[creepy]

Did people really like Raw this past monday? Really? From top to bottom, it was just a train wreck. I'll do the bullet points on everything I can remember.

---------------------------------------------------------
-Opening segment.
Don't say "every contracted wrestler!" if a half dozen guys don't show up and it's no big deal. Also, they set it up so anticlimaticly (Is this a word?) that I knew that someone, either Coach, Regal, or someone returning (Jericho was on my mind) would end up eventually winning. When it was down to these guys, I knew some kind of swerve was going to happen.

Shelton- Really? We're supposed to believe this could actually happen?
Carlito-The best idea of the bunch, but unless he got hurt, it didn't seem likely.
Sandman- If he's reitiring soon, then it could make sense. But would anyone care? Would VKM in these trying times give The Sandman this spotlighted job? He's lucky he still gets a paycheck, for crying out loud.
Cody- Kinda interesting to think about, but the kid doesn't seem to be much of a talker yet. He seems to have some kind of fake teeth/gay lisp/tongue problem. I can't quite put my finger on it, unless he has fake teeth and a gay lisp and his tongue is always fucked up.
Not a complete waste of time, but very lazy on the booking. But I have come to expect shitty angles/writing/booking from this free falling company, so I can give it a pass. It took 20 minutes to tell us Vince has stupid shit to say and Regal is the new GM. And they wasted most of the roster in the Battle Royal.
---------------------------------------
-Snitsky
Waste of time. Waste of time. Waste of time.
---------------------------------------------------
-Vince's backstage skits
He said he was going to talk about the media, congress, his family, last nights dinner, naked monkeys humping, his underwear collection, whatever......
What did he say?

1) Congress is lame because President Ben Franklin did something. Oh, he wasn't a President, Coach? He was on the One Hundred Dollar bill? Oh, that's better. For some reason.
2) His family doesn't care about him. They just care about the money. This is actually quite possible. That asshole probably just thinks he's making up stuff, when he's thisclose to being right.
3) The media is entertainment, just like the WWE. No shit, Sherlock. Wrestling fans are either a)Smart enough to realize this, or b)Stupid and could care less.
4) The IRS thing popped up. Unless he gets thrown in jail (we could only be so lucky), this will not effect us.
Waste of my time, Vince.
---------------------------------------------------------
-Kennedy
Getting old. I FFed through this, waiting for something to happen. Did anything happen?
Waste of my time.
---------------------------------------------------------
-Carlito's Cabana
Sets up the main event which didn't happen. Sweet.
And I agree with whoever said that we just hate Cena now because he's Cena. He's been so lame for so long that we just accept that Cena=shit. But he dug himself in the shithole and he might not be doing anything to deepen the hole, but he is defin not doing anything to crawl out.
Not a complete waste of time, but it dragged on and on and on......

---------------------------------------------------------
-The Dating Game segment
I've heard it was a fun time waster. Why? Why the fuck do we need a time waster every fucking week? I can appreciate on a big PPV to get the crowd time to recooperate between money matches. I can see if the show was loaded with greatness. I could even see it if the show was pretty good. But when people are expecting to have time waster parts every week and they can't totally hate you for this one, then something is defin a miss. Seriously, does that make any sense? Nothing ever fucking happened the whole show! A time waster piece is no longer a time waster piece if the whole show is a time waster piece. So fucking lame.
While I admit that Marella is starting to entertain me with his shitbaggedness and Duggan was kind of funny, it just felt like it was unneeded. The first time Ron Simmons came out and said DAMN, I laughed. I LOL'ed And even put on my Lollerskates, which I hardly ever do when it comes to wrestling these days. After he did it a second time, though, I thought, "Christ, too much of a good thing ruins what it was." Now, It's almost as bad as asshole fuckpanels* saying KENNEDY! all the time.
Somewhat of a waste of time. If the show was good, then this woulda been acceptable. This woulda probably been shit on if the show was great.
-------------------------------------------------------------
-The Main Event
Saw that coming. From a mile away. I guess 10 year olds were surprised (OMG~UMAGA TURNED FACE!!!!1!!!! AWESOME!!!!! HE WON'T BEAT DOWN FACES ANYMORE!!!!!!!111!!!! SWEET BLESSED MOTHER OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!) I hate wrestling when it's this shitty.
Waste of time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
-Limo crap.
Way to be a dick and correlate the two times you were on last, VKM. My DVR cut off as soon as Vince got out of the limo. It seems that he has a illegitimate child? I hope Linda sues his ass for everything he's worth and bankrupts him and he moves to Galveston and becomes the maintenance guy at my apartment complex. That would make me happy.
Not totally a waste of time, but I think the angle is going to suck a fat dick. Because this is the WWE, afterall.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

I enjoyed Murder, She Wrote more, which I watched right after RAW. I'm not joking.










*I straight up stole this from Jeb. Half because I still don't know what the heck it means.

[National Champion Chris Cole]

I hadn't watched Raw in a couple of months but had nothing better to do at 9 and wasn't feeling well enough to play a video game so I laid on the couch and watched Raw. I'd say it was mediocre but that is still better then the shit they served the last few months.

I liked the Battle Royal. I called Regal from the beginning but then my mind went through many other options. I thought Booker might win. Then he was eliminated. I thought Kennedy might win. Then he was eliminated. It looked like Regal was gone so I needed a new pick. I was horrified at the thought of Cody Rhodes winning but I thought he might. Then I was convinced Carlito was the only choice left. Then Sandman won. Then Regal popped out. Wrestling RARELY keeps me guessing now a days. This was a welcome series of events.

I also liked the quick pan to IRS, Regal's backstage segments, and the Dating Game. My wife was actually laughing at the Regal backstage stuff. We remembered the time Regal was Commish and Jericho urinated in his tea. She said "That was back when wrestling was good." Regal in this role is at least a step closer to that time. He was very funny in the Dating Segment. I also liked Simmons, Hacksaw, Santino, and Maria during the skit. And I really don't like ANY of them otherwise. I can't put my finger on why I liked it but I know I was laughing a few times.

I also didn't mind the Limo Ending. It wasn't great but it also kept me guessing. I really thought Vince might be have a big enough Hard On to finish his dead storyline that he was honestly go thorugh with killing himself off again. It was a cute setup to the next angle. The next angle sounds lame but I'll give it a little time before I totally pass judgment on it.

The Bad: Snitsky. Just a waste. Also the Cabana. Granted I HATE Cena and can't stand just about anything he does. I was pissed they made Carlito look like a total pussy. I know it is creul for me to say it but I really wish the injury bug would stop affecting guys I like: Rey, Taker, HHH, Edge, and happen to Cena. 8 months with Cena off TV would be heaven. Main Event was well enough wrestled.

[Jack Quinn]

Regal as GM is good, if a bit convoluted to get there. The Dating Game was kinda funny, but lets not make it a weekly thing.

Everything else, including the return of HHH, does absolutely nothing for me. At all.

[DevSop]

You're right Moose, the Dating G@me should not be a weekly thing. Not when they can do Super Password next week, maybe The Newlywed G@me the week after, all leading the the great big conclusion with Press Your Luck.

No Whammy No Whammy Big Bucks

STOP.