OOC - I also think that match (KZ vs TTFDU) is a strong match of the year contender.

OOWF Rankings for 05/13/09[/u]

OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe (+11, 23-12)
1. The Dead – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+6, 11-5)
2. Thim Reynolds – OOWF Onslaught Champion (+2, 8-6)
3. Outback Jack (+8, 19-11)
4. LD Williams (+7, 20-13)
5. Chris Evans (+6, 13-7)
6. Davin Moreland (+5, 21-16)
7. Bryce Larson (+5, 19-14)
8. Tytan (+4, 21-17)
9. Alexander Darling (+4, 20-16)
10. Firewoman (+4, 19-15)
11. Moosehead Jack (+4, 17-13)
12. GatorBait (+4, 7-3)
13. Chad Madison (+4, 5-1)**
14. Stank (+3, 16-13)
15. Skurge (+2, 19-17)
16. Zane Myers (+2, 6-4)**
17. Beer Baron (+2, 4-2)**
18. Nayr (+1, 15-14)
19. Matte (+1, 11-10)
20. The Amnesiac (E, 18-18)
21. SYB (-2, 17-19)
22. Attitude Adjuster (-2, 1-3)*
23. Johnny Adrenaline (-2, 1-3)*
24. Spin Hansen (-3, 12-15)
25. Concrete TG (-6, 15-21)
26. Seamus McNasty (-6, 13-19)
27. DH Magnusson (-7, 9-16)
28. Blitz (-10, 6-16)

*OOWF World Tag Team Champions
**OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions

World Tag Team Rankings[/u]
OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Chickenshit Heels (-1, 1-2)
1. The Team From Down Under (+5, 7-2)
2. Run DEA (+4, 5-1)
3. The Heroes Guild (+2, 7-5)
4. Cowboy Up (E, 1-1)
5. kz (-1, 1-2)
6. IHOP (-3, 4-7)

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, South Carolina

THIM REYNOLDS vs. JOHNNY ADRENALINE vs. THE DEAD vs. ATTITUDE ADJUSTER – Winner Earns a Title Shot Tonight

The Chickenshit Heels are announced and they come out first, clearly not happy that they could potentially face one another with a title shot on the line. The OOWF Onslaught champion Thim Reynolds is announced and he makes his way to the ring and stands in the corner staring stoically at the tag champs, and finally The Dead, the OOWF Intercontinental champion is announced and he makes his way to the ring. With all four participants in the ring, the referee tries to get some semblance of order. This is not a tornado match, nor is it an elimination match. The first person to score a pin fall or submission victory wins the match and the title shot. In the corner, The Chickenshit Heels engage in a little game of rock, paper, and scissor. It seems like Johnny wins, so they move to the middle of the ring, while the referee is escorting Thim and Dead out of the ring. AA falls to the mat like he had been shot, and Johnny falls on top of him and screams for the referee to turn around and make the count. The ref turns and sees the pin fall and hits the mat, one, two, thre….NO! Dead makes it back into the ring and breaks things up with a hard kick to the back of Adrenaline’s head. He pulls Johnny to his feet and hits a spinning heel kick that sends Johnny into the corner. Thim comes in, clearly pissed off by the shenanigans, and grabs AA as he gets to his feet, spins him around and slams him in the face with a head but dropping the champ to his knees. Thim grabs AA’s head and delivers several elbows to the top of his head, then hits the ropes and lands a perfect drop kick to the face that sends AA out of the ring to the floor. In the corner Dead pulls AA to his feet and sees Thim standing by the ropes. He whips Adrenaline toward Thim and Thim back drops him over the ropes to the floor, sending both Heels to the floor hard. The Dead runs over to the ropes and waits for them to get to their feet so he can launch himself over the ropes at them. As Dead springs off the bottom rope, Thim comes up behind him and grabs him in the tazzmission! Thim falls back, cinching the move in hard! Dead is in trouble and is struggling to escape, but he is quickly fading. From the outside, Adrenaline sees what is going on and slides into the ring and rakes Thim’s eyes, forcing him to break the hold.

Adrenaline pulls Thim to his feet, and while he was doing that dirty work, Attitude Adjuster made his way to a corner and removed the padding on the turnbuckle. Johnny takes Thim and SLAMS him head first into the exposed steel. Thim slumps to the mat and falls between the ropes to the floor. The referee seems content to keep Adrenaline and the Dead as the legal men in the match. Johnny turns back to The Dead and sees him struggling to his feet. He connects with a kick to the midsection, then hooks Dead in a delayed vertical suplex before finally falling to the mat. Johnny floats over and covers, but Dead rolls his shoulder at two. Johnny is quickly back to his feet, and he pulls Dead up and traps him in an abdominal stretch. On the opposite side of the ring, Thim Reynolds is back on the apron, blood running down his face from a gash caused by the exposed turnbuckle. Thim is seething with rage. Adrenaline reaches out and tags in Attitude Adjuster, keeping Dead trapped in the stretch. AA steps between the ropes and lands a punch to Dead’s ribs that drops him to the mat. AA looks over at Thim and taunts him, daring him to come into the ring. Thim, however, does not take the bait.

The taunting gives Dead the opening he needs though, he sweeps AA’s legs, sending him to the mat. Dead drops a leg across AA and covers, but Johnny breaks it up with a kick to the back of the head. Dead gets to his feet and catches Johnny with a spinning heel kick to the back of the head as he is leaving the ring, sending him over the ropes to the floor. Dead grabs AA and hits a chin breaker, then scoops him up and plants him on the mat, bounds off the ropes and hits a standing moonsault for a two count. Dead pulls AA up and DRIVES him to the mat with an unprettier, then takes a few steps back and sets up for the CLOSE THE CASKET! But Dead takes a few too many steps back and Thim reaches out and tags himself in. Dead spins around in shock as Thim steps between the ropes. Thim catches Dead with a spinning clothesline that almost takes his head off, then grabs Dead and throws him through the ropes to the floor, landing right on top of Adrenaline. Those two immediately start fighting.

Back inside the ring, Thim Hammers AA with shots to the face, then pulls him off the mat and sends him into the corner with the exposed steel. AA puts on the breaks and in a stunning show of agility, hops to the second rope, avoiding the collision with the steel. AA points to his head and taunts the fans in the first few rows. Bad move. Thim comes in behind AA and yanks his legs our from beneath him and AA SLAMS onto the exposed steel chin first! AA staggers backward, and Thim immediately grabs him in the tazzmission and falls back to the mat! The referee sees AA quickly losing consciousness, and also notices the blood POURING from his mouth and quickly calls for the bell before either Johnny or The Dead can make it back into the ring to break up the pin.
WINNER in 13:26 – Thim Reynolds

Tournament For The Titles

CONCRETE TG vs. THE AMNESIAC vs. BLITZ vs. MATTE – Onslaught Championship Elimination Series

Match to be added later, gb had some computer issues, Blitz is eliminated, Crete, Amnesiac and Matte advance

RUN DEA vs. COWBOY UP vs. IHOP – World Tag Team Title Elimination Series – Group A

The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of this 3-way tag match; and it should prove to be pretty interesting. With a couple of minor exceptions, these 3 teams really don't have a lot of experience with one another, so no one can really know what to expect here. First out to “Bawitdaba” is IHOP, and Skurge and SYB draw some half-hearted ire from the fans before busting out some quality posing in the ring. “Shoulda Been a Cowboy” starts up, and the Zaniacs, Chadiacs and Skipiacs all lose their mind in their totally-not-Kevin-Millar-Number-15-Cowboy Up T-Shirts as Cowboy Up appear at the top of the ramp, obviously aboard Skip. SYB turns green in the ring as he apparently has some sort of flashback going on. Chad's steering, and eventually they get Skip tied up to some makeshift hitchin' post which just randomly happens to be there. They roll in the ring and IHOP chickenshits their way out of the ring as Cowboy Up does their posing to their adoring fans. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros can only look on at the proceedings around him and grin. “Killing in the Name Of” replaces on the sound system, and Run DEA's team of Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling wait out their pyro before making their way to the ring. They're still getting a strong negative reaction from the crowd, but there's a definite minority of smarks out there who feel differently from the majority. Cowboy Up vacates to give Run DEA their air time before Barros calls everyone into the ring to explain the rules to everyone: 2 men in at a time, all tags to anyone are legal. Satisfied that everyone understands basic English, Barros calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

There's quite a bit of milling around to start, but eventually Zane Myers and Skurge end up in the ring together. They lock up to start, and it's a virtual stalemate. Myers buries a knee in Skurge's midsection, and then clubs him on the back with a double axe handle. Myers hits the near rope and drops a leg on the back of Skurge's head and flips him over to cover. The count gets a weak 2, and Myers pulls Skurge to his feet. He drags Skurge over near where his partner is before hitting lightning quick DDT. He tags Madison who immediately climbs the turnbuckle. Just as he's about to take off, SYB comes out of nowhere and crotches him on the top rope. Zane is PISSED and goes off in search of the chickenshitting SYB. Meanwhile, Alexander Darling rushes over and smacks Madison on the back (while crotched, ow) to tag himself in. Darling tries a Slingshot Elbow Drop, but eats canvas, as Skurge rolls out of the way. Skurge looks to tag out and doesn't see his partner, so he just lunges at Darling and catches him with a weak elbow drop to the neck. So weak in fact, that Darling looks like he got the better of the exchange and is to his feet. He rubs his neck before locking Skurge in a Surfboard Hold. We know what this means...MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Darling rolls Skurge over and covers...1...2...and Madison comes flying in out of nowhere to break up the pin!

Darling is (obviously) HEATED and stalks Madison back to the corner. Madison turns around and they start trading punches. Meanwhile, Skurge desperately needs to tag out, and there's exactly one option to do just that. With his attention on the skirmish between Myers and SYB on the outside, Davin Moreland doesn't see Skurge coming, and barely feels him tag Davin's arm as he dives out to the floor. Davin shrugs and climbs into the ring, watching Darling and Madison trade haymakers. Davin politely asks Barros who's legal, and gets the clearly surprising answer. Davin thinks for a second and starts yelling at Darling to let Madison go so he can tag out. Darling gives Moreland a classy “fuck you” response. Lather, rinse, repeat for a second time, with a similar result. Davin gets a pissed off look on his face and SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP ON DARLING! 1...2...and Darling just does escape. He rolls to his feet PISSED OFF (with good reason), and Davin, with a smirk, tags Madison, who hits a lightning fast Cross-Body on Darling. He tries to pin but Darling rolls through. Madison just does kick out before 3, and Darling presses his attack. He pulls Madison all the way up and hits a SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER! He covers again and this might do it...1...2...SYB breaks up the count!

SYB retreats quickly to his corner before Darling can catch him, but that doesn't stop Darling from chasing him. This allows Madison to tag in his partner Myers, with sqweeeees from the Zaniacs as he's recently hopped up on the apron. He stalks across the ring to where Darling is threatening SYB and looks to make a run at Darling. At the last second, however, Darling SLAPS THE TASTE OUT OF SYB'S MOUTH! In this match, that's also known as a “tag”. Myers modifies his run, and grabs SYB, tossing him into the ring as a chuckling Darling retreats to his corner to have a discussion with his partner. SYB, an expert at running away, tries everything he can think of to escape, but Myers has a hold of both of SYB's feet and SYB is going nowhere. He drags SYB to his corner and makes the tag to Madison who gets on the top turnbuckle. Madison takes off just as Myers gets SYB in position, and they hit a SICK SPIKE PILEDRIVER that might have broken SYB's neck. Madison bounced halfway across the ring and takes a second to cover...1...2...and Davin Moreland breaks up the pin with a stomp. He looks over at Myers and shrugs his shoulders and smirks before heading back to his corner. Madison locks SYB in a headlock and drags him over to the corner and tags in his partner. Meanwhile, Skurge has gotten Barros' attention somehow...apparently he's got an inside line on the 7 dog at Lincoln Park. This allows SYB to hit a DOUBLE JERSEY TURNPIKE and Cowboy Up crumbles to the mat. SYB escape over to Skurge and tags him in. Meanwhile a severely crippled Zane Myers drags himself over to the Run DEA corner, and Davin Moreland reaches out and makes the tag.

Davin is on Skurge in a heartbeat, but Skurge saw him coming and hit a Drop Toe Hold into the ropes. Skurge reaches down and comes up holding Davin Moreland in THE EXECUTIONER! Barros is checking on Davin and this one might be over! Davin tries to jump backward and land on Skurge, and actually does so, but Skurge hangs on, and Moreland can't take much more of this. He can't get to the ropes, so something else is going to have to happen as he's fading. At the last second, he sticks his leg up in the Cowboy Up corner, and, after what looks to be some silent debate, Chad Madison tags in! Madison gathers speed, hitting the far ropes and drilling Skurge with a basement dropkick! This breaks the hold, and Madison drags Skurge away from the ropes and tags in Myers. Myers tries to pull Skurge up for the Torture Rack, but Skurge escapes out the back door and tries to get to SYB, but Cowboy up beats him down. Finally Madison is banished to the outside, and Myers pulls Skurge up once more and GETS HIM IN THE TORTURE RACK! Won't be long now! Skurge is struggling, trying everything to get out of the hold, but it's just not happening. SYB rushes in to try to break the hold, but Madison cuts him off and blasts him to the outside and they both powder. Out of desperation, Skurge sticks his hand out and manages to clip Davin Moreland in the head. Barros thinks that's good enough for a tag, and Moreland is legal. Myers didn't see it, so he just continues to hang onto the Torture Rack. Davin climbs the turnbuckle, and when Myers eventually turns to face that turnbuckle, Davin DESTROYS him with a MISSILE DROPKICK! Skurge flies across the ring and dies in the corner. Davin waves Darling into the ring and retreats to the far ropes. Darling pulls Myers up and GOOZLES him for a Darling Driver, and Davin takes off....DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER! Myers is dead from the DDDC and Darling gets out of the way as Davin hooks the leg.
WINNER in 18:55.RUN DEA & IHOP! Cowboy Up is eliminated!

Post-Match, Chad Madison comes flying into the ring a little too late to break up the pin, and Darling looks to start a beat down, but Davin gets in between before anything can happen. Darling stares daggers into Moreland before heading up the ramp, and Davin stays in the ring for a bit, squinting his eyes as if he's looking for something. Finally Davin rolls out of the ring and joins his partner on the ramp. What a fucking weirdo.


THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ vs. THE HEROES GUILD – World Tag Team Title Elimination Series – Group B

All three teams are introduced and make their way to the ring. The referee has to get between kz and The Team From Down Under, and finally orders kz out of the ring. The Aussies decide that it will be Outback Jack starting things off with Bryce Larson. The two of them slowly circle then lock up. Larson grabs a side head lock, and Jack immediately sends him to the ropes, but Larson holds on to the ropes and does not rebound. Jack yells for him to come back to the middle, and Larson does. Another collar and elbow, this time Larson slips behind him and takes Jack to the mat and catches him with a forearm to the back of the head. Larson flips Jack over and tries a figure four leg lock, but Jack kicks him off sending him into the kz corner. Before Larson can put on the breaks, he gets matching punches to the head from Moose and LD. The referee considers that a tag and orders LD into the ring. LD steps between the ropes and charges at Jack, and the two of them meet in the center of the ring and explode into violence. Meanwhile Larson is still arguing with Moose in the corner. Larson connects with a kick on Moose, sending him off the apron, but Moose reaches under the bottom rope and pulls Larson to the floor.

Inside the ring, LD grabs Jack and slams him in the face with a head but, but Jack barely misses a step, and comes right back with a kick to LD’s gut, followed by a knee lift that sends him to the mat. Jack stomps LD, then pulls him to the corner and tags in Gator. Gator comes in and pulls LD up and hits a belly to back suplex, dropping LD’s head on the top turnbuckle. LD falls to the mat and Gator covers, but he can only get a one count.

Meanwhile on the outside, Moose grabs Larson and slams him ribs first into the guard rail and turns and starts to climb back into the ring, but Larson pulls him off the apron and rocks him with a European uppercut, then hits a standing hurracarana that sends Moose to the floor. Larson waits for Moose to get to his feet, then gets a running start, leaps onto the apron and hits a spinning heel kick that sends Moose over the guard rail and into the first row. It is there that Moose lands to a large man wearing a mask. He slowly turns at Moose and stares at him. Moose pauses for a moment and the two lock eyes. Moose heads back to the railing, but keeps looking back at the mysterious man. After a few more seconds he hops the railing and climbs back onto the apron.

Meanwhile in the ring, Gator has LD in a chin lock, and he repeatedly cross faced LD, leaving his nose bloody. Fury burns in LD’s eyes as he slowly works from beneath Gator and works to his feet. LD frees himself with several elbows to the midsection, then bounds off the ropes…..where Nayr tags himself in. LD stops short and glares at Nayr, Nayr springboards to the top rope and leaps over LD’s head and catches Gator right in the mouth with a missile drop kick. LD makes his way back to the corner, but not after exchanging a few more words with Larson.

Nayr pulls Gator to his feet and sends him to the ropes and hits a back elbow that catches Gator flush on the jaw and sends him to the mat again. Nayr waits for Gator to get to one knee, then takes him down again with a swinging neck breaker. Nayr reaches out and tags Larson into the match again, then grabs Gator and hits, SLICED BREAD #2! As soon as he hits it, Larson springs to the top rope and hits a perfect moonsault, covers, and gets the two count, but before the ref hits three, Moose comes in and drops an elbow across the back of Larson’s head. Moose grabs Larson and throws him face first into the corner and gets a couple good kicks in on Gator as well. The referee yells for Moose to get out of the ring, and the whole time Moose is arguing with the referee, he has his foot on Gator’s throat. Finally Jack runs in and clocks Moose upside the head with a right, which brings LD into the fray as well.

All six men are slugging it out in the middle of the ring and the referee is desperately trying to restore order. Jack and LD tumble between the ropes to the floor. Gator gets to his feet and grabs Moose and rakes his eyes, sends him to the ropes and hits a spine buster. Nayr leaps over the ropes at LD and Jack, but for a split second that old team work comes back, and they catch Nayr, and hit a flapjack onto the floor! Nayr is DEAD! The two snarl at one another and immediately go back to pummeling each other. Inside the ring, Larson grabs Gator from behind and rolls him up, the referee hits the mat and makes a two count, but Moose is back on his feet, and he grabs Larson and DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT! Moose looks outside the ring and sees Jack has LD set up for the CHOMP and leaves the ring to save his partner from certain death.

With the ring finally cleared, Gator gets to his feet and moves to the corner and climbs to the middle rope. He waits, and as Larson struggles to his feet, he leaps and hits a bulldog! For the second time in less than a minute, Larson’s head is driven into the mat. Gator hooks the arm and rolls him over and gets the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 17:41 – The Team From Down Under & kz – The Heroes Guild is eliminated

Gator does not celebrate a bit, he immediately leaves the ring and The Aussies and kz brawl violently around ringside. Several times the fight threatens to spill into the crowd. Finally security breaks them up and gets them to the back. The Heroes Guild get on their feet in the middle of the ring and look bitterly disappointed. They do, however, get a title shot against The Chickenshit Heels next week along with Cowboy Up. As if on cue, Johnny and AA appear at the top of the ramp and stare the Heroes down.

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. CHRIS EVANS vs. STANK – Intercontinental Title Elimination Series

All four make their entrances and stand in the four corners. Seamus and Magnusson seem like they are basically on the same page. Evans looks like he is ready for war, and Stank just glares at Magnusson with hate in his eyes. Seamus and Dh step between the ropes, and it appears that Stank and Evans will start this match. Evans is going to have to use his speed advantage here, he is easily the smallest man in the match. He and Stank lock up, and Stank easily pushes him back into the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, and surprisingly gets it. As Stank is backing into the middle of the ring, Magnusson says something to him. When Stank turns his head to say something back, Evans charges out of the corner and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that drops Stank to one knee. Evans quickly hits the ropes and catches Stank with a knee to the temple that sends the big man to the mat. Evans covers, but Stank kicks out before the referee can even get in position to make a one count.

Stank gets to one knee and Evans charges in and catches him with several shots to the face, then a kick to the ribs. He runs the ropes and tries for another kick to the head, but Stank gets to his feet and nearly decapitates Evans with a clothesline. Evans does a one eighty and winds up on the mat. Stank pulls a dead Evans to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries to elevate him, but Evans recovers and connects with another drop kick that staggers the big man backward a few steps. Evans reaches out to tag in Magnusson, but he short arms him and tells him to tag in Seamus. Evans looks annoyed, but then makes the tag to Seamus.

Seamus comes into the ring and he and Stank meet in the middle of the ring and start exchanging thunderous chops and punches. Stank seems to be getting the upper hand when Seamus blasts him out of nowhere with a head but to the face. Stank drops to one knee and grabs his head, and we see the head butt opened a cut above his eye. Seamus pulls Stank to his feet, scoops the big man up and plants him on the mat, then bounds off the ropes and connects with a falling head butt to the side of Stank’s head. Seamus covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Seamus gets back to his feet and is waiting for Stank to get up, when DH reaches out and tags himself into the match. Seamus spins around clearly annoyed by this, but the referee saw it and counts it as a legal man so Seamus has to leave.

Magnusson charges into the ring and mounts Stank and rains rights and lefts down on his head. He even manages to get a choke in for a little longer than normal because Seamus is doing him the favor of arguing with the referee. The referee finally turns around and sees the choke and starts the five count, Magnusson breaks just before he would have been disqualified. DH gets to his feet and gets a running start and drops an elbow across Stank’s chest, followed by a couple of knees. DH pulls Stank up and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a big boot to the jaw on the rebound. Magnusson covers, but once again Stank kicks out at two. The big man desperately needs to make a tag.

Magnusson pulls Stank to his feet and puts him in an abdominal stretch, then tags in Evans. Evans climbs to the second rope and leaps, driving his elbow into Stank’s ribs and sending him to the mat again. Evans waits until Stank is on his hands and knees and connects with a kick to the ribs that sends Stank back to the mat. Evans springs off the bottom rope and hits a helicopter leg drop, covers, and gets another two count. Stank uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, Evans catches him with several kicks to the legs, then tries a lung blower, but Stank holds onto the top rope and Evans slams to the canvas. Stank finally turns around and starts to stagger toward the corner for a tag, but Evans charges in. This time Stank is ready for him, and he catches Evans on his shoulders and is about to drill him with a Stank-U when Magnusson charges into the ring and BLASTS Stank in the face with a big boot to the face! Stank hits the mat again, and Magnusson drags Evans to the corner and Seamus tags himself in.

Seamus charges in and puts the boots to Stank, then pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a HOTSHOT off the top rope! Stank falls to the mat, stunned, and Seamus covers, but only gets a two count, somehow Stank rolled his shoulder. Seamus pulls Stank to his feet and tries an unprettier, but Stank shoves him hard into the corner, Seamus slams sternum first into the turnbuckle, and as he staggers backward Stank rolls him up from behind, but only gets a two count. Stank gets to his feet and staggers toward the corner, but Magnusson jumps off the apron before he can make the tag. Stank stares daggers into Magnusson, and Seamus blindsides him, sending him between the ropes to the floor.

With Magnusson and Stank on the outside, DH calls for Evans to distract the referee while he grabs a chair. Evans calls the referee over and Magnusson lines him up for a chair shot, but at the last second Evans spins the referee around and he sees Magnusson bring the chair down on Stank’s head! He immediately calls for the bell! Magnusson has been disqualified!
WINNERS in 17:26 – Stank, Seamus McNasty and Chris Evans – DH Magnusson is eliminated

TYTAN vs. BEER BARON vs. FIREWOMAN vs. SPIN HANSEN – World Heavyweight Title Elimination Series

Tytan enters the arena first, making his way silently to the ring completely oblivious to the fans. Spin Hansen is out next, to a rousing ovation. Firewoman is third, and wisely chooses to circle the ring and stay out on the floor. The Beer Baron hits the ring last, and receives a mixed reaction. As soon as Baron steps into the ring, referee Junior Hale calls for the bell and we're underway.

Tytan, Spin and Baron meet in the middle of the ring and a shoving match ensues. Fire sees an opportunity and slips into the ring and rolls up Spin from behind. She gets a one count before Tytan and Baron both stomp on her to break it up. Tytan turns and shoves Baron, who shoves back. Tytan responds with a forearm to the chest and Baron responds in kind. Spin gets to his feet and levels both men with a clothesline, and Fire dives on Tytan. She flips him over, grabs his arms, and curb stomps his already damaged face into the mat. That seems to work well, so she hits several more, until Baron, having tossed Spin from the ring, grabs her from behind and nails the Blackout. He makes the cover, but Spin reaches in to drag him off at two.

Spin drags Baron right out of the ring and plasters him with punches. He tries an Irish whip, but Baron reverses, sending Spin into the railing and hitting a clothesline that sends him into the crowd. Baron glances back at the ring, and when he turns back, Spin grabs his head and slams him with a head butt, and drives his face into the railing. Spin accepts a drink from a fan, then climbs back to ringside. He lifts Baron into a fireman's carry, but Baron drives an elbow into his temple and slides off his back, reversing into an inverted DDT.

Inside the ring, Tytan gets to his feet just before Fire and hits her with a running knee lift. He drags her to her feet and swings, but Fire ducks the punch, steps in close, and hits a series of rabbit punches. She shoves Tytan back to the ropes and whips him across the ring, but Tytan reverses, hits the ropes himself, and kills her with the Decapitator. He reaches to drag her to her feet, but Baron shoves Spin into the ring, so Tytan turns and nails Baron with a boot to the head as he climbs onto the apron. Baron fall to the floor, and Tytan turns to Spin. He drives an elbow into his throat, then scoops him up for the Final Fallout, but Fire clips his knee from behind. Tytan topples, and Spin manages to hook Tytan's head as he falls, planting him with a brutal DDT. He rolls him over and hooks the leg,, but Baron slides into the ring and pulls him off as Fire falls on him with an elbow drop.

Baron pulls Spin to his feet, and doesn't see Fire crawl on top of Tytan and hook both legs. Junior counts, but Tytan manages to roll a shoulder just before three. Fire straddles Tytan's shoulders and starts pummeling him with forearms, ignoring Junior's protests. Baron, meanwhile, hits Spin with the Keg Toss, then hauls him up and goes for the Keg Stand, but Spin blocks the move. Spin buries a knee in Baron's stomach, and hauls him over with a gut-wrench suplex. Spin goes to the ropes and drives a knee into Baron's throat, then makes the cover, which draws Fire's attention, and she shoves him off.

Fire grabs Spin in a front face lock and starts driving knees into his face. Spin elbows free, and they start exchanging chops.
Baron and Tytan get to their feet on either side of them and Baron grabs Spin while Tytan grabs Fire, and they hit stereo German suplexes into bridges. Junior makes a double count, but both Fire and Spin roll their shoulders in time. Baron and Tytan drag Spin and Fire to their feet, back them into opposite corners, and lay into them with punches. They hit simultaneous Irish whips, and Fire and Spin collide skull-to-skull in the middle of the ring. They stagger back, and Tytan and Baron plant them with belly-to-belly suplexes. Baron goes for the cover on Spin, but Tytan rolls to his feet, hits the ropes, and kicks him in the head to break it up. While he's occupied Fire gets to her feet, and when Tytan turns around, she springboards off the ropes and levels him with a clothesline. She rolls to her feet and heads to the corner – BFE! Forgoing the cover, she locks Tytan in the Last Chancery.

While she's doing that, Baron gets to his feet and moves in on Spin, who catches him with a punch to the stomach followed by a DDT. He sends Baron to the ropes and kills him with a Spinebuster. Fire sees that and releases Tytan, coming over to break up the potential pin, but Spin rolls to his feet, catches her, and hits a spinebuster, planting her on top of Tytan. Spin turns and kicks Baron in the stomach, and hits the Jaegerbomb. He hooks the leg and Junior counts One...Two...Fire frees herself and dives toward them, but is too late...Three.
WINNERS in 14:59, Spin Hansen, Firewoman and Tytan – Beer Baron is eliminated



POE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

Thim Reynolds makes his way to the ring, the Onslaught championship around his waist. Thim doesn’t even notice the fans, he is completely focused on the task at hand. Thim steps between the ropes, and looks ready to go. Poe’s music plays and the imposing world champion steps out to the ramp with Selena by his side. Poe never takes his gaze off of Thim as he slowly makes his way to the ring. He holds the ropes open for Selena and she steps between the ropes and skips around the ring, stopping in front of Thim, then slowly melting back and stepping away under his icy stare. The referee holds the title up in the air, and is about to hand it off to the timekeeper, when Poe takes the title back and hands it to Selena. She takes the belt and slips out of the ring and sits ringside with the title on her lap. The bell rings, and this match is officially underway.

Poe and Thim slowly circle and eye one another. Poe has to be careful not to let Thim get to that damaged ankle. Thim is the master of dislocating joints, and knows all the pressure points. However, if Thim becomes obsessed with one body part, he leaves himself open to Poe’s brutal attack. They finally lock up and Thim grabs an arm wringer and drives Poe to a knee, but Poe is quickly back to his feet, and he reverses it to an arm wringer of his own. The much taller Poe drives Thim to his knees, twisting his arm and threatening to rip it off. Thim gets to his feet, then frees himself with several kicks to the back of Poe’s leg. Thim hits the ropes and tries a chop block, but Poe side steps the move. As Thim stands up, Poe grabs him, scoops him up and plants him on the mat. Poe hits the ropes and tries a leg drop, but Thim rolls out of the way and Poe gets nothing but mat. Thim quickly spins to his feet and catches Poe with a kick to the chest that sends him to the mat, then Thim bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across the champs chest and covers, but Poe kicks out before the referee can even get down on the mat. Thim pulls him to a sitting position and grabs a head lock, but Poe quickly works to his feet and reverses it into a belly to back suplex.

Poe pulls Thim to his feet and whips him into the corner, and follows him in with a clothesline. As Thim staggers forward, Poe goozles him, lifts him and throws him into the corner again, then peepers him with body shots, followed by an elbow to the head. Thim holds onto the ropes, but does not fall to the mat. Poe grabs him by the head and pulls him out of the corner and hits a side slam and covers, but Thim rolls his shoulder at two.

Poe pulls Thim to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes, but Thim reverses it and buries a knee in Poe’s midsection on the rebound, doubling the champ over. Thim kicks Poe’s leg from beneath him and Poe falls to the mat. Thim immediately grabs Poe’s leg and twists, turning his often injured ankle awkwardly. Poe starts to pull himself to the ropes, but Thim lands several stiff kicks to his hamstring, then pulls him back to the middles of the ring. Poe tries to fight his way back to the ropes, but Thim grabs his other leg, and delivers a head but right to the groin! Poe rolls in pain and Thim falls on him and covers, but the champ kicks out at two. Thim pulls him to a sitting position and connects with several stiff kicks to the back and the back of the head. With Poe dazed, Thim hits the ropes and hits a falling clothesline that folds the champ in half, bouncing his forehead off the canvas. Poe falls back and Thim covers again, but once again he can only get a two count.

Thim runs the ropes and drops a knee across Poe’s chest and covers again, but once again the champ rolls his shoulder at two. Thim lands several stiff shots to Poe’s head, disorienting the champ, then tries to lock him in an Anaconda Vice. Poe blocks the move and sits up, forcing Thim back to the mat. A test of strength, of sorts, ensues, with both men sitting on the mat, trying to force the others shoulders down. Thim forces Poe back down, but can only keep his shoulders down for a one count. Poe powers back up and forces Thim’s shoulders down for two, before Thim rolls a shoulder to avoid being counted down. Before Thim can fight his way back up, Poe lifts his leg and drops it across Thim’s face. Thim releases Poe, and Poe gets to his feet, grabs Thim by the legs and quickly flips him over into a Boston crab!

Thim howls in pain, but will not quit. He slowly makes his way to the ropes and forces the break, but you can see the damage has been done. Thim slides to the outside, grabbing his lower back, while Poe gets to his feet inside the ring. Thim reaches in and pulls the champion to the floor, but Poe catches him with a kick to the mid-section before he can do anything. Poe then catches Thim with an uppercut that snaps Thim’s head back and sends him to the floor. Poe quickly pulls Thim to his feet and sends him back first into the ring post, Thim falls to his knees, and Poe charges and catches him with a boot to the jaw. The champ stands over the fallen Thim for a moment, then pulls him to his feet and rolls him under the ropes. Poe covers, but Thim manages to roll his shoulder at two.

Poe pulls Thim to his feet and lifts him, then drops him across his knee in a pendulum backbreaker, keeping him there and pushing down on his jaw trying to get the submission. Thim snarls in pain, but he will not quit. Finally Poe throws him off his knee and covers, but once again Thim kicks out at two.

The match continues on for several minutes, Poe punishes Thim’s back, and Thim fights back with kicks to Poe’s legs, trying to weaken his base. After nearly forty-five minutes of action, Poe pulls Thim up and tries a suplex, but his leg buckles just a little, enough to throw off his balance and let Thim land behind him. Thim immediately pounces and tries to lock on the tazzmission! Thim tries to pull Poe to the mat, but he can’t get the champ down on the canvas. Poe staggers around the ring while Thim hangs on like a bulldog. Finally Poe falls back into the corner and the back of Thim’s head SLAMS into the turnbuckle. Thim is a little rattled, and Poe regains his senses rather quickly. He tries to whip Thim across the ring, but Thim reverses it, then Poe reverses it again. Thim hits the ropes and barely has time to turn around for the rebound when he gets PASTED with the HIEROGLYPH! The kick nearly sends Thim out of the ring, but Poe grabs him and slams him to the mat, falls on him and covers, hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 40:10 - Poe

Poe gets to his feet and Selena comes into the ring and hands him the title. Poe watches Thim as he rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp. As Thim gets to the back, Tytan’s music plays, and when he turns back around to face the ramp, Tytan is already in the ring and he BLASTS Poe in the face with a chain sending the champ to the canvas. Tytan stands over Poe and wraps the chain around his throat and starts to pull him up, when he sees a very frightened Selena standing there. Tytan sneers and lets go of Poe and starts to back Selena into the corner. Before he can lay a hand on him, a bloody Poe gets to his feet, grabs Tytan from behind and rocks him with several shots to the head. Poe whips Tytan to the ropes, trying for the HIEROGLYPH but Tytan grabs the top rope and holds on, then slips out of the ring and heads up the ramp laughing, never taking his eyes off a seething Poe.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Territorial Beatings IV PPV, Live, June 7 from Torshavn, Faroe Islands! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! May 20th from Hollywood, Maryland

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com
Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

slight change in the tour itinerary since I screwed up the Tournament for the Titles just a bit. The PPV is pushed back until June 7 and one of the shows in Scotland is dropped so we could have the Territorial Beatings ppv in an actual territory (Faroe Islands). But, the good news is, the Mid-Summer Nights Scream ppv will be held in a castle.

It matters?

it's as good as any other no contest.

OOWF Rankings for 04/29/09[/u]

OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe (+10, 22-12)
1. The Dead – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+7, 11-4)
2. Thim Reynolds – OOWF Onslaught Champion (+1, 6-5)
3. Outback Jack (+8, 18-10)
4. Bryce Larson (+7, 19-12)
5. LD Williams (+5, 18-13)
6. Chris Evans (+5, 12-7)
7. Firewoman (+4, 18-14)
8. GatorBait (+4, 6-2)
9. Chad Madison (+4, 4-0)**
10. Tytan (+3, 20-17)
11. Davin Moreland (+3, 19-16)
12. Nayr (+3, 15-12)
13. Alexander Darling (+2, 18-16)
14. Skurge (+2, 18-16)
15. Moosehead Jack (+2, 15-13)
16. Stank (+2, 15-13)
17. Zane Myers (+2, 5-3)**
18. Beer Baron (+2, 3-1)**
19. The Amnesiac (E, 17-17)
20. Attitude Adjuster (E, 1-1)*
21. Johnny Adrenaline (E, 1-1)*
22. Matte (-1, 9-10)
23. SYB (-2, 16-18)
24. Spin Hansen (-5, 10-15)
25. DH Magnusson (-5, 9-14)
26. Concrete TG (-6, 14-20)
27. Seamus McNasty (-8, 11-19)
28. Blitz (-8, 6-14)

*OOWF World Tag Team Champions
**OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions


World Tag Team Rankings[/u]
OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Chickenshit Heels (E, 1-1)
1. The Team From Down Under (+5, 6-1)
2. The Heroes Guild (+3, 7-4)
3. Run DEA (+2, 3-1)
4. kz (-2, 1-3)
5. IHOP (-3, 3-6)
6. Cowboy Up (NR)

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, Alabama

TYTAN vs. Blitz

Blitz makes his way to the ring first and does his usual pre-match slide under the ropes and pose on the turnbuckle. He leaps off the ropes and runs around the ring waiting for his opponent to make his way to the ring. Tytan is announced and he slowly makes his way to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Blitz. As Tytan gets near the ring, blitz bounds off the ropes and dives over the top rope at Tytan. Blitz takes Tytan to the floor and immediately springs to his feet and climbs to the apron and waits for a beyond pissed off Tytan to get to his feet. As he does, Blitz leaps and tries to snap off a hurracanrana, but Tytan catches him, turns, and POWERBOMBS him through the Guatemalan Announce Table! Tytan stands over Blitz and stares down at him, the match has not officially started yet, so he cannot be disqualified. Tytan has a cold, blank stare on his face as he grabs a television monitor from the table and looks at it. Blitz gets to his feet and Tytan turns and lunges at him, SLAMMING the monitor against Blitz’s head! Blitz falls to the floor in a heap and Tytan tosses the monitor aside. Tytan pulls Blitz from the wreckage of the table and throws him into the stairs. The referee is urging Tytan to get into the ring so the match can officially start, but Tytan just turns and gives him a cold stare. Tytan moves in on Blitz, Blitz fires off a couple of shots to the gut, but Tytan cuts him off with a kick to the face. Tytan grabs Blitz and pulls him up, lifts him in a military press and drops him throat first onto the guard rail. Blitz’s head snaps back and he staggers and falls into the wreckage of the table. Tytan looks completely disconnected right about now, he does not care one bit what he does to Blitz. As Tytan reaches done for Blitz in the wreckage, Blitz SLAMS him on the head with the chair. Tytan grabs his head and staggers away, and Blitz gets to his feet and cracks the chair across his back. Blitz waits for Tytan to turn around then gets a running start at him for another chair shot, but Tytan swings and punches the chair back into Blitz’s face! Blitz falls to the floor again, and Tytan pulls him up and lifts him into the air and hits the STEINER SCEWDRIVER ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! The referee yells for Tytan to end the match, but Tytan just looks at him almost as if he does not comprehend what he is saying. But he does. Tytan looks down at Blitz, who is barely conscious and grins. Tytan walks over to the wreckage of the table and grabs another chair, and puts it around Blitz’s neck, and then slowly climbs onto the apron. The referee tries to stop him, but Tytan throws an elbow at him that sends him across the ring. That’ll be a fine right there. Tytan looks down at Blitz and is about to leap, Pillmanizing his neck, when Bryce Larson, Nayr and Concrete TG rush to ringside with chairs of their own. Tytan stares at them, and seems to contemplate attacking, but then drops off the apron and just heads to the back while they tend to their fallen stable mate.
WINNER – No Match

FIREWOMAN vs. MATTE vs. CONCRETE TG

The lights go out and the first notes of “With Jupiter in Mind" by Joe Satriani blare from the sound system. Crowd excitement builds until charging out of the curtain comes Concrete Tataken-Gryfon, Crete hits his familiar double bicep pose and pop goes the pyro…with that he is down the ramp and hi-fiving the fans, he runs up the stairs and up the turnbuckle to work the crowd.

“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” by Nirvana starts up and out walks Matte, very focused on Crete. He walks down the ramp and slides in under the ropes and meets Crete in the center of the ring. Both men do the necessary stare down and Matte offers his hand to Crete...Crete looks to the crowd and shakes his head noooooo...Matte offers it again with more flourish and Crete once again looks around for the crowds help…after a few seconds he extends his hand but as he does Matte lifts his hand up and through his hair in the age old school kid gesture of gotcha…and walks to the other corner. Crete is furious and is being held back by the referee.

Huge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and The Cult’s "Firewoman” blares out as Firewoman steps through the fire and out onto the ramp. She walks down the ramp looking like she would rather be anywhere else but here…with a vacant Kelly Kelly look in her eyes…she walks up the steps and ducks under the ropes…

The ref calls for the bell and off we go…Crete goes right after Matte. Grabbing him and muscling him into the corner, where he quickly hits Matte with kick to the mid section…Fire walks over and pushes Crete out of the way and hits Matte with her own kick to the gut…Crete not to be out done grabs Fire and slings her out of the ring then delivers another kick to the mid-section. Crete grabs Matte and tossing him to the far corner. Crete then prepares to follow Matte in with a Stinger splash but as he is charging across the ring Fire does a sling shot drop kick from outside the ring. She quickly covers Crete for an easy one count…

Fire is up and grabs Crete Leg before he can maneuver himself up. She quickly begins a spinning toe hold…once, twice…on the third spin around she is caught by Matte with a clothesline that slams her does but also twist Crete foot at the same time…Crete howls in pain and grabs his foot…Matte follows up on Fire with an elbow drop that nails her right in the sternum. Matte covers for the pin 1….2…and Fire pushes out…Matte grabs her as she sits up and puts her in a reverse chin lock…Really twisting on her neck…Crete is back up and slips in behind Matte to apply his own chin lock…huh you don’t see that very often double chin locks…

Matte releases his hold on Fire and stands up fully lifting Crete up and walking backward with Crete on his back…Matte makes his way to the turnbuckle and slams Crete into the turnbuckle…Crete releases the hold but Matte swings back once more to squeeze Crete into the corner…Fire is up and running from the far turnbuckle she does a handstand and attempts hew own reverse splash on both of her opponents, but Matte sees her coming and moves out of the way as she hits Crete hard in the corner…momentum carries her forward out of the corner and Matte meets her off a the ropes with a bulldog…he covers Fire…1….2…and Crete nails Matte in the side of his head with a big boat that breaks up the count and maybe his jaw…Matte rolls out of the ring and Crete picks up Firewoman…

Crete sends her to the ropes and sets for a backdrop but he sets to early and Fire jumps over him, hooking his arms and rolling him up for the pin…1….2….and Crete kicks out, Fire is up, Crete is up, Crete goes for a right but Fire ducks and goes behind Crete…Fire with the backside…1….2….2 ½ and Matte kicks Fire in the gut to break up the count…Fire almost had this one…Matte picks Fire up and catches her with a swinging neck-breaker that plants Fire in the middle of the ring. Matte for the cover..1…2…and Crete grabs his leg and lifts him off to save the pin…Crete attempts a figure four but Matte counters with a small package…1…2…3…with a handful of tights Matte steals another one…
WINNER in 18:52 Matte

Matte slides under the ropes and up the ramp…Fire sits up, sighs and slide out of the ring…Crete has the ref cornered in the ring grabbing at his tights and trying to explain to the ref that Matte cheated…The ref shrugs his shoulders and points to his eyes with his fingers giving Crete the universal sign for I have to see it before I can call it sign leaving Crete in the ring…Crete kicks the bottom ropes, waves to the crowds and makes his way through the ropes and back up the ramp…

RUN DEA vs. STANK & SPIN HANSEN

"Killing in the Name Of" fires up, ushering Run-DEA to the ring amidst of shower of provided pyro provided by the OOWF and trash, provided by the arena full of booing wrestling fans. Moreland and Darling slide into the ring, and the booing instantly changes to frenzied cheering as "Alcohaulin' Ass" signals the appreance of Drink and Destroy! Hansen and Stank take there time getting to the ring, playing up to their fans and making Run DEA wait it out a bit longer than they'd care to. The two finally slip into the ring and after another moment of the two playing to the crowd, Mel Creech calls for the bell, meaning we're UNDERWAY~!

Stank and Moreland to start things off, and the two circle each other for a moment before Davin sticks out a hand. Stank looks at it, looks to the crowd, and against the fans judgement offers his. Nice clean sportsmanlike handshake that seems to confuse the crowd for a moment before the lock up.

Both men struggle for position from the collar and elbow, neither giving and inch in the center of the ring. after a few moments they break, looking at each other before going back in. Same result, as neither man will surrender a bit of leverage to the other. The two rear back for a third, but Moreland feigns the collar and elbow, pulling Stank in with a side headlock. Quick shoot into the ropes, Moreland comes back with a shouldertackle, but Stank doesn't budge! Stank motions for him to try again and Davin obliges, and again Stank doesn't move. This time Moreland makes the offer and Stank shoots the ropes, launching himself into Davin...but Davin stands his ground. The two look at each other, and BOTH shoot off the ropes! Armdrag by Stank! Moreland lands hard and quickly scoots into the corner, staring at Stank with a look of shock!

"You can do an ARMDRAG?!"

Stank nods.

Moreland looks to Hansen, who registers his own suprise before sliding of to tag Darling as Stank tags in his stablemate, Spin Hansen.

Hansen and Darling cirlce each other, and this time is Darling offering the handshake. Spin takes it, but gets a thumb to eye for his troubles, followed by a quick knee to the midsection by Darling. Facebreaker by Darling to follow up has Hansen reeling, and a stnding shining wizard sends him crashing to the mat! Darling quick to cover:

1...
2..

Barely two as Hansen powers out, covering up as Darling puts the boots to him. Darling draws Hansen to his feet and plasters him with a stiff European uppercut that drives Hansen into the Run-Dea corner. Quick tag to Moreland who measures out a straight right to the midesection of Hansen, followed by a barrage of knees and elbows that leave his opponent in a heap on the mat. Creech moves in to back Moreland up and as he does Darling slips of the apron, choking the life out of the downed Hansen! Stank starts in, but he's cut off by Creech at Moreland's direction, giving Davin and Darling ample time to double team Spin. Creech turns around in ime to see Moreland gutwrenching Hansen back the center of the ring, diving in for a cover.

1...
2...

No! Spin rolls the shoulder at 2.999.

Quick tag to Darling and Run DEA use the five count to deliver a couple of stereo elbows in quick succession. Quick pick up by Darling as Moreland exits, Hansen shot into the ropes, leaping leg lariat by Darling connects, and Darling kips up...Somersault gulliotine legdrop! Darling signals that it's over, and loads Hansen up BRAINBUSTAH....Countered! Hansen slips over the top of the pick up catching Darling with a THUNDERING standing spinebuster as he turns around! Darling's head bounces off the mat as Hansen collapses himself, as the race is on...

Darling makes the tag to Moreland, but it's not in time to stop Spin from making the HOT TAG to a fired up Stank! Stank comes in a house of FIRE~! Running clothesline drops Moreland, and another as he gets to his feet. Darling tries to interfere, but eats a running forearm for his effort! Moreland back to his feet, STANDING POWERSLAM by Stank! Leg hooked:

1...
2...

Diving elbow by Darling breaks up the pin and brings Hansen back in, but only for a moment as he tackles Darling and sends himself and Darling over the top rope!

It's breaking down now, as Moreland and Stank go toe to toe in the ring exchanging blows, and Darling saves his own life on the outside, ducking away from the front kick against the post from Hansen. Moreland whips Stank hard into the turnbuckle, charging with a leaping back elbow, and going for a second whip...reversal by Stank leads to an AVALANCHE~! Stank with the pickup into the fireman's carry, here's comes the STANK-U...

No! Moreland grabs the ropes, hanging on long enough for Darling to grab Davin's boot, yanking him down. REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE! Davin hooks the leg with a handful of tights as Darling gets SPEARED out his boots by Hansen...

1...
2...
3!

WINNERS via PINFALL in 12:54 - RUN-DEA

KZ vs. THE HEROES GUILD

The arena lights dim and the crowd rises to its feet as “The Bridge of Khazad-Dum” plays. Suddenly the Heroes Guild – Bulletproof Bryce Larson and Nayr the Halfling Luchadore – burst through the curtain and sprint down the aisle. They slide into the ring and vault onto the turnbuckles, basking in the crowd's adoration. The cheers die, however, as the opening notes of “Scarecrow” play. L.D. Williams and Moosehead Jack step onto the stage and stare daggers at the heroes as they tape their fists and walk down the aisle. kz slide into the ring, and the heroes leap off the turnbuckles and drop them with stereo dropkicks. Both Heroes roll to their feet and grab kz in headlocks. Williams breaks free from Larson with a belly-to-back suplex, while Moose shoots Nayr into the ropes. Referee Angelo Barros steps between Williams and Larson and sends them to their corners and calls for the bell.

Nayr rebounds off the ropes and ducks a clothesline, then comes back with a flying forearm. He rolls right to his feet and goes to the ropes, catching Moose with a leg lariat as he gets up. He goes to the ropes again, but this time Moose sidesteps and plants him with a spinning side slam. Moose picks Nayr up with a two-handed choke and drives him back into the turnbuckles. He hits Nayr with chops hard enough to lift him off the mat, then sends him across the ring and follows him with a brutal clothesline. Nayr stumbles out of the corner and Moose kicks him in the stomach, then lifts him for a power bomb into the turnbuckles. Nayr shifts his weight, causing Moose to turn, then drops back over the ropes, hitting a hurricanrana that takes Moose out to the floor. Moose is up first and reaches for Nayr, but Larson runs along the apron and leaps, bulldogging Moose into the floor. Williams drops off the apron and circles the ring. He grabs Larson and slams a head butt into the back off his skull, then drops him with an inverted DDT. Barros is on the floor by this point as well, and he sends Williams back to his corner as Nayr drags Moose to his feet and shoves him into the ring.

Nayr rolls Moose to the middle of the ring and comes off the middle rope with a moonsault. He hooks the leg, but Moose kicks out at two. Nayr rolls to his corner, but Larson is still dazed on the floor. Nayr turns around, and Moose slams an elbow into his face. Moose hits a few punches, then sends Nayr across the ring. Williams hooks him from behind in a choke, and Moose spears him and makes the tag.

Williams comes in and snags Nayr in a half Nelson. Moose winds up and hits the Heart punch, and Williams takes Nayr over with a suplex. He bridges, and Barros counts One...Two...Thr – Larson breaks the pin with a flying leg drop! Moose tries to come in, but Barros cuts him off as Larson rolls out of the ring and goes to the Heroes' corner. Nayr crawls over to make the tag, but Williams grabs his ankle and drags him back. Nayr breaks free with an enzugiri and dives for the corner, but again, Williams cuts him off. He ties up Nayr's leg and cinches in the STF. Nayr struggles, but can't break free or reach the ropes. Larson is going ballistic on the apron, but his encouragement isn't enough to help Nayr. He tries to get in to help, but Barros cuts him off. Williams yells at Barros to look at Nayr, who's about to tap, and Larson takes advantage and hits a springboard dropkick to the face to break the hold. Barros sees the whole thing and chases Larson out of the ring, allowing Moose to come in and grab Nayr. Williams gets to his feet and kz lifts Nayr for a tandem suplex, then drive him face first into the mat! They scrape Nayr up and send him to the ropes, and hoist him for a flapjack, but Nayr manages to spring off of them and drop them both with a split-legged dropkick! Nayr turns his landing into a backward somersault and falls back into the Heroes' corner, tagging in his partner.

Larson vaults over the ropes and sprints across the ring, hitting Williams with a clothesline as he gets up. He hits the opposite ropes and comes back with a clothesline for Moose. Williams eats a dropkick, then Moose does the same. Larson sends Williams to the ropes and goes to the ropes himself, but Moose hits him with a fist to the stomach and holds him with a waist lock, and Williams hits him with the Canadian Destroyer. Moose rolls out of the ring and Williams makes the cover. Barros counts, but Nayr dives into the ring to break it up. Barros ushers him out, and Williams tosses Larson into the kz corner with an overhead release suplex. He makes the tag, and kz brutalizes Larson in the corner with punches and kicks until Barros forces Williams out of the ring.

Moose plants Larson with a body slam, than rolls him over and locks on the Jiendo, placing Barros between them and the Heroes' corner. Larson struggles and finally manages to reach the ropes, but it takes a lot out of him. Moose releases the hold and drives a knee into the back of Larson's neck. He drags Larson to the middle of the ring and makes a cover, but Larson kicks out at two. Moose sends Larson to the ropes, whiffs on a clothesline, but catches him with an elbow on the return trip. Larson staggers, and Moose plants him with a DDT. He foregoes the cover and drags him to the corner, where Williams slaps him on the back to tag himself in. Moose lifts Larson for a wheelbarrow suplex and Williams starts the springboard, but Nayr sprints across the ring, leapfrogs over Moose and his partner, and catches Williams in mid-air with a not-so-bad Diamond Cutter. Larson takes advantage and reverses Moose's suplex into a roll up, and Barros counts the three.
WINNERS, in 15:27, The Heroes Guild

After the match: Larson and Nayr slide out of the ring and celebrate as they back up the aisle, leaving kz in the ring, staring at them in shock.

COWBOY UP & BEER BARON vs. IHOP – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match

IHOP, accompanied by The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooh, Fezzik, Monkh and Jeffrey From Las Vegas (who appears to be drunk) make their way to the ring. SYB looks to be in an especially foul mood. The OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions Cowboy Up and Beer Baron are announced and they make their way to the ring. As they step between the ropes, SYB produces a mic, AGAIN, and who knows from where. Before he can say another word though, The Amnesiac and Skurge take the mic from him and toss it out of the ring. They argue among themselves for a moment, then turns and charge across the ring and attack the champs.

The Amnesiac and SYB attack Zane Myers and Chad Madison and send them to the mat with rights and lefts. SYB tackles Beer Baron and the two of them tumble out of the ring to the floor, where SYB continues to hammer away. Inside the ring, Skurge whips Madison to the ropes and falls to the mat, as Madison steps over The Amnesiac, Skurge catches him with a drop kick to the jaw that sends him out of the ring. Zane Myers has regained his composure and grabs The Amnesiac from behind as he gets to his feet and PLANTS him with a scorpion death drop. Skurge pops up and he and Myers go at one another while the Amnesiac and Chad Madison powder out of the ring.

On the outside, Baron pulls SYB to his feet and shoves him against the guard rail, he charges, but SYB back drops him into the crowd! The crowd catches Beer and they bodysurf him around and set him gently down on the floor at ringside. SYB stares, hate in his eyes. Baron high fives a couple of fans, and SYB charges at him, but Baron sees him coming and backdrops him. As SYB is heading toward the crowd, instead of catching him, the crowd parts and SYB slams onto the concrete floor. He grabs his back in pain and curses the fans, the fans parents, and all of the fans family pets.

Back inside the ring, Myers has Skurge on the mat and is working the arm trying to trap Skurge in a fujiwara arm bar, but Skurge fights it and manages to work to one knee, keeping the bigger Myers on the mat. Skurge gets to his feet and has Myers shoulders down and gets a quick two count before Myers rolls his shoulder. Skurge slowly pulls his arm free, and before Myers can do anything, he connects with a stop to the face. Skurge grabs Myers arm and pulls him to the corner and tags in The Amnesiac, TA climbs to the top rope and hits a falling head but and covers, but Madison charges into the ring and breaks it up before the ref counts two.

On the outside, Beer Baron pulls SYB back over the guard rail and hammer him with rights and lefts to the side of the head. Inside the ring, The Amnesiac pulls Myers to his feet and hits a savate kick to the back of the head that staggers the big man. The Amnesiac takes a few steps back and waits for Myers to get to his feet. At the same time, Beer rolls SYB hack into the ring and hops up onto the apron. SYB gets to his feet, and shouts an obscenity at Beer, then turns his attention to what is going on in the ring……just as The Amnesiac throws a super kick at Myers jaw! The move catches SYB flush on the nose (a pretty easy target to hit) and he falls to the mat, bloody and barely conscious.

The Amnesiac stares for a moment, shocked at what has just happened. SYB walked right into the move! Myers takes advantage of the situation by blindsiding The Amnesiac with a devastating clothesline from hell, then drags TA over to their corner and makes the tag to Chad Madison. Zane scoops The Amnesiac up and drops him across his knee, and Madison climbs to the top rope and leaps, dropping a leg right across The Amnesiac’s chest! Madison covers, and Myers and Beer keep Skurge at bay, and the referee counts one, two, three!
WINNERS in 10:41 – Cowboy Up & Beer Baron

THIM REYNOLDS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

As both men make their way to the ring, Russ & Razz run down the rules for the OOWF Onslaught Championship Match.

Russ: Razz, this is it. The Onslaught Title is on the line as Thim Reynolds defends against Seamus McNasty.
Razz: You’ve got that right, Russ. The Onslaught Championship features the most unique rules of the entire OOWF. Remember, the wrestlers get three warnings for an illegal move—
Russ: Such as hair pulling, eye poking, using a closed fist or hitting a low blow—
Razz: And if those three warnings are used, you get disqualified.
Russ: Exactly, Razz! Plus, the wrestlers only get three rope breaks—
Razz: After that, you can’t use the ropes to break, and the ropes are in play to be used against you.
Russ: And if the champ is intentionally counted out or gets disqualified, the title changes hands.
Razz: But that’s enough from us for now, Russ. Everyone’s in the ring, ready to go. Let’s do this!

Seamus & Thim lock-up, and both men jockey for a position advantage. Neither gives an inch, and they break in the middle of the ring! They lock-up a second time, but remain at a stalemate when they break in the center of the ring. There’s a third lock-up, and Seamus pushes Thim into the corner, and Barros forces a break! He counts…1…2…3…4…and Seamus breaks. Barros then says something to the ring announcer.

RA: Thim Reynolds has been charged with his first rope break!

Reynolds is livid, and Seamus looks surprised as well. Barros informs the champ that he used the rope to break out of the lock-up. We kick it to replay, and it shows that Reynolds, when backed into the corner, did wrap his right arm around the top rope. While likely unintentional, it does force a Seamus off, and is charged as a rope break. Seamus is amused at this, and Thim takes exception to his amusement by punching him in the face! Barros signals to the ring announcer once again…

RA: Thim Reynolds has been issued his first warning for a closed fist punch!

Upon hearing this, Reynolds starts to yell at the ring announcer until Barros reminds him of what he already knows, that a closed fist will cost you a warning. Reynolds, still frustrated, pushes Barros away and tackles Seamus down, throwing repeated rights to his face. Barros pulls him off, and informs him that he just lost his last two warnings.

RA: Thim Reynolds has been issued his second warning for pushing the referee, and has been issued his third warning for using closed fist punches. One more illegal maneuver and Reynolds will be disqualified, and will lose the Onslaught Championship!

Russ: Five minutes into the match, and Reynolds is already out of warnings!
Razz: I can’t believe it Russ, I cannot believe it!

Reynolds is completely beside himself at this point, and Seamus takes the opportunity to school boy Seamus…1…2…NO! Seamus is nearly pinned 5 minutes in! Both men are up, and Seamus takes Reynolds over with a Regal plex…1…2…NO! Reynolds kicks out, and Seamus immediately charges. Thim is ready this time, catching Seamus with a small package…1…2…NO! Seamus rolls through…1…2…NO! This time it’s Thim who rolls through and has Seamus pinned…1…2…NO! Both men are near the ropes, and Seamus grabs the bottom rope, preventing the loss.

RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his first rope break!

Reynolds, still upset by what happened earlier, starts to yell at Seamus, and Seamus spits in his face! Reynolds rears back to punch Seamus, but looks at Barros and changes his mind. Instead he slaps Seamus right in the face! Seamus is pissed, but Barros motions that it’s an open handed slap, and it’s legal. So Seamus grabs Thim’s arm and goes behind for a hammerlock. Thim reverses out, and give Seamus repeated right & left handed slaps right to the face! Seamus pushed Thim away and levels him with a big right to the chin! Seamus drops in a heap, but Barros yells at Seamus for using a closed fist!

RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his first warning for an illegal closed fist punch!

Seamus looks at Barros, smiles, and this time HE tackles Thim and punches him in the face repeatedly until Barros pulls him off. Barros signals to the ring announcer once more.

RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his second warning for the illegal closed fist punches!

Barros turns back around to see that Seamus is sitting Thim up on the second turnbuckle, with his legs spread over both ropes. Seamus revs up in the opposite corner when Barros realizes what’s about to happen. Barros yells “NOOOOOO!” as Seamus runs across the ring and kicks Thim square in the nuts…Shattered Dreams! Barros looks at the ring announcer, who already knows what to do.

RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his third and final warning for an illegal low blow. One more illegal move and Seamus will be disqualified!

Barros yells at Seamus, who simply laughs at Thim, who groans in pain on the mat. Seamus grabs Thim and locks in an abdominal stretch, pulling on the free leg for extra leverage. Thim gets that leg out from Seamus’s grasp, and tries to turn free from the move. Seamus stays with him, turning towards the ropes. As the referee asks Thim if he wants to submit, Seamus hooks the rope with his ankle for extra added leverage. Barros turns around and catches Seamus, and looks to call for the bell! Seamus stops him (still holding the abdominal stretch), and Barros explains that he’s out of warnings. Seamus claims he thought Thim was out of rope breaks, and Barros explains he’s only used one. During the confusion, Thim hip tosses Seamus over, putting the challenger on his back! Thim reaches down, but Seamus kicks him right in the face! Thim is groggy on his feet, so Seamus gets up and kicks him in the face a second time! As Thim is about to fall, Seamus locks in the abdominal stretch once again. Thim tries to get out, but Seamus locks it in tighter as Barros is seemingly going to let Seamus’s “miscalculation” go, as the match continues.

Thim continually tries to get out, turning and getting closer to the ropes, finally grabbing the top rope. Barros calls for the break, then signals for the ring announcer.

RA: Thim Reynolds has been charged with his second rope break!

Thim puts one leg over the middle rope, further forcing the break, so Seamus simply kicks him in the hamstring, with Thim dropping down, inadvertently crotching himself on the middle rope. Seamus grabs the leg as Thim gets to his feet, and Seamus drags him to the center of the ring, repeatedly kicking his hamstring. Seamus then locks in a half-crab, continually tweaking the already that hurt hamstring. Thim refuses to quit, but Barros continues to ask. Thim is crawling towards the ropes, but stops, considering if he should use that last rope break. Seamus is yelling for Thim to grab the rope, at one point looking to Barros to see if Thim grabbed the rope. As Barros shakes his head “No,” Thim grabs Seamus’s ankle, pulling him down, face first to the mat.

Russ: I think Seamus’s nose just smacked the canvas!
Razz: He might have a broken nose Russ, his nose might be broken!

As Seamus grabs his nose, Thim grabs a hold of the foot, and suddenly has Seamus trapped in The Reflex-O-Lock! Seamus feels the pain, but then the look on his face changes! Thim smiles, as he realizes the true impact of the Reflex-O-Lock is taking effect. Seamus drags both men over, and grabs the bottom rope to break.

RA: Seamus McNasty has been charged with his second rope break!

Seamus immediately stands up, and calls for a time out. Barros reminds Seamus that there are no timeouts in wrestling, and Seamus informs Barros that he has to use the bathroom! Thim laughs, knowing that the Reflex-O-Lock has worked. Seamus lunges towards Thim, but stops and grabs himself to prevent and leakage. Thim then gets a maniacal look on his face, and locks in a testicular claw! Seamus immediately grabs the ropes, and Barros calls for the break.

RA: Seamus McNasty has used his third and final rope break. He can no longer use the reps to break a hold, and the ropes are in play against him.

While Barros is telling the ring announcer about the final rope break, Seamus kicks Thim in the balls! “The only man who touches my McNasty McNuggets is me! And my doctor!” Thim doubles over as Barros turns back around. Barros pretty much knows what happened, but he didn’t see it, so he can’t call it. Seamus brings Thim to the corner, and sets him up for The Centric Cross.

Seamus makes it to the second rope, and lifts Thim up onto his shoulders. Before he can lean forward, Thim kicks him with the flat of his foot in the small of the back, sliding over and landing on his feet. Seamus’s momentum takes him over into a sunset flip on Thim. But Thim grabs Seamus’s ankles, leaning forward and grabs the ropes!

Russ: Seamus is out of rope breaks, Thim can use the ropes for leverage!

Barros drops down for the count, not worrying about Thim in the ropes! 1…2…3! Thim Reynolds retains the Onslaught Championship!
WINNER in 26:17 and STILL OOWF Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds!

Seamus argues with the Barros, who tells to him that he was out of rope breaks, thus Thim using the ropes was 100% legal. Seamus looks to the ring announcer, who holds up his tracking chart to prove that Seamus was indeed out of rope breaks. Thim hugs the Onslaught Championship belt as he heads to the back.

THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

The Team From Down Under are out first, and they do not look the slightest bit happy. The head to the ring and wait, chomping at the bit to get their hands on the team that most likely cost them the tag titles. The Chickenshit Heels are announced, and they come out to the top of the ramp, they have the tag titles around their waist, and are holding Phantos & Lucios’ masks in their hands (how do they keep getting them?) They make it about halfway down the ramp when they are met by Jack and Gator, and the fight is on. The Aussies overwhelm TCH with punches and kicks, beating them down to the ground. Jack grabs Johnny by the leg, and Gator does the same to AA and they drag them down the ramp toward the ring. Jack pulls Johnny to his feet and sends him into the ring. The Aussies then pull AA to his feet and double whip him into the ring post, AA slams into the post, his head echoing with a loud, disturbing thud. AA falls to the floor, and once the camera catches up with the action, we see that he is a bloody mess.

Inside the ring, Jack is the legal man, and he pulls Johnny to his feet as the referee calls for the bell for the official start of the match. Jack scoops Adrenaline up and slams him on the mat, then bounds off the ropes and drops a fist right between Johnny’s eyes. Jack pulls Johnny up and sends him to the ropes and on the rebound, elevates him with a big back body drop. Jack tags in Gator, who quickly comes onto the ring and drops a knee across Johnny’s chest. They don’t even bother with a cover, opting to punish Johnny some more. Adrenaline is sent to the ropes, Gator reaches back and tags in Jack again, then catches Johnny in a bear hug. Jack charges into the ring and they connect with a Hart attack clothesline on Adrenaline. Gator grabs Johnny’s legs and catapults him up, right into a big boot from Jack. OBJ falls across Johnny and covers, but somehow he kicks out at two. Jack is quickly up to his feet and he sends Adrenaline to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon, and Johnny catches him with a sick DDT. Both men are down, Jack shakes the cobwebs out, and make the tag to Gator, while Johnny crawls to his corner and finds……nothing.

The camera pans around and we see AA just starting to stir on the outside, crawling toward the apron, trying to wipe the blood from his eyes. Gator catches Johnny with a kick to the back of the head, then drags him to the middle of the ring and mounts him, and hammers him with straight rights to the face. Gator pulls Johnny up and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Gator follows him out and Jack distracts the referee. With the ref looking elsewhere, Gator grabs a chair and SLAMS it across Adrenaline’s face, sending him to the floor as well.

AA is finally on the apron, but he is bleeding badly and has to use the ropes to keep himself on the apron. Johnny tries to crawl away but Gator grabs him and rolls him back into the ring. Johnny tries to get to his corner, but Gator gets between him and the corner. Adrenaline begs for mercy but Gator grabs his head and is about to hammer him with shots to the head. The referee steps in and warns Gator about using a closed fist. While he is doing that, Johnny grabs the referee and hits a LOW BLOW ON THE REF! The referee doubles over in pain, waving for the bell the entire time! Johnny rolls out of the ring, away from a stunned Gator. AA jumps off the apron and they snatch the titles and head up the ramp. Just as they are trying to put the masks back on, Run DEA charges out from the back. Johnny and AA turn back toward the ring, but The Team From Down Under are closing in on them.

The Chickenshit Heels hop the railing and escape through the (relative) safety of the crowd. They will live to fight another day it seems.
WINNERS by Disqualification in 9:31 – The Team From Down Under

THE DEAD vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

“Doomsday Clock” comes over the PAs, and the crowd cheers The Dead’s entrance. He’s on a remarkable winning streak, is this going to be yet another win? Or will Chris Evans be the one to end The Dead’s streak? We don’t have to wait to find out because of poorly placed commercial breaks, like those OTHER promotions, because here comes Chris “Lionheart” Evans to Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper.” The two meet in the ring, and, after Angelo Barros calls for the bell, the two slap hands and go.

With your opening lock up, things are fairly even. They maneuver each other back and forth, exchanging arm locks and such. Evans gets the advantage first, shoving The Dead into the ropes, and back into a clothesline. The Dead goes down, and Evans follows up with a couple of elbow drops. Dead is tough though, and a couple of elbows aren’t going to keep him down. On the third elbow drop, Dead makes his move, grabbing Evans around the neck. He stands, bringing Evans with him, and gets him up and over in a quick suplex. He goes for a cover, and Evans kicks out at two. Both men stand. Dead looks at him and smiles, as in “I can pin you whenever I want.” Evans smiles back, as in “and I can kick out whenever I want.” They lock up again, maneuver around each other, and Evans again shoves Dead to the ropes. This time when Dead bounces out, its foot first, doubling Evans over. He bounces off the other ropes, and comes flying in with a Bulldog. He has a little too much momentum though, and lands a bit awkwardly. Which gives Evans the opportunity to recover a bit and go for a roll up. Again, though, it’s too early, and Dead kicks out at barely one. Again, the men stand and grin at each other. It’s your third lock up of the match, and this time Dead pushes Evans into the corner. He holds him there for a while, until Barros threatens to count. Dead steps back and hits a huge backhand chop (WOOOOoooo) that echoes through the rafters. He follows it with a second (WOOOOoooo) and a third (WOOOoooo). Evans staggers out and falls to his knees, clutching his chest. Dead capitalizes and leaps on top of Evans, applying the Deathlock. He gets one leg of it locked in pretty good, but the other leg not so much. Still, he’s got a hold on it, and Evans strains towards the ropes. Barros leans down next to Evans and asks him if he’s going to tap, but Evans shakes his head. He does the obligatory reach for the ropes…almost….almost….almost….but no, as Dead realizes what he’s doing, and pulls him back towards the center. But by pulling him, the weak hold Dead had on the one leg gets weaker, and Evans is able to pull it out and kick Dead into the ropes. Dead lands across the second ropes, in perfect 6-1-9 position, but Evans isn’t from San Diego. He runs (with an almost imperceptible limp) up and pulls on the rope, choking Dead. Barros yells at him to release, and then begins the count. One, two, three…and Evans releases. Dead staggers back, clutching his throat. He glares at Evans, and goes after him, running him into the corner with punch after punch after punch. Referee Barros reminds Dead of the rules, and then begins the count. Dead steps back after about four, and then turns and hits a recovering Evans with the Bitchslap of Disrespect. Evans spins around from the blow, and Dead catches him from behind with a neckbreaker. There are no smiles between these two now, as Dead makes the cover. Evans gets a shoulder up at two. Dead once again tries to get the Deathlock, but Evans scrambles for the ropes. Dead reaches through to try and get him, but is again admonished by Barros. Dead backs off, clearly annoyed, as Evans has dropped down to the floor, greatly angered by the Bitchslap. He grabs a chair and throws it into the ring. Barros does that arm wavy thing that all referees do, as Evans climbs in. Barros grabs the chair, and then appears to warn both Evans and Dead that any further shenanigans will not result in any of this counting nonsense, but an immediate disqualification. Both wrestlers nod, but continue to glare at each other.

Barros turns to toss the chair out of the ring, and Evans responds to Dead with a thumb to the eye!! He’s clearly been hanging around RunDEA too long, or is just THAT angry at that bitchslap. Dead grabs his eye as Barros turns back around, completely clueless as to why he’d be doing that. Evans lands his Clothesline from Hades (lariat), and Dead goes down. Evans runs to the ropes and goes for the Springboard Moonsault. He hits it and now Dead is pinned. But he gets his shoulder up at two. Evans administers a few punches, and pulls Dead up into a fireman’s carry. But Dead wriggles free and slides down behind Evans. He pushes Evans off and goes for a frantic Close the Casket. But his aim is off, maybe because of the thumb to the eye from earlier, he doesn’t see Evans dodge at the last minute, and hits Referee Barros! Barros spins around to the corner and tries to recover, holding his jaw. Evans slides out and goes after the chair again. Dead reaches down over the ropes and grabs it out of Evans hands. He pulls it back to toss it behind him, but just at that moment, Barros recovers, turns and sees Dead with the chair, and calls for the bell.
WINNER in 23:11 by Disqualification – Chris Evans


POE vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

“Calm Before the Storm” comes over the sound system, and we've finally reached our main event for the evening. DH Magnusson makes his way down to the ring, having all sorts of Run DEA heat thrown his way. In typical DH fashion, he pretty much shrugs it off and climbs into the ring. “Misera Cantare” quickly cuts in, and uber-popular OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe appears at the top of the ramp with Selena Gomez in tow. They get to the ring and Poe tries to do his 4-corner Poe's just Mags jumps him at the bell! Davis Hightower quickly calls for the bell and we're underway!

Mags is landing brutal forearms and elbows to Poe's back; he's just smashing him into the corner. Mags retreats a couple of steps and hits a splash, and Poe is rocking the Undertaker-not-really-knowing-where-he-is spot. DH winds up for a big kick to the back, and Poe is wobbly. DH stands aside Poe and looks to hit a Side Russian Leg Sweep...he's not going for Dream Street already, is he? We'll never know, because Poe gets the hell out of Dodge when he realizes his predicament. Hightower starts to count, and Mags looks on menacingly. By the count of 3, Mags gets impatient and rolls out after Poe, and bundles him into the STEEL STEPS. Poe's a big guy, so they go flying. DH does some highly technical grab-Poe's-hair-and-smash-him-into-the stairs moves, and Poe just can't get out of the gate. A trickle of blood starts dripping from Poe's forehead. Mags hits a big BULLDOG on the STEEL STEPS, and Poe looks unconscious. Finally, DH feels that's probably enough punishment, and, with some effort, gets Poe rolled into the ring. Mags slips on the apron trying to get into the ring, but eventually does get in and cover the lifeless Poe...1...2...NO! Poe BARELY rolled the shoulder and DH slaps the mat several times in frustration.

Mags drags the big man up, and hits a Hangman's Neck breaker, which isn't going to feel very good. He drags Poe and props him up in the corner. Mags takes a couple of steps backward before hitting a THUNDERCRACK. Poe's eyes roll back in his head as he flops to the mat. DH covers! New Champ? 1...2...th...NO! Poe is able to get the shoulder up, and this time Mags isn't playing around. He gets Poe to his feet just to blast him with the JERSEY HAMMER. DH covers immediately...1..2...NO! DH is fuming, but suddenly he gets a sick and eerie look of calm on his face as he pulls Poe up once again. He stands next to him, locking Poe in for another Side Russian Leg sweep...and he's going for Dream Street again! He tries is and somehow Poe blocked the leg sweep! Poe snarls and hits a Sidewalk Slam, and that gives him some time to regroup. Hightower starts a count, but Mags is up pretty quickly at 3. He crosses the ring to where Poe is crumpled in a heap, and looks to go for the good ol' Footstomp. But Poe grabs DH's foot on the way down! He stands up with a severely irritated look in his eye, and hits a DRAGON SCREW on DH, and it was a good one, because Mags is holding his knee.

Poe clearly doesn't care, as he drops an elbow to DH's neck. Mags tries to get up, but Poe is right on him and grabs him. He pulls up and delivers a monster OBELISK on Mags and both men are down again. Poe is up first at 6, but Mags isn't far behind and rushes at Poe. Poe uses DH's momentum against him, and is easily able to lock him in for a Powerbomb Lungblower! Poe covers, but DH is able to kick out at 2. Poe, still a little bloody, wipes some from his eyes as it appears he's made a full recovery. Another Elbow Drop from Poe, this time to the throat, and Mags is suddenly in huge trouble. Poe drags Mags to his feet, but Mags bravely fights back with lefts and rights, and appears to stagger Poe. DH hits the far ropes and looks to take the big man down, but Poe DESTROYS him with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe signals to the crowd, and pulls DH in. This might do it! He gets Poe up and...CRUCIFIXION! Good night folks, drive home safely!
WINNER in 13:16 by Pin fall...POE!

Post-match, Mags powders to the floor as Selena and Poe pose with the belt a little bit in the ring. Suddenly, out of nowhere, TYTAN comes flying into the ring and nails Poe with the chain wrapped around his fist! He rips off 6 or 7 brutal shots to the face as Selena screams from the outside to her fallen...whatever he is. Tytan grabs a chair and drags Poe to the closest top turnbuckle and hits him with THE ECLIPSED! Right on the Steel chair! The crowd is shitting all over this, obviously, and Tytan does some sinister posing in the ring. Suddenly there seems to be movement from the crowd, and someone flies into the ring! Tytan turns and eats a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, and Davin Moreland poses over Tytan. The fuck? Davin already had a brutal match tonight, and...came out to save Poe? To kill Tytan? Davin throws Tytan to the outside, and Selena meekly comes to the ropes as if seeking permission. Davin simply eyes her and grabs the OOWF Heavyweight Championship. He looks at it for a bit before busting out a wicked grin, and draping the belt over the lifeless corpse of Poe and patting it a couple of times. The boom mics pick up Davin saying “anytime I want” before he leaves the ring. As Davin makes his way up the ramp, Poe stirs in the ring, and he sits up and grabs his title and stares at Davin, and then out at Tytan, who is back on his feet. Davin makes sure to mention once again “any time I want” as he is backing up the ramp, but he never sees LD Williams coming. Williams spins Davin around, kicks him low, and hits the CANADIAN DESTROYER on the ramp! Davin is DEAD! LD looks at Tytan, then looks down at Davin, who is just stirring a little, then holds his hand out to Poe, written on Williams hand, in what appears to be blood is the Roman numeral five. Poe smirks in the ring, and without a word, LD turns and heads to the back.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Territorial Beatings IV PPV, Live, May 31 from Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! May 6th from Hollywood, Florida.

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POE vs. STANK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title 2 out of 3 Falls Match
Stank heads to the ring first, he appears to be focused on the match, but somewhere in the back of his mind he has to be wondering who attacked his stable mates Jack and Gator. Doesn’t seem to matter though, Stank steps between the ropes and heads to the corner and waits. “Misera Cantare” plays and Poe comes out to the top of the ramp with the OOWF title around his waist, a black towel over his head, and Selena skipping at his side. They make their way to the ring and Poe hears a few more boos than usual, most likely due to the company he keeps and the man he is facing. They get to the ring and Poe holds the ropes for Selena then steps over the top rope and into the ring. Selena skips around the ring holding her nose, but then sees Poe is giving her a disapproving look. Poe hands the title to the referee who holds it up in the air, then hands it to Selena and she leaves the ring to sit ringside. The entire time, Stank and Poe eye each other warily from across the ring. The bell rings, but neither man moves. The referee barks at them to get the match started and finally they move to the center of the ring and lock up.

The two big men grunt like bulls trying to push the other around, but neither man takes a step backward. Finally they break and stare at one another. Stank motions for Poe to hit the ropes, he does, and on the rebound, Stank takes him to the mat with a shoulder block. Poe quickly gets to his feet and dares Stank to do the same, Stank obliges, hitting the ropes, but on the rebound, Poe catches him with a big power slam! Poe covers, but Stank kicks out before the referee even hits the mat to start the count. Stank gets to one knee and glares at Poe, Poe just grins and evil grin, and charges in and catches Stank with a kick to the face that sends him between the ropes to the floor.

Poe follows Stank to the outside and pulls him to his feet and whips him to the stairs. Stank tries to stop, but he can’t and slams his lower back and hip into the stairs, which do not move. Stank grabs his side in pain, but Poe doesn’t give him a moment’s rest, he pulls Stank to his feet and rolls him into the ring, and follows, then immediately drops a knee across Stank’s hip. Poe grabs Stank’s leg and turns him over in a half crab, bending back the leg with the injured him as far as he can. Stank grimaces in pain, but will not give up. He slowly inches his way toward the ropes and grabs the bottom rope and slides to the floor and tries to walk the pain out of his hip. Stank is already showing a noticeable limp and grimaces when he takes a step. Poe reaches out and grabs Stank and tries to pull him back into the ring. He gets him onto the apron, then Stank catches him with a forearm to the side of the head stunning the champ. Stank runs Poe down the apron and slams his head into the turnbuckle, as Poe staggers a bit, Stank catches him with a clubbing clothesline that sends the champ to the mat.

Stank steps between the ropes and drops an elbow across Poe’s chest and gets a one count. Stank flips Poe over and repeatedly drives a knee into his lower back, then gets to his feet and hits a falling head but right to the small of Poe’s back. Stank straddles Poe and drops all his weight right onto Poe’s back, then traps him in a camel clutch. Stank pulls back as hard as he can, and even manages to get in a couple of brutal cross face shots across Poe’s nose and eyes. Poe snarls in pain, but he will not quit. Poe slowly, amazingly, works his way to his feet with Stank on his back! AMAZING! Poe falls backward and both men lie on the mat gasping for air. Poe gets to one knee, and Stank gets to his feet. Stank grabs his head and slams him with a head but, then works Poe over with several bear like clubbing shots to the head, stunning Poe. Stank pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a big belly to belly suplex, driving Poe to the canvas. Stank covers, but can only get a two count before the champ rolls his shoulder. Both men are to their feet and Stank tries to whip Poe into the corner, but Poe reverses it and sends Stank in, Poe charges in for a shoulder block, but Stank side steps and Poe slams HEAD FIRST into the ring post! He didn’t even get his hands up in time to cushion the blow. Poe is dazed and Stank grabs him from behind and rolls him up, putting all his weight over Poe’s legs and gets the one, two, THREE! WINNER in 12:41 – Stank, Stank leads 1 fall to 0

Poe rolls to the outside and we see a big knot on his head where he hit the ring post. It is bleeding slightly and Poe’s eyes look glassy. Selena looks shocked and concerned. The referee calls for the second fall to start, and Stank leaves the ring and grabs Poe and shoots him back into the ring. Just for fun, he flinches at Selena, she yelps and scurries away to the safety of the Portuguese Announce Table. Stank climbs back into the ring and sees Poe on one knee still trying to clear the cobwebs. Stank pulls him to his feet and traps both arms and repeatedly slams him in the face with head butts. The knot on Poe’s head is not completely opened and blood is gushing from the wound. Stank lets Poe go and he staggers backward into the corner, Stank immediately charges in and catches him with a clothesline, then grabs him for the bulldog, but Poe holds onto the ropes. Stank turns to grab Poe, and Poe catches him with a STIFF elbow right above the eye. Stank staggers away, falling to one knee, and grabbing his head. When we see Stank again, we see that that elbow opened a nasty gash right above his eye.

So now both men are bleeding. Poe seems to have regained some of his senses and he pulls Stank up, lifts him and drives him to the mat with a spine buster, covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Poe grabs Stank’s leg (the injured one, OMG continuity!) and twists it, kicking his hamstring and the back of his knee. Poe looks like he is trying to rotate Stank’s hip right out of socket, and Stank looks to be in a pretty good amount of pain. After several agonizing minutes, Stank has just about worked his way to the ropes when Poe pulls him back to the middle of the ring and traps him in a figure four leg lock! Stank fights it and fights it and finally manages to reverse the hold. Poe immediately breaks the hold and both men slowly get to their feet. As Poe stands up against the ropes, Stank charges and clotheslines him over the top rope. Poe lands on his feet and grabs Stank’s leg and pulls him to the outside as well.

Once on the outside both men trade haymakers, then Poe connects with a hard kick to Stank’s knee. That’s when things get chippy. Stank charges at Poe and takes him to the floor, and both men throw down, landing hard shots to the head and face. Stank pulls Poe to his feet and slams him head first onto the ring post. Poe staggers and falls to the floor. Poe could very well have a concussion. The champ tries to get to his feet, but falls to the floor again. The champ is in trouble. Stank adds to his woes with another stiff kick to the head. Stank pulls Poe up and sends him into the ring, then follows. Stank pulls Poe up and sends him to the ropes and connects with a BRUTAL spine buster. Poe’s head SLAMS off the mat. Stank gets to his feet and calls for the STANK-U! The fans erupt as Stank pulls him up and gets Stank on his shoulders, but Poe slips off Stank’s shoulders, lands on his feet and shoves Stank to the ropes, and hits the HIEROGLIPH! He nearly kicks Stank’s head into the 10th row! Poe falls on Stank and covers, hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three! WINNER in 16:11 (28:52 overall) – Poe – Series is tied 1-1

Both men struggle to their feet, Poe is still a little glass eyed, and Stank is having trouble putting too much weight on that leg. Stank charges at Poe and Poe back drops him over the ropes to the floor. Poe slips out of the ring and rummages under the ring and pulls out a table and sets it up. He grabs Stank and rolls him onto the Prince Edward Island Announce Table, sending the announcers scattering. Poe climbs up after him and grabs Stank, he is going to try and POWERBOMB him! Poe tries several times, but can’t get Stank up, and finally Stank escapes by back dropping Poe THROUGH the table! Selena covers her mouth in shock, and looks on. Stank stands up then hits a STANKSAULT off the announce table and through the wreckage of the broken table! Poe is DEAD! The crowd pops the appropriate HOLY SHIT! Chant. Stank slowly gets to his feet and rolls Poe into the ring and falls across him, draping his arm across the champs shoulders, one, two, thr…….NO!

Stank pulls Poe up and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a forearm to the head that sends Poe staggering right to the mat. Looked like a knockout punch in a heavyweight fight. Stank pulls Poe to the middle of the ring again and covers again, and again, only gets a two count. This time Stank pulls Poe up and grabs him around the waist in a bear hug. Poe fights for breath and hits a couple of weak shots to Stank’s head, but Stank is holding on like a pit bull. The camera catches a good look at Poe’s eyes, and he looks like he is somewhere else at the moment. Stank lifts Poe off the ground and leans forward so Poe’s shoulders are on the mat. Stank gets another two count, but Poe comes to quickly and rolls his shoulder. Stank gets several more two counts before lifting Poe back to a vertical position. Poe appears to be out of it so the referee grabs his arm and checks. His arm falls once, twice, thre…..NO! Poe keeps his arm up and gets a forearm under Stank’s chin and pushes his head back until Stank has no choice but to break the hold.

Poe finally gets a little separation and kicks Stank in the gut, then throws him into the corner. As he is headed to the corner, Stank’s leg buckles and he falls to the mat, and slams his head onto the second turnbuckle. Stank slumps to the mat, but Poe can’t immediately take advantage of it because he drops to one knee. Both men are weak from injury and blood loss. Poe is up first and he grabs Stank’s legs and pulls him to the middle of the ring and starts a GIANT SWING! Oh dear GOD! Poe spins Stank several times, then lets him go, Stank rolls across the ring and under the bottom rope to the floor, Poe drops to one knee and grabs his head. I suppose spinning around when you probably have a concussion is not the best option. Stank climbs back onto the apron and Poe hooks him and brings him in with a suplex, then floats over and covers, but Stank kicks out at two.

Poe is up once again and he pulls Stank to his feet and sends him to the corner, then charges in for a splash, but Stank catches him and CHOKESLAMS him to the mat! Stank pulls Poe to the corner and climbs to the second rope, looks like he might try another Stanksault! But before he can get all the way to the top, Poe gets to his feet and gets under Stank, and winds up with Stank over his shoulder. Poe takes a few steps toward the middle of the ring and works Stank down, Poe is showing a REMARKABLE amount of strength here, and hits a SITOUT (Owen Hart) PILEDRIVER! Stank’s head bounces off the mat, Poe crawls over to him, falls across him, hooks the leg, one………two…….THREE!
WINNER in 53:28 and STILL OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe

Poe falls to one knee and once again grabs his head. Selena comes into the ring with the title and hands it to Poe and gives him a huge hug. By this point, Stank has rolled out of the ring and is being helped to the back by the referee. Stank is holding his neck and limping, and clearly in a lot of pain. He pauses and turns back to look at Poe, and the two exchange the slightest of nods. Poe finally gets to his feet and still doesn’t quite look like he knows where he is. He holds the title up in the air, then steps between the ropes and heads to the back.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Territorial Beatings IV PPV, Live, May 31 from Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 29th from Hollywood, Alabama

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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood Park, Texas


<GM the Rick comes out on stage with a mic>

The Rick: Before tonight's event starts, I am here to take care of a little business. There were a few injustices that happened at last week's event, more than usual. I am handling them all, but first I want to bring out a wrestler who was victorious in their match last week, but with some controversy. Johnny Icepick, would you come down to the ring, please?

(After a few seconds, Johnny Icepick's new entrance music hits the arena, eerily reminiscent of the Main Event Mafia)

Commentator: Johnny Icepick, the wrestler who's gone from the cellar to the penthouse in one week's time. He pulled off a major upset defeating the debuting Beer Baron. Icepick looks like he's gained some confidence from that match.

The Rick: Johnny, thanks for coming down to the ring. We have a bit of a problem on our hands...

Johnny Icepick: We don't have a problem, it's you, Commish, who has the problem. I don't have a match this week. What the hell is it that you do that you didn't dare put me on this week's card?

The Rick: Well, that's just it. I apologize for you being out of action this week, but you will have a match at the pay per view. You defeated the debuting Beer Baron.

Johnny Icepick: Yeah, and OOWF wrestlers take notice. If I can defeat a washed up former champ, I can take you out like that(snaps his fingers)

The Rick: Yes, well, I reviewed the tapes and you did in fact use a foreign object to help defeat the Beer Baron.

Johnny Icepick: What the hell you talking about? I didn't do nothing, and if I did, the ref didn't see nothing. There's no instant replay in the OOWF!

The Rick: I do not dispute that Johnny, and your win will stand, but my first order of business is that there will be a return match at the pay per view. Johnny Icepick vs. The Beer Baron.

Johnny Icepick: WHAT?! I already beat that old man! You know what? Fine! I'll do it again, I'll beat that old drunk. We haven't heard from him since he left the arena with his tail between his legs. He's washed up. Sober or drunk, I'll beat him again cause I'm the new King of the Streets.

The Rick: Very well, good luck in your match, and Beer Baron, I don't know if you're watching tonight, but you will have a match at the pay per view, if you do not show up, your contract and comeback will be voided.

(just as The Rick says that, one of the ring crew comes to the ring with a wrapped box with a note on it)

The Rick: Who's this for? (looking at the box) Icepick, it's got your name on it.

Johnny Icepick: What the hell?(he rips open the box and he pulls out a six pack of beer. The camera zooms to reveal all the bottles are empty. There is a note on the 6 pack. Johnny reads the note aloud) "You better train hard, cause I already started. -Beer Baron"

FIREWOMAN vs. CHAD MADISON

The crowd is hyped for what should prove to be a pretty good match. “Cowboy” by Kid Rock fires up (because I have no idea what else to use), and “Cowboy” Chad Madison makes his way to the ring in full over-the-top Cowboy regalia. He slaps hands with the crowd on the way into the ring, and starts doing some lasso tricks once he gets in. After the fun little rope trick display, he disposes of all the cowboy gear to the outside, and awaits his opponent. “Firewoman” comes over the PA, and a subdued Firewoman makes her way down the ramp, and the normal ovation of boos she receives is certainly tamped down by this attitude. Firewoman looks like she'd rather be anywhere else as she climbs into the ring and makes her way to a neutral corner. Hale looks oddly in Firewoman's direction, but obviously thinks that's good enough and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Madison slowly approaches Firewoman, who simply looks bored. They lock up, and it's a stalemate for a bit before Madison forces Firewoman into the corner. He assaults her with some knife-edge chops, and then tries for a Mount Punch. He gets a couple off before Firewoman turns the tables and reverses it into a Power bomb. Firewoman takes her time climbing the turnbuckle and takes off for a BFE, but Madison rolls out of the way as Firewoman eats canvas. Madison goes all Orton Stomp on Firewoman and appears to be in control as he locks on a chin lock. This essentially serves to piss Firewoman off, and she fights back with some chops of her own. Fire appears re-focused as she nails an Enziguri, and uses the ropes as leverage as she hits a Slingshot Northern Lights Suplex and bridges into the cover! Sweet move, but it unfortunately only gets a 2 count. Fire looks to follow up as Madison rolls onto his stomach, and Firewoman locks on a Surfboard Hold. Fire looks bored as time passes. One minute...Two Minutes...Five Minutes pass before Fire finally hits a Motherfucking Curbstomp!

Fire covers, but Madison bravely kicks out at 2. Fire seems unconcerned as she runs the ropes and tries for a Firesault, but Madison again deftly rolls out of the way. Both competitors are down, and Hale starts a count. Firewoman is up first at 5, and she takes her time getting to her feet. Madison appears dead for all intents and purposes. Fire goes to Madison's head and shoulders and looks to pull him up...but Madison hits an INSIDE CRADLE! 1...2...3! HUGE UPSET!
WINNER in 7:41 by Pinfall...”Cowboy” Chad Madison!

Firewoman is not angry, but just appears nonplussed in the ring as Madison rolls out and takes off up the ramp after scoring the monster upset from the clearly disinterested and distracted Firewoman!


SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. DH MAGNUSSON

The Hollywood Park Crowd is apparently an intelligent one as the first five rows have a giant tarp pulled up and ready to go, Gallagher-style. “Rebels of the Sacred Heart” starts to play and Seamus McNasty makes his way down the ramp to a very positive response. He charges into the ring and slides in, screaming “Faugh a Ballaugh” when he gets in, which, of course, the crowd decides to repeat, even though they have no clue what it means (Let's call it the 'Konnan Response'). “Calm Before the Storm” replaces the music and D.H. Magnusson makes his way slowly down the ramp, and the crowd clearly hasn't forgiven him yet for leaving Drink and Destroy (get over it already) and boo him unmercifully until he gets in the ring. Seamus McNasty apparently isn't a very big fan either, as he tries to get at D.H. before the bell. Fall River's Own Angelo Barros deftly cuts the big man off and calls for the bell before retreating out of the way...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

The two men slowly circle and Magnusson has an ultra-smug look on his face. Jerk. They finally lockup to a stalemate. They stay there for a few seconds before Mags is able to slip out and work a headlock. McNasty works out of that into an arm bar, which Mags reverses into a deep arm drag. Seamus hits the body scissors and both men back out to a neutral standing position. They go to lockup again, but Mags cuts in quickly and works McNasty into a hammerlock. Seamus slaps his shoulder twice (as required by law) and reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Mags slaps HIS shoulder twice and tries to work a Side Suplex, but Seamus blocks it and reverses into a hip toss and he attack Mags and works a chin lock with his knee in DH's back. The crowd is getting antsy. DH powers out of that and hits a Top Wristlock on Seamus, before slipping it into another hammerlock. This is clearly not what the crowd was hoping for in this match, and they start to express their displeasure. Seamus (obviously) slaps his shoulder twice, and shows a nice burst of quickness when he reverses the hammerlock and slaps on a headlock, which forces Mags to the mat. The crowd starts to boo, loudly. DH works to a vertical base, and tries to run the ropes, but Seamus hangs onto the headlock, leaving him in the dominant position. Trash starts to rain into the ring, and a “We Want Blood” chant fires up. Jerks. The 6 indy wankers here to see Bryce Larson are enjoying this greatly on the other hand. Mags decides to work out of the headlock with some wicked back elbows, and once the hold is broken, he unleashes 3 or 4 big European Uppercuts, which rocks the jaw of Seamus, and the crowd seems a little more content now.

Seamus is rocked and gets flung into the ropes. He bounces off but is able to duck a big clothesline from Mags. Seamus hits the other ropes and Mags sets up another clothesline, but Seamus goes in low and SPEARS DH! Seamus then assaults Mags with vicious lefts and rights. Seamus soon tires of that, and grabs Magnusson by the hair and just starts slamming the back of his head into the mat. Barros finally breaks it up. Mags crawls for the ropes and tries to pull himself up. Seamus charges, but Mags hits him with the LOW BRIDGE and Seamus tumbles awkwardly to the outside. DH does the “point to his head” thing, and slides out after Seamus. He whips Seamus into the barrier, and then whips him HARD into the apron. I'm guessing that back doesn't feel real good right now. McNasty stumble forward and Magnusson catches him and hefts him on his shoulder. Mags starts running, and LAWN DARTS Seamus right into the STEEL STEPS, splaying them everywhere. Mags rolls into the ring to break the count, and then rolls back out. He stalks Seamus to follow up, but Seamus catches him with a Drop Toe Hold, and Mags FACEPLANTS into the Steel Steps! Seamus smashes Mags into the steps a couple of times before whipping him into the Chilean Announce Table. Seamus puts on his invisible maid's outfit, and starts to do some housecleaning on the announce table. Papers and monitors go flying, except for one monitor which finds its way to the side of Magnusson's head. Ouch. He drags the near-lifeless and now bleeding Mags to the announce table, and rolls him on top. He drags Magnusson to his feet and stand him up. He grabs his hands and turns and HITS THE BLACK AND TAN THROUGH THE TABLE!

The crowd is clearly happy with this turn of events as both men have to take some time to recover from that. You can't win the match from the outside though, and Seamus realizes this as he comes to. Barros has been very liberal with his count, clearly wanting a winner here. Seamus dusts himself off, and pulls the limp and lifeless Mags out of the rubble before whipping him into the apron! Mags crumples in a heap, and it looks like it's only a matter of time. Seamus rolls DH into the ring, and yells “Faugh a Ballaugh” to the crowd. Good times. Seamus rolls into the ring himself, and doesn't appear done with Mags quite yet. He pulls DH up and hits a BIG Spinning Powerbomb, and that should end it. Seamus plays to the crowd a bit, and they eat it up. Seamus hits the near ropes, looking for one final Elbow Drop, but somehow Mags grabs his elbow and ROLLS HIM UP! HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS AND BARROS HAS NO IDEA! 1..2...3!!! Magnusson steals one!
WINNER in 13:22 by Pin fall...DH Magnusson!

Post-Match, a full-on slugfest ensues, both men just throwing haymakers at each other. Mags clotheslines Seamus out of the ring, but Seamus catches Mags with an uppercut as he gets out of the ring, and they brawl to the back, refs trying to break them up.

RUN DEA vs. THE HEROES GUILD

Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling come out to "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine, entering at Zack de la Rocha's first yell of the title lyric. They get a lot of pyro and a lot more fan negativity. As usual, their entrance is like five minutes long as they slowly walk towards the ring. This entrance stands in contrast to that of the following Heroes Guild, who race to the ring with manic intensity to the epic notes of "The Bridge of Khazad-Dum". They pose for the fans on opposite turnbuckles, and the cheers are both loud and abundant. Davin and Alexander both smirk at this display like the arrogant heels that they are. We have very little discussion time before it's established that Bryce Larson will be starting off with Davin Moreland.

Russ: Remember Razz, last week Bryce Larson nearly took the pin from Davin Moreland, in a very controversial finish to the match.
Razz: That's right Russ, no doubt both of these men will be looking for some closure here tonight.

OOWF Referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell, and we have a standoff here. Davin cockily offers Bryce a free shot. Bryce looks at Nayr, who shrugs, so he quickly spins and chops Davin with lightning-like speed. Davin no-sells this and chops Bryce. The pain of the impact makes Bryce partly turn around, but he comes back with another chop to the chest. Davin no-sells this as well and slaps Bryce in the face. Bryce is furious- low round kick to the back of the knee. Davin isn't ready for this, his leg begins to buckle, and Bryce keeps up the onslaught. After a couple more kicks in the same area, Davin falls to one knee- just for a second, he's right back up, but everybody sees it. As Bryce shares a smug look with Nayr, Davin tenses, and he spears Bryce as Bryce turns back around. Ouch. Davin hauls up Bryce and whips him to the ropes and connects with a huge power clothesline. He wants the quick pin but Bryce kicks out at one.

Moreland stomps Bryce a few times, hauls him up for a suplex attempt. Bryce slips behind Davin and rolls him up for a one count. Davin kicks out with such force that Bryce is backed against the ropes of Nayr's corner, and Nayr blind tags himself in as Davin is getting up. Bryce charges, drop toe hold from Davin, but Nayr springboards in with a dropkick to Davin's back. Davin stumbles and falls across the opposite second rope. Nayr runs in and nails a 619 and sets up on the ring. Unfortunately for him, he's now sharing a ring side with Alexander Darling, who brutally cross checks him into a turnbuckle. Nayr falls to the floor, but Alex is quickly down to pick him up and roll him into the ring. Davin is up and tags in Alex, and we have an assisted slingshot splash from the two, with Alex landing on Nayr's chest for the pinning predicament. Early two count, and Nayr may be in some trouble here.

Alex methodically goes to work on Nayr's legs, first stomping them and then applying the Darling Money Clip. Bryce is in to break this up quickly, he knows how much depends on Nayr's high-flying. Alex does as well, and resents Bryce's interference, yelling at Bryce as he heads back to the Guild corner. This gives Nayr a second or two of breathing room, and as Darling returns to the prone Nayr and bends over to begin another submission move, Nayr kicks him in the head. Ouch. Alex drops and Nayr is up. Nayr runs the ropes, springboard corkscrew senton connects with Alex's back. Nayr rolls over Alex and goes for the pin, one, two, and Alex kicks out right at two.

Both men get to their feet, and Nayr tags in Bryce. Bryce and Alex circle each other. We have a simultaneous lock up, and both men strain before Bryce gets the go-behind. Elbows to the head from Alex, who spins around for the go-behind. He goes for a belly-to-back suplex but Bryce lands on his feet. As Alex spins around, Bryce decks him with a super kick. Bryce tags in Nayr, then picks up Alex for a power bomb. As he delivers the power bomb, Nayr jumps up for the backbreaker, resulting in a double team move blatantly stolen from the Motor City Machine Guns. Nayr goes for the cover, but Davin is in to yank Nayr off Alex and throw him across the ring.

Davin helps Alex to his feet, then dashes forward, past Nayr, and gives Bryce a cheap shot that sends him off the apron. Nayr now finds himself alone between Davin and Alex. He spins around to confront Alex, who feints, as Nayr flinches, Davin turns him around and drops him with a chop to the chest. Davin picks up Nayr and holds him up for a power bomb as Alex climbs to the top rope. They're looking for a Doomsday Device-like maneuver, but Nayr takes Davin down with a Driver of a Thousand Truths instead! Meanwhile, Bryce climbs into the ring and grabs Alex and gives him the Transporter 2! Bryce gives Nayr some leverage for an assisted moonsault onto Alex, Nayr with the pin, could this be it, one, two, two and a half, no! Alex kicks out. Bryce and Nayr can't believe it.

Davin decides to stop selling the Driver after maybe ten seconds of action. He gets up and slams Bryce and Nayr's heads together. Nayr is out! Bryce is dazed, and Davin scoops him up- Elevated Really Good Diamond Cutter attempt, but Bryce squirms out of it. Bryce lands behind him, applies a sleeper hold, and locks in the Dragon's Lair! Davin is squirming but you can't no-sell this move, and Bryce has the definite upper hand. Of course Davin won't give up, but he might fade out this time. Angelo Barros raises Davin's hand once, and it drops. He raises it a second time, but we'll never know the effects as Alex comes in with a vicious stomp to the face which breaks up the move. Davin remains grounded as Alex rolls Bryce over and sets up the Curbstomp. All of a sudden, the crowd pops as Nayr springboards in and plants him with the DDT of Wind +3. Meanwhile, Davin has gotten up only to be met by Bryce, and the two exchange strikes. Neither one backs down, until Nayr dropkicks Davin in the back of the knee. Davin drops to a knee, and Bryce goes for Harry, the first of the Shining Wizards. But Davin blocks it by flinging Bryce's leg aside. Bryce lands awkwardly.

Nayr sees this and makes a dash for the top rope, no doubt looking for a moonsault or the like, but he's not quite fast enough, and just gets to the top rope when Davin manages to club him in the back a couple of times. Davin Electric Chairs him down to the mat. Bryce goes to help him, but Alex grabs his leg and yanks him down. Davin is quickly over to take advantage, putting him in a Sharpshooter. Alex picks up the downed Nayr, setting him up for the Darling Driver. The Driver connects, and Alex makes the pin as Bryce howls in pain. One, two, three.
WINNERS in 22:11 – Run DEA

After the bell rings, Moreland refuses to let go of the hold until he sees Concrete TG and Blitz charging from the back. The two DEA members slide out of the ring and make their way to the back as the two Guild members check on their teammates.

OOWF Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals

TYTAN vs. THE DEAD

Tytan rises from below the stage, mask covering the burns on his face from his Firewoman feud. The crowd is undecided as to how to respond. On one hand he's a dominating force in the ring, but on the other, he's just gotten weird lately. None of this matters to Tytan as he walks robotically down the ramp, and to the center of the ring, where he stands motionless, staring off into space. The Dead begins his entrance to a loud pop from the crowd, who seems to appreciate the direction he's gone since returning to the OOWF. The Dead enters the ring, as Tytan still appears to look off into the distance. The referee is giving directions, and calls for the bell. Tytan is no Festus though, and doesn't leap to life just because of the bell. The Dead stares at him for a moment, and then we see Tytan's eyes focus. He's not just been staring off into space, he's been gathering his energy, as he just EXPLODES at The Dead. He runs him backward HARD into the ropes, flipping Dead over and onto the floor. Dead lands hard, clearly not expecting such a move right out of the gate. Tytan follows him out, picks him up by the hair and (to the protests of the referee) flings him into the steel steps with a resounding thud. Tytan grabs him up and Vertical Suplexes him right onto the floor. Whatever is in that Agent X, it is obviously affecting Tytan. The referee remembers he's supposed to be counting, so he starts, but Tytan picks The Dead up again, and rolls him into the ring. Tytan calmly and methodically follows him in. He picks him up, and Spinebusters him to the center of the ring. He goes for the cover, but Dead is not really dead yet, and rolls a shoulder up at 2. Tytan steps away, gathering his thoughts as the referee checks on Dead. Dead shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, and slowly gets up. Tytan has, meanwhile, been taking the pad off one of the turnbuckles, and then when he's done he turns back to the center of the ring. Tytan stands like granite, but Dead doesn't make the same mistake twice. Tytan makes a move, and Dead gets him down quickly with a drop toe-hold. He leaps up and applies some strong foot-stomps. Tytan instinctively covers his head, and Dead takes the opportunity to put him in the Deathlock. Dead wants to get out of this match quickly, and gradually applies more and more pressure. Tytan doesn't scream, but you can tell he's feeling it by how squinty his eyes are getting. Tytan starts the slow, deliberate, attempt to crawl to the ropes. Dead locks in tighter, but Tytan is tall enough that he eventually makes it to the ropes. The referee starts to count for Dead to release, which he does at 4.99999, followed by a well placed kick to Tytan's head. Instead of knocking him out, though, this seems to enrage Tytan. He stands up quickly, and approaches Dead, taking him down with a HUGE clothesline. He jumps down and peppers Dead with some stiff punches, so Dead's only choice is to put his hands up to protect himself. The referee tries to intervene, and eventually starts the count, which Tytan stops almost immediately. He picks Dead up, and slingshots him into the ropes, but Dead is still not out of it. Dead counters by bouncing off the second ropes, trying to go for the Springboard DDT, but Tytan catches him mid-air, flips him over, and hits a Backbreaker. He picks Dead up again and Sidewalk Slam! He picks him up a third time, as Dead fights for air, and lifts him up and over... Snake Eyes on the exposed turnbuckle. Uh-oh, Dead has been busted open! Blood drips down into Dead's eyes, making it hard for him to see. Could the streak be over? Tytan lifts Dead up and sits him on the turnbuckle, and goes to the second ropes. He tries to get him up for the Ultimo Ending, but Dead has enough in him that he pushes Tytan off. Tytan falls backward and Dead gets down, still wiping blood from his eyes. The ref checks on Tytan, and then on Dead. Seeing that both are mostly conscious, we continue. Tytan comes up behind Dead and tries to apply the Masterlock. Dead pushes him off once, and then, throws out a big Close the Casket, almost instinctively. Instincts work, as it lands right in the sweet spot on Tytan's jaw, knocking him out cold. Dead sees his opportunity and pounces. He pins and one-two-three! The streak remains intact!
WINNER in 15:59 – The Dead

SPIN HANSEN vs. CHRIS EVANS

This one should prove to be an interesting matchup between a re-committed Hansen and the rookie with something to prove in Evans. Out first to “More Human Than Human” is Hansen, who's got that crazed look in his eyes. The crowd seems to enjoy said crazed look and gives him a hearty welcome into the ring. The music changes to “The Trooper” as Chris “Cubheart” Evans makes his way to the ring wearing a Run DEA t-shirt, and Firewoman's doppleganger comes out to a smattering of boos because the crowd is pre-disposed to hate everything Run DEA. However, that opinion seems to be lessening a bit week-by-week. Interesting. Anyway, Evans climbs into the ring and does some douchey posing, ensuring boos from the crowd. Your referee for this one is the disinterested Mel Creech, who appears to take a nip off his hip flask before calling for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Immediately, Hansen charges across the ring, presumably to pummel the holy hell out of Evans. Evans, however, saw it coming, and destroys Hansen with a sweet dropkick on the charging maniac. Hansen doesn't fall, but he spins 180 degrees and doubles over. Shitty Bulldog from Evans plants Hansen into the mat. Evans quickly scrambles up the turnbuckle and hits a sweet Split-Legged Moonsault. He goes for the early cover, but Hansen kicks out before 2. Evans is up quickly and Hansen struggles to his feet. Evans hits the ropes and PLANTS Hansen with a Cyclone of Chaos, and he covers again, which barely gets 2. Hansen rolls to his knees as he tries to shake out the cobwebs. He does get to his feet, but Evans is there to whip him into the ropes, and hit Zeus' Fury. Again Evans covers, but again Hansen kicks out after a weak 2 count. Hansen appears more shaken than hurt and tries to get up again. Evans runs at him and tries for a Swinging Neckbreaker. Hansen catches him, and Evans tries to recover with a Head Scissors Takeover, but Hansen reverses THAT into a Powerbomb.

Both men are down momentarily, but Hansen recovers first. He charges over with a Running Knee Drop to the face, and goes all technical wrestling on Evans with some lefts and rights to the grill. Hansen simply bludgeons Evans for a good 2 minutes before pulling him up and whipping him to the turnbuckle. BIG SPLASH from Hansen, and he then assaults Evans with some Matt Morgan-esque Back Elbows. Evans is staggered. Hansen sits Evans on the top turnbuckle, and then violently pulls him off with a big overhead bodyslam. Running Hogan Legdrop from Hansen and he quickly hooks the leg. LONG 2-count from Creech, but Evans is able to kick out of it. Hansen pulls Evans up and blasts him with 4 straight headbutts. This busts Evans open right above the eye, which puts a big grin on Hansen's face. Sick bastard. He pulls up the near-dead Evans and hooks him in. He signals to the crowd and hits the JAGERBOMB! That's probably it. 1....2....thre...NO! Evans got his hand on the rope and by some miracle Creech saw it. Weird. Hansen snarls at Creech and yanks Evans to the middle of the ring. He locks on the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Evans is in BIG TIME trouble and really has no options here. Creech leans in asking him if he wants to quit, and Evans grabs onto Creech's shirt. Creech tries to pull himself away and pokes himself in the eye! Clearly, this permanently maims Creech and he falls down in a heap. This allows Evans to poke Hansen in the eye, and the hold is broken.

Everyone is down for a bit, but it's Hansen up first and he's clearly pissed off. He crosses the ring and starts stomping away on the recovering Evans. Hansen finally quits stomping and decides that smashing Evans' head to the mat is a better idea. He scrambles Evans' brain up a bit, and Creech finally comes to after violently poking himself in the eye. Hansen's had enough and he pulls Evans up, and locks him in for the Hair Of The Dog! He's got Evans up...and Evans slips out the back door! LUNGBLOWER from Evans, and Hansen is now in trouble. Creech kinda starts to count as both men are down, but his heart isn't really in it, mainly because he doesn't care. Evans is up first, but Hansen is staggering to his feet as well. Evans attacks...JERICHO SPECIAL! Hansen is in HUGE trouble in the Google Plates and he's got nowhere to go. The referee asks Spin several times if he wants to quit, but he refuses, after several agonizing minutes, and escape impossible, Spin goes limp, bleeding from the mouth a bit, the referee immediately calls for the bell.
WINNER in 11:46 by Chris Evans!


IHOP vs. CONCRETE TG, BLITZ & ZANE MYERS – OOWF Campeonas De Trios Title Match

Pyro pops, music blares and everyone makes their way to the ring. Ref calls for the bell and Skurge and Crete start thinks off. Crete hands Skurge a cigar and puts his hand out for a handshake. Skurge takes the cigar and looks to the crowd to see what he should do…Crete holds hand out again for handshake, Skurge grabs hand for handshake but pulls Crete forward for a short-arm clothesline, and we are off…

Skurge picks up Crete and puts him in a side headlock, Crete counters with a whip to the ropes, Skurge hits Crete with a shoulder block and down goes Crete, Skurge goes for a leg drop but Crete rolls out of the way, both men are up and both tag…
TA and Blitz square off, collar and shoulder tie up, both men pushing around the ring with neither one gaining an advantage; TA backs Blitz into the corner and hits hit in the chest with a knife edge chop to the chest, Blitz’s chest glows bright red, TA hits another chop and Blitz returns chop and follows up with a combo of lefts and rights to the mid section to fight his way out of the corner…Blitz picks up TA and hits a sidewalk slam. Blitz covers for the pin…1and ½ and TA kicks out. Blitz pulls TA up and hits him with a twisting neck-breaker. Again with the cover, 1….2 and TA kicks out. Blitz moves in to pull TA up but TA counters with a small package, 1….2…and Blitz kicks out…both men gain their feet. Blitz looks surprised but charges in, TA counters with a drop toe hold and floats over to a sitting side headlock…

Zane is slamming the corner turnbuckle getting the crowd to rally…Blitz struggles to his feet and whips TA to the ropes. TA leapfrogs Blitz to the far ropes and comes off with a reverse elbow, Blitz goes down and TA tags in SYB. SYB jumps over the top rope and hits Blitz with a leg-drop, SYB goes for the cover, Blitz kicks out at 1 and ½.Blitz and SYB are both up and Blitz catches SYB with a right hand to the jaw that staggers SYB back to the ropes…Blitz grabs SYB and whips hit into the far ropes, and catches him with a high knee to the face, Blitz covers for 1….2…and SYB kicks out. Blitz hits SYB with several knees to the head that leaves SYB reeling…

Blitz tags in Zane and Zane hits SYB with a northern lights suplex and covers….1…..2….and Skurge is in for the save with a kick to the back…

Crete comes in and hits Skurge with a double axe handle and both men begin fighting and tumble out of the ring…
TA comes in and grabs Zane and whips him into the ropes, Zane is off the ropes and SYB and TA attempt a double team clothesline but Zane ducks under and rebounds with his own double clothesline both men go down, Blitz comes in to the ring, TA and SYB are up and met with double team drop kicks from Blitz and Myers…Blitz rolls TA out of the ring and Zane goes for the cover…1….2…and SYB kicks out.

Referee yells for everyone to get back to their corners or he will stop the match…Meanwhile in the ring Zane tags in Crete who immediately begins working on SYBs leg, first with a couple of knee drops, then with a twisting leg lock…SYB is yelling out and Ref asks him if he wants to quit….SYB shakes his head NO and reaches for his corner….Crete twist again and follows it up with an elbow drop and covers for the pin…1….2….2 ½ and SYB kicks out. Crete comes up bringing SYB with him and powers him into the corner, tag made and in comes Blitz, shoulder block to SYB in the corner and down goes SYB, Blitz grabs the ropes and hits a kick to the chest a’la Jeff Hardy and tags in Myers…Myers enters the ring and grabs SYB and walks him to the center of the ring where he delivers a spine buster that plants SYB…oh this could be it…wait Zane is going to the turnbuckle, oh he should have pinned him…Zane to the top, he’s gonna fly…but SYB was ready for him and gets his foot up catching Zane in the jaw both men are down…Ref starts his count….1….2…3…4….5…6…7…SYB kicks up and stumbles to his corner for a hot tag…Zane does likewise…In comes Skurge and Crete…Skurge strikes first with a stiff right hand that knocks Crete down. Crete bounces right back up to get hit with a DDT, Blitz is in only to get cut off by TA with a spear that doubles Blitz over…Zane enters the ring but SYB meets him with a Jersey Turnpike that has Myers grabbing himself in pain…Skurge has Crete up and TA is set up for the Smokehouse Combo, order up BAMM! …SYB stops Blitz from making the save…Skurge covers Crete…1….2…3 and your winner…IHOP!
WINNERS in 17:07 - IHOP


THIM REYNOLDS vs. MATTE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Both men are in the ring, and Reynolds tries to go for an early advantage by attempting a pre-bell Pearl Harbor on the slouching Matte, but the smaller man outquicks him, sliding out of the ring, hooking Thim's leg as he goes. Reynolds crashes to the mat and Matte slides back in, quick to capitalize with a side headlock. Reynolds struggles to his feet with Matte still holding on, and a shove off attempt fails as Matte bulldogs him down, popping the big man over with a beautiful headlock takeover! Reynolds struggles to his feet, tries the shoot off once again, and Matte hangs on again! Reynolds back to his vertical base, goes for the pick up, and Matte tumbles over the back, landing on his feet and springing up to latch the side headlock back on! The crowd cheers it's approval, but as referee Davis Hightower goes in to check on the hold, Reynolds grabs a fistful of hair and yanks Matte's head back, causing him to finally break the headlock! Reynolds buries a couple of stiff forearms into Matte's kindeys, then shoots Matte into the ropes hitting a major clothesline that turns the smaller man inside out! Quick attempt at an elbow hits nothing but canvas, as does a second, and Matte is back to his feet a step ahead of Thim, leaping over with a stunning majistral cradle!

1...
2

Barely a two count before Thim powers out, landing a diving double axe handle that scores across Matte's back sending him back down to the mat. Quick pickup by Reynolds, waist lock over into gutwrench suplex, and Matte catches air before landing! Standing diving headbutt by Reynolds hits home, and cover:

1...
2...

Matte kicks out at two, and gets a clubbing diving forearm to the chest for his efforts. Reynolds picks him up, fires him into the ropes and launches the big boot...But Matte slides under popping back up to catch Reynolds with a picture perfect standing dropkick! Reynolds hits the canvas and pops back up, just in time for another! The trifecta has Reynolds on the defensive, and Matte ducks a wild haymaker swing, countering with a stiff superkick that drives Reynolds into the turnbuckle! Matte backs up to the far side, charges and lauches, but Reynolds CATCHES him in mid-air, pivoting and driving Matte into the turnbuckle! Reynolds piefaces Matte, jawing at him as he buries a few knees. Hightower in for the break, and Reynolds breaks for a heartbeat before sliding back and paintbrushing Matte with several stiff slaps. Hightower goes in to get the break again, and this time he gets between the two, allowing Matte to get out of the corner.

Collar and elbow, and Thim quickly grabs another handful of hair using it to force Matte back into the corner again. Reynolds feigns a clean break, but lauches another slap that ECHOES through the arena! Hightower begins to Reynolds back, but Matte grabs the bigger man by the neck and leverages him into the turnbuckle before opening up a wild flurry of flailing lefts and rights on Reynolds! Thim is covering up, but Matte continues, a shrieking whirlwind of lefts and rights! Hightower gets to five in his count before trying to pull Matte away, but Matte shoves him backwards! Hightower goes flying, and he's almost calling for the bell before he stops, while the crazed Matte continues to pummel the trapped champion!
WINNER via DISQUALIFACTION and STILL CHAMPION at 7:14 - THIM REYNOLDS!

After the bell, it takes three OOWF Blackshirts to pull the thrashing Matte out of the ring, while he continues to scream and claw at the stunned champion

THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Outback Jack & GatorBait, as champions, enter first. Moosehead Jack & LD Williams hit the stage, point towards the ring and run—err, walk swiftly—to their opponents. OBJ & GB meet them on the floor, and we’re under way!

OBJ immediately gets paired off with MHJ, and LDW starts fighting GB, and “initial warfare” ensures! David Hightower hits the floor, trying to get all four men in the ring, but has no success. It isn’t long before OBJ gets a chair from a fan, and takes a swing at MHJ! He misses, and the chair is destroyed upon impact with the ringpost. MHJ then kicks MHJ in the chest, sending him into the guardrail. Moose follows it up with another kick to the chest, and then starts to dig under the ring. During this, LDW and GB are brawling near the announcers table, and GB wraps a camera cable around LDW’s neck. We pan back over to MHJ, who comes out from under the ring with a barbed wire bat! The match (fight?) is barely 5 minutes old and he’s got a freakin’ barbed wire bat!?

Hightower begs and pleads with Moose, but he simply waves the bat in Hightower’s general direction, and he flinches away. Moose swings for the fences at OBJ, but he moves and MHJ connects with the guardrail. We change scenes to see that GB has regained control over LDW, tying him to a chair with the same camera cable! Production crew members rush to the ring to get the camera hooked back up so our broadcast can be back at full strength!

GB heads over to help OBJ, hitting MHJ from behind. The champs double team Moose (Australian for two guys putting the boots to Moose, not just one), and attempt to stomp him into oblivion. With Moose down, they turn to see that the crew also untied LDW, who dives off the ring steps, taking both men down! LDW gets up, and gets a hold of Moose’s bat. GB & OBJ slowly get-up, and LDW nails each with the barbed wire bat! Both men are bleeding from the forehead, just 10 minutes into the match! MHJ gets back to his feet, grabs the bat from LDW, and he connects with a shot to both opponents! The plasma is now flowing folks!

Hightower is back in the ring, now praying that someone tries to actually have a competitive match. LDW and MHJ roll both opponents into the ring, and get into the ring themselves. Hightower calls for the bell, and the match has just officially started?

kz sends both Aussies across the ring, each going for a clothesline. The Aussies duck, then rebound with clotheslines that take both members of kz over the top rope and back to the floor! Hightower screams “Noooooooooooo!” As kz celebrate together in the ring.

Suddenly the crowd all stands up and looks towards the stage. When kz both turn around, they see Nayr bounce up to the top turnbuckle! Nayr flies off, connecting with a front flip Hurricanrana on LDW. Bryce Larson then slingshots up to the top rope, coming off with a springboard dropkick for MHJ. Our cameras pan to the floor and see that Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling have hit the scene, and are brawling with OBJ and GB. MHJ & LDW take a powder to the floor, only to discover said brawl, and end up joining it. All six men quickly make their way in front of the ring at the end of the entry aisle, where the brawl intensifies. The Nerds signal for a dive, which immediately garners a positive response from the crowd. They bound off of the ropes, and hit stereo Tope’ Suicido dives over the top rope onto all six men on the floor! Hightower finally calls for the bell!
WINNER in 3:59 (bell to bell, 15:43 total action) – NO CONTEST

All eight men are still fighting on the floor, and Hightower signals for security to come out. They do, but merely get punched in the face by the 4 teams fighting. Finally, a squadron of officers in riot gear is out. They don’t attempt to stop the fighting, they just use their gear to push all eight men, causing them to brawl to the back.

POE vs. STANK

Stank enters the arena first, looking focused and determined. He makes his way to the ring and acknowledges the fans, then warms up on the ropes. He stops and glares up the aisle as Poe, accompanied by Selena, strides onto the stage. They pause at the top of the ramp and Poe holds the OOWF World Heavyweight Title high before they walk to the ring. Poe climbs through the ropes and holds up the belt again, and then hands it to referee Davis Hightower, who displays it to the crowd and hands it off to the timekeeper. Hightower calls both men to the center of the ring and gives them their instructions, then calls for the bell.

Poe and Stank stand toe-to-toe, neither man flinching or speaking. After a long staredown, Poe smirks and says something. Stank smiles – and hauls off with a haymaker. Poe staggers, then comes back with a haymaker of his own. The exchange continues, with each punch getting bigger, until Stank staggers back against the ropes. Poe whips him across the ring and tries for a big boot, but Stank ducks it and comes back with a clothesline. He tries to follow up with an elbow, but Poe rolls out of the way. Poe rolls to his feet and grabs a headlock as Stank gets up. Stank shoots him off and drops to the mat as Poe rebounds, then springs to his feet and catches him with a belly-to belly suplex. Stank is up and stomps on Poe, then attacks his oft-injured leg, twisting the ankle. Poe manages to get his free leg in place and break free by kicking Stank in the face. Stank staggers back and Poe gets to his feet.

Stank tries to shoot the leg, but Poe side-steps and hits a double ax handle to the back. Stank drops to one knee and Poe drives a fist into the back of his head. He hooks Stank's arms and plants him with a double underhook DDT, then rolls him over and covers, but only gets two. Poe drags Stank to his feet and rocks him with a series of European uppercuts, then lifts him for a powerbomb, but Stank breaks free and drops behind him, reversing into a backslide that also gets two. Both men are up and Poe wrings the arm. He drives his elbow into the inside of Stank's arm, then tries for another rotation on the arm wringer, but Stank reverses it. Stank twists Poe's arm up – Heartpunch! Poe staggers, but before he falls Stank turns and drops him with a stunner. He makes the cover, but Poe rolls a shoulder at two.

Stank is up and pulls Poe to his feet. Scoop and a slam, and Stank goes to the ropes – Stankonia 2.0! Stank hooks the leg, but again Poe rolls a shoulder. Stank drags Poe to his feet again, and hoists him for the Stank-U. Poe reaches out and grabs the top rope, and drags himself free. Stank turns around and Poe kicks him in the stomach, drives a knee into his temple, and drops him with a spinning neckbreaker. He props Stank in a sitting position, goes to the ropes, and dropkicks him in the face. He drops a leg across Stank's throat and covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Poe backs Stank into the corner and lights him up with chops, then whips him across the ring. Stank reverses and follows Poe in with an avalanche. Poe stumbles forward and Stank drives his shoulder into his midsection, lifting him off the mat and slamming him back into the turnbuckles. After several more shoulders he drags Poe out of the corner and hoists him for a suplex, holding him at the top of the move for nearly a minute before driving him to the mat. Stank floats over and covers, and gets a long two count.

Stank grabs Poe by the hair and starts slugging him, stopping only when Hightower threatens to disqualify him. He drags Poe to his feet, sends him to the ropes, and plants him with a spinebuster, foregoing the cover and going right back to throwing punches. Poe manages to throw him off and rolls to his knees, catching Stank with a shot to the stomach as he moves back in. Stank doubles over and Poe goes to the ropes, and nails him with a running knee lift. He slings Stank to the corner and nails him with a superkick. He sends Stank to the ropes and levels him with the Hieroglyph, then falls on him for the cover, but only gets two.

Poe backs Stank to the ropes and knocks him off balance with a couple of European uppercuts, then shoves him back and ties his arms in the ropes. He gets in some free shots and goes to the ropes. He tries for another Heiroglyph, but Stank frees himself and dodges. Poe's leg gets tangled in the ropes and he topples to the outside. Stank goes to the opposite ropes, gets up a head of steam, and launches himself over the top rope! He slams into Poe, and both men topple part way up the aisle. Hightower slides out of the ring and checks on both men, then heads back inside and starts to count.

Stank is the first to stir, staggering to his feet at five. He grabs Poe, who lunges to his feet, spearing Stank and driving him down the aisle and into the apron spine-first. Stank collapses and Poe slides into the ring to break the count before sliding back out to the floor. He grabs Stank and slams his face into the apron, then whips him into the guardrail. Stank ducks a charge and tries to backdrop Poe into the crowd, but Poe grabs the railing to block and reverses into a DDT. Poe sits Stank against the railing and steps back to line up a kick, but Stank rolls out of the way. Poe's foot catches in the railing, and Stank roars off the floor into a clothesline that drives him to the floor. This time Stank rolls into the ring to break the count before heading back to the floor.

Poe frees himself and hobbles to his feet as Stank approaches. An exchange of punches staggers both men, until Poe ducks one, grabs Stank around the waist, and falls back, dropping him throat-first onto the railing. Stank rolls on the floor choking, and Poe heads to the ring. He slides under the ropes as Hightower reaches eight, but Stank dives forward and grabs his ankle, dragging him back out to the floor. Stank hauls Poe to his feet and sets up a suplex. Poe blocks and tries to reverse, but Stank blocks that as well. He buries a knee in Poe's stomach to free himself and tries an Irish whip. Poe reverses, but Stank puts on the brakes and pulls Poe back, hauling him onto his shoulders. Poe immediately starts throwing elbows into Stank's head and Stank staggers, then drives Poe through the Algerian announce table with the Stank-U! Stank collapses as well, and crawls toward the ring. He drags himself under the ropes as Hightower counts nine. Poe's hand appears over the edge of the apron and grabs the bottom rope just as Hightower reaches ten.
WINNER, by countout, in 24:14, Stank.

After the match: Selena grabs the Championship belt and skips around the ring to Poe. Poe sits with his back against the apron and stares at the belt in Selena's hands with a look of disappointment. Inside the ring, Stank drags himself to his feet and stares at the belt as well, his expression a mirror image of the champion's.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Sunday Bloody Sunday PPV! Live, April 26th, from Hollywood, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 29th from Hollywood, Alabama

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OOWF Rankings for 04/15/09[/u]

OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe (+9, 20-11)
1. Thim Reynolds – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-1, 4-5)
2. Bryce Larson (+8, 18-10)
3. Firewoman (+7, 18-11)
4. LD Williams (+7, 18-11)
5. Outback Jack (+7, 17-10)*
6. The Dead (+6, 9-3)
7. Tytan (+4, 19-15)
8. Moosehead Jack (+4, 15-11)
9. Nayr (+4, 14-10)
10. Chris Evans (+4, 10-6)
11. Skurge (+3, 17-14)**
12. Stank (+3, 14-11)
13. GatorBait (+3, 5-2)*
14. Davin Moreland (+2, 17-15)
15. The Amnesiac (+1, 16-15)
16. Alexander Darling (+1, 16-15)
17. Zane Myers (+1, 3-2)
18. Chad Madison (+1, 1-0)
19. SYB (-1, 15-16)**
20. Beer Baron (-1, 0-1)
21. Matte (-2, 7-9)
22. Concrete TG (-3, 14-17)
23. Spin Hansen (-4, 9-13)
24. Blitz (-5, 6-11)
25. Seamus McNasty (-6, 11-17)
26. DH Magnusson (-6, 7-13)
27. Damon Wrath (-21, 3-24)

*OOWF World Tag Team Champions
**OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions


World Tag Team Rankings[/u]
OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Team From Down Under (+4, 5-1)
1. The Heroes Guild (+4, 5-1)
2. Run DEA (+1, 1-0)
3. kz (E, 1-1)
4. IHOP (-3, 3-6)

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Arizona

BEER BARON vs. JOHNNY ICEPICK

Johnny Icepick is out first, the crowd boos him loudly, he sneers at them and threatens a few of them with the ice pick he brings to the ring with him. Icepick steps between the ropes, threatens the referee, then waits for his opponent to make his way to the ring. “When the Levee Breaks” starts, and after a few seconds Beer Baron steps from behind the curtain to a HUGE ovation. He stands there and soaks it all in for a moment, then slowly makes his way to the ring savoring every minute of the cheers. Baron steps between the ropes, and Icepick immediately attacks, hammering Baron with shots to the back of the head and kicks to the mid-section. Icepick tries a whip to the ropes, but Baron reverses it and elevates him with a high back body drop. Baron makes the motion for Icepick to get to his feet, when he does, Baron scoops him up and plants him with a slam. Icepick gets up once again and Baron throws a drop kick, doesn’t QUITE hit the mark as he wanted to, but catches enough if Icepick to send him across the ring. Baron gets to his feet and tries another whip but Icepick reverses it. On the rebound, Icepick drops to the mat and Baron steps over and hits the ropes again, Icepick tries a hip toss on the return, but Baron blocks it and DRILLS him with a clothesline. Baron falls on Icepick and grabs a side head lock. Baron looks a little winded, like maybe he doesn’t quite have his conditioning where it needs to be. Icepick works his way to his feet and lifts Baron for a belly to back suplex, but Baron shifts his weight and takes him to the mat with another side head lock. Icepick fights his way to his feet once again, and this time, behind the referee’s back, he hits a low blow that breaks the hold and doubles Baron over in pain. Icepick hits the ropes and catches Baron with a running neck breaker that takes him to the mat. Icepick covers, but Baron rolls his shoulder at two. Icepick gets to his feet and Baron is on one knee, Johnny hammers Baron with shots to the head, but Baron shoves him back, sending him to the ropes. On the rebound, Baron snaps off a nice power slam for a two count. Baron gets to his feet first and waits for Icepick to stand up, then catches him with a boot to the side of the head, catches him before he falls and lifts him for a power bomb! But Icepick fights it, and they stagger toward the ropes. Icepick reverses it to a hurrancarana that takes both men to the floor. On the outside, Icepick lands hard. Baron gets to his feet first and rolls into the ring breaking the count, then reaches between the ropes for Icepick, but Icepick has his ice pick, and SLAMS it right between Baron’s eyes! The referee never saw a thing, and Baron staggers back to the middle of the ring, doubled over, grabbing his head. Baron staggers back to the ropes and Icepick slips into the ring and rolls him up, and puts his feet on the middle rope and gets the one, two, THREE! What an upset!
WINNER in 7:14 – Johnny Icepick

Icepick slides out of the ring and celebrates, taunting Baron. The crowd sits in stunned silence. Inside the ring, Baron realizes what has happened and cannot believe it. He slowly leaves the ring with his head down and heads to the back.

CHAD MADISON vs. THE SUN DEVIL KID

The Sun Devil Kid makes his way to the ring first, he is the Arizona State Lightweight Champion and pretty popular with the crowd. ”Desperado” by Clint Black plays, and OOWF newcomer “Cowboy” Chad Madison makes his way to the ring, riding a white horse and waving to the crowd. The fans give him a nice ovation. He dismounts and ties up his horse at ringside and steps between the ropes. Madison offers The Sun Devil Kid his hand, and they shake then head to their respective corners. The referee finally calls for the bell, and this one is underway. Both men meet in the center of the ring and lock up. The Kid grabs a side head lock, but Madison sends him to the ropes. Kid springs off the middle rope and tries a cross body block, but Madison ducks it. Somehow Kid still grabs Madison and takes him over for a sunset flip and a two count. Madison kicks out and rolls to his feet and charges, but Kid sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a head scissors take over. Both men pop to their feet again and Kid grabs Madison and scoops him up and slams him, then hits a standing moonsault for another two count. Madison is quickly back to his feet and Kid charges to the corner, runs the ropes, then turns and hits a twisting senton for another two count. The crowd erupts into a SDK! SDK! Chant. Madison is on his feet, he looks impressed and gives SKD a clap of respect. They lock up again and once again SDK grabs a side head lock, Madison shoves him to the ropes and on the rebound SDK tries a victory roll, but Madison turns it into an Electric Chair drop! Madison quickly gets to his feet and climbs to the second rope and leaps, dropping a Bret Hart elbow across SDK’s sternum. Madison covers, but SDK kicks out at two. Madison pulls SDK to his feet and lifts him for a vertical suplex, and leaves him up there to think about it for a long time, then brings him STRAIGHT DOWN! BRAINBUSTER! Madison covers SKD and hooks the leg, but somehow SDK manages to roll the shoulder! Madison looks impressed once again, but doesn’t hesitate to pull SDK to his feet and send him to the ropes, on the rebound Madison catches SDK with a big boot to the face, then hooks another suplex, this time though, he drops him across the top rope and hits a slingshot suplex for another two count. SDK is a bit groggy now, and Madison gets to his feet and motions for his finisher. As SDK is struggling to his feet, Madison climbs to the top rope and leaps and hits a LARIAT! Madison immediately covers, hooking the head and both legs and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 5:10 – “Cowboy” Chad Madison

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SYB vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY

The three men enter in that order, with their appropriate theme music and entrances. SYB eyes DHM and SMN warily, given their last encounter at Ric’s Sandwich Shop. Surely they don’t want retribution! Don’t call SYB “Shirley,” because the referee gives the signal and we get the bell.

At first, the three men just look at each other, then Seamus and DHM lock eyes, shrug, and then start wailing away on SYB, landing all sorts of punches one after the other, in unison, whatever works. SYB goes down in a heap, and the other two continue their wailing. SYB finds space and crawls between DH’s legs, and stands up behind the referee, using him as a shield. DH and Seamus start to go for him, but the referee points to his uniform. Seamus and DH look at each other, shrug again, and then each lands a big right haymaker onto the other. DH recovers first, and follows up with an elbow drop to Seamus’s shoulder, driving the Irishman down to one knee. He grabs Seamus around the neck, and pulls him back up and into a vertical suplex. Instead of going for the cover, DH begins the Garvin Stomp, but he’s interrupted by SYB who comes from out of nowhere, apparently and shoves DH to the side. SYB continues where DH left off, but the delay was enough to allow Seamus to recover, and he grabs SYB’s foot. SYB immediately waves off and tries to call for a time out, but there’s no time outs in wrestling. Seamus immediately goes for the Four Leaf Clover (Figure 4 leg lock). He cranks down and SYB reaches out to try and grab the ropes. Nothing doing, though, as Seamus is not letting SYB anywhere near the ropes. DHM has been standing back, watching, and just as it looks like SYB is getting ready to tap, DH chooses the right moment to come in and break up the hold. SYB grabs his ankle in pain, as Seamus glares at DH. The two have a conversation about how this may damage their drinking-buddies relationship, and SYB takes the opportunity. He comes up behind DH, grabs him from behind, and hits a Swinging Neck breaker! DH goes down in a heap. Seamus starts for SYB, but SYB greets him with a thumb to the eye, that the referee doesn’t see because he’s checking on DH. SYB pounces on Magnusson and hooks the leg. The referee counts one..two…but it’s broken up by Seamus, who pulls SYB by his sore leg. He stomps on the leg once, twice, and goes for three, but SYB rolls away. He looks around, and as Seamus dives for him, SYB hits a drop toe hold that connects Seamus to the ring post. He drags Seamus back, rolls him up and tries another pin, but it fails again as DH has recovered and breaks it up at two.

SYB is furious and starts to…complain to the referee? Whatever. While he’s doing that, DH goes over to a still out-of-it Seamus, and gets him on his feet again, and after some punching exchanges, gets him around for the inverted brain buster. He goes for the pin, but SYB is done discussing politics with the referee and pulls him off. DH has had enough. He starts once again with the big haymakers, getting SYB eventually backed into the corner. The referee gets involved, but it’s sort of too late, as SYB has some nice bruising starting. The referee pulls DH off, but as SYB tries to recover, he doesn’t notice that Seamus is on his feet, and runs into the corner with a splash. He gets SYB up and into the right position, and hits the Black and Tan. He rolls SYB up for the pin, but SYB kicks out! Seamus puts the boots to SYB again, and he is joined by DH. The two start pushing each other in between kicks to SYB. Finally, DH has had enough, and runs back against the ropes and flies forward, nailing Seamus with the Jersey Hammer. Seamus goes down, and DH starts to go for the pin, but SYB reaches up and hits the Jersey Turnpike! DH goes down, SYB starts to go for the pin, but Seamus’s head is a lot harder than most, and he’s up. He grabs SYB as he’s trying for the pin, and rolls him up. One, two, three!
WINNER in 16:54 – Seamus McNasty

SKURGE vs. CONCRETE TG

Concrete TG, along with the rest of The Heroes Guild, head to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and posing on the turnbuckles to the delight of the crowd. Blitz, Nayr & Bryce bolt, leaving CTG in the ring to prepare for his one on one match.

“Bawitdaba” fires upon the PA system as Skurge makes his way to the ring! Both men stare at each other as the ring announcer introduces both to the crowd. The bell rings, they lock-up and we’re underway!

Skurge breaks the collar-and-elbow tie-up and immediately chops CTG in the chest! CTG responds with a chop of his own! Skurge goes for another chop, but CTG catches the arm and takes Skurge down into an arm bar. Skurge pulls himself towards the ropes, finally reaching, forcing CTG to break the arm bar. Skurge tries to shake some feeling back into his arm, but is met with a dropkick from CTG! Skurge rolls to the outside, trying to shake off the effects of both moves.

Skurge rolls into the ring to break the count, and rolls back out. The referee restarts the count, and Skurge does this two more times, frustrating CTG. CTG teases a tope to the floor, but stops at the ropes as Skurge is ready. Skurge starts talking back to some fans, and ‘Crete takes off with a no look tope suicido to the floor! Skurge catches CTG, and rams him shoulder first into the ring post! Skurge maintains his hold on CTG, ramming him into the post several more times. The referee abandons his count, going outside to check on CTG. Skurge rolls CTG back into the ring, and then throws him shoulder first into the corner.

Skurge continues the onslaught on CTG’s now injured shoulder spending the next 4 minutes solely focused on that one body part. Skurge finally lifts ‘Crete up, dropping him onto his knee for a shoulder-breaker. ‘Crete screams in pain as Skurge locks in a the cobra clutch, pulling on the injured shoulder in the process. CTG tries to fight out, finally getting Skurge towards a corner. CTG flips both men over, but they roll through, and Skurge catches CTG in a body scissors, still holding onto the clutch. CTG starts to fades out, and the referee checks the arm. It drops once…twice…three times! CTG is out and the match is over!
WINNER by TKO in 13:22 – Skurge

DAVIN MORELAND & ALEXANDER DARLING vs. BRYCE LARSON & NAYR

“War Machine” blasts over the PA and the fans get to their feet. Crowd Favorites Nayr and fellow Heroes' Guild Stablemate “Bulletproof” Bryce Larson wait patiently for their pyro and then make their way to the ring, slapping hands and signing autographs for 6-year olds, which makes up like 80% of their fan base (the rest made up by Comic Book Geeks, clearly, and a few straggling Indy Wankers). Finally they get to the ring and do some posing. Former Senior Referee Sterling Glaw will be working this match, his first “Heroes' Guild” match in a very long time. Intrigue? We'll see. The house lights suddenly go completely out, and in simple white block lettering on the black screen, the message “A New Era” fades onto the screen and slowly fades out. It's replaced by “Begins Tonight” and THAT slowly fades out. We hear the opening chords of ”Killing in the Name Of” . Finally, it's replaced in rapid fading succession by “GOAT” “Run DEA” “Alexander Darling” “Davin Moreland” and then darkness again, replaced by slow flashing Red and Blue lights throughout the arena until the first “Killing in the Name Of” comes from Tom Morello. Then, it's pyro here, there, and everywhere until the arena changes to a blacklight background with 2 small spotlights on Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling. Clearly Run DEA paid for their own production tonight. The two slowly make their way down to the ring, dressed uncharacteristically simply, wearing just long black wrestling tights with “Run DEA” in gold on the back. No move is made toward the crowd on the long, slow march to the ring. Both get to the floor near the ring apron and one-hop the apron before climbing through the ropes. Neither man takes their eyes off the other two. The music fades and these two look, well, a little different than normal, focused maybe. Both teams discuss who will start, and it looks like Nayr and Davin, oddly enough. Glaw calls for the bell, and WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Davin shoots a look over at Larson across the ring as Nayr is about to lock up with him. Clearly, Davin is looking to pick up where he left off with Larson, and Davin is yapping at him from across the ring. Davin tells Nayr to tag in Larson, and Nayr responds with a big kick to the face! The crowd loves that, but Davin no-sells the kick and GOOZLES Nayr, Choke slamming him to the mat! Davin points menacingly at Larson, before walking backwards and tagging in Darling. Darling is a little surprised by Davin's actions, but immediately goes over to cover Nayr, who is able to kick out at 2. Darling pulls Nayr up, and tries for a Slingshot Brain buster, but Nayr is able to counter into a Cross-Body after the slingshot. Darling rolls through and reverses into a cover, and Nayr kicks out at 2. Darling attacks, but Nayr catches him with a Pele Kick out of nowhere, followed by a speedy Springboard Back Elbow which staggers Darling. Nicely snapped off Hurricarana sends Darling to the mat. Nayr's gonna fly! He goes to the top rope and takes off for a beautiful Corkscrew Moonsault, but eats canvas as Darling rolls out of the way. Darling hits a Standing Moonsault of his own, and gets a 2 count. Darling is up, and drops a few elbows to the inside of Nayr's knee. The ground-and-pound approach seems to work as Nayr is struggling and is getting dragged closer to the wrong corner. Darling finally grabs Nayr's legs and goes for the DARLING MONEY CLIP! Nayr's in a bad spot, and his knee is already weakened. Glaw leans down to check on Nayr.

Larson comes across the ring to break the hold, but Moreland sees him coming and stops him halfway across the ring. Glaw breaks this up, and harasses Moreland back to his corner, which allows Larson to break the hold. Davin is steamed at Glaw at what he perceives as blatant favoritism. Darling shakes off the kick to the head, and is able to grab the weakened Nayr. He's got him on his shoulder and it looks like he's going to Lawn Dart him! Nayr slips out the back door and hits a weak Lung blower, but it's enough for Nayr to get to his own corner via an over-the-top forward roll and dramatically tag Larson. Larson is in just as Darling tags in Moreland, and we've got ourselves a face off. The two men circle for a bit before they lock up. They do lock up, and the much bigger Davin is shoving Larson around pretty easily. Larson is able to squeak free though, and tries for a hip toss. It's blocked by Davin, and when Larson tries a second time it's blocked again. Davin reverses into a DEEP Arm Drag. Larson runs at Davin quickly and eats ANOTHER Deep Arm Drag! Davin strikes a Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat pose and gets a nice little pop from the crowd. Larson is not amused and looks for another lock up. However, it appears that Davin isn't done channeling “The Dragon” and he blasts Larson with a couple of vicious chops followed by a nasty Palm Strike to the throat. Larson staggers around holding said throat. Davin one-hops the turnbuckle and hits the Flying Cross-Body on Larson! Larson is BARELY able to kick out at 2. Davin pulls Larson up and looks to be trying for a Power bomb, but you CAN'T POWERBOMB LARSON, and he Tor-na-do DDTs his way out of it. This prompts a double count, and Larson is the first up at 5. Larson hits a Running 450 Splash on Davin's back, and immediately locks on the CATTLE MUTILATION! Larson bridges up, and Davin is in big-time trouble! Darling is about to break the hold up, but Glaw cuts him off before he can get there and forces him back to the corner! They're in the middle of the ring, and it's just a question as to if Larson can hold the bridge long enough.

A full minute has passed, but Davin isn't giving yet, although he HAS to be getting close, and Larson is showing no signs of letting up on the bridge. Finally, after another full minute, and when it looks like Davin can take no more of this, Davin's boots appear to dig into the mat. In a mind-blowing display of strength, Davin is able to get upright, with his arms underhooked and Larson completely vertical! The crowd has no choice but to applaud this and start Darling's favorite chant, which he responds properly to and flips the crowd off. Davin wiggles a little, and Larson's feet hit the mat. Davin hits an UNPRETTIER which was all sorts of awesome. Glaw's gonna count again, and both men crawl to their corners. Both tag their partners at 7 dramatically, and Darling and Nayr charge each other. Darling whiffs on a Running Clothesline, and Nayr tags him with a Dropkick to the back of the head. Darling staggers all the way to the corner, where Nayr jacks his jaw with a High Running Knee Lift. Nayr takes a couple of steps backward and tries for a Driver of A Thousand Truths! But Nayr can't bring Darling over, and Darling reverses into a monster Styles Clash! Darling covers...1...2...LARSON PUT NAYR'S foot on the rope! Glaw breaks the cover, and now DARLING is heated and gets right in Glaw's face. Nayr tries to sneak under Darling during the argument and attempts a Schoolboy Rollup, but Darling GOOZLES Nayr, and brings him up with one arm. He's going for the Darling Driver! He gets Nayr up and gets BLASTED with a Slingshot Dropkick from Larson, who escapes back to the outside. Davin is absolutely LIVID. I've seen him pissed before, but this is another animal entirely and it looks like he's going to bust a blood vessel at Glaw. Glaw has to point to his OOWF logo several times before Davin is chased back to his corner. Meanwhile Larson is slugging away at Darling while Nayr is in a heap outside the ring in his corner. There's no way Glaw saw any sort of tag, but he apparently allows it, pushing Davin even further.

Larson starts blasting Darling in the head with elbows, and it seriously looks like Glaw is going to stop the match until Davin starts to run in again. Glaw cuts him off and Larson has plenty of time to lock in another CATTLE MUTILATION! Darling stays in this for a little bit until he's able to quickly flip over, bridge out of it, and hit a BACKSLIDE on Larson. Larson just does barely slip out before 3, and Darling questions the length of the count. Darling tries to lock on the Darling Money Clip, but Larson shoves him off. Larson tries a Rolling Clothesline, but Darling is able to reverse into a Magistral Cradle! THAT gets a long 2, and this time Darling doesn't stop to argue. Springboard Moonsault from Darling connects and that should do it...1...2...NO! Larson proves to live up to his “Bulletproof” nickname and kicks out again. Darling pulls up Larson again, and tries for a German Suplex, but Larson slips out the back door and NAILS Darling with a LUNGBLOWER that looked just brutal. Double count again, and Larson is up first at 4, and looks to be crawling and then walking toward Nayr to tag out. Out of NOWHERE Davin comes FLYING across the ring and NAILS Larson with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! He goes after Nayr and Clotheslines him off the apron! Slingshot Elbow to the outside on Nayr, and then he is LAWN DARTED OUT INTO THE CROWD! Glaw is flipping out on Moreland outside the ring, and Davin tells Glaw that he's number one in his own special way. Davin retreats to his own corner as both Darling and Larson are down again. Glaw is-a-countin' and it gets to 5 before Darling is able to get his feet and tag in Davin, not so dramatically this time. Glaw recognizes the tag but he's clearly not happy and checks his watch. Larson on the other hand crawled to his own corner and looks to tag out, but Nayr has been LAWN DARTED and will be unable to appear presently. Davin talks Darling into standing and they both make the sign for the DDDC (DDP Diamond Sign followed by Benoit Throat Slash). Darling GOOZLES Larson and gets him on his shoulders. Davin runs the ropes...DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER! No one gets out of that! Davin covers, and Glaw counts....VERY slowly...1...........2.........thr...DING DING!!! The fuck?
YOUR DECISION in 20:00...Time Limit Draw!

Davin goes BALLISTIC on Glaw and to be fair, it was a really slow count at the end no matter who you were rooting for. Darling tries to get in on the argument, but Davin shoves him away and holds him back, because Darling looks like he's out for blood. Finally Darling begs off and looks like he's heading to the back, but Davin isn't anywhere NEAR done yet. Fingers are pointing in faces, and the conditions here are deteriorating quickly. Finally Davin says something and points to Glaw's OOWF logo, and GLAW SHOVES HIM! Glaw points even harder at his logo. Davin gets right in Glaw's face, threatening life and limb I'm sure, and GLAW SHOVES HIM AGAIN! Davin does the fake turn away thing, and NAILS GLAW WITH A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin smacktalks for a second before flipping Glaw and locking on the SHARPSHOOTER! The bell is doing the constant ringing thing, and that's when Darling turns around to see Davin with Glaw in the Sharpshooter. Darling flies back into the ring and is able to break up the hold, and leads his partner to the back as “Killing in the Name Of” plays again.

POE & KZ vs. STANK & THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER

The crowd surges to its feet as “Alcohaulin Ass” blares through the arena. Stank, Outback Jack and Gatorbait step onto the stage, drink in the cheers, and storm down the aisle. They climb into the ring and acknowledge the crowd until “Misera Cantare” hits, and Poe, Moosehead Jack, and L.D. Williams enter the arena. Selena accompanies them onto the stage, but Poe sends her to the back before they head to the ring. Referee Davis Hightower looks concerned as the six men go toe-to-toe, but relaxes visibly when Stank and Poe send their partners to their corners and circle to start the match. Hightower calls for the bell and we're underway.

Poe and Stank lock up, and Stank forces Poe to a neutral corner. Hightower calls for, and surprisingly gets, a clean break. They lock up again and repeat the process, this time with Poe in control. Again, a clean break. A third lock up, and Poe grabs a headlock. Stank shoots him off and tries a clothesline, but Poe ducks. Poe rebounds off the far ropes and his clothesline connects. Poe grabs Stank in a front facelock and connects with several knees to the face, then takes him over with a suplex. He pulls Stank up and wrings the arm, then reaches out to tag Moose, who comes in with an elbow to the shoulder. Moose takes over the arm, wrings it again, and drives a kick into Stank's stomach, followed by an elbow to the back of his head. Moose grabs a front facelock, but before he can do anything Stank drives him back into the corner, knocking the wind out of him. Stank rocks him with a series of European uppercuts until Moose stops him with a thumb to the eye. Stank staggers back, and Moose kicks him in the face, then drops him with a neckbreaker. He covers, but Stank powers out at one. Moos moves back in as Stank gets up, but Stank catches him with a hard right to the jaw, sends him to the ropes, and plants him with a spinebuster. He reaches out and tags Outback Jack.

With a snarl, OBJ storms into the ring and starts stomping on Moose. He props him into a sitting position, then rebounds off the ropes into a diving clothesline that drives Moose's skull into the mat. OBJ lifts Moose into a vertical suplex and holds him there, glaring at Williams for almost a full minute before turning the move into a jackhammer on the way down. OBJ covers, but Williams breaks it up at two. As he does, Gator sprints across the ring and tackles him, sending both men through the ropes to the floor. OBJ drives Moose into the corner and attacks with punches, then sends him across the ring and follows with a clothesline. He drives his shoulder into Moose's stomach a number of times, then picks him up and plants him in the middle of the ring. He drives an elbow into his throat, and covers, getting a long two count.

Outside the ring, Gator slings Williams into the railing and runs at him, but Williams backdrops him into the crowd. Williams moves to follow, but Gator punches him in the face, then slams his face into the railing and drags him into the crowd. They slug it out, and Williams gains the advantage with a low kick, then grabs a chair and slams it into Gator's head. He tries for a DDT, but Gator blocks. Williams doubles Gator over with a knee to the stomach, then suplexes him onto a row of chairs. He reaches for Gator in the rubble, but gets a kick in the face for his trouble. Gator gets up with a chair in his hand and returns the shot to the head. Gator tries to whip him into the railing, but Williams reverses. Gator hits the steel and Williams attempts a spear, but gets only steel when Gator dodges. Williams staggers to his feet and Gator gets a running start, hitting a clothesline that takes both men over the railing and back to ringside.

As Gator crawls back to the D&D corner, OBJ drives Moose into the turnbuckles and tags Stank. OBJ holds Moose for a kick to the ribs from Stank. Poe tries to come in, but Hightower cuts him off, allowing D&D to hit a tandem suplex. Stank hits the ropes and lands on Moose with the Stankonia 2.0. He covers, but Moose just rolls a shoulder. Stank stomps on Moose, then hits the ropes, but Williams hooks his ankle, tripping him up. Stank gets to his feet and lunges at Williams, which is all the distraction Moose needs, and he spins Stank around and nails the Heart punch. Stank drops, and Moose staggers to his corner and tags Poe.

Poe catches Stank with a running knee as he gets up and hits a series of forearms and kicks. He sends Stank across the ring and hits a brutal spine buster. After a dropping a leg across the throat, he sits Stank up and drives his knee into his back a number of times. He locks on the Dragon Sleeper and Stank struggles, but can't get free. Hightower is in position to keep TTFDU from coming in, and Stank is trapped for a long time before he manages to turn a little in the hold. A number of elbows to the midsection break the hold, but Poe immediately hooks him and snaps off a DDT. He covers, but Stank rolls a shoulder just before the three. Poe lifts him for a body slam, but Stanks slips free and lands behind him, and hits a beautiful German suplex. He sends Poe to the ropes and buries a knee in his midsection, then goes to the ropes and hits a spinning neck breaker. He drags Poe to the D&D corner and tags Gator.

Gator hops onto the second turnbuckle as Stank hooks Poe and drives his face into his knee. Poe staggers back and Gator leaps, hitting a sunset flip. Hightower counts, but Williams breaks it up by dropkicking Gator in the face. Hightower shoos him out of the ring as Poe gets up. OBJ grabs his arms from behind and Gator lines up a kick to the head, but Poe dodges at the last second and Gator stops just short of leveling his partner. He turns around, and Poe hits a Yakuza kick of his own. He grabs Gator before he falls and sends him into the opposite corner, where Williams is waiting with a solid left hook. Poe comes over and makes the tag, and they send Gator to the ropes and plant him with a flapjack.

Williams pounces on Gator with lefts and rights, then pins him to the mat with a choke. Hightower counts four, and Williams lets go, only to resume the hold. Hightower pries him off and checks on Gator, but Williams comes right back with stomps and kicks. He drags Gator to his feet and sends him to the ropes, but Gator grabs the ropes to stop himself. Williams runs at him, but Gator drops down and pulls down the ropes. Williams goes over, but catches himself and lands on the apron. They exchange punches, and Williams staggers Gator, then slingshots himself over the ropes and into a Canadian Destroyer! He covers, but OBJ is in to break it up, which brings in Moose as well. Moose hits a clothesline that takes them both over the ropes to the floor as Williams crawls over to make another cover. This time Stank breaks it up. Williams gets to his feet and faces Stank, as Poe enters the ring. Gator suddenly rolls Williams up from behind and gets a very long two count. Stank reaches for Williams, but Poe spins him around and they start exchanging punches.

Gator and Williams get slowly to their feet. Williams takes a wild swing and Gator ducks, getting in some kicks to the kidneys before dropping him with a backstabber. Williams rolls to the ropes where Moose is outside the ring, and when he gets up he's holding a barbed wire bat. He turns around, just in time to see Gator catch a chair thrown by OBJ. Hightower steps between them and warns both men, but quickly bails when it's clear they aren't listening. Both Gator and Williams swing, and the bat echoes off the chair. The bell rings as Hightower throws up his hands and tosses the match.
WINNER - Double Disqualification in 20:23

After the match: Poe and Stank, still exchanging punches, tumble out of the ring and brawl at ringside. Moose and OBJ face off on the floor, while Gator and Williams do the same in the ring. Suddenly the crowd erupts, and Bryce Larson and Nayr sprint down the aisle. Bryce launches into a flying forearm that slams Moose backwards into the apron, while Nayr takes OBJ down with a dropkick. Gator risks a glance to the outside, and Williams jabs him with the bat and drops him with a DDT. Williams looks at the carnage on the floor, then slings himself over the ropes and drops onto OBJ and Nayr. As the five men brawl on the floor, Gator regains his feet. He hits the ropes on the far side and sprints across the ring, launching into a no-hands plancha that takes everyone down. The brawl continues as they get to their feet, and more chairs soon come into play. The ringside area is flooded by officials and security trying to separate the three teams.


OOWF Intercontinental Title Tournament – Round 1[/u]

THE DEAD vs. BLITZ

We have our opening match for the OOWF Intercontinental title. Heroes Guild member Blitz makes his way to the ring first, sprinting down the ramp and sliding into the ring. Blitz plays to the crowd and gets a great reaction. OOWF loner, The Dead, is out next. He comes out to the top of the ramp, and gets a surprisingly loud response from the crowd. He grins a little and makes his way to the ring. The referee calls for the bell, and we are underway! The Dead charges at Blitz and catches him off guard, landing several stiff chops and backing him against the ropes. Dead whips Blitz across the ring and follows him, Blitz slides under the bottom rope and lands on his feet on the floor. The Dead, just a step or two behind Blitz, leaps over the top rope and grabs Blitz and hits a NECKBREAKER on the floor! Blitz writhes in agony, but The Dead is a bit worse for the wear as well. Both are slow to their feet, but both beat the count back into the ring. Dead pulls Blitz to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then catches him on the jaw with a spinning heel kick that sends Blitz staggering backward into the corner to the mat. The Dead gets a running start and charges into the corner and tries a drop kick to Blitz’s face, but Blitz falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. The Dead crashes and burns into the corner and Blitz slingshots himself over the top rope and drops a knee right across The Dead’s chest. Blitz pulls Dead out of the corner and covers him, but Dead rolls his shoulder at two. Blitz pulls Dead to a sitting position and grabs him his arms and drives his knee between his shoulder blades. Dead fights to his feet but before he can free himself, Blitz reverses the move into a belly to back suplex then grabs the hold again and drives his knee between his shoulder blades for a moment, then rears back and connects with several stiff kicks to the back of Dead’s head. Blitz releases Dead and pulls him to his feet and grabs him for a suplex, then hooks the leg for a Fisherman suplex and hits the BLITZ ATTACK (corkscrew Fisherman brainbuster!) DEAD is, well, DEAD! Blitz covers, but Dead kicks out at two. Blitz looks shocked and heads to the corner and climbs to the ropes and hits a moonsault! Blitz covers again, and once again Dead kicks out at two. Blitz shows a little frustration and heads to the apron and waits for Dead to get to his feet. Dead struggles to his feet, and can barely stand. Blitz springs to the top rope, and leaps, trying for a flying clothesline, but Dead was playing possum! He POPS Blitz in mid-air with the CLOSE THE CASKET! Blitz’s head snaps back, he may have been out cold in mid-air. Dead covers, hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNER in 9:47 – The Dead

ZANE MYERS vs. TYTAN

“The Fight Inside” blasts over the PA and Tytan, looking slightly confused and disheveled as he makes his way down the ramp, virtually ignoring his pyro as he makes his way into the ring. Clearly he's still having trouble adjusting to everything that's been going on the last few weeks. “What the Cat Dragged In” comes over the PA, and the Zaniacs go BATSHIT for Zane Myers as he makes his way down the ramp. Myers is trying to shake hands with everyone in the building so this looks like it's going to take a while. Referee Junior Hale will officiate this Intercontinental Title Tournament Quarterfinal Match. FINALLY Myers gets to the ring, and he does a 4-corner pose (we see Tytan mouthing “You've got to be fucking kidding me”) and the Zaniacs go, well, zany. Myers looks back finally to the ring and Creech, without moving, says “You about ready?” Myers nods and Hale calls for the bell...and WE'RE UNDERWAY!

At the bell, Myers charges across the ring at Tytan, stunning him with a clothesline. Myers hits the rope and hits a Hogan Leg drop and covers...that doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers goes to attack again, but Tytan simply grabs Myers' arms and crushes him with a head butt. Tytan follows up with some brawling punches, backing Myers into the corner. Tytan assaults Myers with some back elbows and some knees and some shoulder blocks. Myers is weakened, and Tytan puts him on the top turnbuckle. He's going for the Ultimo Ending already, but when he pulls Myers off, Myers reverses to a DDT, much to the delight of the Zaniacs. Hale starts the double count. Myers is up first at 6.

Myers walks over to Tytan and pulls him up, and then plants him with a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Myers covers again, and again, he doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers pulls Tytan up again and nails him with a German Suplex. Myers follows with an elbow drop and covers again. This time he gets an actual 1 count. Myers pulls up Tytan again, but before he can get a hold of him, Tytan hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex on Myers. Myers gets up groggy, and Tytan hooks him in and plants him with a Slingshot Brainbuster. Tytan appears to have come back to us here on Earth apparently, and he starts stomping on Myers like he's Randy Orton. At one point he tries a cover, and it gets a quick two. The stomping resumes, and eventually Tytan grabs Myers' legs...he's going for Corporate Red Tape! And...he gets him turned over!

The Zaniacs are pleading for Myers to come back...and he looks like he's Zaning-Up! He's got the Power of the Shaky Arm, and bah gawd, he gets to the ropes, forcing Tytan to break the hold. The crowd goes apeshit. Tytan turns to press an attack on Myers, but Myers Shoulder blocks him, and then hits Tytan with a straight kick to the face; which wobbles Tytan slightly. Running High Knee Lift by Myers and Tytan is reeling, and leaning against the ropes to hold himself up. Myers poses for the Zaniacs, and he gets Tytan on his shoulders! He's got him in the TORTURE RACK! Myers is sporting the “Lex” look and it looks like Tytan is in big time trouble and is fading. But somehow, Tytan finds the Power of the Shaky Arm deep within him and comes to life, finally diving for the rope as Myers gets near one. Hale is late in breaking the hold and Myers is able to pull him away from the ropes! He's got him! This is going to be a HUGE upset! Suddenly, with one last surge on energy, Tytan is able to break his legs free and slips out the back door! LUNGBLOWER from Tytan sends Myers to the mat, and Hale is going to count again. At 8 both men are up again, and they start slugging it out with haymakers in the middle of the ring. Finally Tytan appears to get the best of it, and Myers ends up in the corner. Standing Dropkick by Tytan in a great show of agility! This splats Myers against the corner and he's woozy. Tytan sits him on the top turnbuckle and gets on the second turnbuckle himself. He's got Myers hooked! ULTIMO ENDING! This puppy's done.
WINNER in 14:26 by Pin fall and advancing to the Intercontinental Championship Tournament Semifinals...TYTAN!

THE AMNESIAC vs. CHRIS EVANS

Russ: Well folks, that match was certainly something. But now we've got the Amnesiac facing "Cubheart" Chris Evans. Razz, your thoughts?
Razz: Well, the Amnesiac is definitely off-the-chain, but Chris Evans may be off-the-chain-y-er. I think this match will be very back and forth-ish.
Russ: Bah Gawd Razz, you really massacred the English language there.

Razz puts Russ in the Razzmission as "I Can't Remember" by Alice in Chains blasts over the Springfield Dome Sound System. A few ironic shouts of "Go Isotopes!" are heard as the Amnesiac heads down to the ring. He starts to climb the ring stairs, pauses at the top because that looks cool, then enters the ring and poses for whatever fans will cheer for him. Next, "The Trooper" by Iron Maiden plays, and Chris Evans comes out to boos since he's trying to be part of an asshole heel faction. The Amnesiac stares at Evans as he comes down to the ring. Obviously, he hasn't forgotten Evans' mockery of him.

Russ: Evans really licked some serious DEA boot when he called the Amnesiac nowhere near as talented as Davin Moreland.
Razz: Well, he also talked a lot about his opponent should he beat the Amnesiac, Firewoman.
Russ: It's an old maxim in this business that one should keep focused on his current match, isn't it, Razz?
Razz: That's for sure. I mean, I can't think of any anecdotes from my in-ring years that support that saying, but it's true.
Russ: What about that time you-
Razz: No!

Razz gives Russ a devastating Razzplex as referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Both men lock up, and the Amnesiac has the clear advantage as he uses his upper body strength to force Evans into the corner. Barros calls for the break, and the Amnesiac gives it. He turns his back as he walks away. Evans is furious as he walks out of the corner. Another lock-up and this time Evans gets the go-behind. He strains for the belly-to-back suplex but the Amnesiac has all the energy in the world to fight it off. Elbow to the head, and the Amnesiac spins around and decks Evans with a clothesline. The Amnesiac pulls up Evans and whips him to the ropes, on the rebound he goes for another clothesline but Evans ducks it and comes back with the Lionsault. However, he is caught by the Amnesiac, due to the latter's upper body strength. The Amnesiac spins Evans around and flips him overhead with a fallaway slam. The crowd cheers for this exchange, but the Amnesiac barely gets a one count with the pin fall.

The Amnesiac drops some clubbing hammer blows on Evans as he starts to get up. Evans drops to the mat and the Amnesiac goes for a huge jumping elbow drop which whiffs completely as Evans rolls out of the way. As the Amnesiac starts to sit up, Evans pastes him with the Olympic Strike! Now it's Evan's turn to try for the pin fall, and this one gets a two count.

Evans runs the ropes as the Amnesiac gets up, and attempts the Clothesline from Hades! But Amnesiac ducks the clothesline and catches Evans and complete shots him. He runs to the corner and climbs to the top rope. As a dazed Evans gets to his feet, the Amnesiac leaps off the top rope for a cross body attack. He transitions it into a pin fall and it gets a two count this time.

Evans is still dazed enough from the weight of the Amnesiac's upper body to allow the Amnesiac to whip him into the corner. He recovers enough to dodge a huge stinger splash attempt. As the Amnesiac stumbles back, Evans grabs him and nails him with the Regal-Plex. Evans bridges for yet another two count.

Evans looks frustrated, and one can tell that he wants this match to be over and done with. As the Amnesiac gets to his feet, Evans drops him with the Eye of the Storm. He makes the throat cutting gesture in a tribute to some obscure wrestler, then climbs to the top of a turnbuckle. He psyches himself up and attempts the Toronto Twister! But the Amnesiac just barely manages to roll out of the way of this awesomely named move. Both men are still down and Barros starts the ten count.

The Amnesiac is up at around seven or so. He hauls up Evans and starts to raise him for a DDT, but then seems to change his mind. He notes how Evans appears to be basically unconscious from the impact of his failed move. Evans is hauled to the nearest corner, and the Amnesiac hoists him onto the top rope. Yes, it looks like it'll be a top rope Pure Amnesia! But seeing how a missing a top rope move hurts, yeah, but it it'll never knock you out, Evans starts fighting off Amnesiac with head butts and punches. As the Amnesiac starts to fall backwards, Evans catches him and pulls him back onto the second rope. Evans lets the tension build for a second, then swings the Amnesiac around with a second rope Tornado DDT! That's it for the Amnesiac, as Evans makes the academic pin.
WINNER in 22:11 – Chris Evans

FIREWOMAN vs. SPIN HANSEN

Huge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and The Cult’s "Firewoman” blares out as Firewoman steps through the fire and out onto the ramp. She walks down the ramp and slides into the ring.


The area goes dark and strobe lights starts up and “Exterminate, Annihilate, Destroy” by Rotersand blares out of the speakers…Spin Hanson charges out and down the ramp and into the ring…

He goes right at Firewoman hitting her with a right and left combo that backs her into the corner…Spin follows her back hitting her with a combo to her sides…she covers up and referee steps in to separate the two as Spin is being backed out of the corner Firewoman catches Spin with a thumb to the eye….she grabs Spin who is holding his face and Irish whips him into the far corner…Spin hits the corner hard chest first and as he bounces back Fire catches hit with a drop kick to his back..Spin goes down face first to the second turnbuckle and fire jumps on him giving him a modified bronco buster…all she needs now is her riding crop…

Fire struts around the ring and again charges at Spin who is struggling to his feet. Hanson sidesteps the charging Firewoman and hit hits the turnbuckle’s metal support shoulder first.
She grimaces in pain and Spin follows up by grabbing her hair and pulling her up. He throws her over his shoulder and steps into a shoulder breaker…down goes Fire…Spin for the pin. Fire out quickly in one. Spin grabs hold of Fire with an Orton like rest hold……………………………

Fire still fighting her way to a vertical base while in a side headlock, sliding out she counters with a wrist lock, slipping behind Spin she twist his arm up higher. Spin looking for options looks left, right, reaching overhead, below he finally catches Fire with an elbow to her head…she pushes Spin off releasing the hold and both opponents stand in the middle of the ring…Spin shaking his wrist, Fire still working her shoulder…

They tie up with a collar and elbow…Spin gains the advantage and whips Fire into the ropes, Spin attempts a clothesline but Fire ducks and bounces off the far ropes and catches Hanson with a hurricanrana. She reaches back and grabs Spins leg and goes for a pin…..1….2…and Hanson pushes Fire off…

Fire hits Spin with a double axe handle to the head and goes for the cover again…1….2….and again Hanson kicks out. Fire is up, Hanson is up, Fire charges Hanson and he catches her with an arm drag and hold on for a twisting arm bar. Spin hauls Fire up and maneuvers her into a front face lock. Spin lifts Fire up and delivers a Brain buster…Spin stands up and…..wait a minute…. D.H. Magnusson is making his way to the ring….now wait a damn minute. DH has no business down here. Somebody better call security. Spin sees his and begins jawing at his from inside the ring and DH is standing ringside yelling back. Fire is up and bounces off the far ropes and leaps over Spin and the ropes catching Hanson with a guillotine on the ropes as she lands on her feet outside the ring. Hanson staggers back holding his throat. Fire quickly climbs the turnbuckle and dives off the top rope to deliver a frog splash but BAMM. But Hanson uses her momentum and rolls over for the pin…1…..2….3…Spin Hanson gets the win!
WINNER in 15:55 – Spin Hansen

Hanson is up and meets DH as DH is entering the ring. Spin catches DH as he is stepping through the ropes and delivers a hanging DDT that has DH’s legs on the second ropes. Spin turns and BAMM catches a chair to the face from Firewoman. Hanson goes down like fat girl at a Motley Crue concert. Fire stands over him chair in her hand shaking uncontrollable. DH grabs her and she flexes with the chair…DH puts his hands up as to say easy…easy…Fire throws the chair down on top of Spin and DH and Fire slip out of the ring and up the ramp…

MATTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Thim Reynolds is announced first and makes his way to the ring, no real fan fare, he doesn’t acknowledge the crowd, he is completely focused on the match. Thim rolls under the bottom rope and heads to the corner and waits, glaring at the ramp the whole time, waiting for Matte to make his way to the ring. The OOWF Onslaught Champion Matte is announced as “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays. He comes to the ring, looking lost as always, dragging the title behind him. Matte dumps the title off at announce table and slides into the ring and slumps in the corner. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. Thim walks to the middle of the ring, but does not charge into the corner. He stands there with his arms folded and waits for Matte to come out of the corner. Matte doesn’t move either though, so we have a stalemate ten seconds into the match. Finally Matte slowly gets to his feet and walks to the middle of the ring and goes nose to nose with Thim. Without saying a word, Thim catches Matte with a knee to the gut, then a knee lift, then grabs his head and snapmares him to the mat, and lands a stiff kick to the back of his head, then runs the rope and connects with a falling clothesline to the back of Matte’s head that folds him in half and slams his forehead off the mat. Thim slams him back and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Thim pulls him to his feet and connects with several kicks to the ribs, then traps Matte in an abdominal stretch. Matte grunts in pain as Thim digs his elbow into Matte’s separated ribs. Finally, Matte fights out of it and hip tosses Thim to the mat, then catches him with a drop toe hold as Thim gets back to his feet. Matte rebounds off the ropes and connects with a drop kick to Thim’s face that sends him under the ropes to the floor. Matte gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and crashes into Thim as he gets to his feet. Thim’s back slams against the guard rail, but Matte doesn’t escape unscathed either, he smacks his shoulder and the back of his head on the guard rail. Both men remain on the floor while the referee starts the ten count. Thim is up first, at seven, and pulls Matte up and rolls him under the bottom rope into the ring. As Thim steps between the ropes, Matte shocks him and grabs a small package for a two count. Thim quickly spins out of that and catches Matte with a stiff kick to the side of the head that sends him to the mat. Thim bounds off the ropes and drops a knee across his chest and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Thim pulls Matte up and hooks the arm, and twists his neck, trying to separate Matte’s shoulder. Matte grunts in pain, but will not quit. He slowly works his way to his feet and nails Thim with several elbows to the mid-section, then hits the ropes and ducks a clothesline and rebounds with a clothesline of his own that staggers Thim. Matte scoops him up and plants him on the mat, then drops a leg across his chest. Matte decides to go high risk and tries a senton splash but Thim gets his knees up! Matte writhes in pain and slowly gets to his feet, Thim grabs him from behind in the TAZZMISSION! Thim pulls him to the mat, but they are close enough to the ropes that Matte is able to force a break. That’s his first. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and scoops him up, but Matte slips off his shoulder and hits a side-Russian leg sweep and covers, but Thim rolls his shoulder at two. Matte gets to his feet and waits for Thim to get up, kicks him low, and grabs him for a DDT, but Thim powers Matte back into the corner. Thim connects with several shoulders to the gut, then takes a few steps back and tries another, but Matte side steps and Thim nails the post! Matte pulls Thim up in the corner and blisters him with several chops, then sets him on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex! Matte hooks him, but Thim fights out of it with elbows and punches to the ribs. Finally he slips free and grabs Matte by the throat and TRAPS HIM IN THE TAZZMISSION ON THE TOP ROPE! Thim falls to the mat, pulling Matte with him, and locks the hold in complete with the body scissors! Matte struggles, but he cannot make the ropes! After several agonizing seconds, Matte fades and the referee calls for the bell!
WINNER in 13:29 and NEW OOWF Onslaught Champion – Thim Reynolds

After the match, Thim releases the hold and holds the title in the air. Seamus McNasty slides into the ring and spears Thim to the mat and the two of them start brawling. Officials flood the ring and separate the two. They have to do it several times since one or the other keeps breaking free. Finally things seem to have calmed down and they get Seamus out of the ring. The whole time, Matte is standing in a corner watching the events unfold. He spots the Onslaught Championship and grabs it and heads to Thim’s corner and starts to hand it to him, then BLASTS him in the face with it! Thim falls to one knee, stunned, Matte stares at him for a moment, then leaves the ring and heads to the back.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the Sunday Bloody Sunday PPV! Live, April 26th, from Hollywood, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 22nd from Hollywood Park, Texas

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Run DEA's record would be a lot better if they dropped Jobber Darling.

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Hollywood, California

<GM the Rick comes out to the top of the ramp with a mic>

Ok, as all of you know, Chris Cole lost a retirement match to Davin Moreland last week. While the match was a non-title match, which means Davin is NOT getting the intercontinental title handed to him, obviously with Cole gone, the title is vacant. Starting next week, we are going to hold an eight person tournament to fill the vacancy. Our first round matchups are as follows <GM the Rick points to the OOTron>:

Firewoman vs. Spin Hansen
The Amnesiac vs. Chris Evans
Zane Myers vs. Tytan
The Dead vs. Blitz

Ok, so there you go, it’s set, I am not changing it, if you are not in it, don’t complain to me about it. Enjoy the show.

ALEXANDER DARLING vs. DAMON WRATH

Damon Wrath is already in the ring and no one seems to care about him until “There Can Be Only One” booms throughout the arena and the fog machine kicks in near the entrance. The blue spotlight starts circling the arena as AFI’s “Prelude 12/21” starts to play. Alexander and Alexis Darling make their way out in full slow-motion douchebaggery entrance, but shockingly it’s not getting the complete hatred it normally gets. The Darlings wait as they like to do until “Princes of the Universe” by Queen begins to play. It’s not quite a mixed reaction as the Darlings make their way down to the ring, but there are small pockets of fans that are not wishing Alexander and his sister dead tonight. Alexander slides under the bottom rope and sneers at Damon Wrath as Alexis makes her way around the outside and grabs a microphone from the Anglo-Saxon Announce Table. Well that will probably get the fans to turn on Darling most likely. Alex takes his perch on one of the turnbuckles as Alexis hands him the microphone.

Alexander: So, I told the world to be prepared for a new era of Run DEA and unfortunately for Mr. Wrath over there, he gets to be one of the first victims. It’s time for the birth of the next great tag team in the OOWF. So, hit the music…

“NOTORIOUS” blasts over the speakers and out from the back steps the former 3-time OOWF World Champion and longest reigning OOWF Onslaught Champion in history, Davin Moreland with Samantha Darling. And again, it’s not entirely a hostile reaction here in Hollywood, California as Davin and Samantha are making their way down the aisle and into the ring. The sisters meet up and head to the far corner while Alex hops off the turnbuckles and hands the microphone over to Davin.

Davin: Davin Moreland would like to thank Alexander Darling for the microphone. And Davin Moreland would also like to thank Alexander for coming to Davin Moreland with this idea. The tag team scene in the OOWF has been sorely lacking since the Division Killers and Davin Moreland’s’ brothers got unceremoniously and cheaply beat in a loser leaves town match. So now that Alexander and I have decided to come together, we’re putting notice out to every other tag team in this company.

Alexander: IHOP, Heroes, kz, Team From Down Under…

Davin: All nothing but victims. Except for you Gator and Outback. You want to run my brothers out of town and call Run DEA out. Be careful what you ask for mates. Your day of reckoning is coming.

Alexander: It’s been said before, but it’s time to say it again. We are Run DEA. Try and Fucking Stop Us. Now get Hi-C Saki out here so we can get this over with.

A stagehand comes out from the back and he’s trying to explain what’s going on to Hi-Vo Sakamoto. He seems to finally understand it as we hear the announcement that this has been changed to a tag team match.

*Bonus Match*

RUN DEA (w/Alexis & Samantha) vs. DAMON WRATH & HI-VO SAKAMOTO

And since everyone is already in the ring, it doesn’t take long to get this match started as Davin gets to start this out for Run DEA and Damon Wrath is starting this out for his team. Mel Creech calls for the bell and we are underway. Wrath goes for a lockup, but Davin is having none of that and he takes Wrath over with a DEEP ARMDRAG. DW gets back to his feet and he looks pissed as he charges Moreland. Another DEEP ARMDRAG. Steamboat would be proud of Moreland with those arm drags. Davin holds onto the arm as he pulls Wrath into his corner and he makes the tag to Alex. Darling leaps over the top and comes down with his knee on Damon’s arm. And now it’s Alexander’s turn to work as he whips Damon to the ropes and he connects with a picture-perfect dropkick. And Damon goes flying back all the way to his corner and he reaches up to make the tag. Sakamoto looks confused but he reaches down and makes the tag.

HVS goes for the lockup, but Alex slips around and grabs a waist lock and he takes Hi-Vo down to the mat. He floats over the top of Sakamoto’s back and he rolls Hi-Vo back to his feet before taking him right back down with a snap suplex. He doesn’t let go as he rolls and he picks Sakamoto up again…SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. And once again, Darling holds on as he rolls back to his feet. HVS gets taken up in the air once again and brought right back down with a BRAINBUSTER. Darling gets to his feet and walks to his corner and he tags in Moreland.

Davin is in and he’s playing with Hi-Vo as he kicks him trying to get him back to his feet. Sakamoto is shaking the cobwebs loose as he gets back to a vertical base and he stares down Davin. DM gives the universal motion to bring it, and HVS is more than happy to try as he starts throwing a variety of spinning martial arts kicks as Davin ducks and weaves his way around the strikes and finally Hi-Vo looks like he tires himself out and DM damn near takes his head off with a LARIATOOOO. He shakes his head as he leans down and picks him up before tossing him into his corner. Damon Wrath looks like he wants no part of this match, but Davin doesn’t seem to care as he takes HVS’ hand and forces a tag before backing to the center of the ring. Creech calls for Wrath to enter the ring.

Damon is tentative as he starts to circle Moreland, but Davin calls for a test of strength and Damon has really gotten stupid as DM kicks him in the stomach as he comes in. Moreland doesn’t waste time as he lifts him up into a power bomb position…RUNNING POWERBOMB INTO THE CORNER and DW may be dead. Davin shakes his head as he drags Wrath to his corner and he tags in Alex. Darling and Moreland begin to work over Damon with a multitude of double-team moves that would even make the MCMG proud. Davin whips Wrath hard into the corner and then he follows it up by whipping Alex in after him. Darling connects with a clothesline as he slides out of the ring and holds Damon up just as Davin charges in and connects with a sick MAFIA KICK. Wrath falls to the mat as Davin now slingshots Alex back into the ring who twists in mid-air and hits a kick right to Wrath’s face.

Finally Sakamoto is back in the ring as he tries to attack Davin from behind. Moreland shakes that off and hits a Savate Kick on HVS as Alexander begins to climb the ropes. Davin lands some punches on Hi-Vo as Alex gets into position. Darling is up on the top rope as Davin lifts Sakamoto up and he places him on Darling’s shoulders on the top rope…DARLING BOMBSHELL and Sakamoto may be dead.

Now Wrath has gotten back to his feet and he’s hammering away on Alex from behind, but Alex fires back with two nasty back elbows and we can hear him yell, “Fuck You Larson.” And then a PELE KICK from Darling sends DW staggering. A right from Moreland spins him back towards Alex who picks him up on his shoulders and he tosses him off towards Davin who is in the perfect position for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER. Wrath rolls to the outside while Alex and Davin turn their attention back to Hi-Vo Sakamoto. Alex lifts him up and places him across his shoulders; hand across the throat just as Davin hits the ropes…DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER.

Okay, enough is enough but it doesn’t look like Run DEA is done as the Darling sisters have rolled Wrath back into the ring and now Davin is standing behind Sakamoto while Darling is in the same position relative to Wrath. Alex and Davin lock the legs and grab their opponents by the back of the head…DUAL RUN DEA CURBSTOMPS. And it’s still not over as Davin grabs Sakamoto’s legs and he steps through and turns him over; Alex does the same as he puts his hand through DW’s legs and turns him over…

SHARPSHOOTER and MONEY CLIP and it don’t take long at all for Wrath and Sakamoto to start tapping. Creech doesn’t seem to care if anything that happened was legal, but he calls for the bell and this one is thankfully over. And it looks like the new team has new music as Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing in the Name” starts to play. If Davin and Alexander continue to look that good, the OOWF Tag Team Division just got a whole lot tougher as they put on a clinic tonight.
WINNERS in 6:13…Davin Moreland and Alexander Darling…Run DEA!

ZANE MYERS vs. TYTAN

“The Fight Inside” by Red fires up and Tytan, looking slightly confused as he makes his way down the ramp, virtually ignoring his pyro as he makes his way into the ring. “What the Cat Dragged In” comes over the PA, and the Zaniacs go crazy for Zane Myers as he makes his way down the ramp. Myers is trying to shake hands with everyone in the building so this looks like it's going to take a while. Referee Mel Creech takes a hit off his flask as he relaxes in the corner. FINALLY Myers gets to the ring, and he does a 4-corner pose (we see Tytan mouthing “You've got to be fucking kidding me”) and the Zaniacs go, well, zany. Myers looks back finally to the ring and Creech, without moving, says “You about ready?” Myers nods and Creech sort of lazily calls for the bell...and WE'RE UNDERWAY!

At the bell, Myers charges across the ring at Tytan, stunning him with a clothesline. Myers hits the rope and hits a Hogan Leg drop and covers...that doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers goes to attack again, but Tytan simply grabs Myers' arms and crushes him with a head butt. Tytan follows up with some brawling punches, backing Myers into the corner. Tytan assaults Myers with some back elbows and some knees and some shoulder blocks. Myers is weakened, and Tytan puts him on the top turnbuckle. He's going for the Ultimo Ending already, but when he pulls Myers off, Myers reverses to a DDT, much to the delight of the Zaniacs. Creech eventually decides to maybe start the double count. Myers is up first at “1”.

Myers walks over to Tytan and pulls him up, and then plants him with a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Myers covers again, and again, he doesn't even get a 1 count. Myers pulls Tytan up again and nails him with a German Suplex. Myers follows with an elbow drop and covers again. This time he gets an actual 1 count. Myers pulls up Tytan again, but before he can get a hold of him, Tytan hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex on Myers. Myers gets up groggy, and Tytan hooks him in and plants him with a Slingshot Brainbuster. Tytan appears to have come back to us here on Earth apparently, and he starts stomping on Myers like he's Randy Orton. At one point he tries a cover, and it gets a quick two. The stomping resumes, and eventually Tytan grabs Myers' legs...he's going for Corporate Red Tape! And...he gets him turned over!

The Zaniacs are pleading for Myers to come back...and he looks like he's Zaning-Up! He's got the Power of the Shaky Arm, and bah gawd, he gets to the ropes, forcing Tytan to break the hold. The crowd goes apeshit. Tytan turns to press an attack on Myers, but Myers Shoulder blocks him, and then hits Tytan with a straight kick to the face; which wobbles Tytan slightly. Running High Knee Lift by Myers and Tytan is reeling, and leaning against the ropes to hold himself up. Myers poses for the Zaniacs, and he gets Tytan on his shoulders! He's got him in the TORTURE RACK! Myers is sporting the “Lex” look and it looks like Tytan is in big time trouble and is fading. But somehow, Tytan finds the Power of the Shaky Arm deep within him and comes to life, finally diving for the rope as Myers gets near one. Creech is late in breaking the hold (obviously) and Myers is able to pull him away from the ropes! He's got him! This is going to be a HUGE upset! Suddenly, with one last surge on energy, Tytan is able to break his legs free and slips out the back door! LUNGBLOWER from Tytan sends Myers to the mat, and Creech is going to “count” again. At “2” both men are up again, and they start slugging it out with haymakers in the middle of the ring. Finally Tytan appears to get the best of it, and Myers ends up in the corner. Standing Dropkick by Tytan in a great show of agility! This splats Myers against the corner and he's woozy. Tytan sits him on the top turnbuckle and gets on the second turnbuckle himself. He's got Myers hooked! ULTIMO ENDING! This puppy's done.
WINNER in 10:08 by Pin fall...TYTAN!

FIREWOMAN & CHRIS EVANS vs. CONCRETE TG & BLITZ

All four wrestlers are in the ring, and we are underway! Evans and Blitz start, locking up in the center of the ring. Evans immediately gets control with a headlock, taking Blitz over. Blitz escapes, trapping Evans with a head scissors. Evans shifts his position and slowly raises out of the head scissors. He then nails Blitz with a seated dropkick to the face! Blitz rolls back into his own corner, tagging in CTG as Evans brings Firewoman into the ring.

Firewoman locks up with CTG, who goes behind for a hammerlock. Firewoman flips CTG over with a snap mare, but CTG holds on, rolling Fire through and maintaining the hammerlock. Fire goes for the mare again, but CTG simply drops her down on her back as she raises up for the throw. Fire makes the quick tag into Evans, who immediately charges and is taken over with an arm drag! Evans is back and feeds into a second arm drag! And a third!

Fire reenters the ring, and is met with a springboard dropkick from Blitz that sends her to the outside. CTG slams Evans into position, then takes Blitz over with a suplex that he finishes as a 450 splash. 1…2…NO! Fire tried to make the save, but Evans kicked out in time, so Fire takes the opportunity to completely level Blitz with a super kick as he returns to his feet!

With Blitz down, Fire drags Evans to their corner and tags herself in. She immediately takes Blitz over with a hip toss, then locks in an ARMBAR~! Blitz winces in pain, but insists he doesn’t want to give up. Blitz makes it to his feet as CTG gets the crowd support started. As the fans start to get behind Blitz, Fire sweeps out his legs, taking him back to the mat, keeping the arm bar locked in. Blitz makes it to his feet again, so Fire walks them to a neutral corner, running the ropes, and taking Blitz over with a Japanese arm wizzer, landing with the arm bar solidly in place in the center of the ring. Blitz again makes it to his feet, so Fire grabs the free arm and takes him over with a Tiger Suplex, bridging for the pin attempt! 1…2…NO! Blitz rolls out, but fire maintains her hold on the arm as she brings Blitz into her corner, tagging in Evans.

Evans comes off the top with a double axe handle on Blitz, then pushes him into their corner for some double team rights, lefts & kicks. CTG comes in, which distracts the ref long enough for the double teaming to escalate. This infuriates CTG, who again attempts to come into the ring, further distracting the referee, allowing for an illegal switch that brings Fire back into the ring. Fire locks in a chin lock, but spits in CTG’s face across the ring. CTG re-enters the ring, of course garnering the ref’s attention one more time. Fire stands Blitz up, Evans enters and they take Blitz out with TOTAL ELIMINATION! Fire goes for the cover…1…2…NO! as CTG makes the save, dragging Blitz towards their corner. The referee is escorting Evans out of the ring as Fire goes back to work on Blitz’s arm, but Blitz pops up, rolls out and makes the hot tag to ‘Crete! The crowd goes wild with the tag!

Crete enters and is ON FIRE with rights to Fire’s face when the referee steps in to inform CTG that HE DIDN’T SEE THE TAG! CTG argues with the referee as Evans puts Blitz on position for a power bomb. Firewoman comes off the top with a missile dropkick to Blitz who goes down to the power bomb immediately following. Fire hits the ropes as CTG exits, and Evans backdrops Fire over, who lands an assisted flipping leg drop on Blitz. The ref goes down to count as Evans knocks CTG off the apron. 1…2...3!
WINNERS in 14:34 – Firewoman & Chris Evans

KZ vs. IHOP

IHOP makes their way to the ring first. Surprisingly they come out to the ring alone, no Dorothy Mantooth, no Amnesiac, no Fezzik, no Monkh. SYB leads the way to the ring and he and Skurge climb between the ropes and SYB gets a mic, whose idea was THAT?

kz…….I beat your ass this week in the hallway, and I will do it again right here, in THIS VERY RING! You think we are scared of you? <camera pans to Skurge who is looking at SYB like he is insane> WE. OWN. YOU! So I’ll tell you what, I am changing this match, tonight, this match will be a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH! <Skurge’s jaw drops open> Now GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN KICK THEM AGAIN!

SYB drops the mic and Skurge grabs him and looks at him incredulously. KZ is announced and they come out to the top of the ramp, then storm the ring. Moose and LD slide under the bottom rope and Skurge immediately grabs LD and throws him into the corner and blisters him with chops. SYB grabs Moose and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then follows him out of the ring to the floor. SYB turns and looks at Skurge who is still fighting with Williams in the corner, then steps out onto the apron. Moose is back on his feet, and he sweeps SYB’s legs, sending him to the mat, then the floor. Moose pulls SYB to his feet and sends him into the ring post face first. Moose pulls a small chain out of his pocket and wraps it around his fist and HAMMERS SYB in the face until blood runs down SYB’s face onto his chest.

Inside the ring, Skurge whips Williams to the opposite corner and follows, but LD stops and tries a back elbow at the charging Skurge, but Skurge puts on the breaks, ducks under the elbow, grabs Williams and hits a belly to back suplex! Skurge covers, but Williams kicks out before the one count and both men get to their feet. Collar and elbow lock up, this time Williams catches Skurge with a chop and sends him to the ropes. Williams ducks and Skurge leap frogs him and bounds off the opposite ropes, but LD is ready for him and catches him in the jaw with a super kick that snaps his head back! Skurge hits the mat and LD covers, but Skurge kicks out at one.

On the outside, Moose pulls a horribly bloody SYB to his feet and lifts him up and drops him chest first across the guard rail, then tears off his Yankees jersey to reveal the “kz” brand. This seems to piss SYB off considerably and he hits a low blow on Moose that doubles him over. SYB gets to his feet and hits a running knee lift that sends Moose to the floor, then grabs a chair and waits for Moose to get to his feet, then WARPS the chair on his head! Moose falls to his knees. SYB rummages under the ring for something and comes out with a cheese grater! Uh oh, we have seen this before. SYB takes the grater and repeatedly runs it across Moose’s forehead! Moose falls to the floor, and as he starts to get up, we see blood dripping off his forehead. SYB connects with a kick to the ribs that sends Moose to the floor, then SYB climbs to the apron.

Inside the ring, Williams pulls Skurge to his feet and hooks him for a suplex, then hits a snap suplex, taking Skurge to the mat hard, then rolls through and locks him in a dragon sleeper, ramping up the pressure and trying for a submission, but Skurge manages to get his feet beneath him and he gets to his feet and hammerlocks Williams free arm and hits a Devil Windmill Suplex with a bridge for a two count! Williams kicks out and Skurge grabs a side head lock, but Williams shoves him to the ropes and catches him with a knee to the mid-section, then sets up the Canadian Destroyer! But Skurge backdrops LD out of the ring to the floor! LD slams his lower back on the apron, and falls to the floor face first. Skurge grabs the ropes and slingshots himself over the top, and drops a leg on the back of Williams’ head. The move hurts both wrestlers, so they stay down.

On the other side of the ring, SYB has a chair and is waiting on the apron for Moose to get to his feet, when he does, SYB leaps, but Moose catches him with a handful of powder to the face! SYB staggers around half blinded by the powder, the powder and blood mix to make a horrific paste on his face. Moose throws SYB into the ring and as he gets to his feet Moose measures him and drops him with a right. Moose does this several times, causing the crowd to boo loudly. They are actually ROOTING for SYB. Unfucking believable.

On the other side of the ring, Skurge and Williams are both slowly to their feet. Skurge charges at Williams, but LD takes him down with a drop toe-hold that sends Skurge’s head into the corner of the steps! Skurge immediately grabs his head and writhes in pain. Folks, I don’t think that was planned. We finally get a look at Skurge’s head and he is hemorrhaging blood. The referee makes the dreaded “X” and medical officials rush from the back.

Inside the ring, Moose is taunting SYB, ducking SYB’s wild swings and peppering him with shots to the face. Finally Moose gets a little too close, and SYB hits a jawbreaker! Moose hits the mat grabbing his jaw, and finally SYB clears his vision and calls for the HEBREW HAMMER! But LD sees this from the outside and slips into the ring with a chair and SLAMS SYB on the back of the head, spins him around, kicks him low and hits a CANADIAN DESTROYER! SYB is dead! Moose gets to his feet and snarls and locks SYB in the ji-endo, tearing at his face as he applies it. To his credit, SYB never quits, though he does pass out, so the referee calls the match.
WINNERS in 13:39 – kz

After the match, Moose refuses to break the hold and LD adds to SYB’s misery with several stiff kicks to the face. Finally the crowd erupts as a horribly bloody Skurge slides into the ring with a chair and chases kz off. Skurge falls to one knee, barely able to maintain consciousness. He checks on SYB as The Amnesiac, Fezzik, Monkh and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth make it to the ring and help them both to the back.

SPIN HANSEN & THIM REYNOLDS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY & DH MAGNUSSON – Onslaught Rules Match

Spin and Thim make their way to the ring first and step between the ropes. The unlikely pairing of Seamus and Thim is announced next and they head to the ring as well. As they step between the ropes, Thim says something to the referee and he walks to the Seamus and DH corner and starts to check them for foreign objects. The referee pulls brass knuckles, a chain and a blackjack from DH, and a small roll of barbed wire, a slapjack, a fork, and a flask of whiskey from Seamus. The referee tries to take the flask from Seamus, but Seamus threatens him with his life. Seamus stands back in the corner sipping his beverage while DH yells that the referee should check Spin and Thim. Thim checks out completely clean, but when he checks Spin, he finds a roll of quarters, a collapsible riot baton, a small lead pipe, and some flash paper and a lighter. By the time the referee gets all the weapons from the participants, there is a nice pile of plunder in the middle of the ring. A ring attendant comes in and cleans it all into a garbage can, then leaves the can at ringside. I am sure that won’t come into play later. The referee reminds all four men that this match is contested under onslaught rules. He calls for the bell, and we are under way!

Thim and Magnusson start things off, they slowly circle and are about to lock up, when Spin yells something to Thim, distracting him for just a second, allowing DH to catch him with a forearm to the side of the head that drops him to one knee. DH hits the ropes and connects with a kick to the side of Thim’s head that sends him to the mat. DH drops an elbow across his chest and covers, but Thim kicks out before there is even a one count. Magnusson pulls Thim to his feet and scoops him up for a slam, but Thim slips over Magnusson’s shoulders and lands on his feet. He spins DH around and ROCKS him with a European uppercut, then connects with several kicks to the sides of the knees and ribs, then finishes him off with a spinning clothesline that nearly takes DH’s head off his shoulders. Thim drags Magnusson toward his corner and reaches out and makes the tag to Spin. Spin steps between the ropes, but before he can do anything Magnusson breaks free and crawls across the ring and makes the tag to Seamus.

Seamus steps between the ropes and charges at Spin, but Spin catches him with a chop to the chest, then an arm wringer into a hammerlock that takes Seamus to the mat. Seamus works back to his feet and tries to reach behind his head and grabs Spin, but he can’t. Finally Spin breaks the hold and grabs a side head lock, but Seamus immediately sends Spin to the ropes and tries a shoulder block on the return, but Spin takes Seamus to the mat. Spin hits the ropes again and Seamus gets to his feet and fakes a clothesline, Spin ducks, but Seamus catches him with a stiff kick to the thigh, then grabs him and hits a side Russian leg sweep.

Once on the mat, Seamus reaches out and tags in Magnusson, DH comes in and drops a knee across Spin’s chest, then hammers him in the face with rights and lefts drawing a warning from the referee. Magnusson pulls Spin to his feet and shoves him into the corner and puts a boot on his throat, choking him out. This draws another warning from the referee and a sneer from Magnusson. DH pulls Spin out of the corner and grabs a groggy Hansen by the throat and CHOKESLAMS him to the mat! Magnusson covers, but can only get a two count.

DH tags Seamus back into the match and Seamus grabs Spin and holds him for a big boot from DH. DH charges, and predictably, Spin moves out of the way and the boot catches Seamus flush on the jaw! Spin clotheslines DH over the top rope and tags in Thim. Reynolds comes up behind a dazed Seamus and traps him in a rear naked choke hold! Seamus tries to stay on his feet, but Thim pulls him to the mat. On the outside DH tries to get back into the ring, but Spin stops him on the outside, spins him around, and blasts him with a clothesline!

Inside the ring, Seamus struggles, but Thim has the move cinched in tight. After a few more seconds of fighting, Seamus starts to fade and the referee calls for the bell.
WINNERS in 10:19 – Thim Reynolds & Spin Hansen

Thim releases the hold and Seamus rolls out of the ring. On the outside, Magnusson grabs a chain from the can o’plunder and NAILS Spin between the eyes dropping him to the floor. Thim leaves the ring to help his partner, but Seamus blind sides him with a shillelagh shot to the skull. Thim falls to the floor and Seamus wears out the shillelagh on his back and ribs. Magnusson is putting the boots to Spin as well. Finally they stop and start up the ramp, but Seamus hasn’t forgotten the boot to the face. When DH turns around to say something to Seamus, Seamus BLASTS him in the face with the shillelagh and leaves him sitting, stunned, on the ramp as he heads to the back.

MATTE vs. THE AMNESIAC vs. THE DEAD – Non-Title Onslaught Championship Match

Alice in Chains’ “I Can’t Remember” starts up and out walks The Amnesiac and begins to slap hands and work the crowd. The Amnesiac gets about half way down the ramp when Matte walks out dragging his belt behind him, he walks right by The Amnesiac and gets into the ring and pops down in the corner and begins texting on his cell phone. Referee Hightower walks over to Matte and begins to explain to him that he should wait until his ring music starts before he comes down…Matte just shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his cell phone… The Amnesiac gets into the ring and jumps up to the second rope to jester to the fans…”Doomsday Clock” starts up and out comes The Dead…crowd gives a decent size pop and The Dead raises his arms and points to his new shirt…there are even a few signs in the crowd for The Dead…

The Dead makes the ring and Hightower calls for the bell. The Dead locks it up with The Amnesiac while Matte continues to text on his phone…TD Irish whips TA to the ropes and catches him with a shoulder block. TA goes down and TD follows him to the mat and grabs his mask and wrings him into a side headlock. Matte finally finishes up his text conversation and stands up in the corner. He takes off his flannel shirt and places it and his phone in the corner.

TA works his way up to his feet and Irish whips TD to the ropes and catches him in a sidewalk slam. The Amnesiac floats over and covers The Dead but it is a quick kick out at 1 and both men are up and met by Matte with a double clothesline. Matte rebounds off the far ropes and hits The Dead with knee drop to his head. The Dead rolls out of the ring and onto the arena floor. Matte is up and catches TA on his way up with a swinging neck breaker. Matte covers, Hightower counts….1…..2….and The Amnesiac kicks out.

Matte pulls TA up and shoots his to the ropes and heads to the other ropes bounces off but wait…The Dead grabs his foot. Matte goes down…The Amnesiac leaps over Matte and catches The Dead with a baseball slide sending The Dead into the guardrail. TA is out on the floor and hits The Dead with a knife edge chop…the crowd yells “whooooo”, The Dead grabs his chest but TA chops him again…The Dead cringes in pain and grabs TA and whips him toward the ring steps…TA reverses is and TD hits the steps hard, shoulder first…The Dead bounces off the steps and slumps down…

TA slides back into the ring to a waiting Matte who kicks TA as he tries to get to his feet. TA does manage to get to his feet and trades punches and chops with Matte until Matte catches him with a knee to the midsection that doubles TA over…Matte grabs TA by the head and the trunks and drives him into the metal ring post…Matte in control now grabs TA and slings him to the far corner…Matte follows him in with a Stinger splash…TA crumbles to the mat and Matte climbs the turnbuckle to deliver a flying elbow. Matte for the cover…1…2….The Dead races up the other turnbuckle and flies…frog splash…on both Matte and The Amnesiac…ohhhh the impact, all three men are hurt…ref starts the count….1….2…3….4…5….6…The Dead kips up…7…The Amnesiac grabs the ropes and pulls himself up…8….9….Matte staggers up and turns right into a spear by TA…both men tumble through the ropes and onto the floor…both are up and fighting…The Dead bounces off the ropes and flies over the ropes landing on both men…once again the three of them are scattered on the floor… Matte is bleeding…

The Dead is up and holding his rips…He is leaving it up in the ring tonight. TA is up and Hightower is once again counting…1….2….3…4…TD slides into the ring…followed by TA…TD bounces off the ropes, but TA leapfrogs over him, TD hits the other ropes and TA The Dead with his “Pure Amnesia”…TA covers…1…2…and Matte in with a double axe handle to the back of the head to TA for the save.

Matte pulls TA up and delivers his own DDT “The Nevermind”…Matte pulls TA up for a super-plex, he has him up in the lights…bam…The Dead hits Matte with a “Close the Casket” while he has TA in the super-plex…Matte goes down losing control of TA…The Amnesiac tumbles over the ropes and onto the floor…The Dead covers Matte…1…..2……3!
WINNER in 32:00 - The Dead

POE vs. STANK – Non-Title OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

"Skin" comes over the PAs, and the crowd goes wild, as Stank appears at the entrance. He comes down the ramp, focused as always, and rolls into the ring. The lights darken, and "Misera Cantare" starts. Poe rises from below the stage, with Selena wrapped around him. She unwinds, and then follows him as they slowly walk to the ring. Not quite Undertaker-slow, but slow enough. Finally, they arrive at the ring, and Poe removes his duster and bloody towel, handing them to Selena. Stank sneers in disgust at the ephebophile, and Selena barely holds the towel between two fingers. Poe points to a chair in the corner, and asks her to sit there, and not move or get involved. She nods obediently and sits, as Poe walks calmly up the steps and enters the ring. The referee calls for the bell.

The two big men stare each other down. After an uncomfortably long period of time, the two lock up. Not in the way folks normally do, where they just, you know, lock up, but more like two bighorn sheep colliding. The two engage in a test of strength, or really, a test of wills. Each man gives ground, but then gains it right back. Finally, Poe seems to get a bit more leverage, and gets Stank back into the corner. He lands several right punches and a few kicks, until the referee counts, and gets to four. Stank is doubled over a bit, so Poe grabs his head and pulls him toward the center of the ring. Poe starts to get try to lift Stank up for a power slam, but Stank counters with some hammering blows to the back as Poe bends down to lift him. Poe is down on one knee, and Stank hits him with a knee to the face. He grabs Poe's arm and whips him into the ropes. Poe hits the near, then the far ropes, and runs to the center, where Stank is waiting, grabs him, and belly-to-belly suplexes him with a loud echoing thud. Stank goes for a pin, not with any real belief that Poe is out of it, but more to establish that he can. Poe is of course up at one. As Stank, rolls away, Poe gets up and is ready for Stank to turn. When he does, Poe gets some more punches in. He drives Stank back to the left ropes, and then whips him over to the right ropes. He follows him over that direction, and when Stank bounces off, Poe is ready with a big clothesline, that sends him over the ropes and onto the floor, with another echoing thud. Stank follows him out, and grabs the arm. He tries to Irish whip him into the steps, but Poe reverses, and sends Stank in instead. We're going to need to replace those, as there is now a big Stank-shaped dent in them. Good thing this is the last match. Poe "helps" Stank back into the ring. Stank lays there a minute, wondering if all those rumors he's heard about "post concussion syndrome" are actually true, when Poe, who has been standing on the apron, launches himself over the top rope, and hits a big Leg Drop. He pins Stank, one...two...NO! Stank recovers enough to get a shoulder up. Poe is somewhat impressed, but not enough to stop and applaud. He gets Stank in a chin lock, and cranks way down on it. The referee does the obligatory check to make sure it's not a choke, and asks Stank if he would like to quit. He, of course, says no. Stank moves to the right, to the left, loosens Poe's grip, but then Poe tightens it. This happens two or three times, and the finally Stank gets his legs bent in front of him, knees up, and pushes hard back. Poe goes over onto his back with Stank on top, and the referee counts one...two....NO! Poe kicks out, but has to release Stank to do it. Poe tries to catch his breath, and Selena leaps up from her chair and onto the ring apron, hoping to distract Stank to give Poe a breather. Stank glances her direction and smiles. He turns toward Poe, as Selena's distraction doesn't work. Poe shoots Selena a look that makes her jump down from the apron, but it appears that her presence may have been, ironically, just enough to fire Stank up even more. He charges at Poe, driving him back into the ring post hard with a huge Corner Splash. Their combined weight causes the thud to echo through the arena, and the crowd gasps. He grabs Poe and leads him to the center of the ring for the Oklahoma Slam. He goes for the pin, and this has to be it, no one can take all that power. One...two...NO! Poe gets a shoulder up. Stank and the crowd are both stunned. Stank has clearly had enough, and tries to go for the Southern Comfort once again. He grabs Poe from behind and pulls him up, locking in the full nelson. Poe wriggles an arm free and swings an elbow back to Stank's head. Stank dodges it, and re-applies the hold, and this time it sticks. He pulls Poe down, and gets him into position and cranks down on it. Poe struggles and momentarily Stank's hold weakens, but he locks it in again. Poe struggles to get toward the ropes, and Selena reaches up and pushes the rope toward him. He snarls at her "Get back!" and she jumps back. Poe struggles more and gets closer, closer....and GRABS ON! The referee begins the count, and at three, Stank breaks the hold. He walks the ring, as Poe tries to get the blood circulating again, but it's not enough. Stank comes on strong, and gets him up, into the Stank U! He goes for the pin and it's one...two ....THREE!
WINNER in 35:11 - Stank

THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. BRYCE LARSON & NAYR – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

“Bulletproof” Bryce Larson and Nayr the Halfling Luchadore make their way to the ring first, slapping hands and greeting the fans. They vault into the ring and pose on the turnbuckles, drinking in the cheers. The fun and games stop, however, when the Team From Down Under enters the arena. Outback Jack and Gatorbait, accompanied by Wally B. King, pause at the top of the ramp and hold the titles high, then stride confidently to the ring. Referee Angelo Barros gives the combatants their instructions, displays the belts to the crowd, and calls for the bell.

Nayr and Gator start off for their teams. They circle and lock up, and Nayr snaps off an arm drag. Gator rolls to his feet and Nayr catches him with a second arm drag, then nails him with a dropkick as he gets up. Gator falls back against the ropes and Nayr rebounds off the opposite ropes and clotheslines him out to the floor. Nayr lands on the apron and springboards off the middle rope into an asai moonsault that drives Gator into the railing and deposits Nayr in the crowd. Nayr waits for Gator to get up and vaults the railing into a DDT, but Gator snatches him in mid-air and spears him into the apron. He slides into the ring to break the count, then scoops Nayr up and slams him on the floor. Gator climbs onto the apron, gets a running start, and drives an elbow into his sternum. He stuffs Nayr back into the ring and follows him in.

Gator runs Nayr face-first into the TFDU corner and makes the tag. Jack comes in and they stomp Nayr down to the mat before Gator exits. Jack drags Nayr to his feet, sends him across the ring, and plants him with a power slam. He hooks the leg, and gets a long two count. Jack sends Nayr across the ring again, but Nayr slides between his legs. Jack turns around and gets nailed by a dropkick. Nayr dives towards the Heroes' corner but Jack grabs his ankle and drags him back. Nayr spins and hits him with an enzugiri, then dives again and this time makes the tag to Bryce.

Larson sprints across the ring as Jack gets to his knees, and drills him with a knee to the temple. He rebounds off the ropes and dropkicks him in the back, then drops a leg across the back of his neck. He rolls Jack over and covers, but only gets one. Bryce sends Jack into the Heroes' corner, follows him in with a splash, and makes the tag to Nayr. They work Jack over in the corner with punches and kicks, then lift him onto the top turnbuckle. They climb up and set up a tandem superplex, but Gator sprints across the ring and makes it a Tower of Doom. Jack hits the mat hard and rolls to the outside, and Gator rolls to his feet and pounces on Nayr. He gets some shots in until Bryce hooks him from behind and tries to lock in a Dragon Sleeper. Gator fights free, but turns around into a springboard clothesline from Nayr. Gator staggers, but doesn't go down, so Bryce lines up a super kick. It rocks Gator, and before he falls Nayr hits a second one, then both men combine for a third, completing the Shinobi's Rage! Gator falls, and the Nerds rejoice – until Barros points out that Jack is the legal man.

Bryce and Nayr turn to Jack, who is just sitting up outside the ring, and plan strategy for a moment. While they're doing that, they completely miss kz sprinting down the aisle and sliding into the ring. They finally pick up on the crowd's warnings and turn around, and are leveled by twin chair shots. Moose pulls Larson to his feet and nails him with a Heartpunch while Williams grabs Nayr and kills him with a Canadian Destroyer. Angelo Barros immediately calls for the bell.
WINNERS, by disqualification, in 9:42, Bryce Larson and Nayr.

After the match: Williams sprints across the ring, dives through the ropes, and levels Outback Jack. As soon as they hit the floor Williams starts throwing punches, and OBJ responds in kind. Meanwhile, Moose stomps on Bryce and Nayr, keeping them on the mat, until Gator catches him from behind with a low blow. Gator sends Moose to the ropes as Bryce gets to his feet. They hit Moose with stereo kicks to the stomach, then plant him with a tandem DDT. Both men get up and Gator kicks Bryce and lifts him for the Chomp, but Nayr takes him down with a chop block. Nayr rolls to his feet and Moose brains him with a chair. Moose waits for Gator to get up, but before he can swing OBJ grabs the chair. Moose turns around and takes a shot to the head, and the Aussies go to opposite ropes and turn him inside out with the Call of the Wild. Moose no sooner hits the mat than the TFDU are knocked through the ropes to the floor by stereo super kicks from the Heroes. Bryce and Nayr go to the ropes and Nayr rebounds, but Bryce is dragged out of the ring by Williams. Nayr sprints across the ring and dives at the TFDU, but they catch him and slam him through the Bohemian announce table. Jack and Gator circle the ring and advance on Williams, who downs Bryce with the ring bell and turns to face them. Moosehead Jack crawls out of the ring behind them. Williams goes high with a double clothesline as Moose goes low, tackling them from behind, and all four men start throwing punches. Bryce crawls around the ring and helps his partner out of the rubble. They slide into the ring and, after a moment to clear their heads, they sprint across the ring and springboard off the top rope, diving into the pile of bodies below. By this point, security and referees flood ringside and manage to separate the teams and drag them to the back.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the April PPV! Live, April 26th, from Hollywood, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 8th from Hollywood, California

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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, California

THE DEAD vs. DAMON WRATH

Sterling Glaw is YOUR referee!.

Damon Wrath sets to lockup, but The Dead doesn't even look impressed. He seems insulted by facing the least member of the Heroes' Guild and just stares him down. The larger Wrath hesitates, then steps directly up to Dead and the two exchange words. The Dead remains unimpressed and SLAPS THE TASTE OUT OF DAMON WRATH! Wrath's eyes widen, then he turns away, drops to his knees, and......

cries like a baby? The Dead laughs heartily and watches the spectacle for a moment before gathering a mic. He kneels in front of Wrath, cocking his head comically.

Dead: "Surely you see that you're outmatched? Those tears aren't exactly.... what do you people call it..... 'heroic'?"

Damon Wrath looks up after a moment. then in one motion snaps to his feet and gives The Dead a RANDY ORTON punt! Dead sprawls and drops the mic. Wrath picks it up.

Wrath: "April fool's, Bitch...... and DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY!"

Glaw slaps his forehead in disbelief, missing Wrath pouncing on Dead and laying into him with several punches. Glaw gets over there late and counts off, Wrath backing away at four. The Dead is just starting to get to his feet (because he KNOWS a Randy Orton punt really does no damage) as Wrath closes in again. The Dead gets his feet under him and tackles Wrath back and the two tumble toward the ropes. Glaw calls for a break and gets it, Dead backing slowly away and Wrath pulling himself up with the ropes. NOW these two finally lock up, and Glaw finally seems to relax.

Wrath pushes Dead back to the corner, and Glaw calls for a break. Wrath backs up a couple of steps before The Dead LUNGES out of the corner with an attempt at CLOSE THE CASKET! Wrath stays clear of the kick and backs up further, forcing Dead to charge. Wrath catches him and launches him skyward, but on the way down Dead catches Wrath with a HUGE DDT! Wrath is stunned for a few seconds - enough time for The Dead to casually wrap Wrath up in his DEATHLOCK! Wrath screams, flails..... and finally taps, head down.
WINNER in 6:34 The Dead

TYTAN vs. ZANE MYERS

Myers is announced first and he gets a huge ovation from the crowd. Myers pauses to soak it up, then heads down the ramp, slapping hands with the Zaniacs along the way. Myers steps between the ropes and walks up to the referee and shakes his hand, and waits in the corner for Tytan. Tytan charges to the ring and steps between the ropes and doesn’t even wait for a bell, he just charges into the corner and attacks Myers, beating him to the mat with rights and lefts. The referee calls for the bell to start the match and Myers works to his feet, and he and Tytan go toe to toe trading thunderous shots to the head. Myers, with the fans clearly behind him, gets the better of the exchange and backs Tytan to the ropes and tries a whip, but Tytan reverses it and catches Myers with a big boot that sends him slumping against the middle rope. Tytan charges at Myers and Myers steps off the ropes and drop toe holds Tytan, sending him onto the middle rope. Myers gets a running start and jumps onto Tytan’s back, choking him on the ropes. Myers pulls Tytan into the ring and covers him, but Tytan kicks out with authority at one. Tytan gets to his feet and snarls, and catches Myers with a straight right to the jaw that drops Myers to one knee. Tytan charges and KILLS Myers with a clothesline, sending him out of the ring to the floor. Tytan immediately pulls Myers up and slams him face first into the ring steps, then catches him with a boot to the face that sends him into the guard rail. Tytan traps Myers against the rail and HAMMERS him with rights and lefts. The referee nearly counts them both out, but Tytan shoots Myers into the ring. Myers wipes the blood from his face, from a gash left by one of Tytan’s punches, and backs into the corner and gets to his feet. Tytan charges in for a clothesline, but Myers gets a big boot up, catching Tytan on the jaw and spinning him around. Myers climbs to the second rope and leaps, and drives Tytan to the mat with a bulldog. Myers hooks him, rolls him over, and covers, but only gets a two count. Myers tries to pull Tytan to his feet, but Tytan nails him with a low blow, somehow the referee doesn’t see that. Tytan grabs Myers and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Tytan follows him and slams him face first into the ring post. Myers hits the floor, more blood pouring down his face. Tytan sees the blood and stares for a minute, then something seems to snap. He grabs a chair and SLAMS it down on Myers head. The referee calls for the bell immediately, but that doesn’t stop Tytan, he keeps hitting Myers with the chair until officials run out and try to restrain him. Tytan easily fights off the officials, and hits them with the chair. Finally Dr. Podvod comes up behind Tytan and injects something in his neck. Tytan raises the chair to hit Myers again, but wobbles a bit, then drops the chair and lurches forward and falls to one knee. Dr. Podvod helps Tytan up and they head to the back, while officials look at Myers, who is slowly back on his feet, much to the delight of the Zaniacs.
WINNER in 6:11 by disqualification – Zane Myers

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SPIN HANSEN

The arena goes dark and the first strains of “Immigrant Sons” hit the speakers and the crowd doesn’t know how to respond…half of the crowd cheers the other half look at the entrance ramp with confused looks on their faces.

Out steps DH Magnusson with a smirk on his face and sign that says “Spin is dead”…about half way down the ramp he rips the sign in half and throws it into the crowd. The crowd hates him. He stands and argues with a fan and then as he turns around to continue to walk to the ring….BAM.

Spin hits him with a chair. It looks like Spin snuck in through the crowd and jumped the guardrail. DH struggles to his hand and knees only to be greeted with another chair shot across the back. Spin throws the chair at D.H. and calls for a mic…
He stands over DH and bends down and screams into the mic. “This is NOT over!” In his anger Spin underestimated DH, because DH grabs the chair that Spin threw at him and plants him with a shot right on the head.

Spin goes down and DH struggles to his feet. Both these men look rode hard and put up wet. DH has a road map of bruises on his face from the pay per view and Spin is wrapped up in medical gauze and tape…DH picks Hanson up by the hair and guides him toward the guardrail. Spin meets the guardrail chest first and doubles over and grabs his sides...DH still on the attack grabs Spin and deposits him over the guardrail and into the crowd.
Spin lands head over heels into the first row and the crowd scatters out of the way. DH follows Hanson over the guardrail but Hanson is waiting for him with a fresh beer to the face. I guess the fan won’t be enjoying that one…Spin follows it up with a spinning neck breaker onto a chair and in the ring the referee has called for the bell…this match won’t even get started…OOWF security separate both men, and DH spits at Hanson as they are led away.

THIM REYNOLDS vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – Steel Cage Match

This is guaranteed to be a brutal match, with two combatants from two countries with an amazing degree of historical hostilities between them. Not like in that other promotion, where they pair up people from within the different areas of the same country, and call them enemies. No siree, we put real enemies in the ring, here at OOWF.

"Lay Your Hands On Me" fires up, and Thim "The Physio" Reynolds appears to the cheers of the fans. He comes down the ramp, nodding appreciatively to a few small Union Jacks he sees waving. He gets in the ring, and tests the ropes, shaking his arms out, stretching his neck, basically getting ready. The lights dim and "Rebels of the Sacred Heart" begins. The crowd pops, and then remembers that McNasty is a heel, so the cheers turn to boos as he makes his entrance. There's a group of fans near the ramp waving an Irish flag, and he goes over and fist bumps then, then turns to the folks with the Union Jack nearby, grabs their flag-on-a-stick, and tears the flag itself off the stick with his teeth! The boos get louder, but Seamus doesn't care and he spits the flag back at them. This is too much for Reynolds to bear so he slides under the ropes and runs up the ramp to meet Seamus. The two begin exchanging haymakers back and forth, back and forth, working their way down the ramp toward the ring. Once at the ring Reynolds "helps" Seamus in under the ropes, and follows him in. The two continue the punches while the referee makes a signal. The steel cage begins to lower, and as soon as it is in place, the referee calls for the bell, and now we are officially under way.

Thim and Seamus continue to trade the punches, until even they are bored with it. Seamus grabs Thim and Irish whips him into the corner (and don't think either of them don't appreciate the irony there) and follows him in with a big elbow. Thim goes down in a heap, and Seamus pulls him out by his ponytail. The ref admonishes Seamus, who lets go, but not after threatening to backfist the ref into oblivion first. Seamus picks Reynolds up and power slams him back down. He puts a couple of boots to him, which drive Thim back toward the ropes. Thim grabs the ropes and the referee begins the count to back Seamus up. Seamus does so, as Thim pulls himself up using the rope and the cage. Thim is up and heads toward Seamus, who Irish whips him again, into a drop toe-hold, and then into a cross face! It's the Irish Car Bomb. The ref checks on Thim to see if he'll tap, but Britain has never acknowledged defeat before, and it ain't about to start now. With a mighty effort, Thim manages to roll enough to weaken Seamus's hold, and break free. Seamus can't believe it, and both men get to their feet, Thim a bit more slowly. Thim turns away to clear the cobwebs, and then turns back just in time to see Seamus running toward him. But he's not that out of it, and bends down to back body drop Seamus. The Irish man goes down with a resounding thud that shakes the cage. This time, it's Thim's turn to "lay his boots on him," and he does so. He reaches down and grabs for Seamus's leg to get it into the Reflex-o-Lock, but just as Thim did before, Seamus is able to move around enough that he can't get the hold. Reynolds drops the foot, and steps back, then lands a Chirobow in frustration, straight to McNasty's back. He pulls McNasty up and chop-wooo-chop-woo-chop-woo into the ropes and into the cage. He grabs an arm and twists it behind McNasty's back into an arm lock, and runs him straight across the ring into the cage, face first. He pushes hard on the back of McNasty's head, leaving the imprint of the cage in the Irishman's cheek. McNasty struggle with the arm lock at first, and then remembers he has another arm, and tosses his elbow back toward Reynold's head. Once, twice, and it connects. Reynolds falls back, holding his jaw. Seamus rushes him but Reynolds grabs him into the Neck Cracker. He's really torquing Seamus's neck, and Seamus grabs the arm to try and pry it free, but no dice. The referee checks on Seamus, but it looks like he's fading. The referee raises his arm once. It falls. Twice! This could be it! There's no life left in McNasty. The ref raises his arm a third time and it falls...NO! Just as it is almost too late, McNasty appears to have rallied! The spirit of Bobby Sands moves through him, as he works against Reynolds and then finally creates enough space to toss his head back and head butt Reynolds in the face. Reynolds staggers back, as a little bit of blood begins to flow from his nose. McNasty whirls around, kicks Reynolds in the stomach, and gets him into position for the Black and Tan (how appropriate!). He lets it go, and Reynolds is down. Seamus makes the pin and one-two-NO! Reynolds gets a shoulder up. Seamus grabs him again and sets him up for the Celtic Cross (crucifix power bomb) except he's got him backward. And he's close to the rope....Seamus lets him fly....and Reynolds lands face first against the cage. Seamus takes the back of his head and cheese-graters it across the wires, spreading the blood from Reynolds' nose around. He pulls Reynolds back and goes for another pin, one-two-NO! Again, Reynolds kicks out. Seamus is enraged and confronts the referee, asking him if he knows how to count. While his back is turned, Reynolds is recovering. He grabs Seamus by the neck for the Nerve Pinch, and Seamus's arm goes limp. Reynolds puts the pressure on and drives Seamus down to his knees. He grabs Seamus by the head, puts on the Neck Cracker again, but this time works it round into the Neck Cutter. Seamus is down, Reynolds goes for the pin, one-two-NO! Seamus just barely gets up in time. Reynolds stands, and then paces around the ring, wondering what it will take. He goes toward Seamus again, but Seamus sees him coming, and gets him down with a drop toe hold. It's aimed just right too, or just wrong, depending on your perspective, because it also knocks down the referee. Reynolds gets up and goes to check on the referee. He turns around and Seamus hits him right between the eyes, with the Brass Knuckles! Reynolds goes down! Seamus puts the boots to him a couple more times, then rouses the referee. Seamus goes over for the pin. The referee is suspicious that some sort of shenanigans have happened, but absent any proof, he makes the count. One...two...THREE!
WINNER in 12:49 – Seamus McNasty


<“We have some backstage footage that happened during the last match we wanted to show you now. Roll the tape…”>

We see DH sitting on a chair backstage getting his head stitched up from the chair shot earlier, out of nowhere we see Spin Hanson fly into the scene knocking DH and the doctor over and proceeding to land haymakers on DH.

DH begins choking Hanson and both men roll around on the floor. They struggle to their feet and DH whips Hanson into a locker. Hanson’s head bounces off the locker and leaves a blood steak down the door. DH grabs Hanson and both men trade punches as the stagger through the locker room door and down the hall. Hanson grabs a lighting rig and swings wildly at DH catching him on the shoulder and knocking him to his knees. Down the hall they go finally spilling into the catering area.

DH grabs Spin and throws him at the drink area, coffee, tea, and soda spill onto the floor covering Spin, his arm turns a bright red from a coffee burn and he charges DH, spearing him through the food table. DH and Spin are covered with food and both try desperately to regain their feet. Spin grabs DH and pushes his face ever closer to a lit Sterno. Ouch, DH gets a nice silver dollar size burn mark on his cheek. Spin is trying to force him down for another burn when DH blocks him and finding a chicken drumstick hits him in the eye. Oh my God a Drumstick to the eye…Spin recoils in pain, grabbing at his eye…OOWF security finally separate the two men again and we see Spin taken to a waiting ambulance. Spin is ushered into the back seat holding his eye and screaming at DH….”This is NOT over”


IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD vs. ALEXANDER DARLING, FIREWOMAN & CHRIS EVANS – Non-Title Campeonas de Trios Match

The Heroes Guild are announced first, and Bryce Larson, Nayr and Blitz sprint to the ring and slide under the bottom rope and then leap to the turnbuckles and play to the crowd. The fans cheer them loudly, but those cheers quickly turn to boos when Alexander Darling, Firewoman and Chris Evans are announced. They ignore the boos of the crowd and head to the ring, and go right to their corner to discuss some strategy. Finally, the OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions IHOP are announced, and they come to the top of the ramp with their entourage, Fezzik, Monkh and the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth. The crowd breaks into a MOOOOOOOOOOO chant directed at SYB, but he shrugs it off like he has no idea what they are talking about, while the rest of IHOP do their best not to laugh at him. They head to the ring and find their corner, and finally we are underway.

The champions defer, meaning a member of the Run DEA team and a member of the Heroes will have to start. Darling sends Evans into the ring, and “Bulletproof” Bryce Larson grins and steps between the ropes. The two slowly circle and lock up. Neither man can gain an advantage at first, finally Evans snaps Larson over with an arm drag, but Larson springs right back to his feet and catches a charging Evans with a hurracarana. Both men pop back to their feet and Larson grabs a side head lock, but Evans shoves him toward the ropes, where Darling catches him with an elbow to the back of the head. Larson stops and spins around and is about to hammer Darling when Evans catches him from behind with a lung blower. Evans gets to his feet and waits for Larson to get up, but Darling reaches out and tags himself in. Evans looks a little confused, but steps out of the ring without incident. As Larson gets to his feet, Darling charges in and clips his knee, sending him to the mat. Darling immediately grabs Larson’s legs and turns him over into the Money Clip, but Larson doesn’t stay there long. Nayr comes in and forces the break with a kick to Darling’s face.

Larson gets to his feet and reaches out and tags in Skurge. Skurge charges onto the ring and catches Darling with a running shining wizard upside the head that sends Darling staggering into the Heroes corner. Larson, Nayr and Blitz all make sure they get their shots in, Darling turns around and tries to fight them off, but as soon as he hits Blitz, the referee calls that a tag making Blitz the legal man in the ring. Blitz springboards to the top rope and nails Skurge with a missile drop kick and tries a pin, but Skurge kicks out at one.

Skurge gets to his feet and catches a charging Blitz with a hard chop that sends him to the mat. Skurge pulls blitz to his feet and hooks him, then takes him to the mat with a snap suplex. Skurge gets to his feet and hits the ropes and drops a knee across Blitz forehead, then covers, but only gets a one count. Skurge pulls Blitz to a sitting position, then reaches out and tags in The Amnesiac. TA comes into the ring and he and Blitz take turn kicking Blitz, Skurge from the back, TA from the front, until Blitz collapses to the mat dazed. The Amnesiac falls on him for the cover, but Nayr charges into the ring and breaks up the pin at two with a drop kick to TA’s face.

TA gets to his feet and grabs Nayr from behind and throws him over the top rope to the floor. TA turns around just as Blitz is getting to his feet and levels him with a clothesline. TA reaches out and Firewoman tags in, the two of them wait for Blitz to get to his feet again, then hit a double drop kick that sends Blitz to the IHOP corner. SYB reaches down and demands the tag, Blitz shrugs and tags him in. The crowd immediately begins MOOOOOO sounds again. SYB steps between the ropes and Firewoman smirks, until SYB says something and flips her off, then Fire charges across the ring and connects with a forearm to the side of his head. Fire sends SYB to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a hot shot on the top rope. She grabs SYB’s head while he is on the mat and hammers him with rights to the face.

SYB shoves her off and gets to his feet and ducks a round house kick, and catches Fire with a KICKWHAMSTUNNER! SYB covers, but Fire kicks out at two. SYB reaches back and tags in Skurge, he comes in and grabs Fire’s legs, and catapults her up, RIGHT INTO A HEBREW HAMMER! Skurge covers Fire, and gets a two count before Evans comes in and breaks it up. Skurge pulls Fire to her feet and hits a Northern Lights suplex, then heads to the top rope. Before he can do anything though, Fire gets to her feet and runs to the corner and catches Skurge and hits a release belly to belly suplex! Fire hits hard, and after her match at MADNESS she has to be hurting. She slowly gets to her feet and waits for Skurge to get up, but Nayr reaches out and tags himself in. Fire looks annoyed and barks something at Nayr, Nayr shrugs it off, so Fire grabs him and spins him around and throws a right at his head, but Nayr ducks and hits a spinning heel kick that sends Fire over the top rope to the floor.

With Nayr distracted, Skurge grabs him from behind and hits a trio of German suplexes, bridging the last one and trying for the pin, but Nayr rolls his shoulder just before the three count. Skurge tags SYB back in, and he grabs Nayr in a side head lock and tries an ACID DROP, but Nayr throws him off to the mat. Nayr waits by the ropes for SYB to get to his feet, but a clearly pissed off Firewoman runs down the apron and clotheslines Nayr, sending him into the DEA corner, where Evans makes the tag just before Darling can. Evans comes into the ring and kicks SYB low and connects with a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! He covers, but The Amnesiac comes in and breaks it up. This leads to all the teams coming into the ring in a huge schmozz brawl. As the bodies slowly tumble out of the ring, we are left with just SYB and Evans in the ring. Evans waits for SYB then hits the ICARUS WINGS and goes for the cover, but Alexander Darling hops on the apron and screams at Evans to tag him in. Evans reluctantly gets to his feet and tags in Darling. Alexander pulls SYB to his feet and hits the CRUCIFIX BOMB, covers, and gets the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 19:11 – Firewoman, Chris Evans and Alexander Darling

<“Ladies and gentleman we have breaking news we need to take you to right now…”>

Camera opens and we see a white SUV slamming into an ambulance running it off the street and into a road sign.

The door from the damaged SUV opens and out steps DH Magnusson, he is limping and covered in food and blood, he carries a sledge hammer in his hand. DH walks to the back of the ambulance and begins pounding on the back doors, busting the glass and beating the doors in. “ Hanson come out and play….oh Hanson come out and play…”

Just then the doors burst open and the gurney comes rolling out like a comet…hitting DH in the chest and rolling over him, Hanson follows and hits DH with a Lou Thesz press. “Ahhhhhhh” Hanson is clubbing DH with lefts and rights…until he is hauled off by two local policemen and put in handcuffs and thrown against the ground. At the same time DH is turned over and placed into handcuffs…bleeding and hair down in his face DH grins, spits a mouthful of blood and yells at Spin…”This ain’t over”…

MATTE vs. CONCRETE TG – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

"I Hate Myself and Want To Die" by Nirvana blares through the arena, as Matte makes his way to the ring, with the Onslaught Championship draped over his shoulder (plates facing to the back). Matte immediately sits down in the corner, awaiting his opponent. Joe Satriani's "With Jupiter in Mind" leads Concrete Takaken Gryfon to the ring. CTG immediately hops over the top rope, landing to set off more pyro. Matte remains in the corner, unimpressed with all the pyro.

Hightower checks both competitors, and our Onslaught Championship match has gotten started! At least, for CTG, as Matte simply stays put in the corner. Hightower repeatedly calls for Matte to come out, but Matte doesn't. CTG decides to take matters into his own hands, extending out a handshake of respect to Matte. Matte, however, refuses.

Two minutes into the match, and nary a maneuver even tried by both men. CTG tries once more to shake hands with Matte, so CTG tries a different approach. CTG bounces off of the ropes and dropkicks the seated Matte right in the face! This sends Matte to the floor. Matte pops up, looking at CTG with a look of disdain. Matte grabs a chair and tosses it into the ring, which CTG promptly kicks out the other end. Matte then pulls a table out from under the ring! The crowd pops for the table, and Matte starts to set it up. CTG complains to Hightower, who tries to talk to Matte, but he simply ignores it and continues to set-up the table. CTG decides to take matters into his own hands and flies through the middle ropes, connecting with a Heat Seeking Missile! The table falls and they both crash into the guardrail!

Hightower hits the floor to check on both of them as they get to their feet. It appears that both have been cut (hard way), and Matte is especially bloody already. Seems like he's a bleeder! CTG rolls Matte back in the ring, but Matte kicks him away and rolls back out, preferring to fight right there on the floor. Matte slugs CTG in the face, and CTG responds with a forearm to the jaw. Matte takes it, laughs and punches CTG in the face again! CTG responds with another forearm that staggers Matte, but he punches CTG in the face a third time! Matte then screams to CTG "Punch me! Punch me!" CTG responds by leveling Matte with a forearm to the face that sends Matte down to a knee. Matte uses the ring apron and pulls himself up, maniacally looking at CTG. "I said punch me! C'mon, punch me 'Crete!" CTG rears back and nearly knocks Matte clean out with a forearm to the side of the head, and Matte slowly falls to the floor.

Hightower gets CTG back into the ring, and checks on Matte. Hightower then gets in the ring himself and starts the count out on Matte. Matte finally gets to a knee, then to his feet and barely makes it back in before being counted out. CTG immediately covers for two. CTG stays on top, pushing Matte's shoulders down for a second near fall, then a third. CTG finally picks Matte up, who seems out on his feet. CTG backs up to one corner, charging and connecting with a Spear that takes Matte out of his boots! Cover by CTG, and it only gets two! Matte starts to get up, and CTG connects with a Dragon Suplex! Cover...1...2...No! Matte kicks out yet again! CTG shows some signs of fruatration, but regains his composure and picks up Matte for a standing suplex. Crete holds on, popping them back for another suplex. Crete holds on yet again, hitting a third suplex for the Three Amigos! The crowd appropriately chants "Ed-dee! Ed-dee! Ed-dee!" in response. Crete, taking their inspiration, climbs up top, flying off and landing a frog splash on Matte! Crete hurts himself (think RVD), and both men are down for nearly a minute. Crete finally crawls over and covers Matte, but only gets two.

They get to their feet, and Matte gets the first shot in, punching Crete right in the face! Crete shakes his head, rears back for another forearm, but Matte ducks! This sends Crete through the ropes, but he catches himself and is standing on the apron. Matte comes over, but Crete catches him in position for a suplex! Crete looks behind and realizes the table Matte set-up earlier is right behind them, and signals for a suplex through the table! The crowd pops for CTG! Matte blocks the first attempt, and then blocks the second. CTG finally gets Matte up, but Matte shifts his weight in mid-air, and both go crashing through the table as Matte connects with a Tornado Whatever DDT on CTG through the table on the floor! Hightower heads outside to check on both men as the bell rings! Time has expired in the match!
WINNER in 15:00 - TIME LIMIT DRAW

<“Folks we want to apologize to the wrestlers and fans of the OOWF, tonight’s show has been constantly disrupted by the antics of DH Magnusson and Spin Hanson but I’m being told we have a live feed at the police station and we need to join the action there already in progress…”>

Camera opens and we see DH Magnusson and Spin Hanson at the processing center at the local police station. Spin in sitting in a chair at the end of a counter, with his hands between his knees handcuffed. He is bleeding and bruised, his eye is swelled shut…standing at the other end of the counter is DH, also blooded and bruised and his shirt in tatters. Beside him a cop is pressing his fingers onto the ink pad and then onto the fingerprint card.

All of a sudden DH head butts the cop in the face and charges Hanson. DH spears Hanson, Hanson still in handcuffs hits DH with a double axe handle on the back. The two roll around on the floor with DH choking Hanson and Hanson using his elbows to try to get DH off of him. Finally DH stands up and grabs the APB printer off the counter to use on Spin but another policeman rushes in to separate the two men and is met with the printer right in the face…

The officer stumbles into the camera man and the camera falls to the floor, from a weird camera angle…the picture is now full of static and we see three swat officers in full riot gear enter the room and we hear one of the officers yell “fire” and we see both Spin and DH hit with Tazers…both men begin screaming and the camera goes dark…

“We want to apologize to our viewers for that graphic scene…We have lost our feed but one thing I can guarantee, this isn’t over between these two”

POE vs. STANK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

Stank makes his way to the ring first, determination etched on his face. He stares stoically up the aisle as Poe, accompanied by Selena, makes his entrance. Poe pauses for a moment at the top of the ramp and holds the World Championship high before handing it to Selena and striding down the aisle. They climb in the ring and Poe stands toe to toe with Stank as Selena hands the belt to referee Davis Hightower. Hightower gives the combatants their instructions, displays the belt to the crowd, and calls for the bell.

Stank shoots the leg and takes Poe to the mat. He tries to twist him into an ankle lock, but Poe delivers a solid kick to the head with his free leg. Stank goes down, but hangs on to Poe's foot and manages to lock in a knee bar. Stank struggles and manages to grab the ropes, but before Hightower can call for the break, Poe uses the ropes to roll himself over and kicks his way free. Stank rolls to his feet and chop blocks Poe as he pulls himself to his feet. Stank drags Poe to the middle of the ring and drives an elbow into the inside of his knee, followed by a second and a third. He tries to lock in a figure four, but Poe rolls him up and gets a two count.

Stank gets immediately to his feet and moves in, but Poe levers himself up with the ropes and catches him with a kick to the stomach and follows up with a DDT. He plants a foot in Stank's back and pulls back his arms, trying for a submission. Hightower asks Stank if he wants to quit, and if he can actually do what Stank says in response, he belongs in a circus in Amsterdam. Poe realizes that a submission just isn't going to happen and hits a curb stomp, and when Stank rolls over, blood is pouring from his nose. Poe pounces, and starts driving forearms into Stank's face. He pulls Stank to his feet and sends him to ropes. Stank ducks a clothesline attempt and comes back with a shoulder block that knocks Poe off balance. He drags Poe onto his shoulders for the Stank-U, but Poe shifts his weight and turns it into a crucifix pin for a one count.

Both men are up and start throwing punches. Stank gains the advantage and backs Poe into the corner. An Irish whip is reversed and Stank hits the corner hard. Poe follows him in, but Stank dodges out of the way, turns, and clips Poe's knee, sending him back to the mat. Stank pins Poe's ankle down and stomps on it, then locks on a spinning toehold. Poe manages to free himself, but is definitely the worse for wear and drags himself under the ropes to the floor. Stank starts to follow, and Hightower moves to block, but Stank shoots him a look, and Hightower is quick to change his mind. Stank drops to the floor and sprints around the ring, steamrolling into Poe and driving him face-first into the ring post. Poe staggers back and Stank drops him with an inverted DDT. He hauls the bloodied champion to his feet and braces him against the ring apron before driving his shoulder repeatedly into Poe's midsection. Stank shoves the champion under the ropes and slides into the ring behind him. He tries for a suplex but Poe blocks. Poe attempts to reverse, but the damaged leg buckles and Stank lands on top of him, hooking the leg and getting a two count.

Stank rolls to his feet and kicks Poe in the head to keep him down. He stretches out Poe's leg and delivers a series of shots, then goes to the ropes and hits the Stankonia 2.0 on the leg. He goes to the well for a second one, but Poe gets his good leg in the way and raises Stank's voice by an octave. Stank topples to the mat, and Poe pulls himself to his feet. Poe backs the big man into a corner and blisters him with chops then starts an Irish whip. He puts on the brakes and sends Stank hard into the corner chest first, then clamps on a dragon sleeper.. Stank reaches for the ropes, but it's just a little too far. Hightower lifts the arm once, twice, thr – Stank raises his arm! A series of well placed elbows break the hold, but Poe spins him into a belly to belly suplex. The impact jars Poe as well, and he's slow to make a cover. Hightower counts, but Stank kicks out at two.

Poe shoves Stank back into a corner and starts up again with chops. Stank fights back, exchanging chop for chop, then manages to grab Poe and reverse their positions. He backs up a few steps and avalanches Poe in the corner, then sits him on the top rope. Stank climbs up and tries to set up a superplex, but Poe fights back. Stank teeters, but Poe stops him from falling, then wraps a hand around his neck and drives him to the mat with a choke slam. He drags himself over and covers, and Hightower counts one...two...thr-Stank kicks out!

Poe snarls and drags Stank into a sitting position. He delivers a brutal kick to the back, followed by an echoing kick to the sternum. Stank falls back to the mat and rolls over, and Poe drives a leg drop into the back of his neck. He drags Stank to his feet and lifts him into position for the Pendulum, but staggers as his leg starts to give out. The delay allows Stank to shift his weight and reverse the move into a DDT. He pulls Poe to his feet and backs him to the ropes with a series of forearms. He sends Poe hobbling across the ring and plants him with a spine buster. Stank bounces to his feet, rebounds off the ropes, and hits a thunderous splash. He hooks the leg and Hightower counts one...two...thr-Poe rolls a shoulder!

Stank connects with a haymaker as Poe gets to his feet, and Poe responds in kind. Each man is increasingly staggered by each punch, until Stank ducks a shot and hits an atomic drop. He rebounds off the ropes and levels him with a clothesline. He takes Poe over with a suplex, then sends him to the ropes and hoists him for the Stank-U. Poe reaches out and manages to grab the top rope to block. Stank yanks him away and hits the move, but he's off balance and doesn't get all of it. He hooks the leg, but again Poe rolls a shoulder just before three.

Stank is up first and kicks Poe in the stomach. He tries for a power bomb, but Poe drops to one knee to block. Stank lets go and drives a double axe handle into Poe's back, driving him to the mat. He scrapes Poe up and tries an Irish whip, but Poe reverses, snapping him over with a power slam on the return trip. Poe Drags Stank to his feet and hoists him up – Pendulum! Poe rolls Stank over and hooks both legs. Hightower counts one...two...three!
WINNER, and still OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, in 22:45, Poe!

CHRIS COLE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – Retirement Cage Match

One of these two in this next match must leave OOWF forever, after Davin goaded Cole into action at the Grand Slam Ceremony at “Madness”. However, this was the Intercontinental Champion's idea, so one of these two OOWF legends will be going home, much to the crowd's consternation. In fact, they're not really sure who to cheer for, but when “Master of Puppets” fires up over the sound system, and “The Main Event” Chris Cole makes his way down the ramp, the crowd erupts in applause. He climbs in the ring and poses a little bit with the Intercontinental Title. “Notorious” fires up now, and there are noticeably less boos than normal. Davin Moreland, waits for the ostentatious pyro to complete before coming down the ramp alone again; anticipating a dangerous situation for Samantha it would seem. He climbs into the ring and starts yapping at Cole right away, in fact, yapping at him WHILE he does his full 4 corner pose thing. Davin's finally done and Senior Referee Davis Hightower makes a signal to the back. We've got CAGE MUSIC and it slowly lowers around the ring, and one can't help but to flash back to the best-of-seven these two had a while back, culminating in a classic cage match. These two have, of course, had many classics over the years, but this one will be the last one. Hightower calls for the bell, and WE'RE UNDERWAY!

The two combatants slowly circle each other, and the trash talk, as you'd imagine, is flying back and forth, and this time it's complete with wild, broad gesturing and finger-pointing in each other's faces. Looking to break the stalemate, Davin unleashes a SLAP OF DISRESPECT! Instead of talking however, when Cole wheels around from the impact, Davin tries for a Really Good Diamond Cutter. Cole is just able to shove him off, followed by an Enziguri which sends Davin to the mat as that one really connected. Cole covers and that gets a one count before he is shoved off hard. Cole tries to drop a knee to Davin's head, but Davin grabs Cole's foot, and locks in the Sharpshooter! Davin is trying for the submission, but it’s an easy reach for the ropes for Cole. Davin uses the whole 5-count, but breaks the hold. The two men look to lock up and do so. Davin obviously gains the advantage, but Cole does some innovation and hits a Low Dropkick to the side of Davin's knee, sending him face-first to the mat. Cole rolls out the back side and grabs Davin's foot, and he locks on a Texas Cloverleaf! Both men are trying for submission early, but much like a couple of minutes ago, Davin is very close to the ropes and easily reaches out to get them. Like Davin did, Cole uses the whole 5-count before having to be assisted in breaking the hold by Hightower. Davin looks unhappy by this turn of events, but calls for another lockup. Cole complies and walks in quickly for the lockup, but Davin instead just ROCKS him with a vicious uppercut!

Cole was caught by surprise with that one, and he does a 180 and his eyes roll back in his head. Davin decides it's not time to end things yet, so he grabs Cole on his shoulder, and LAWN DARTS him into the cage! Cole bounces awkwardly off the cage, but Davin is there to catch him, and then WHIPS him to the far side of the cage, and Cole smashes into it. Davin's there to catch him again, and does some cheese-grating spots with Cole, and he is opened up. Davin sets Cole in front of him, and Release German Suplex into the cage! Cole tumbles over lifeless near the middle of the ring, and Davin is climbing the cage! He's not going to take the shitty way out and win by escape, is he? Well he gets to the top...steadies himself, and looks back into the ring! Look out! Davin takes off with a Hesitation Shooting Star Press from the top of the cage...and EATS CANVAS! Cole is JUST able to move or he would have been dead, you know, kinda like Davin is right now. They call it high-risk for a reason folks.

Cole looks at the carcass of Davin, and starts dropping knees to the back of Davin's head. That can't feel good. He heads to the second rope and takes off, drilling Davin in the back of the head with a Hart Elbow. He goes to pull Davin up and does so. He whips Davin into the ropes and follows him. He nearly DECAPITATES him with a clothesline, and Davin flips into the cage. Cole does some cheese grating spots of his own, and now Davin is busted open. Slingshot Suplex by Cole looks just devastating and Davin splats on his back in the middle of the ring. Cole raises his arms over his head, thinking it's over. He goes for the academic cover...1...2....NO! Davin kicked out and Cole has a priceless look of shock on his face. Cole goes back to work with more knees to the back of the head. I'm sure that feels great. Cole pulls Davin up and locks him in...is he going to try for a Power bomb? Wait, he hooks Davin's arms! He won't...He will! PEDIGREE! Cole covers and Davin's going to retire...1....2...NO! Davin kicked out of the Pedigree! Cole is shocked and now infuriated. He pulls Davin up and destroys him with a DDT. Cole runs the ropes and hits a Double Leg Drop. He covers again...1...2...NO! Cole appears less shocked now, just pissed. More knees to the head, and he pulls Davin up....WAY up...he turns him out toward the crowd and this should do it! HEADLINER! Cole covers! 1...2...thre...NO! NO! Davin kicked out of the Headliner! Cole can't believe it and he's beside himself!

Cole is screaming in the face of Davis Hightower, who has to point to the OOWF logo on his shirt to settle things down. Cole isn't relenting, and he also doesn't see Davin who pulls Cole down with a Schoolboy Rollup! 1...2...Cole just does kick out and this just enrages him further. It looks like he's going to drop another knee again, but Davin grabs Cole's ankle and stands up, shaking his head, face covered in blood. Cole tries for an Enziguri, but Davin ducks it, and when Cole comes back around, Davin hits a devastating Dragon Screw which has Cole clutching his knee. Davin smirks, and quickly locks Cole in the Sharpshooter again! Davin REALLY torques back on it, and Cole is in a lot of pain. In fact, Cole is in the hold for 3 or 4 minutes before he somehow gets to the ropes, and Hightower breaks up the hold. When Hightower does so, Davin thinks he's won, so he climbs up on the cage and starts celebrating. Hightower is trying to get his attention to let him know that the match is still going on, but it's no use. Cole limps slightly as he makes his way over to Davin's position, and Davin realizes the match is still going on when Cole hits a Running Power bomb off the Cage! Ouch. Cole covers, 1...2...NO! Davin kicks out again and Cole has a big smile on his face, thinking he really had him that time. Cole mounts Davin and starts whaling away on his face with some Greco-Roman Closed Fist Lefts and Rights. He's rocking the big man, as he has most of the match. He tries for a cover, hooking both legs and a forearm in Davin's face...1...2...NO! Davin again kicks out, but this time Cole doesn't delay.

Cole quickly goes to Davin's legs, and once again locks on his Texas Cloverleaf, and he's got it on well, in the middle of the ring. Davin's in big time trouble, as he struggles, bloodied, to get to the ropes. Cole is sporting the crimson mask as well, pulling back on the hold for all he's worth. 5 full minutes go by, and Davin has never tapped out to anyone, although the pain is starting to overcome him. Desperately, Davin dives for the ropes and gets there. Hightower comes in to break the hold, and much like Davin a few minutes before, Cole thinks he's won. He jumps up and down and celebrates but Hightower is able to get to Cole and explain that the match will continue. Cole switches back into anger mode, and goes over to Davin who is on his knees facing away from him. Cole leans in to attack and takes an elbow to the gut. As if in a slo-mo replay, the same thing happens again. Davin leaps up and hits a Neck breaker, but both men are down. Hightower starts a count. At 6, Davin is up and has to wipe the blood out of his eyes before going over to Cole. He grabs Cole by the back of the head, finds out where he's bleeding from, and starts biting. Ew, that's gross. Davin spits Cole's blood into the air, and Cole's head is now a leaky faucet. Davin whips Cole to the ropes and Davin catches him. AA Spine buster! Davin screams primally and runs toward the ropes. Springboard Moonsault! Davin covers, 1...2...NO! Cole kicks out! This time it's Davin with the shocked face, but he doesn't stop and whips Cole into the corner. Davin hoists Cole up to the top turnbuckle in Superplex position. He spins Cole around and holds him under his arm, his head facing up. Look out, this could do it...Davin jumps...SWEET DREAMS! Davin covers and counts with the ref...1...2...thr...NO! NO! Cole rolled the shoulder and now Davin can't believe it! Davin is in Hightower's face, and Cole sneaks behind and tries to roll him up. But, Davin reaches down and GOOZLES Cole, pulling him up through his legs by his throat. Davin flips the arm over...CHOKE SLAM!

Davin makes the international sign for “That's It” and pulls Cole up again, perhaps for one last time. Davin whips Cole to the ropes, and Davin hits the opposite ropes...REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! That HAS to be it. 1....2....thre...NO! NO! NO! Somehow Cole kicked out! Davin Moreland has lost it and starts talking to himself. He goes to the nearest turnbuckle and starts smashing it with his fists and smashing his head into the cage. Dude. Chill. Finally he seems to get it out of his system, and turns around to see Cole's feet flying at his head, smashing him in the face after Cole hits a dropkick. Davin slumps a little in the corner. Cole shrugs as if to say, “no time like the present”, and gets Davin all the way up, faced toward the crowd, and HITS THE HEADLINER! Cole pumps his fist and hooks the leg...1...2...NO! NO! NO! Davin kicked out of the Headliner AGAIN! This time it's Cole with the Hissy Fit, and starts flipping out and punching Davin wildly in the face. We are able to hear “Die! Die! Why don't you just die?” Eventually, Davin GOOZLES Cole again, and sits up, and then stands up, looking to choke slam him again. Davin flips the arm over and gets him up, and Cole REVERSES into a TOR-NA-DO DDT attempt, but Davin manages to shove him off, and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! That's it! 1...2....NO! NO! NO! Cole kicked out of a second Diamond Cutter! Now Davin seems to have suffered a psychotic break with reality, and starts throwing Cole around the ring like a rag doll. Finally Davin tosses Cole into the corner and starts blasting him with punches, until Cole POKES HIM IN THE EYE! Davin stumbles around. Cole jumps over Davin's back and uses his momentum to get him up for a Third Headliner! He's in position, and uses some extra height to give it a little more power and...DAVIN REVERSES INTO A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! 1...2...3! That's it! Just like that it's over!
WINNER by PINFALL in 42:18...Davin Moreland!

Post-match, the cage is raised, and it appears like both men are on the mat talking to each other for a bit. Cole looks like he tries to shake him off of something, but Davin crawls to the timekeeper and calls for a mic. He gets it, and immediately the crowd starts booing, expecting some long-winded douchey speech that amounts to “Ha!”

DM: Wait a second...hold on now...Security, do you have her?

Some random security guy from the ramp gives him a thumbs up.

DM: OK, good. Folks tonight I'm going to do something that's frowned upon in our business and that's called “Breaking Kayfabe”. I have to do that so you folks can understand what a great guy Chris Cole is...

The crowd is stunned into silence.

DM: Yeah, you heard me right. Davin Moreland the character has never gotten along with “The Main Event” Chris Cole, But Davin Moreland the man, has nothing but the utmost respect and appreciation for Chris Cole

Mild Cheering.

DM: When I was a nothing, a nobody, and I was trying to comeback from some serious problems, Chris Cole saw something in me that no one else did. What happened next was one of the longest feuds in OOWF history, behind only Crete and Moose, right Chris?

Chris Cole nods and smiles on the mat, sitting up.

DM: What Chris Cole said at the Grand Slam ceremony was absolutely correct. He DID make me. He did give me the rub and he did put me over in a way no one else could have. Chris Cole has won every title there is to win in this company, and because of his compassion and unselfishness, he's as responsible as anyone for making me a 3-time World Champion. Chris, it's an honor and a privilege that you asked me to wrestle in your retirement match, and I am forever grateful. Stand up and be recognized for your achievements.

The crowd gets to their feet and gives a long 2-minute ovation, complete with a “Please Don't Go” chant. Davin raises Cole's arm several times, and it seems like it's time for this to wrap up.

DM: Oh...wait wait wait...hold on a second Chris, I have one more surprise for you...Come on out, boys...

To “Master of Puppets”, every all-time member of the influential Three-Piece Set comes down the ramp. Ax-Man, Firechild, Chris Alt, Hardbody Harris and Harper Camby all make their way down, to a monster ovation. Cole appears overjoyed as they all surround him, and the old Team Hardbody members Hardbody Harris and Davin Moreland share a few minutes. Everyone is raising their hands and accepting the accolades. The camera pulls back for a wide-angle shot of the scene, and we fade to commercial.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the April PPV! Live, April 26th, from Hollywood, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 8th from Hollywood, California

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IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Cage Match

The Heroes, Crete, Blitz and Nayr, are announced and sprint to the ring. Instead of going through the cage door, they climb the cage and sit on top of the cage and wave to the crowd and get the crowd fired up, chanting HE-ROES, HE-ROES. They climb down and wait for the champs to make their way to the ring. The OOWF Campeonas de Trios champions, SYB, Skurge and The Amnesiac are announced next, and they make their way to the top of the ramp, flanked by The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, Fezzik, Monkh and someone who looks like it could be Jeffrey From Las Vegas, but he is so wrapped up in bandages, it’s hard to tell. They make their way to the ring, SYB is in surprisingly good shape considering his recent hospital stays. The champs step into the cage, the referee calls for the bell and locks the door, and this one is underway.

Nayr charges across the ring and catches an unsuspecting SYB with a drop kick before he can get out of the ring, looks like he will be the legal man in the ring. Nayr pulls him to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then leaps in the air and hits a spinning heel kick to the back of SYB’s head that sends him into the cage face first. As SYB rebounds, Nayr takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, then reaches out and tags in Blitz. Blitz climbs to the top rope as Nayr holds SYB down, and hits a senton splash on SYB’s back! SYB howls in pain, but Blitz is not done. He pulls SYB to his feet and sends him into the cage face first. As SYB staggers back, Blitz knees him in the midsection and takes him over with a tilt-a-whirl suplex, then tags in Crete. Crete comes into the ring, and he and Blitz each grabs a leg, and make a wish, then roll forward and NAIL Amnesiac and Skurge, who are still waiting outside the ring.

Crete turns his attention back to SYB and waits for him to get to his feet, then lands several stiff kicks to the back of SYB’s legs sending him to the mat. Crete grabs SYB’s legs and traps him in the figure four trying for the submission. SYB howls in pain, but will not give up. After several excruciating minutes, Skurge slips into the ring and breaks the hold with a kick to Crete’s chest. Crete tells the referee to get Skurge out of the ring and tries to pull SYB to his feet, but SYB hits the JERSEY TURNPIKE! Crete is doubled over in pain! SYB grabs Crete and throws him into the cage face first, then tags in The Amnesiac.

The Amnesiac steps between the ropes and sends Crete to the ropes and catches him with a power slam on the rebound, covers, and gets two before Nayr breaks it up with a kick to the back of the head. The Amnesiac pulls Crete to his feet and sends him into the cage once, twice, three times, and finally four times, visiting all four sides of the steel. The Amnesiac pulls a weary Crete to his feet for a suplex, but Crete slips out of The Amnesiac’s grasp and lands on his feet behind him. TA turns around and Crete catches him with a chin buster, then lunges toward his corner and makes the tag to Blitz.

Blitz comes in like a house on fire and takes The Amnesiac to the mat with a clothesline, then catches Skurge coming in and sends him into the cage face first. SYB comes back in and tries a clothesline, but Blitz ducks and catches him with a super kick for his troubles. The Amnesiac is back on his feet and Blitz grabs him and sends him into the cage, then on the rebound lifts him onto his shoulders and starts an airplane spin! He takes out SYB and Skurge and then drops The Amnesiac and staggers around the ring, eventually getting close enough to Nayr so he can make a tag. Nayr springs to the top rope, then decides that that isn’t enough and climbs the corner of the cage and perches on the top of the cage and tries a MOONSAULT! But The Amnesiac moves out of the way at the last second and Nayr crashes and burns!

The Amnesiac makes the tag to Skurge, and he comes in and drops an elbow across Nayr’s chest, and covers for a two count, but it is broken up by Crete! Crete pulls Skurge to his feet and hits the TIGER SUPLEX 85! Crete turns around to get out of the ring, but he is stopped by The Amnesiac, who hits PURE AMNESIA! The Amnesiac turns around and Nayr catches him with HALFLING WIZARD! Nayr celebrates before he should have and SYB charges into the ring and hits a HEBREW HAMMER right to the face! Nayr is down! SYB turns around and Blitz leaps off the ropes and hits a BLITZ FLIP on SYB! Everyone is down! The referee looks around at the carnage and starts the standing ten count. Finally the sides sort themselves out and Crete and Skurge tag in and are now the legal men.

Crete ducks a clothesline from Skurge, but hooks the arm and does one of those Rock float-over DDT’s! Crete covers, but the pin is broken up with a dive from SYB. This brings Nayr and Blitz into the ring, as well as The Amnesiac. As the four men brawl, and the referee struggles to regain order, Crete backs Skurge into the corner and sets him on the top rope and climbs up and hooks him for a superplex. The Amnesiac sees this and catches a charging Nayr with a big boot to the jaw. With Nayr down, and Blitz preoccupied with using the cage to grate SYB’s face like cheese, The Amnesiac runs over and gets underneath Crete and POWERBOMBS him to the mat! Crete’s head SLAMS off the canvas and his eyes roll into the back of his head. Skurge pulls himself up in the corner and steadies himself, then hits the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH from the top! The referee turns around and sees Skurge making the pin, The Amnesiac keeps Nayr at bay and the ref makes the one, two, three!
WINNERS in 15:11 – IHOP

As SYB and the rest of IHOP celebrate, holding their chimpionships high in the air, Brian Dennehy comes out to ringside with a sawed off shotgun and puts it to SYB's head as he backs up the ramp. He pulls SYB away from the rest of IHOP and heads to the back. The cameras follow him through the hall, and we see Dennehy push SYB into a room and lock the door. Dennehy keeps the shotgun pointed at SYB's head, then bends him over a table. Dennehy pulls a red ball gag out of his pocket and slips it around SYB's head, making sure the ball is snugly in his mouth. From there, he proceeds to make a woman of SYB.......repeatedly. Thankfully, the camera falls over, so we just get audio and not the graphic details. Just when you think it can't get any worse for SYB, Dennehy stops. He fixes the camera, and we see he is panting and perspiring heavily. He leaves the room and SYB stops weeping for a moment, and tries to get up, but he hands have been cuffed behind his back. Dennehy comes back into the room, this time leading a 1200lb steer. He instructs the Steer to put his legs on the table. We get a close up of SYB's face and his eyes go wide and a muted scream escapes from the ball gag, and we lose our feed.

The camera cuts back to the arena, where this was being shown on the OOTron. The crowd has been shocked into stunned silence. Skurge, The Amnesiac and The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth are standing there with their jaws dropped staring at the screen. Inside the ring The Heroes Guild have recovered and saw the entire spectacle as well. After a few more seconds, they break out into uproarious laughter, which prompts the crowd to erupt into wild laughter and screams of MOOOOOOOO. IHOP, still looking SHOCKED, rushes to the back to try and find SYB.

MATTE vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Seamus McNasty is out first, to a bit of a mixed reaction from what he did earlier. You can tell the Irish folks in the crowd, because they are cheering at the top of their voices. Seamus heads to the ring, salutes those cheering, sneers at those booing, and waits. “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays, and Matte comes out just about dragging the Onslaught championship. Matte looks like he would rather be anywhere but here. He tosses the Onslaught championship on the announce table and rolls under the bottom rope into the corner. The referee calls for the bell, and we are ready to start this one.

Seamus starts toward the corner, but then stops and barks at the referee to make Matte come out of the corner and fight. Matte slowly gets to his feet, and Seamus charges in and tries a sneak attack clothesline, but Matte sidesteps and pins Seamus in the corner and lights him up with chops to the chest. Matte grabs Seamus in a side head lock and tries to bulldog him out of the corner, but Seamus holds on and throws Matte across the ring. Matte gets to his feet and Seamus clubs him between the eyes with a running forearm that sends Matte between the ropes to the floor.

On the floor Matte shakes his head trying to get his bearings back. Seamus starts out of the ring, but the referee stops him and tells him he has to give Matte time to get back into the ring. Seamus seems rather annoyed by this, but he waits. Matte climbs onto the apron and Seamus shoves the referee aside, which draws a warning from the ref, and hooks Matte and brings him back into the ring with a suplex. Seamus floats over and covers, but Matte kicks out at two. Seamus pulls Matte to a sitting position and repeatedly hammers him with forearms across the face, then locks him in a surfboard, driving his knee between Matte’s shoulder blades. Matte howls in pain, but will not give up. He fights his way to his feet and finally Seamus breaks the hold with another clubbing shot to the back of the head that sends Matte to the canvas face first.

Seamus bounds off the ropes and drops a leg across the back of Matte’s head, hooks him and rolls him over and gets a two count. Seamus pulls Matte up and sends him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon and Matte catches him with a kick to the mouth that stands Seamus upright. Matte then bounds off the ropes and takes Seamus to the mat with a Hard attack clothesline. Matte keeps Seamus down on the mat, and repeatedly drives knees into the side of Seamus’ head trying for the submission, but the tough Irishman will not give up. Matte stands up, measures Seamus and hits a falling head butt, covers and gets a two count of his own.

Matte pulls Seamus up and backs him into the corner. He lands a few more chops, then delivers several shoulders into Seamus’ mid-section. Matte takes a couple of steps back and tries one last shoulder, but Seamus catches him with a knee to the face as he is coming in. Matte staggers backward, Seamus comes out of the corner and catches him with a kick to the gut doubling him over, then runs the ropes and takes Matte to the mat with a spinning neck breaker. Seamus covers again, but once again Matte slips out at two. Seamus shows a little frustration and hammers Matte with closed fist punches to the face, drawing a second warning from the referee. One more warning and Seamus will be disqualified. Unfazed, Seamus pulls Matte to his feet, traps his arms, and repeatedly slams him in the face with head butts, until Matte can barely stand. Then he lifts Matte and hits a PILEDRIVER! Matte is DONE! Seamus floats over and covers, but once again, somehow, Matte manages to roll his shoulder before the three count.

Seamus shows a little frustration now, but also knows he is dangerously close to a disqualification. He lifts a dazed Matte by the hair and shoves him into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Seamus slowly climbs up after him for a superplex, but Matte fights him off with rights and lefts to the face, then finishes him off by biting him on the bridge of the nose! Matte shoves Seamus off the top rope sending him to the mat, then hits a flipping senton that seems to do just as much damage to him as it did to Seamus. Matte is on his feet first, but Seamus gets an eye rake in behind the referee’s back. He sends Matte to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Matte ducks it, grabs Seamus and hits a side Russian leg sweep! Matte gets to his feet and heads to the top rope, he waits for Seamus to get to his feet, and when he does, Matte leaps and tries a hurracarana, but Seamus catches him and delivers a TRIPLE POWER BOMB! On the last one Seamus sits out and covers, the referrer falls to the mat, one, two, thr…..WAIT What happened?

Thim Reynolds pulled the referee out of the ring! He slides in behind Seamus and connects with a stiff kick to the back of Seamus’ head! Seamus falls to the mat, and Thim is right on him, hammering him with rights and lefts. Seamus manages to get to his feet and the two of them go toe to toe. Thim ducks a punch and NAILS Seamus with a clothesline that stuns him. Matte grabs Thim by the arm and spins him around, but Thim connects with a punch to the jaw that sends Matte to the canvas. Thim picks Matte up and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then turns around and sees Seamus getting back onto his feet. Thim charges, snarling the whole way, and spears Seamus taking him to the mat.

Matte gets to his feet on the outside and shakes his head. He looks at the referee who has waved this match off. Matte takes his title, shrugs his shoulders and heads up the ramp. The referee, meanwhile, calls for reinforcements from the back, and police once again make their way to an OOWF ring and try to break up the melee. At the first sight of police, Seamus bails out of the ring. He eyes them suspiciously and points to his head, then slowly heads around the ring and up the ramp.
WINNER – no contest in 9:14

THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Taipei Fence I Quit Match

Each team takes a gander at their surroundings once they enter. An imposing 15 foot high black barred steel cage, about four feet between the fence and the ring, with barbed wire interwoven between each square, with no give to lessen any impact with the wire. Two metal buckets mounted to the base of each ring post, one with glue, the other an assortment of broken glass, nails, tacks, razor blades, and God knows what else. The ONLY way to win the match is to make your opponent say the words “I Quit” into one of four microphones placed within the ring.

The crowd starts to buzz as our four participants stare each other down as our expert guest referee, Ding Wong Soo, flown all the way in from Taipei this morning, explains the rules to each team. The bell sounds and the Aussies and the challengers waste no time in going at it, lefts and rights at the bell and it’s an instant donnybrook. Moose pounds on OBJ, but Gator clotheslines Williams down. GB mounts him for some shots, but LDW blocks and manages to roll him over for some punches. Gator head butts him to break. OBJ fights back on MHJ and takes him down, then attempts to break him in half by putting his throat over the bottom rope, then pulling the rest of his body around the middle rope. Moose reaches his hand in the glue bucket though, then the bucket of goodies, and rakes a mix of glass and tacks down OBJ’s leg. Gator follows over and stomps on Moose while he’s down, making sure to stomp the fist of chards, to put them in MHJ’s hand. Gator Gets a fist of glue, but Moose kicks him thru the ropes and out to the floor, into the cage, and it’s Gator who gets the barbed wire first. LDW jumps on OBJ’s leg, and kz with some double teaming on the leg, and Moose works the calf until OBJ’s jeans are ripped and Moose opens up a gash on his leg. Williams jerks the leg as it bleeds, and while LDW holds it, Moose with a soccer kick to the wound, and OBJ’s hurt early. Gator comes back in having finished loading his fist up and levels Williams with a right to the face, and yeah, he’s bleeding now. Moose blocks a shot though, but Gator blocks back and gets a knee lift. Right hand to the jaw puts Moose down and Gator slugs the top of MHJ’s head and Moose is a bloody mess in short order too. Gator tosses Moose over the top and into the fence, and Moose’s shirt is all torn up by the barbed wire. Williams loads up, and drills Gator in the nuts to stop all that nonsense, and GB is DOWN! Williams drags Gator across the ring by his hair and props him up in the corner – and kicks him in the nuts again just to be a jerk. OBJ is on the floor with Moose and grates his face into the wire, then slams it into the steel. He tries to shove Moose’s head thru the cage, but has to opt for slamming it again instead. In the ring, LDW ties up Gator in the corner, and Williams gets some unprotected shots with the charded up punches, then hits a running dropkick to the gut to take the air out of him. LDW takes a piece of glass off his fist and blatantly jabs it into Gator’s forehead and rips it across in a sick spot. OBJ sneaks in from behind though and comes off the top with a spear to Williams!

Lefts and rights, and OBJ realizes he’s the last one who hasn’t gone to the buckets, but when he goes to the floor, Moose drives him to the post, and the glue bucket dislodges from the ring post. MHJ pours the glue onto OBJ’s back, then pops the other bucket off and dumps the glass, nails, tacks and all that shit onto him too! OBJ climbs back in, and Williams with a simple scoop slam and all the goodies go right into OBJ’s back! Moose brings a chair into the ring and drives it across OBJ’s back! Every shot to the back has got to be torture with all that stuff back there. LDW walks across OBJ’s back, but Gator explodes up and clotheslines Williams down! Moose pounds down GB, but Gator fights back and they fight to the floor. Irish whip into the cage and Moose eats steel again. Gator rams Moose’s face into the cage repeatedly, then pulls free some barbed wire from the fence and chokes Moose down with it. Gator grabs another piece of wire and wraps Moose’s face with it, then slams his face into the steel again. Good lord. Williams tries to sneak up from behind, but Gator catches him and flapjacks him into the lower part of the cage, and LDW’s head snaps back pretty nastily. OBJ tries to pick some chards out of his back to no avail and comes out to join the fun on the floor. With the wire still around Moose’s head, OBJ places the empty chards bucket on MHJ’s head… then DRILLS him with the steel chair!! And again! And AGAIN!! Moose crumples to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Gator drags Williams across the floor by his hair, loads up in the bucket again, and punches LDW right in the nuts!! Payback is indeed a bitch. Gator crotches Williams in the cage, then climbs the fence and peppers him in the face with right hands until Williams falls six feet to the floor. On the other side of the ring, Moose still has the bucket stuck on his head, and OBJ FINALLY loads up his fist and goes to the body like Rocky Balboa, rips Moose’s black shirt off, then goes to the body some more. He rolls Moose in the ring, bucket still on the head, and slams MHJ into the turnbuckle over and over and over again, the crowd counting to 27 before OBJ’s had enough. Moose staggers around, the blood visibly coming from under the bucket, and OBJ pulls the bucket off his head and there is indeed blood everywhere. But OBJ sucks in the cheers for a moment too long, because Moose drills him with a LOADED HEART PUNCH OUT OF NOWHERE before collapsing himself to the mat.

With both OBJ and Moose down, Gator goes under the ring for some more fun… and pulls out a plate glass table! GB slides it into the ring and sets it up, and it’s clear what he wants to do with it. Gator tries suplexing Williams from the apron thru the table, but LDW twists and lands on his feet. German suplex thru the glass? Nope, Gator counters and looks for his own… but Williams counters that with the good ol’ standby: the blind kick to the nuts! Gator to the mat, and Williams grabs him by the legs, adjusts him slightly – and CATAPULTS GATOR UP THRU THE GLASS TABLE!!! HOLY SHIT!! Glass shatters everywhere, all in Gator’s face, and after Williams gets the glass off him, LDW slaps on the STF~! GB’s trapped, blood pouring down his face, but will not quit. So Williams grabs a large piece of the broken table, and uses that to assist the hold, modifying it to a chokehold with the glass! He’s gonna slit Gator’s throat!! But OBJ is up and breaks up the hold!! He tries a camel clutch, but Moose is back up and wants another Heart Punch, but OBJ breaks the hold, and grabs Moose arm for a judo throw. OBJ tries to lock on a Fujiwara Arm bar, but Williams with a running knee from behind and that sends OBJ thru the ropes and back to the floor. Williams now uses the free barbed wire to assault OBJ, tying the wire around OBJ’s neck. Williams drags OBJ back into the ring by the barbed wire, but Moose grabs him and tosses him back over the top and they HANG OUTBACK JACK WITH THE BARBED WIRE~! As Williams holds on, Moose rolls out to the floor and loads up the fists again. Lefts and rights to an exposed OBJ who can’t protect himself and can’t breathe! Moose hits him with the chair a few times! But back in the ring, Gator is up, unbeknownst to LDW… and CHOMP! WILLIAMS IS DEAD~! That frees OBJ to the floor, and Moose sees what’s happened and goes after GB, but Gator hotshots him to the ring post! CHOMP~! MOOSE IS DEAD~! Gator rolls out, rips the buckets off of one corner, sets them inside and grabs the chair. Gator pours the glue all over the chair, then dumps the chards on the chair. This isn’t good. Gator grabs Moose and it’s a PILEDRIVER ON THE CHARDED UP CHAIR~! There is blood all over the ring, all over the ref, all over the floor – even on some fans in the front row. And let’s have some more, and Gator returns the favor again to LDW by taking some glass and carving up HIS face, too.

OBJ is somehow stirring and pulls out ANOTHER plate glass table from under the ring. The champs set that table up and they want the CALL OF THE WILD~! Gator grabs Moose, but Williams grabs his foot enough to distract away from the move. But as Williams crawls up and shies away from Gator, OBJ comes from the other side with the BOOMERANG~! Williams sells it to the floor. Moose has tipped the table over, and is leaning against it, but Gator kicks him in the head. GB puts Moose’s throat over the glass edge of the table. OBJ grabs the chair with all the chards on it… they’re gonna decapitate Moosehead Jack! OBJ takes the chair to the top rope. Gator has Moose held down. OBJ looks around to the crowd… and the bell rings??? A suited man hurries from backstage with a microphone to massive boos:

“Stop this madness! Stop it now! I am Thomas P. Whittington and on behalf of the Oregon State Athletic Commission, I cannot allow this bedlam to continue any longer! Get the gurneys, the EMT’s, paramedics, get them out here now! This debacle is over! When we agreed to have this rasslin show staged here, we were NOT told it would consist of such barbaric activities as what I’ve witnessed over the past 45 minutes. Per the Oregon State Athletic Commission, this match is over! And if I see so much as a hint of action in the remainder of this show that would be considered a criminal activity, I will shut the entire event down on the spot! Now get this garbage out of the ring!”

Mr. Whittington of the OSAC leaves to boos as the cage is raised. OBJ and GB are in disbelief, but set the table back up and hit Moose with the CALL OF THE WILD THRU THE GLASS TABLE anyway!!! Both Gator and OBJ collapse in exhaustion and blood loss afterward. The EMT’s and gurneys indeed do come out, and the challengers are hauled away. Gator and OBJ refuse medical treatment and instead want to walk to the back on their own power. They make it about ten feet from the ring and collapse to the floor. Medics quickly attend to them as well, loading them up, and taking them to a waiting ambulance.
WINNER - NO CONTEST AT 49:07 DUE TO STOPPAGE BY OREGON STATE ATHLETIC COMMISSION


<we cut to GM the Rick in the back, who has caught up with Thomas P. Whittington>

GMtR: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

TPW: What?

GMtR: I am trying to run a show here! How can you just come out and stop the match?

TPW: A MATCH? You call that a MATCH? A match is an athletic contest between two athletes in a competition, THAT was nothing at ALL like a match! That was pure barbarity! Those men could have DIED!

GMtR: Oh please, they have been in FAR worse than that

TPW: It appalls me that you are serious about that, and for that, you should be charged with a crime. What we saw out there was the human equivalent of cock fighting! Mr. Rick, I let the earlier match slide, where a referee, not even a participant in the match, was hit with a SLEDGEHAMMER! I let the match where two competitors were surrounded by FLAMES slide, I even let what appeared to be forced sodomy from a bull slide, simply because I was too repulsed to step in and stop it, but I will NOT sit back and watch four men do their very best to end one another’s lives! You CAN NOT tell me that that was within the bounds of a scripted match!

<kayfabe pokes her head around the corner and sees TPW, then quietly shrinks back into the shadows>

GMtR: Ok fine, maybe they were a little overzealous, but I know my men, they were in no real danger…..

TPW: Mr. Rick, where are those men right now?

GMtR: Well……they are on their way to the hospital, but……

TPW: On the way to the hospital. Mr. Rick, if I see so much as a hint of that kind of action again, I will pull the plug on this show and make sure you never run in Oregon again. And furthermore, I will see to it that you are charged with endangering the lives of employees, OSHA will be happy to hear about that.

<TPW turns on his heels and leaves, leaving GM the Rick standing there with his mouth hanging open. Erlana walks up next to him>

E: I think he’s serious

GMtR: Do me a favor, go get Poe and Darling and tell them they need to come to my office IMMEDIATELY

<Erlana leaves and Rick heads back to his office>

CHRIS COLE vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

“The Trooper” by Iron Maiden plays over the PA system, and your challenger—“Lionheart” Chris Evans—makes his way to the ring. Evans looks focused and ready to walk away with his first major OOWF championship. But he must first get past the OOWF Intercontinental Champion, “Main Event” Chris Cole. Cole comes out to his traditional “Master of Puppets,” complete with Air Guitar. No promo from Cole tonight, as he wants to get on with the action, and past the actions of Davin Moreland from last night. We exchange pleasantries, and our match is underway!

Both men immediately lock-up, and Cole gets control of the left arm. But Evans is ready, immediately rolling through and taking Cole over with an arm drag, coming up with an arm bar. Evans works on the arm, wrenching it in multiple directions—you can see the pain on Cole’s face! Evans gets them down to the mat, and applies the pressure. He releases long enough to land three knees into the arm, and goes right back to the pressure. The referee asks, but there’s no way Cole is submitting mere minutes into the match!

Cole finally makes his way over to the ropes, but Evans pulls him back into the center of the ring. Rinse and repeat, as Cole gets back to the ropes once more. Evans wraps his arm through Cole’s and pulls them back to the center again, but Cole uses that momentum to roll-up Evans. 1…2…NO! That was close! We nearly had the champ retain in quick fashion. Evans and Cole are on their feet, as Evans looks at the champion with amazement. Cole points to Evans, telling him to watch out, because he can end it at any time. Cole signals for another tie-up, but Evans kicks him in the side of the leg, a move that Cole obviously wasn’t expecting. Evans connects with a second kick to the side of the leg, and Cole screams in pain. But he also flexes his arms, points at Evans and immediately grabs him for a Leg & Head Suplex! He tosses over, pops up and immediately takes him over with an Exploder Suplex. Cole is relentless, finally connecting with a third straight high impact move, dropping Evans with a Michinoku Driver! Cover by Cole, and he only gets two!

There is a slight murmur from the fans, and we see Alexis Darling make her way to ringside, and take a seat next to the announcers, without saying a word to anyone.

Evans is slow to get up, and Evans catches him with yet another suplex, this time an Overhead T-Bone Suplex! He covers once again, and gets two. Cole retreats to a corner as Evans gets up. With his opponent up, Cole charges and connects with a Yakuza kick that also gets a near fall! Cole has racked up four near falls in ten minutes!

Cole changes his strategy a little, sending Evans to the outside. Cole slingshots himself over the top, taking Evans down. From there, he sits Evans in a chair. Cole, for some reason, then goes to the time keepers table and admirers his championship, the one that completed his OOWF Grand Slam. He then turns and charges at Evans for another Yakuza Kick, but misses! Cole has straddled himself on the chair! Evans connects with a Super kick, but Cole is still balanced on the chair. So Evans hops onto the ring apron, and takes Cole off of the chair with a clothesline! Evans rolls Cole into the ring, and climbs up top.

Evans flies off and connects with a Double Stomp to the midsection of Chris Cole. Evans covers…1…2…NO! Cole gets the shoulder up. Evans won’t let-up, lifting Cole into a fireman’s carry, turning it into the Lethal Vortex! He connects and covers…1…2…NO! Cole is nearly out, but kicks out in instinct. Evans gets Cole into position, and signals for the Chain of Olympus! Power bomb! He lifts him back up for…a second power bomb! He holds him in a pin position…1…2…NO! Cole turns to his side, and Evans uses that momentum to take him over, holding onto the left leg for the single leg Boston Crab. The referee asks, and Cole motions like he’s about to tap out. His hand drops toward the mat, but he pulls it up right before tapping. Cole is still in the match! After holding the Half-Crab, Evans finally turns through and locks in the STF. Both men are in the center of the ring, and Cole has a long way to go to make it to the ropes.

As Cole gets within 6 inches of the hold, Evans releases, going back to Cole’s legs. He steps through and locks in the Ode to Canada, pulling him into the center of the ring. You can see the frustration on Cole’s face, as he’s seemingly not himself tonight. Cole seems resigned to tap, but instead hooks Evans’ heel, pulling one le through, releasing the pressure of the Sharpshooter. Evans loses balance and drops to the mat, just as Cole pops up and drops multiple knees to Evans’ leg.

Cole lets Evans up, and goes behind to get in position for a belly-to-back suplex. Cole turns Evans to the side, curling his leg under, dropping Evans’ shin across Cole’s knee. Cole then takes him over in a back suplex. Cole hangs on to one leg, rolls through with Evans and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf! He pulls it upright and pushes his knee into the back of Evans’s neck. Evans is trapped, but refuses to tap. Evans reaches for the ropes, but Cole pulls him back to the center multiple times, not allowing Cole to break the hold. After two minutes of being locked in, Evans starts to squirm, and Cole is losing his position. Cole adjusts, stepping over into a traditional Texas Cloverleaf in the center of the ring. Evans struggles, but can’t move toward the ropes, and has no choice but to tap out!
WINNER by SUBMISSION in 22:23 and still OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Chris Cole

<we cut back to GM the Rick’s office where Poe and Alexander Darling are both standing>

AD: We have a match to get to Rick, can we speed this up? I have reservations at the finest restaurant in Oregon to celebrate my title victory

P: Boy, the only reservation you will be making is at the local hospital

AD: Call me boy again and see what happens to you

GMtR: ENOUGH! I need to talk to both of you. I know your match had been billed as a no-rules match, but I have the Oregon State Athletic Commission breathing down my neck. If they see anything they deem inappropriate they will shut this show down.

AD: Sounds like your problem

GMtR: It is, and now I am making it YOUR problem. If EITHER of you get out of line during this match, if EITHER of you do ANYHTING that will get his panties in a bunch, there will be hell to pay, do I make myself clear?

P: Crystal. Now, if you will excuse me, the CHAMP has some last minute preparations to make

AD: Shine that title up Poe, it will be mine soon enough!

GMtR: Darling?

AD: Fine Rick, but let me ask you, just what are you gonna do if it DOES get out of hand?

<GM the Rick gets right in Darling’s face, slightly unnerving Alex>

GMtR: Darling, if you fuck this up, for the remainder of your contract, you will not so much as SNIFF a title shot. You will be done with your match and back at catering before half the boys are even ready for their match. You will be the personal whipping boy for every wrestler in the OOWF. You will be jerking that curtain so hard, you will make Rocky King look like Ric Flair. Do I make myself clear?

<Darling glares at GM the Rick, then a smirk crosses his face>

AD: Sure thing boss. Is it ok if I go now? I have a title to win

<Darling leaves and Rick slumps into his seat>

POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

Run DEA member Alexander Darling is announced first, and after his lengthy, pompous, entrance is complete, he heads to the ring, accompanied by Alexis Darling. Alex steps between the ropes and looks like a man who is completely confident that they will walk out of the match as the world heavyweight champion. His looks of confidence changes to a sneer as Poe’s music plays, and the world champion comes out to the top of the ramp, a black, blood-soaked towel over his head, the OOWF World Heavyweight Title in one hand, and Selena on his arm. Poe gets a nice ovation and makes his way to the ring. He and Selena step between the ropes, Darling gives a little look toward Selena and Poe responds with a threat that Darling completely ignores. The referee checks both men and calls for the bell, and this one is underway. Both men bail out of the ring before anything happens, and grabs chairs. They stand on opposite side of the ring, staring at one another and volumes seem to pass between them. Finally, they seems to come to a silent agreement, perhaps Rick’s threat DID make a dent. They toss the chairs aside and slide into the ring.

The two men meet in the center of the ring and the mood immediately changes to cold hatred. They stare at one another, and it seems like a lot is being said between them without a word leaving either mans lips. Darling slowly looks down to Poe’s oft-injured ankle, and he smirks. That’s all Poe needs, he unleashes a right hook to Darling’s jaw that catches him off guard and ends him to the mat. Darling springs back to his feet, but Poe catches him with several more shots to the face, then sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. Darling gets to his feet quickly, and Poe charges across the ring and catches him with a boot to the face that sends him over the top rope to the floor.

Darling hits the floor and grabs his jaw, but he is quickly back to his feet and glares at Poe before Poe can do anything. Alexander slowly climbs onto the apron and takes his time getting back into the ring. Poe waits in the center of the ring, daring Darling to come to him. Darling obliges, and calls for a test of strength. Poe puts his arms up, and they lock fingers and grunt like two wild bulls. Poe has the height advantage, which gives him the edge. He starts driving Darling to the mat when Darling kicks Poe’s ankle! Darling kicks it several times, breaking the hold and dropping Poe to one knee. Darling hammers Poe with shots to the head and face, then bounds off the ropes and catches Poe with a knee to the face that sends the champ to the mat, then out of the ring to the floor.

Now it is Poe’s turn to regroup, he gets to his feet quickly, but that doesn’t stop Darling. He charges across the ring and dives between the ropes and takes Poe to the floor with a suicide dive. Darling is up quickly and immediately starts stomping on Poe’s ankle. Poe fights back though, catching Darling with several shots to the midsection, then he reaches up and grabs him by the head and slams him into the guard rail. Poe gets to his feet and shoots Darling back into the ring and follows him.

As Poe steps between the ropes Darling rakes the eyes and takes Poe to the mat with a side head lock. Poe quickly gets to his feet and shoves Darling to the ropes, and takes him to the mat on the rebound with a shoulder block. Poe then hits the ropes, but Darling stays on the mat and Poe steps over him, as Poe rebounds, Darling leap frogs over him sending Poe to the ropes again. This time on the rebound, Poe tries for a clothesline, but Darling catches him with a knee to the midsection that doubles him over, then DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT. Darling rebounds off the ropes and drops a knee right across Poe’s throat, then keeps it there while the referee gives him the four count of doom. Darling breaks the choke just before the referee disqualifies him.

Darling keeps Poe on the mat and repeatedly drives knees into Poe’s side, then grapevines the arm, and hammers Poe’s ribs. Poe winces in pain, but that pain is quickly replaced by rage. Poe fights to his feet, eating several more shots to the ribs along the way, and backs Darling into a corner. The referee calls for a clean break, but he does not get one, as Poe DRIVES and elbow into the side of Darling’s head. Poe then unleashes a barrage of chops that nearly cave Darling’s chest in. Poe grabs a stunned Darling and sets him on the top rope, and starts to climb up after him, but Darling connects with several elbows to the top of Poe’s head that stun the champ. Darling stands on the middle rope about to attempt a double axe-handle, when Poe recovers and catches Darling with a stiff uppercut that sends the challenger off the ropes. Darling falls over the top rope awkwardly, hits the apron, then falls to the floor shoulder first.

Darling grabs his shoulder in pain, and Alexis immediately runs to his side with a look of concern on her face. Poe immediately leaves the ring and walks toward Darling and glares down at Alexis. She moves out of the way and Poe pulls Darling to his feet, hammerlocks his arm and runs the injured shoulder into the stairs. Darling grimaces in pain leaning against the ring steps, Poe gets a running start and connects with a boot to the injured shoulder, then pulls Darling off the mat and rolls him back into the ring and covers, but Darling kicks out at two. Poe is unfazed as he grabs an arm bar and puts all his weight on Darling’s shoulder, pulling his arm back. Poe has a look of joy in his eyes as Darling suffers in pain. Darling fights to his feet and Poe snaps Darling’s arm and wrings it and grabs his hand and lifts him off the mat! Darling howls in pain, but does not submit. Finally after several agonizing seconds, Poe lets him fall to the mat. Poe looks like he wants to rip Darling’s arm off and beat him with it.

Poe stands over Darling as Darling tries to get off the mat, his arm hanging limply at his side. As he gets to his feet, Poe grabs Darling and locks him in a chicken wing, then lifts him off the ground, once again trying for the submission. Darling howls in pain, but once again will not quit. Poe holds him up there forever, and finally wanders close enough to the ropes so that Darling can kick off the top rope and send both men to the mat. The referee starts the ten count, but Poe is up at about four. Poe waits for Darling to pull himself to his feet, then catches him with a shoulder block on that injured shoulder that sends Darling to the ropes gasping in pain. Poe then sends him into the corner, Darling hits shoulder first and falls to one knee. As he stands back up, Poe charges into the corner and tries for a big boot to the face, but Darling side steps and Poe hangs his foot up on the top rope. Darling immediately dives for the plant leg (conveniently the one with the injured ankle) and rolls his leg, violently twisting Poe’s knee and sending him to the mat.

Poe grabs his knee in pain while Darling pulls himself to the corner and tries to get some feeling back in his arm. Poe is on his hands and knees grabbing his knee and wincing in pain. Darling pulls himself to his feet using his good arm and charges out of the corner and connects with a perfect Randy Orton punt to Poe’s head that sends the champ to the mat. Darling flips Poe over and covers, but the champion rolls his shoulder at two. Keeping the dazed Poe on the mat, Darling puts his injured leg on the bottom rope and leaps up and drives his knee across Poe’s knee. Darling falls to the mat and uses one good arm to pull Poe toward the corner. He manages to grabs both of Poe’s legs and he pulls forward POSTING Poe! Darling then takes the injured leg and SLAMS it into the ring post several times, then traps Poe in a POST FIGURE FOUR! Poe grunts in pain and closes his eyes tight against the pain. Now Darling has a look of pure hate in his eyes as he threatens to snap Poe’s leg like a twig. The referee starts the ten count and Darling breaks at seven and hurriedly gets back into the ring, just beating the count out. Darling covers Poe and gets another two count, but Poe reaches out and grabs the bottom rope forcing the break.

Darling pulls Poe to a sitting position and rains elbows down on top of his head, and lands several cross faces across Poe’s nose that leaves it bloody. Darling slams Poe back on the mat and drops a knee across his face and covers again, but once again Poe kicks out at two. Darling lets Poe get to his feet, then grabs his leg and DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIPS him across the ring. Darling torques the hell out of Poe’s knee, and it sends him under the ropes to the floor. Poe pulls himself up and tries to walk it off and almost falls to the floor. Poe grabs the apron to brace himself, and from the inside Darling reaches over the ropes and grabs Poe and pulls him onto the apron, hooks him and suplexes him back into the ring. Darling floats over and covers for a two count.

Darling shows a little bit of frustration and heads to the top rope and waits. As Poe gets to his feet, Darling leaps trying for a flipping splash, but Poe drops to one knee and kind of catches Darling and DROPS him across his knee! Darling bounces off Poe’s knee, and grabs his lower back, his mouth drops wide open, but no sound comes out. Intense pain registers in Darling’s eyes, but no sound comes. Poe snarls and pulls himself to his feet and limps to where Darling is lying in pain on the mat, leaps in the air and drops a leg across Darling’s lower back. Poe plants a knee into the small of Darling’s back, grabs the injured shoulder and grapevines it and pulls back. Sweat pours off of Darling’s face as he fights the pain, he is nowhere near the ropes, so if he is going to escape, he is going to have to fight out of it somehow. Darling finally gets desperate and bites Poe’s hand, forcing him to break the hold.

Poe waits for Darling to get to his feet, then grabs him in a bear hug, lifting him off the mat. But the damage done to Poe’s leg won’t let him hold Darling’s weight for long and he is forced to let him back to the mat, and runs him into the corner. Darling hits the turnbuckles hard and he and Poe smack skulls and fall to the mat. The referee starts another ten count, and neither man moves at all until the referee hits six. Darling is up first, and he tries to pull Poe up, but Poe connects with an uppercut that rocks Darling’s head back and sends him into the corner. Poe gets to his feet and grabs Darling’s leg and pulls him to the middle of the ring and traps him in a sharpshooter! Poe leans back as far as he can putting all the pressure on Darling’s lower back. Once again Darling howls in pain, and once again, he will not quit. He works the move until he can get hold of Poe’s injured leg and upset Poe’s balance, sending Poe to the mat. Darling somehow manages to reverse the move into an ankle lock! Now it is Poe’s turn to howl in pain, especially as Darling gets to his feet and really ramps up the pressure. Poe rolls onto his back, careful not to let his shoulders get counted down. As he bends his legs to relieve the pressure, he pulls Darling in closer and HAMMERS him with several stiff kicks to the face. Darling releases the hold and falls to one knee. Poe gets to his feet and Darling pops up and charges, but Poe goozles him and CHOKESLAMS HIM TO HELL! Poe falls on top of Darling, but can’t get the three count.

Poe pulls Darling to his feet and shoves him into the corner and sets him on the top rope. Poe climbs up for a superplex, pulling Darling onto the top rope. Both men are perched precariously on the top turnbuckle. Poe has Darling hooked and is about to take him over when Darling kicks Poe’s ankle. Poe’s foot slips off the top rope and he falls down, crotching himself on the top! Darling falls off the top ropes as well, but fortunately for him, lands on his feet on the apron. Darling slips back into the ring and grabs Poe by the back of the head, pulls him off the ropes and DROPS him on the apron with a neck breaker! Poe grabs the back of his neck in pain as Darling floats over and covers, hooking the leg this time. The referee hits the mat and counts, one……two……thre…..NO!

Darling shows a little frustration, and barks at the referee, then grabs Poe by the head and hammers him with closed fist punches to the face. Darling gets to his feet and calls for the CRUCIFIX BOMB! Darling pulls Poe up and tries to lift him for the Crucifix Bomb, but his back gives out and Darling drops Poe to the mat and falls to his knees. Both men are down, again, and once again the referee starts the count.

Both men are exhausted as this match passes the forty-five minute mark. Poe pulls himself to his feet on one side of the ring, still barely able to put any weight on his leg. On the opposite side of the ring, Darling slumps against the ropes while Alexis shouts encouragement at him. Poe staggers to the middle of the ring and Darling springs to his feet and charges attempting a spear, but Poe side steps and shoves Darling to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a HIEROGLYPH! Darling’s head nearly makes it to the twelfth row. He hits the mat and his eyes roll back into his head. Poe falls on him and covers, hooking the leg, but once again, Darling shows his resiliency by kicking out at two!

Poe slumps to the mat next to the Boy and looks at him for a moment, then snarls and pulls him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a boot to the midsection, then hooks him and DROPS him with an OBELISK! Darling is dead. That’s it, it’s over. Poe drags himself over to Darling and drapes an arm across his chest, the referee falls to the mat

One…..
Two…..
Thre……NO!

Jesus H. Christ on a cracker, how did Darling kick out of that? Poe slowly gets to his feet and pulls a dead Alexander Darling to his feet and sends him to the ropes, Poe tries a clothesline, but somehow Darling ducks. On the rebound, Darling tries a cross body block, but Poe catches him, and tries to heft him up for a slam, but Darling shifts his weight and grabs Poe around the head and PLANTS him with a DDT! Darling gets to his feet and pulls Poe up to his feet, lifts him, CRUCIFIX BOMB! Poe hits the mat hard, and Darling folds him up like an accordion and covers…..

One…..
Two…..
THRE…..NO!

Now it is Darling’s turn to look shocked. He struggles to his feet as the announcer announces that fifty five minutes have passed. He kicks Poe until Poe is face down on the mat, then grabs his arms and hits the CURBSTOMP! Darling flips Poe over again and locks in the DARLING VICE! Poe fights the move, reaching up and hammering Darling in the face with closed fists, weakening Darling’s grip. Poe manages to sit up, taking the pressure off his throat and neck and catches Darling with several closed fist punches to the temple until he finally breaks the hold. Both men get to their feet and Darling tries a kick to the midsection, but Poe catches his leg. Darling connects with an enzuguri that rocks the big man! Darling heads to the corner, pulling Poe with him, grabs a front face lock and climbs the turnbuckle and is going to try a tornado DDT! Before he can pull the move off though, Poe slips free and grabs Darling, lifts him up, and drops him with a powerbomb ON THE TURNBUCKLE! The back of Darling’s head hits the metal that connects the turnbuckle to the ring. Poe holds on, and when he lifts him again, we see blood running off the back of Darling’s head and down his back. Poe turns and DRIVES Darling to the mat with a second power bomb, holds on, and gives one final power bomb. Darling’s eyes roll back into his head, and Poe crawls over to Darling, hooks his leg and folds him up and gets the one, two, three. This one, mercifully, is over.
WINNER in 58:57 – Poe

After the match, Poe is handed the title and he slumps to the mat. Alexis slides into the ring and pulls Darling out and motions to the back. Firewoman and Davin come to ringside and they help Alex to the back. Inside the ring, Selena hands Poe the title and he slowly gets to his feet and looks at the title, then at Selena gratefully. The camera catches Darling stop on the ramp and turn around and look at Poe with hate burning in his eyes. Poe hobbles over to the ropes and holds the title high in the air and sneers at Darling. Selena holds the ropes for the champ as he gingerly leaves the ring, and we fade to black.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the April PPV! Live, April 26th, from Hollywood, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 1st from Springfield, California

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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Idaho

ZANE MYERS vs. IGNATIUS P. FREELY

Freely is a local worker in the Idaho Championship Wrestling Association. He makes his way to the ring amid a smattering of applause from the crowd. “Insane” Zane Myers is announced, he is making his OOWF debut here tonight. He comes to the ring slapping hands with the fans, hugging children, and pausing for pictures. He climbs between the ropes and waves to the crowd, then shakes referee Hightower’s hand, then extends his hand to Freely as well. Freely looks reluctant, but shakes his hand anyway. Myers moves back to his corner and stretches on the ropes, the referee calls for the bell and we are underway! The second the bell rings, the look on Myers face changes and he charges out of the corner and SANDWICHES Freely in the corner with a clothesline. He pulls Freely out of the corner and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a massive power slam. Myers covers, but Freely manages to roll his shoulder at two. Freely steps out of the ring onto the apron while Freely tries to get his wits about him, when Freely turns around, Myers launches himself into the ring and sends Freely sprawling with a shoulder block! Myers is relentless, he pulls Freely to his feet and scoops him up and DRIVES him down with a shoulder breaker on the mat. Myers then leaves the ring again and climbs to the top rope, pauses for a second, then drops a big head butt onto the shoulder he just tries to break. Freely writhes in pain, and Myers covers him again, but once again Freely kicks out at two. Myers pulls Freely to his feet and whips him HARD into the corner, Freely hits hard enough to rattle the ring, then staggers forward a few steps. Myers grabs him and drops him across his knee with a pendulum back breaker, and keeps him there for a bit to think about it. Finally Myers shoves Freely off his leg and Freely rolls out of the ring to the floor. Myers doesn’t give him a moments rest though, he follows him to the outside and pulls him to his feet and runs him back first into the apron. Freely staggers away, but Myers grabs him by the head. Freely turns and rakes the eyes, earning himself a second to recover. Freely charges at Myers, but Myers catches him with a big back body drop on the concrete! Freely hits with a thud and howls in pain. Myers rolls him back into the ring, Freely tries to beg for mercy, but Myers kicks him in the mouth and pulls him up and sends him to the ropes, Myers catches Freely in a black hole slam, but instead of driving him to the mat, he drops him across his knee! Freely grabs his back in agony, and Myers gets to his feet and makes the familiar motion for a backbreaker! The crowd pops and Myers lifts Freely onto his shoulders into the TORTURE RACK! Freely tries to escape, but he cannot, and he is quickly forced to tap out.
WINNER in 4:18 – Zane Myers

After the match, the bell rings, and Myers turns to the referee and shakes his hand, then grabs a prone Freely’s arm and raises it and gets the crowd to give him a nice round of applause before Myers heads back to the back, pausing to thank the fans along the way.

IHOP vs. BLITZ & NAYR

Angelo Barros is YOUR Referee!

SYB and Skurge out first to a chorus of boos. SYB waves to everyone while Skurge snarls at the crowd. Pillar's "Front Line" reverberates through the arena as Nayr and Blitz dash to the ring, making the IHOP players powder for a bit while they hit the ring and pose for the crowd. The young Heroes back flip off their corners and pose again for the crowd as SYB and Skurge jump back into the ring and charge them. Nayr and Blitz see em coming - LOW BRIDGE! IHOP sprawls to the floor. The two heroes hit the corners on that side and point to their fallen opponents before Nayr shouts "HAVE AT THEE~!" And the two leap at IHOP with matching SUPER HERO CROSS BODY SPLASHES! Crowd is already well into this as Barros tries to untangle the pile of bodies on the floor. Nayr recovers first, grabs SYB and shoves him back into the ring. Barros shoos Blitz to his corner and sends Skurge in the opposite direction so he can at least start the match.

SYB and Nayr lock up to start. Nayr quickly chains to a headlock, but SYB pushes Nayr away. Paladin hits the ropes and slides between SYB's legs, avoiding a clothesline. Nayr springboards off the opposite ropes for a SOMERSAULT INVERTED DDT as SYB turns around. Quick cover only gets a one count and the two snap back to their feet. SYB holds up a hand for a test of strength. Nayr reaches and gets a knee to the gut. He then grabs Nayr's still-outstretched arm and wrings it tight, pushing to a hammerlock and forcing Nayr to his knees. He paintbrushes Nayr on the back of the head repeatedly, keeping Nayr in place. Blitz begs Nayr to power out, but Nayr is shaking his head. Blitz yells "It's a REFLEX save, doofus!" (crowd erupts in a "Geek!" chant). Nayr starts shaking his free hand and pushes up to one knee. SYB looks around and puts both hands to the hammerlock. Nayr ducks under the hammerlock and reverses the arm wringer! SYB screams and slaps at his shoulder, and Nayr pumps it a few times. SYB tries to swing in Skurge's direction but Nayr has him tight. He backs up to let Blitz tag in. Blitz vaults the ropes and swings into a dropkick, and Nayr releases SYB to send him tumbling back across the ring, Blitz hops up and executes a ROLLING THUNDER on SYB, Cover only gets a one count, and SYB dives to tag in Skurge. Blitz takes a couple of steps back as the big man legs over the rope and cracks his knuckles menacingly. Blitz looks over his shoulder to Nayr. "He's got REACH!"

Nayr shouts back, "but you are one size level lower than him, he can't catch you!" (Another "Geek!" chant erupts)

Blitz steels himself and charges Skurge. The big man tries to level the little guy with a clothesline but Blitz ducks! he hits the ropes and leaps onto Skurge's back before he can turn around. Blitz starts pummeling Skurge with cross face forearms, but Skurge doesn't seem all that fazed. (Nayr: "All you're doing is making him mad!") Skurge reaches over his head and ragdoll slams Blitz clean off his back. Arrogant cover gets two, and Blitz fails to escape as Skurge catches him by the back of the tights. He plants a few forearms to Blitz's back, then splatters him with a one-man flapjack. Skurge tags SYB back in. The big man snags his partner and drops him on Blitz WITH AUTHORITY! The tag-team cover only gets a two count. Blitz tries to crawl away, but SYB gets him with a WEDGIE. Blitz makes a weird "Squeak" noise and reaches for Nayr, eyes wide with shock (or pain). SYB pulls in Blitz for a Back Suplex, then another cover - and ANOTHER TWO COUNT! Skurge is not pleased and SYB takes a few seconds to pitch a fit about it. Skurge starts yelling at Barros, drawing him away from the action as SYB gets Blitz to his feet. JERSEY TURNPIKE and Blitz crumples. SYB covers, and Skurge points out the pin fall! 1, 2, - Nayr charges in for the save. Barros shoos him to the corner as SYB stands Blitz up for another JERSEY TURNPIKE but Barros sees SYB "winding up". The ref admonishes SYB and asks him if he did that before - SYB pleads innocence but the crowd begs to differ. SYB tells them all to shut up, and Skurge stands on the corner holding his ears. Blitz, meanwhile, is slowly getting to his feet. Nayr is BEGGING for a tag at this point while SYB is protesting. Blitz crawls for the corner as SYB backs up to sic Skurge on what's left of Blitz. Before Blitz can make that last lunge for his corner Skurge has him by the ankle! Blitz tries to get his other foot under him as Skurge turns him around and flattens him with a clothesline. He covers Blitz and spits in Nayr's direction, infuriating the Paladin! Nayr climbs through the ropes but Barros pushes him back, leaving Skurge draped over Blitz for what could have been a 10-count. The little warrior finally kicks out, and Skurge is livid! He pushes to his feet and reaches for Barros, forgetting about Blitz for the few seconds Blitz needed to finally HOT TAG TO THE PALADIN! Crowd erupts as Nayr hits the corner and lands a perfect MISSLE DROPKICK OVER THE REFEREE TO SKURGE! Nayr keeps moving as he rolls to his feet, bounces off the ropes and takes Skurge's legs out from under him! Skurge tries to stand and gets chop blocked! Skurge is screaming and cussing at this point as Nayr hits a corner, but before he can leap Skurge CHARGES the ropes. Nayr leaps over Skurge, somersaults (And STICKS the landing!) and gets Skurge on another chop block as he backs up. Nayr tags Blitz but climbs the corner first. Skurge is staggering to his feet, and just in time to take DDT OF WIND +3! Skurge is positioned perfectly to as Blitz follows up with a BLITZ FLIP! Nayr leaps in SYB's direction and hits a DRIVER OF A THOUSAND TRUTHS OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR! SYB is NOT getting up from THAT as Blitz covers for the win!
WINNERS in 9:17 Nayr and Blitz

FIREWOMAN vs. STANK vs. THE DEAD

Arena goes black, fog begins to rise and Smashing Pumpkin’s Doomsday Clock fills the night. Through the fog and under the black light out steps The Dead…The Dead looks around the arena, raises him arms once in the air and runs down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope bouncing to his feet and up on to the far turnbuckle…The strobe lights begin, two load explosions pop with red flames and Nonpoint’s “Skin ” begins as Stank charges out of the back and down the ramp…Stank slides into the ring and steps right up to The Dead and putting his finger in his chest…Huge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and The Cult’s "Firewoman” blares out as Firewoman races down the ramp to join the party already in progress.

Stank waste no time hitting The Dead with a stiff right, The Dead staggers right a right by Firewoman…back to Stank, back to Firewoman and then doing a Flair flop…Fire looks at Stank, shrugs her shoulders and hits Stank with a clothesline. Fire grabs TD by his hair to help him to his feet and connects with a swinging neck breaker…she regains her feet turns around and sees Stank as he shrugs his shoulders and returns the clothesline to her. Stank then turns to TD and standing over him drops a knee to the head. Stank stands up and finds Firewoman waiting for him. She gives him a chop to the chest and he trades chops with her backing her into the far corner. Stank gains the upper hand and gives her 3 quick shoulder blocks to the stomach. Fire is doubled over in the corner, Stank steps to the second rope and begins to hit her…the crowd joins the count…..2….3…..4….5… The Dead grabs Stank and delivers a belly to back suplex off the second rope.

The Dead steps over Stank and proceeds to put Stank into his Deathlock sharpshooter, he clinches it in and Stank reaches out for the ropes…Just out of reach…Stank shakes his head and screams…TD cranks it on and then Firewoman hits TD with a big boot to the head. Stank crawls out of the ring and begins to bend and flex his leg trying to get blood flowing back into the leg…Fire meanwhile grabs TD to pull him up but he comes up with a thumb to her eye…Fire wheels away holding her eye and stumbling away…TD follows her and hits her with a bulldog. He then follows it up with a front chancery. Fire is too close to the ropes and the ref calls for a break….1…..2…..3 and TD breaks the hold.

The Dead grabs Fire and pulls her up, Irish whips to the ropes and sets for a backdrop but he sets too soon and she leapfrogs him and bounces off the far ropes and catches TD with a Hurricanrana and grabs his legs for a pin…1…2…and Stank breaks up the count.

Stank brings Fire up and proceeds to pop off a pump handle slam. Stank goes for his own pin…1…2…and TD there for the save. Stank rolls off Fire and quickly regains his feet. TD goes for a clothesline but Stank ducks it and sets for TD, The Dead bounces off the ropes and into a sidewalk slam. Stank goes for another pin only to have this one broken up by Fire. Fire grabs Stank and whips into the corner…she flips and does a handstand into a flying elbow that catches Stank and drives him into the corner. Stank crumbles in the corner and Fire climbs to the second rope and drops down to deliver a driving drop kick ala’ Jeff Hardy. Fire regains her feet, standing over Stank she is quickly caught in a schoolboy roll-up by TD…1…2…and she kicks out. TD pulls her up and shoots her into the corner where she hits Stank. TD follows her in with a Stinger splash. Fire falls to the mat, and Stank falls face first onto Fire’s crotch. OHHH that’s gotta hurt, Fire is grabbing herself and rocking in pain.

TD Picks up Stank and pulls his up to the top rope. TD is attempting a super plex off the top rope. Fire has recovered enough and she races over to the corner and as TD superplexes Stank off the top rope Fire catches TD with a sit down power bomb…Stank is down, TD is down and Fire is going up to the top of the turnbuckle…she hits her Firesault on Stank…oh she nails him, She goes for the cover, The Dead jumps on top of her and the ref counts….1….2….3 ….oh The Dead wins!

He stole that one…he is up and heading up the ramp. Looking back he is pointing at Stank and laughing. Fire is on her knees in the middle of the ring trying to figure out what just happened. Stank is at the ropes shaking them, yelling at The Dead and inviting him back to the ring…
WINNER in 18:32 - The Dead

THE AMNESIAC vs. CONCRETE TG

Concrete TG is lead to the ring by the rest of The Heroes Guild, but they all head to the back as CTG chooses to eliminate the temptation for outside interference. The Amnesiac makes his way out next. With both men in the ring, Hightower calls for the bell and we get underway!

We start with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and CTG immediately gets control of Amnesiac's left arm, pulling it behind for a hammerlock. Amnesiac is able to spin out, but CTG connects with a small kick to the butt to let Amnesiac know he's still in control. Both men lock-up again, and CTG goes right back to the hammerlock. Amnesiac backs them towards the corner, turning them around and kicking off the turnbuckle, sending both men back. They roll through, and end up back on their feet--CTG once again holding Amnesiac in a hammerlock! Amnesiac, frustrated, starts throwing elbows back at CTG. CTG immediately knows what's going on, and ducks out of the way. Amnesiac rears back for one last big elbow, which CTG ducks again, turning Amnesiac around. This allows CTG to lift Amnesiac up for a body slam, with the arm still in hammerlock position. With Amnesiac down on the mat--arm trapped behind his back--CTG hits the ropes and drops a knee to the trapped arm! As The Amnesiac screams in pain, CTG comes off the ropes and lands a second knee to the trapped arm!

CTG picks Amnesiac up, immediately barring the already hurting arm. Hightower asks, but Amnesiac refuses to quit. Amnesiac makes it to his feet, pushing CTG into the ropes, where Hightower starts the 5-count. CTG breaks (of course!), and Amnesiac immediately connects with a stiff forearm to the jaw. Amnesiac immediately sends CTG to the ropes, rebounding off of the opposite ropes himself. CTG immediately grabs the top rope to stop his momentum, but Amnesiac has other ideas. Amnesiac adjusts to CTG's stopping, charging right at his heroic opponent--connecting with a clothesline that takes both men over the top!

Hightower starts the count, but both men are up before he gets to ten. Amnesiac is in a little better shape, grabbing CTG and throwing him shoulder first into the ring steps! He then sets up to whip CTG into the railing, but CTG reverses and Amnesiac goes back first into the railing. CTG charges...and connects with a SPEAR THROUGH THE RAILING! Both men are down as Hightower is down to check on them.

They finally rise to their feet, and CTG is slowly pulling Amnesiac towards the ring. They get back to ringside, and Amnesiac punches CTG in the stomach. CTG fights back with forearms to the head, and rolls Amnesiac into the ring. CTG climbs to the apron, and ascends the ropes. CTG comes off with a big splash, and misses!

Amnesiac capitalizes, putting CTG in position for the Pure Amnesia. CTG reverses, setting Amnesiac up for the Long Arm of the Law. He lifts, but Amnesiac spins out, turns CTG around, and connects with Pure Amnesia! 1...2...3!
WINNER in 14:45 - The Amnesiac

THIM REYNOLDS vs. SPIN HANSEN vs. DH MAGNUSSON vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY – Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot at the Pay Per View

Seamus is introduced first, but barely makes it to the top of the ramp before he's PEARL HARBORED by Reynolds, who makes his presence felt with a thundering forearm to the back of Seamus' head. The shot sends Seamus staggering down the ramp to the ringside area and Reynolds follows in close pursuit, charging and smashing the big man into the apron with a stinger splash! Seamus begins to buckle but doesn't quite go down, and Reynolds begins to stuff him into the ring, stopping only when the sounds of Alcohaulin' Ass blare across the arena, and Spin Hansen charges down the ring, tossing an empty bottle of Jaegermiester over his shoulder and launching at Reynolds! Reynolds is up to the challenge, and the two meet in mid-tackle, exchanging a blistering flurry of punches to the sides of each others heads. Hansen gets the upper hand, taking over with a series of huge overhand rights that stagger Reynolds back and into the waiting arms of McNasty, who hauls him headfirst into the ring just as "Calm Before the Storm" hits! Hansen spins around (no pun intended) to the entrance ramp screaming for Magnusson, as Referee Davis Hightower -maybe sensing this is a close as he'll get a chance to- calls for the bell. Hansen continues to scream for Magnusson, not seeing his former tag team partner hopping the far side rail and BLASTING him with a boomerang clothesline! Magnusson drops on top of him hammering him down with elbows to the back of the head, as McNasty launches Reynolds into the turnbuckle, following him close behind with a heavy elbow, before setting up the barrage! On the outside, Magnusson picks up Hansen and looks for a whip into the barricade only to have it reversed by Hansen , who follows up with running clothesline that takes both men up and over into the fans! Hightower is calling for them to get to the ringside area, but neither man seems all that interesting in listening as they continue their wild brawl to the back!

Back in the ring, a missed running boot from Seamus has given Reynolds the upper hand and he's capitalizing with a boot choke. Hightower finally turns his attention to the two men in the ring, quickly reaching a four-count on Reynolds before he steps back. Hightower pushes Reynolds towards the center the ring, reminding him that choking is a no-no as Seamus pulls himself back to his feet, back to the ring. Reynolds goes back on the offensive, grabbing Seamus and ramming his face into the turnbuckle as Seamus seems to be grabbing at his own right hand. Reynolds sees his chance and loads up McNasty for a huge backdrop suplex, but at the midway point Seamus nails him right to the top of the head! Reynolds drops like a stone, and he looks like he's been knocked out as Seamus drops on top of him! Hightower drops down to make the count, and Reynolds isn't even moving!

1..
2...
3!

WINNER of the upcoming ONSLAUGHT TITLE MATCH in 5:32 - SEAMUS McNASTY!

After the bell, Seamus rolls out the ring quickly and Hightower checks on the unconscious Reynolds he swings his hand out to the crowd, who go wild as a shower of what look like Half-Dollars fly out into the stands! Seamus take a moment to tap his temple to his fans before making the universal "Me Wanty Belt" gesture.





DAVIN MORELAND vs. BRYCE LARSON

There's a definite buzz in the crowd as the particulars for our next match are introduced. “War Machine” blasts over the sound system, and "The King of the Indies" Bryce “The Bad Ass Dragon” Larson makes his way down the ramp. The Heroes Guild marks (a.k.a. 7-year-olds) are cheering their heads off, but there is a definite sentiment of displeasure. There's a decent amount of boos raining down, no doubt due to the match between these two last week. “Notorious” replaces the music on the PA, and Davin Moreland, with Samantha Darling, appears on the top of the ramp. The ostentatious pyro goes off and they start to head down to the ring, but Davin whispers something to Samantha and she stays on the ramp. Davin heads down alone with an odd look on his face and...are those some cheers? That's weird. That segment of the crowd clearly believes Davin Moreland's side of the story. Interesting. Davin climbs into the ring quietly and gets into a corner. Larson is across the ring just seething and is waiting for the bell. Barros has a wary look on his face, but he calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

As soon as the bell rings, Davin rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp shaking his head. Apparently, he's not interested in wrestling Larson tonight. He turns back toward the ring and gives the old “wave-off” gesture. Larson is dumbfounded for a minute and watches Davin back his way up the stairs. By the time he realizes what's going on, he thinks about going to chase after him, but by now, Barros' faster than normal count is already at 8. Larson just rests against the top rope, staring daggers at Davin as he and Samantha head to the back.
WINNER by COUNTOUT in :10..."The King of the Indies" Bryce “The Bad Ass Dragon” Larson


MATTE vs. CHRIS EVANS – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

“The Trooper” by the Iron Maiden begins to play and the challenger Chris Evans makes his way down into the ring. He gets into the ring and looks focused to take the OOWF Onslaught Championship. He’s in the ring, looking up the aisle for Matte when there is a slight pop in the crowd as Alexis Darling walks down the side of the ramp and makes her way down to ringside. She pushes some lackey out of his chair and takes a seat just as Nirvana’s “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” begins to play. Matte drags the OOWF Onslaught belt alongside himself as he holds his head down. He slides in and under the bottom rope and tries to crawl into his corner but OOWF Official Mel Creech calls him to the center of the ring. He goes over the Onslaught Rules for both competitors. He sends both guys to a neutral corner and we are ready to get this one underway.

The bell rings and Matte tries to get a quick jump on Evans by going for a single leg, but CE is able to avoid it and he goes for an elbow to the back of Matte’s head. Matte is able to roll out of the way though and he gets back to a vertical base and goes for a stomp, but Evans is too quick and he rolls behind Matte and takes him down with a schoolboy. Creech gets down to count, but Matte rolls through before he can even get a one count. And before Chris can get back up, Matte hits a running knee and Evans’ head slams back onto the canvas. And now Matte begins his offense; his slow, methodical offense to keep Evans speed and variety of offense quelled. Matte seems to be focusing on the lower back and legs in order to keep Evans grounded. Because a wise man once said, a tree cannot stand without roots and Matte looks like he’s going to test that theory tonight. Matte whips Chris hard into the corner but CE catches him coming in when he raises both knees. This might be the opportunity Evans needed to change the momentum of this match. Evans begins to take advantage with his creative, indytastic move set. He’s got Matte off balanced and he takes him off his feet with a STANDING HURRICANRANA. Matte flies all the way through and Evans reaches back and he hooks the leg…

1…
2…

Matte kicks out at 2 and a half and Chris is a little frustrated, but he stays on the offensive. CE picks up Matte off the mat and lifts him up and puts him right back down with a POWERBOMB. But Evans doesn’t let go; it looks like he’s going for the CHAIN OF OLYMPUS. He goes to get Matte up for the second power bomb, but Matte starts punching away and Evans has to let go. And as Matte falls off his shoulders, he grabs CE by the back of the head and pulls him down to the mat with a FACEPLANT. Now it is Matte’s turn to go on the attack as he takes Evans up and then right back down with a DOCTOR BOMB. He gets down and he makes the cover and Creech follows him down…

One…
Two…
Th…

No, Chris gets his shoulder up. Matte doesn’t let up though as he picks Evans and right back down with a SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP. But Matte doesn’t let go as he rolls through and he takes CE with him and lifts him with a vertical suplex and all the way back down. And again Matte doesn’t let as he rolls over and he picks Evans up for another suplex, but this time he just releases him and CE crashes to the mat. And now Matte follows it up and goes to lock in a KOJI CLUTCH. He gets it locked in, but Evans is twisting and turning and trying to fight over it. Matte is keeping up with him though and he’s got it worked in tight. Chris looks like he’s fading, but he takes one last burst and spins through and he gets Matte’s shoulders on the mat…

1…
2…
Matte has no choice but to let go of the Koji Clutch to avoid being pinned. He gets back to his feet and drags Evans with him, but Evans spins behind and he lifts Matte up on his shoulders; POSEIDON’S REVENGE with a bridge…

1…
2…
Matte gets a shoulder up, but just barely. And now it’s Evans turn to go on the offense, but he can’t maintain it too long as Matte fights back and now they are trading moves in the center of the ring. Body slams, suplexes, and every other toss imaginable are being attempted by these guys. Finally Evans gets Matte on the mat and he runs to the ropes and he leaps up and back with a LIONSAULT, but there’s no one home as Matte gets out of the way. That had to hurt and Matte is stalking CE now and waiting for him to get to his feet. Once Evans is up, Matte plants a kick right to his stomach and he lifts him up…DEATH VALLEY DRIVER. But Matte isn’t done as he lifts Evans back up by the hair and it looks like he’s calling the finish, but Evans still has a little fight as he starts punching away. Matte whips Evans to the ropes, but Evans jumps up and leaps off…ICARUS STRIKE and Matte is staggered and he stumbles back. Evans looks to follow up with his ICARUS WINGS, but Matte blocks it and he gets behind Evans and he nails him with a couple of hard elbows and now Evans is in trouble…too much trouble as he turns around and walks right into a kick to the stomach and it’s quickly followed up with the NEVERMIND DDT. And that’s all she wrote as Creech gets down to make the count…

One…
Two…
Three!

And the fat lady has sung tonight on Chris Evans chance to become the OOWF Onslaught Champion.
WINNER in 14:57 and still OOWF Onslaught Champion, MATTE!

THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

kz enter the arena first to a huge chorus of boos. Moose is carrying his trusty barbed wire bat and Williams is taping his fists as they make their way to the ring. They warm up briefly and turn to face the aisle as “Thunderstruck” hits. Instead of Empty Team, however, Wally B King comes out carrying the tag team titles. Moose and Williams immediately turn around, and are blindsided by OBJ and Gator. Referee Mel Creech, handpicked for this match, calls for the bell and waves the beer vendor over.

OBJ levels Moose with a forearm, then rolls him to his feet and shoves him into the corner. He rocks Moose with European uppercuts and slings him across the ring. Moose reverses and follows him into the corner, but OBJ drops out of the way and Moose hits the corner hard. He staggers back, and we hear something break as OBJ punches him square in the face before pitching him over the ropes to the floor. OBJ turns around as Gator sends Williams across the ring. OBJ hoists him up and turns around as Gator sprints towards him. 3-D! OBJ covers, but Moose drags him off to the outside.

Gator pounces on Williams and starts throwing punches. Williams covers up and manages to throw him off. Gator rolls to his feet and tries for a running neck breaker, but Williams grabs the ropes to block. Gator is off balance, and Williams drives a shoulder into his stomach, then hits him with a slingshot suplex. He hits the ropes and drives a knee into Gator's temple. He flips him over and tries for the STF, but Gator kicks him off.

Outside the ring, OBJ and Moose exchange punches. Moose slips one and hits a drop toehold that sends OBJ into the ring steps. Moose jumps onto the apron, and stomps OBJ's face into the steel. Mel comes over to investigate, and Moose stands on OBJ's head to argue with him as blood starts to drip off the steps. Gator sees this out of the corner of his eye, staggers Williams with a kick, and sprints across the ring, spearing Moose and sending him flying into the ringside barrier. Moose gets up clutching his ribs, then snarls and grabs the barbed wire bat as he returns to the ring. Mel points out that even he's not that lenient, but while he's distracted Williams catches Gator from behind with a low blow. He scoops Gator up and drops him face-first on the turnbuckle, catching him before he falls and locking in a standing half-nelson as Moose slides in the ring. Moose hits the heart punch, and Williams snaps Gator over with a suplex. He bridges, but OBJ dives in to break it up just before the three.

Moose sees the blood coating OBJ's face and reacts like, well, Moose seeing blood. He launches himself at OBJ and starts tearing at the wounds on his forehead. Williams pulls Moose off, drags OBJ to his feet, and plants him with a DDT. Kz set up a tandem suplex, but Gator clips Williams' knee, taking him down and allowing OBJ to reverse the suplex on Moose. Gator grabs Williams and drags him onto the apron and tries for a pile driver onto the floor, but Williams blocks and fights free. Gator traps Williams' arms and nails him with a headbutt, then hits a Belly-to-belly suplex through the Scandinavian announce table!

Inside the ring, OBJ scoops and slams Moose, and kicks him in the head before going to the corner and removing the middle turnbuckle pad. As he turns around, Moose rolls to his feet and into a flying clothesline. OBJ staggers, but doesn't go down. Moose takes a wild swing but OBJ ducks, grabbing Moose and dropping him with a flapjack on the exposed turnbuckle. As blood pours from Moose's head, OBJ drags him to the middle of the ring and covers, but Moose kicks out at two. OBJ grabs Moose in a choke and bounces his head off the mat, then sits him up. He goes to the ropes and hits a diving forearm that drives Moose's head into the mat. Instead of covering, he flips him over and locks on the Croc Hunter. Moose struggles, spraying Creech with blood. Eventually, he manages to drag himself to the ropes to force the break.

In the remains of the announce table, Gator is the first to stir. He makes it to his knees, grabs a monitor, and smashes it into Williams' head. Blood starts to flow, and an unfortunate close-up shows the glass embedded in his forehead. Gator staggers to his feet and stumbles toward the ring. He sees Williams struggling to his feet and apparently he's been watching Spin's old matches, as he grabs Sven, the Scandinavian color commentator, and pitches him at Williams. Creech has something to say about this, but Wally comes over to discuss discounts and distracts his attention. Williams starts to get up again and Gator looks around for a weapon and spots the barbed wire bat. He grabs it and takes a wild swing, but Williams drops out of the way and comes up with a piece of broken table. He jabs Gator in the stomach and DDT's him onto the bat, and now all four men are bleeding heavily. As Gator tries to pry the wire out of his head, Williams stomps his head back into the wreckage and slides into the ring.

Moose sees Williams coming and drops to the mat, allowing him to level OBJ with the Boomerang. kz plant OBJ with a tandem choke slam, and Williams heads to the apron. Moose drags OBJ to his feet and lifts him for a wheelbarrow suplex and Williams springboards off the top rope mid-move and turns it into a Canadian Destroyer! OBJ is dead! Williams makes the cover and Creech slides in to count One...Two...Thr – Gator breaks it up with a Swanton!

Moose lets out a scream of rage and launches himself at Gator – who rolls to his feet and hits him with a clothesline – with the barbed wire wrapped around his arm! Mel is busy checking on OBJ of course, and misses this completely. Moose rolls on the mat struggling to breathe, and Gator drags Williams to the corner and starts smashing his face into the exposed turnbuckle. He pulls Williams to his feet and hits the chomp! Williams is dead! Gator makes the cover, and Creech counts one...two...thr-Moose drags Gator off!

Gator, frustration etched on his face, gets slowly to his feet. He turns to Moose, who catches him with a low blow before stumbling to his feet as well. Moose throws a punch, but Gator ducks and hits an atomic drop. He ducks past Moose and hits the ropes as OBJ lumbers up from behind. Call of the Wild! Moose hits the mat and OBJ scoops up his own partner, driving him into Moose with an inverted power bomb. OBJ collapses to the mat as Creech counts One...Two...Williams dives onto Gator but gets there just after Mel counts Three.
WINNERS and still OOWF Tag Team Champions, in 16:32, Empty Team.

After the match: Absolutely nothing. Nobody's moving except Mel, who's waving frantically for another drink. EMT's and officials hit the ring and clear the four men out, and the ring crew tries to mop up the blood before the next match.

TYTAN vs. CHRIS COLE – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

Chris Cole enters the arena first, to “Master of Puppets.” He air-guitars down the ramp and gets into the ring, but can’t think of anything particularly witty or snarky to say about the town, having already exhausted every conceivable joke about Springfield by now. He poses in the ring, as the lights dim, and the sound of typing can be heard, followed by the voice of Diana Podvod saying “Perfection can be created…Ultimo, Inc. presents Tytan, The Wrestling Prototype for the 21st Century.” I wonder where Diana is these days? It doesn’t matter now though, as “The Fight Inside” fires up. Tytan rises up from under the stage, with overproduced pyro, and then makes his way to the ring, the Intercontinental Championship belt over his shoulder, not around his waist, where it belongs, followed by Jonathan Steele. Tytan gets in the ring and gives the belt to Steele. He gets nose to nose with Cole, the ref calls for the bell, and we’re off.

Cole and Tytan stand there for a while. Cole is smiling a smirky smile, and Tytan is looking down doing his best Drago impression. Enough time passes for the crowd to start up a “Boring” chant, which seems to wake up Tytan. He shoves Cole hard, so that he falls backwards, all the way into the ropes. Cole stands, steadies himself, smirks and walks up to Tytan. He stands for a moment, and hits a big right to the jaw of Tytan. The referee reminds Cole of the ‘no closed fist’ rule. Tytan turns back from where he was rubbing his jaw and grabs Cole. He picks him up, and holds him in a bear hug as he makes the slow walk to the corner. He picks up speed as he heads that direction and runs Cole spine first into the post. He sets him on his feet and keeps pressing his spine into the post, and his head backwards. The referee begins the count, and Tytan breaks it at 4.5, stepping back. Cole steps away from the post, rubbing his back, and Tytan lands an unexpected left that nearly spins Cole around. He grabs Cole’s arm and whips him into the far corner, then follows him in for a splash. He backs up, then runs in, but this time, Cole is ready and gets Tytan with an elbow. Tytan staggers back, and Cole runs forward, and grabs him for a belly-to-back suplex. Cole makes a quick cover, but Tytan is up at one. Cole “helps” Tytan up by grabbing his head under the chin, and, with a couple of European uppercuts for good measure, gets Tytan up and holds….holds….holds….for a seriously delayed vertical suplex. Tytan hits the mat with a huge thud. Cole makes the cover one…two…no, as Tytan gets the shoulder up. Cole sits back on his heels in disbelief. He glares at the referee, then gets to his feet as Tytan gets to his. Cole grabs Tytan’s arm and whips him again into the ropes, as he goes backwards to the rope across from him. But instead of impelling himself forward, he gets hung up by Steele, who grabs Cole’s foot. Cole turns around to swing at Steele, and the referee comes over to explain the rules to Steele. This gives Tytan his opening. He comes up behind Cole. Cole turns around and eats a chemically engineered super kick. Cole is down, and Tytan locks on the Corporate Red Tape. He locks it in hard. Cole reaches towards the ropes but he’s not close enough. The referee asks Cole if he’s done, and Cole growls “No” through clenched teeth.

Tytan has Cole right where he wants him, and starts to crank the hold more, when there is an outburst from the crowd. Everyone seems to be looking up, so Tytan does the same. A figure in black, with black wings, is descending from the rafters on a wire, Owen-style. Well, not quite Owen-style, as the figure lands in the middle of the ring, knocking the referee over. Ref bump! The referee goes down! Tytan releases the hold, and goes after the figure, who is much shorter than he is, and is very obviously female. Unfortunately, she’s wearing a mask, so we have no idea who it is! Tytan goes after her, and she leaps up to sit on the top turnbuckle. The mask hides most of her face, but her mouth is visible, and there’s an evil smile. Tytan lunges…and he’s met with a huge flash of flame, as the figure in black launches a FIREBALL right at his face. Tytan falls backwards, his hands to his face. The figure in black signals, stands on the turnbuckle, and “flies” upward into the rafters.

Everyone is down in the ring. Cole comes to first and surveys the scene. He grabs the referee and shakes him to bring him back to consciousness. Cole goes over to Tytan, picks him up, and hits The Headliner! He makes the pin and we are done. One…Two…Three!
WINNER in 21:15 and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion – “The Main Event” Chris Cole

POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

It's time for the main event, and the crowd can't wait for this one. A white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing hear dis ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and The Darlings take a step onto the ramp. They don’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on him and ”Princes of the Universe” starts to play. Apparently the slo-mo machine is broken tonight, because we're not getting that part of the entrance. Nor is Alexander Darling wearing his gay fuzzy boots. No, instead he's just got a slight smirk on his face...a knowing smirk maybe? He climbs into the ring in a no-nonsense manner and just turns around and faces the ramp. “Misera Cantare” fires up, and the crowd goes nuts as Poe appears with Selena at the top of the ramp. As his pyro goes off, Poe decides to hold his title with both hands above his head. The crowd responds as Poe is clearly making a statement. Poe and Selena slowly walk down to ringside. Poe says something to Selena on the outside and she stays behind as Poe climbs into the ring. He stares down Darling as he hands his belt to OOWF Senior Referee Davis Hightower. Hightower holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell.....WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Poe stomps over near Darling and looks for the tie-up, but Alexander, in true Alexander Darling fashion, is really ratcheting up the trash talk. It's hard to make out, but the discussion seems to be centered around tapping. Now Poe starts to give back as good as he gets, and both men are right in front of each other, just yapping away. Poe definitely calls Darling “Boy” here, but that's immediately followed by a lewd comment concerning Selena coming from the other direction. Poe immediately snarls and loads up with a big right hand, but Darling knew it was coming, and delivers a stiff kick to Poe's exposed ribs. As Poe bends to try to cover them, Darling hammers Poe with a sharp kick to the temple, which knocks the big man over. Poe struggles to get back to his knees, and Darling runs the far ropes. By the time Poe is to his knees, Darling is right there to nail Poe with a SHINING WIZARD, and Poe flops backward. Darling immediately covers. 1..2...NO! Poe rolled the shoulder just in time, but Darling isn't worried about that, as he just starts landing right hands to Poe's head. Poe's beaten to his back. Darling hits the near ropes, and hits a 450 SPLASH on Poe. 1..2..No, and Poe kicked out that time. Poe struggles to the ropes to pull himself up, but Darling lines him up for a Chop Block. Darling backs up a few steps and hits another Chop Block on the other leg. Darling scoots back looking for the trifecta, but this time Poe is able to catch Darling on his shoulder and toss him out of the ring. Darling falls awkwardly on the outside.

Poe seemed to expend a lot of energy with that move and again has to try to pull himself up by the ropes. Darling is starting to stir on the outside. Poe gets to his feet, and simultaneously faceplants onto the mat. It seems Darling grabbed Poe's ankles from the outside, and he's dragged him out to the outside. Darling looks like he wants to whale away with punches, but Poe blocks Darling's right hand, and starts unleashing right hands of his own. Darling stumbles backward. Poe growls and just SPEARS him right into the barrier! Darling is nearly crumpled by that. This seems to rally Poe a bit, and he gets to his feet and stands over Darling. His look can only be described as “contempt”. He grabs Darling and pulls him up. He hits a PILEDRIVER on the floor! Poe's not done, and he LAWN DARTS Darling into the Steel Steps, which knocks them over. Darling comes up bloody, and that's what Poe seems to be out for as he simply starts ramming Darling's head into the remaining step. Darling looks out of it. Poe isn't taking any chances, and he goes looking for a Steel Chair. While he's over there, Alexis Darling comes over and appears to be checking on her brother. Poe turns around and sees this, and Poe leers at Alexis and starts to walk toward her. As he passes by Darling, Darling, as if by magic, gets off the step and is holding his Sledgehammer! Selena sees this from across the floor and screams. Poe instinctually turns around, and eats a full swung Sledgehammer to the ribs!

Not to be outdone, as Poe is falling, he manages to catch Darling full-on with the Steel Chair! Darling drops like he's been shot. Meanwhile, Alexis is under the ring trying to dig out every weapon she can find, and is creating a nice little pile out on the floor. Poe has recovered from his sledgehammer shot and looks over at Alexis once again. She just starts repeating “stay away from me”. Poe apparently thinks this is funny, because now he has the knowing smirk. Just when he's almost within reaching distance, he gets blistered from behind with a Kendo Stick! Darling dove from where he was and lunged out to get that one shot in, and the Kendo Stick splintered. Darling crawls over to the Pile O' Toys to try to find a weapon that's in one piece. He selects a Baseball Bat, and as Darling stands, he sees Poe standing across holding a Metal Pipe. They each take a step toward each other and both swing, each landing a solid rib shot. Both men hit a simultaneous rub shot going back the other way, but still neither refuses to fall down! The crowd is going crazy! Both men load up one more time and land a same-time shot to the head! Both collapse to the mat and there's blood coming from both of their skulls now. Hightower stopped counting like an hour ago.
YOUR DECISION in 9:59 by DOUBLE COUNTOUT...NO CONTEST!

Post-match, the medics are rushed to ringside, and Russ talks in his serious voice. Neither man is responsive as they're wheeled up the ramp, with each of their valets obviously worried by their sides.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the MADNESS V PPV! Live, March 29th, from Springfield, Oregon! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! April 1st from Springfield, California

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Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

First Class New York Escorts. That is a great name for a future stable...of whooooores!!!

Sorry they're late, work was busy this week


OOWF Rankings for 03/18/09[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe (+8, 18-10)
1. Tytan – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+5, 17-12)
2. Matte – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-1, 6-7)
3. LD Williams (+7, 17-10)
4. Outback Jack (+7, 16-9)*
5. Firewoman (+6, 15-9)
6. Bryce Larson (+6, 15-9)
7. Stank (+5, 13-
8. Skurge (+4, 15-11)**
9. Moosehead Jack (+4, 14-10)
10. Nayr (+4, 12-
11. Chris Evans (+3, 7-4)
12. GatorBait (+3, 4-1)*
13. Davin Moreland (+2, 15-13)
14. The Amnesiac (+2, 14-12)**
15. SYB (+2, 14-12)**
16. Concrete TG (+1, 14-13)
17. Chris Cole (+1, 13-12)
18. The Dead (+1, 4-3)
19. Alexander Darling (E, 14-14)
20. Thim Reynolds (E, 2-2)
21. Blitz (-2, 5-7)
22. DH Magnusson (-3, 7-10)
23. Spin Hanson (-5, 7-12)
24. Seamus McNasty (-8, 8-16)
25. Damon Wrath (-20, 3-23)


*OOWF World Tag Team Champions
**OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions


World Tag Team Rankings[/u]
OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Team From Down Under (+4, 4-0)
1. Bryce Larson & Nayr (+3, 5-2)
2. IHOP (-1, 3-4)
3. KZ (NR)

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Colorado

STANK & SPIN HANSEN vs. DAMON WRATH & HI-VO SAKAMOTO

Angelo Barros is YOUR referee!

2/3 of Drink and Destroy smirk at Damon and Sakamoto hit the ring. Sakamoto offers to start, which Damon is more than happy to let his partner do. Hansen starts for his team, handing his partner some cash to get them some beers (this won't take long).

Sakamoto wants to lock up, and Spin obliges - shoving Sakamoto to the ropes. Sakamoto rebounds and is leveled with a clothesline. Spin stomps away, certainly enjoying his work. Damon tries to rally his teammate but Sakamoto can only twitch in response. Spin reaches back for Barros who warns him about using an official as a weapon. Hansen actually thinks about it a moment, but is interrupted by Sakamoto attempting a single-leg takedown, which gets a one-count. Hansen is about to swing at the ref when he hears Stank whistle to him. The beers are here! Stank takes a couple of sips before leaving both cups on the (STEEL) steps. Spin tags Stank in as Sakamoto staggers to Damon Wrath.

Wrath in now, dropping into a boxing stance. Stank smirks and mimics the gesture. Barros (futilely) asks them to open up the fists. The two of them trade punches, Spin coaching from his corner while he slams down his beer. Crowd really into this as both land a couple of blows. Cheers go to "oooh"s and "Ahh"s as Wrath lands a solid right cross to Stank. Stank shakes out his head, adjusts his jaw, and steps RIGHT up to Damon Wrath. Wrath turns to tag in Sakamoto but is grabbed by the back of the pants, spins him around and stuns him with the SHITFACED! Sakamoto hits the ring to help his partner, but is stalled by Spin! Sakamoto goes down to the SPINAL JUSTICE as Stank flattens Wrath with the STANK U. The count is academic.

WINNERS in 7:22 STank and Spin

After the match the two order more beer and grab seats by the Irish Announce table to watch the rest of the show.


CHRIS EVANS vs. THE DEAD

Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper” leads Chris Evans to the ring, looking supremely confident and ready for battle against his post mortem opponent. As Evans stands in the ring, The Dead makes his way out to Smashing Pumpkins’ Doomsday Clock.

Evans and Dead stand toe to toe during the ring introductions. The announcer leaves and the referee calls for the bell. The Dead immediately begins unloading with rights to Evans’ head, and Evans responds with rights of his own. Both men are throwing repeated punches at each other, neither letting up! They pause for a second, and The Dead gives Evans the “hit me” signal. Evans nails him, but The Dead is on his feet. Evans motions for Dead to hit him in return, and The Dead is happy to oblige! They trade rights once more, and then start pummeling each other simultaneously again! Evans finally ducks one of Dead's punches, going behind and catching him with a Half Nelson Suplex. Dead comes crashing down on the mat and rolls to the outside

The referee begins the count out, but as soon as Dead makes it to his feet, Evans comes flying over the top rope with a Tope Suicido to the floor! The crowd goes nuts and The Dead is down! Evans gets back in the ring and the count begins. The referee makes it to eight, but The Dead is getting to his feet, so Evans slides outside, throwing Dead back first into the guard rail. Evans sets Dead up against the guard rail in the corner of ringside, and charges from over 20 feet away. The Dead shakes a few cobwebs loose enough to sense Evans coming, ducks and backdrops him over the guard rail! Evans crashes through two rows of chairs and lands hard on the concrete floor!

The Dead grabs a chair and tosses it into the ring, following up by throwing a second chair in as well. Evans gets back to the railing, and Dead grabs him, throwing him into the ring, too. Evans decides he wants to have a wrestling match. He sends Dead across the ropes with an Irish Whip. On the rebound, he catches Dead, rolls through and comes up with a single leg crab! Dead tries to crawl for the ropes, but reaches a chair first. He tries to swat at Evans, but the referee grabs the chair, causing Evans to break the crab.

The Dead argues with the referee, and finally gets the chair back. He turns around to swing at Evans. Lionheart has a chair of his own, and he swings at Dead! Both men crack each other over the head with a chair at the same time! They're groggy, but neither is going down. Instead, they continue swinging wildly at each other with chairs! The referee has to choice but to call for the bell.
WINNER in 9:12 - NO CONTEST



KZ & SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER & THIM REYNOLDS

The Team From Down Under and Thim Reynolds enter the arena first. The looks on Outback Jack and Gatorbait's faces make it clear that Empty team is in the house, while Thim looks, well, about as angry as he usually does. Their opponents, kz and Seamus McNasty, storm to the ring, ignoring the ridicule of the crowd. There's no face off and no trash talking – as soon as the six men are in the ring they start throwing punches and referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell as he looks for a safe place to hide.

Outback Jack launches himself at Moose, tackling him to the mat and laying in with punches. Seamus comes off the ropes with a big boot to the head to break that up, but then gets speared into the corner by Thim. Gator drops Williams with a clothesline and joins Thim putting the boots to Seamus. They whip him across the ring, but Williams anchors him in a dosey-doe and sends him back into the corner with a double clothesline. Seamus grabs Thim, and Gator stumbles forward into a belly-to-belly suplex from Williams. Williams starts throwing left hands and Gator responds in kind until they spill out of the ring to the floor where Jack and Moose are already brawling.

Seamus attacks Thim in the corner with punches and kicks. He sends him to the opposite corner and follows him in with a knee to the stomach, then hoists him into a spinning power bomb. Seamus hops onto the second turnbuckle and drives a fist into Thim's head, but before he can think about a cover, OBJ hooks his leg and drags him to the outside. OBJ gets some shots in until Williams levels him from behind. Gator sprints over to help, but Moose stops him with a drop toehold into the ring steps. Moose searches under the ring and comes out with his barbed wire bat. He lines up a swing as Gator gets up, but Thim slingshots himself over the ropes and drops onto Moose, knocking the bat out of his hands and driving him to the floor.

Barros, meanwhile, starts a count when he sees Seamus on the outside, but stops when OBJ stuffs Williams under the ropes and follows him into the ring. Apparently he's using Mel Creech's rule book this evening. OBJ staggers Williams with punches and sends him to the ropes, hooking his arm and spinning him to the mat to hook on the Crocodile Hunter. Williams struggles, and finally drags himself to the ropes, but OBJ refuses to break the hold until Barros threatens to disqualify him. Jack lets go and immediately starts driving punches into the back of Williams' head.

Outside the ring, Moose and Thim are still fighting over the barbed wire bat. MHJ lets go, sending the bat into Thim's head, and follows with a kick to the stomach and a DDT onto the bat. As blood pools under Thim, Moose checks on Seamus, who is pummeling a bleeding Gator, and slides into the ring. He bounces off the ropes and hits a forearm to the back of OBJ's head, sending him throat-first into the middle rope. Moose goes to the corner and removes a turnbuckle pad as Williams slowly gets to his feet. Kz send OBJ to the ropes and lift him for a flapjack, but turn and drop him face-first onto the exposed turnbuckle before reversing his momentum and slamming him to the mat. Williams falls on him for the cover, but is knocked off by a brutal kick from Thim. Moose attacks, but Thim, blood streaming from a number of cuts on his face, catches him by the throat and spins in a full circle before slamming him to the mat. Thim catches Williams as he gets up and plants him with a Dominator.

Seamus sends Gator into the ring post and follows him with an elbow, but Gator drops out of the way and Seamus hits steel. Gator staggers him with a low blow, then pulls him off balance and bounces his head off the post. Gator grabs a chair and climbs onto the apron, which attracts Barros' attention. As he argues with the ref, Gator tosses the chair to Thim who uses it to brain first Moose, then Williams. Thim sees Seamus get up and tosses the chair at him, but Seamus sees it coming and punches it, sending it into Gator's back and knocking him off the apron.

Barros turns back to the ring and sees Thim making a cover on Williams. He counts, but Moose dives in to break it up just before three. Moose attacks with punches, but Thim brushes them off, grabbing Moose by the throat and driving him back to the corner. As he pummels Moose, Williams catches him from behind with a double axe handle, then traps him in a standing half-nelson. Moose winds up and hits the Heart punch, and Williams hits a suplex into a bridge. Barros, giving up on the idea of who's legal, counts one...two...thr- Outback Jack breaks it up with a kick to Williams' head. OBJ stomps on Williams until Moose blindsides him. Moose rocks OBJ with punches, then goes to the ropes for momentum, but Gator reaches in to trip him up. Seamus lunges at Gator, but he sidesteps, slamming Seamus' head into the apron before stuffing him into the ring. Gator climbs onto the apron as Moose gets up, driving a shoulder into his midsection. Williams sprints across the ring and leapfrogs Moose, flipping over the top rope and dragging Gator into a power bomb from the apron to the floor. Williams turns around and OBJ hits a baseball slide dropkick that takes him right out of the ring and drives Williams into the ringside barrier. OBJ lurches to his feet, and Moose leaps of the apron with an elbow to his bleeding forehead. Moose grabs OBJ before he can fall and drops him with a DDT.

Inside the ring, Seamus gets to his feet and Thim launches himself across the ring. Thim tries for the Neck Cracker, but as he gets behind him with the sleeper, Seamus grabs Thim's head and hits a stunner. Seamus rolls to his feet with a hand extended to catch his shillelagh, thrown by Williams. Williams climbs onto the apron, drawing Barros' attention, and allowing Seamus to paste Thim as he gets up. Gator drills Williams in the back with one of the tag belts, knocking him off the apron. Gator moves in, but Williams grabs his trunks and pulls him forward, driving his face into the barrier. Barros looks around and sees Seamus pull Thim to his feet. Seamus hits the Black and Tan and Barros slides in to count One...Two...OBJ dives into the ring, but Moose drags him out again...Three!
WINNERS, in 17:46, kz and Seamus McNasty.

After the match: kz and TTFDU ignore the bell and continue trying to kill each other, spraying the first several rows of fans with blood. Seamus tries to join in, but Thim, surprisingly still alive, drags him back into the ring. The brawl continues until security, both the OOWF's and Springfield's finest, flood the ring. They're soon joined by most of the locker room, who finally manage to separate the six men and drag them to the back.

DAVIN MORELAND vs. BRYCE LARSON

“War Machine” fires up, and the crowd gets to their feet to give “King of the Indies” Bryce “Bad-Ass Dragon” Larson a nice ovation. He nods politely to the crowd, and scoots into the ring in a no-nonsense fashion. He starts doing the CM Punk Wrist Warm-up thing in the corner as he waits for his opponent. “Notorious” fires up, and Davin Moreland appears at the top of the ramp with Samantha Darling. The ostentatious pyro goes off; and the boos from the crowd rain down from the top of the arena. Davin's in full douchebag-mode tonight, opting for the full four-corner pose before taking his place on the other end of the ring. A kiss for Samantha is good for some boos, and Fall River's Own Angelo Barros is trying his best to restrain a laugh. He sort of looks at both combatants, and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Trash talk, and LOTS of it coming from these two. They end up nose to nose, until Davin gets a smirk on his face. He briefly turns away, but BLASTS Larson with a SLAP OF DISRESPECT! Davin is vociferously continuing his verbal assault, his whole body moving as he's screaming at Larson. Larson snarls and tries to charge, but Davin just delivers a straight right hand to the chin, which knocks Larson on his ass. Barros mumbles something about a closed fist, but Davin just cuts his eyes at him, and Barros backs away. Davin GOOZLES Larson, and pulls him to his feet. He gets a crazed look in his eyes, and just starts SLAPPING Larson in the face and screams at him. A lot is indecipherable, but the mics do catch something about “You don't punk out Davin Moreland”. After 5 or 6 slaps, Davin, by the throat, HEAVES Larson into the corner. Davin follows in with a HUGE SPLASH. Davin backs into Larson in the corner, and starts HAMMERING Larson with BACK ELBOWS! Davin just stares down Barros, who, by directive, isn't supposed to stop the match, but he does ask Larson if he wants to quit. Larson declines. One more big elbow connects, and Larson is bleeding from his mouth. Davin easily scoops up Larson, and PRESS SLAMS HIM TO THE FLOOR. Davin gestures to Larson that he's #1 on the way down, and goes to the far turnbuckle to pose and declare his greatness to the crowd, and they shit on this, appropriately.

Barros counts and surprisingly gets to 6 before Larson crawls back in the ring. Davin, seemingly unaware of this development, doesn't see Larson coming. Larson sprints across the ring and Shelton Benjamins himself onto the second turnbuckle, and tries to German Suplex Davin off the top! Davin is able to hang on, kinda, but in what looks to be a botched spot, Davin falls off the top right onto Larson. Davin rolls to his knees with a look of disgust on his face, and Larson bounces to his feet. Larson runs over and kicks Davin in the temple, which seems to rock the big man. Larson tries for a Springboard Back Elbow, but it didn't look right, and seemed to miss Davin completely. Larson rolls to his feet, and he is SERIOUSLY pissed off. Davin tries to get to his feet, and Larson runs over to try a Shitty Jericho Bulldog, but as Larson has the hair and tries to drive Davin down, Davin doesn't GO down. He just snaps his head up as Larson lets go and starts holding the back of his neck. Davin GLARES at Larson and stomps over to Barros and gets in his face. Again, hard to hear, but it sounds something like “He's trying to kill me!” Larson is FUMING and stalks Davin. And, he ROLLS HIM UP! 1...2...NO! Davin kicks out and gets quickly to his feet. Larson tries for SHINOBI'S RAGE, but the second Superkick appeared to land VERY square, and Davin falls to the mat awkwardly.

Larson looks dumbfounded, but recovers quickly, and rolls into a SINGLE-LEG BOSTON CRAB! He's got it locked in, and Davin looks as though he's going to kick Larson off with the free leg, but instead makes a dive for the ropes to break the hold. Larson breaks and Davin stands up. As Larson charges back in, Davin stands underneath the first rope, and Barros holds him off. Davin beckons Barros over, and starts having a spirited discussion with him; including lots of pointing to Larson, and Barros encouraging Davin through gestures to calm down. He mouths something like “I'll talk to him” and goes over to Larson. After a moment, Larson starts yelling, beginning with “YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Another few seconds go by, and Barros starts pointing his finger at Larson, and then at the OOWF logo on his shirt. The crowd is wrestless, and starts a “BOR-ING!” chant. Larson definitely notices the chant, and says something that looks like “Fine, whatever” to Barros. Barros has Larson stay in the corner while he goes back over to Davin and talks to him again. Davin gets a resigned look about him and says something like “Ok” and goes to a neutral corner. Barros stands in between them, and gestures them to fight.

Larson is staring DAGGERS at Davin as he stomps out toward the middle of the ring. Davin looks...hesitant? They lock up, and Davin easily starts to shove the smaller Larson to the corner. Larson looks like he slips out for a Drop Toe Hold, but instead, it looks like he just tripped Davin, and Davin stumbles into the corner, smashing his face into the turnbuckle. Davin starts shaking his head. Larson is PISSED and he charges into the corner after Davin. Davin turns quickly and just catches Larson in midair. He's got him in a BEARHUG! This gins up the boos again. Larson doesn't sell it for an instant, and starts elbowing Davin in the head! Davin drops him, but quickly locks on a hammerlock! Larson slaps his shoulder twice (as required by law) and spins to reverse it. Davin has other ideas and locks on an ARMBAR! Larson does the kip up thing to reverse it, but before he can, Davin lets go and locks on a CHINLOCK and drives Larson to the mat. The crowd chants “THIS IS AW-FUL!”, but Davin simply shrugs his shoulders as if there's nothing else he can do. Via the Power of the Shaky Arm, Larson powers out of the hold and kicks Davin in the gut to break it. But, Davin immediately hits the mat and starts rolling around holding his stomach. Larson looks confused, and dives on Davin to cover. Before Barros can even start the count, Davin shoves Larson off of him. Davin scrambles to his feet, and Larson rushes him, but Davin locks in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH!

Larson is trying everything he can think of to try to break free, but it appears Davin really has it on. Barros appears to check on Larson, and Larson, in no uncertain terms, tells him to “Fuck Off”. After about 3 minutes of this, Larson reaches behind Davin's head, and intends to flip him over his head, but all it looked like was Davin doing a standing somersault and landing on the mat. The crowd is VERY unhappy, and expected much more than this tonight. Davin gets to his knees, and Larson takes off running and tries for the Harry, Ron & Hermoine, but before we get to Hermoine, Davin splats to the mat after what looks to be a super-hard Shining Wizard. Larson is simply seething and goes in for a cover. Davin kicks him off at 1. Larson is SEETHING and goes back over to him, but Davin Sweeps the Leg, and scrambles to his feet, and locks on a SURFBOARD HOLD! After 3 more full minutes of this happy horseshit, the crowd is out for blood. During this, and unbeknownst to Larson, Davin is shrugging his shoulders and gesturing down at Larson. He says something that looks like “Sorry, not my fault”. Finally, Barros taps Davin on the shoulder, and Davin nods. MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Davin hits the near ropes and DROPS AN ELBOW, but Larson MOVES! Springboard Moonsault from Larson! He hooks the leg, and Davin kicks out right at 2. Larson starts launching punches to Davin's face, and they look like they're connecting! After 3 or 4 punches, Davin GOOZLES Larson with BOTH HANDS, and gets to his feet. HEADBUTT draws blood right above Larson's eye! He then pulls Larson up...KHALI BOMB! Larson tries to scramble immediately to his feet as if nothing happened, drawing LOUD boos from the crowd. Davin spins him around by the shoulder...KICK-WHAM-DDT! A closeup on Larson shows his eyes look glazed over. Davin walks over to Barros and starts talking to him again, and soon after points to his wrist. Barros nods and points to Larson as he fixes the earpiece in his ear. Larson still appears out of it, as Davin pulls him up like a sack o' potatoes. He gets Larson up in Press Slam position...ELEVATED DIAMOND CUTTER! He waves Barros over as he flips Larson onto his back, grabs his legs, and LOCKS ON THE SHARPSHOOTER! Barros doesn't even check on Larson before he calls for the bell.
WINNER in 10:19 by SUBMISSION...Davin Moreland!

Davin gets right in Barros' face and starts pointing at Larson. Larson springs to his feet and gets in Barros' face too, saying something like “What the fuck was that about!” Barros tells Larson to “Get the fuck back to the locker room, before you try to kill someone else!” The fuck? Now Larson turns his attention on Davin, and gets in HIS face about something we can't really see. Eventually, Davin has enough, and just CLOCKS Larson with a Right Hook that nailed him in the temple. Larson collapses to the mat. Davin yells something to Samantha outside the ring, and she dutifully scoots into the ring with a mic.

DM: Rick. I need to see you in your office immediately.

With that, Davin drops the mic and walks up the ramp with Samantha to the strains of “Notorious” just as Larson starts to come to. Larson spots Barros leaning against the ropes just looking at him with disdain.

TYTAN vs. FIREWOMAN vs. CHRIS COLE – Non-Title Three Way Dance

The first chords of “Master of Puppets” hit the sound system and the “Main Event” Chris Cole steps out and walks down the ramp…about midway down he stops and begins doing windmill style air guitar strums a la Pete Townshend…after a few minutes he makes his way into the ring

The entranceway goes dark and we hear the sounds of a computer keyboard and the voice over. “Perfection can be created…Ultimo Inc. presents Tytan, The Wrestling Prototype for the 21st Century.” Big pyro hits and out steps Tytan but there is no Diana, there is no Ultimo Inc. One can only assume they are still suffering the effects of the Run DEA beat down from earlier this week…Tytan makes his way down to the ring and him and Cole meet in the center to begin jawing.

Huge pyro pops and the arena is bathed in red lights, the entrance ramp becomes a wall of flame and Tony Iommo’s “Flame On” Blares out from the speakers. Rising up in the middle of the flames stands Firewoman. She steps through the flames and races down the ramp…Both Tytan and Cole turn to her just in time to be greeted by a double clothesline. She bounces off the ropes and covers Tytan with a Lou Thesz press. She rains down lefts and rights on Tytan forgetting all about Chris Cole who reminds her with a boot to her head, over she goes and up charges Tytan only to be met with a drop kick to his chest before he can even get to his feet.

Cole turns to Fire only to be caught with a roundhouse to the face. Fire follows Cole to the mat with a knee drop and rolls through to her feet. Standing up she comes face to face with a grinning Tytan who grabs her and pops off a fall-away slam. Tytan reaches down to grab Firewoman and gives her a face-wash on his boot strings, he stands with only one foot on her back pushing her down and hitting a double bicep pose.

Cole bounces off the far ropes and catches Tytan with a bulldog driving him into the mat. Both Tytan and Fire have forgotten about Chris Cole and both have paid for it. Cole picks Tytan up and plants him with a brain-buster. Cole goes for a quick cover….1…..2 and gets a boot to the back from Fire to break it up. Fire lifts Chris up and Tytan rolls out of the ring and onto the arena floor. Fire Irish whips Cole into the ropes and catches him with Hurricarana that leaves Cole draped across the second rope. Fire bounces off the rope and hits him with a bronco buster across his back…wooo ride em ‘cowgirl. Tytan remembers he is in a match and clocks Fire in the face and for good measure grabs Cole by the head and bounces his neck across the rope. Tytan then attempts to enter the ring but is met by a baseball slide that knocks him back into the guardrail. Firewoman follows Tytan out and proceeds to deliver rights and lefts on Tytan’s head. Both fighters are going to toe to toe outside the ring…ref is counting…Cole bounds off the far rope and flies over the ropes with a suicide dive catching both and falling to the floor to join the heap…ref is still counting…4….5…6…

Fire is up, Cole is up …Cole slides into the ring, Fire starts to slide in but Tytan grabs her leg and pulls her out right to the floor face first… Tytan steps up onto the ring apron and delivers a monster leg drop onto Fire…hurting his hip as much as Fire’s head…Cole steps onto the apron, breaking the ref’s count and delivers a kick to Tytan’s chest leveling him…Fire is on the floor, Tytan is on the floor…Cole is climbing the turnbuckle…what in the hell does he think he is doing?

Cole stretches out his arms and performs a Senton splash on Tytan from the top of turnbuckle…OH MY GOD! Let the bodies hit the floor…it looks like a train wreck ringside…Tytan is holding his sides, Cole is holding his back…Fire is showing signs of life as she reaches out for the bottom rope to pull herself up…oh man she is bloodied. The arena floor has no give folks and it looks like Firewoman may have suffered a broken nose…she’s back in the ring, Cole is up and staggers back under the ropes but before he can get up Fire is on him stomping his hands and back of his head…she pulls him up to his knees and hits with a shining wizard. Cole is down, he may be out…Fire heads to the rope but Tytan grabs her boot…she goes down face first on that already damaged nose…Tytan is through the ropes and picks her up…Fire is going up, time for a Corporate Fallout…Cole hits Tytan with a chop block that brings him down and sends Fire tumbling out of ring.

Cole pulls Tytan up and into The Headliner…bam he nails it…Cole for the cover…1…2..Fire struggles to her feet and through the ropes….3….she just doesn’t get there in time…Chris Cole wins…
WINNER in 18:47 – Chris Cole

Fire Grabs Cole and throws him out of the ring, she looks down at Tytan and delivers a standing Firesault…she then stands over Tytan, wipes blood off her face and slaps Tytan on the face leaving a bloody handprint across his cheek. She then slides out of the ring and walks up the ramp…Cole stands beside the ring, Tytan lies in the middle of the ring…this is far from over.

THE HEROES GUILD vs. IHOP – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match

IHOP is announced first. Their music plays, and Dorothy Mantooth and Skurge and The Amnesiac come out to the top of the ramp. A few seconds later, we see Fezzik come out, wheeling SYB! SYB is propped up on a hand truck, wearing a mask like Hannibal Lecter. He is securely fastened, and looks around like a crazed animal. We also see he is wearing a large protective boot. Achilles injuries are a bitch. They get to the ring and unstrap SYB and Fezzik lifts him and sets him on the apron. The Amnesiac and Skurge play rock, paper, scissors to decide who starts, Skurge wins. Finally, The Heroes Guild is announced, and they make their way to the ring, sprinting past the fans, slapping hands along the way. The three slide under the bottom rope and head to the corners, holding their titles high in the air while the fans cheer. Finally, this one is underway, looks like Blitz will start things for The Heroes, the referee calls for the bell and we are ready to go. Blitz charges at Skurge and slips behind him and tries to take him to the mat, but Skurge grabs his arms and keeps his footing. Skurge throws a couple of elbows that stuns Blitz, then hits the ropes and charges, but Blitz takes him to the mat with a drop toe hold, kips to his feet, bounds off the ropes and catches Skurge with a drop kick to the face. Blitz pulls Skurge up and tags in Nayr, then sends Skurge to the ropes and drops to the mat, as Skurge steps over Blitz, Nayr catches him with a leg lariat. Nayr covers, but Skurge kicks out before one. Nayr pulls Skurge to his feet and hits a northern lights suplex, and tries another cover, but Skurge rolls his shoulder at two. Nayr gets to his feet and tags in Crete, and they wait for Skurge to get to his feet, then nail him with a double drop kick that sends Skurge across the ring and under the bottom rope to the floor. Skurge looks annoyed for a moment, then slides under the ropes and locks up with the waiting Crete. Skurge catches Crete with a forearm to the side of the head, then blisters his chest with several chops. Skurge sends Crete to the ropes and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline. Finally, Skurge makes the tag to The Amnesiac. TA comes into the ring and sends Crete to the ropes and elevates him in a press slam, then drops him, but catches him with a knee to the face! A modified GTS! Crete’s head snaps back and he staggers across the ring and falls between the ropes to the floor. Blitz and Nayr come over for a conference, and inside the ring The Amnesiac gets a running start and leaps over the top rope and crashes into all three members of The Heroes Guild, sending them to the floor. The Amnesiac is quickly to his feet, he grabs Crete and sends him back into the ring, then follows and covers, but Crete rolls his shoulder at two. The Amnesiac pulls Crete to his feet and hits a belly to back suplex, then tags Skurge in again. Skurge climbs to the top rope and tries a diving head butt, but Crete moves out of the way, and quickly gets to his feet. As Skurge gets to his knees, Crete bounds off the ropes and catches him with a shining wizard to the side of the head, then falls on Skurge for another two count. Crete pulls Skurge up and throws him into the Heroes corner and tags in Blitz. Blitz steps between the ropes, takes a few steps back and gets a running start and catches Skurge with a high knee to the face, then tries a bulldog our of the corner, but Skurge holds on, reverses it, and drops Blitz with a belly to back suplex. Blitz crawls to the corner and tags in The Amnesiac, he waits for Blitz to get to his feet, then springboards off the top rope and catches him with a clothesline! TA covers, but only gets a two count. Both men get to their feet, and Blitz tries a kick, but TA catches his foot, so he hits him with a enzuguri! TA drops to one knee and Blitz hits the ropes again, and tries a cross body block as TA stands up, but TA catches him and reverses it into a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Blitz is OUT! TA starts to cover, but sees Nayr running into the ring to break it up, he catches him with a boot to the face, but he staggers backward into SYB! The referee counts that as a tag! SYB is the legal man! He struggles into the ring while The Amnesiac and Nayr tumble out of the ring and brawl at ringside. On the other side, Crete and Blitz are going at it, with Fezzik also getting involved. The referee is busy trying to sort that mess out as SYB struggles to get between the ropes. Blitz is on one knee now, SYB falls against the ropes to get some momentum, then KICKS Blitz in the head with that protective boot! What a boot! Blitz falls to the mat and SYB is about to cover, when the crowd boos loudly. Moosehead Jack sprints to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, grabs SYB and spins him around and DRILLS him with not one, not two, but THREE consecutive heart punches! SYB lurches forward a bit, and Moose clotheslines him! SYB falls backward, out cold, but lands RIGHT ON the unconscious Blitz! Moose takes off, the referee finally turns around and sees the pin and counts, one, two, THREE! Crete and Nayr stare into the ring dumbstruck! We have NEW Campeonas de Trios champions!
WINNERS in 16:09 and NEW OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions – IHOP

Blitz, Fezzik and The Amnesiac drag SYB out of the ring and help him to the back, once again, he has no idea where he is, but now, he has a title belt with him. IHOP stop at the top of the ramp and hold up the titles while The Heroes Guild look on in disbelief in the middle of the ring.

DH MAGNUSSON vs. MATTE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match

Matte makes his way to the ring first, and as always, slumps into the corner and waits for his opponent to arrive. The OOWF Onslaught champion DH Magnusson is announced, and he comes out to the top of the ramp, and holds the title high in the air, all the while he is being showered with boos from the crowd. He laughs at their boos and heads to the ring, dropping the title off at the announce table. Magnusson steps between the ropes, and Matte still hasn’t moved. Finally the referee calls him out of the corner, and calls for the bell. Matte gets to his feet and walks to the middle, Magnusson tries a cheap shot with a kick to the gut, but Matte was playing a little possum. He catches Magnusson’s foot and immediately sweeps his leg, sending the big man to the canvas. Magnusson quickly spins to his feet, but Matte hits the ropes and connects with a clothesline to the back of his head that sends DH onto the second rope. Matte grabs the top rope and springs out of the ring, dropping a leg across the back of Magnusson’s head, sending him back into the ring. Matte immediately slides into the ring and covers, but he can only get a two count before DH rolls a shoulder. Matte pulls Magnusson to his feet and pushes him into the corner, and sets him on the top rope. Matte climbs up after him and hooks him for a suplerplex, but Magnusson fights out of it, holding onto the top rope with one hand and landing stiff shots to Matte’s ribs with the other. Finally Magnusson grabs Matte by the head and repeatedly slams him in the face with head butts until he falls off the ropes. DH stands up and tries an elbow drop, but Matte gets a boot up just in time, catching DH on the jaw. Magnusson staggers around the ring clutching his jaw, Matte gets to his feet, hits the ropes and chop blocks Magnusson sending him to the mat in pain. Matte pulls him to his feet and sends him through the ropes to the floor, then follows him to the outside. Matte pulls DH to his feet and tries a whip into the guard rail, but Magnusson reverses it and Matte hits shoulder first. This gets a warning from the ref, since technically, I suppose, that could be considered a foreign object. Magnusson shrugs it off and pulls Matte to his feet, lifts him high in the air and drops him crotch first on the rail, drawing a second warning. Magnusson then CLUBS Matte across the chest, sending him to the floor. DH smirks at the fans again, they are right in his face booing him, he grabs Matte by the hair and rolls him under the bottom rope into the ring. Magnusson takes his time and slowly climbs through the ropes, then drops an elbow across Matte’s chest and makes a lazy cover. He gets a two count, but Matte is able to roll his shoulder in time. Magnusson snaps at the referee about it being a slow count, then pulls Matte to his feet and delivers a short arm clothesline, but holds on to Matte and pulls him back to his feet. Magnusson tries to whip Matte into the corner, but Matte reverses the whip, then Magnusson reverses it again and sends Matte into the corner, right where the referee is standing! Matte and the referee collide, and both fall to the mat. With the referee down, Magnusson gets a sick grin on his face and slowly leaves the ring. DH rummages around under the ring for a moment, then comes back with his trusty crowbar. He gets back into the ring, and Matte is just starting to stir. As Matte gets to his feet, Magnusson measures him for a shot with the crowbar. Just then, the crowd erupts as Spin Hansen races to the ring. He jumps onto the apron and grabs the crowbar from Magnusson’s hand. DH spins around and glares at Spin, threatening to remove his head from his body. Spin remains on the outside taunting him. Finally, inside the ring, Matte is on his feet and sees what is going on, he grabs Magnusson from behind, spins him around, kicks him low and DRIVES him to the mat with a NEVERMIND DDT! Matte rolls DH over, covers, and hooks the leg, the referee is just now stirring enough to see what is going on, he crawls to the pin, and counts one, two, THREE!
WINNER in 11:59 and NEW ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION – Matte

Matte grabs the title and bails out of the ring. Spin slowly backs up the ramp, still holding onto the crowbar while Magnusson seethes inside the ring.

POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – Non-Title Weapons Match

The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena. The first thing heard is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and The Darling Twins take a step onto the ramp. They don't move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on them. ”Princes of the Universe.” starts and Alexander and Alexis, sporting matching fuzzy boots and going through the whole slow-motion entrance; are carrying a very familiar looking trunk. They slide it into the ring, and start pulling out toys from the trunk: light tubes, clangy poles, rebar, baseball bats, a couple of window panes, and one particular blood-stained sledgehammer with an autograph on it. He holds the sledge with a sadistic grin, and looks up the ramp, bouncing back and forth on his feet. “Misera Cantare” fires up and the crowd gets to their feet to cheer the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. Poe and Selena Gomez appear at the top of the ramp with a Tommy Dreamer Memorial Shopping Cart, which is filled with all their toys from their shopping adventures this week. Poe empties the cart into the ring, and it's clear that this is already going to be ugly. Senior Referee Davis Hightower hands the belt to the outside, looks for a safe area in the ring, and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Poe has selected a matching sledgehammer to go with Alexander's and they slowly circle each other. Darling feigns in and Poe jumps back, leaving a huge target open for Darling to throw his sledgehammer at. It hits Poe square in the chest, and could have crushed a lung. Darling quickly snatches up one of his light tubes, and SMASHES it over Poe's head, and Poe is bleeding. Darling hits a DDT onto the light tube remnants and goes for a quick cover. Poe kicks out right at 2, and he's bleeding like a stuck pig. Darling retreats to his pile-o-plunder and selects a window pane. He methodically turns back toward Poe, but Poe has wrapped his hand in a big bundle of Barbed Wire, and punches him in the face. Darling immediately falls backward, and Poe starts grating Darling's face with the Barbed Wire. That's just gruesome. Poe hooks the leg with the Barbed Wire pressed against Darling's throat. Darling kicks out at 2, and dives away from Poe, with the Barbed Wire still stuck to his throat. Poe stalks him, and EATS WINDOW PANE! Darling leaves the frame draped over Poe's head, probably hoping the jagged remnants puncture Poe's throat or jugular. Good idea. Darling lets out a primal scream as he rips the Barbed Wire from his own throat, and goes to check Poe's Pile o' Fun. He selects a spade, and promptly BASHES Poe in the head with it. Poe falls awkwardly to the mat, and fortunately, the glass missed his throat, but cut up his face and neck. Darling grabs a trash can, slowly gets to his feet, and hits a RUNNING 450 SPLASH WITH THE TRASH CAN on Poe! Darling then bashes Poe in the head with 2 elbows and looks at Hightower, who does nothing. Darling hops to his feet, enraged. He screaming that that was enough to stop his match with Larson, and Hightower is in full apology mode. However, neither of them are paying attention to Poe, who just HAMMERS Darling in the balls with a Clangy Pole.

Darling's eyes bug out, and he drops like a sack o' potatoes. Poe grabs a baseball bat, and just starts pummeling Darling with it; intentionally trying to break ribs and crack Darling's head open. Darling is literally pouring blood, so Poe decides to cover...1...2...NO! Darling kicks out, much to Poe's dismay. Poe turns to grab the baseball bat, and Darling NAILS Poe in the knee with the Rebar. Poe crumples to the mat, and Darling lunges while bashing Poe in the head with the Rebar. Poe looks unconscious. This doesn't slow Darling at all, as he takes the Rebar, and starts SLAMMING it down onto Poe's ankle...repeatedly. After 6 or 7 blows, bone must be broken at this point, so Darling drops the Rebar, finds his sledgehammer, and BLASTS Poe twice in the head with it. Darling STILL isn't done. He crawls over to the toybox, and apparently he left something in there. He fishes out a...scalpel? That's sure what it looks like, and he crawls back over to Poe's ankle, and...what is he doing? He's CARVING INTO POE'S ANKLE! He carves a $! He carves an A! He's doing initials dammit! Just as Darling starts in on the D, Poe DESTROYS Darling in the face with a light tube! And by the way Darling reacted, there might be a shard of glass in his eye. Poe struggles to his feet, and goes over to the barbed wire, and lays it flat on the mat. He hobbles badly over Darling, who still hasn't uncovered his face yet, and yanks him up, and gets Darling vertical...OBELISK ON THE BARBED WIRE! Darling screams out, but Poe eschews the cover.

Poe grabs a baseball bat, and he starts swinging for the fences on Darling, and he's targeting joints! Ankles, Knees, Wrists, Elbows, Shoulders, nothing gets a pass. Darling is gasping for air and looks like he might be going into shock! Poe covers! 1, 2, thre...NO! NO! NO! Hightower says Darling rolled the shoulder up! Poe is incensed and he's SCREAMING at Hightower. Poe is literally covered in blood, and you can't tell where it's coming from. Poe transform back into his calm demeanor, and goes back to inflict more damage on Darling, but instead, Darling SLAMS his sledgehammer into Poe's groin! Poe yelps and drops to his knees. Darling is having a hard time moving, never mind getting off the mat. Darling manages to roll to his knees as Davis Hightower's count reaches 6. The Barbed Wire is still stuck to his back. Darling crawls to the ropes to pull himself up, but when he turns around, he's NAILED WITH A HIEROGLYPH, and Darling tumbles out of the ring. Poe screams “COUNT!” Hightower complies. He's nearly at 8 before Darling even starts moving, and just as Hightower hits 10, Darling dives into the ring! Poe can't believe it, and struggles to get to his feet. He hobbles over to a baseball bat, and looks to swing for the fences again, but Darling rolls out of the way! Darling grabs a nearby light tube, and SMASHES POE IN THE FACE WITH IT! Poe falls on his back, holding his face, hoping there's no permanent damage done. Darling slowly pulls himself to his feet, and leans against the ropes, staring down at the bloody Poe. The crowd is as apeshit as it's been the whole match. Darling looks like he's going to cover, but instead, he takes a deep breath, and LOCKS ON THE DARLING MONEY CLIP! Poe is in the middle of the ring, and a rope break really isn't going to help him anyway. Darling finds the freshly carved ankle, and starts to twist it while the hold is applied! Poe tries EVERYTHING he can think of to get out of the hold, but after a full minute goes by; Poe has no choice but to tap out!
WINNER in 34:59 by SUBMISSION...Alexander Darling!

As soon as the bell rings, Darling collapses to the mat. Hightower flashes the “Dreaded X” sign repeatedly, and real-life EMTs flood the ring. Selena and Alexis are simply too shocked at the scene, and look on in horror as the gurneys are brought in to take the two warriors to the nearest medical facility.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the MADNESS V PPV! Live, March 29th, from Springfield, Oregon! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! March 25th from Springfield, Idaho

For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts
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Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!

***two matches are missing, I will add them when I get home later tonight***

OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Texas

CHRIS COLE vs. DAMON WRATH

Chris Cole wins in short order. Match to be added later.

IHOP vs. FF CAPSLOCK, CHRIS EVANS & BLITZ


Angelo Barros is YOUR referee~!

IHOP out first to a wild chorus of boos. THE Amnesiac soaks it in like cheers, SYB and Skurge don't seem to acknowledge the crowd. Seperate entrances for their opponents. Blitz out first to a nice pop, though he frowns at "Jobber Blitz = Aquaman?" sign in the crowd. "Lionheart" Chris Evans out next to respectable cheers. FF's music plays once..... no Capslock.

Music plays again.... no capslock. Cameras cut to backstage where the Rick is in the Jobber Locker room.

GMtR: Anyone wanna work?

(the ENTIRE locker room is on its feet begging for a shot)

GMtR: Oy.....

(Hi-Yo Sakamoto runs out the door before GM The Rick can close the door completely. He dashes to the ring)

Blitz: uh....yeah.

Evans: at least he's wearing a costume

Blitz: Shut up.

Sakamoto jumps into the ring to start and ends up nose-to-chest with Skurge, who just grins savagely at the jobber. Sakamoto starts with a flurry of kicks, which Skuge just watches the little jobber go. Evans has his head in his hands and Blitz wishes he could call in the Heroes' Guild for this one. Skuge finally grabs the jobber around the throat and throws him to the corner, knocking Evans to the floor. Blitz tags himself in while Sakamoto makes sure he hasn't soiled his tights.

Blitz walks right up to Skurge, who is cracking his knuckles in anticipation. The two lock up, but it's no contest.... Skurge backs Blitz to a neutral corner, but gives a clean break at Barros' 4 count. He lunges at the corner but Blitz drops straight down, letting Skurge slam his chest into the top turnbuckle. As he backs off, Blitz pulls himself up, hops to the top rope and staggers Skurge with a Missle dropkick to the back. Skurge regains his footing and reaches for Blitz, who is already back on his feet and bounding for the corner where Evans has recovered. He tags Evans, who confidently climbs in and stands up to Skurge. The two lock up, but this time Evans is able to take a quick advantage by getting Skurge in an armwringer. He quickly chains it to a hammerlock, trying to push the big man down to his knees. Skurge fakes pushing down to his knees to reverse the arm wringer and he backs to his corner to tag in THE Amnesiac. Amn leaps over the ropes and double ax-handles Evans' arm and Evans staggers away. Amn follows, grabs Evans' arm and whips him back across the ring, where the two run the ropes to try to catch each other on moves before Evans catches Amn midair for a powerslam and a quick cover - a 1 count. Evans gets Amn to his feet and the two engage in some serious MAT RASSLIN. Sakamoto is taking notes in the corner while Blitz tries to rally the crowd. Evans has the upper hand but when he comes back to his corner he sees Blitz is even watching the match! He tags Blitz - hard - and demands ot know where his head's at. Blitz jumps in the ring and the two get nose to nose. Amn tags in SYB to see if he can do anything with the duelling duo. SYB pushes Evans, who pie-faces him away. SYB then pushes Blitz, who pie-faces him as well. The two of them are arguing as SYB stomps back to the corner, tags in Skurge, and points. Skurge walks up to them and pushes them both. Before they can react, Sakamoto tries to cross-body Skurge but he casually catches the jobber, carries him to the announce side, and makes sure Sakamoto goes through the Korean announce table. Skurge turns back around and sees Blitz and Evans brawling. He just smirks while Barros is trying to break that up. He turns back to his corner and celebrates the victory as Barros calls for the bell to stop teammates from fighting.

WINNERS in 7:42 - IHOP


THE DEAD vs. STANK

Arena goes black, fog begins to rise and Smashing Pumpkin’s Doomsday Clock fills the night. Through the fog and under the black light out steps The Dead…The Dead looks around the arena, raises him arms once in the air and runs down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope bouncing to his feet and up on to the far turnbuckle…The strobe lights begin, two load explosions pop with red flames and Nonpoint’s “Skin ” begins as Stank charges out of the back and down the ramp

Stank hits the ring and The Dead like a bull stampede…Stank has speared The Dead and now has him on the ground delivering lefts and rights to the head…

Referee calls for the bell and now we are under way…Stank grabs TD and pulls him to his feet, Irish whip to the robes and catches him with a twisting power bomb. The Dead is under attack early here folks…

Stank is up and bounces off the ropes and goes for a Stankonia 2.0, TD rolls out of the way. Stank may have been a little too eager there, way too early in the match for that…both men make their way to their feet and TD catches Stank with a knife edge chop that backs the big man up…another one and Stank is backed into the corner, TD climbs the ropes…starts to deliver punches to the face…1….2….3…..4…5…6..7….8….9…10…

TD jumps off the second rope and grabs Stank for a bull dog out of the corner, TD covers..1…2 and Stank kicks out. TD pulls Stank up and catches him with a swinging neck breaker and again with the quick cover…1….2.. and once again Stank kicks out at 2 and 1/2…TD goes to pull Stank up again but Stank delivers a perfect thumb to the eye…and as Jessie used to say doesn’t matter how much you work out you can’t work out the eye…TD stumbles away to the ropes, Stank is up and after him…

Stank clubs TD across the back with a few big forearm shots and grabs him around the waist for a fall away gut wrench…that throws TD half way across the ring.

Stank slides over to TD and covers him hooking the far leg…1…2…Referee calls for the break as TD lifts his other leg to the ropes…Stank pulls TD up with him but TD breaks the hold and delivers a right to the jaw, Stank responses with a right of his own and this thing turns into a pier sixer…both men unloading on each other…Stank has had enough and hit The Dead with a clothesline from Hell that turns TD inside out…Stank for the cover 1….2….2 ½ and TD barely gets hit shoulder up…Stank brings him up and delivers a shitfaced on The Dead…ohhhhh TD looks to have a bloody nose on that one, Stank for the cover 1…2…2 and ¾….ahhhh how did he do it, The Dead kicked out, he must be going on instinct now because he’s should be out on his feet…Stank is beside himself, he argues with the ref for a faster count…ref just shrugs his shoulder and holds up 2 fingers…

Stank firmly in control of the match grabs The Dead and whips him to the ropes, Stank bends down to sets himself too early, The Dead kicks him and follows that up with DDT. The crowd is stunned, Stank is stunned, hell I think The Dead is stunned…TD waits for Stank to get up….he’s measuring his man…Stank is up and turns around…BAMMMMM…The Dead nails him! Close the Casket! Stank is down…The Dead covers…1….2….3 and your winner, The Dead! Wow Stank had this match from the beginning…it just goes to show you that on any given day the Superstars in the OOWF can win or lose in a blink of the eye!
WINNER in 15:59 – The Dead

SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. MATTE vs. THIM REYNOLDS – Winner Gets an Onslaught Title Shot Next Week

Matte is announced first and he comes to the ring and slumps in the corner and waits for his opponents to make an appearance. Seamus and Thim are both announced, but neither comes out. They are announced a second time, but still nothing. Finally, the referee is about to start the ten count, when they burst through the back onto the stage, trading haymakers. Both men are already bloody, so who knows how long this has been going on. Since last week perhaps? Who knows. Thim and Seamus make their way partly down the ramp then both seem to realize that the referee is counting them, so they break off the fight and rush to the ring and slide under the ropes just before the count out. As Thim gets to his feet, Matte charges out of the corner and hits him with a running knee lift, then kicks Seamus in the gut and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte covers, but Thim pulls him off of Seamus just before the three. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a spine buster, but somehow Matte reverses that into a DDT as well. Thim rolls out of the ring and Matte gets a running start and dives between the ropes and slams into Thim sending him back first into the guard rail. Matte is quickly back to his feet and slides under the ropes just as Seamus gets to his feet. Matte bounds off the ropes and connects with a clothesline to the back of Seamus’ head that sends him into the corner. Matte charges in, but Seamus gets a boot up that catches Matte right on the jaw. Matte staggers out of the corner, just as Thim gets back into the ring. Thim charges and hits Matte with a flying boot to the face. Matte may be dead. Thim moves to make the cover, but Seamus charges out of the corner and connects with a clothesline that sends Thim against the ropes. Seamus charges again and tries to clothesline Thim over the top rope, but Thim backdrops Seamus out of the ring to the floor. Thim grabs Matte and buries a knee to his midsection, then hits a tilt-a-whirl brain buster! Thim covers, but Matte rolls his shoulder at two. Thim pulls Matte to his feet and sets him on the top rope facing the audience. Thim starts to climb up after him when Seamus gets back into the ring and nails him with a forearm. Thim falls off the ropes and Seamus sends him to the ropes and catches him with a drop toe hold that hangs Thim on the middle rope. Seamus steps onto the apron and runs the apron and catches Thim on the temple with a knee. Thim slumps to the mat and Seamus slides back into the ring and grabs Matte, who is still sitting on the top rope, and hits the CELTIC CROSS! Matte hits the mat and flops like a dead fish. Seamus moves in to cover, but Thim stops him with a clubbing shot to the back of the head. Thim gets to his feet and he and Seamus go toe to toe again. They trade haymakers, ignoring the referee’s warnings about closed fists. Seamus ducks a wild swing from Thim and connects with a head butt to Seamus face that staggers him, and leaves blood pouring from his nose. Seamus tries to clothesline him out again, but once again Thim backdrops him, this time though, Seamus lands on his feet. He spins Thim around and GUILLOTINES him on the top rope! Thim staggers backward. Matte is now on his feet, he spins Thim around, kicks him, and DROPS him with the NEVERMIND DDT! Matte quickly covers and hooks both legs and gets the one, two, THREE just before Seamus can make it back in to break things up!
WINNER in 12:49 – Matte

Matte quickly bails out of the ring while Seamus and Thim resume their brawl. They fight around ringside and back up the ramp before security finally separate them.

DAVIN MORELAND & BRYCE LARSON vs. CONCRETE TG & NAYR

Moreland and Larson make their way to the ring first, with an air of confidence that can be sensed for miles. Concrete TG leads Nayr to the ring, and the Halfling Luchador still seems uneasy about facing his former partner. The announcements are made, all four men are ready and the bell rings. We are underway!

Larson starts out with CTG, and they lock horns in the center of the ring! Neither man can gain an advantage, until CTG finally takes Larson over in a side headlock. Larson immediately turns it into a head scissors. CTG rolls them both over, putting his own shoulders down on the mat. Hightower counts, but CTG bridges up, both avoiding the pin and breaking out of the head scissors. CTG takes both men over once more, this time tying up Larson's legs. CTG then goes back to the headlock. This time Bryce slips out, trapping CTG in a hammerlock. Bryce releases, and both men pop up to their feet, facing each other in the middle of the ring. CTG goes over to talk strategy with Nayr, and Larson does the same with Moreland. Davin Moreland tags himself in, so Nayr does the same!

They lock-up, and Moreland simply tosses Nayr back into his own corner. Nayr comes back to center ring, and the same exchange is repeated. This time, both men retreat to their corner. The Guild members discuss switching, but Nayr stays in the ring. Larson gives Moreland instructions, since he knows Nayr so well.

Moreland approaches the center of the ring, and suddenly Bryce Larson jumps up to the top rope and hits a springboard dropkick to the back of Davin Moreland! The crowd gets to their feet in amazement. Nayr immediately looks to CTG, shocked. CTG smiles, pointing to a downed Davin Moreland, and Nayr bounces of the ropes and connects with a seated dropkick to the face. CTG enters the ring and connects with the Long Arm of the Law! Moreland is down, and Bryce picks him up for a brain buster in the center of the ring. Bryce ascends the corner, and is seated on the top turnbuckle. CTG directs Nayr over, and he looks at Bryce, who smiles as well. Nayr climbs up to Bryce's shoulders, standing high above the Springfield crowd. Bryce stands, and Nayr launches and connects with a Double Rotation Shooting Star Press off of Bryce's shoulders! Nayr covers...1...2...3!
WINNERS in 4:57 - Nayr and Concrete TG

Blitz and Damon Wrath enter the ring to celebrate with The Heroes Guild as Bryce Larson puts the Guild shirt on. CTG grabs the mic, and it's promo time!

CTG: Citizen Larson...welcome home!

Nayr is jumping up and down, excited beyond belief. Bryce grabs the mic.

BL: It's good to be back, Gryfon. Davin Moreland, the day you offered yourself to me as a potential partner was the day I found the perfect opening...the perfect opening for The Heroes Guild!

Bryce turns to address Nayr.

BL: Midget, I know you were put through an emotional roller coaster over this. But Nayr, there is only one man in this company that I want to team with, and it's you!

Nayr runs to Bryce and gives him a little brother like hug. Mary Jane has made her way to ringside. Bryce reaches through the ropes to shake her hand, and then she kisses Nayr.

CTG: Citizen Larson, Bryce, you've been through a ton. And you've proven that even as a vigilante, you're a true hero. But "The King of the Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon" Larson isn't a very good Hero name. From this day forward, you are "Bulletproof" Bryce Larson!

BL: Thank you Gryfon...thank you. Ladies and Gentleman, take a good look at the new protectors of good in the world. And to all of the evil doers in the back, know this. Damon Wrath, Blitz, Nayr the Halfling Luchador, Bulletproof Bryce Larson, and our leader Concrete Takaken Gryfon aren't just reacting to evil actions anymore. We are seeking evil out to extinguish it before harm is done. Because THIS is The Heroes Guild!

All five men pose in the ring as the referees pull take Davin Moreland out of the ring and to the back. As Moreland gets to the top of the ramp, he finally pulls himself together. He shoves the ref’s away from him and turns and glares at Larson in the middle of the ring. Larson catches his stare and invites him back to the ring. Davin takes one step toward the ring, then his entire demeanor changes and he looks down and heads to the back.

DH MAGNUSSON vs. SPIN HANSEN – Non-Title Street Fight

Spin Hansen enters the arena first, showing his loyalty to Drink and Destroy by using “Alcohaulin' Ass” as his music. D.H. Magnusson, Onslaught belt in hand, sprints out to sneak attack, but the fans warn Spin and he drops out of the way. DH puts on the brakes and turns around, right into a big boot from Spin. Hansen pulls his former partner to his feet, doubles him over with a knee to the midsection, and repeatedly drives knees into his face. He drags DH to ringside and runs him head-first into the ring post. Blood is flowing from DH's forehead as Spin grabs him for a DDT. DH fights back with punches to the stomach, then reverses into a suplex that drops Spin on the ring steps. DH kicks Spin onto the floor, then picks up the steps and drives them into his midsection. He searches under the ring and comes up with his logging chain. He wraps it around his fist and tries for a fist drop, but Spin rolls out of the way. Spin gets to his feet and starts stomping on DH's arm until he lets go of the chain. Spin sets the chain on the apron and stuffs DH into the ring, where referee Junior Hale calls for the bell to finally start the match.

Spin sends DH to the ropes and levels him with a clothesline, then pounces on him and starts pounding away with lefts and rights. DH manages to throw him off, trapping his arm in the process and locking on an arm bar Spin struggles, and manages to get enough leverage to roll DH up, forcing him to break the hold.

Both men roll to their feet. DH ducks a clothesline, hits the ropes, and delivers a shoulder block that staggers Spin, but doesn't knock him down. DH tries again, but Spin still manages to stay on his feet. DH snarls and waves Spin to the ropes. Spin tries for his own shoulder block, but DH sidesteps. Spin hits the opposite ropes and gets planted by a spine buster. DH delivers a swift kick to the head and goes to retrieve his chain. As he turns around, Spin springs to his feet and drives a forearm into his jaw. He backs him into the corner with a series of right hands, then doubles him over with a knee and drives an elbow into the back of his head. Spin grabs the chain away, wraps it around his fist, and starts pummeling DH, increasing the blood flowing from his forehead. DH puts a stop to that with a kick to the Hansen’s, then nails him with a wicked right hand. DH yanks the chain away, gets a running start, and slams it into Spin's face. Spin drops like he's been shot, and comes up bleeding.

DH stomps his partner to the mat and whips him with the chain, raising ugly welts on his back. DH drops the chain and grabs Spin's arms, showing his loyalty to run DEA by hitting the curb stomp. He holds on and pistons Spin's face into the mat several more times, until the mat is stained with blood. DH drags Spin to his feet and shoves him onto the corner. He rocks him with punches, then sits him on the top rope. DH climbs the turnbuckles as well, brushing off Spin's attempts to fight back. DH tries for a superplex, but Spin blocks it. After a few moments of struggle, Spin hip tosses DH off the top to the outside, where he crashes through the Lichtenstein announce table. Spin teeters on the top, but at the last moment finds enough control to turn his fall into a diving head butt to DH in the wreckage. Junior checks both men and looks around uncertainly – they're obviously hurt, but calling this match would likely cause a riot. With a shake of his head he starts to count.

Spin is the first to stir at six. He drags himself over to DH – and wraps his hands around his throat to choke him. Rage gives him energy, and he climbs on DH, kneeling on his shoulders and slamming his skull into the floor. DH manages to pull Spin's hands off and hold his arms out straight, pulling him down so he can deliver a wicked head butt. He flips them over and tries to return the choke, but Spin throws him off. DH comes up with a piece of broken table. He swings, but Spin ducks, driving a shoulder into DH's midsection and flipping him over the railing into the crowd. DH uses the barricade to drag himself to his feet, and Spin wraps a chair around his head before climbing into the crowd as well. The fans love being up close to the brutality – until they notice the blood soaking their clothes. Spin runs DH face-first into the arena wall, and they fight their way to the stairway to the upper deck, bowling over more than a few fans in the process. Security attempts to direct them back to ringside, but gives that up after the third man is knocked unconscious. Spin and DH brawl up to and across the second level. At an open area directly above the sound guys, DH tries to throw Spin over the railing, but Spin fights back. He chokes DH against the metal railing then, with a sick gleam in his eye, hoists him into position for a Border toss! As he goes over the railing, DH hooks his legs on Spins shoulders, hitting the ugliest Frankensteiner in history, tossing Spin over the railing, and through the sound table! DH, hanging from the railing, drops a shorter distance to the floor, but he's not moving either. The crowd starts a chant, but it peters out as shock sets in.

EMT's are out to help both men, but once they're conscious Spin and DH fight them off. Both men stagger toward each other and start swinging. Fortunately they move in the right direction, saving security some pain. DH clotheslines Spin over the railing into the aisle and drags him to the ring. He hits a brutal power bomb on the floor, then stuffs Spin into the ring. He props him up and levels him with the Jersey Hammer. With a blood-soaked smirk, DH makes the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Thr – SPIN KICKS OUT!

DH is shocked, and takes a moment to clear his head. When he moves back in, Spin catches him with a kick to the face. Getting to his feet, Spin staggers DH with punches and sends him to the corner, hitting an avalanche, and following up with a belly-to-belly suplex. Spin rolls to the outside and digs under the ring. He comes out with his rebar, but isn't satisfied. He continues searching and finds – uh-oh – a coil of barbed wire. It's hard to tell through the blood, but it looks like he's smiling. He wraps the wire around the rebar, which gives DH time to slide out of the ring and circle behind him. DH spins Spin around – and gets clocked by the rebar. Spin drives the rebar into DH's back over and over, the drags him to his feet and crams him into the ring. He pulls DH up, traps his arms, and hits a series of head butts that leaves both men staggered. He drives a knee into his midsection and hoists him for the Jaegerbomb. DH starts throwing punches at the top of the move and knocks Spin off balance. He staggers, but manages to fall forward, hitting a regular power bomb. It takes him a moment to cover, and DH rolls a shoulder just before the three.

Spin drags DH to his feet and sets up a suplex, but DH fights free. They slug it out until DH slips a punch and gets behind Spin. DREAMSTREET! DH has the Dragon Sleeper cinched in, but Spin refuses to tap. After an agonizing struggle, he manages to fight his way free. Both men use the ropes to pull themselves to their feet, and DH lunges, but Spin sidesteps and hits a drop toehold. He drives several elbows into the back of DH's head, then pulls him to his feet. He tries for the suplex again, and this time gets him up, HAIR OF THE DOG! Spin falls on DH for the cover and Junior counts One...Two...Three.
WINNER, in 26:47, Spin Hansen.

After the match: EMTs flood the ring, bringing security just in case, but neither man is in any shape to fight them off. Both men are eventually helped to the back as the stunned crowd looks on.


THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. KZ – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match

Kz is announced first, and the boos rain down from the fans, presumably on LD Williams. LD pauses for a moment, soaking it all in. He smirks and he and Moose head to the ring and wait. The Team From Down Under are announced, but they sprint down the ramp and immediately attack kz! Moose and Gator tumble between the ropes and fall to the floor, LD and Jack trade chops and punches in the middle of the ring. Jack is beyond furious and he rakes LD’s eyes and throws him through the ropes to the floor. Jack follows LD to the floor and grabs him by the hair and pulls his head back and DROPS him with a chop to the throat. LD falls to the floor and Jack stomps away. Moose rakes Gator’s eyes and throws him into the stairs shoulder first and grabs a chair and charges across ringside and NAILS Jack with a chair shot. Jack gets his arm up just in time to deflect some of the blow, but it still staggers him. Moose pounces on Gator and knocks him to the floor, then lifts the guard rail and slams it down on his head. Moose hammers Jack with closed fists to the face. LD gets back to his feet and he and Moose pull Jack to his feet and pull him over to the ring post. Jack and LD slide into the ring holding Jack’s arms, and pull him forward FACE FIRST into the steel! The echo of skull meeting steel rings through the arena and Jack collapses to the floor. Gator slides into the ring and spins Moose around and SMASHES a bottle on his skull, Moose drops to his knees holding his head while blood runs between his fingers. Gator grabs a piece of the glass and punches LD, leaving a gash across his cheek. Williams backs up, but Gator comes after him, pinning him into the corner where both men fight for the piece of glass. Moose slowly gets to his feet, and we see Jack is back on his feet on the outside, gushing blood. He rummages under the ring and comes out with a kendo stick, slides into the ring, and BLASTS Moose with it, sending him to the mat. Jack breaks the kendo stick over Moose’s back, hitting him repeatedly with it. In the corner, Williams frees himself by head butting Gator in the face. Williams sees Jack standing over the fallen Moose and slips out of the ring and grabs a chair and climbs back onto the apron. There is a momentary standoff, then the Aussies grab Moose and pull him to his feet and are about to hit the CALL OF THE WILD when LD throws the chair into the ring, bouncing it off of Gator’s face. Gator falls to the mat, and Moose grabs Jack and scoops up a handful of glass and grinds it into Jack’s face, coming close to his eye. Jack howls in pain and falls to his knees. Moose sets up Jack for a heart punch, but a bloody Gator dives in and clips the back of Moose’s leg. Williams comes back in and pulls Gator up by his hair and kicks him in the gut and DDT’S HIM ONTO THE BROKEN GLASS! The referee, who for some reason let this carnage go on even though it was clear he would never gain any control of the match, seems to have finally seen enough and waves the match off and immediately calls for security. The four men are still fighting and clawing at one another when security comes out to break them up. Well that fails, so the locker room empties and pulls the two teams apart. Once they are finally separated Poe and Seamus are keeping Moose and LD on one side of the ring while Spin and Stank are keeping Jack and Gator at bay. Stank steps part way across the ring and says something to Moose, and Moose responds by spitting a mouthful of blood in Stank’s face. This touches off another brawl between the eight men. The locker room comes back and along with more security and the Springfield Police Department, keeps them separated and sent to the back.
WINNERS – No Contest after 5:11

TYTAN vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Dog Collar Chain Match

The crowd is amped, and they can't wait to see this next one. Referee Angelo Barros is holding a 10-foot chain with a dog collar attached to either end. This will be a 4 Corners Dog Collar Match. The first competitor to touch all 4 corners in a row will be the winner. “Fuel” hits, and the expected mixed reaction comes with it for Firewoman; who ignores her pyro and just strides into the ring. Barros hands her one of the collars, and Firewoman, with a grin, puts it on. The music switches to “The Fight Inside” and Tytan proceeds down the ramp similarly; ignoring his pyro, and threatening to go right after Fire until Barros begs him off. Tytan clips the collar on himself, and both wrestlers are locked in. Tytan hands the belt to Barros, eager to get this one underway. Barros holds it up in the air. This match is for the OOWF Intercontinental Championship. Barros hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Slowly, Fire and Tytan circle each other, with the chain between them. It looks like they're going to lock up, but Fire ducks Tytan, and slips behind him. She yanks HARD on the chain and Tytan is PLANTED FACE FIRST! Fire hog-ties Tytan's ankles together, and heads to the turnbuckles! She touches the first; takes a few steps and touches the second. She's going for the third, but there's not nearly enough chain for freedom of movement; and she's got to drag Tytan with her. Tytan is a pretty big dude, and Fire is making progress, but Tytan has rolled to his back, and he yanks back on the chain. Fire lands on the back of her head. Tytan unties himself, pulls Fire up, and hits a DELAYED BRAINBUSTER that looked vicious. Now Tytan's touching corners, as he hits the first and second easily. He has a much easier time dragging Fire across the ring as he goes for the third corner; but by the time he touches it, Fire is now standing, and Tytan notices he's not budging. He seems to debate diving for the 4th corner, but he never gets the chance, as Fire yanks the chain, which propels her forward, and Tytan backward; making for a SICK Dropkick to Tytan's grill. Tytan goes down backward, which sends Fire flying too.

Fire recovers first, and simply wraps the chain around Tytan's throat, choking him. Then, she rolls Tytan over, and locks on the FIRETAMER! Fire's knee is forcing Tytan's throat right into the chain; and Fire is rearing back as far as she possibly can. It's not long before Tytan passes out, and Barros has to convince Fire not to kill Tytan. Reluctantly, she agrees, and releases the hold. She easily touches the first and second corners. She then has to drag Tytan across the ring; and it's a maddeningly slow process – especially with Tytan unconscious. Finally, she gets to the third corner, and she smiles; thinking she can smell the title. At that moment, Tytan starts moving, and Fire panics. She DIVES for the 4th corner, and comes up a couple of feet short. She scrambles to her feet and tries one last time, but she's suspended in midair, as Tytan is holding the chain now. He flings the chain up and catches Fire, hitting a SICK IMPALER DDT! He pulls Fire up, and hits a FULL NELSON SLAM! Satisfied, he heads off to touch some corners.

He gets the first and second without breathing heavy, and it's very little effort to get to the third. He's simply walking to the 4th turnbuckle, and posing in the meantime. He dramatically gets his arm up to tag the corner and ENDS UP OUTSIDE THE RING! Fire did a full-speed baseball slide out to the floor, and Tytan got dragged along for the ride! He goes all the way into the barrier, and Fire is under the ring looking for weapons. She comes up with a Kendo Stick, and it's clobberin' time for Fire. She mercilessly beats on the defenseless Tytan; splitting the stick in two and opening several gashes on the Champ. Fire goes over to the woozy Tytan, and is able to bundle him into the ring. She touches the first corner, then the 2nd. Then, after a struggle, the third! She purposefully heads to the 4th turnbuckle, and she is DECIMATED BY A CLOTHESLINE which sends Fire all the way to the outside, and she is literally hanging, as her feet aren't quite touching the floor. Tytan hits the first corner, and the second corner. He goes for the third corner, and he's helped to it by Fire, as she grabbed the ropes and pulled herself back into the ring, and then smashed Tytan's head into the turnbuckle. In fact, she likes it so much, she does it 13 or 14 times in a row. Tytan's looped! Fire touches the corner. Tytan is still on his feet, but out of it, so he just sort of stumbles behind Fire as she goes to the 2nd turnbuckle. Same thing happens with the third. On the way to the 4th though, Tytan snaps out of it, and runs up behind Fire, and hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX...well, kinda. Fire lands on her feet, and she DROPKICKS Tytan into the corner. Tytan shakes it off and yanks on the chain, and WHIPS Fire to the near corner, but Fire REVERSES it, and Tytan winds up in the corner. He eats a couple of elbows for his troubles! Fire nails an ENZIGURI, and she's rolling. Lefts, rights, she's letting her emotions take over now, and she's doing her best to beat Tytan up as best as she can. Tytan staggers out of the corner, and Fire hits a LUCHA LIBRE ARM DRAG, which sends Tytan all the way into the near corner. Fire is ON him and stomps away! Tytan finally kicks Fire's legs out from under her to stop the onslaught. Tytan climbs to his feet and is...walking backward? He's begging off! He's trying to call a time-out! Tytan is slowly backpedaling and Fire simply stalks him. Finally, Tytan is in the corner, and he's got nowhere else to go! Fire's about to unleash the beatings again, and...Tytan tags the corner...and the bell rings? Fire whips off her collar and starts screaming, but Barros swears Tytan just hit 4 corners in a row.
WINNER in 10:16 by Touching All 4 Corners...TYTAN!

POE vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena and the first thing heard is ”There Can Be Only One.” That leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits and Alexander and Alexis Darling take a step onto the ramp. They doesn’t move until it finishes and a blue spotlight focuses on them and then ”Princes of the Universe.” hits. The twins have the whole slow-motion douchebag entrance ramped up here this evening, and they SLOWLY make their way to the ring; to the great disapproval of the crowd. Finally, they get into the ring, and Alexander does some Douchebag Posing around the ring, to a predictable response. Just when we think this entrance will never end, “Miseria Cantare” fires up and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Poe appears at the top of the ramp with the underage Selena Gomez. Pyro goes off everywhere, and they make their way down the ramp to a tremendous ovation. Senior Referee Davis Hightower holds off Alexander as Poe poses around the ring, holding the belt high over his head. The crowd is clearly pleased he's the champ. Finally, he hands the belt to Hightower, who holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Both men circle a bit to start, and trade trash talk in the process. This goes on for a couple of minutes before they're both nose-to-nose (ish, more like nose-to-chest) and letting the expletives fly. Finally, Darling says something, looks like it had to do with Selena as he points to the outside. Poe loses it and swings wildly. Alexander easily ducks under and hits a rear waist lock; immediately turning it into a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX, and Poe, unprepared, landed right on his neck. Darling presses his advantage and drops a couple of elbows. He grabs Poe's legs as if to go for the Darling Money Clip. Poe saw it coming, so he tries to kick Darling off; but Darling intentionally let Poe kick him off, and Darling swings around and locks on a Neck Vice. Normally, this is just a stupid rest hold; but Poe is really feeling the effects after his bad landing, and Hightower is actually checking on him. Poe regains his composure a bit, and starts to, well, “Poe Up”. He gets to a vertical base, but Darling swiftly spins himself around, and hits a SICK NECKBREAKER on Poe. Darling covers, and gets a LONG 2 count. Way too long this early in the match as a matter of fact. Darling slowly pulls Poe up, and locks him in if going for a DDT. Nope, it's a ROLL OF THE DICE (a.k.a. The Generic Finisher that people without finishers use), and it just flattens Poe. Another cover from Darling, and it's another VERY long 2 count, as Poe is just barely able to roll the shoulder. Darling pulls Poe up again, and kicks him in the gut, doubling him over. Darling hits an AXE KICK to the back of Poe's neck! Darling covers again; and Hightower notices at the very last instant that Poe has his foot on the rope. Darling is visibly frustrated, and heads to the top rope. He's about to take off, but is able to hold up as he sees Poe roll out to the floor in a great display of control. Poe gets to his feet outside, and Darling LEVELS him with a TOPE CON HILO FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE! In other promotions, we'd take this opportunity to go to commercial; but THIS IS THE OOWF!

Darling is up first, and is just stomping away on Poe, focusing mainly on the neck region. Poe ends up over near the Steel Steps and he groggily tries to get to his feet. Darling runs up and hits a HURRICARANA which plants Poe's head RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! Poe looks dead, and Darling starts posing and talking smack; the crowd is not ok with this. Darling slides into the ring, and instructs Hightower to begin a count. He obliges, and Darling goes to the top of the far turnbuckle to make the “me wanty belt” gesture. Well, who doesn't, right? Hightower is all the way up to 7 before Poe can even get to his knees; and it doesn't appear he really knows where he is right now. At 8, he crawls over near the apron; and Darling (mid-pose) can sense what's going on by the crowd reaction (stupid crowd). Darling flies across the ring and tries a Baseball Slide to keep Poe out of the ring; but Poe sidesteps and slides INTO the ring. Darling lands on his feet outside, and quickly bounds back into the ring, but is met with a HIEROGLYPH! Poe caught Darling square, and he went down like Samantha at a Pharmacy. Both men are down, and Hightower starts counting again.

Both get to their wobbly feet at about 6, but its Poe who makes the first move, and DIVES across the ring, leveling Darling with a Clothesline. Quick Scoop Slam from Poe, and then he follows that up with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Poe bridges out, and gets a 2 count before Darling kicks out hard. Poe tries to follow up, but Darling catches him, gets him up a bit, and hits a SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER! Darling shakes out the cobwebs as Poe lays motionless in the ring. Darling rolls Poe over, and gets him in a Surfboard Hold. You know what's coming next...MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Darling signals for Dark Darling Rising and sprints to the top rope! He sprints to the top rope, and takes off for the PHOENIX SPLASH...and EATS CANVAS! Poe is just able to escape as Darling crashes and burns. Now it's Poe up first, and he grabs Darling like a rag doll, and WHIPS him into the corner, following him in for a HUGE SPLASH! Big HIP TOSS as Darling stumbles out of the corner, and Poe follows that up immediately with a huge boot to the back of the head. Darling looks looped. Poe covers, but Darling escapes at 2. Poe pulls Darling up, and TOSSES him into the corner. Poe charges for a splash, but is BACK BODY DROPPED to the outside over the turnbuckle all the way to the floor, and he landed badly. Darling takes a few seconds to gather himself, and looks at first like he wants to try something high-risk. However, he spots a concerned looking Selena going over toward Poe, and Darling simply jumps out of the ring, and lands on his feet in front of her. He's saying something to her and looking at her menacingly. Selena appears to say something like “that's inappropriate” as she tries to back away. Darling continues to advance on her, so he doesn't see Poe hitting a BULLDOG on him onto the floor.

Quickly, he bundles Darling into the ring and gives chase. He pulls Darling up and hits an OBELISK. It looks like he's going to cover, but instead he pulls Darling up, and whips him to the ropes. He catches Darling with a HIEROGLYPH coming of the ropes! Darling looks finished. Poe pulls Darling up, and hits THE PENDULUM! That's gotta be it. But Poe looks SEVERELY pissed off, and isn't done yet. Poe signals to the crowd, and gets Darling in position for the CRUCIFIXION! He gets him up...and Darling SLIDES OUT THE BACK DOOR, AND FLOATS INTO AN ANKLE LOCK! Darling is glassy-eyed, and barely looks conscious, but he's got the leg GRAPEVINED and seems to have the hold in securely. Poe is in HUGE trouble here, with the mixture of pain from the hold, and the shock from what's just happened. Poe looks like he's fading, and is about to tap; but he Poe's Up again, and makes a desperate dive for the ropes, and just does get there by a fingertip. Darling makes full use of the 5-count before breaking the hold. Poe pulls himself up by the ropes, as Darling shakes out the cobwebs again. Darling charges across the ring and DIVES at Poe, but POE CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR! He's got Darling on his shoulder, and HITS THE CRUCIFIXION! Good night everybody, drive home safely!
WINNER in 14:59 by PINFALL...Poe!

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the MADNESS V PPV! Live, March 29th, from Springfield, Oregon! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! March 18th from Springfield, Colorado

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OOWF Rankings for 03/04/09[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Poe (+8, 17-9)
1. Tytan – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+5, 16-11)
2. DH Magnusson – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-1, 7-
3. Outback Jack (+8, 16-*
4. Firewoman (+8, 15-7)
5. Bryce Larson (+8, 15-7)
6. LD Williams (+6, 16-10)
7. Stank (+5, 12-7)
8. Nayr (+4, 11-7)**
9. Chris Evans (+4, 7-3)
10. GatorBait (+4, 4-0)*
11. Moosehead Jack (+3. 13-10)
12. Davin Moreland (+2, 14-12)
13. Skurge (+2, 13-11)
14. Thim Reynolds (+2, 2-0)
15. Concrete TG (+1, 13-12)**
16. Alexis Darling (+1, 5-4)
17. Alexander Darling (E, 13-13)
18. The Amnesiac (E, 12-12)
19. SYB (E, 12-12)
20. FF Capslock (E, 7-7)
21. Blitz (E, 5-5)**
22. The Dead (E, 3-3)
23. Chris Cole (-1, 11-12)
24. Matte (-3, 4-7)
25. Tyson Kincaid (-6, 9-15)
26. Spin Hansen (-7, 5-12)
27. Seamus McNasty (-8, 7-15)
28. Damon Wrath (-19, 3-22)


*OOWF World Tag Team Champions
**OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions


World Tag Team Rankings[/u]
OOWF World Tag Team Champions – The Team From Down Under (+4, 4-0)
1. IHOP (-1, 3-4)
2. kz (NR)

TYTAN vs. FIREWOMAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match

The lights dim and a wall of flame flares up. A new song is heard in the arena.



After the first chorus, Firewoman steps out of the flames, dressed...well, differently. Instead of her characteristic red, she is wearing all black. The effect is such that it looks like Firewoman comes out of the flames themselves, rather than through them. She poses for a minute at the top of the ramp, with red floodlights lighting the entire way (think Kane's entrance, although less Russo-spooky) as Lucky walks around the pyro. Once he gets to her side, the two stride down to the ring. Firewoman goes under the ropes, and Lucky walks up the steps. He takes her leather biker jacket, and Firewoman holds up a luchadore mask to either side of the ring. The crowd cheers. She gives the mask to Lucky, and he puts it in the side pocket of her jacket. Lucky leaves the ring to go to Firewoman's corner.

Since the lights are already dim, there's nothing to do but turn off the red floodlights. "Perfection can be created...…Ultimo Inc. presents Tytan, The Wrestling Prototype for the 21st Century." Tytan rises from the underneath the stage, and is flanked on either side by Steele and Lola. They pose for a minute listening to "For The Love Of God" and then start down the ring, when they are interrupted. Somehow, Firewoman has a microphone.

FW: Whoa whoa whoa....really? You can't even come to the ring by yourself? You may say I don't scare you, but your actions are certainly speaking louder than words.

The trio continue down the ramp and Tytan gets in the ring, and the referee wisely gets him his own microphone.

T: You just can't get it through that dense head of yours. You don't scare me.

FW: Then send them to the back.

T: You send Lucky to the back

Firewoman makes a nod in Lucky's direction, and he immediately heads to the back, all smiles. Tytan waits a minute, considering his options.

T: I have every right to have my managers at ring side.

Firewoman just shrugs, and tosses her microphone out of the ring, assuming the ready position, but she says loudly enough for Tytan's microphone to pick up "You're just proving my point." Tytan turns to Steele and Lola and tells them to leave. They hesitate for a moment, but Tytan insists. He turns back toward Firewoman.

T: There. You happy now?

FW: Ecstatic.

And she punctuates this with a left hook right to Tytan's chin. Tytan drops the microphone and the referee calls for the bell to get the bloodshed started.

Firewoman continues hammer at Tytan with punches, driving him back into the ropes. The referee begins the count for the break, and Firewoman backs off at 4.5. As Tytan steps away from the ropes, Firewoman hits a right European uppercut. Tytan is seeing stars, but it's early, and that perfection is not going to go down so easily. He staggers into the center of the ring. Firewoman bounces back into the ropes and comes in for a flying elbow, but Tytan's stagger was a fake, as he gets a foot right up into Firewoman's stomach, dangerously close to those sensitive ribs. Firewoman doubles over, and Tytan lets fly with a downward elbow on to her back. Firewoman drops to one knee. Tytan kicks again at her shoulder, knocking her down. He flips her over for the pin, but, again, it's early, and she kicks out quickly. Both wrestlers get to their feet and stare each other down. Firewoman makes some sort of comment, and whatever it was, it doesn't sit too well with Tytan who lands a HUGE Bitchslap of Disrespect, that spins Firewoman around 180 degrees. He grabs her from behind and gets her into a Full Nelson. Firewoman struggles for a bit, but while no one could break the Master Lock, they were clearly just not thinking. Firewoman takes a giant step forward, while grabbing Tytan's fingers and pulling them backward. Tytan screams in pain, as fingers were clearly not meant to bend that way. Firewoman fires several elbows behind her, and Tytan loses his grip. Firewoman follows up with a back kick to the gut, that keeps Tytan bent over. She bounces off the ropes, into a Jumping DDT, complete with drop kick to the legs. Tytan is down, and Firewoman gets a pin for one, two...no, Tytan gets a shoulder up, and pushes Firewoman off into the ropes. She bounces forward, and Tytan gets her with a drop toe hold. Firewoman hits the mat. Tytan reaches down to pick her up and gets her into a half nelson. He starts to climb the turnbuckle with her, for the Crash and Burn, and she's semi conscious enough to follow the path of least resistance. He gets to the top ropes, and goes for the slam, but Firewoman is able to counter and push herself away. Both hit the mat, but not with nearly the force expected. Firewoman kips up first and heads over to Tytan, and begins to stomp, but he grabs her foot, and, somewhat awkwardly, begins to stand up. Due to his height, by the time he is all the way up, Firewoman has no choice but to fall backward. Tytan drags her by the leg back to the turnbuckle, and ties her up in the Tree of Woe. He puts the boots to her, for the HOSTILE TAKE OVER, especially targeting her ribs. Is Firewoman done? Tytan pulls back to the far corner, and starts to run in, but Firewoman digs deep and rolls up. Tytan ends up spearing the ring post. He pulls back in pain, and Firewoman sees her opportunity. She leaps from the top turnbuckle, and hits a HURRICANRANA. Tytan is down, and Firewoman goes up top again.

Firewoman catches Steele sneaking down to the ring, out of the corner of her eye, and shouts out to the referee. Tytan is still down, but he's in perfect positions for the Firesault. She stands, and FALLS, as Steele shakes the ropes just enough for her to lose her balance. Tytan rolls away from Moonsault central. Firewoman Orton-punts him in the head, knocking him back down, and then turns her attention toward Steele.

Steele gets too close to the ropes, and she reaches down and pulls him up by the hair. He stands on the outside of the apron, as Firewoman tries to pull him into the ring over the top ropes. When that fails, she grabs the top rope, pushes herself up, and bounces her feet off the second ropes and then between the second and the third, for a missile drop kick to Steele's legs. Steele flies backward off the apron. Fire goes to the top rope and JUMPS right onto Steele. She pins his arms down with her legs and just rains rights and lefts. Steele pulls his arms up to defend, but some of those are connecting. Tytan recovers, and runs across the ring to intervene, but sees that the referee has started the count, and is at 4. Tytan relaxes, and lounges in the corner, watching. The referee counts 6, 7......Firewoman gets off Steele and flips him over, wrapping his legs around her shin for a FIRESTOMP...8....9....Just as Fire gets Steele's arms pulled back and gets ready for the stomp, the referee calls for the bell.
WINNER by count out in 17:56 and STILL Intercontinental Champion - Tytan

After the match, the referee hands Tytan the Intercontinental Championship belt. Firewoman is LIVID, and goes into the ring after him, but he slides out to check on Steele, but still laughing and smiling at Firewoman. Firewoman grabs the ropes and rages, but Lucky runs down to the ring, hands her her jacket, and convinces her to get to the back.

POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match

The crowd is amped, as they've been waiting for this match for many months now; Poe defending the belt against Davin Moreland. “Notorious” hits, and the crowd gets their “BOO” on. However, the music hits, and no one is on the ramp. This creates more booing, and finally, we see Davin Moreland, but he just walks down, and climbs into the ring; wearing some non-descript long tights and boots. Most notably however, Samantha Darling is nowhere to be seen, and neither is any posing by the former champ. A closer look shows that he appears not to have slept for a month, and he seems to be completely oblivious to his surroundings. This is so off-putting, that the crowd puts away their “boo” button for the most part. They certainly bust out their “Yay” buttons though, as “Misera Cantare” fires up. Poe and Selena appear at the top of the ramp, with Selena holding the belt up as high as she can. Pyro goes off, poses are done, autographs are signed, pictures are taken, and it all culminates with Poe climbing into the ring and handing the belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower. He holds the belt high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell...WE'RE UNDERWAY!

Poe initiates the trash talk early and often to start; but shockingly gets nothing back from Davin. In fact, it's not “focused attention” he's getting back, it's literally NOTHING. Poe calls for a lockup, and Davin engages him; but Poe very easily shoves Davin into the corner. Squeaky clean break from Poe. Davin takes one step out of the corner, and gets SPEARED back into the turnbuckle. Poe busts out some Batista offense here, shoulder blocks, etc. Poe nails a Back Elbow, and Davin is ROCKED. Poe thinks this might be easy, and tries for a DIAMOND CUTTER, but Davin easily shoves him off. Poe charges Davin, looking for a Clothesline, but Davin ducks quickly and grabs Poe, and nails a SPINEBUSTER! Davin lazily hits the ropes, and tries for a HOGAN LEGDROP, but Poe rolls out of the way. Poe covers, but barely gets a 1 count. Poe, moving pretty quickly, is able to grab Davin and hook him in, and gets him WAY up...and HITS THE OBELISK! Cover by Poe, and that gets a LONG 2-count before Davin kicks out. Poe, in control, pulls Davin up, and assaults him with CHOPS (WHOO!) all the way to the ropes! He WHIPS Davin to the far ropes and catches him for a TILT-A-WHIRL-BACKBREAKER! That looked awesome. Poe covers, and again gets a long 2-count; this time Davin rolls the shoulder. Poe can sense it now, and pulls Davin up again. He's going for THE PENDULUM, and gets Davin up! Poe lets it go, but Davin slides off Poe's back and NAILS a LUNGBLOWER! Davin rolls to the outside as Poe recovers in the ring.

The crowd is doing a lot of murmuring; and not so much yaying or booing. This has been a weird match so far. Davin is slow to get to his feet, and doesn't see Poe busting out the TEXTBOOK SUICIDE DIVE, and Poe just killed Davin. Poe pulls Davin up and just beats the ever-living shit out of him, all the way to the STEEL STEPS, where Poe BULLDOGS Davin right on top of them. Davin rolls over bleeding. He leans Davin up against the STEEL STEPS, and jogs back a few steps. He runs, and NAILS a HIEROGLYPH! Davin limply falls to the floor. Poe rolls into the ring and celebrates, as Hightower reaches 5. Davin is on one knee at 8, and looks like he wants no part of this match and looks to the sky. Suddenly we see something snap, and Davin DIVES for the bottom rope, just beating the 10-count. Poe tries to stomp away as Davin gets in, but Davin is having none of it. He is to his feet, and just starts landing CLOSED FISTS to Poe's face! Hightower tries to pull Davin off, but is getting nowhere, and gives him a 5-count to cut it out. Davin beats the 5-count, and nails a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! Poe bounces back up, but Davin is on him immediately, hitting the BORDER TOSS! Poe bounces up again, but AGAIN Davin is on him, and hits a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, and this time, Poe is going nowhere, and the crowd starts to buzz as Davin heads for the top...SUICIDE LEGDROP! That might DO it! 1...2...thr...NO! Poe is JUST able to get the shoulder up! Davin looks to be a man possessed, as he pulls Poe up immediately and WHIPS him to the corner. Davin chases him in a hits a TRIPLE DROPKICK! Poe staggers a step or two, and falls on his face. Davin hits a Surfboard Hold, and then a MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP! Davin yells, and the crowd doesn't know how to respond to it; it's definitely mixed. Davin goes to the top and starts, well, talking to himself it looks like, as he's staring to the sky. He takes off and Tries for the 810!!! And he EATS CANVAS as Poe just BARELY got out of the way, and he's lucky he did. Davin landed hard, and now his chin is busted open as well. Hightower starts a count.

He's at 5, and Poe is actually up first, and he tries to cover, but only gets a 2 count. He gets up, and pulls Davin up too. He's looking to end it with the Crucifixion! He gets Davin up, and Davin SLIDES OUT THE BACK, and REVERSES INTO A BORDER TOSS! That was very cool. What was cooler was Poe Somersaulting in midair, and LANDING ON HIS FEET! Davin is simply shocked. Poe charges! Davin hits a DROP TOE HOLD and floats into an ANKLE LOCK! Poe simply can't handle this, and is going crazy looking for a way out. He makes a desperate dive for the ropes and gets there. Davin uses the whole 5-count, and Hightower has to literally pull him off. Davin, for the first time in the match seems to know his surroundings, and gets into it with Hightower, and it's a heated converstation, complete with a Point-To-The-OOWF-Logo spot. While this is going on, Poe is able to hit a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP! 1, 2, Thr...NO! Davin just does kick out of it, and scrambles to his feet just long enough to EAT A SPEAR! Now it's Poe throwing the Closed Fists To The Face and Hightower has to pull Poe off, and Poe isn't pleased. HE gets into it with Hightower, and doesn't see Davin get up, or see him coming, until he turns at the last second; and defensively hits a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Davin hits hard and nearly bounces out of the ring! Poe glares at Hightower and stalks Davin. He signals for the Crucifixion again! He gets Davin up, and DAVIN SLIPS OUT, and a shocked Poe EATS A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin can't capitalize, and both men are down!

Hightower is to 7, and Davin is the first to stir. He drags an arm over Poe! 1, 2, NO! Poe rolled the shoulder. Davin lunges and falls on top of Poe...1...2..NO! Davin tries to regain his bearings, and by the time he turns around, Poe has him up for an OBELISK! Poe covers! 1...2...thr...NO! Davin got his foot on the rope! Poe rolls off, frustrated. He goes over to the prone Davin, and Eats a Boot to the Gut! Now Davin scrambles up, and hits a RUNNING KNEE LIFT! Davin stumbles to the ropes and bounces off, hitting a ROLLING THUNDER! Cover! 1, 2, NO! POE is up first, and he's got Davin again. He tries for THE PENDULUM, but Davin REVERSES with a TOR-NA-DO DDT! Both men are down again, and Hightower is forced to count AGAIN. The crowd is going absolutely batshit. Davin gets to his knees at 6, and looks at the prone Poe. Quickly, he grabs Poe's legs, and locks in the SHARPSHOOTER! It's a little sloppy, but it's certainly on, and it's certainly effective as Poe is writhing in pain on the mat. We can see the toll on which this match has taken for both men; and Davin looks like he's struggling just to keep the hold on. It's no surprise that Poe is able to dive for the ropes and break the hold. Davin flops to the mat. Hightower has to count yet again. Poe is up first at 6, and limps over to Davin, who starts punching him in the gut, but Poe seems impervious to attack all of a sudden. He again seems to have lost his trademark cool, and pulls Davin up while screaming at him...THE PENDULUM! Poe hops back to his feet and gets Davin up one more time. It's time for The Crucifixion! He's up, and AGAIN Davin SOMEHOW slips out! Davin tries for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Poe just barely shoves Davin off! He kicks Davin in the gut and grabs him! THE CRUCIFIXION! Poe flops to the mat next to Davin and drags his arm over, and Hightower gives the dramatic 3-count.
WINNER in 19:59 by PINFALL...POE!

Poe manages to pull himself up by the ropes as Selena runs in with the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship, and hands it to him. Poe holds it in the air, and gets his ovation, and goes into a small celebration, as much as his body can take right now. He looks down at Davin, who is still out, and it can only be characterized as a bizarre look, because you can see disdain, admiration, disgust, jealousy, empathy, and self-pride all in the same look. He says nothing, and just ends up walking up the ramp to the back, “leaning” on Selena on the way. By this time, Davin has propped himself in the corner, and is trying to pull himself up. He gets to his feet, and just looks absolutely lost and crestfallen. The Louisiana crowd seems to want to boo; but instead Davin ends up getting his second face pop in as many weeks, and Davin starts talking to the sky again. “Walk this Way” fires up over the PA again as Davin makes his way to the back.

Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the MADNESS V PPV! Live, March 29th, from Springfield, Oregon! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! March 11th from Springfield, Texas

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