In Cyclops' never ending self righteous need to lead and save everybody he's taken on the task of keeping some of his oldest enemies on the straight and narrow. With the aid of his really bitch and manipulative whore of a wife Emma Frost they've taken on that whiny arrogant sack of douche Quicksilver and that incredibly callous and deceitful jezebel Mystique. Guy Gardner's just a giant douche and he's here for 3 reasons. (1) It is so much fun to drive Cyclops crazy. (2) Have you seen Emma's outfits? (3) Mystique could make herself look like anyone. ANYONE! It doesn't even matter to him how many times Emma uses her psychic powers to make his food taste like crap or leave Quicksilver naked in his bed. As long as it keeps pissing off Cyclops its all good, because he's wearing her down.

Cyclops wants to call the team "X-something" and Guy's got all kinds of great ideas but since neither can agree on a name the team has been unofficially dubbed "The Douche Patrol" by someone in the superhero community. Rumor is it was Ted Kord. Actually Ted told us, so it was him.

[Habs]

This is where having Superman really really hurts..... I'm not in love with any team here, and I don't hate any either. But I was never a fan of Superman or any Kryptonian type super hero for that matter. I do like the idea behind the douches pretty cool. so they get a vote.

I love Spidey and Mr Terrific seems pretty cool from what I read on the net. But Sups.... lets' wait

Street Justice are interesting and they also get a vote.

The Phenoms also look interesting but have other high power guys that can pretty much do it all (Silver Surfer) ....

I actually flipped a coin between Phenominals and World Savers just to put 3 votes here. the Phenoms won, but this can be turned by good arguments.

[Lucky]

I decided that "Phenominal Cosmic Powers" is just too damn powerful. Who would they even fight? Galactus? Darkseid? The entire Skrull army? Its just too much for me to be really intrigued. That argument could come back to bite me in the ass with the Guardians but I think I purposely put Astro on that team to ground them. These guys just feel way too god like.

Plus "Phenominal" is spelled incorrectly.

Mind you, this is only the argument I'm making to disqualify them from a REALLY tough field. In pretty much any other showdown I think they'd get a vote. But I like Street Justice (which isn't surprising since I was involved in the creative process for them) and I have nothing major against Superman, especially when teamed with Strange, Spidey, and Terrific. Down the road the World Savers might be my "too much" team but right now I like them more than the Cosmic dudes.

[DevSop]

Of course I'm voting for this team:



And I'm voting for Douche Patrol even if I really don't think Emma fits, but it's not a big enough deal yet. And then I think I'm voting for the Cosmic team because they at least have 3 people I don't hate reading about, World Savers only has 1.

[Lucky]

I still don't understand how you think Emma isn't a giant douche. She's a grade a bitch.

[Ultimatejobber]

Apr 19, 2010 16:35:36 GMT -5 Lucky said:

Plus "Phenominal" is spelled incorrectly.

I didn't know this was a spelling bee. P-h-e-n-o-m-e-n-a-l. Better?

[Stu]

She's an entertaining bitch though. I can't really agree with the overall team concept for Douches, since Guy's come forward considerably as a character in the Green Lantern Corps series, keeping his brashness and bluster, but actually having sympathetic moments and actual moments of coolness/decency. JLI Guy would fit, sure, but the Guy who was so upset at the (temporary) death of Kyle during Blackest Night that he turned into a Red Lantern, and who wants to be a better man for the sweet and kind Ice? Not so much. Cyclops can be a twerp, but I've liked his eventual development in Grant Morrison's X-Men and Whedon's later development of him as the worthy leader of the team backed up with some badass moments. Quicksilver, yeah, douche. Mystique, not read too many actual comics with her in them, but I get she's jumped sides so much she can qualify, but there's still something sorta cool about her.
If I was making the team, I'd maybe at least swap 2 of the first three out with Green Arrow (adulterous, liberal-when-he's-not-carrying-out-lethal-justice or mind-wiping villains, Black Canary undermining, son(s)-abandoning hypocrite) and Magog for a REAL douche team.

[Lucky]

My point was to not making them totally unlikable pieces of shit. I wanted you to kind of want to read them and like them and the Cyclops/Emma/Guy dynamic is a big part of that. They've got redeeming qualities, but they're still douchebags. Guy's grown as a character a lot, but he's never stopped being a douchebag. Of course I naturally would have loved Green Arrow in there but it didn't happen in the draft.

So Quicksilver and Mystique are kind of over the edge as bigger douches and less likable, but they were kind of guys I had to add at the end when ideal candidates weren't there for me. But those top 3 are supposed to be people you don't hate or despise, but people who are still giant douches even if you do enjoy Guy for how funny he can be or his attitude, or how entertaining Emma can be with her bitchiness, or how much Guy could piss off Cyclops.

[The Canadian Content]

Sadly, FUCK SUPERMAN~! outweighs Spidey and Doc Strange for me.

[Deleted]

I switched my vote to oppose Guy's hair.

I still really REALLY fucking hate Spidey being paired with Superman, though. That's a fucking abortion.

[Deadly]

Apr 20, 2010 8:00:27 GMT -5 The Canadian Content said:

Sadly, FUCK SUPERMAN~! outweighs Spidey and Doc Strange for me.

Yep.

Apr 20, 2010 8:05:44 GMT -5 @gatorbait said:

I still really REALLY fucking hate Spidey being paired with Superman, though. That's a fucking abortion.

Double yep.

Anyway, two votes here: Street Justice and Douche Patrol.

[Deleted]

And I'm not even one of those wonks who hates Superman. I like Superman. (Granted, I didn't draft him because I'm well-aware of the board's loathing for him.)

But Superman is the antithesis of Spider-Man. He's the overpowered guy whose got a minimal weakness, and his greatest difficulty in life is hiding his identity from a bitchy co-worker he's in love with. Spidey always has the odds stacked against him. He struggles to maintain a semblance of a career, hang on to the girl who is way out of his league but is smitten with him anyway, and fight crime/save the world all at the same time. Hell, even the general public hates him most of the time when the same people would all love to gobble on Superman's knob.

Dammit, I just talked myself into changing my vote back to the Cosmic Street Douches.

[Lucky]

Superman also carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, is the last survivor of his race (kinda), is often the target of crazy aliens, wracks his mind with guilt over the people he can't save, is constantly trying to hold the super hero community together or bring the universe together, etc. I don't think Superman and Spider-Man are half as much opposites as you do. That seems to me to be the view of a Spider-Man fan used to having "vs" arguments. I mean, I'm often iffy about Superman but a lot of his knocks are kind of moot. His weaknesses are minimal? Well, if he was fighting low rent villains like Spider-Man often does, yeah, that would be a real edge. But since he's fighting huge ass guys who are his equals its all relative. Spider-Man would be murdered by Superman's enemies.

If anything Superman and Spider-Man have a lot of similarities. Both have the problem of having to conceal their identity from the people they love, making themselves LOOK cowardly and hapless even in the eyes of the women they love. Both are orphans wrestling with the loneliness and sense of responsibility instilled by their absent "fathers" and carrying some guilt over their deaths (in Spider-Man's case its his decision to not stop the burglar that indirectly leads to Ben's death and in Superman's case its Jor-El choosing to save his son's life over all others). They're both pretty straight forward idealistic heroes in the traditional sense, they even managed to follow similar career paths. Superman's got some edges, naturally, but then again Spider-Man's got a lot less responsibility and pressure.

That being said, I'm really not a fan of stacked teams and I think much like Serg's big team last year I'm not feeling the players are complimentary. I think that's clearly just a gap in taste between me and Serge.

[Stu]

Apr 20, 2010 14:15:13 GMT -5 @gatorbait said:

But Superman is the antithesis of Spider-Man. He's the overpowered guy whose got a minimal weakness,

Kryptonite (various kinds), magic can hurt him. Red Sun energy can depower him, and he can be killed by enough blunt force trauma(so the Hulk could conceivably beat him to death).

and his greatest difficulty in life is hiding his identity from a bitchy co-worker he's in love with.

They got married years ago, and she knows who he is. Way to go exposing your ignorance to the character.
Superman also chooses to hide his abilities in his secret identity and deliberately lets people see him as a weak, clumsy, cornball. As a kid he had to forego regular childhood activity such as playing football in order to not harm anyone, which got him ostascised as a pussy. He's actually in a lot of ways lived the same sort of private life as Peter has, BY CHOICE(rather than life taking a shit on him, like it seems to perpetually do with Peter), and hasn't fucking whined about it anywhere near as much, if at all. Also, the values Superman learned from his parental figures weren't distilled into a single fucking catchphrase that Spider-man has repeated so often it's lost all meaning.

[Deleted]

Yes, I know Clark & Lois got married. So it's not-so-much ignorance on my part, but rather commenting on the "classic understood-by-the-public" awkward romance they shared.

And Lucky, I definitely see and agree with your points. But those points only further extend why I feel the 2 are a horrible pair on the same team. It's partly why I've always had trouble with Thor on the Avengers. He just seems way too powerful for the shit these guys deal with on a daily basis, and Superman is no different in that regard. Spidey deals predominately with whack-jobs with extra arms, 1-dimensional abilities, and the occasional alien for whom he typically needs to ask for help in defeating. Superman could piss on those guys and they'd disintegrate (yes, I'm exaggerating). Superman and Spider-Man on the same team is a horrible imbalance and an injustice to BOTH characters.

[Lucky]

On that I mostly agree. That's my problem with the unbalance on the team. If the team goes against Darkseid then Spider-man's kind of useless. If the team goes against the Sinister Six than Superman should have an easy enough time. I don't know if Serge planned it this way but he's got some players like Strange/Superman which almost cancel each other out. If they face a magical threat Superman's fucked but then Strange is there to take up the slack. Or I guess Spider-Man could factor into a Galactus attack because he's a scientist. But the only way it works for me is to negate heroes or elements of heroes with each story, and that just seems too contrived to me. I prefer a team that is just balanced enough to compliment each other and take on one sort of threat (or at least one general range of threats) than a big team trying to do a bit of everything.

For some reason I feel like this is an extension of my and Serge's disagreement over the Golden Age but I can't nail down why. Maybe its that I think "contrived storytelling" is more of a staple of that era and in more modern times is when you have the specific teams that fight specific threats.

[Batman]

Eh.

[Stu]

Why does a Street-Level team need a magic user though?

[Deleted]

2 words: Harry Potter.

[DevSop]

She's more than just magic though, she's also the teams transporter if they need to get from point a to point b rather quickly. And sorcery definitely comes in handy on a street level to care of threats quickly. And if that is deemed too severe, she's also very good with a sword which comes in handy in street level disturbances.