PETE: “I have to admit, I didn’t think it’d be you.”

BRIDGET: “Wait. You thought that I wouldn’t be here as YOUR OOWF world champion?”

PQ: “Oh no. That part I don’t care about until it’s me carrying that championship and ending this company for for good, but stopping OOWF cold … I admire how quickly you tanked the business here. Brav-fucking-o.”

BO’M: “Excuse me? I tanked this business? Oh no, you must have mistaken me for someone such as Mac Flasher.”

PQ: “Flasher would be a guy who I’d expect to ruin this place, but you … Holy hell, O’Malley. You win that belt and suddenly shows are late to air and we’re two shows behind. You are making my quest way too easy.”

BO’M *now standing and staring directly at PETE*: “Hold up. You come to me and blame me for this unexpected hiatus that the company took?”

PQ: “I’m not blaming you. I’m crediting you. You’re missing the point. I came here to rid this place of Jack Quinn, which I did. Now I’m here to rid the world of this godforsaken company and some of the people he held dear. You, traipsing around with your choir girls, winning the championship from Lexie just totally killed the buzz around this place. Probably chopped a good year off of the time I need to get the plug pulled around here.”

BO’M *now red-faced*: “Motherfucker! You listen here. I bled buckets to hold that title. I poured my life into winning that championship. I am a champion that people can look up to. A champion that earned the 10 pounds of gold that I carry. I am the best fucking thing this company can offer its viewers and I have the belt to prove it. To stand there and tell me that I’m the reason why it’s been a month since OOWF has been on the air is your quickest way to a funeral; your own. You weren’t on my radar before, but …” *BRIDGET clenches her fists and gets in a square-up stance* 

PQ *putting his hands out in a beg-off motion*: “Whoa. I came here to praise your work and this is the thanks I get? This company is full of psychos.”


BO’M: “Sizzlechest … Forget Firewoman. I have a new person who I’ll victimize in my first defense when we start to do shows again …”

OOWF Saturday Slam – March 9, 2024
LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia

• Annie Horvath vs. Angie Delpetro
Highly spirited, hot little opening match that served to put a bit of shine back on Annie with a number of near-falls off top-rope maneuvers, but Angie survives after Annie crashes and burns on a moonsault attempt. Angie sinks in a rear choke with a hand smother to get the tapout, though she leaves the hold on until Annie goes limp. Angie then tries to boot down the prone rookie before Katie Bardoor runs in to chase off the matriarch of The Black Hand.

Result: Angie Delpetro d. Annie Horvath, submission (7:43).

•  Lexie Darling vs. Carrie
Carrie spends roughly five minutes ducking out of any attempt at contact by Lexie to open, enraging the former champ and forcing her into a few uncharacteristic mistakes that allows Carrie to control and showcase her amateur wrestling skills. Lexie quickly centers her emotions before a running forearm strike leads to a leg lariat and then a Bitch Killer as this was never truly in doubt once Lexie got on her front foot.

Result: Lexie Darling d. Carrie, pinfall (6:31).

•  Zed vs. Pete Quick
Zed and The Rev. BRICK~! don’t seem to be on the same page as they enter with Zed shaking off BRICK~!’s offer of brass knuckles before dropping the object in the aisle. In a funny bit, Pete scoops up the discarded weaponry during his entrance and pockets it in front of the whole world, including referee Ben Coleman, who confiscates it upon entry. Zed fights with an early fire rarely seen from him, but is cut down with underhanded tactics and then overpowered by Pete’s plodding offense. Zed makes an extended comeback, getting multiple near-falls and showing a superiority in skill until Pete hits a low blow. As Pete shakes something into his gloved hand to set up a possible knockout blow, Mac Flasher sprints in with a kendo stick in hand and enough rib tape to make Dallas Page say, ‘Ease up on the tape, bro.’ Mac gets a few solid whacks on Pete as Coleman tosses the match out, but almost seems OK with the attack. Zed is initially miffed at Mac for costing him the match, but is briefed by BRICK~! on what was about to happen before Mac evened the score from a different fight.

Result: Pete Quick d. Zed, disqualification (10:17).

• OOWF Tag-Team Championship: Legion (c) vs. Sandra Fallon and TBD
The champs enter first to add to the suspense of the mystery partner until Sandra walks out alone. As she’s about halfway down the aisle, a masked gorilla, or at least a human in a masked-gorilla costume races down and dazzles the crowd with a pair of monkey flips on the champs before gorilla-pressing Liam onto Nigel on the outside. Sandra, just as confused as everyone else watches on before heading to her corner and grabbing the tag rope. The mystery partner, anointed ‘Lucharilla’ by fan chants flusters the champs as they protest the possibility that Mac Flasher is under the suit. Mac, still carrying the kendo stick from earlier, dispels that theory when he strolls out to offer support to Sandra and her mystery tag partner. Lucharilla gets in a spot of trouble when a top-rope splash gets nothing but canvas. Legion works over the mystery opponent, trying to take off the lucha mask at least before Sandra runs in to make a few saves, and subsequently get walked back to her corner. Lucharilla fights their way to a tag with Sandra running in with right hands for anyone linked to The Black Hand. She connects on a Maliblu Thunder Bomb on Liam that gets 2.9 before Nigel makes a desperation save. That draws in Lucharilla as Davis Hightower loses control of matters. Stereo monkey flips, as Sandra is picking up what Lucharilla is about leads to Nigel and Liam sandwiching Hightower in the center of the ring. Pete Quick then darts in, only to eat more kendo stick from Mac. In the chaos, Liam – with his own loaded glove –  clocks Sandra and falls on top of her, securing a cheap victory for the champs after Hightower’s groggy count. Afterward, Pete is saved by OOWF officials after Mac’s kendo stick beatdown led to an attempted Flash Drive on top of the ramp.

Result: Legion d. Sandra Fallon and Lucharilla, pinfall (11:56).

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio
Nuke’s frustrations continue as he cannot string together much of an attack against the much quicker Kylie, who just sticks and ducks to add to Nuke’s woes. Nuke, working a character arc where his confidence is shaken despite his father’s encouragement, misses a corner splash allowing Kylie to get a rollup pin, despite what appears to be Nuke’s right arm under the ropes. Nuke’s visible anger leads to a tantrum where ringside furniture is not safe, causing Adam Jennings to head for higher ground as if he’s seen this side of his son before, until a wild chair swing hits the bottom rope and bounces back to hit him flush in the face.

Result: Kylie Mignolio d. Nuke, pinfall (3:19).

• Alexander Darling vs. Harper
Carrie jumps Alexander during his entrance as Harper – already in the ring – runs down to join. Alexander seems to be holding his own until Harper jabs him in the throat with what appears to be a conductor’s baton. The beatdown doesn’t get too far, however, with Lexie warding off The One-Notes. Alexander, though, wants no part of Lexie’s help in warding off tacks or getting him to a standing base as he promptly shoves past her and heads to the back. The One-Notes announce that they want The Darling Twins in two weeks, arguing that they will run rings around the disjointed siblings. Lexie brashly accepts and then immediately appears uneasy about the idea with Alexander nowhere to be seen. 

Result: Alexander Darling vs. Harper, no contest (0:00).

•  The Brothers Mangyuniku and Meredith “Beans” Samuels vs. Banned From Everywhere and Sean Franklin
The two stories in this one are Sean’s continued temptations into tapping into his heel tendencies, which are encouraged by The Rev. BRICK~!, and the developing tensions – competitive and romantic – between Beans and Jeff. Sean is none too happy with Awesome Bill and Justin competing to have a “good old time” while Jeff and Beans are having a can-you-top-this sequence, using poor Justin as the unfortunate victim of the string of attacks ranging from throws and suplexes to big-time strikes. Shizuru-Mune finally gets in the ring and unloads a Dream Maker on Justin, who isn’t legal after a Sean blind tag. Sean rolls up the unsuspecting Shizuru-Mune and gets a heaping helping of trunks to secure the flash win. Awesome Bill, who saw the whole thing, questions Sean and gets a wanking motion from the rookie as he walks off with Rev. BRICK~! in celebration.

Result: Banned From Everywhere and Sean Franklin d. The Brothers Mangyuniku and Meredith “Beans” Samuels, pinfall (9:17).

• Non-title match: Bridget O’Malley vs. PORK
PORK, with every fan in the building seemingly on his side, barrels through the champion with aplomb, using a series of power moves to batter Bridget and send a message to any members of the championship committee watching as he motions his hands around his waist – though the current title might need to gain extensions to fit around PORK’s waist. Bridget gets control after raking PORK’s eyes while upside-down in an delayed vertical suplex. Bridget works a series of hamstring kicks and then focuses on PORK’s injured knee as if she actually owns it and PORK is behind on rental fees. Bridget, outweighed by 200 pounds, can’t get PORK off the ground for a stretch muffler, but improvises by draping his knee over the bottom rope before torquing his ankle from the outside through multiple counts of 4 by Mel Creech. With the crowd egging him on, PORK gets to a standing base and regains control after a forearm uppercut and a running powerslam. His knee gives out on a Vader Bomb attempt, allowing Bridget to crank on a kneebar in the middle of the ring that PORK cannot escape with only one good leg. PORK, despite a large amount of encouraging cheers. eventually succumbs to the pain and passes out to deflate the crowd. Afterward, Bridget grabs a mic to pound home the fact that she will not defend the title unless the first defense is against Firewoman while reminding everyone that the clock is ticking to her April 6 deadline for the current OOWF GM.  

Result: Bridget O’Malley d. PORK, referee stoppage (16:06).

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge
Katie wants a brawl to start and Beverly is surprisingly game, holding her own until the champ hits a heavy headbutt that draws groans from the crowd after the cracking thud. Katie controls with a deliberate attack that sees Beverly a beat behind in covering her face or torso, depending on where the strike is headed. Beverly does catch a spinning elbow and pull Katie into a Le Bell Lock try that is broken quickly thanks to the proximity to the ropes. With Katie taking a powder, Beverly teases a plancha before hitting a sliding dropkick that pushes Katie into the barricade. The two then brawl around the ring, using various plunder, or at least trying to with no actual contact. Beverly, aware of the count, rolls in at 9 as Katie is just a step too slow. The result and lack of title change are announced as Angie Delpetro nails Katie from behind with a collapsable baton and starts a ringside beatdown with the discarded plunder at her disposal. The beating continues until Beverly confronts Angie, who swings wildly with a chair and gets it superkicked back into her face. Beverly chases Angie off before checking on Katie, who is blinded by a cut bleeding into her eyes leading to Katie delivering a knockout punch to Beverly until she realizes that her target wasn’t Angie. The rarely remorseful Katie apologizes as Beverly comes to, but has to ward off an angry Beverly with the feed cutting out as security runs down to separate the two.

Result: Beverly Cambridge d. Katie Bardoor, count out (8:48).

OOWF Saturday Slam – Feb. 24, 2024
LIVE! from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
• PORK and Meredith “Beans” Samuels vs. The Electric Company … Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox and Jeff Mangyuniku vs. The Electric Company
Cute bit to start as The Electric Company pulls their union cards and claim that they can’t work a double-shift before exiting the ring. Well, I guess that takes care of that careless booking error. PORK and Beans and The Brothers Mangyuniku shrug and start the unplanned match proper as it proves to be a showcase for the younger members of each team as Jeff shows off his improved power game, deadlifting the 385-pound PORK at one point to wild applause. Beans counters with a perpetual offense dual-corner spot a few minutes later, competing 10 circuits between corner runs to Jeff and Shizuru-Mune. This goes the full 20 with neither team getting more than a flash near-fall. All four shake hands in the ring afterward and egg the crowd on in their desire to see more of this pairing.

Result: Time-limit draw (20:00).

• Lexie Darling vs. Harper
The former champion runs through Harper without much issue, absorbing a few strong – and brutally stiff – strikes before wrestling rings around the O’Malley lackey. Lexie taps out Harper with a Darling Clutch, pushing the limits of Angelo Barros’ patience after the bell as numerous five-counts can’t get the hold broken, but even Barros knew not to actually reverse the decision.

Result: Lexie Darling d. Harper, submission (5:27).

• Sean Franklin vs. Pete Quick
As the bell rings, Pete quickly goes for a roll-up pin, but Sean quickly kicks out and shakes his head at Pete. Sean quickly takes control of the match, tossing Pete around with reckless abandon. Pete needs a little extra time to stand up from one particularly rough suplex, and Sean sets up in the corner before nearly spearing Pete out of his footwear. Sean covers Pete, one, two, NO! Pete kicks out.

Sean starts to pull Pete back to his feet, but Pete slips in a rake of the eyes. Sean immediately sees red and starts unloading haymakers on Pete, backing him into a corner before Junior Hale steps in to separate the fighters.

When Junior steps aside, Pete charges in, but Sean wraps up and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. He covers again, but Junior waves off the pinfall, pointing to Pete’s foot on the rope. A frustrated Sean stands up and stomps away at Pete’s ankle, drawing more admonishment from the referee.

Rather than trying to calm down his client, Rev. BRICK~! urges Sean to finish the match here and now. Sean lines up behind Pete for the Lone Wolf, but Pete lifts his leg for a kick downstairs and doubles over Sean. Pete hits the ropes and delivers a knee to the side of Sean’s head, cover, one, two, THREE!

Result: Pete Quick d. Sean Franklin, pinfall (9:24).

• Alexander Darling vs. Carrie
Another Alexander no-show is teased until Carrie sings the virtues of the company’s new champion. Alexander rushes the ring with a chair in hand, swinging wildly and clipping Carrie, who crumples as if she’s been shot. Alexander pays no mind to the acting job, putting the boots to Carrie until Harper, still selling the extended submission, hobbles to to the ring to intervene. Alexander’s disgust toward The One-Notes is only topped by his disdain to receiving cheers from the Pittsburgh crowd. Keeping Alexander heel when paired against one of the hottest heel acts in the company will be a massive challenge.

Result: No contest (0:00).

• Zed vs. Angie Delpetro
As the combatants make their way to the ring, it’s clear Zed isn’t quite as 100 percent. He’s clearly game for the fight with a determined look on his face, but he walks to the ring with the slightest of limps, which has Angie licking her chops as she watches him make his way to the ring alongside Rev. BRICK~!

Unsurprisingly, Angie takes aim at Zed’s knee with a chop block as soon as the bell rings, but Zed (unsurprisingly) sees it coming and provides a theatric step aside. Zed grabs Angie looking for an ankle lock but Angie quickly scrambles to the ropes and Zed relents.

The two fighters lock up in the middle of the ring, and Angie is able to get the upper hand. She drops Zed with a clothesline, then locks Zed into a sharpshooter. Zed’s clearly in plenty of discomfort, but Angie releases the hold as Rev. BRICK~! climbs onto the ring apron to hurl some unsavory comments her way.

While Angie and BRICK~! stand nose-to-nose, Zed tries to slap some sensation back into his leg. Angie turns back around, and this time she’s able to connect on the chop block. She starts to pull Zed towards a corner, clearly with thoughts of using the ringpost against the leg, but Zed is able to kick her away and regain his footing. Angie lines up a kick, but Zed catches her leg, spins her around … Moment of Zed! One, two, NO! Angie is able to kick out.

Zed pulls Angie up for the GTH, but he can’t quite get all of it as his leg gives way. He still gamely covers for the pinfall, but Angie again kicks out at two. She quickly makes her way to the corner with thoughts of climbing to the top rope, but Rev. BRICK~! is once again there to intervene.

As Angie and BRICK~! are again jawing at each other, Zed grabs Angie and drags her to the mat, locking in an armbar! Never considered much of a submission expert, but it looks like Zed has this locked in tight in the center of the ring! Angie fights through the pain for several seconds but eventually has no choice but to relent and tap out.

Result: Zed d. Angie Delpetro, submission (14:15).

As soon as the bell rings, Zed releases the hold and rolls out of the ring, shaking his head and making a hasty exit with Rev. BRICK~! in tow while Angie slams the mat in frustration.

• The Woodsmen and Rory Thomas vs. The Battling Baristas and Nuke
Before the bell rings, Hunter honors a local Boy Scouts troop in the ring while Rory hands its scoutmaster an oversized check for $76. I guess it’s the thought that counts. The match isn’t much of one as Nuke refuses to work with “corporate sheep” such as the Baristas. Before Nuke can walk out, Tara splashes a carafe of what appears to be medium roast in Nuke’s face. Tara and Brynn exit to a smattering of cheers as Nuke falls victim to tandem and triple-team offense, taking a particularly vicious spine buster from Dakota that led to Hunter hitting a 450 splash and Rory following with a 450 of his own that got maybe 115 degrees before impact. At least he tried.

Result: The Woodsmen and Rory Thomas d. The Battling Baristas and Nuke, pinfall (6:19)

• Non-title match: Legion vs. Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon
The new tag champs are taken to the limit, but withstand almost everything except for Mac’s Flash Drive on Liam that got roughly 12 from the crowd counting in unison while Nigel tied himself in the ropes to pull Mel Creech away. As Sandra and Mac went to investigate the hubbub, Liam and Pete Quick, both with loaded gloves, knocked Mac and Sandra out from behind as a 3-on-2 beatdown started with fans screaming for Jack Quinn, who does not arrive. Eventually Zed and Sean Franklin, at the behest of Rev. BRICK~! charge the ring to clear out The Black Hand, who scored a massive visual victory in Mac’s coughing-up-blood sell after Pete’s repeated stomach punches with the loaded glove. Mac refuses the stretcher, but collapses halfway up the aisle as fans are now rabid in their hatred of The Black Hand.

Result: Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon d. Legion, disqualification (10:26).

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Beverly Cambridge
While Beverly outclassed Katie in the technical portion, Katie more than made up for it in the power and brawling end of this match. These two were determined to put on a clinic and Katie was more than willing to let Beverly carry her throughout. Katie scores the win after a top-rope German suplex spot where she got her shoulder up at 2.75, though replays show that Beverly also got a shoulder up before Misato Misawa’s third strike on the mat. Beverly begrudgingly accepts the decision but points to Katie’s title, implying that she wants another shot before too long. Katie nods in affirmation.

Result: Katie Bardoor d. Beverly Cambridge, pinfall (11:47).

• Non-title match: Bridget O’Malley vs. Kylie Mignolio
Bridget panders to the Pittsburgh crowd for what seems like forever with Kylie’s impatience getting the best of her as a dropkick from behind sends the champ tumbling out of the ring, bloodying her nose as the microphone partially braced her fall. Bridget trying to play on Kylie’s insecurities while also attempting to butter her up through most of the match is not something that Kylie is buying as the former tag partners eventually settle into a neat little match with Bridget cutting every come possible and getting thwarted by Davis Hightower or having the ill-gotten advantage reversed by Kylie. The finish happens as The One-Notes’ attempt to interfere is cut off by Lexie Darling and Alexander Darling, who aren’t too pleased about working together, but pair off anyway. Bridget takes advantage of the distraction with a rollup and a generous handful of tights.

Result: Bridget O’Malley d. Kylie Mignolio, pinfall (18:23).

OOWF Super Saturday Slam – Feb. 10, 2024
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• Super Bowl Shuffle Battle Royal (winner receives a title opportunity of Firewoman’s choosing): PORK, Meredith “Beans” Samuels, Jeff Mangyuniku, Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox, Annie Horvath, Rory Thomas, Hunter, Dakota, Nuke, Pete Quick, Angie Delpetro, Ona Jones, The Battling Baristas’ Brynn and Tara and The Electric Company’s Joe and Jamie.
All 17 wrestlers are in the ring as the bell sounds. The bulk of the combatants clear a path for PORK to get his hands on Pete, who promptly eliminates himself but not before shoving Angie in PORK’s path. PORK nails Angie with a pounce and then leaves her for Beans to toss out onto Pete, who steps back to let Angie hit the concrete. Pete barks insults at PORK as he backs away until he is stopped by an unknown-to-him figure. He turns around to see Katie Bardoor and tries to run before he’s caught and tossed back into the ring, where PORK, Beans and a number of other wrestlers waylay the already-eliminated Pete before PORK can toss him proper. As PORK celebrates the visual elimination, Brynn and Tara try to dump him from behind, but PORK’s weight and center of gravity make their efforts futile. While that’s happening, Dakota has lured Joe and Jamie into The Pain Cabin before tossing it over the top to eliminate The Electric Company.

Cut across the ring to see Annie cornered by Nuke, who charges with Give ‘Em the Boot, only for Annie to duck it as Nuke drapes himself over the ropes. Within a few seconds, Shizuru-Mune and Jeff have dumped Nuke to the outside as Annie taunts. Annie turns around and eats a forearm from Ona, who tries to lift Annie over the ropes, only for Bryan and Tara – having given up on PORK – to sneak in to drop both to the outside. Ona and Annie continue their scrap around the ring, prompting officials to break up the two rookies. Rory, who has done well enough to avoid contact so far, looks around to see that he’s alone among four tag teams. With Brynn and Tara backing the red-headed youngster into a corner, Hunter springs off the ropes to crash into both Baristas, while Dakota has Rory a golden kazoo. Hunter and Jeff pair off with Brynn and Tara, respectively, while Shizuru-Mune tries his hand at PORK, only to not get too far before Jeff pulls him away.

Beans and Dakota start exchanging blows with Beans staggering Dakota before a dropkick sends the larger of The Woodsmen over the top, but onto the apron. Jeff charges at Dakota, only to get cut off by Rory, who has somehow changed into a scouting uniform without having exited the ring.

Razz: “Is Rory now a Woodsman?”
Russ: “Where I’m from, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might be an Ohioan with a kazoo who thinks he’s now a Woodsman.”

Rory and Jeff battle near the ropes with Dakota joining the fray to shift the numbers game against Jeff as he’s hanging onto the top rope for dear life before Shizuru-Mune sacrifices himself by cannonballing into Rory and Dakota, sending all three tumbling over as Jeff skins the cat back into the ring, only to eat a forearm smash from Hunter. As Jeff and Hunter brawl, Brynn and Tara attempt a sneak attack, only for Jeff and Hunter to break apart their scrap to leave nothing but the air over the top rope for the Baristas to hit as they both crash and burn on the outside.

Hunter and Jeff assess the situation and decide to both try to work over Beans, who easily fights past Hunter, sending him reeling with a left hook. With Hunter stumbling, PORK scoops him out with ease, leaving Jeff to battle in a 2-on-1 situation. PORK charges at Jeff, but misses as his impact in the corner causes the ring to move about a half foot. Jeff tries a belly-to-back suplex on PORK, who holds onto the ropes in the corner until Beans hits a super kick to the back of Jeff’s head. With Jeff out on his feet, Beans and PORK work quickly to eliminate Jeff. Beans squares up to throw hands at her father until PORK diffuses the situation and offers a handshake with a split victory. Beans thinks about it before hugging PORK as Katie returns to ringside to celebrate with both combatants. PORK explains to lead official Davis Hightower that he and Beans will split the victory, leading to Hightower calling for the bell.

Your winners of a title opportunity of Firewoman’s choosing (elimination, 11:47), Meredith “Beans” Samuels and PORK.

PORK, who is still uneasy about his daughter wrestling for a living, hugs Beans again and points to the cage above the ring for later and then motions around his waist implying that he and Beans will get the winner.

Razz: “That’s all well and good that PORK thinks he and Beans will get a shot at the tag titles, but that’s Firewoman’s call. For all we know, they could be in a three-way match for a singles title in the PHWF. It’s not PORK’s decision at this point.”

• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. The One-Notes
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” plays with Carrie and Harper standing proudly atop the ramp in their pink jackets. The One-Notes walk confidently to the ring. Carrie and Harper taunt ringside fans with the black/yellow Air Jordan 1s that Harmony had stolen from Mac before “Surf Wax America” plays with Sandra Fallon rushing toward the rung with clingy pole in hand, swinging wildly, but not making contact as Carrie and Harper bail out. “I Get Wet” plays with Mac meeting The One-Notes on the outside, triggering a brawl that Mel Creech passively breaks up before instructing at least one member of each team to take it inside the ring. Carrie and Sandra take it inside as Harper and Mac unleash haymakers on each other. With Carrie and Sandra inside, Creech asks for the bell as Carrie tries to outwrestle Sandra, but the Californian plants her feet and will not budge as the smaller Carrie tries a go-behind takedown. Carrie rakes the eyes from behind and wraps Sandra in a small package that gets 2. Sandra avoids another pinning predicament as she steps out of a rollup try, despite Carrie having an obvious amount of Sandra’s wetsuit in her hand. Creech admonishes Carries, who tags out to Harper, who rushes through Sandra with a shoulder block and then another. A standing splash gets nothing as Sandra rolls away and tags Mac, who runs wild through Harper and even bumps Carrie off of the apron, pausing for a second to look at the stolen sneakers. This gives Harper a chance to splash Mac from behind, crumbling him to the mat in The One-Notes’ corner.

Russ: “Mac took his eyes away from a dangerous opponent for a second, and it cost him dearly.”
Razz: “Mac has plenty of sneakers, including the Converse All-Stars that he’s wearing now! Let Harmony have those Jordan 1s. They at least know that Jordan is the G.O.A.T., not like Mac and his LeBron take.”

Harper pounds away at a woozy Mac in the corner with Carrie taunting Mac with the sneakers. Mac tries to swipe at Carrie, giving Harper enough of an opening to rear back and fire a headbutt under Mac’s chin, leaving him gasping for air. The One-Notes work quick tags and non-tags to keep Mac cornered, finishing the flurry with a double corner splash that has Mac seeing stars. Harper tries a tornado DDT, but is tossed off and across the ring with Mac falling to the mat and almost fully across the ring from Sandra. With Sandra banging her hand on the nearest turnbuckle pad, Mac begins the slow crawl over, getting about two-thirds oft the way to his corner before Carrie rushes over and drills Sandra off of the apron with a forearm. Mac is then pulled away by Harper, who locks him in a Boston Crab. As Harper wrenches back, Mac tries desperately to reach for the ropes that are just out of reach. Mac begins to crawl toward the ropes almost getting his fingertips on a nearby bottom rope before Carrie pushes it away from Mac’s hand with her boot. Mac is about to tap out just as Sandra barrels back into the ring, with clangy pole in hand, and waylays Harper with Creech signaling for the bell.

Your winners (disqualification, 9:55), The One-Notes!

A wild post-match brawl ensues as Sandra swings for the fences on Harper and then Carrie as Mac rushes to the corner to secure the stolen sneakers. Mac has only a few seconds to enjoy them until Carrie sneaks in a low blow from behind, causing Mac to fall to his knees. Harper swipes the Jordan 1s and runs away with Carrie a step behind. Back in the ring, Sandra checks on Mac, who is very confused about Sandra’s sudden violent streak and use of the clingy pole in the ring.

•  Kylie Mignolio and Beverly Cambridge vs. Banned From Everywhere
With all four already in the ring, Ben Coleman signals for the bell as Beverly and Justin start for their respective teams. Justin tries a hammerlock that Beverly blocks with a casual judo hip toss. The two trade chops to a stalemate until Beverly unloads a loud chop that drops Justin to his knees. Justin crawls to his corner to tag in Awesome Bill as Kylie tags herself in. Kylie uses her speed to fluster Awesome Bill, eventually chopping him down with a series of hamstring kicks. A handspring elbow follows as Awesome Bill stumbles to the corner. Kylie climbs the ropes, but before she could even raise her fist for the count-along series of punches, Awesome Bill lifts Kylie off the ropes with ease and places her down without incident. Kylie tries to take Awesome Bill down with an armbar, but gets nowhere as Awesome Bill shrugs her off, sending her flying into the Banned From Everywhere corner. Justin tags in and tries working Kylie over, but gets caught in a 50-50 brawl with the diminutive New Yorker as Kylie fights her way out of the corner and into open space. Justin charges only to be tripped by Kylie as he crashes and burns in a rope tangle.

Kylie allows Coleman to free Justin, tagging in Beverly who waits for Justin to work the kinks out of his arm. The two tie up with Beverly whipping Justin into the ropes, and missing a clothesline only for Justin to stop in his tracks, turn around and mist Beverly with PCPL. Beverly drops to the ground as Coleman tries to help Beverly wipe her eyes with a towel tossed in from ringside. Justin’s proud smirk immediately vanishes when Awesome Bill admonishes his partner for such an act. Justin explains himself, as Kylie comes in and shoves Justin, who begs for forgiveness, apparently forgetting that PCPL shouldn’t really go near mouths, let alone eyes. Beverly is up to her feet and charges toward the group, hitting Kylie from behind by blind mistake. With Kylie downed, Justin dives on and gets a very unexpected 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 6:52), Banned From Everywhere!

Afterward, Beverly, still not able to see all that great, apologizes to an annoyed Kylie, who tries to take it all in stride, while Awesome Bill deflects Justin’s celebration. As that happens in the ring, Bridget O’Malley appears on the OOWFTron.

Bridget: “Kylie. It’s not shocking at all that you proved yourself to be the weak link again. It’s the reality that I faced time and time again as I carried our team to the heights that only I could reach. To think, you’ll be in the building when I capture what’s been rightfully mine since September. Finally, Josie will have someone in the ZeBevKy Compound to look up to, and so will you.”

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Alexander Darling
“King of the World” plays with Alexander walking to the ring with his usual lack of concern or urgency. Alexander enters the ring, blows past ring announcer Mike Elevenbee and match official Misami Misawa on his way to his usual corner perch. Alexander’s eyes can only be seen when he removes the hood from atop his head. Alexander glares toward the aisle as “War Pigs” draws out Katie, who is immediately jumped from behind by Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro. PORK rushes out to even the odds, but Legion is waiting to lay into the big man. Meredith “Beans” Samuels charges in and begins brawling with Angie, but Pete, who has already bloodied Katie with repeated shots from his loaded glove, rolls her unceremoniously into the ring. Pete grabs a mic as Legion and Angie continue to battle with Pork and Beans on the outside.

Pete: “Alex. Consider this a gift from The Black Hand. A weakened Katie Bardoor for you to rejoin relevancy with a championship in this company. You hate Jack Quinn as much as I hate Jack Quinn. It’s time to take out what’s dear to him, and that starts with his little protege. Think about it, Alex. You and I could rule OOWF in the way that you always wanted to, with an iron fist!”

Pete picks up a woozy Katie and rears back a punch with the loaded glove until a hand grabs him by the wrist. Pete turns away from Katie to see Alex holding his fist before unloading a series of rights hands onto Pete’s jaw. Pete is knocked down after the fifth punch and rolls away to the outside. Alex, who pays little mind to Katie as PORK and Beans tend to her, never takes his glare off of Pete or the rest of The Black Hand as the quartet heads to the back with Pete backing away while rubbing his jaw.

• OOWF World Tag Team Championship - steel cage match: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Legion
As "The Halls of Fear" plays, Legion make their menacing march to the ring, serenaded by a chorus of boos. As Nigel and Liam start to pace the ring, "Good in Red" begins to play. Sean Franklin, Zed, and Rev. BRICK~! make their way to the ring. Zed offers some parting words to Rev. BRICK~! before turning the championship belts over to Mel Creech. Once in the ring, all four contenders and BRICK~! from outside the ring watch as the steel cage is lowered into place.

Zed starts in the ring against Nigel. Nigel tries to overpower Zed and force him into a neutral corner, but Zed escapes and delivers a drop kick to Nigel’s back. Zed proceeds to whip Nigle across the ring between the two corners several times before sending him into the champions’ corner, tagging in Sean where they team up a bit on Nigel.

Nigel fights through this and connects on a spinebuster to Sean, then pulls up Sean by the hair and works him into the Legion corner to tag in Liam. Liam shoots Sean into the ropes looking for a clothesline, but Sean ducks and hits a springboard cutter, to the surprise of everyone in attendance.

The back-and-forth affair continues for several minutes, but eventually Zed gets worn down by Nigel and Liam and finds himself cornered in the opposing end of the ring. The challengers take this chance to look for an escape out of the ring, but Sean quickly interrupts that thought and pulls them down from the cage.

Sean powerbombs Liam, then catches Nigel and hurls him across the ring for a suplex. Mel Creech finally urges Sean out of the ring, but this momentary surge has given Zed more than enough strength to simply tag Sean in legally and let the onslaught continue.

After a sidewalk slam to Nigel, Sean looks to make his escape out of the ring. However, Nigel stirs back to his feet, grabbing Sean by the legs. Nigel settles Sean into the electric chair, and Liam comes flying off the top turnbuckle for a Doomsday Device! Nigel covers, one, two, NO! Zed breaks up the pin.

For his trouble, Liam grabs Zed and tosses him like a javelin into the cage. Meanwhile, Nigel is doing his best to treat the cage like a cheese grater along Sean’s face. At this point, Rev. BRICK~! at ringside tries to barge his way into the cage, but Angelo Barros standing guard at the cage door will have none of it.

A brief argument ensues, which quickly leads to Barros ejecting BRICK~! from the ringside area. Meanwhile, a bloody and outraged Sean has locked Liam into a rear naked chokehold. Just as Liam’s about to fade, Nigel charges in to break it up. Sean spots it, letting go of Liam just in time to plant Nigel with a DDT. Sean then pulls Nigel up by the hair and powerbombs him … and Zed hits The Answer!

Zed goes for the cover, but Mel isn’t counting! Mel reminds Zed that Sean is the legal man. Meanwhile, Sean has already spotted this opening as his chance to climb out of the ring. Before either realizes what has happened, Sean is already at the top of the cage. Zed makes the quick audible and scrambles to the side of the cage, urging Sean to finish his escape.

The crowd is on its feet as Zed begins his climb, but just before he can reach the peak of the proverbial mountain, he feels a tug on his pants from Liam. Now it’s Zed’s turn to take a ride on the electric chair, and Liam drops Zed unceremoniously on the top turnbuckle before he makes a sickening thud to the mat.

A groggy Zed tries to regain his footing, but Nigel knees him in the head to deter that progress. Nigel scoops up Zed … PILEDRIVER! Nigel covers, one, two, NO! Zed kicks out!

Zed tries to shake off the cobwebs, but Nigel quickly pulls up Zed by the tights … German suplex, but Zed rolls through! Zed with the roll-up, one, two, NO! Liam is there to break it up!

Zed quickly scrambles to his feet, staggering Liam with a dropkick before hitting the ropes … RAISE UP! Liam tumbles over the ropes and crashes into the cage. Zed turns around to return his focus to Nigel, who connects with a stiff right hand! Zed crumples to the mat while Nigel tosses something aside, Mel Creech completely unaware.

Nigel lifts up Zed for one more piledriver, and there’s absolutely no resistance from Zed. Piledriver, cover, one, two, three!

Your winners (16:22; pinfall) and NEW OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Legion!

As the cage is raised, Legion is presented with the championship belts and Zed is pulled out of the ring. Boos rain down from the rafters as Nigel and Liam raise each other's arms in celebration and their music plays once more, "The Halls of Fear" feeling incredibly apropos with the newfound state of the tag team division.

As the celebration continues in the ring, Sean watches on helplessly as medical personnel tend to Zed.

• OOWF World Championship*: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Bridget O’Malley
*interference of any sort will result in immediate termination of OOWF employment
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” pierces through the arena as Bridget is led out in a Gracie train by Carrie and Harper. Bridget, in a pink fighting robe, takes jabs at air when in the ring, doffing the hood from her robe to reveal a confident smile. “Radioactive” interrupts as Lexie walks to the ring, looking only at Bridget and paying no mind to The One-Notes as she steps into the ring before heading to each corner to hold the championship up high. As The One-Notes try to intimidate Lexie, Bridget catches sight of Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon atop the entrance ramp. With Bridget frantically pointing out Mac and Sandra’s presence, Alexander Darling busts through the pair before pointing toward the back, implying that he’ll take things from here. Lexie uneasily watches the proceedings while match official Angelo Barros takes a can of spray paint to draw a box for The One-Notes to stay in, at the risk of ejection from ringside. Alexander pulls up a chair beside the announce table, batting the can from Barros’ hand, motioning that he will not leave this spot unless The One-Notes move from their spot.

Barros rolls into the ring, brings the two together and explains the stakes as the two women do not break their stare, even when Barros shows the belt to both combatants. Barros signals for the bell as the two go nose to nose with Bridget shoving Lexie first, only to be pushed back by Lexie’s return shove. Bridget retaliates with a quick punch to the stomach and a bodyslam attempt, only for Lexie to reverse into a hurricanrana that sends Bridget to the floor. Lexie tries a dive, but Bridget yanks her off the apron and then slams her into the ringside stairs. Bridget rolls Lexie back in and starts working her over with forearms and then a backbreaker with Bridget holding on and pressing on Lexie’s chin as she’s arched over the challenger’s knee. That gets 2 on the pinfall try as Bridget confidently asks for a knuckle lock. Lexie gets the upper hand and then connects on a springboard DDT to break free. Lexie takes a breather on the apron, but eats a dropkick that sends her into the barricade.

Back in the ring and Bridget locks in a bridging hammerlock that Lexie fights out of, so Bridget nails Lexie with a running knee and ties her into the tree of woe. Bridget charges, but misses Lexie who pulls herself up into a seated position on top of the turnbuckles. Bridget regroups with Carrie and Harper, who stay inside the lines while Lexie keeps a wary eye on Alexander. Bridget and The One-Notes discuss strategy as Lexie dives in off the post into all three members of Harmony, causing Carrie and Harper to spill out of the designated standing area. Barros ejects The One-Notes, who plead their case to argue that Lexie’s dive pushed them out. Barros ignores the argument and points to the back as almost every fan in the building points in the same direction.

Bridget, who is apoplectic, steps into the ring and is brought down by a headscissors and then a somersault plancha that surprises even Lexie as Barros counts 2.5. Lexie goes up with a moonsault that hits knees as Bridget pops up and drills Lexie with a powerbomb for 2. Bridget charges a woozy Lexie, but eats turnbuckle as Lexie sidesteps her at the last second. Lexie tries a charm of her own, but runs straight into an O’Mallet. Bridget goes to the apron and tries an over-the-ropes elbow drop, but misses. Lexie goes up, but Bridget shoves Lexie off the ropes as the two battle on the apron and eventually the floor. Lexie wins the fistfight and rams Bridget’s head into the post before sending her back into the ring. Once in the ring, Lexie grabs Bridget’s leg and drives her knee into the mat repeatedly before locking in a half-crab. Bridget works her way to the ropes, but Lexie keeps hold of Bridget’s leg and winds her into a Darling Clutch with a flip-over bridge, giving Bridget nowhere to go. Bridget rakes the eyes to escape as Lexie falls on the mat beside her, prompting Barros to start a 10 count that gets to 6 before Bridget crawls to her feet. Lexie grabs Bridget’s arm and pulls her into an inside cradle that gets 2. Bridget pops up and stomps away at Lexie, but gets caught as Lexie pulls Bridget down into a heel hook. Bridget kicks her way out with her free leg and stumbles into Barros, who falls backward and hits his head off of the turnbuckle before falling in a heap.

Lexie and Bridget each see Barros down on the mat as Lexie tries to make her way toward the official, while Bridget motions toward the back as The One-Notes reemerge. They don’t get too far until they’re intercepted by Mac and Sandra as a brawl erupts on the ramp with security pouring out to break it up. Through the yellow shirts busts Kylie Mignolio with a chair in hand as she marches quickly to the ring. Kylie rolls into the ring and is about to unload on an unaware Bridget, only for the chair to be halted by Josie, who pleads with Kylie to not give up her career to do such a thing. Kylie sighs and hands Josie the chair before walking away only for Bridget to turn around and grab it from Josie. As Bridget spins around with Josie shrieking, Alexander leaves his chair and grabs the steel chair from Bridget, making sure to not lay a hand on her, but also ensuring that Bridget cannot use the foreign object. As Lexie is still tending to Barros, a dark-clothed figure runs in from the crowd and blasts Lexie with a blackjack. Lexie falls back as Bridget scrambles to make a cover. While this is happening, three men in similar clothing pull Alexander from the ring and work him over. With Bridget on Lexie, Barros makes an excruciatingly slow count, getting to 3, stunning everyone, even Bridget.

Your winner (pinfall, 23:50), and NEW OOWF WORLD CHAMPION, Bridget O’Malley!

Afterward, Bridget runs to the timekeeper’s table to grab the championship, clutching it tight as the first person unmasks to reveal Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. … The two Western Pennsylvanians hug while the other three break away from a downed Alexander before unmasking to reveal themselves as Roderick Strong, Matt Taven and Mike Bennett.

Carrie and Harper join the Britt-Bridget celebration while Mac, Sandra and now Kylie fight off Undisputed Kingdom as Josie stands in the ring wondering what she has just caused. Britt steps away from Harmony to walk over to Lexie as she’s just coming to to shout, “SEE YOU NEXT MONTH!”

The camera cuts back to Bridget as she is still clutching the championship with the biggest smile on her face while The One-Notes do their best to shield her from the garbage being tossed her way as the feed fades out.

The feed cuts to the interior of a cabin located somewhere further into the mountains of North Carolina. The door opens as Beverly Cambridge and Zed walk in.

BC: *looking around and briefly sitting her bags down by the door* Well, doesn’t this look nice.

Z: I’m glad you like it. I’ll admit, I was a little selfish picking this whole thing out.

BC: Oh? *playfully* That’s not like you.

Z: I know. I’m not proud.

BC: So what’s selfish about it?

Z: Well, for one, we probably could have gone somewhere warmer but I’ve just always imagined how nice it would be to go someplace like this where it’s just you, someone you love, a cabin in the mountains, and not another human being within miles.

BC: I think that’s pretty understandable.

Z: I also thought about looking at some … bigger places? You know, in case we ever do this again but with more of the others from the compound as more of a group outing? But then it just would have been too much space for us, you know, so I decided against that.

BC: So cold hearted.

Z: I know, I’m the worst. So let me try to sell you on some other fine features of this abode. For example, the view out that door on the balcony.

Beverly opens the door and looks outside, overlooking a scenic view of some of the nearby mountains.

BC: Oh, wow!

Z: Yep. I’m sure that’d be killer in the fall, but we’ll just have to tell Fire to plan her show cancellations better in the future I guess. We might get lucky and see some snow on Sunday before we head back on Monday, though.

BC: Is that … a hot tub I see?

Z: It is. Again, very selfish of me, thinking about my poor, achy joints in my old age, you know, like Sean is always reminding me about.

BC: Yes, I’m sure that’s the only thing you had in mind. That’s too bad, I don’t think I packed anything to wear.

Z: I may have taken the liberty to pack an extra swimsuit of yours in case this caught you by surprise.

BC: Oh, so now you’ve been snooping through my clothes?

Z: I don’t think we’ve been together long enough for me to feel that brave just yet. That was just ten dollars to Josie’s college fund in exchange for a scavenger hunt.

BC: I can’t believe you would put her up to something like that.

Z: Again, I know, I’m the worst.

BC: Any other surprises I need to know about?

Z: That would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it? But no, I think that’s the big one. Unless we’re counting the bottles of wine I brought.

BC: That does sound pretty good right now.

Z: Alright, well, I’ll finish bringing the bags in.

BC: While you do that, I think I’ll change into something a little more comfortable and start on dinner.

Z: Sounds like the start to an incredible weekend to me.

They share a quick kiss before heading opposite directions as we FADE.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Jan. 13, 2024
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• Kylie Mignolio vs. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville
Cold open with both combatants receiving instructions from Angelo Barros and shaking hands before the bell sounds. Awesome Bill tries to catch Kylie with a double-leg takedown, only for Kylie to elude with a cartwheel. Awesome Bill nods and tries a cartwheel of his own, but can’t quite stick the landing. Both grapplers smile as Awesome Bill gets himself off of the mat. Awesome Bill asks for a test of strength against the diminutive Kylie, who climbs to the seconds turnbuckle to get a smattering of leverage, but it does not help her a lick as Awesome Bill easily gains the advantage and then hits a backdrop suplex to pull Kylie away from the ropes. Awesome Bill secures a headlock and drops all of his weight on Kylie, limiting a possible escape. Barros checks the headlock as Kylie looks to be fading a tinge.

Russ: “It’s early, but Kylie looks to be in a lot of trouble.”
Razz: “Partner, when you have an opponent almost three times your bodyweight putting that weight on you, even something as simple as a headlock is enough to drain your energy fast.”

Kylie wills herself to one knee and sneaks an elbow to Awesome Bill’s gut to relieve a bit of pressure. A second elbow breaks the headlock with Kylie rolling away and greeting a charging Awesome Bill with a dropkick. With Awesome Bill stumbling, Kylie drops him with a meteora that gets 2. Kylie continues her perpetual motion offense with a pair of running forearm smashes and then a springboard crossbody that gets 2. Kylie strikes Awesome Bill with a pair of kicks to the hamstrings and then gets caught on a second springboard crossbody try before Awesome Bill hits a fallaway slam and gets 2 from that. Kylie is dragged to the corner as Awesome Bill signals for Go Dawgs. Kylie hooks her ankle outisde the bottom rope, meaning that only Awesome Bill leaves the corner on the running bulldog try. Awesome Bill lands on his wallet as Kylie hits the ropes opposite Awesome Bill and connects with a basement crossbody that Awesome Bill flips over and holds on just long enough to get 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 5:58), Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!

Afterward, both wrestlers seem completely shocked by the outcome before shaking hands. Kylie raises Awesome Bill’s arm and departs while the Georgian soaks in the cheers.

• Nuke and Alexander Darling vs. Annie Horvath and Rory Thomas
“Dream On” plays for Rory before “Anchors Aweigh” signals the arrival of Annie as the two rookies jog to the ring and stretch on the ropes before “Hate Breeders” plays to indicate that Nuke is on his way. The music stops as “King of the World” plays, but there’s no Alexander … Again. Nuke, a bit frustrated, walks to the ring with his father/manager Adam Jennings, offering to wrestle again. Nuke begs Adam to not join the match, signaling that he’ll go it alone.
Official Davis Hightower calls for the bell as the unofficial handicap match starts. Nuke taunts Annie, who is first in for her duo. Annie eludes a series of grapple attempts, getting quick jabs in when she can as she annoys more Nuke than she hurts him. Annie then hits a roundhouse kick that drops Nuke where he stood. Annie and Rory then hit a double suplex with Rory’s cover getting 1. Rory peppers Nuke with rights and lefts, getting caught with a chop to the throat when loading up a bolo punch. With Rory gasping for air, Nuke asserts control with a series of throws and a implant DDT that gets 2 before Rory can drape his leg over the bottom rope. Annie tries to rally her partner with crowd support while Adam gleefully taunts Rory as he struggles to get to his feet, only to take a knee to the jaw by Nuke as he’s on one knee. Rory falls out of the ring with Nuke following. Annie tries to cut Nuke off, but Adam grabs her arm only to get a headbutt for his troubles. With Hightower’s count ongoing, Rory is able to roll into the ring while Nuke checks on Adam. Hightower’s count gets to 10, bringing an end to this match.

Your winners (count out, 3:35), the team of Rory Thomas and Annie Horvath!

Afterward, Nuke berates a smiling Annie outside of the ring while Rory celebrates inside, totally unaware of a man in a black hooded sweatshirt standing behind him. Rory turns around and eats a Darling Driver. Annie rushes in to save Rory only for the man to toss her into a corner and follow with a big boot to knock her silly. Nuke rolls in to cost the man, pulling down his hood to reveal Alexander. Nuke, visibly frustrated, asks Alexander of his whereabouts. Alexander looks at Nuke, pats him on the shoulder and rolls out of the ring, confusing everyone even further.

• The Brothers Mangyuniku vs. The Electric Company
Joe and Jamie are already in the ring as “King of the Clouds” plays before mixing to “Party Boy Theme” as Jeff and Shizuru-Mune meet atop the ramp and run into the ring, bringing a fight to The Electric Company with Ben Coleman calling for the bell. Jeff easily dispatches Joe from the ring with a European uppercut while Shizuru-Mune puts Jamie on his back with a Dream Maker roundhouse kick. Jeff gets Jamie to his feet before looking at Shizuru-Mune, who nods with a smile. Jeff whips Jamie into the ropes as the Brothers Mangyuniku fire off a double dropkick with Shizuru-Mune making the cover while Jeff keeps an eye for Joe as Coleman counts 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 1:24), The Brothers Mangyuniku.

Afterward, Jeff and Shizuru-Mune celebrate with ringside fans as the younger, but larger, Jeff lifts Shizuru-Mune with a hug as the former executive reaches to the deeper rows to high-five fans.

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Justin Sane
“Insane in the Brain” heralds the arrival of Justin, who sprints to the ring before enthusiastically gesturing to the crowd. “Cut the Cord” brings out Beverly, who receives a similar response, but a calmer demeanor as she walks to the ring. The two meet and nod in respect before Mel Creech inspects the wrestlers and then starts the match with the point to the timekeeper’s table. The two tie up, but that’s about as far as the match goes with Carrie and Harper hitting the ring before starting a 2-on-1 beatdown on Beverly. Justin tries to intervene, but is clocked by a brass-knuckles sporting Harper, rendering him incapable of further assistance. Carrie holds Beverly up as Harper loads up a punch, only for Kylie Mignolio to tear down the aisle and pull Harper’s arm back as Beverly shifts her hops and judo tosses Carrie forward. The two teams brawl through the ringside area and toward the back before security can intervene. With the yellow shirts separating the The One-Notes from Beverly and Kylie, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville emerges from the back with Justin woozily charging up the ramp to get themselves a piece of Carrie and Harper, who graciously opt to allow security to escort them to the backstage area. Banned From Everywhere then hugs Kylie and Beverly with the feed cutting away to an ad for “The Woodsmen’s Greatest Hunts.”

• Katie Bardoor and Meredith “Beans” Samuels vs. The Battling Baristas
Brynn and Tara are already in the ring along with official Misato Misawa when “War Pigs” plays too bring out Katie, the OOWF Intercontinental champion. She stops halfway down the ramp to wait on her partner, Beans, who comes out to “Debaser.” The two unload furious slaps on each other with Katie staggering and smiling when Beans fires off a hellacious slap before yelling. The two shove each other to further the psych-up before heading to an empty ring as the Baristas have decided to take a powder before the match officially starts. With Katie and Beans in the ring, PORK can be seen making his way ringside on crutches, though he is able to put weight on his injured knee.

Katie offers to start for her team with Tara the first in for the Baristas. Tara tries to mist Katie with a coffee-scented liquid, but Katie just wipes her face, casually removers her t-shirt as the fans sing-song “Shirt off! Fists up!” Tara tries to back away, but is caught and then pummeled by Katie, who then tosses Tara to Brynn and waves the larger of The Battling Baristas into the ring. Brynn tags herself in and attempts to take the fight to Katie, who sidesteps a charge before delivering a forearm to Brynn’s lower back, getting a warning from Misawa as Brynn struggles to even stand after the kidney shot.

Razz: “Not sure why Katie is getting a warning for a kidney punch. That’s about the 10th-most lethal way that Katie could end you if you cross her.”
Russ: “Brynn, who is one of the toughest humans we have in the locker room, was stopped cold with one kidney shot. That should tell you all you need to know about what Katie is capable of.”

Katie tags in Beans, who keeps on Brynn with a barrage of chops and a running knee smash as Brynn is situated in a corner. Beans charges in with another knee strike in mind, but only contacts the top turnbuckle before falling to the mat in a heap. Brynn drags Beans to the Baristas’ corner, starting a series of quick tags and questionable double-team offense as Misawa tries his hardest to keep order. With Beans slugging her way out of trouble, her path to Katie is cut off when Tara grabs an ankle and drags her back. Beans kicks free and is thwarted again, this time as Brynn runs over and knocks Katie from the apron. Katie wastes little time in rolling back into the ring and blowing straight through Misawa on her way to Brynn as the two begin brawling on the outside. Inside, however, Tara misses a corner charge and is pulled into rear naked choke. A wide-eyed Beans ignores the tapping on her arm, but Misawa doesn’t as he signals for the bell and then tries to break the hold.

Your winners (submission, 6:59), the team of Katie Bardoor and Meredith “Beans” Samuels!

Afterward, PORK rolls into the ring to congratulate Beans with Katie joining in the celebration. Beans still wants to go after Tara, but Brynn is quick to shield her fallen partner, who is just starting to get her air back.

• Lexie Darling and Sandra Fallon vs. The One-Notes
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung By The One-Notes)” tests the throwing arms of ringside fans with Carrie and Harper confidently strolling to the ring. The pink-jacketed duo hops into the ring as “Surf Wax America” brings out Sandra, who salutes the cheering fans while stepping around the garbage tossed in the aisle during the previous entrance. At the bottom of the ramp, Sandra pauses and waits for “Radioactive” to play out Lexie, who enters to a very loud ovation. The champ shows her title to fans before a rippled curtain behind reveals a charging Bridget O’Malley, who waylays Lexie with a chair with repeated shots while Carrie and Harper get the jump on Sandra. As The One-Notes batter Sandra before throwing her into the steel stairs, Bridget pulls a microphone from her pocket and sits cross-legged beside an almost-unconscious Lexie.

Bridget: “You keep getting away with it. Each time that I have you where I want you, some bullshit happens. It’s Flasher or his flunky Rory Thomas. Two weeks ago, it took your emo-stage brother and Flasher’s surfer slut to deny me what is mine. All to protect you, the girl who claims she has no allies. All because you made some secret deal with Alex Darling because you KNOW that you’ll never be the champion he was. Each day you hold this title, it’s just another day that you wake up and wish that you were even half of the wrestler that Alex Darling was when he gave a shit. Lexie, your future is in my hands and I’m going to spoil it for you, it’s not good.”

Lexie tries to prop herself up, managing to spit toward Bridget, who laughs before dropping a final chair shot on Lexie’s head. Bridget then picks up the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship off of the ground beside Lexie and holds it as Lexie did seconds before the attack. Sandra tries to save her partner, but is easily caught by The One-Notes who throw her at the feet of Bridget, who then clocks her with the title, cutting Sandra open. Bridget then takes some of the trickling blood from Sandra’s forehead and smears it on the faceplate of the title before throwing it on a dazed Lexie.

Bridget: “Just like Lindsay’s injuries, what just happened to Sandra is your responsibility, Lexie. Soon you’ll have nobody around to help you. Harmony will make damn sure of it.”

Harmony departs as Lexie rolls over to see Sandra out cold and busted open.

• OOWF World Tag Team Championship*: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Legion
*Rev. BRICK~! is banned from ringside
Liam starts in the ring against Zed, and immediately goes on the offensive with a gutbuster. He stomps on Zed a couple of times, then delivers a cheap shot elbow to Sean on the apron for good measure. Sean is ready to storm into the ring right there, but Mel Creech intercepts him as Liam turns his focus back to Zed with a spinebuster.

Liam tags in Nigel, who delivers another knee to the midsection before going for a cover, but Zed kicks out at one. Zed drags himself back to his feet, just to receive a knife-edge chop. Nigel then hits the ropes and dives shoulder-first into Zed’s left knee, dropping him in a heap.

Liam continues to lay into Zed, then tries to scoop him up for a powerbomb, but Zed gains leverage and rolls up Liam! One, two, NO, Liam kicks out.

Without a moment’s hesitation after the kickout, Zed dives to make the hot tag to Sean, who barges in with a barrage of chops to Liam. However, Liam slows down Sean with a sidewalk slam, and Sean rolls out of the ring to regain his bearings while Liam tags in Nigel.

Once back in the ring, Sean nearly turns Nigel inside-out with a clothesline, then scoops him up for a German suplex. Sean looks for the pinfall, but it’s only a one count. Sean goes for another clothesline, then a spinebuster before another cover, this time getting a two-count before it’s broken up by Liam.

Liam returns to the challengers’ corner to allow for a tag, which Nigel facilitates. Only now, Zed has finally staggered back to the apron after the early onslaught, but Sean is a long way from home. Nigel slings Sean through the ropes before going to the top rope and delivering a crossbody to ringside … but Sean ducks out of the way and Nigel crashes into the barricade.

With that, Sean slides into the ring and tags Zed. Zed quickly scales the top rope himself … THE ANSWER TO NIGEL ON THE FLOOR! Zed pulls Nigel up by the waist and goes for the cover, one, two, NO! Liam is there to break it up.

Zed slams the mat in frustration as Liam returns to the challengers’ corner, then opts to roll underneath the ropes and take a walk to regain his composure. As Zed collects himself at ringside, Nigel is back on his feet and goes for another cheap shot on Sean, but Mel Creech is there to stop it at the two fighters jaw at each other before Sean finally pulls Nigel through the ropes and they spill out to ringside as well.

As Mel tries to restore order between Sean and Nigel, the crowd roars at a commotion on the other side of the ring. Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro have hopped the barricade, restraining Zed while Liam swings his baton repeatedly at Zed!

Sean sees this, grabs the nearest chair and wallops Nigel before sprinting around the ring to assist Zed and Mel Creech calls for the bell …

Your winners (11:51; disqualification), Legion!

Sean rushes in, but he’s quickly overwhelemed by the numbers as he falls victim, effectively going four-on-one against the Black Hand as a bloodied and battered Zed. As security rushes into the arena, Liam, Nigel and company stand tall over the champions who look much worse for wear but retain the titles on the disqualification.

• Falls Count Anywhere: Bridget O’Malley vs. Mac Flasher
“I Get Wet” plays, but Mac is nowhere to be found. After about 45 seconds, the feed cuts to the backstage corridor where Bridget and Mac are already brawling as OOWF official Misami Misawa rushes to the action with the bout seemingly underway. Mac throws Bridget into a stack of pallets, following with a Stinger Splash with Bridget staggering in front of some pallets and a nearby wall. Mac covers and gets 1 as Bridget rakes Mac’s eyes and begins to work him over, eventually lifting Mac in position for a piledriver before Mac can escape by shifting his hips away and then reversing with a back body drop onto the concrete. Mac starts to stomp away on Bridget before she screams “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” That’s enough to stall Mac for a second before Bridget sends an elbow up to Mac’s groin.

Russ: “That damn red-headed Jezebel! Playing on the fact that Mac may still care about her and using it to her advantage!”
Razz: “It’s all fair in this type of match. Bridget has a point to prove after just proving a point earlier.”

Bridget finds a chair and starts to brutalize Mac’s knees and ankles with it. An attempted Pillmanizer misses, giving Mac the chance to return volley with a chair shot that gets 2 before Bridget kicks out and crawls away through an exit door. Mac gives chase as the two are outside of the arena. Mac takes a wild swing with the chair that misses, but hits the outside wall. Mac tries to shake his jammed hands while Bridget connects with a knee to the jaw before picking up the chair and going back to work on Mac’s legs. With Mac down and out, Bridget puts Mac in a Scorpion Death Lock as Mac realizes that he cannot be saved by ropes outside of the arena.

Russ: “Mac Flasher grew up as a Sting fan, and he might be forced to submit to a trademark of Sting’s offense.”
Razz: “Please make this happen! Yes! The irony would be delicious!”

With Bridget pulling back on the hold, Mac refuses to submit but is starting to fade. With Mac almost on his way out, The One-Notes find their way into the fray, crouching down and sing-singing various taunts to Mac, who perks up just enough to take swipes at Carrie and Harper that miss by at least a foot. Misawa admonishes The One-Notes, who remind her that their presence is legal. Also legal, the clingy pole that connected on Bridget’s head thanks to a bandaged and enraged Sandra Fallon. Sandra then rushes toward Carrie and Harper with Lexie Darling cutting off the pink-jacketed tag team’s escape with belt shots. During the chaos, Mac tries to stand up with Alexander Darling walking into the scene. Bridget spots Alexander and tries to back away, but Alexander pulls her to feet, sneers and drops her with a forearm smash. Mac, pulls himself upright via Alexander, thinking he just got the help he needed to defeat Bridget, only for Alexander to connect with a Darling Driver onto the nearby chair. Alexander shouts taunts toward both downed combatants before leaving. Bridget crawls toward Mac and drops an arm over him as Misawa counts 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 11:40), Bridget O’Malley!

Afterward, Mac is still out as The One-Notes run in to congratulate Bridget, who has zero idea of where she is. Sandra rushes in to check on Mac while Lexie is more concerned about getting her hands on Bridget. With security rushing in to prevent a possible altercation, the feed cuts to the ring with OOWF General Manager Firewoman already in the ring.

Firewoman: “Fans. Thank you. These past 10 months since OOWF has returned have been incredible, but they’ve also taken a toll on some of our wrestlers, such as what you just saw. So, I am cancelling the Jan. 26 edition of ‘Saturday Slam’ to give our wrestlers a much-needed break, but I promise that we will make up for it with a special edition of ‘Saturday Slam’ that I’ve named ‘Super Saturday Slam.’ On that show, set to air from Asheville, North Carolina, on Feb. 10, Bridget O’Malley will face Lexie Darling with all parties aside from the wrestlers and officials banned from ringside. Interference on behalf of either wrestler will result in immediate termination. We will also see Legion face Zed and Sean Franklin in a steel cage. While fans may be disappointed in our Jan. 27 show being cancelled, you will not be disappointed in the matches that we have in store for you. The rest of out ‘Super Saturday Slam’ card will be announced on Jan. 27. Until then, we thank you and hope to see you then. It’ll be a great night.”

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID MESSAGE FROM THE BLACK HAND

<<we cut to a black and white shot of the OOWF arena on Christmas Eve, obviously it's been altered since it's snowing. In the background we hear "I'll Be Home For Christmas" softly playing in the background. We cut to the Black Hand offices and see Liam and Nigel sitting cross-legged in front of the fireplace while Angie sits in a rocking chair reading The Night Before Christmas. The camera pans around and we see Pete sitting behind a desk wearing a Santa hat, he takes a drink of eggnog, then picks up a remote and hits play. The screen comes to life

......through the magic of OOWF Arena security cameras, we see Katie walking through the hallways, most of the crew and talent have gone home, or are out. As Katie passes a large window she looks out and sees many around the tree, some singing carols, while others join the Woodsmen in their annual memorial of all the fallen pine trees.

Katie sighs heavily and walks on, she looks in the gym, it's empty. She walks into the Sub Shoppe, it is closed for the night. She wanders more and finally comes to Shokan Dojo. She pushes the door open, and it is empty. Katie looks around, she pours herself a drink and looks at all the pictures, then sits heavily in the chair. She looks up and a notices something. It's a new framed picture of Jack with Katie and PORK, the day they agreed to join Shokan Dojo. It's the only picture you can see when sitting behind the desk. Katie gives a half hearted smile, then checks her phone and sees no new messages. She sighs harder and puts her head down on the desk, the music comes to an end, and we can hear soft sobs from Katie.

The camera cuts back to the Black Hand Offices where Quick sits with a plate of gingerbread men. He picks up the first one, it is decorated to have long red hair and Trust Me written on it. Quick smirks and breaks it in half. Then he picks up a second one, a much bigger one, and breaks the leg off of it and tosses it aside. Quick wipes the crumbs from his hand, sets the plate aside and folds his hands and looks straight into the camera.>

Katie, I want to make this very clear. I am a taker. I see something I want, and I take it. When someone gets in my way, I will take whatever I have to take from them for them to become a non-issue to me. Your mentor got in my way and I took his head and turned it into mush, to the point where he will never wrestle again. Your tag partner got in my way, and I took his knee and destroyed it, to the point where he will never wrestle again. I have taken everything from you. You can't go home, the second you do, you KNOW what will happen. You have no family here. No friends. No one wants you here Katie. You are a pox on this company. I could have broken you physically at any point, but I'll be honest, watching you fall apart mentally and emotionally is the best Christmas gift I've ever given myself.

Soon enough Katie, the holidays will be over, people will go on with their lives, but you will always know that they all abandoned you. Your friends, your hometown, your family, your mentor, your tag partner...........just walk away Katie, save yourself further embarrassment. Just leave the title before you tuck your tail and run like a coward.

<Quick laughs and we fade>

OOWF Saturday Slam – Dec. 16, 2023
LIVE! From Raleigh, North Carolina

The show opens with OOWF commentators Russ and Razz sitting in the OOWF.tv control center.

Russ: “Folks, we apologize. The live feed for the December 16 episode of Saturday Slam never made it from the truck during the scheduled time. The technical difficulties continued overnight as a planned attempt to air the video in its entirety sometime today was compromised when the footage from the show was seemingly deleted from our servers. While we are scrambling to ensure that you – the great fans of OOWF – will be able to view this episode in its intended entirety, we’ll offer a recap featuring highlights that were shared through our social media accounts with analysis from Razz and myself.

Razz: “While the possibility of losing an entire show’s worth of footage is one that few in OOWF will accept without exhausting all possible options to retrieve it, we feel that we can give a capable recap of all that happened on Saturday.

Russ: “Without further adieu, let’s get to the key highlights of Saturday’s card.”

• Rory Thomas vs. Bridget O’Malley
Russ: “To be honest, this was a match that shouldn’t have been put on the card. With Bridget’s new attitude and Rory’s part in the mind games being played against Bridget, this was always going to be the rookie’s funeral.”

A highlight shows Rory firing off a series of punches in the center of the ring, but running the ropes and straight into a O’Mallet, spelling the end of any hope Rory had.

Razz: “You see here. After about three minutes of Bridget just working Rory over, Rory gets a few licks in and seems to be turning the tide, but then hits the ropes and gives Bridget a chance to drill him with an O’Mallet, Rory just had no juice after that.

Russ: “The youngster didn’t deserve what was about to happen.”

Razz: “Says you. Rory Thomas signed that contract. He wasn’t held at gunpoint.”

A new highlight shows Rory staggering around, and into Bridget’s chickenwing sleeper. While Rory tries to hold on as long as possible, his body eventually gives out as official Angelo Barros squeezes Rory’s free hand without response before signaling for the bell.

Your winner (referee stoppage), Bridget O’Malley!

Razz: “A dominant win for Bridget as she has made zero bones about her desire to get another crack at Lexie Darling. Making short work of Rory Thomas only strengthens her argument.”

Russ: “Then she went a bit further to draw attention to herself and this quest, continuing the attack after the bell.”

Another highlight shows Rory falling limp after Bridget releases the submission. Bridget smirks and winks at The One-Notes, who have joined their running buddy in the ring. Carrie and Harper hold a deadweight Rory upright and then lift him so that Bridget can get underneath, drape a leg over her should and wake the youngster up abruptly with a stretch muffler that gets a verbal and tapping submission, to no avail until Barros warns Bridget about a reversed decision if she continues the attack. Bridget drops Rory before symbolically wiping her feet on the downed youngster. Harmony exits with debris filling the ring and the aisle as they walk up the ramp.

•  Angie Delpetro vs. Annie Horvath
Russ: “Next on Saturday’s card was a styles-make-fights match with the precise and cold-blooded Angie Delpetro taking on the fiery high-flyer Annie Horvath.”

Razz: “People will look at the results of this match and figure that it was a foregone conclusion, but it was anything but that.”

A highlight pops in with Angie giving Annie a spine buster on the apron then gesturing to the crowd that Annie’s time in this match is coming to an end. Annie gingerly gets to her feet and ducks a lariat before delivering a headbutt that staggers Angie. Annie then hits the ropes and delivers a spear to Angie that sends her hard into the corner. Annie runs to a dazed and winded Angie and delivers a monkey flip that sends Annie halfway across the ring. Annie heads to the top turnbuckle with Anchors Aweigh! in mind, but Liam appears out of nowhere to shove Annie off of the ropes while official Mel Creech was checking on Angie’s status. Angie pops up, makes the cover and drapes her feet on the bottom rope, conveniently out of Creech’s view.

Your winner (pinfall), Angie Delpetro.

Russ: “The Black Hand showing us again that it’s never a one-on-one fight when one of its members is in action.”

Razz: “You feel for Annie, because she was maybe three seconds away from a huge singles win. At the same time, this is why Angie Delpetro is a former champion in this company. She takes advantage of what resources are available to her.”

• No. 1 contender triple threat tag match: Alexander Darling and Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio and Beverly Cambridge vs. Legion
Russ: “This one was wild and very hard to keep up with from the opening bell until well after the final bell sounded.”

Razz: “You said it, partner! In the end, it was the team that seized an opportunity that won the right to challenge our tag-team champions.”

A highlight shows Kylie and Beverly working over Nuke in their corner with Alexander charging in to protest the double-team, all while commentary reminds viewers of the extended run of double teams in the Nuke-Darling corner on both members of the Beverly-Kylie tandem. Official Davis Hightower escorts Alexander to his corner, giving Legion an apparent chance to stem the tide to its favor, but Adam Jennings grabs the collapsable baton from Liam’s hand, just as Hightower turns to see Nuke’s father on the apron with a weapon in hand. Hightower wastes no time in ejecting Adam from ringside. While this is happening, Nigel sporting a Bob Orton tribute cast waylays all four opponents before grabbing Nuke and power slamming him to the mat. Liam drops a knee from the middle rope and gets the needed count from Hightower.

Your winners (pinfall), and No. 1 contenders to the OOWF Tag-Team Championship, Legion!

Russ: “For those who were wondering what it might take to make Nuke and Adam Jennings sympathetic characters, you just saw the answer. It took a cast on an arm that has not appeared on the OOWF injury report to open the door for Legion to get a chance at tag gold.”

Razz: “Right now, The Black Hand would make some of history’s greatest monsters sympathetic. Though having been in the ring, those forearm injuries are a bear, so if Nigel sustained that injury in his work before OOWF, there might have been an aggravation and it’s usually better to be proactive in preventing further pain and suffering.”

Russ: “It’s just convenient that Nigel’s proactive measure was enough to stun for opponents long enough to open the door for Legion to steal a win.”

• Sandra Fallon and Mac Flasher vs. The Battling Baristas
Razz: “Before Russ jumps in and lathers praise on Mac and Sandra, I just want to say that the Baristas gave those two everything they could take before ultimately falling.”

Russ: “Razz, I was just going to say that those two youngsters had the biggest win of their careers on Brynn’s shoulders until Mac’s veteran instinct allowed he and Sandra to get out with a win.”

The footage cuts in as Brynn lifts Mac onto her shoulders with Tara going up top for the French Press. Tara leaps off, but is caught by Mac, who power slams Tara to the mat while falling off Brynn’s shoulders. Sandra charges in and clotheslines Brynn out of the ring before Mac, limping after minutes of work on his knee by The Battling Baristas, spins Tara around into a Duquesne Incline, getting the academic pinfall victory from there.

Your winners (pinfall), the team of Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon!

Russ: “A less-than-comfortable win for Mac and Sandra, but it was Mac’s quick thinking in a perilous situation that got his team the duke.”

Razz: “But they didn’t get to feel like winners for long.”

A video shows The One-Notes running down the ramp and drilling Sandra with a chair before working over Mac’s leg with the same object. Carrie places Mac’s knee in what appears to be an attempted Pillmanizer before Sandra pops up and snags a ringside chair to clean house before Carrie can leap onto Mac’s chair-shackled knee.

• Katie Bardoor vs. Pete Quick
Russ: “While Katie’s OOWF Intercontinental Championship was not up for grabs in this match, her meeting with Pete Quick had a feel of a championship bout on any of our great supercards over the years.”

Razz: “Katie is in that ring fighting for her life against the ringleader of a group that has made her life a living nightmare in and out of the ring. While she’s doing that, Pete sees any chance in the ring against a member of Shokan Dojo as a way to send a message to Jack Quinn.”

Russ: “Nevertheless, I don’t think this one solved a whole bunch as it goes between these two and the groups they run with.”

Video shows Katie, with blood streaming down her face, approaching Pete, who is also bleeding buckets and tied in the ropes. Katie stands a foot away from Pete and grins before booting him relentlessly, ending the rampage with a deliberate stomp to the groin. Pete yelps and then uses Misato Misawa, who was working to untie him as a human shield. Katie tosses Misawa aside, drawing gasps from fans who are aware of Misawa’s injury history and the possibilities if the official suffers another neck injury. With Misawa groggy, Katie and the now-freed Pete start brawling in and out of the ring. Pete drills Katie with his loaded glove to get a quick advantage, but jams his leg when a big boot attempt gets nothing but ring post. As Pete is clutching his knee, Katie roots around under the ring before pulling out Happy Deth Bat V. Katie jams the knob into Pete’s knee numerous times before a bell can be heard. Katie continues attacking Pete before the OOWF Yellow-Shirt Gang rushes down to pull the two apart.

Ladies and gentlemen, official Misato Misawa has disqualified both combatants.

Russ: “A dangerous situation, but Misato Misawa was ultimately OK. I’m just not sure how those two are going to settle things, especially as Katie is the lone wrestler carrying the Shokan Dojo banner with Jack Quinn and PORK on the mend.”

Razz: “Katie might be outnumbered, but it’s clear that she does not care.

• Lexie Darling and Lindsay McAllister vs. The One-Notes
Russ: “We spoke earlier in this show about Bridget O’Malley trying to get Lexie Darling’s attention. Here’s where she succeeded.”

Razz: “And just like she told Josie in the run-up to the show, sometimes to make an omelette, you have to break a few eggs.”

The video shows Lexie and Lindsay standing atop the ramp when Harmony, all three members of it, attack from behind. Bridget hits an overhead suplex on Lexie, sending her into the video wall while Carrie and Harper start a 2-on-1 beatdown of the recently returned Lindsay, focusing on her right knee. With Bridget having disposed of Lexie, she slowly walks toward Lindsay, but pulls out a microphone.

Bridget: “Lexie. You could have stopped this. All you needed to do was give me a chance to win your championship without any bullshit. You could have recognized that I am the future all-time greatest champion that this company has ever seen, but since I didn’t bend a knee to a Darling, I’m getting held back again. In response, I won’t bend a knee, but I’ll sure as hell break one.”

Bridget grabs the helpless Lindsay and places her in a stretch muffler, torquing her ankle while popping up and down. Lexie is unable to save her friend as Carrie and Harper are holding her on the floor, but ensuring that the champion can see what’s happening. A loud pop and scream can be heard as Bridget continues to work Lindsay’s now-busted knee with the submission hold. Lindsay passes out from the pain just before Sandra Fallon and Mac Flasher run onto the ramp to ward off The One-Notes and then force Bridget to break the hold. Lexie tends to Lindsay while Bridget smiles at her handiwork. Carrie rushes to hand Lexie’s championship to Bridget as Harmony’s leader looks at the belt before tossing it at Lexie and walking away.

• OOWF World Tag-Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Banned From Everywhere
Russ: "Fans. I do have some good news. We have been able to recover the main event video in its entirety. This match was a treat." 

The challengers get a rousing ovation from the Raleigh crowd, but the audience finds another level when “Good in Red” starts playing briefly. However, only Zed and Rev. BRICK~! walk out first, and a wave of concern washes over the Raleigh crowd as Zed calls to cut the music and pulls out a microphone.

Zed: “As much as it pains me to say this,” he starts before a dramatic pause that makes the crowd fear the worst. “This is Reynolds Coliseum. We’ve got to do this the right way.”



With that, he gestures behind him, as North Carolina State’s marching band plays its fight song and Sean Franklin makes his way out to a thunderous roar. Zed smiles and nods knowingly as Sean leads them to the ring in the building where he won countless matches as a collegiate wrestler.

Naturally, Sean starts in the ring in front of his hometown fans against Bill, and Sean feeds off the crowd to get the upper hand, powerbombing Bill before tagging in Zed.

Zed carries the momentum and gets in some strikes, but ultimately Bill uses his strength and turns the tide. With a Bionic Elbow, Bill staggers Zed into the challengers’ corner and tags in Justin.

Justin wastes no time at all, leaping into a Hurricanrana and grounding Zed. He then drags Zed to his feet and sets up the High Risk Headlock, but makes the mistake of running towards the champions’ corner. This allows Sean to tag a completely unwitting Zed on the back and become the legal man. The impact had its desired effect on Zed, but he still tries to get back in the ring before Ben Coleman is able to explain the situation.

Rev. BRICK~! sees the distraction and slides a chair into the ring, but Sean is too focused laying into Justin with a series of chops to notice. Sean scoops up Justin looking for another powerbomb, but Justin is able to counter into a roll-up just as Ben turns around, one, two, NO! Sean kicks out.

At this point, Ben notices the chair and questions Justin. In a bizarre scene, both Justin and Sean deny the chair’s involvement and even seem a little surprised it’s here while Rev. BRICK~! is doing everything he can to convince Ben that’s how his client was pinned. Zed walks over in hopes of talking some sense into BRICK~!, which nearly puts him in the line of fire when a less patient Bill crashes in from the ring apron with a Decatur Drop to BRICK~!.

Zed now finds himself in the role of peacekeeper, trying to reason with Bill who is clearly incensed that BRICK~! questioned the integrity of his dear friend and tag team partner. It takes all of Zed’s and Ben Coleman’s efforts to return the men to their respective corners

While all of this is going on, Justin has taken control of the match in the ring that 17 people in Reynolds Coliseum might be watching right now. Just when it looks like Justin is ready to put the finishing touch on the match, Sean sneaks in a low blow to hot tag Zed in just as he returns to the corner.

Zed gives Sean a quick admonishing look before charging into the ring and flattening Justin with a running knee. Zed goes to the top rope, looking for The Answer. He leaps, and the lights go out.

“DOOOOOOOOUUUUGGGGGHAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWK!”

The lights go out, we hear the whistles and clicks of a dolphin, the Taco Bell gong, tires squealing and a group of millennials shouting “Sheeeeeeeeeesh!"

When the lights come back on, Rev. BRICK~! is somehow suspended in a shark cage above the ring, Ben Coleman is out cold, Zed is sprawled onto the canvas after a crash landing, and Bill is standing in the ring holding one half of the OOWF World Tag Team Championship belts.

Immediately, Zed recognizes the situation and sees the look in Bill’s face. The torment from Legion, the destruction of the Nowhere Bar, Grille and PCPL Repository … Bill has found his breaking point.

Zed doesn’t even bother arguing with Bill. The hot mics pick him up talking to Bill … “Do what you have to do, man. I understand. It’s okay.”

BRICK~! is apoplectic but helpless. Sean is too stunned to speak. The crowd, just as much out of love and respect for Bill as fanaticism for the champions, is urging Bill off the ledge. Just as he appears to wind up for the money shot, Bill shakes his head and tosses the belt to ringside to a huge roar and steps back out of the ring, a roar that stirs Ben Coleman back to life.

With that, Zed quickly scrambles to the corner and tags in Sean before rolling out to safety. Sean levels Justin with a suplex, then elbows Bill to remove him from the ring apron. Justin rises to his feet for a quick counter, but not quick enough … LONE WOLF from Sean!

Sean covers, one, two, THREE!

Your winners (19:27; pinfall) and still OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Sean Franklin and Zed

The Reynolds Coliseum roars in approval while OOWF officials flood the ringside area to assist in lowering BRICK~! back to ground level. Zed and Sean quickly share a brief embrace as the championship belts are returned to them, but Zed quickly steps aside so Sean can soak in this moment with the partisan fans.

The celebration is short-lived, however, as “The Halls of Fear” begins to play and Liam and Nigel step onto the entrance ramp, batons in hand. They begin to walk towards the ring, but come to a halt as Zed, Sean, Bill and Justin all quickly spill out of the ring and form a unified front at ringside.
 

OOWF Saturday Slam – Dec. 2, 2023
LIVE! from Bryson City, North Carolina

• Nuke vs. Kylie Mignolio
Cold open with the two combatants in the ring and Mike Elevenbee announcing the relevant information. Davis Hightower checks Nuke for foreign objects and pats his way to finding Nuke’s chain, which is confiscated despite the protests of Nuke and Adam Jennings on the outside. Hightower’s check on Kylie comes up clean as the senior official calls for the bell. Nuke tries to lock up with Kylie, who is a step faster on each attempt. Nuke then tries to corner Kylie, missing a turnbuckle charge when Kylie scampers under Nuke’s legs and then dropkicks him from behind into the corner. Nuke turns around just as Kylie’s charges in with a monkey flip that sends Nuke to the opposite corner. Nuke steadies himself and eats another monkey flip that sends him to the original corner. The rookie groggily stands and catches Kylie before a one-step spine buster switches the advantage.

Russ: “A rare rookie-like move by Kylie, going to the well too many times.”
Razz: “She got caught, but there are times when you have that advantage, the fans are rocking and you forget your strategy for a second. I get it.”

Nuke shakes the cobwebs and begins pounding away on Kylie’s neck and back with forearm strikes. Nuke hits the chin lock while barking insults at fans and Kylie, while Adam taunts Kylie from the outside. Kylie tries to work herself upright, but a well-timed yank of the hair keeps Nuke in the advantage. Nuke then shifts the chin lock to a camel clutch that isn’t as effective as usual thanks to Kylie’s flexibility. As Nuke tries to crank the submission back farther, Kylie slides her legs free and flips her weight onto Nuke’s shoulders, getting 2 as the two tumble to the canvas. Nuke takes a powder outside and consults with Adam, unknowingly leaving the two easy prey for a Tope Suicida by Kylie as all three crash to the floor. Kylie kips up and salutes the fans before heading back inside the ring. With Nuke standing up, a ringside fan adorned in a familiar hooded sweatshirt slips something in his pocket and then taps Adam on the shoulder and whispers something in his ear. Adam hops onto the apron to draw Hightower’s attention while Nuke pats his heavier pocket and pulls out a chain, which he quickly wraps around his wrist before drilling Kylie. With Kylie out on her feet, Nuke steps back and folds her in half with Give ‘Em the Boot, getting an academic 3 when Adam points out the pin attempt to Hightower.

Your winner (pinfall, 4:02), Nuke!

Afterward, the fan doffs his hood to reveal himself as Alexander Darling before turning around and exiting through the fans. Nuke and Adam modestly celebrate as they watch Alexander depart.

• The Woodsmen vs. Legion
With The Pain Cabin already assembled, “The Halls of Fear” cuts the hum in the arena to signal the arrival of Nigel and Liam. The heavies of The Black Hand walk to the ring with a slow pace as the two never take their eyes from the ring. Nigel and Liam inspect The Pain Cabin before booting the door in, expecting The Woodsmen, but getting nothing aside from a note on the table in the dinette. The camera zooms in on the note as it read, “Nigel and Liam, apologies for missing your visit. Warmest regards, Hunter and Dakota.” Nigel crumbles the note with Liam flipping the table, all while a knock can be heard from the outside. Nigel looks in the doorway to see nothing. Nigel steps outside and into a spear from Dakota, dressed and face painted to match the outside blue barricade, that Legion walked past without noticing. Dakota starts pounding on Nigel when Liam steps outside to get dropped from above by Hunter, who is camouflaged to appear as part of the roofing shingles on The Pain Cabin. Gavin ‘Junior’ Hale shrugs and signals for the bell to start the match as neither team seems to be interested in fighting the match under rules of any sort.

Russ: “I guess we can add masters of disguise to the list of skills boasted by The Woodsmen.”
Razz: “They better hope that their little fun with camouflaging gives them a decisive advantage in this fight, because Legion won’t tolerate these reindeer games for longer than it takes for them to get their bearings.”

Hunter and Liam’s brawl tumbles the two to the outside while Nigel and Dakota trade hammering blows with the crowd jeering and cheering on cue. Dakota stems the tide in his favor with a series of rights before loading a bolo-punch left hand that ties Nigel in the ropes. Dakota blows past Hale’s attempt to step between the two and delivers more blows to Nigel’s face, starting a small cut on his forehead. Hale pulls Dakota off only to get shoved into The Pain Cabin, rendering him incapacitate for a few minutes. While Hale is down, Liam unties Nigel and Hunter joins Dakota in the ring for a hockey-fight exchange of fisticuffs, putting the fans in a lather as The Woodsmen are showing a fire that was completely unexpected of them. Hunter whips Liam into The Pain Cabin while Dakota delivers an avalanche powerslam to Nigel. Hunter then climbs the ropes and hits a top-rope elbow drop, driving the point of the joint into Nigel’s throat. Hunter attempts a pin, but the bell rings as Hale comes to.

Ladies and gentlemen, official ‘Junior’ Hale has disqualified The Woodsmen, meaning that your winner is (disqualification, 8:32) Legion!

While the crowd is not pleased with the decision, the two teams are happy to continue brawling afterward as the teams take the fight to the aisle where The Woodsmen seemingly get the upper-hand until Liam produces a collapsable baton and waylays both Hunter and Dakota. Nigel and Liam begin to stomp away as Katie Bardoor sprints out with PORK hobbling behind. Katie stands off with both members of Legion, who smile menacingly before walking past her as PORK tends to The Woodsmen with Hunter sporting a massive goose egg and Dakota checking in his jaw, wincing as he moves it.

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Alexander Darling
“Cut the Cord” plays to herald the entrance of Beverly, who acknowledges her fans, but heads to the ring with a very serious demeanor. Beverly stretches across the ropes as her music ends with “King of the World” blaring through the speakers in the arena. The spotlight pointed toward the top of the ramp reveals … Nobody. Alexander’s music plays through and loops again before OOWF Ben Coleman motions for the music to stop. Coleman then begins a 10 count that reaches 10 with little drama.

Your winner (countout, :10), Beverly Cambridge!

Afterward, Beverly stands in the ring just as perplexed as everyone else in the arena as Kylie reveals herself from underneath the ring as she supposedly was waiting to even the score with Alexander. The sisters walk back to the locker room, slapping hands with fans along the way.

• Non-title match: Zed and Sean Franklin vs. Banned From Everywhere
The OOWF World Tag Team Championship may not be on the line in this match, but there’s a definite buzz in the air as Zed and Justin shake hands before circling around the ring. Zed and Justin end up putting on a surprisingly electric display of high-risk maneuvers, with neither side really getting the upper hand before Justin tags in Bill.

Zed slows down the pace a bit here and measures his distance, not particularly eager to get thrown around the ring by the larger, perhaps Awesomer Bill. This works for a while, but eventually Bill traps Zed in a corner and lands a few elbows lifting Zed up to the top turnbuckle and laying in the old-school ten punch salute for good measure.

Bill and Justin team up against Zed now, and while the crowd isn’t necessarily against Zed, they sure wouldn’t mind seeing Banned from Everywhere pick up a big win here tonight and are starting to fuel them onward. However, Zed fights his way out of it with some strategically placed knees before tagging in Sean to get a breather.

Sean and Bill proceed to put on what some would politely call a car crash, tossing each other around with reckless abandon. Sean’s raw athleticism gives him an early advantage, but Bill’s veteran savvy kicks in, as he uses some leverage to escape a Sean suplex and counters into an Awesome Bomb.

Bill tags in Justin, who heads to the top rope … BANNED FROM SPACE! Justin hooks Sean’s leg, one, two, NO! Zed scrambles in to break up the pin, then makes a hasty retreat to his corner to avoid any further confrontation. Awesome Bill and Zed exchange a few quick words before Bill also heads to his corner. Justin slams the mat, but immediately goes back to the top rope, urging the crowd on as he heads upstairs.

Justin leaps … MOMENT OF CLARITY! BUT NO! Sean rolls out of the way and Justin crashes into the mat. Capitalizing on the moment, Sean scrambles to his feet, powerbombing Justin before tagging in Zed … HOUSE DIVIDED. One, two, THREE!

Your winners (13:52; pinfall), Sean Franklin and Zed

• Steel cage match: WAR PIGS vs. Angie Delpetro and Pete Quick

Russ: Folks, next up is a steel cage match between War Pigs and The Black Hand, Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro
Razz: Last I heard, PORK was going to be able to go, but I gotta be honest Russ, I don't see how.

"Kingmaker" plays and Angie and Pete come out, and they are damn near booed out of the arena. They sneer at the fans and head to the ring. They climb into the cage and Quick climbs the turnbuckles and soaks in the boos, then opens his eyes and looks at the luxury box where Alexander Darling is sitting and he grins. Quick hops off the turnbuckle and he and Angie await the coming storm.

"War Pigs” plays and Katie and PORK walk out to the top of the stage

Razz: Good gawd Russ look at that brace!
Russ: That's the biggest knee brace I've seen since Stone Cold. I am not sure this is a good idea for PORK

Before they head to the ring, PORK and Katie turn to the entrance, and Jack Quinn steps out onto the stage and the crowd absolutely LOSES it. Inside the ring, Quick and Angie sneer at Jack. Jack soaks in the cheers for a moment, then ever so slightly glances at the box, then he nods and Katie and PORK storm the ring and climb into the cage and the fight is ON!

Katie and Quick go toe to tow and trade punches, but Katie is fighting with a fury we haven't seen, and she gets the best of it and slams Quick face first into the steel and rakes his face across the cage until blood flows freely. Across the ring Angie is doing her best to use her speed to stay away from a very angry PORK, but he finally corners her and absolutely annihilates her with a clothesline, before sending her into the cage as well.

PORK and Katie spend the better part of the next ten minutes DECIMATING Quick and Angie, but Angie and Quick fight back, Quick catches PORK with a low blow, then nails Katie with an eye poke. Angie hits Katie with a Canadian Destroyer, taking her out. Quick hits PORK with a running knee to the side of the head and covers, but PORK powers out at two.

Angie climbs to the top rope, but Katie recovers and does the Angle run up the turnbuckle and takes her off with a perfect belly to belly suplex! Quick is momentarily distracted which allows PORK to hit a spinning fist to the side of the head that sends Quick flying.

With Quick down in the corner, PORK grabs Angie and PLANTS her with a powerbomb while Katie climbs to the top rope

Russ: They're setting up for the Pigs in Space!
Razz: If they hit this, it's OVER!

As Katie gets to the top rope, we hear a commotion. We see Nigel has Jack around the throat while Liam threatens him with a chair. Liam charges, but Jack manages to duck and Liam nails Nigel with the chair, sending him stumbling back, falling onto the announce table.

Razz: WHAT THA HELL RUSS!
RUSS: BY GAWD IT'S CARNAGE!

Jack takes Liam to dick kick city while in one amazingly fluid motion, Katie scales the cage and leaps off trying for an elbow drop on Nigel, but Nigel rolls off at the last possible second and Katie CRASHES through the table! Nigel grabs Katie and pulls her out of the wreckage and handcuffs her to the cage.

Nigel grabs a chair and is about to smash it across a helpless Katie's face when Jack dives in and takes the chair shot to the head, saving Katie. Jack collapses and lies motionless on the floor while Katie nearly tears her arm off trying to get out of the cuffs while Nigel and Liam put the boots to Jack. Liam grabs Katie by the face and forces her to watch as Nigel stomps Jack's head into the concrete. The camera momentarily cuts to Alexander Darling in his suite where he sits emotionless watching the carnage.

While this is going on outside the ring, Angie is back to her feet and she tries to attack PORK, but PORK moves out of the way and Angie slams into the corner, PORK lines her up for some PORK CHOPS but Quick charges in and chop blocks PORK sending him to the mat. Quick and Angie tear the knee brace off PORK's leg and repeatedly slam it into PORK's face until he is a bloody mess.

Russ: PORK is helpless in there! Katie is trapped outside! Someone needs to get down here to stop this!
Razz: This is a slaughter!

Outside the ring, Nigel grabs a bottle and smashes it over Katie's head, drawing copious amounts of blood. Back inside the ring, Quick applies an Indian Death lock on PORK, he applies it again and again as PORK howls in agony, finally, a white towel is tossed into the ring. The referee sees it, picks it up and looks around and calls for the bell.

Razz: Who the hell threw the towel in?
Russ: I … I didn't see anyone! There were no other seconds in this match! What the hell is going on around here?

The referee finally pulls Quick off of PORK and raises their hands. The crowd is ready to riot. Quick climbs to the top of the cage and invites fans in to fight him, a few try to climb over the barricades, but security stops them. Quick turns and leaps off the top of the cage and drops a knee right across PORK's knee! PORK spasms in pain, and finally the locker room empties to help Shokan Dojo.

Quick and Angie meet up with Liam and Nigel at the top of the ramp and celebrate as trash rains down on them.

Your winners (referee stoppage, 23:49), The Black Hand!

As they walk to the back, we head back to ringside to survey the carnage and we see someone in a black hood grab the towel from the ring, hop the guardrail and disappear into the crowd.

• Elimination six-person match: Lexie Darling, Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. Harmony (Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes)
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” plays with Harmony standing atop the ramp, seemingly proud of their handiwork. The trio lines up in a Gracie Train, with Carrie rubbing Bridget’s shoulders as they walk to the ring. Harmony enters the ring, getting showered with boos and concessions before “Radioactive” plays to change the mood of the crowd. Lexie, while appearing to be entering at a 3-on-1 disadvantage, barely flinches as she heads to the ring, but is blocked by Carrie and Harper at the apron. While Mel Creech tries to pull the two back, assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.

Shizuru-Mune: “While our efforts to get Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon out of their locker room were unsuccessful in time for this match, I cannot allow Lexie Darling to fight this match alone. I do understand that Lexie will be at a disadvantage having not prepared to wrestle alongside the replacements, I feel like they are worthy substitutes. Without further adieu …”

“Anchors Aweigh” by The Bouncing Souls signals the arrival of a very eager Annie Horvath, who dashes to the ring and has to be held back by Lexie, who looks at Annie before sighing and nodding her head up and down.

Russ: “I wouldn’t exactly call this rookie an acceptable substitute, but she was available when Lexie Darling’s regular partners were welded inside their locker room.”
Razz: “If Lexie wants to fight this fight, Annie is going to be one third of this makeshift team.”

Annie’s music stops as a pregnant pause overtakes what is usually a seamless transition between themes with Harmony pointing out the 3-on-2 situation. While the pink-jacketed ladies are in mid taunt, “Just a Girl” starts to play as the arena erupts.

Russ: “WELL IF IT ISN’T LINDSAY MCALLISTER! CLEARED AND READY TO FIGHT!”
Razz: “She might be medically cleared, but can she handle any kind of blow to the head? You get her lined up across from Harper and Lindsay might be heading back to concussion protocol.”

As soon as Lexie lets a smile wrap across her face, the new trio charges the ring and easily clears it of Harmony, standing tall and soaking in cheers. Lindsay offers to start for her side with Carrie the first in the ring for her team as Creech signals for a bell. Lindsay wrestles rings around Carrie, overpowering her at first before letting her speed take the wheel. Carrie, while usually a capable grappler, backs away from Lindsay and tags in Harper. Lindsay drops Harper with a dropkick and gets 1 on a flash pin try. Harper then seizes temporary control with a lariat and a press slam. Lindsay pounds the mat and quickly gets to her feet, getting straight in Harper’s face before having to duck a left hook. Lindsay pops up and nails Harper with an uppercut and backs her into a neutral corner before a handspring elbow. Lindsay drags the woozy Harper to her team’s corner and tags in Annie, who immediately climbs the ropes and delivers 10 punches to Harper and then adds about 10 more before Lexie tags in. The champion whips Harper to the Harmony corner and invites Bridget to tag in. Bridget obliges before turning around and tapping Carrie on the shoulder. Carrie enters with Annie itching to tag in. Lexie thinks it over for a second before giving the rookie her wish as she darts in, straight into a stun gun. Carrie grabs a heaping helping of Annie’s jeans, though it likely wasn’t needed as Creech snaps off 3.

Annie Horvath (pinfall, 4:13) has been eliminated.

Lexie heads in and checks on Annie before getting booted down by Carrie. Lexie doesn’t stay down long, kipping up and hammering away on the smaller of the two One-Notes. A knee-DT allows Lexie to twist Carrie into a Darling Clutch while looking straight at the Harmony corner. Lindsay dashes in to cut off any possible saves as Carrie holds on for roughly 30 seconds before slapping the mat.

Carrie (submission, 5:22) has been eliminated.

Harper charges in and shoves Lindsay into Lexie as both smack their heads together, drawing gasps from the crowd as Lindsay is shaky at first, but clears the cobwebs in short order. Carrie manages to clip Lexie’s knee in the chaos, prompting Bridget to want to take part in the match. Harper tags in Bridget, who immediately stomps away at Lexie’s wounded leg before dropping into a grapevine that gets screams but not a tap as Lexie is able to boot her way free. Lexie stands up while trying to shake feeling back into her leg as Bridget tries to shoot in, only for Lexie to matador her into a boot by Lindsay in the corner. Lindsay and Lexie take turns with a cornered Bridget as Lindsay finishes the assault with a shotgun dropkick. Lindsay drags Bridget to the center of the ring and calls for an Aussie Attack. Lindsay lifts Bridget up, but cannot hold her there as a rake to the eyes frees her from possible doom with Bridget crawling to tag in Harper. Lindsay gets to a standing base but is quickly shoved to the ropes and then a charging clothesline sends Lindsay and Harper over the top and onto the floor. The two begin brawling as Creech’s count is seemingly unheard all the way to 10.

Lindsay McAllister and Harper (double count out, 10:39) have both been eliminated.

The two keep on fighting, blissfully unaware of the decision as Lexie and Bridget stand off in the middle.

Russ: “If Bridget O’Malley wants another chance at Lexie Darling’s championship, she’ll have to do it by defeating the champion right here tonight.”
Razz: “Bridget has to be considered the fresher of the two in terms of ring time tonight. Plus Lexie’s leg might still be a bit gimpy after Carrie’s cut block from earlier.”

Lexie and Bridget tie up with a hair pull allowing Bridget to get leverage and a few forearms across the jaw. Bridget then hoists Lexie into a delayed vertical suplex and drops a knee across the throat to get 2. Bridget goes to a chin lock, occasionally moving hand over Lexie’s nose to temporarily smother her before moving it as Creech peeks around. As the crowd urges Lexie on, the champion is able to get up on a knee before Bridget snaps Lexie backward by her hair to slam her head on the mat. Bridget stands over the downed Lexie and taunts the crowd, only to get scooped up and nearly pinned as Creech’s count made it to 2.5 before Bridget kicked out. Bridget pops up and starts to drive elbows onto Lexie’s sore knee and delivers a series of knee-DTs before signaling for a stretch muffler.

Russ: “That’s the move that has won Bridget a bushel of matches over the past few weeks. Could this make Lexie submit?”
Razz: “Lexie is a tough cookie, but when you’re getting dangled in the air with the ligaments in your knee getting pulled like that, even the highest threshold of pain runs out quick in that hold.”

Bridget wraps Lexie’s leg over her neck and starts to rise when Rory Thomas, still dressed as the unmasked El Scorcho, stands at the top of the ramp. Rory holds a plastic megaphone as he encourages a call-and-reply from the fans.

Rory: “WHO’S THAT COMING DOWN THE TRACK?”
Fans: “WHO’S THAT COMING DOWN THE TRACK?”
Rory: “A PISSED OFF TEAM IN GOLD AND BLACK!”
Fans: “A PISSED OFF TEAM IN GOLD AND BLACK!”
Rory: “AIN’T NOTHING SCARIER IN THE LAND!”
Fans: “AIN’T NOTHING SCARIER IN THE LAND!”
Rory: “THAN A SURFER AND HER YINZER MAN!”
Fans: “THAN A SURFER AND HER YINZER MAN!”

Before Rory can continue with the sound-off, The One-Notes attack him from behind and toss him off of the stage before heading down the ramp where Creech hops out of the ring to halt them before security arrives. With Bridget protesting, she does not see Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon in the ring behind her. Bridget turns around and spots the two, immediately backing away and begging them off until she backpedals her way to bumping into Lexie, who lifts her in position and drives her down with a Burning Hammer, but not fully thanks to the bad wheel. Mac and Sandra duck out of the ring as Creech spins around, sees Lexie pinning Bridget and counts 3 while Bridget is out at 3.5.

Bridget O’Malley (pinfall, 23:58) has been eliminated.
Your winner, with survivor Lexie Darling, the team of Lexie Darling, Lindsay McAllister and Annie Horvath.

Afterward, Lexie celebrates with her original teammates as Lindsay and Annie return to join the party. Bridget throws a tantrum in the ruing again, shrieking that she had Lexie beaten again before Rory emerged. Carrie and Harper console Bridget with Mac and Sandra lifting Lexie on their shoulders as the feed cuts out.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Nov. 18, 2023
LIVE! from Grove City, Ohio

• Beverly Cambridge and Kylie Mignolio vs. Rory Thomas and Ona Jones
Cole open with all four in the ring as Mike Elevenbee welcomes fans to the show with Kylie and Ona starting for their respective teams. Kylie grapples Ona to the mat as the rookie reaches back to pull Kylie’s hair, only to get caught and reprimanded by OOWF official Misato Misawa. Kylie keeps Ona grounded and drops a few knees across Ona’s leg before tagging in Beverly, who stays on the leg until Ona rakes her eyes and crawls over to tag in Rory, who receives a loud ovation from his hometown crowd.

Russ: “The youngster from right here in Grove City, Ohio, is getting a welcome fit for a king.”
Mac: “Rory hasn’t been on the good side of a lot of results here in OOWF, but he’s got a heart fit for a superhero and he’s rarely afraid to go after what he wants.”

Rory and Beverly lock up with the rookie powering Beverly to a corner. Rory gives a clean break before Misawa can even request one. Rory lets beverly out of the corner before asking for a test of strength. Rory easily gets an early upper hand on Beverly before the veteran is able to leverage herself to a stalemate and then a mutual break. Rory the hits the ropes before Beverly sidesteps a shoulder tackle attempt, taking him to the mat with a drop toe hold. Beverly floats over and tries to secure a La Bell Lock, but Rory quickly gets to the ropes. While Rory scrambles to get upright, The One-Notes hit the ring and assault Ona from the apron before Rory comes to the aid of his partner. Kylie and Beverly also chase off Carrie and Harper, who run up to the ramp to join Bridget O’Malley, who has a mic in hand. Misawa has since thrown the match out with Rory tending to Ona.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee Misato Misawa has declared this match a no-contest (5:12).

Bridget: “Bev. Babes. We’re still waiting for an answer and this jacket with your name on it wasn’t cheap. Leave the deadweight sister of yours behind like I did and give Harmony a listen. I’m sure you’ll find our pitch to be perfect.”

Bridget then tosses the mic to a production assistant as Harmony strikes a pose at the top of the ramp with the feed cutting to Beverly talking Kylie out of a solo rush up the ramp to take on all three members.

• The Woodsmen vs. The Electric Company
With Joe and Jamie already inside the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” heralds the arrival of The Woodsmen, who race out to the ramp and egg on a louder ovation as Hunter starts and sustains a “PAIN CAB-IN!” chant. The Woodsmen enter the ring and get jumped by The Electric Company, but easily gain the advantage as both Hunter and Dakota reverse Irish whip attempts and send Joe and Jamie crashing into each other. Joe stables out of the ring while Hunter bolo punches Jamie into the ropes as Dakota quickly assembles the Pain Cabin. Jamie staggers forward and right into a sidewalk slam by Hunter and a pin attempt that gets 2. Hunter tags in Dakota, who is ready to guide Jamie to the cabin as Joe makes the save to send Dakota face-first into the side of the cabin, allowing Jamie to tag in Joe. Dakota catches a charging Joe and delivers an overhead suplex that sends Joe into the cabin’s open front door as Zed’s Mom, who might be making Christmas cookies in the cabin, admonishes Dakota for leaving the door open. Dakota nods in acknowledgment of Zed’s Mom’s concerns about “heating up the whole neighborhood,” but pulls out a table from the kitchen area that has a large cake on it. Dakota and Joe fight outside the cabin, beside the table as Zed’s Mom slams the door shut from the inside. Joe and Dakota battle with Dakota shoving Joe onto the table, beside the cake. As Joe tries to crawl off the table, Dakota smashes and grinds Joe’s face into the cake, prompting an eventual submission.

Your winners (submission, 4:23), The Woodsmen!

Russ: “I guess Joe is not a fan of buttercream icing.”
Razz: “Partner! I’ve fought in Malaysian Bakery Death Matches. You don’t know how fast that stuff can inhibit your breathing and get you in a panic.”

As The Woodsmen celebrate, Hunter pulls out his Swiss Army Microphone and motions for the music to drop in volume.

Hunter: “Fans of OOWF, before Dakota had to remember one of the chief rules of The Woodsmen, which is, ‘Use all of your surroundings to your advantage,’ we had a party planned for Zed’s Mother, who celebrated a birthday between the last episode of ‘Saturday Slam’ and this one. With the cake in shambles, we must ask all of you to warm up your singing voices as we offer Zed’s Mother a musical birthday tiding.”

Dakota enters the Pain Cabin and leads Zed’s Mom outside where the arena sings a song related to birthdays, but not the one that would get OOWF sued as Joe and Jamie offer to help clean up the mess made on the table to enter the good graces of Zed’s Mom, because the woman makes excellent cookies.

• Banned From Everywhere vs. The One-Notes
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” plays out Carrie and Harper, who proudly sport their pink jackets with Bridget O’Malley walking behind them. The trio is roundly booed, but pay no mind to the reaction as they enter the ring and stretch on the ropes before “Insane in the Brain” changed the mood in the room, bringing out Awesome Bill from Dawsonville and Justin Sane. Banned From Everywhere soaks in the cheers before stepping into the ring. Carrie and Harper try an ambush, but Awesome Bill is ready with a double clothesline that sends both women to the mat and eventually to the outside as Awesome Bill and Justin taunt the pair from inside the ring.

Mac: “Awesome Bill is always itching for a brawl and ambushing him is almost giving him exactly what he wants.”
Razz: “You’d think that The One-Notes, with Bridget in their ears, would have better scouting and strategy.”
Mac: “Razz. Bridget is the smartest person in the room if you ask Bridget, but there are times where she could hide her own Easter eggs.”

Russ momentarily chokes on his water after the Mac quip with Carrie starting the match proper for The One-Notes against Awesome Bill. Carrie tries to wrestler Awesome Bill to the ground, but cannot budge the big man. Carrie then bounces off the ropes and is put on her backside by Awesome Bill, who just stood there really hard. Carrie slides to her corner and tags in Harper, who cracks her neck and tries to get into a power battle with Awesome Bill with little success. Harper ties up with Awesome Bill and gets him onto the ground as Carrie sneaks in and low-bridges Awesome Bill. Harper and Carrie alternate dropping elbows until Mel Creech and Justin break up the double team, Justin in a more violent manner as he drills Carrie with a dropkick. Harper gets caught and gorilla pressed by Awesome Bill, who drops to a knee while shaking off the rapid-fire elbow drops.

Harper crawls back into the ring with Justin asking for Awesome Bill to tag out. Justin greets Harper as a house of fire with rights and a very aggressive left that Harper ducks, leaving Justin to spin into a left hand from Harper that drops him where he stood. Harper scoops the almost lifeless Justin up and signals for an Oklahoma Stampede powerslam. As Harper carries Justin with ease to a neutral corner, Bridget grabs Awesome Bill’s leg and pulls him down, hitting his chin off the apron. Harper slams Justin and then gets him in the Metronome while Carrie gets on the ground and sings in Justin’s ears as he’s being jerked back and forth. Justin, disoriented and discomforted is left with no choice but to tap out.

Your winners (submission, 6:40), The One-Notes!

Afterward, Harper tosses Justin to the mat with Carrie still singing in Justin’s ears. Bridget congratulates her running buddies as the feed cuts out to an ad for PORK’s upcoming holiday cooking special, “There’s Gotta Be a Vegan Option for Thanksgiving, Right?”

• Imperial Onslaught medallion match: El Scorcho vs. Bridget O’Malley
“El Scorcho” plays out El Scorcho as the camera immediately shows that Mac is still at the broadcast table as the newcomer, who has lost roughly 45 pounds and is maybe a half-foot shorter than when we last saw him, walks to the ring. El Scorcho struggle to keep his mask tightened while gesturing to the crowd, pointing to Mac, who shouts his encouragement. “Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” interrupts and announces Bridget’s arrival. Bridget pauses for a second when she sees Mac at the table and El Scorcho in the ring.

Russ: “It’s as if Bridget doesn’t believe that it wasn’t you this whole time.”
Razz: “Russ, if you think that this isn’t some patsy standing in for Mac, then I have som oceanfront property in Arizona that I’d like to sell you.”
Mac: “Look guys, El Scorcho earned his spot in this company and he deserves this match against a fine competitor.”

Bridget looks at El Scorcho and snickers while gesturing to Mac and accusing him of cowardice. While Bridget is distracted by her desire to want Mac, El Scorcho drills her with a dropkick from behind as Davis Hightower signals for the bell. El Scorcho then peppers Bridget with chops and a few forearm uppercuts, sending her to the corner where El Scorcho mounts and starts to deliver a 10-punch barrage, getting to 4 before Bridget casually carries El Scorcho to the center of the ring and delivers a standing spine buster.

Russ: “Oh, that will certainly hurt El Scorcho’s chances of winning this match.”
Razz: “It may also hurt his chances of walking out of Grove City under his own power.”

Bridget stomps away at El Scorcho, rolling him onto his stomach and dropping knees right on his spine, all while barking insults at Mac. Bridget then locks El Scorcho in a Liontamer, nearly folding him in half and drawing a near-submission before Bridget inexplicably releases the hold.

Mac: “Come on, El Scorcho! She gave you an opening! You got this! Do this for Johnstown!”

With El Scorcho still down, but rolling onto his back, Bridget cockily approaches the downed masked man and gets caught in an inside cradle that gets 2.5. Bridget, now flustered, steps into a roaring elbow from a kipped-up El Scorcho. From there, El Scorcho hits the ropes and hammers Bridget with a running Polish Hammer, tying her in the ropes. El Scorcho approaches while Hightower is trying to untie Bridget, meaning he doesn’t see the Greco-Roman kick to the groin that crumbles El Scorcho on the mat. With Bridget now freed, she hoists El Scorcho in a stretch muffler and bounces with extra force to draw a submission, but isn’t getting it immediately. An emphatic crank on El Scorcho’s ankle while Bridget stands to her full height is too much for El Scorcho to take as he goes limp and is unable to answer Hightower’s questions. Hightower calls for the bell with Bridget still applying the hold.

Your winner (referee stoppage, 10:38) and winner of the Imperial Onslaught medallion, Bridget O’Malley!

Afterward, Bridget drops El Scorcho unceremoniously and motions that she is going to claim his mask. With El Scorcho in a heap, Bridget yanks off the mask with no resistance to reveal Rory Thomas, much to the shock of everyone in attendance. Bridget starts to boot away at the still passed out Rory as Mac hops over the table to stop further beatings. Bridget, looking at the medallion in one hand and the mask in the other, spits on the mask and throws it in Mac’s face before departing and receiving a warm greeting from The One-Notes, who are atop the ramp. Mac helps Rory to his feet and pats him on the back as his hometown crowd salutes him as if he had just won while he limps out of the ring.

Russ: “So you mean to tell me that all this time, El Scorcho was Rory Thomas? A fine ruse by the youngster as he continues to try to get to where he wants to be in OOWF.”
Razz: “Partner, that masked man was Mac until he was reminded of the consequences of circumventing his Hell on Earth stipulations.”

• A report on the status of PORK
Russ: “Folks, as you are aware, PORK took a hellacious beating at the hands of Pete Quick and his associates on the previous episode of ‘Saturday Slam.’ We have just received word before going on the air that the damage to PORK’s knee, while serious and requiring surgery, cannot be furthered by in-ring activity. Therefore, OOWF Medical has cleared PORK to return to action on Dec. 2 when ‘Saturday Slam’ is in Bryson City, North Carolina.”
Mac: “Great news for our fans, but I know he’s putting off that surgery because it might mean the end of his career.”
Razz: “Guys, at PORK’s age and with the miles he’s put on in the ring, that kind of surgery will be the end of his career as an active wrestler. There is no ‘might’ or ‘could be’ in that sentence, just facts.”
Russ: “However you slice it, PORK has been returned to the active roster as soon as ‘Saturday Slam’ goes off the air tonight.”

• Sandra Fallon and Annie Horvath vs. The Battling Baristas
All four are in the ring and already brawling with Misami Misawa struggling to maintain order. Brynn pairs off with Sandra and Tara battles with Annie with the Battling Baristas seemingly cleaning house as they toss their opponents over the top rope and make the classic mistake of turning away and celebrating, meaning that they did not see Sandra and Annie hanging onto the top rope and both skinning the cat back inside the ring. Sandra and Annie dropkick the Baristas from behind, sending them over the top and fully onto the mat. Sandra and Annie high-five each other as Brynn has to hold Tara back from rushing back into the ring.

Razz: “Tara’s looking to get back into the ring in a hurry!”
Russ: “Her quintuple-espresso peppermint mocha might be tasty, but it’s not making her smarter.”

Brynn enters the ring for her team and tries to match power with Sandra, only getting the upper hand when she stomps on Sandra’s feet. From there, Brynn and Tara work quick tags and isolate the Californian while taking a few seconds to turn to the broadcast table and taunt Mac.

Mac: “Ladies, I’d worry about the ones in the ring and not me.”
Razz: “Mac can’t avoid making enemies even when he’s not an active wrestler. Are we sure he’s the good guy here?”

Brynn tries to lift Sandra on her shoulders to set up for a French Press as Tara climbs the ropes, but Sandra fights her way down and catches a diving Tara with a superkick on the jaw. Annie, almost hopping out of her boots on the apron, urges Sandra over for the tag and gets it, rushing into the ring and delivering headbutts to both Brynn and Tara before getting 2 on Tara with a running crossbody press. Brynn yanks Annie off of Tara and eats a Pele kick that stumbles her into a overhead suplex by Sandra, who then catches Tara off an Irish whip by Annie and delivers a spine buster. Annie heads to the corner and delivers Anchors Aweigh, getting 3 as Brynn is a step too late.

Your winners (pinfall, 5:54) the team of Sandra Fallon and Annie Horvath!

Afterward, Annie hugs Sandra and takes in the cheers from the crowd while Sandra is more than willing to let Annie get the shine.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship gauntlet match: Katie Bardoor (c) vs. Liam; vs. Nigel; vs. Angie Delpetro; vs. Pete Quick
With Liam already in the ring, Katie charges to the ring without a note of her music playing and opens fire with a series of rights and a left that knocks Liam silly. Katie gets into a ground-and-pound mount and Liam shockingly taps out before Katie can land a follow-up blow.

Liam (submission, 1:06) has been eliminated.

Nigel enters and then exits the ring, choosing to take the countout, much to Katie’s confusion and frustration.

Russ: “Something is starting to smell here. Katie has barely broken a sweat and she’s eliminated two of her opponents with Angie Delpetro and Pete Quick waiting in the wings.”
Razz: “If I’m Katie, I’ll gladly take the easy way out if Nigel and Liam want to give it to me!”

Nigel (count out, :10/1:26) has been eliminated.

Liam and Nigel confer with Angie before she rolls into the ring. Angie enters and takes a big boot from Katie, legitimately stunning her. Katie goes for a cover and gets 2.5 before Angie kicks out. Katie corners Angie and begins pounding her with body shots, letting out a loud yell before landing a booming elbow just underneath Angie’s ribcage. Katie then backs away and starts shaking her arm while clearly in discomfort. As OOWF official Gavin “Junior” Hale checks on Katie, Angle lifts her blouse just high enough to reveal a metal plate that was wrapped around her stomach. Angie removes the plate and then drills Katie with it, right in Hale’s view.

Russ: “Annnnnnnd there it was! This was a plan by Pete Quick to get gold around his waist. Now Katie will be easy prey for Pete Quick. God damn it!”

Angie Delpetro (disqualification, 1:24/3:00) has been eliminated.

With a massive grin on his face, Pete enters the ring and nudges the unconscious Katie with his boot before rolling her onto her back. Pete waves Liam, Nigel and Angie over to share in the moment as he places his boot on Katie’s chest and gets 2.5 as Katie grabs Pete’s boot and is able to trip up her final challenger and secure an ankle lock for a fleeting moment as Liam whacks Katie with a blackjack to trigger a 4-on-1 beatdown.

Pete Quick (disqualification, 2:03/5:13) has been eliminated; therefore your winner and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Katie Bardoor!

Russ: “It was never about the title. It was just about getting Katie in a situation where all of her allies were away and unable to help her.”

Before Russ can utter another thought, PORK hobbles to the ring as fast as he can with a chair in hand and is followed by The Woodsmen, who have 2x4s. PORK takes a few wild swings and connects on air while Hunter and Dakota use their lumber as peace-keeping devices, bracing for a battle and getting nothing as Pete motion for he and his associates to head for higher ground. PORK crouches down and grimaces, but still helps Katie to her feet as The Woodsmen lead the round of applause for the champion.

• OOWF World Tag-Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. Nuke and Alexander Darling
Alex and Nuke make their way to the ring first. Nuke is naturally the chattier of the two, jawing with the fans booing as he walks down the ramp, but Alex has a face of steeled determination on his face. They are followed by the Tag Team Champions, Sean and Zed, 

Right off the bat, Nuke takes control with a neckbreaker on Zed. Nuke follows with a series of chops and kicks, doubling over Zed just in time for a knee to the kidneys. Zed has had enough of this, and tags in Sean.

Sean comes out with right hand after right hand after right hand, eschewing his typical wrestling style to go toe-to-toe with Nuke. The whole way, Sean is letting Nuke know exactly what he thinks of him. Eventually, Sean retreats to tag in Alex.

Alex cautiously circles the ring, slowing down the pace a bit. He glares at Rev. BRICK~! at ringside, then at Sean, who is already talking shit. Alex then steals a quick glance at Zed in the corner, who shrugs his shoulders and extends his arm as if to say, “Be my guest.”

Russ: I’m not sure poking the bear is the best idea when it comes to Alexander Darling.
Razz: If you’re going to be dumb, you better be tough. I think we’re about to find out how tough Sean Franklin is.

Sean tires of Alex’s routine and charges towards him, but Alex brings him down with a drop toehold. Alex tries to cinch in an ankle lock, but Sean’s wrestling background serves him well and he’s back on his feet. Sean hits the ropes looking for a clothesline, but Alex ducks it. When Sean turns around, Alex doubles him over with a kick to the gut before scooping up Sean for a brainbuster.

Alex quickly takes control, putting on a clinic that wouldn’t look out of place during his prime. Sean may be the younger and more athletic of the two, but Alex shows he is up to the task wrestling Sean and wearing him down before going for more of his high-impact maneuvers.

After another brainbuster, Alex steps back as Sean tries to stir to his feet … CURBSTOMP. Alex heads to the corner looking to climb to the top rope, but as he turns around, Nuke slaps him on the back and tags himself in!

Alex freezes as Nuke climbs into the ring, and they stare icily at each other. Alex mutters something under his breath before stepping out of the ring, which only leads to Nuke feeling the need to plead his case. Alex tries to shoo him away to focus on the task at hand, but it’s too late. A groggy Sean has crawled to the opposing corner and tagged in Zed.

Now Nuke has to get serious, as Zed is all over him, chopping him towards a neutral corner. Nuke slumps down against the turnbuckle, and Zed stomps away at Nuke’s chest before getting a running start to drive his knee into Nuke’s head.

Zed scoops up Nuke looking to hoist him onto the top turnbuckle for some kind of high-risk maneuver, but Nuke “accidentally” catches Zed with a rake of the eyes, and Zed has to stand down and collect himself. Nuke regains his footing on the second turnbuckle and leaps, headbutting Zed on his way down. Zed is woozy now, and Nuke waits for Zed to regain his footing before he GIVES ‘EM THE BOOT.

Nuke cackles as he covers Zed, one, two, NO. Sean charged into the ring to break up the pinfall attempt. Alex pulls Sean off of Nuke, and they both exchange a flurry of blows before tumbling unceremoniously out of the ring where their scrap continues.

As Ben Coleman tries to sort out order at ringside, an angry Nuke gets back to his feet. Seeing the distracted referee, Nuke pulls his chain out and preps for a loaded punch, but Rev. BRICK~! quickly reaches up and tries to jerk the chain out of Nuke’s hands.

The tug-of-war naturally goes Nuke’s way, but it slows his progress enough that Zed can get back to his feet. Nuke turns around, right into the GTH from Zed! Zed covers, Coleman turns around, one, two, THREE!

Your winners (pinfall, 17:22) and STILL OOWF Tag Team Champions, Sean Franklin and Zed

Zed quickly rolls out of the ring and pulls Sean away while Rev. BRICK~! collects the tag team championships belts from Coleman. Alex glares at Nuke before shaking his head.

• OOWF World Heavyweight Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Bridget O’Malley
“Crown on the Ground (but Sung by The One-Notes)” signals Bridget’s arrival with the challenger and her cohorts – The One-Notes – gleefully striding to the ring. Bridget tosses her Imperial Onslaught medallion to official Mel Creech while waiting on the champion, who is brought out as “Radioactive” plays. Lexie stands atop the ramp and salutes the fans in attendance before heading to the ring and brushing past Carrie and Harper. Lexie enters the ring and nods toward Bridget before Creech signals that the medallion has been handed in to be exchanged for the title opportunity, but before Creech can signal for the bell, The One-Notes pour into the ring and start to beat on Lexie while Bridget makes certain to keep her distance. Finally, Bridget passively asks for The One-Notes to stop as Creech ejects the pair from ringside, but the damage is seemingly done as Lexie is bleeding from her forehead. Creech checks on Lexie to see if she still wants to fight, which she emphatically affirms. Creech calls for the bell as Bridget swaggers up to Lexie and delivers a searing chop that Lexie returns in short order, triggering a loud exchange that Bridget appears to win when a chop gets close to Lexie’s windpipe. Bridget moves in on a downed Lexie only to get suckered into an arm drag, which begins a sublime mat wrestling sequence that ends in a stand off.

Russ: “Bridget’s new attitude has led to new tricks in her bag, but she’s in the ring with someone who has mastered the most devious actions, even if she’s not choosing to show that side of herself.”
Razz: “She’s a Darling, it’s only a matter of time.”

Bridget gets the upper hand from a tie-up and pushes Lexie into a corner before choosing not to give a clean break, opting for a slap instead. That infuriates Lexie who tears into Bridget, spins her into the corner and returns the favor. Lexie then drives a shoulder into Bridget’s torso to double her over. That gives Lexie the time to scramble up the ropes and deliver a double stomp from the top between Bridget’s shoulder blades. Lexie tries a flying body press from the top and eats a dropkick that gets 2 before Lexie wiggles out and rolls Bridget up for 2. Bridget then stomps Lexie on the neck and tries to lock in a sleeper hold that Lexie fights out of. Lexie unloads with a series of chops, but a poke to the eyes by Bridget and a crossbody gets 2. At this point, two women in pink jackets can be seen making their way through the fans until they’re cut off by Sandra Fallon and Annie Horvath. With the commotion on the outside, Bridget reaches into her tights for a set of brass knuckles, loading up a punch before Mac leaves the broadcast area and holds back Bridget’s arm to save Lexie, and likely her title. Bridget and Mac argue on the apron with Bridget cold-cocking Mac with the brass knuckles. As Bridget reenters the ring, she eats a knee lift from Lexie and then is rolled up as Creech turns his attention back to the ring to count 2.5 before Bridget kicks out. Bridget swings wildly with the brass knuckles still on her hand, missing Lexie but grazing Creech’s jaw. Creech isn’t out, but it takes a minute for him to collect himself. While that happens, Bridget does connect with the brass knuckles on Lexie’s jaw. Bridget rolls Lexie over and covers her, but Creech is looking away as OOWF trainers are tending to a cut on his jawline. That leaves an opening for Rory Thomas, still dressed as El Scorcho, to limp to the ring and drop a knee onto Bridget’s head from the top rope. As Bridget is heaped over Lexie, Rory pulls Bridget off and puts Lexie’s arm over the unconscious Bridget as Creech turns his attention toward the center of the ring, crawls over and counts a slow, but official, 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 15:39), AND STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!

Afterward, with Mac’s suspension lifted, he tears into the ring and is about to unload on Bridget, but is stopped by Sandra, who had just entered the ring herself after The One-Notes were taken away from the crowd brawl by security. Lexie comes to with Creech handing her the title, but having no recollection of having beaten Bridget. Mac, Sandra, Annie and Rory congratulate Lexie as Bridget opens her eyes to see those who she has wronged or recently attacked standing in the ring. Bridget, hearing music that isn’t hers, figures out that she did not win and immediately throws a tantrum while the others in the ring look on. Bridget begins screaming “THIS ISN’T OVER!” toward the assembled group in the ring as all have a valid reason to believe that Bridget’s beef is with them.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Nov. 4, 2023
LIVE! from Minneapolis, Minnesota

• Bridget O’Malley vs. Rory Thomas
With Rory already in the ring, Bridget strides out with her new running buddies – The One-Notes –  complete in their matching pink jackets. Bridget fist bumps Carrie and then Harper before walking to the ring and wasting zero time in getting the jump on Rory, battering him with forearm smashes, a few hip checks and then a leg sweep that puts him down for an extended ground-and-pound session before Gavin “Junior” Hale is able to pull Bridget off and restore some semblance of order. With Rory already bloodied, Hale asks if the rookie wants to start the match proper. He nods in affirmation before collapsing face first on the mat as soon as the bell rings.

Russ: “This poor kid is just going to be outclassed by Bridget O’Malley, and I’m afraid that he’s going to be made an example in Bridget’s continuing quest to show that she is better than Mac Flasher.”
Razz: “Partner, that’s all well and good, but Mac isn’t here to witness this.”
Russ: “That’s odd, he said that he was going to get my concession order after the Intercontinental Championship match.”

Bridget pounces on Rory and pulls him back into a rear naked choke, just as she pulls down, “El Scorcho” by Weezer plays. Bridget releases the choke and stands ready in the ring, facing the ramp, as she orders Carrie and Harper to form a welcoming committee. With all three members of the newly formed Harmony faction – and Hale – staring up the rampway, El Scorcho sneaks in from behind and plasters Bridget with the Imperial Onslaught medallion before dragging a barely conscious Rory on top of Bridget. El Scorcho vacates the premises as the music stops. Carrie and Harper turn to the ring to see Rory pinning Bridget. So does Hale, who counts 3 just before Harper can break up the attempt.

Your winner (pinfall, 2:02), Rory Thomas!

Afterward, Rory is pummeled by both Carrie and Harper as Bridget eventually shakes the cobwebs and joins in. Harper hoists Rory into the Metronome while Carrie takes to the top turnbuckle to hit a guillotine leg drop on the elevate Rory. Bridget is about to continue the assault with a chair that she grabbed from the outside as Sandra Fallon rushes down with a chair of her own in hand. With Sandra ready to take on all three, Bridget holds Carrie and Harper back, smiles and then offers some mocking comments before Harmony departs, complete with Bridget stepping on Rory as the trio walks out.

• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Lindsay McAllister
With both Lindsay and Jeff already in the ring, Jeff is able to gain a brief advantage by overpowering Lindsay with a strong mat-grappling approach before getting into a striking contest that he easily wins. Lindsay tries to get space, only accomplishing such a thing when Jeff misses a lariat as the Australian ducks. Jeff turns around and eats a stiff kick from Lindsay. With Jeff staggered, Lindsay climbs to the top and delivers a leaping Frankensteiner that gets 2. Jeff rolls out and catches a diving Lindsay before driving her spine into the apron. With Lindsay on one knee, Jeff unfurls a series of kicks, ending the sequence with a Shining Wizard that bonks Lindsay’s head off of the nearby steps.

With Lindsay laying out, practically unconscious, Jeff checks on Lindsay and frantically waves for help while Mel Creech, the assigned official finishes his count and calls for the bell.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mel Creech has counted out both wrestlers, meaning this this match is a double count-out (3:09).

Jeff, still panicked, waits for OOWF Medical personnel to arrive with Lindsay slowly starting to stir, but not opening her eyes. Lindsay is loaded onto a backboard and then the stretcher with Jeff, almost in tears, watching on. The very distraught Jeff follows a few steps behind the stretcher wanting to apologize, but choking back the words.

• The Woodsmen vs. The Battling Baristas
Brynn and Tara are already in the ring, standing to the left of ring announcer Mike Elevenbee as “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” plays out The Woodsmen. Hunter and Dakota emerge to a raucous ovation with Hunter egging on the reaction. As The Woodsmen head toward the ring, The Battling Baristas greet them on the ramp, triggering a brawl that gets back into the ring with Misato Misawa apparently permitting such things and calling for the bell. Eventually Misawa is able to get two of the combatants out with Brynn and Dakota remaining in the ring and trading heavy blows with a surprise left hook from Dakota putting Brynn on her backside. Brynn pulls herself up via the nearby ropes and sticks her hand toward her corner with Tara eagerly tagging in. Tara is able to stay out of Dakota’s striking and grappling range, prompting Hunter to want a go of it with the speedier of the two Baristas.

Hunter tags in with neither he nor Tara able to gain an advantage from a collar and elbow tie up. The two break as Hunter points to the ceiling. Tara refuses to fall for the ruse as a bucket of plastic spiders is dumped into the ring, almost all hitting Tara, causing her to shriek and exit the ring in a hurry.

Mac: “Doing a bit of research recently, I found that Tara lists spiders as her biggest fear on her OOWF dot com profile. Hunter apparently got the same intel.”
Russ: “Those … Those aren’t real, are they?”
Razz: “They’re toys from a dollar store, but just like The Woodsmen, they’re real annoying.”

Tara, getting comforted and calmed down by Brynn, tries to get back into the ring only for Hunter to have donned a Spider-Man mask while shooting silly string at Tara. Now enraged, Tara storms in the ring and is caught in an overhead suplex that Hunter bridges to get 2 before Brynn breaks up the count. Dakota runs in to cut off Brynn while Tara gets upright and spits brown mist into Hunter’s eyes, causing him immediate distress.

Mac: “Did Tara just mist Hunter with coffee?”
Russ: “It’d be a lot better if it were coffee than another brown liquid.”

Hunter, swinging wildly and missing, is easy prey for Tara to put a super kick right on his chin. That gets 2.9 with Dakota making the last-second save. Brynn clubs Dakota from behind and tosses him to the outside while then hoisting Hunter onto her shoulders with Tara climbing to the top turnbuckle. Brynn leaps and hits a Lou Thesz Press from the top on the elevated Hunter, crashing his spine to the mat.

Razz: “The French Press! We finally got to see it! This one’s over!”

Razz’s prediction is a fraction of a second off as Hunter gets a shoulder up at 2.9. Tara and Brynn are beside themselves before Brynn suggests one more French Press. Before Brynn can get Hunter onto her shoulders, Dakota returns and saves his partner before drilling Brynn with an elbow smash. Dakota then assembles the Pain Cabin before returning to his corner and urging a tag from Hunter. A woozy Hunter dives toward Dakota, making the tag with Dakota entering a house of fire and roughly escorting Tara into the cabin. It’s not long until Tara’s screams of submission are good enough for Misawa to call it a night.

Your winners, (submission, 9:23), The Woodsmen!

Afterward, Tara stumbles out and falls forward as Dakota calmly and quietly disassembles the Pain Cabin while Hunter comes to his senses and enthusiastically pats Dakota on the back for a job well done.

• Sandra Fallon and Kylie Mignolio vs. Nuke and Alexander Darling
“Hate Breeders” brings out Nuke, who talks trash to any and all in the crowd who want to engage. As Nuke rolls into the ring, “King of the World” plays out Alexander, who walks to the ring and brushes Nuke’s hand off of his shoulder when the rookie tried to greet him. As Nuke is processing the rejection, “Surf Wax America” sounds the arrival of Sandra as she jogs to the ring, but stays outside until “Jaded” interrupts to indicate that Kylie is on her way. As the patchwork tandem stands on the outside, a quick nod between the two leads to both hopping into the ring. Nuke charges and gets hip tossed by Sandra while Kylie motions for Alexander to bring the fight to her. Alexander shrugs it off and waits for the match to start proper. Ben Coleman signals for the bell with Alexander pulling Nuke back and starting the match for his team with Sandra eagerly wanting to try the soon-to-be, first-ballot OOWF hall-of-famer. Kylie asks to tag in, which Sandra allows after consulting the crowd. As soon as Kylie hops over the ropes, Alexander tags in an unaware Nuke and steps to the apron.

Kylie dispatches Nuke with a hip toss with Alexander coming in, so Sandra scoop slams Alexander and then Nuke for good measure.

Mac: “That slam on Alex Darling is proof that Sandra Fallon never misses a leg day.”
Russ: “That was pretty impressive.”
Razz: “Alex wasn’t ready. Sandra wasn’t legal for her team!”
Russ: “Neither was Alexander.”
Razz: “Minor details!”

Nuke is able to clip Kylie with a kneelift, but gets caught in a crucifix pin attempt by the speedy Kylie. Alexander walks in again to break up the pin with Sandra greeting Alexander with a dropkick. In the chaos, Nuke is able to get a chain-aided jab to the throat on Kylie to take control. Nuke hits a delayed vertical suplex for 2 before sending her to his team’s corner for a double-team beatdown that eventually draws Sandra in to even the numbers. Coleman escorts Sandra away as Nuke hits a backbreaker on Kylie, but his middle-rope attempt at something, is cut off as Kylie kips up just before the leap and hits Nuke flush with a dropkick. Kylie has a dropkick for Alexander, too, before making the tag to Sandra, who hits Nuke with a deadweight spine buster and then connects on a Maliblu Thunder Bomb to get 3 as Kylie braces for Alexander to save, with the Aristobrat seemingly uninterested in furthering the matter.

Your winners (pinfall, 6:39), the team of Sandra Fallon and Kylie Mignolio.

Afterward, Kylie and Sandra celebrate with Nuke rolling out and shoving Alexander, who is tempted to return the favor before making a wanking motion with his hand and exiting through the crowd. A frustrated Nuke follows Alexander, not to attack, but just to discuss the disconnect with the feed cutting to an ad for OOWF dot TV’s “One Day of Christmas” marathon of holiday-themed matches, airing on Dec. 25.

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Annie Horvath
“Cut the Cord” pierces the silence with Beverly heading the ring and bouncing off of the ropes with The Bouncing Souls’ “Anchors Aweigh” playing, but there’s no Annie. The feed cuts to the back as Carrie and Harper are in an undisclosed room with Annie, ready to take on both of The One-Notes before Carrie takes off her pink jacket and covers the camera’s lens, allowing the viewer to only hear what presumably is an intense 2-on-1 beating before the feed heads back to the ring with “Crown on the Ground” playing as Bridget emerges with a microphone in her hand.

Bridget: “Bev. Consider this night off a gift from your friends at Harmony. Now you and I are supposed to have a ‘just us girls’ night away from these Saturday Slam episodes, and when we do, I’d love to invite you to a meeting of Harmony. You know, just for you to see what we’re about and to see if you’d be a fit for Harmony. And before you ask, Bev, yes, we know your jacket size and it’s already on its way and we’ll make sure that Josie gets her own jacket. Think about it, Pookie. The only thing better than being part of the strongest trio in OOWF is to make it the strongest quartet in OOWF.”

Bridget hands the mic to a production assistant as Beverly’s expression indicates that she’s at least thinking about the offer just made to her.

• Pete Quick vs. PORK
As PORK is making his entrance, Quick attacks him from behind. Quick gets a few shots in and rolls PORK into the ring and chokes him, nearly getting disqualified. Quick pulls PORK to his feet and whips him into the corner and charges, but PORK catches him with a boot to the jaw, then throws him in the corner and the crowd chants “SHHHHHHHHHH … PORK CHOPS!” And PORK unLOADS on Quick, blistering his chest. PORK whips Quick to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a THUNDEROUS spinebuster for a two count. Quick bails to the apron, but PORK grabs him and deadlifts him in a suplex!

Russ: Pete Quick is a 275-pound man!
Razz: That is some impressive strength there!

As PORK gets Quick up, Angie hops the guardrail and CRACKS PORK across the side of the knee with a baton! PORK falls to the mat and grabs his knee howling in pain! Quick grabs PORK'S knee in the IRON CLAW! PORK tries to fight to the ropes, but he collapses and the referee calls for the bell!

Your winner (referee stoppage, 10:13), Pete Quick!

LEGION join the beatdown, all raining shots down on PORK's knee. Quick grabs a chair and takes a seat, in a scene eerily reminiscent to one with Jack, LEGION and Angie hold PORK so he is forced to look into Quick's eyes. PORK is clearly in pain

Quick: *savoring the moment* “You know PORK … I'm a betting man myself. I love the … the RUSH of the risk. Lay it all on the line and let fate take you where it does. PORK, I get it my friend, you bet it all on yourself, you risked it all for one last shot at glory. Before those knees … *Quick smirks* that … very knee … gave out for good. You put it all on the line, this was it, there's no turning back, all … or nothing. I respect that.

“However, you cast your fate with the devil. And when you cast your fate with the devil, well … that I cannot respect.”

In one motion Quick stands up, folds the chair and slams it down across PORK's head. Katie hits the ring with a chair of her own and enough fury to ignite a thousand suns.

Russ: “THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK!”
Razz: “I mean this is just too far, PORK is a good dude just giving it one last shot.”
Russ: “This is not wrestling. I don't know what Quick's vendetta is, but it is repulsive!”
Razz: “Tell you what, I wouldn't want to be Angie tonight!”

• Legion vs. Banned From Everywhere
“Insane in the Brain” can only mean the arrival of Justin Sane and Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, as the usual smiles across their faces are replaced with scowls as they hurriedly march to the ring. With Banned From Everywhere inside the ring, the music stops and a video plays on the OOWFTron with Nigel and Liam standing outside the Nowhere Bar, Grille and PCPL Repository. With neither member of Legion saying a word, the duo begins breaking windows with their customary collapsable batons before entering the lobby of the establishment, continuing the vandalism spree by breaking tables, knocking over fixtures and breaking into Awesome Bill’s special reserve PCPL cabinet before slugging away at the jugs, spilling the PCPL all over the restaurant’s floor. Satisfied with their work, Nigel and Liam nod at each other and exit with almost every item within the eye of the camera shattered or broken.

Mac: “I’m not sure that this is the route you want to go on if you want to get Banned From Everywhere’s attention.”
Razz: “What are they going to do about it? Those two are jokes compared the cold, precise team that Legion is.”
Russ: “But Legion just messed with the livelihood of two men who are beloved in OOWF. While they might be able to take Banned From Everywhere in a fight, an attack like this to Nowhere Bar could bring all kinds of unexpected support to the side of Awesome Bill and Justin.”

Afterward, Awesome Bill is trembling in rage, but almost reduced to tears at the same time as Justin stares at the screen in disbelief.

• OOWF World Tag Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. The One-Notes
Sean and Carrie start in the ring, much like when Zed and Sean got the upper hand on this duo back in August, and the start of the match looks very similar as well. Sean’s athleticism and strength carry the way, and he tags in Zed after he’s satisfied with a strong start to the match.

Zed doesn’t go much easier on Carrie, with a lot of the stiff strikes we’ve come to expect from him. However, his offense is interrupted as a murmur grows in the crowd with Bridget O’Malley making her way to ringside.

While Zed is eyeing Bridget warily, Carrie tags in Harper. Harper gets in a quick shot at Zed, who hastily makes his way over to tag in Sean.

Razz: For someone who didn’t seem too concerned about Bridget working with the One Notes, he’s keeping a close eye on her.
Mac: I don’t think he’s ever trusted Bridget that much.
Russ: I’d say he was born on a Tuesday, but it wasn’t last Tuesday.

Sean and Harper share a healthy back and forth, but just as it looks like Harper’s getting some momentum, she shoots Sean into the ropes looking for a massive clothesline … but he goes down in a heap against the ropes, as Bridget trips him up!

Ben Coleman sees the interference the whole way, and wastes no time ejecting Bridget from ringside. Meanwhile, BRICK~! has marched his way over to confront Bridget, and Zed has hopped down from the apron in an attempt to intercept him and play peacekeeper.

Zed’s reward for his Henry Kissinger impression is to nearly get clocked by Bridget as she starts to swing away at BRICK~!. She gets a few shots in before Coleman and security separate all involved.

While all eyes are trained on that fracas, Carrie slides a chair in the ring to Harper. Harper lines up Sean for a blindside shot while Sean is watching the action at ringside, but Zed spots it out of the corner of his eye and warns Sean just in time for a swing and a miss.

Harper’s mental clock is ticking, and she quickly discards the chair with Coleman returning to the ring. That’s just the opportunity Sean needs to roll up Harper, one, two, THREE.

Your winners (pinfall, 10:18) and STILL OOWF TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, the team of Zed and Sean Franklin!

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Angie Delpetro (c) vs. Katie Bardoor
Katie is announced, but doesn't show, so OOWF Intercontinental champion Angie Delpetro gets her full entrance. She comes to the ring to the boos of the crowd. As she poses on the turnbuckle, we see footage of PORK being loaded in an ambulance to go to the local medical facility to have his knee looked at. As the medic closes the door, we see Katie standing there with a look of rage. She turns and storms to the ring

Katie comes out and immediately pulls her shirt off, which pops the crowd. Katie steps into the ring, Angie tries to say something, but Katie drops her with, what appears to be, a legit right cross. She grabs Angie by the hair and pulls her up, and blood is spilling from her nose. Katie shoves Angie into the corner and peppers her with punches, then tilts her head back and SLAMS her forearm down across Angie's nose! Delpetro howls in pain and staggers out of the corner and falls to her knees, Katie charges out of the corner with a clothesline to the back of the head that slams Angie's face into the mat. Katie hooks her and rolls her over, but Angie kicks out at two.

Katie pulls Angie up and tries for a suplex, but Angie rakes her eyes. Angie connects with a spinning heel kick to the back of the head that sends Katie hanging on the middle rope, Angie springs over the top rope and drops a leg across the back of Katie's head, then grabs her off the apron and DRIVES her to the floor with a DDT. Angie rolls Katie back into the ring and covers, putting her feet on the bottom rope, but Katie kicks out at two. Angie pulls Katie up and whips her into the corner and connects with a running elbow. Katie staggers out of the corner, Angie darts to another corner and tries a cross body block, but Katie NOPES her and Angie crashes and burns.

Katie wastes no time, she slams Angie face first into the turnbuckle, dropping Angie to her knees, Katie slams her on the back of the head with a kick, then drags her out of the corner and covers, but Angie kicks out once again. Katie snarls and pulls Angie up and hits the GTS, slamming her knee into Angie's already broken nose. Delpetro slumps to her knees, Katie grabs her arms, hits a curbstomp, then traps her in the STF, raking her forearm across Angie's face. Delpetro quickly taps out. NEW CHAMPION!

Your winner (submission, 17:39) and NEW OOWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, Katie Bardoor!

Katie has no time to celebrate as Quick, Nigel and Liam IMMEDIATELY attack. Katie fights for a moment, but wrestling math is not on her side. Quick grabs a chair and LEGION holds Katie just like they did PORK earlier, but before he can say or do anything, the Woodsmen and Banned From Everywhere hit the ring with 2x4s and Quick and his crew make a quick escape. The Woodsmen, Justin and Bill try to celebrate, Hunter hands Katie the title and she takes it, looks at it and holds it up, then holds up her taped fist and we see JQ written on the tape.

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. El Scorcho
“El Scorcho” plays as El Scorcho emerges from the back. The OOWF’s most recent signee motions that he’s like a new belt around his waist while walking to the ring. Before El Scorcho can mount the steps, he is waylaid from behind by The One-Notes as Bridget O’Malley looks on. A 3-on-1 beatdown commences as Bridget grabs the very Imperial Onslaught medallion that El Scorcho was going to hand over to OOWF official Davis Hightower in exchange for this scheduled title opportunity.

Razz: “El Scorcho played with fire and he’s getting burned. Oh is he getting burned!”
Russ: “That poor kid from Johnstown just living out a dream, but he made the mistake of crossing a very scorned Bridget O’Malley.”
Razz: “Kid? The only Johnstowner under that mask is supposedly in line getting your bacon cheeseburger.”
Russ: “He said he’d only be 10 minutes.”

While the beating continues, Lexie charges down to stop the assault while Bridget pulls a microphone from her jacket pocket.

Bridget: “Lexie. I know that you were prepared to fight Mac Flash … I mean, El Scorcho tonight, but I have a much better idea. This medallion says that whomever holds it is granted one opportunity at the OOWF World Championship. Seeing as I’m holding it, that means that I am granted one opportunity at your title. Lex. Babes. You claim to be a fighting champion. What do you say? How about you and I, like it should have been all this time since my rightful win at Imperial Onslaught was taken from me by that pile of garbage on the outside. Just think, when I go down as this company’s greatest champion, you can be the footnote under my foot.”

Before Lexie can answer, El Scorcho battles through The One-Notes and charges at Bridget, only to get tripped up by Carrie while Harper slugs an unsuspecting Lexie. A pier-six brawl ensues with Sandra Fallon running down to even the numbers as security spills into the ring. With the sides separated and talking massive amounts of smack, Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.

Shizuru-Mune: “Bridget. After consulting the championship committee, your appeal has been upheld. While we will not be reversing the decision from Imperial Onslaught, on the Nov. 18 edition of Saturday Slam, you will face El Scorcho for possession of the Imperial Onslaught medallion. The winner gets an immediate title match against Lexie Darling in that night’s main event.”

Bridget and The One-Notes nod in approval while El Scorcho also claps and nods.

Shizuru-Mune: “Also to Mac Flasher, wherever you may be. If it is revealed while your suspension is still active that you are competing as El Scorcho, per Bridget’s claims. You will be fired without any hope of returning to the payroll. In that event, anyone on the roster that is proven to be an accomplice in this alleged ruse will also be terminated from this company.”

Bridget smiles like a Cheshire Cat as El Scorcho’s earlier gestures of approval turn into nervous body language.

Shizuru-Mune: “… But if you’re not Mac Flasher under that hood, then you have nothing to worry about. Except for Bridget in 14 days.”

The feed cuts away as Bridget, seemingly has all the best cards in her hand while not afraid to tell the world about it.

OOWF Saturday Slam –  Oct. 21, 2023
LIVE! from Detroit, Michigan

• Beverly Cambridge vs. Lindsay McAllister
“Just a Girl” draws out Lindsay, who salutes her well-wishers and heads to the ring with a bounce in her step. Lindsay enters the ring and bounces off the ropes with “Cut the Cord” playing out Beverly as she coyly acknowledges her fans and walks to the ring. The two shake hands with Gavin “Junior” Hale signaling for the bell to start the match. Lindsay and Beverly circle each other and tease grapples, but both manage to duck out of danger when the other seemingly has the advantage. Lindsay, who is just a bit quicker, is able to get a few running strikes on Beverly, who halts the attack with a stun gun on a charging Lindsay, who opts to catch her air on the outside.

Mac: “I know it gets said often, but it’s very rare that you can surprise Beverly Cambridge once the bell rings.”
Razz: “Great wrestlers are always studying their opponents at all hours. When you don’t hear much from Beverly between shows, that’s when you know that you’re cooked.”

Lindsay hops to the apron and waits for Beverly to engage her. Beverly patiently waits for Lindsay to step back into the ring as Hale’s count is now at 8. Lindsay steps back in and cautiously tries to reach in as Beverly attempts a quick takedown into a La Bell Lock. Lindsay powers herself to freedom and then opts for a quick forearm shiver to the side of Beverly’s head and a neck crank to get Beverly on the mat. Lindsay grapples Beverly down into a chin lock with some fish-hooking.

Mac: “It’s rare we see this type of stuff from Lindsay now, but I’ve experienced this side of her first hand and I think she knows that she can fall back on this as a weapon if needed.”

Lindsay keeps up the pressure, trying to gain a submission through a bridging hammerlock that Beverly escapes by draping a leg over a nearby rope. Lindsay releases the hold and gets a kick to the face for her troubles when trying break Beverly’s ground guard. Beverly kips up and backs Lindsay into a corner with a few forearm strikes. A European Uppercut rocks Lindsay and sets up a Very European Uppercut that has her out on her feet upon landing.

Razz: “Shades of Claudio Castagnoli! You wonder what else he might have taught Beverly during those non-dates, if you know what I mean.”
Russ: “You better not let Zed hear you make those implications.”

Beverly attempts a running bulldog on the woozy Lindsay, but the Australian is able to counter and shove Beverly off just before the downward trip. Lindsay falls and Beverly is on the mat collecting herself as Hale gets a count up to 6 before Beverly is upright. Beverly approaches Lindsay and gets caught in a small package that gets 2 before Beverly powers through a reversal to get 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 5:22), Beverly Cambridge!

Afterward, Beverly and Lindsay sit across from each other and nod in sportsmanship before Lindsay offers to raise Beverly’s arm. Beverly politely declines, but the two shake hands in the center of the ring.

• Awesome Bill from Dawsonville vs. Pete Quick
Quick is out first and the crowd boos the ever loving shit out of him. Quick soaks the boos in in the middle of the ring, and when "Freebird" plays, the crowd loses their shit. Bill storms the ring and he and Quick go toe to toe, but Bill quickly gets the better of the exchange. He grabs Quick and sends him into the corner and charges in and catches him with a clothesline, then climbs to the second rope and gives the ten punches of doom. Bill hops off the turnbuckle and Quick takes a couple steps out of the corner and takes a swing at nothing in particular. Bill hits the ropes and KILLS Quick with a the MASON DIXON LINE (clothesline from hell). Quick rolls out of the ring and falls to the floor.

Bill hops out of the ring and pulls Quick to his knees but Quick grabs Bill and falls backward sending him face first into the ringpost. Quick throws Bill into the ring and covers, but Bill kicks out at two. Quick spends the next several minutes working on Bill, getting several near falls in the process. Quick tries an elbow drop off the ropes, but Bill gets his knee up, catching Quick in the ribs. Bill is back on his feet and takes the fight to Quick, hitting the flip, flop and fly, sending Quick back out of the ring. Bill waits for Quick to get to his feet, then hits the opposite ropes......where he is low bridged by Angie Delpetro!

Bill flips over the top rope, but lands on his feet. He grabs Delpetro and threatens to hit her when Quick rushes around the ring and NAILS Bill with a punch to the back of the head with his gloved fist! Bill collapses to the floor. Quick rolls Bill into the ring and pulls him to his feet in the corner, but Bill is in la-la land. Quick makes a big show of applying the iron claw and taking Bill to the mat where the referee makes the academic three count.

Your winner (pinfall, 11:41), Pete Quick!

After the match, Quick gets a mic, and is joined in the ring by Angie and Legion. Nigel and Liam hold Bill, who cannot stand. Quick gets a chair and opens it and sits in front of Bill.

Billy, Billy, Billy. I want you to understand something. The chaos of the old OOWF is gone. I have rid this cesspool of one Moosehead Jack, the most vile miscreant to ever step foot in a wrestling ring. Now … you have to understand how things work around here these days, Bill. You see, there is a pecking order, and Angie, Legion and I, well we are at the very top of that pecking order. We are the elite, we are the future. We gave you a chance to be part of our organization Billy, but you declined. You … didn’t trust me. You didn't trust us. That hurts me Billy, and when someone hurts me … I have to hurt them.

In one fluid motion, Quick jumps to his feet, grabs the chair and folds it, and brings it down HARD on Bill's skull. Bill collapses to the mat, blood gushing from a nasty cut on his head. The crowd erupts as Justin Sane and Ellie May, as well as the rest of the locker room, flood the ring. Quick and Co make a hasty retreat while medics come out to check on Bill.

• Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes vs. Annie Horvath, Ona Jones and Rory Thomas
“Crown on the Ground,” but now sung by The One-Notes, announces the arrival of the suddenly bonded trio of Bridget, Carrie and Harper. The three ladies stroll to the ring with their opposition already in the ring. Despite Davis Hightower’s warnings of starting before the bell, Bridget and The One-Notes rush to the opposite corner with Bridget disposing of Ona, Carrie working over Annie and Harper hammering away on Rory.

Mac: “This is suddenly a very dangerous group of ladies as Annie, Ona and Rory are going to painfully find out.”
Razz: “And this could all be traced back to you, Mac! Had you just let Bridget shine like you knew she should have, she might still be your best friend.”
Russ: “She’s always had a bit of a Jezebel quality to her. Mac couldn’t have prevented this.”

Hightower manages to establish order with Harper and Rory in the ring. Rory tries to outslug Harper, but to no avail. Harper stops Rory cold with a left hook and then tags in Carrie as Rory falls back to get tagged out by Ona. Carrie and Ona exchange takedowns and cradle-based pin attempts that only get 1 with Carrie finally gaining an edge thanks to a Greco-Roman eye rake. Ona swings wildly at air with Carrie tagging out to Bridget, who dives at Ona’s recently injured knee. Bridget toys with Ona before tossing her to her team’s corner with Annie tagging in with a series of punches that stagger Bridget enough for Annie to hit the ropes and attempt a crossbody that Bridget casually sidesteps.

Russ: “Annie Horvath is showing the heart of a champion, but the ring awareness and scouting still need work.”
Mac: “She’s been training with Firewoman, so mastering those things is inevitable. Until then, let’s just praise her for having the awareness to realize that Nuke was holding her down.”
Razz: “You mean like you held Bridget down?”

Bridget isolates Annie in the corner as Bridget, Carrie and Harper take turns tagging in and working over the waifish youngster. After two rotations of tagging and stomping, Carrie slaps the downed Annie, which ignites a fire in the youngster and causes her to pop up in an instant. Annie battles out of the corner and yells, getting the Detroit crowd behind her, but her path to a tag is cut off by Harper, who wasn’t legal, but that’s not going to matter as Ona and Rory spill into the ring with Bridget also joining the fracas as a line brawl commences.

Mac: “While I’ll never agree with the claim that Detroit is ‘Hockeytown,’ this looks like something out of a movie filmed in a true hockey town.”
Russ: “You must mean ‘Youngblood,’ which was filmed in Toronto.”
Razz: “That can’t be it, Russ. Mac surely is talking about ‘The Mighty Ducks,’ which was filmed in Minnesota.”
Mac: “… Guys. You were in the arena where most of the hockey scenes from ‘Slap Shot,’ THE hockey movie was filmed in. Did you not read the notes I gave you?”

Harper manages to knock out Rory with a hard right hand while Carrie sends Annie out of the ring with a clothesline over the top. With Harper picking the unconscious Rory up for the Metronome, Bridget pulls Ona into a chickenwing sleeper that gets an immediate submission. Hightower, who has lost control long ago, signals for the bell.

Your winners (submission, 5:28), the team of Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes!

Afterward, Bridget refuses to let go of the chicken-wing sleeper while Harper tosses Rory aside. Carrie and Harper then converge on the Bridget-Ona action while singing a lullaby as Ona fades into unconsciousness. Bridget holds on just a bit longer before Hightower’s threats of a reversed decision finally force a break. Annie cautiously crawls in to tend to her downed partners while Bridget and The One-Notes hop out of the ring to taunt Mac at the broadcast table.

• Alexander Darling vs. Kylie Mignolio
With Russ having sent Mac off with a concession order, “King of the World” plays out Alexander, who shows his usual disdain toward the fans. Alexander perches himself in a corner as “Jaded” plays out Kylie as she jogs to the ring and enters. Misato Misawa signals for the bell as “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” plays to bring out Hunter and Dakota, The Woodsmen. Hunter pulls out his Swiss Army Microphone.

Hunter: “Woodswoman Kylie. We report that Josie is in need of your assistance in the most urgent fashion.”

Kylie with zero hesitation sprints out of the ring and toward the back, blowing past The Woodsmen, who were apparently entrusted with watching over Josie. Kylie locates Josie, right where she had left her with The Woodsmen in perfect health and spirit, but apparently wanting to grab food in catering. Kylie nods in affirmation … All while Misawa’s count has long since made it to 10.

Your winner (count out, :35), Alexander Darling!

Afterward, Kylie returns to the ringside area and strongly admonishes Hunter for turning a non-emergency into a very stressful situation, while Alexander cracks a smile at getting a win without having to do all that much.

• WAR PIGS vs. Legion (Liam and Nigel)
Legion are out first, they pose in the ring and generally just annoy the crowd. The first few chords of "War Pigs" barely plays when Katie and PORK storm the ring. Katie goes after Liam with a fury we haven't seen before.

Russ: Katie is attacking Liam with a fury we've never seen before!

See? She backs him into the corner and hammers him with punches to the face and ribs. Katie takes a step back and pulls off her shirt

Crowd: SHIRT OFF! FISTS UP!

Katie continues to batter Liam in the corner, he finally shoves her and then bails out of the ring. Katie follows. Inside the ring, PORK and Nigel take turns battering one another with forearms and punches, PORK backs Nigel into the corner and holds up his finger,

Crowd: Shhhhhhhhhhhh … PORK CHOPS!

PORK unleashes a barrage of chops in the corner that beats Nigel to the mat, he then stomps a mudhole in him, then pulls him to his feet, sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a SPINEBUSTER! PORK covers, but Nigel kicks out at two.

Katie and Liam have fought their way up the ramp, and we see Liam has been busted open. Katie grabs him and bites his forehead, Liam rakes her eyes to get away, then hits her with a spinning elbow that momentarily gets her off of him. Liam kicks Katie and plants her with a DDT on the stage. Katie is immediately on her knees trying to shake it off, Liam kicks her in the ribs, then grabs a table and sets up and grabs Katie, but she ROCKS him with a European uppercut, then POWERBOMBS him through the table! Katie stares down at Liam and gets a weird look in her eye. She grabs Liam and throws him off the stage onto the concrete floor. Katie gets a running start and tries a Foley elbow, but Liam moves and Katie eats concrete.

Back in the ring, PORK is having his way with Nigel when Angie is back out. She distracts the referee which allows Nigel to hit a low blow. Nigel drapes PORK on the bottom rope and chokes him, Pete Quick comes through the crowd and hops the guardrail and NAILS PORK with a right to the temple!

Russ: THAT DAMN LOADED GLOVE AGAIN!

Quick ducks down so the ref doesn't see him, Nigel grabs a barely conscious PORK and rolls him up off the ropes and the referee, having not seen a thing, counts the pin.

Your winners (pinfall, 15:36), Legion!

• Sandra Fallon and El Scorcho vs. The Battling Baristas
With Brynn and Tara already in the ring, “Surf Wax America” plays to boring out Sandra, who waits for “El Scorcho” to mark the arrival of El Scorcho, who receives a hero’s welcome in Detroit. Sandra, still not sure what to make of the masked newcomer, offers a fist bump as the duo starts to walk toward the ring. They never get there as Bridget O’Malley and The One-Notes waylay the duo from behind. The 3-on-2 assault makes its way back up the ramp where Bridget, who is barking out orders, watches Sandra get thrown into the LED board and then off the stage onto a conveniently placed stack of boxes. El Scorcho tries to hop off and tend to Sandra, but is grabbed by Harper. Carrie and Harper work over El Scorcho as Bridget grins from ear to ear. Bridget then approaches the nearly unconscious El Scorcho, who has been thrown toward her feet. As Bridget gestures that she is about to remover her mask, “I Get Wet” plays to distract Bridget just enough for Sandra to grab El Scorcho by the wrist and pull him to safety off the side of the stage. Carrie and Harper try to stop the escape, but Bridget holds the two back while barking insults toward the wounded pair.

Russ: “I’m not sure who that masked man is that Bridget is so worried about getting his mask, but El Scorcho has created quite a stir in the two shows that he’s been a part of.”
Razz: “Partner, if you’re not sure who El Scorcho is, wait until Mac takes his time getting back with your chicken fingers.”

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Angie Delpetro (c) vs. Justin Sane
“Insane in the Brain” signals the arrival of Justin, who runs out to a wild applause and with the company of Drunkey and Drunkette. As Justin dashes to the ring, the music stops as Angie enters to “The Halls of Fear.” Angie strides to the ring, paying little mind to Drunkey and Drunkette as they are escorted backstage. Angie makes a few rude gestures to ringside fans before rolling into the ring. Justin tries to get at Angie, but is held back by Angelo Barros, who checks both for foreign objects and then calls for the start of the match. Justin gets a head of steam and runs straight into a big boot from Angie, who is quick to fold Justin and grab a heaping helping of tights to get a quick 3.

Your winner (pinfall, :25), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Angie Delpetro!

Afterward, Angie gestures that she’s wiping her hands clean of Justin when an angry, and bandaged Awesome Bill from Dawsonville charges in to get at Angie, who hightails it with Pete Quick, Nigel and Liam joining her on the ramp. Awesome Bill helps Justin to his feet and pats him on the shoulder while Angie holds the championship to taunt both members of Banned From Everywhere.

• OOWF World Tag Team Championship: Zed and Sean Franklin (c) vs. The Electric Company
Joe and Jamie of The Electric Company are already in the ring as “Good in Red” starts to play and Sean Franklin and Zed walk down the entrance ramp with Rev. BRICK~! in tow. Sean and Joe start in the ring, and Sean backs up Joe with some chops before shooting him into the ropes for a scoop powerslam. Sean wastes little time laying in a few strikes to Joe’s head before tagging in Zed.

Zed staggers Joe with a kick, then doubles Joe over with repeated knees to the abdomen. Zed hits the ropes, but Joe is ready and waiting with a clothesline. Joe takes this opportunity to tag in Jamie, while Zed quickly returns to the champions’ corner to bring Sean back.

As Sean’s trying to get in the ring, Rev. BRICK~! hops on the apron and tries to pass him something. Sean largely brushes him off, but the distraction is enough for Jamie to go for a roll-up pin, one, two, NO! Sean kicks out and quickly elbows Jamie in the face, while Zed glares at Rev. BRICK~!.

Sean gets a little old-school, bashing Jamie’s head into the turnbuckle repeatedly before tagging in Zed. Zed goes to the top rope, awaiting the vertical suplex from Sean before flying in with the leg drop. Zed hooks Jamie’s leg, and you could count to 50.

Your winners (5:22; pinfall) and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions, Sean Franklin and Zed!

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Nuke
“Hate Breeders” notes the arrival of Nuke, who goes through the requisite gesturing that he wants the championship on the line in this impending match. Nuke climbs the ropes in his corner and motions around his waist just as “Radioactive” plays to signal that Lexie Darling is in the building. The champion holds her title high over her head while never taking her eyes off of Nuke during her entrance or the big-match introductions from Mike Elevenbee. Mel Creech holds the title over his head and calls for the bell as Nuke charges, only to eat a roundhouse kick from Lexie. Nuke scampers away and under the ropes while Lexie gestures for Nuke to bring more than just that.

Mac: “Nuke is an expert at hit-and-run offense. Lexie, as any good champion should be, is quite aware of this fact.”

Nuke heads back in and offers a handshake that Lexie kicks away before cornering him with forearm smashes. Lexie takes a few steps back before rushing back in with a high knee to the jaw. Lexie repeats this twice, not having to get too high on the third knee strike with Nuke slumped in the corner. Lexie peels Nuke out of the corner and plants him into the mat with a DDT that gets 2. Nuke tries to roll out of the ring, only for Lexie to confidently block his path. Nuke slowly gets to his feet and spits right in Lexie’s face before sending an elbow to her jaw. Lexie bounces off the nearby ropes after taking the blow and right into a pop-up power bomb that gets 0 with the champ already in the ropes before the pin was attempted. Nuke stomps away at Lexie, focusing on the upper torso and neck area as Lexie is a beat behind covering where the next stomp will land. Creech eventually steps in and gets shoved down as Nuke continues on the offensive. As Creech is coming to, Adam Jennings rushes down to talk Creech out of disqualifying his son. While all of this is happening, El Scorcho runs down to the ring and does enough to distract Nuke. Lexie takes advantage with a sling blade and then a tornado DDT. El Scorcho then waves Creech over to count the fall, which he does.

Your winner (pinfall, 5:06), and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!

Afterward, Nuke chases after El Scorcho, taking that footrace all the way to the back.

Razz: “Wait. I thought that … El Scorcho was … You know … I … Ummm …"
Mac: “You OK over there Razz? Gonna make it?”
Russ: “I think Razz had some beliefs to the identity of that masked man that might have been quashed.”

Lexie takes her championship from Creech and holds it high as the show closes.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Oct. 7, 2023
LIVE! from Johnstown, Pennsylvania

• Champions’ challenge (Winner to face OOWF World Champion Lexie Darling): Zed vs. Angie Delpetro vs. Sean Franklin
The bell rings, and Angie immediately puts Sean and Zed on the defensive, launching into a barrage of offense to slow down the tag team champions. However, the numbers game eventually catches up to her, and soon Sean and Zed have the upper hand.

Zed gets in a lot of the “fan favorites” early, hitting Angie with both the Raise Up and a ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ for good measure. Angie is able to back off Zed with a stunner, but Sean spots his opening and plays a rousing game of “How many times can you suplex someone before Brock Lesnar claims gimmick infringement?”

Eventually, Angie is left with no choice but to powder out, and the tag team partners circle around each other in the ring. The crowd rises in anticipation as they both share a smile before exchanging blows.

Zed is able to drop Sean with a clothesline, then stomps on his chest for good measure. Sean doesn’t take too kindly to that, rushing to his feet and sending Zed flying across the ring with a German suplex. Zed springs to his feet to match Sean’s energy, but he walks right into the Full Nelson Slam! Sean covers, one, two, NO! Zed kicks out.

Sean looks on in disbelief, and Zed just shakes his head with a smile as if to say, “It’s not going to be that easy, kid.” They stand up and start wailing on each other, and now the crowd is really getting into it.

Razz: What happened to these two guys working together?
Russ: They worked together until it was time to decide who gets to fight for a title tonight. This was always the plan.
Mac: I feel like I’ve seen this movie before.
Razz: Let it go, bro.

Zed gets the upper hand, and shoots Sean into the ropes before greeting him with Raise Up! Zed claps his hands and goes to the top rope for The Answer … but just before he takes off, he comes crashing down on the turnbuckle as Angie pulls his leg out from under him.

Zed falls down in front of the turnbuckle, and Angie locks in a ringpost-assisted Figure Four. Zed writhes in pain , and eventually it’s broken up a bit haphazardly by Sean stomping away on Angie’s hands, with a little friendly fire to Zed.

Sean climbs out of the ring and runs Angie head-first into the ring post before dragging her into the ring. Sean points at Zed to go back to the top turnbuckle, and he tries to shake off the pain and starts to climb the ropes. Sean lifts up Angie in a delayed vertical suplex, only dropping Angie once he sees Zed leaping from the top rope for a leg drop.

As soon as he lands, Zed shouts “COVER HER” and rolls out of the way, holding his knee. Sean is almost stunned at first to Zed stepping out of the way, but does as instructed, one, two, THREE.

Your winner (pinfall; 12:22), Sean Franklin!

Zed grimaces and holds his knee while Sean stands up and has his arm raised in victory. Rev. BRICK~! is clearly doing his best to pretend to be excited with Sean’s win when he’s also frustrated at Zed’s decision. Sean helps Zed to his feet and assists him out of the ring and up the ramp.

• Imperial Onslaught (winner win an anytime contract to face the OOWF World Champion at their choosing) featuring Alexander Darling, Annie Horvath, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, Beverly Cambridge, Bridget O’Malley, Carrie, Dakota, Harper, Hunter, Jack Quinn, Jeff Mangyuniku, Justin Sane, Katie Bardoor, Kylie Mignolio, Liam, Lindsay McAllister, Mac Flasher, Nigel, Nuke, Ona Jones, Pete Quick, PORK and Sandra Fallon.

“King of the World” plays as Alexander Darling is officially the first entrant in the 2023 edition of Imperial Onslaught. Alexander looks only toward the ring as he walks out, assuming his usual perch atop the turnbuckles. “Symphony of Destruction” plays next as the realization washes over the crowd that Jack Quinn is the second entrant. Most fans are whipped into an immediate bloodlust at the idea of Jack and Alexander starting the match. Jack walks over to the corner Alexander is perched at and offers a handshake that Alexander ignores. The bell rings with Mel Creech, Davis Hightower, Angelo Barros and Gavin ‘Junior’ Hale each patrolling a side of the ring.

Russ: “What a treat! Alexander Darling and Jack Quinn starting off Imperial Onslaught!”
Razz: “While it’s exciting, this doesn’t bode well for the title aspirations of two men who now have to outlast almost everyone else in that locker room to get the shot at whomever is World Champion.”

Jack waits patiently for Alexander to join the match, but the clock ticks down with no action until time expires for the No. 3 entrant, as announced by “Kingmaker.”

Mac: “Guys, this might be the standoff of everyone’s dreams. Alex and Jack don’t seem to like each other too much. Jack and Pete are quite familiar with each other and Alex isn’t too fond of Pete. This should be …”

Before Mac can finish his thought, Pete Quick appears on the OOWFTron.

Pete: “Jaaaaaaaaaccccckkkkiiiieeeee. Let’s see how fast that old body can move through this arena. I’m somewhere. Nigel and Liam are with me in that somewhere. Someone you love dearly is also here with us. Clock’s ticking.”

The shot zooms out to show Nigel and Liam donning black gloves and looking at a figure tied to a chair while struggling to get free.

Mac: “Guys! That’s Kali’s haircut. How did they get her?”

Jack wastes no time in exiting the ring before sprinting toward the back. The cameras follow Jack, who picks up Happy Deth Bat along the way to the arena’s “Slap Shot” Room where he finds nobody. As Jack turns to look toward the doorway, a black glove decks Jack, crumbling him to the floor. From there, Pete emerges from a shadow with Nigel and Liam peering over him before continuing the beating. Angie Delpetro then emerges, removing a wig that resembled Kali’s haircut. Pete picks up Happy Deth Bat as a prize before strolling out and toward the ring. While Pete makes his entrance, OOWF officials in the back deem Jack as unable to continue.

Jack Quinn has been eliminated (unable to continue).

Pete busts through the curtains, holding Happy Deth Bat in his glove hand as Alexander is finally bothered enough to drop from the turnbuckles. Pete enters the ring as Alexander slow claps for Pete, who drops his guard and awaits an embrace, but gets a stiff right hand. Alexander picks up the dropped Happy Deth Bat and tosses it from the ring before putting the boots to Pete as the buzzer rings to play “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” as Hunter races down the aisle as the No. 4 entrant and begins to pummel Pete with a rage never before seen in Hunter.

Russ: “Hunter is unleashing a hell that I don’t think anyone ever expected from him.”
Razz: “The Woodsmen are two quirky guys that I’ll never understand, but they are intensely loyal to Jack Quinn, who they see as one of them and also a mentor. This is probably Hunter employing some Woodsmen code and I salute him!”

Hunter continues his assault on Pete with Alexander watching the beatdown. An Irish whip by Hunter sends Pete into Alexander, who greets him with a forearm shiver and an uppercut, pinballing him to Hunter as he overhead suplexes Pete onto the apron. Hunter then charges Pete, only for the conman to drop to his back while pulling the top rope down, sending Hunter careening to the floor.

Hunter has been eliminated (Pete Quick - 1)

Pete steps back into the ring and gets nose to nose with Alexander only for “Cut the Cord” to play with Beverly Cambridge entering as No. 5. Pete backs off from Alexander and tries to form an alliance with Beverly, who humors the offer before plastering Pete on the jaw with rights and lefts, sending him to Alexander, who hits an exploder suplex into the corner, conveniently catching him a tree-of-woe position. Beverly slides in with a dropkick and puts the boots to Pete as the No. 6 entry PORK heads to the ring, not even waiting for his music. PORK charges to the ring, shoves through Alexander and Beverly and stares at the upside-down Pete, who is begging off what’s about to come. PORK, now completely red-faced, unlocks Pete’s ankles and helps him to his feet before a head butt puts him on the ground. PORK then stomps and drops elbows in rapid succession, standing Pete up and whipping him into a corner while following with a corner splash. Pete falls flat on his face as PORK heads to the middle rope and squashes Pete with a pump splash. PORK then goes to the top and hits a top-rope leg drop as Pete tries to take a powder on the outside before “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” draws out Dakota as the No. 7 entrant. Dakota rushes to the ring as Pete stops his escape attempt and sighs.

Russ: “Pete won a battle before ever setting foot in the ring tonight, but he’s getting his ass kicked in this war.”
Mac: “If you’re Pete Quick, this has been a nightmare run of entrants as even those who aren’t necessarily linked in a feud with him are making his life a nightmare.”

Dakota and PORK double team Pete while Beverly and Alexander have paired off and are fighting over an elimination as Beverly was tosses over the top, but landed firmly on the apron before fighting her way back inside, only for an Irish-whipped Pete to barrel into her send her flying over the top and onto the apron again. Alexander seizes the opportunity and shoulder tackles her off the apron before Pete is able to scoop Alexander over the top.

Beverly Cambridge has been eliminated (Alexander Darling - 1)
Alexander Darling has been eliminated (Pete Quick - 2)

Alexander is apoplectic as Pete sarcastically waves goodbye, temporarily forgetting about PORK and Dakota, the latter of the two having assembled the Pain Cabin. Pete turns around as PORK grabs him by the collar and shoves him into the Pain Cabin, alone with Dakota as “Freebird” brings out Awesome Bill from Dawsonville as the No. 8 combatant with Katie Bardoor rushing past Awesome Bill only to be blockaded by OOWF security.

Russ: “Guess we know who No. 9 is.”
Razz: “With what Pete did to Jack, Katie could be No. 20 and will fight her way through to get her hands on him just a bit sooner.”

With the Pain Cabin rocking, PORK and Awesome Bill smile and nod before slugging away at each other, neither getting too much of an advantage. Pete seemingly escapes the Pain Cabin before Dakota pulls him back in for more of whatever goes on in the Pain Cabin as the crowd reaction encourages more punishment. Katie, who has since been verified as No. 9, waits impatiently for the clock to tick down, charging at the security blockade multiple times before the buzzer hits, when the yellow shirts part to let her through. Katie busts into the Pain Cabin and throws Pete through a window, leaving him with cuts all over his face. Katie follows Pete out and batters him with punches to the face, torso, a few low blows for fun and a knee to the groin that drops him to the ground. Dakota cleans the broken glass and calls his insurance agent to get an estimate on the window repair while PORK and Awesome Bill have joined Katie on what Mac calls a ‘Petedown,’ though Katie isn’t in the sharing mood. Pete actually tries to tap out, but Hightower waves it off as submissions are not in play yet. The countdown from 10 to zero hits, playing the Bouncing Souls’ “Anchors Aweigh,” as Annie Horvath strides out as entrant No. 10 with a smile on her face and a heaping helping of crowd support.

Annie trots in and seamlessly joins in on the beating as PORK and Katie run through Pete with a double clothesline before Annie connects with an Anchor Down moonsault. Pete, now wearing a styling crimson mask eats a big boot from Awesome Bill before Dakota delivers a running power slam. PORK picks up the almost lifeless Pete and stands him on the apron before Annie charges and misses a dropkick as Pete collapses, tangling herself in the ropes. Katie pulls Pete back in because, as she yelled, “There’s still more meat on the bone,” as she peppers him with rights. Pete tries to stagger to safety when Carrie, singing her way to the ring with her offering of “My Heart Will Go On” establishing her as No. 11. Carrie immediately rushes in and works Annie free from the rope entanglement, just to push her out.

Annie Horvath has been eliminated (Carrie - 1)

Carrie then heads over to Awesome Bill and picks a fight, only to get booted in the gut and downed with a Go Dawgs. With WAR PIGS and Dakota continuing to hammer away at Pete, a poorly sung cover of “Wrecking Ball” by Harper, making her No. 12. Harper rolls into the ring and drops Awesome Bill with a brass-knucks-aided right hand, leaving him easy prey for The One-Notes to eliminate him.

Awesome Bill from Dawsonville has been eliminated (Carrie - 1.5, Harper - .5)

The One-Notes then start to poke around the Pain Cabin, attracting Dakota away from the beating of Pete. Dakota, trying to protect his handiwork, argues with Carrie, not seeing Harper sneaking up from behind to bash his face against the wall of the cabin and then toss him over the top.

Dakota has been eliminated (Harper - 1.5)

The One-Notes and WAR PIGS stand off as Pete scampers under the bottom rope. A two-on-two hockey fight commences in the ring with WAR PIGS gaining the upper hand. PORK, paired with Harper, and Katie, paired with Carrie, back the two toward the ropes before Katie and PORK each hit one-step lariats to send The One-Notes tumbling to the outside.

Carrie has been eliminated (PORK - 1)
Harper has been eliminated (Katie Bardoor - 1)

WAR PIGS stand tall as Pete hides under the ring. Katie is just about to start the search for Pete, following the blood trail when Nigel, without music, enters as No. 13. As Nigel stands across from WAR PIGS, slowly putting on his black gloves, Pete emerges from underneath the ring and jumps on PORK’s back, triggering a brawl that gets extremely violent as Angie Delpetro, who is not involved in the match, slips a collapsable baton to Nigel, who brains Katie and then PORK with it before folding and handing the weapon to Pete for safe keeping. With WAR PIGS downed, Pete breathes a sigh of relief and hugs Nigel before the pair hoist Katie to her feet and dump her to the outside, repeating the act with PORK.

Katie Bardoor has been eliminated (Pete Quick - 2.5, Nigel - .5)
PORK has been eliminated (Pete Quick - 3, Nigel - 1)

Pete slumps in a corner and catches his air as Nigel adjusts his gloves with Liam, also without music, enters as No. 14.

Mac: “This has to be a welcome sight for Pete Quick. Another ally and at least 90 more more seconds to catch his air.”

Pete smiles and hugs the expressionless duo before calling for a microphone.

Pete: “Is that the best that you could do to stack the desk against me? Lisa Quinn, you’ve lost your edge. The Firewoman that you think you still are would have ensured that I was dead in the ground long before my reinforcements entered this match. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve already won just by getting this far. The rest is just a victory lap. I’m putting whomever is OOWF champion art the end of tonight on notice, because that gold is coming home to The Consortium. Whether it’s Lexie or Sean Franklin, your reign ends when I decide that it …”

“King of the Clouds” draws out Jeff Mangyuniku at No. 15. Jeff while aware of the numbers game, darts in with aplomb and begins striking Nigel before Liam drops him with a slingblade. Nigel and Liam put the boots to Jeff, as Pete, now atop the same turnbuckle that Alexander sat on to start the match, barks orders. Nigel and Liam try to toss Jeff, but he clings to the ropes for dear life until “Just a Girl” plays out Lindsay McAllister at No. 16. Lindsay runs in and gets the heat off of Jeff for a minute, dropkicking Liam into Nigel and then trying to lift Nigel into an Aussie Attack before Pete drops down to raise the odds to his side’s advantage. Liam comes to and shoves Jeff off the apron.

Jeff Mangyuniku has been eliminated (Liam – 1)

The 3-on-1 beatdown commences on Lindsay with “Surf Wax America” playing to a wild reaction as Sandra Fallon gingerly jogs out at No. 17, ducking a big boot from Nigel and catching Liam in an exploder suplex, buckling her knee in the process. With Sandra down on the mat, Lindsay stands in front of her possible ally for the time being, warding off Pete with a roundhouse kick.

Russ: “Mac, I know this has to be tough for you to watch.”
Mac: “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t, but Sandra is tough and even though I tried to talk her out of competing, she assured me that she’ll be fine and that she’ll do what she has to do to win.”
Razz: “Look, Mac. I know you want to be optimistic, but Bridget could be lurking at any number and that’s when Sandra’s dream dies and her knee gets ripped to shreds.”

Sandra, now vertical, stands back-to-back with Lindsay and wards off Pete, Nigel and Liam, with “Hate Breeders” playing out Nuke at No. 18. Nuke heads to the top and cannonballs into all five competitors, getting caught by Nigel on his way down. Nuke starts hitting anything that moves before focusing on Sandra’s wounded knee. Nuke can’t get too far, however, as the young loner has united the two factions with Pete and Lindsay each helping with a back body drop before brawling amongst themselves. The countdown to zero happens with “I Get Wet” playing to a massive hometown pop, but a very annoyed Mac stays at the broadcast table as he should have been No. 19, it seems.

Russ: “Folks. We apologize. The order for Imperial Onslaught was drawn before Mac, or at least a cardboard representation of Mac Flasher, lost to Nuke in a match that meant that the loser could not compete in OOWF for 56 days.”
Razz: “They could have at least not played his music.”
Mac: “Wait. What is Sandra doing?!”

With Lindsay and Pete fighting atop the corner, Nuke and Nigel joined them from the middle turnbuckle with Nuke slugging Lindsay and Nigel trying to get Pete off the ropes. Sandra charges in and hooks Nigel and Nuke from underneath and brings all four down with a tower-of-doom power bomb before collapsing on the mat. Just as Liam is about to begin picking at the table scraps, “Crown on the Ground” plays with Bridget O’Malley grinning like a butcher’s dog at No. 20. The smile is immediately erased from her face as her hometown fans are not in her corner. Bridget, with eyes only on Sandra, enters the ring and stares the injured rookie down before Lindsay drills her with a flying forearm and then tries a hurricanrana before Bridget steadies herself and throws Lindsay out.

Lindsay McAllister has been eliminated (Bridget O’Malley – 1)

Nuke comes to and spies Bridget from the corner of his eye. Nuke nods at Bridget, who nods in reply. Nuke starts to walk to Sandra, who still cannot stand, only for Bridget to grab Nuke by his jeans and toss him out, shouting “She’s mine!” during the toss-out.

Nuke has been eliminated (Bridget O’Malley - 2)

With The Consortium coming to, Pete holds back Nigel and Liam to allow Bridget full access to Sandra, who is finally standing thanks to the nearby ropes. As Bridget grins and starts talking trash to Sandra, Mac tries to get up from the table before Razz pulls him down.

Razz: “Buddy, you can’t get involved. I know this is a bad spot for her, but …”

“Insane in the Brain” plays with Justin Sane making his in-ring return at No. 21. Justin does not appear right away, but the arena’s lights start to flicker. Then the music stops. Then the lights go out entirely.

DOOOOOUUUUUUUGGGGHAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKK!

A factory whistle sounds before the sounds of past Johnstown industries – steel mills and coal mines – permeate through the arena. The goal horn of the Johnstown Tomahawks, the city’s NAHL junior hockey club, blares through before the arena lights come on with Bridget and Sandra standing on opposite sides of the ring with The Consortium all on the apron, very confused as to how they got there. Justin, in the middle of the ring, charges with a High-Risk Headlock on Pete, shoving Nigel and Liam to the floor before Pete steadies himself and tosses Justin over the barricade.

Nigel has been eliminated (Justin Sane - 1)
Liam has been eliminated (Justin Sane - 2)
Justin Sane has been eliminated (Pete Quick - 4)

Pete, exhaustedly rolls back into the ring as Bridget circles the wary Sandra. Bridget teases a few charges, but just wants to keep Sandra uneasy. Finally Bridget runs in, only to get caught in a power slam as Sandra pops up and immediately taps her knee while taunting the downed Bridget.

Mac: “SHADES OF ROD WOODSON IN SUPER BOWL XXX! LET’S FUCKING GO, SANDRA! Bridget wanted to test the knee and Sandra shows that she can still go. I can’t believe it!”
Russ: “Pretty sure that Rod Woodson didn’t power slam Michael Irvin on that play she’s referencing.”
Razz: “Partner, just let him have this one.”

Pete, picking his spot, barrels into Sandra’s knee, buckling it and putting the rookie on the mat in considerable pain. Pete then passes the collapsable baton to Bridget as “Jaded” plays in Kylie Mignolio at No. 22. Kylie heads to the ring, as Bridget sees her tag partner and smiles from ear to ear. Kylie checks on Sandra as Bridget hugs her Frenemies partner, who quickly shoves out of the hug. Bridget questions the shove, only for Pete to interject and try to convince the two to help him toss out Sandra. Bridget shoves Pete away and reiterates that Sandra is Bridget’s business as Pete backs away, into Sandra’s grip as she overhead suplexes him over the top before a back elbow loosens Pete’s grip on the top rope. Another back elbow puts Pete on his back … On the outside.

Pete Quick has been eliminated (Sandra Fallon – 1)

Sandra doesn’t have long to celebrate her work as Bridget hits a low dropkick that hits more of Sandra’s calf than knee, but does the trick. Kylie is not without something to do for very long as Ona Jones, walks out at No. 23 with no music, seemingly completing the field and giving a final four of Bridget, Kylie, Sandra and Ona.

Russ: “To paint this picture. There are two seasoned veterans and two rookies in this final group of four. One of these four will win Imperial Onslaught. Of these four, nobody has held the OOWF World Championship. A golden opportunity awaits!”

Ona immediately goes after Bridget while Kylie and Sandra begin grappling along the ropes. Bridget quickly overpowers Ona and judo tosses her across the ring and joins the fray with Kylie, blasting Sandra with the baton, leaving her easy prey for an elimination as Bridget, with an exaggerated roar, sends a nearly unconscious Sandra to the outside.

Sandra Fallon has been eliminated (Bridget O’Malley - 3)

Kylie shoves the celebrant Bridget and gets in her face over the use of the baton all while a groggy Sandra is helped to the back by Mac, who was permitted to leave the table by Russ, who also wanted Mac to fetch him an order of chicken tenders and fries from the concession stand on his way back to the table.

Ona and Kylie begin to battle Bridget with Ona having no qualms in beating the tar out of Bridget, running up the ropes and locking a headscissors on Bridget, who chuckles and tosses the rookie out, almost in the same spot that Sandra landed moments before.

Ona Jones has been eliminated (Bridget O’Malley - 4)

Bridget talks trash to Ona as Kylie and Bridget are the final two remaining. Kylie, while conflicted, gets into a hockey fight with the taller Bridget, putting aside what may be left of the deteriorating friendship for the golden opportunity that awaits the winner. Before the two can get into a heated battle. “Party Boy Song” plays with OOWF Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox stepping onto the ramp.

Shizuru-Mune: “Ladies. I apologize for the interruption, but I have an announcement to make. When OOWF advertised this event for Johnstown, Pennsylvania, we promised local fans that there would be 24 combatants in Imperial Onslaught. This was before Mac and Nuke made their stipulation for Hell on Earth that the loser would be banned for four shows, including tonight’s. Our legal team repeatedly reminded us that we needed 24 combatants. After consulting a few of our rookies, we learned that Diego ‘Pop’ Roxton has quietly retired from competition while our rookie tag teams – The Electric Company and The Battling Baristas – insisted that both members be involved, when we only had one available slot. We then opened this spot to a local competitor, one that was brought to our attention anonymously and … I’ll be honest, there is no video of this competitor, but he received a ringing endorsement from the tipster. This grappler was supposed to take the No. 19 position, but arrived late, claiming that he was stuck in traffic. But he is here now, so without further adieu …”

“El Scorcho” by Weezer plays to the confusion of everyone in the arena.

Shizuru-Mune: “I give to you, from the top end of Sheridan Street in Johnstown, the self-proclaimed Flood City Luchador, El Scorcho!”

A masked wrestler, adorned in black and yellow garb, enters and shakes hands with Shizuru-Mune, as roughly 4,000 sets of eyes are seeing this local wrestler for the first time. El Scorcho eggs on the crowd, which has no idea what to make of the unknown wrestler who stands roughly 6-foot-4 and might be checking in at around 245 pounds, and does nothing but sit there. El Scorcho enters the ring as Kylie scouts out the new opponent while Bridget points at El Scorcho’s footwear – black Converse All-Stars – and loses her composure. While Bridget rolls under the ropes and yells at Russ and Razz, because El Scorcho reminds her of someone who has broadcast duty, Kylie and El Scorcho begin a chain-wrestling sequence that Kylie wins in a technical sense, but El Scorcho wins when it goes to a power game. Bridget enters the ring again and starts shrieking at El Scorcho, distracting him long enough for Kylie to dropkick El Scorcho from behind and send him over the ropes, but onto the apron. El Scorcho tries to gather himself, but absorbs a shoulder tackle from Bridget, who bounces back and bumps heads with Kylie, who was trying to leapfrog Bridget to get to El Scorcho. With Bridget and Kylie down, El Scorcho steps back in and grabs Bridget, fighting with her over trying to lock her into what looks suspiciously like the Duquesne Incline. Bridget back drops El Scorcho and ducks a charging Kylie as her crossbody attempt sends her crashing to the outside.

Kylie Mignolio has been eliminated (Bridget O’Malley - 5)

While Bridget and El Scorcho circle each other as the final two combatants, some of the smarter fans in the room are catching on to possibly identifying El Scorcho, but they’re content to rattle Bridget with chants about Cardboard Mac and a few “Sandra’s hotter” quips. Bridget, on the verge of losing it, tries to attack El Scorcho with a Lou Thesz Press, but gets caught and spun into a spinebuster with the arena fully behind the masked, supposed, Johnstowner. El Scorcho points up and then down before grabbing Bridget in a front face lock. El Scorcho then lifts Bridget up before delivering a spinning brain buster that whips the arena in a frenzy.

Russ: “I’ve just been handed this note that El Scorcho calls that The Terrible Towel Twirl and it just might win him Imperial Onslaught.”

El Scorcho goes for the cover with Hightower counting 3, as Bridget kicks out at 3.5.

Bridget O’Malley has been eliminated (El Scorcho - 1).

Your Imperial Onslaught winner (pinfall, 1:09.54), Johnstown’s own, El Scorcho!

El Scorcho covers his already covered face in shock as Hightower presents him with his Imperial Onslaught winner’s medallion, which when turned in grants an OOWF World Championship match against whomever carries the title. El Scorcho then salutes the fans before making a hasty exit while Bridget is starting to come to. Bridget immediately starts yelling at the match officials, fans, anyone within the same area code, all while trying to convince anyone within an earshot that El Scorcho might be Mac Flasher.

Razz: “Nobody knows for certain who this kid is, but he just won one of the biggest matches OOWF offers and he defended the hometown of Mac Flasher in doing so.”
Russ: “All I know is that Mac needs to make with my concession order fast.”

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. winner of Champions’ Challenge
Before the entrances, Mac makes a hasty return with a box of concessions in hand.

Russ: “About time! What took so long?”
Mac: “The lines get long in this building.”
Razz: “Mac, why are you sweating?”
Mac: “Poor ventilation in the concourse. It’s like a human air fryer when its gets crowded.”
Razz: “Is that a shiner on the left side of your …”
Mac: “Heeeeeey, I think I hear Sean’s music.”

“Enemy” by Imagine Dragons plays with Sean, The Reverend BRICK~! and Zed coming out united, but letting Sean take the lead on the way to the ring. Sean smiles as he gets the most positive reaction since joining OOWF, gesturing with hands motioning in front of his waist that he’s got his eyes on more gold than he currently possesses. Sean takes to the turnbuckles as “Radioactive” hits, drawing out Lexie as she gets a louder reaction, but not by much.

Russ: “These fans love Lexie Darling, and they’re not afraid to show it.”
Razz: “Don’t discount what Sean Franklin has done to go from one of the most despised rookies in that class to a tag champion and a favorite of the fans.”
Mac: “I’m sure that a lot of that has to do with his association with Zed and the Reverend BRICK~!, but credit to the guy. He’s got an opportunity to be one of this company’s youngest world champions ever and also a double champion just seven months into his OOWF career.”

Lexie enters the ring, shows the title to all four sides of fans before handing the gold to Mel Creech, who ceremoniously holds it over his head before signaling for the match to start. Sean and Lexie circle each other as dueling chants fill the arena. Sean locks up with Lexie, wrestling her down to the mat, but gives up a somewhat effortless escape as Lexie reverses to a headscissors before Sean wiggles free. Sean tries to shoot inside, but Lexie matadors him to the corner where he stops a step short of colliding with the turnbuckles. Sean turns around an eats a shotgun dropkick that slumps him in the corner.

Mac: “Razz, you’ve been in there. How frustrating is it to have a solid game plan, but have it fall apart because your opponent is just a hair faster?”
Razz: “Mac, you know this, too. It’s the worst feeling to have your opponent scouted, but then you learn in the fight that you’ve been scouted better.”

Sean rolls out as BRICK~! and Zed offer advice, Sean correctly listening more intently to Zed than BRICK~!. Sean rolls back in and grabs at Lexie’s ankle, dropping her to the mat before establishing a rear mount and an attempt at a chin lock. Lexie fights, but cannot free herself, as Sean’s arrogance shows itself with some trash talk and a half-nelson pinning attempt getting 1 only because the rookie let Lexie up. Lexie gets vertical and slaps the taste from Sean’s mouth, enraging him as he charges and is tripped up by a drop toe hold and then Lexie offers the same rear mount treatment with a bit of returned trash talk.

Russ: “Make no mistake about it, Lexie might be a more pleasant person to deal with when compared to her twin brother, but your life is in her hands if you disrespect her.”

Lexie tries to roll Sean over into a half-nelson pin, but Sean’s superior grappling takes over as spins a reverse and deadlifts Lexie into a German suplex. Sean then takes the stunned Lexie and lifts her in position for a buckle bomb that is avoided when Lexie reverses out as Sean runs into the corner. Lexie rolls the dazed Sean up to get 2. With Sean trying to scramble away, Lexie grapevines his leg and begins working his knee with straight punches and then a series of elbow drops once Sean is sufficiently grounded. Lexie then rolls Sean onto his stomach and locks the leg in a half crab. Sean manages to crawl to the ropes quickly as BRICK~! pulls him out while Zed gestures to Creech and Lexie that he has nothing to do with this assisted exit.

Russ: “You know that Zed would love to see Sean Franklin climb that mountaintop, but he’s also doing his damnedest to make sure that Sean does it on his own without any help from the outside.”
Mac: “The good reverend has no such qualms, however.”

Sean gingerly steps back into the ring and avoids Lexie’s try at a low tackle, grabbing her by the waist and gut-wrenching her into a 2-count. Sean, after shaking his knee back into working order, hits Lexie with an axe kick and then an axe bomber before a half-and-half suplex gets another 2. Sean, takes down the straps and lets out a yell as he plants Lexie with a belly-to-belly suplex. With neutral fans starting to side with Sean, the young underdog hoists Lexie up for an Olympic Slam that gets 2.5. Sean questions Creech’s counting speed, getting in his face and turning his back on Lexie long enough that she can load up a dropkick on Sean that sends him into Creech as the official is crushed in the corner. Sean checks on Creech, but Zed waves him off and takes on that caretaker role while urging Sean to focus on Lexie. Sean spins around and into a snapping crescent kick that drops him cold. Lexie instinctively covers and gets about a 7 from the crowd, but 0 from a dazed Creech. Lexie heads to the corner to see the woozy official and Zed, but doesn’t see the brass knuckles that BRICK~! slid into the ring for Sean. Zed does however as he darts to Sean and claims the object while chiding his tag partner, stressing, “Not like this! This is not how you want to do this.” With Creech standing, Lexie sees the brass knuckles in Zed’s hands and accuses him of trying to slip them to Sean. Creech, who also sees the knucks in Zed’s hands, injects him from ringside. Zed ponders a protest, but slides out of the ring tosses them back to BRICK~! and walks to the back.

Mac: “Zed has been on both sides of the coin, I have lived a miserable time when he was on the side that would encourage what was about to happen, but it really feels that as long as Sean is under Zed’s wing, Zed won’t tolerate that type of chicanery.”
Razz: “Mac … It’s the OOWF World Title! Zed should be allowing Sean to roll to the ring with a shopping cart filled with weapons to use as he chooses.”

Sean, now yelling at Creech for ejecting Zed, doesn’t suspect Lexie’s proximity behind him as she kicks at the knee and then secures a Darling Clutch in the center of the ring. Sean battles through the pain of the inverted cloverleaf and starts to pull himself closer to the ropes, which BRICK~! is pushing inward to assist. Lexie stands up to add leverage before pulling Sean back to the center. Sean can stand no more as he taps the mat.

Your winner (submission, 15:49) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!

Afterward, Lexie releases the hold as BRICK~! checks on his charge. Zed heads back to ringside to check on Sean, as well. Sean, frustrated by the opportunity that slipped through his fingers, slowly gets to his feet and looks indecisively at BRICK~! and Zed before Zed diffuses the situation. While that is going on, the OOWFTron shows El Scorcho in front of an interview banner.

El Scorcho *through a voice modulator*: “Lexie, congratulations on your successful title defense. Just know that as long as I hold this medallion, you are safe from surprises. I will accept this opportunity as an honor, not only for myself but for the people of this city, the one I represent proudly …”

The feed then shows Bridget O’Malley tearing through the banner as El Scorcho makes an escape, leaving Lexie perplexed in the ring.

Russ: “The newest star in OOWF has spoken, and he’s making sure that he does right by the champion.”
Mac: “It’s refreshing to see someone not use that opportunity to advance their career with some kind of shock challenge after the champion has just gone through a grueling defense.”
Razz: “That’s only refreshing if the new guy survives future encounters with an enraged Bridget O’Malley.”

Lexie closes the show by standing atop the entrance ramp with the title held high above her head.

OOWF Hell on Earth – Sept. 23, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• For the final entry spot in Imperial Onslaught: Beverly Cambridge vs. Bridget O’Malley vs. Jeff Mangyuniku
“King of the Clouds” implies Jeff’s arrival as he stands atop the ramp and soaks in the cheers before trotting on in. “Cut the Cord” plays next as Beverly gets a slightly louder reaction than Jeff, but nobody is really keeping score. Beverly enters the ring and stretches on the ropes as “Crown on the Ground” interrupts with Bridget carrying her cardboard beau to ringside. Before ring announcer Mike Elevenbee can complete his introduction of Bridget, she insists that he announce “Mac” as her manager, which Elevenbee indulges.

Russ: “Something happened recently with this girl and now she’s nuttier than a Snickers bar.”
Razz: “Don’t hate on Bridget. All Mac had to do was choose her over what might have been a better choice for him. If anything, this all rests on Mac.”

Ben Coleman calls for the bell with Jeff and Beverly pairing off in a chain-wrestling sequence as Bridget, with “Mac” standing in a corner, seemingly receives advice from her corrugated manager. Jeff arm drags Beverly toward Bridget’s corner location, sending her skittering into Bridget’s legs, taking her down while also bumping “Mac” to the floor. Bridget tends to “Mac” and stands him back up in the corner while Jeff and Beverly look on with equal parts concern and annoyance. Bridget rolls into the ring and tries to roll up Jeff, who barely budges, as Beverly sneaks a pin attempt on the downed Bridget and gets 1. Bridget kips up and pelts both Jeff and Beverly with forearm strikes and hoists Beverly into an exploder suplex before Jeff retaliates with a King-Kong lariat that folds Bridget but only gets 1. Jeff then gets Bridget into an exploder suplex of his own, but has his pin attempt broken up by Beverly, who is pulled into a roll-up by Bridget that gets 2 before all three are up and standing off. The crowd responds accordingly with Beverly and Jeff nodding at each as Bridget heads over to “Mac” for advice.

Jeff slowly approaches Bridget, but is halted by Bridget as she’s still still listening to “Mac” as she shouts, “WE’RE STILL TALKING!” to the youngster. Jeff backs off, and into a backstabber from Beverly that segues into an STF attempt before Bridget stops the submission try. Beverly and Bridget stand off with Jeff popping up as all three start dishing out blows to whomever is in range. A clothesline attempt by Jeff is ducked by Bridget and eaten by Beverly, but Bridget steals the pin attempt, getting 2 before Jeff breaks it up. As Bridget gets vertical, Jeff wraps her up and hits repeated Doom Clouds, seemingly taking out frustrations from two weeks of patronizing Bridget. A series of pin tries get 2, but each one goes a bit longer until Beverly puts a stop to the cobra-clutch suplex parade. While Beverly and Jeff converse, Bridget crawls to her corner and tags “Mac.” Coleman shrugs and signals tag while Jeff and Beverly sigh and nod to each other as if they prepared for such a thing. Jeff walks to the corner and immediately drops from a devastating right hand from “Mac,” who is gently placed into the ring by the still-downed Jeff as Beverly charges and falls, seemingly from a big boot. Jeff places “Mac” on the top turnbuckle and lets him fall onto Beverly, getting 2 before a valiant kick-out from Beverly.

Russ: “I’m not sure what is going on, but I think I almost witnessed a stolen victory by a piece of cardboard.”
Razz: “Sign this version of ‘Mac’ up for the DDT division! He can fucking go!”

“Mac” continues his hot streak, twisting Jeff through the air with what Razz excitedly calls a “cardboardcanrana" that gets 2.5 from Beverly before she pulls the standee over to break up the pin. Beverly then is pulled into the corner by “Mac” as she gently slides him across the mat in position for a tornado DDT that gets 2 before Jeff removes “Mac” from the pinning situation. By this point, even the most skeptical fan is losing their mind for “Mac” as Jeff guides him over the ropes for a tope con hilo that drills Beverly and sends her into the broadcast table. While all this happens, Bridget is still recovering on the outside, totally unaware of “Mac” taking over the match. Beverly and Jeff help “Mac” back into the ring and are victimized by a double clothesline, but “Mac” doesn’t follow up as Bridget lunges from the outside and tags herself back in. While still not a tag match, Coleman recognizes the tag because he gets paid by the match and not for therapy. Bridget comes in a house of fire with rights and lefts for both Jeff and Beverly. Bridget runs through Jeff with a shoulder tackle, but is tripped by Beverly who drives a knee to her shoulder blade before trying a La Bell Lock. Bridget fights her way to the ropes and brushes her hand against “Mac,” making him legal again because Coleman has again stopped caring. Bridget vaults “Mac” into the ring as Beverly collapses like a house of cards after what was clearly a springboard crossbody that gets 2 before Jeff breaks up the pin. Jeff then stands the standee up and stares right at Bridget before spearing “Mac,” literally folding the standee in two before getting 2.9 on the pin thanks to Bridget stopping the count. Bridget, now seeing red, pulls Jeff up by the hair and knees him repeatedly in the face and upper torso, seemingly breaking his nose after one heavy strike. While Beverly tries to break up the assault, Bridget – now completely enraged – decks swings an elbow at Beverly before kneeing Jeff in the throat. All of this while “Mac” lay on the ground, still folded. Bridget cinches Jeff in a chicken-wing sleeper and pulls him down as the youngster tries his hardest to fight through. Jeff’s tap comes a second before Beverly is able to pry Bridget’s hands apart.

Your winner (submission, 14:24) and the final entrant in Imperial Onslaught, Bridget O’Malley!

Afterward, Beverly confronts Bridget, who turns her attention to a still-downed and lifeless “Mac.” As a very panicked Bridget comforts “Mac,” she waves for OOWF Medical to come to the ring. Beverly holds a very upset Jeff away as Bridget frantically yells for medical help. Finally OOWF Medical arrives with a stretcher to tend to “Mac” as Bridget watches closely. Medical wheels “Mac” out of the ring as the crowd gives a standing ovation to the heroic souvenir.

• Steel cage match: War Pigs vs. The Royal Guard
The teams brawl down the aisle as the War Pigs were making their way to ringside with Nigel and Liam leading the Shokan Dojo trainees into the cage and demanding that Misami Misawa close and lock the cage to start the match. Misawa obliges and the bell rings as the cage is padlocked. Katie pounds on Nigel to start and the War Pigs work some slick double teams before Liam breaks up the onslaught. Liam jabs Katie in the throat and helps Nigel isolate PORK for a bit, hitting a double suplex and then double springboard clothesline that gets 2. The Royal Guard work PORK over before Katie recovers and drops both men with leg lariats, following up with a running knee to Liam’s jaw. PORK gets an inverted DDT on Nigel. Katie hammers away on Liam while Nigel climbs the cage to get distance from PORK, getting as far as the top top before PORK pulls him down and drops an elbow to get 2.

Liam gets the advantage on Katie with a backdrop suplex that gets 2. The Guard run Katie into the cage and then run PORK into Katie, crushing her against the cage. The Guard then take turns with corner splashes on Katie, but fall victim to a top-rope clothesline from PORK, who sends Liam into the cage and splashes him before doing the same to Nigel in the opposite corner.

Russ: “PORK is on a rampage, and there is nowhere for The Royal Guard to escape to!”
Razz: “Russ, when you have PORK’s experience ANNNNND Jack Quinn as a mentor, this type of performance is expected in a grudge match such as this.”

Katie DDTs Liam for 2 while PORK misses a second corner splash on Nigel, who puts him in the tree of woe and stomps away before joining Liam for a double flapjack on Katie that gets 2. While The Royal Guard are on the offensive, Angie Delpetro emerges from under the ring and slips a table through the convenient opening between the cage and apron. Nigel sets up the table and places Katie on it with Liam ascending the ropes. Katie rolls off and fights Liam on the ropes, securing an exploder suplex that gets canvas when Nigel pulls the table away from the landing spot. With Katie and Liam down, PORK frees himself and stands behind Nigel, who bumps into PORK while backing up. Nigel turns around and eats a right hand from PORK, who then hammers down Nigel and takes him over his shoulder before climbing the ropes. Still with a woozy Nigel on his shoulder, PORK stands on the top rope, leaps and crushes Nigel through the table with a top-rope power slam. Liam is still too out of it to make the save with Misawa counting 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 10:32), WAR PIGS!

Afterward, PORK rolls off Nigel and is greeted by Katie, who is impressed by the wreckage. PORK slowly gets to his feet and slowly realizes that the fans are chanting his name, while Liam pulls an unresponsive Nigel from the table and out of the ring.

• Sandra Fallon and Annie Horvath vs. The One-Notes
A karaoke version of “I Will Survive” unfortunately is how The One-Notes make their way to the ring. Carrie does not live up to her name as she cannot carry even the simplest of notes while Harper is not quite the harmonious backup needed to help Carrie through the song. While almost everyone in attendance is covering their ears, The One-Notes are about to encore before The Bouncing Souls’ “Anchors Aweigh” interrupts to bring out a fiery Annie, who cannot quite comprehend the reaction for her as she stands atop the ramp to wait for her partner Sandra, who is played out by “Surf Wax America.” The two fist bump and head to the ring in a hurry, cleaning house despite an attempted ambush by The One-Notes. A dropkick from Annie sends Carrie to the outside while Sandra delivers a running knee lift to handle Harper for the time being. Annie and Sandra salute the fans while The One-Notes seethe on the outside.

Gavin “Junior” Hale waits for one of The One-Notes, Carrie in this case, to enter the ring before signaling for the match to start. Annie stays inside for her team and slips out of a grapple and nails Carrie with a crescent kick before guiding Carrie the corner where a monkey flip try goes for naught as Carrie easily shoves the neophyte off. Carrie controls with a headlock and brings Annie to the mat, trying to convert the headlock into a pinning combination and getting 1 a few times before Annie fights her way out. Annie enthusiastically tries a bulldog after a boot to the gut, but is tossed across the ring by Carrie, who tags in Harper as Sandra tags in. Harper asks for a test of strength, but Sandra instead smiles and gets a full arm drag and twist to remove Harper from her standing position. Sandra works the arm a bit, but Harper rakes the eyes to gain an advantage as Carrie inserts herself into matters when Sandra is shoved into The One-Notes’ corner. Carrie and Harper work Sandra over, inserting some musical stylings that seem to discomfort the Californian more than the actual offense. Hale tries to keep one One-Note in the ring, but they exchange tags fast enough to keep a perpetual five count running with their double-team attacks, which have become mostly clubbing forearms and a few kicks and knee strikes.

Harper peels Sandra out of the corner and grabs her by the ankles, lifting her up and swinging her in the Metronome with about a dozen rapid trips back and forth before dropping her and getting 2.5 on a pinfall try.

Russ: “That move has gotten a submission win and almost led to a pin. Dare I say that Harper might be on the right path with the creation of that move?”
Razz: “It’s gotta be disorienting for sure with the sudden direction changes and then the drop. Sandra has to be wondering where she is.”

Sandra tries crawling to her corner, but reaches up and gets nothing as her team’s corner is on the other side. As Sandra realizes her folly, a freshly tagged Carrie shoves Annie off the apron with Sandra about two steps away. Carrie then drops an elbow on Sandra’s neck and then pulls her into a neck crank as Annie shakes the cobwebs before pounding the turnbuckle pad to get the crowd behind her partner. Sandra gets to a vertical base and elbows her way free before falling to her knees. Sandra is almost able to tag in Annie, but Carrie grabs her ankle and pulls her toward the middle of the ring. Sandra is able to kick her way out of a heel hook try and delivers an enziguri before slowly crawling toward Annie and making the tag. Annie, the proverbial house of fire, delivers a series of punches to Carrie and has a few for Harper before Sandra recovers enough to dropkick her out of the ring. With Carrie a bit dazed, Annie whispers an idea into Sandra’s ear as Annie places herself in a bulldog headlock and lets Sandra lead her head first into Carrie’s stomach. With Carrie now on her back, Annie falls sideways with a head butt that seemingly knocks the wind from Carrie. Annie then rushes to the top turnbuckle with Sandra egging her on. Anchor Down his flush and gets 3 as Sandra cuts off Harper’s hopes of a save.

Your winners (pinfall, 9:39), the team of Sandra Fallon and Annie Horvath.

Afterward, Annie leaps into a hug from Sandra and smiles from ear to ear while Harper shoves the two down. Annie kips up and gets in Harper’s face, receiving a face-wash before biting Harper’s index finger. Sandra pulls Annie away with the two teams, in varying conditions, standing off before The One-Notes was away, leaving the surfer-punk tandem standing tall.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville (c) vs. Angie Delpetro
Angie walks to the ring with no music, but is filling the dead air with her claims of being the future Intercontinental Champion. “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” interrupts with Awesome Bill, Justin Sane, Ellie May from Ellijay and the tandem of Drunkey and Drunkette emerging from the back to a thunderous roar.

Russ: “Finally, Awesome Bill has been reunited with his best friend and his business manager along with his two donkey companions!”
Razz: “I can smell the PCPL on them. The reopened Nowhere Bar, Grille and PCPL Repository has been bumping since Justin Sane arrived in the courtroom during the Jack Quinn trial!”

Awesome Bill almost doesn’t wait for the bell to get after Angie, who puts her hand up to stop him and then runs her finger across his jawline with a look that indicate intent of seduction. As Angie runs her finger down her chest, Ellie May – complete with rolling pin – has climbed into the ring and is ready to swing at Angie, who bails to the outside, right to Drunkey and Drunkette, who give chase before Justin puts out both hands to stop her and ask for $5. Angie slugs Justin before Awesome Bill pulls Angie up into the ring from the outside and tosses her unceremoniously into the corner. Despite Angie’s protests, Misato Misawa sees nothing wrong with the extracurricular activity as he points to the timekeeper’s table to start the match proper.

Angie immediately goes for her chloroform rag and tries to smother Awesome Bill, who licks the cloth and wants more, much to the shock of Angie.

Russ: “When you practically live on PCPL, chloroform is like a soft drink.”
Razz: “The memoir that his liver is going to write one day is going to be a bestseller!”

Angie, now totally frustrated, tries to slug Awesome Bill down, but is met with a block and a patronizing trip to a seat on the top turnbuckle. Awesome Bill turns away and gestures to the fans before Angie leaps on his back with a sleeper hold attempt that drops Awesome Bill to a knee. With Awesome Bill starting to slow down in his fight, Misawa drops the arm once … Twice … then the arena lights go dark.

DOOOOOOUUUUUUUGGGGGHHAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKK!

In the darkened arena, all that can be heard is the yodel from The Price is Right game “Cliffhanger,” the sound of exactly 38 dogs barking, a train whistle and construction machinery before the lights pop on to Awesome Bill and Justin in a manly hug while Angie, completely unfazed by the devastation of the mighty DOOOOOOUUUUUUUGGGGGHHAAAAAWWWWWWWKKKKKK, casually rolls Awesome Bill up and gets a tights-aided 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 5:34) and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Angie Delpetro!

Afterward, Angie rolls out of the ring with her new prize while Awesome Bill and Justin shrug off the loss before pulling mini PCPL bottles from their pockets and drinking up, much to the delight of the fans.

• Firewoman vs. Stacy Kirkland
Firewoman enters the ring with some cheers of ‘Welcome Back’ and ‘Get Well Soon’ and mostly “One More Match” when they see she’s wearing her ring attire, although she tends to do that when she’s making any ring appearance, just in case. She takes in the crowd and looks around, mouthing “Thank you,” putting her hands together in Namaste, bowing slightly. Finally she motions for the microphone.

FW: I can’t tell you … it is SOOOO good to STILL be here!

Many, many cheers…

FW: I first of all want to thank EVERYONE … all of you ... for the cards and videos and social media messages and … I watched every single one of them and I think that is why I’ve made such a rapid recovery.

Cheers again. 

FW: My last match … I was able to prove something to myself. To exercise the demon of Imposter Syndrom that had haunted me…well, basically my entire professional life. And I have to thank Chris Jericho… 

She is momentarily interrupted by Boos, which she shakes her head and motions to stop.

FW: No, no… I know… But still… Thank you Chris for being such a good … LOSER!!

Cheers at that. And chants of Y-2-LOSER.

FW: Anyway, Hell on Earth has always been special, but this one is especially so, because the last Hell on Earth was cancelled… and shout out to those of you have kept those tickets and are using them tonight.

Cheers.. More than there really should be. Fire also applauds them.

FW: SO…one thing you know about me, is that I hate it when something is left undone. That’s why we can’t go to a certain state in the middle of the country anymore.

Some smart-ass fan starts singing eventually the bulk of the crowd is singing the chorus of Oklahoma, as Fire laughs and sings along. Many cheers at the end.

FW: That was beautiful!

Cheers.

FW: Okay, so you do know! Anyway, as we were getting this ship back to sail, I went back and reviewed some things, and I noticed. So the last event, in my least favorite place on the planet, I was going to reveal who the Benefactor was … And I had three matches that night, as I tried to do the impossible and win all three championships in one night. And I did …

Cheers

FW: Well, almost. I won the Onslaught from Mac, and then I won the Intercontinental from Stacy Kirkland, by DQ, and then I was poised to win the World when Stacy interfered, and the match was declared a no contest. And I hate leaving anything unfinished. So … tonight … some of y’all get your wish. Hit it, truck monkeys.

Firewoman takes off her jacket. As she does “Bad Mama Jama” by Carl Carlton fires up and there is a super-surprised pop for “Black Magic” Stacy Kirkland. She strides confidently down to the ring, as Firewoman gets rid of the microphone. Referee SOMOENE appears. Fire and Stacy talk for a bit, calmly at first, but then it appears accusations of cheating from their last meetings arise, and before things can get out of hand, we get the bell.

There is no time wasted as the two lock up and run through the opening moves to test each other’s ring rust. Stacy appears to also want to test Fire’s heart condition and keeps the speed and energy up, but Fire doesn’t lose a step…or her breath! Stacy hops up to the top ropes and does a quick moonsault, but Fire dodges it and Stacy lands on her feet. Fire tries for a Medium-sized Boot but Stacy catches it. She spins Fire around and applies a few elbows to the back of Fire’s head, into the turnbuckle. Some more wild brawly-punches later and Fire appears to be done for. Stacy takes a break, and Fire was just playing possum it appears because she blasts out of the corner with a kick to the Stacy’s stomach, and then a quick DDT. Fire could go for a pin, but why? She puts Stacy in a last chancery.

Russ: A nod to one of Fire’s OTHER trainers.
Razz: Maybe she can challenge him next!

Fire cranks it down, and Stacy’s arms flail around trying to find something, anything, to break the hold. She finally does… a thumb to the eye. Fire releases the hold and falls back.

Russ: You can’t train the eyes! That Stacy will use any tactic, legal or not.
Razz: Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to win, and Fire is no stranger to that mentality.

Stacy takes advantage of Fire’s eye issues to grab her leg and put her into a figure four. Even at 40ish, Fire is still pretty limber with all that yoga, and Stacy has to really bear down for Fire to feel any pain, but bear down she does, pulling Fire to the center of the ring. Fire flails around trying to break the hold. Referee Barros asks if she wants to tap and Fire tells him exactly what she thinks of that.

Razz: That’s a dollar for Josie’s swear jar!

Fire tries to work her way to the edge for a rope break, something… ANYTHING, but Stacy keeps her squarely in the center. The only way out is to reverse the hold, which Fire tries …. But Stacy resist and turns it back. Fire regroups, and tries a second time…. Nothing, and Kirkland is REALLY working it now… Fire takes a deep breath and tries a third time and slowly… slowly…. Slooooowly…REVERSES THE HOLD! Now it’s Fire’s turn to apply the pressure, but even with all that yoga, tendons and ligaments aren’t what they used to be and Fire has to release it. She and Stacy crawl to opposite corners and pull themselves up, trying to see if their respective legs still work. They do and the women simultaneously fly at each other out of the corners… SIMULTANEOUS CLOTHESLINES!! The two women recover slowly, but Stacy is first, and she grabs Fire’s arm to whip her into the far ropes. Fire bounces out and right into a WHEEL OF FORTUNE (tilt-awhirl backbreaker). Stacy goes for the in, but Fire kicks out at around 1.5 of the count. Some more brawling and hockey punches between the two. Fire breaks free and pushes off heading to the turnbuckle. She climbs atop and signals for the Firesault, but Stacy is not quite done yet. She climbs up after her! The two brawl a bit but a punch to Stacy’s midsection doubles her over. Fire gets her into a front face lock, pauses for the photo shot, and flies….TORNADO DDT!!!
The crowd goes wild, both women lay there catching their breath, but Fire moves first. She hooks the leg, one, two…THREE~!

Your winner (pinfall, 11:09), FIREWOMAN! 

After the match, the women stand. Barros raises Fire’s hand. Fire and Stacy look at each other ... And then Fire puts out her hand.

Razz: Don’t do it, Stacy!!
Russ: Shut up, Fire’s a changed woman.
Razz: Quinns don’t change.

Stacy hesitates, and then takes Fire’s hand. The two women nod in mutual appreciation. Fire let’s go and points to Stacy so the crowd can get some nostalgia cheers, and she waves in thanks at the crowd. The three then make their way to the back.

• Loser cannot compete in OOWF for 56 days: Mac Flasher vs. Nuke
“I Get Wet” plays with Mac making his arrival. Mac takes in the cheers before making his way to the ring and waiting on Nuke. “Hate Breeders” breaks in with Nuke and his father, Adam Jennings, strolling to the ring. Nuke talks trash to ringside supporters of Mac before rolling into the ring and immediately engaging in a hockey fight with Mac as Mel Creech signaling for the bell. Mac gets the upper-hand, but Nuke goes low to cut off that advantage.

Russ: “Our assistant GM, Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox told me just before this match was to begin that the office has approved the backstage requests of both Mac and Nuke to make this a no-disqualification match.”
Razz: “Again, Mac letting his temper and emotions lead him right to what his opponent wants. No-DQ is definitely an advantage to Nuke.”

Nuke works over Mac with Adam verbally getting his shots in. Nuke gets a gutwrench suplex for 1 and then follows with a vertical neck breaker that gets 1 with Mac popping up and asking for Nuke to deliver a punch to his chin. Nuke obliges and Mac shakes it off after a flinch before yelling “AGAIN!” Nuke obeys with Mac flinching harder before shaking it off, giving a wanking motion and yelling “AGAIN!” Nuke rears back and steps into a punch that staggers Mac, but he shakes that off and yells “AGAIN!” Nuke doesn’t deliver the fourth punch as Mac blocks the punch and fires off a half-dozen of his own to back the rookie up with a bolo punch tangling Nuke in the ropes. Creech tries to untangle Nuke, but Mac steps in and stomps away before grabbing Nuke’s legs and pulling him before a kick to the groin evens the low-blow game. With Adam also helping, Nuke is finally untangled and rolls out to the floor and showing the effects of Mac’s assault. Mac runs the ropes and delivers a tope con hilo to both Nuke and Adam, spilling both men into the barricade as Mac kips up and stands tall before firing Nuke back into the ring to continue his attack. Mac fires Nuke into the corner and follows with a corner clothesline, repeating the act in the opposite corner before sending him back to the original corner, this time opting for Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood Trolley (think The Godfather’s “Ho Train”) with Nuke stepping out and falling flat on his face. Mac goes for a pin and gets 2 before Adam grabs an ankle and pulls Mac off of Nuke and out of the ring. Adam immediately cowers when Mac faces him, but that distraction is enough for Nuke to deliver a baseball slide to an unsuspecting Mac.

Russ: “If this is going to happen every time that Mac gets the upper-hand, he might need backup in a hurry.”
Razz: “Wait. What’s Bridget doing here?”

On Razz’s cue, Bridget O’Malley and “Mac” walk down the aisle, unknown to Mac, who just took a tour of all four ring posts and is currently getting choked out by a ringside cable. Bridget and “Mac” casually stroll to a corner hidden from Mac’s current view as Bridget is conversing with “Mac,” who has a taped-up torso after taking a spear earlier in the evening.

Razz: “Well, at least one Mac is looking good right now. Earlier tonight that Mac was stretchered out, and now he’s back at ringside.”
Russ: “Partner, that’s … Wait, Nuke’s got the real Mac back in the ring.”

With Mac busted open, Nuke takes his pocket chain and works the cut because it’s all legal here. Nuke then wraps the chain around his boot and delivers Give ‘Em the Boot to slump Mac in the corner. Mac tries to stand himself up but Nuke hits a second Give ‘Em the Boot to knock Mac silly. Mac, now very punch-drunk, steps away from the corner and into a DDT that gets 2.9. Nuke takes the chain from his boot and wraps it around his hand again, peppering Mac with chain-aided right hands before running up the ropes and hitting a top-rope elbow drop that gets 2.9. Nuke and Creech argue about the count speed as Mac staggers to his feet and pulls Nuke into sleep mode, taking the youngster down fast and leaning into the choke with Nuke fading fast. As Creech decides on going with the limp-arm or three-drop method, Adam rolls into the ring and stomps away at Mac, who releases the hold as a practically unconscious Nuke is shoved away. Mac confronts Adam and grabs him by the collar of his dress shirt, lifting him up as Adam is vehemently against the idea. Mac tosses Adam from the ring and follows him out while Bridget places “Mac” on top of Nuke’s lifeless body. As Creech is watching the action unfold on the outside, he misses the visual pin by “Mac,” despite a very loud count-along the gets to 12 before Nuke begins to stir. Nuke sees the standee on top of him and immediately tosses it aside. Seeing “Mac” disrespected draws Bridget into the ring to confront Nuke, who she has a bit of a history with. Nuke shoves Bridget, who giggles and clocks Nuke with a Red Death elbow, dropping him on top of “Mac.” With Mac still outside with Adam, who is hiding under the Spanish announce table, much to the chagrin of Raul and El Razzo, Creech is alerted to the goings-on in the ring as Bridget shrieks about Nuke hurting “Mac.” Creech, seeing Nuke pinning a life-like enough representation of “Mac,” gets in position and counts 3. The bell halts Mac’s assault on Adam as he puts eyes on his cardboard likeness for the second time, the first time with Bridget in tow.

Your winner, (pinfall, 15:22), Nuke!

Afterward, Mac tries to piece things together as Bridget rescues “Mac” from a groggy Nuke. Mac sees Bridget holding “Mac” as Creech explains that “Mac” was close enough to being a competitor to serve as a surrogate. Adam, emerges from his fort to run in and hug Nuke while Mac confronts Bridget, who is explaining that “Mac” had this match in hand and not actually Mac. While Mac is processing a lot of things, mainly his new four-show competition ban, he looks at “Mac” and sees his autograph on his face. With Mac adding things up, he shoves “Mac” out of frustration, prompting Bridget to snap and place him in a chickenwing sleeper until Sandra Fallon runs down to break up the hold. Bridget picks up “Mac” and pats him on the back while saying, “You’ll beat Nuke next time,” while Mac continues to process what is going on.

• OOWF World Tag-Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. Zed and Sean Franklin
Russ: There may be bigger matches with larger consequences tonight, but make no mistake, this Tag Team Championship match means the world to the four men entering it. The OOWF Tag Team Champions, the Woodsmen, have been the measuring stick in this division since OOWF’s revival. As goofy and preposterous and clueless as Dakota and Hunter may be, they are the only two men who have held the gold this year, and they don’t want that to end here, at Hell on Earth.

Then you have the challengers, Sean Franklin and Zed, and to call them an odd couple would be an understatement. These two started off trying to kill each other, Sean Franklin actively saying, repeatedly, he wanted to end Zed’s career. Instead, Rev. BRICK~! has paired them together, and now they are one victory away from giving Zed arguably the largest crowning achievement of his career, membership in the exclusive club of OOWF Grand Slam Champions. Can they win tonight? Yes. They were arguably one second away from doing it two weeks ago. Could the match also end with Zed and Sean trying to spill each other’s blood? It’s just as likely.

The lights dim, and “Good in Red” by The Midnight begins to play as Sean Franklin, Zed, and Rev. BRICK~! emerge on the entrance ramp. BRICK~! is shouting to the rafters of the OOWF Arena about the history that will be made tonight. Sean says something to Zed, and Zed nods his head in affirmation as he leads them down the ramp, wearing an incredibly intense “game face.”

As the challengers get to the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?” by Ylvis brings out The Woodsmen. They offer an extended cut of their familiar kazoo fanfare before heading to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way.

Mike Elevenbee introduces the two teams, and Sean can be seen jawing at The Woodsmen, who largely pay him no mind. Zed and Dakota start in the ring, and Zed quickly gains the upper hand with a flurry of strikes, but Dakota slows him down with a hip toss.

Dakota tags in Hunter, and he drops Zed again with a DDT. Hunter goes to literally kick Zed while he’s down, but Zed catches Hunter’s leg and takes him down with a Dragon Screw before taking a tag for Sean.

Sean takes complete control of the match, tossing Hunter around with reckless abandon and eventually spilling him out of the ring. Sean then climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives onto Hunter.

Razz: I didn’t realize Sean had the high-flying arsenal in him!
Russ: There’s plenty of incentive in this for him to become a Tag Team Champion, also, and he’s going to pull out all the stops.

Sean drags Hunter back into the ring and tries to shoot him into the challengers’ corner, but instead Hunter and Angelo Barros collide! Angelo falls down, and it appears Hunter might even be busted open.

Just as Sean goes to continue his beating of Hunter, he sees Rev. BRICK~! out of the corner of his eye, who slides brass knuckles into the ring. Sean nods his head, but before he can bend down to pick them up Zed storms into the ring, stepping on the knuckles before kicking them out of the ring.

Zed: *pointing at Sean* Not like this. We talked about this.
Sean: *pointing at BRICK~!* I didn’t do anything!
Zed: And you’re not going to. Not like this.

Rev. BRICK~! climbs into the ring with the intent of bringing the peace between his two clients, but instead Zed goes toe-to-toe with BRICK~!, and his voice grows louder. “You fucking know better!” Zed shouts, as BRICK~! tries to calm him down.

As those three are gathered in the corner, Hunter regains his bearings and tags in Dakota. Dakota charges into the ring, extending both of his arms to clothesline everything that moves in the opposing corner. Zed and BRICK~! go tumbling out of the ring, and Dakota turns his focus to Sean. He unloads with a series of right hands before drop-kicking Sean.

Dakota follows with a t-bone suplex and goes for a cover, but there’s still no Angelo to give a count, so he quickly stands back up and calls for the Pain Cabin. Hunter obliges and presents the structure, and Dakota drags Sean inside.

Russ: With no referee officiating, who knows what torture Sean is enduring inside that structure right now?!

Soon, we can hear screams of agony from Sean, who is eventually dragged back out of the Pain Cabin by Dakota. Angelo Barros finally comes to and re-enters the ring, just in time to see Sean clinging to the ropes for dear life with his left hand to escape an armbar from Dakota.

Angelo spots it, and Dakota relents and tags in Hunter. Hunter immediately goes to the top rope looking for a frog splash, but Sean is able to get his knees up to counter. That’s just enough of a window for him to crawl to the corner and tag in Zed before rolling completely out of the ring, favoring his arm.

Zed fires in with the Raise Up. Not letting up at all, Zed scoops up Hunter for the Moment of Zed before going for the cover, one, two, NO! Dakota is there to break it up.

Zed shakes his head in frustration, but takes a quick look in his corner to check on Sean, who is being tended to by medical personnel. Recognizing he might be alone for a bit, Zed shoots Hunter into the challengers’ corner, looking to cut the ring in half and avoid a handicap situation. Zed dropkicks Hunter against the turnbuckle, then steps back and dashes towards Hunter before running his knee directly into Dakota's already-bleeding head.

Sean waves away the medical personnel and climbs onto the ring apron. Zed spots him and calls for the tag, and Sean immediately steps into the ring and tosses Hunter across the ring with a German suplex. Sean has to collect himself afterwards, shaking the pain out of his arm, and that’s just enough of a window for Hunter to tag in Dakota.

Dakota immediately looks to clothesline Sean, but Sean ducks it, then spins around and lifts Dakota up and plants him into the mat with an Electric Chair Driver! Sean covers, one, two … Angelo stops the count! He points to Dakota’s arm, clinging onto the rope.

Hunter had already charged into the ring looking to break up the pinfall in a last-ditch attempt, and Sean unceremoniously sends him back where he came from. Sean curses under his breath, but then a devious look crosses his face, seeing Dakota still feeling the effects of the last maneuver and Hunter on his back at ringside bleeding heavily, and he claps his hands with excitement.

Sean drags Dakota into the middle of the ring, then turns to Zed, pointing at the top turnbuckle while tagging in his partner. Zed immediately goes to the top rope … THE ANSWER! Zed hooks the leg, one, two, THREE!

Your winners, (17:22; pinfall) and NEW OOWF Tag Team Champions, Sean Franklin and Zed!

As Angelo Barros calls for the bell and “Good in Red” begins to play again, Zed lets out an incredible, almost primal shout of joy, and before he can even stand up from the mat Sean Franklin has dogpiled onto him in the center of the ring. Rev. BRICK~! reaches underneath the ring and produces a confetti cannon, which he promptly fires off into the ring.

Russ: We have new Tag Team Champions! And we have the 16th member of the Grand Slam club!
Razz: Especially after the hiatus, you had to believe this moment would never come for Zed. At times, probably no one doubted it more than him, but it has happened!
Russ: It had been nearly seven years since Miranda Williams became the 15th Grand Slam Champion, right here in Asheville at Hell on Earth.

Getting to his feet with Sean still draped over him, Zed scurries away just long enough to shake Dakota and Hunter’s hands before Angelo enters the ring with the OOWF Tag Team Championship belts and gives them to the winners before raising their arms in victory. BRICK~! climbs into the ring, and the three embrace in the center of the ring. The Woodsmen give way and exit the ring, encouraging the fans to offer their praise as well, while BRICK~! heads back out of the ring to start passing out “Grand Slam” t-shirts to fans at ringside.

About this time, most of the residents of “The Compound,” plus Zed’s Mom and Mac Flasher, begin making their way to the ring to join the impromptu celebration. Beverly is first in the ring, and they immediately share a hug. “Can you believe it?” he asks. “Of course I can,” Beverly replies.

Kylie gives Zed a pat on the arm, explaining she can’t stay long with her match upcoming but offering her congratulations, and Zed points to his belt and encourages her to “get one of her own to match” tonight before she leaves.

Mac Flasher makes his way towards Zed, and his disappointment from earlier in the night is still evident on his face, but Zed brings him in for a hug and thanks him for getting the ball rolling on bringing back the OOWF. “This doesn’t happen without you,” Zed can be heard saying. Mac nods, doing his best to accept the gratitude in the moment.

Zed then shouts, “Where’s Josie?!” and she replies “Tio!” and runs into his arms. He picks her up. “Tio did it!” he says, as she buries her head in his shoulder. He tousles her hair a bit before sitting her back down.

Zed continues to hug or shake hands with the various people who have come to the ring, with Zed’s Mom waiting until everyone else has taken their turn before he waves her in for a hug. “I know I’m still not your favorite wrestler, but that didn’t suck, right?” he says with a laugh. Zed’s Mom also gives Sean a hug, which catches him by surprise, but he can’t help but smile a bit at this.

Zed turns to Sean one last time, taking a knee and bowing to him before raising his arm in celebration as the fans cheer loudly one more time. He then looks at the gathered crowd inside the ropes, shouts, “Let’s get the hell out of this ring!” and leads the way back up the ramp, carrying Josie on his shoulders.

• Three Stages of Hell Match: Jack Quinn vs. Pete Quick
Russ: It’s time for the Three Stages Of Hell match between Jack Quinn and Pete Quick. Razz and I are joined on commentary by former WWE and WCW world champion Nash.
Nash: Good to be here.
Russ: I’ve been doing this for A LOT of years, and I have never seen Jack Quinn, Moosehead Jack, whatever you want to call him pushed to his limit as hard as Pete Quick has done. At every turn, he has been right there. Dare I say, he might be the first person to get into Jack’s head?
Razz: I gotta admit, when Quick demanded an Onslaught Rules match, and a Taipei Death match, I thought he lost his mind. But now I can see, he wants to beat Jack at his own game. It’s a bold strategy.
Nash: It’s a smart move, he has Jack off balance. Jack is used to being the one behind the mind games, now the shoe is on the other foot. It reminds me of my obliteration of CM Punk, I was so deep in his mind, he couldn’t even speak!
Razz: Was that the time that Punk punked you by reading the text from his sister?
Nash: I don’t recall that ever happening.
Russ: The rules of this match are very simple, it’s basically a two out of three falls match, but with three different match types. The first is your typical onslaught rules match, EXCEPT, the ring is surrounded by a steel cage.
Razz: What makes this even more difficult is the cage. Any use of the cage will result in a referee warning, and each wrestler only has three. Can they resist the temptation to use the cage?
Nash: Why the hell do you have a cage if you can’t use it?
Russ: To keep others out
Nash: That never works!
Russ: Well, here, each wrestler has a second, for Quick, it’s Angie Delpetro, for Jack it’s Katie Bardoor. Maybe that will help keep others out.
Nash: Seems unlikely.
Russ: They’ve got the cage set up, let’s head to ringside!

”Kingmaker” plays and Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro come out to the top of the ramp, and the boos rain down from the crowd. Quick revels in it and laughs and mocks the fans as he heads to the ring. 

Russ: It seems Quick is brimming with confidence!
Nash: Why wouldn’t he be? He is younger, faster, stronger and smarter than Jack Quinn. For the first time in his career, Jack is in serious trouble.
Razz: Do you really think there is that big a gap between the two?
Nash: While Jack was sitting on his porch for three years doing nothing but yoga, Quick was perfecting his craft on the indie scene. Quick is young and hungry, Jack is just looking for another paycheck.
Russ: That seems a bit insulting

Quick steps into the cage, while Delpetro remains outside. He heads to a corner and takes a knee, and he and Angie confer when “Symphony of Destruction” plays and Jack Quinn and Katie Bardoor come out. The crowd ERUPTS. 

Russ: I never, EVER, in my life thought I would hear this kind of ovation for Jack Quinn.
Razz: Well, the people see what Quick has tried to pull, and they evidently do not approve
Nash: It just further proves the fans are idiots. Jack Quinn, Moosehead Jack, whatever, is one of the most bloodthirsty savages in wrestling history. Cheering him is like cheering for Abdullah the Butcher giving Hep C to Hannibal.
Russ: That is a BIT extreme, Nash

Jack and Katie get to the ring, they exchange fist bumps and Jack steps into the cage. The door is double chained and double padlocked, and the cage is extra big, thirty feet tall, so climbing it is a daunting challenge.

Jack and Quick meet face to face in the middle of the ring, the referee goes over the rules of the Onslaught match, three referee warnings, three rope breaks, there is no twenty count since it’s a cage, and the use of the cage will be a referee warning. The wrestlers move back to their corners where referee Davis Hightower gives each one a pat down checking for weapons. Satisfied that both are clean - after Quick DEMANDED that he check Jack’s boot - he moves to the middle of the ring and calls for the bell.

Jack and Quick meet in the middle of the ring, Jack offers the traditional handshake, Quick grabs his hand and the two pull one another toward each other and begin jawing. Without letting go, Quick hits a forearm to the side of the head, Jack counters with one of his own. Jack grabs a side head lock, Quick shoots him to the ropes and drops down on the rebound, Jack steps over him, on the rebound Quick tries a hip toss, Jack blocks it, slips free and sweeps Quick’s legs from beneath him dropping him to the mat as Quick gets to his knee, Jack hits the rope and drops him with a HIDDEN BLADE and gets a quick two count. Quick moves to the corner where Angie is to confer, but Jack flies in with a kick to the side of the head and another two count. Jack pulls Quick to the middle of the ring and tries for the ji-endo, but Quick reaches out and grabs the rope.

Pete Quick has used his first rope break

Jack pulls Quick to his feet and sends him into the corner, then charges in and hits Pete with a HALUVA KICK. Quick staggers out of the corner and falls to his knees, Jack bounds off the ropes and connects with a BUISAKU KNEE to the back of the head! Jack covers, but Quick kicks out at the last possible second.

Jack tries to pull Quick up again, but Quick hits a low blow right in front of the referee.

Pete Quick has used his first referee warning

Quick grabs Jack and slams him face first into the cage, sending Jack to the mat.

Pete Quick has used his second referee warning

Quick pulls Jack to his knees and drops several elbows across his forehead, then lifts him for a suplex, drops him stomach first on the top rope, then hits the ropes and connects with a boot to the side of Jack’s head that knocks him off the ropes. Quick takes a moment to taunt the crowd while Jack holds his head and seems to struggle a bit to get to one knee. Quick sees this and charges in and connects with another hard kick to Jack’s head.

Russ: I hope the referee keeps a close eye on this, Jack has a long history with concussions and Quick is clearly targeting his head because Quick is a disgusting human being
Nash: How is it disgusting? I would have done the same thing!
Razz: I don’t think that is the argument you think it is, Nash

Back in the ring Quick grabs Jack and slams him face first into the turnbuckle, then hits a release German suplex that drops Jack right on his head. Quick charges in and drops a leg across the back of Jack’s head and covers, but Jack kicks out at two.

Quick pulls Jack to a sitting position and traps one arm, then rains elbows down on Jack’s head. The referee is right there checking for a submission or Jack being unable to continue. Jack reaches up and rakes Quick’s eyes, but Quick refuses to break the hold! Quick keeps Jack grounded but the elbows miss their mark, which allows Jack to slide to the ropes and force a break.

Jack has used his first referee warning
Jack has used his first rope break

Quick reluctantly breaks the hold and pulls a groggy Jack to his feet and paint brushes him with slaps, which only serves to wake Jack up. Jack connects with a slap of his own, then a spinning back fist that ROCKS Quick and sends him staggering back to the corner. Jack charges in and hits a high knee to the jaw, then sets Quick on the top rope and hooks him for a superplex, but Quick slips free and hits a TOP ROPE ALABAMA SLAM! The back of Jack’s head SLAMS against the mat, and he is clearly seeing stars. Quick lands a flipping leg drop from the top, landing square on Jack’s head!

Russ: GOOD GAWD! THAT’S A 275 POUND MAN LANDING ON JACK’S HEAD!
Nash: He’s done!
Razz: Jack Quinn has no idea what planet he is on right now, this is hard to watch

Quick covers, but somehow Jack kicks out at two. Quick is LIVID! While he argues with the referee, Jack struggles to his feet and staggers to a corner and collapses. Quick sees this and charges in for a hip attack, but Jack falls to the mat at the last second. Quick slams into the turnbuckle and staggers out of the corner. Jack kicks him low and PLANTS him with a DDT, both men are DOWN!

Both men struggle to their feet, as Jack stands, Quick charges and Jack throws him face first into the cage and catches him on the rebound in a bridging German suplex for a two count.

Jack has used his second referee warning

Jack keeps the hold on and tries to run Quick into the corner for a CHAOS THEORY, but Quick grabs hold of the top rope and mule kicks Jack right in the jewels.

Pete Quick has used his third and final referee warning

Quick turns and grabs Jack and hits a TIGER DRIVER, rolls Jack up, one…..two…..THREE!

The crowd is stunned into silence.

WINNER of the first match in 36:33 - Pete Quick

Russ: I cannot believe what I’ve just seen! He defeated Jack in the middle of the ring, CLEAN!
Razz: I cannot imagine that this is how Jack thought things would go
Nash: It’s not surprising. There is nothing worse than a past-their-prime holding on for another moment of glory.
Razz: You really have no comprehension of who you are, do you?
Nash: What?
Russ: Never mind that. We have five minutes between matches for the wrestlers to get a breather. While they take five, crews are preparing for our second match, which is a weapons cage match. This one promises to be much more violent than the first.

While the plunder is brought into the ring, Jack sits in one corner and Katie comes in with water and a cold rag, much like a boxing match. Jack does not look good. His eyes are a little glassy and Katie has to keep repeating her instructions. Across the ring, Quick and Delpetro both look extremely satisfied. We hear Delpetro say “you’ve got him, he cannot beat you.” and Quick smiles and nods.

Three Stages of Hell - Match Two: Weapons Match

The plunder is in the ring, the referee tells the seconds it’s time to leave. Katie gives Jack a little more water then leaves. As the referee tells Angie it’s time to go, she has Quick’s hand in his, as the referee leaves, it appears she slips something into the glove.

Russ: DID YOU SEE THAT?
Nash: What? She was massaging Quick’s hand

The bell rings and we are UNDERWAY! Jack grabs a can of plunder and throws it at Quick who deflects it, but all the contents spill out. Jack grabs the can and lifts it above his head to hit Quick, when Quick lashes out with a left hook from the gloved hand that knocks Jack to the mat where he does not move.

Russ: NOT LIKE THIS!
Razz: I think Jack is unconscious!

Outside the ring, Katie is screaming for Jack to get up, Jack blinks his eyes helplessly, but cannot seem to get his bearings. Quick grabs a chair and slides it under Jack’s head, then takes another and hits a CON-CHAIR-TO!

Nash: It’s over!

Jack lies motionless on the mat while Quick stands over him and gloats, taunting the crowd. He holds up one finger in a “hold on, watch this" kinda way then pulls an unconscious Jack up and lifts him for a slam, and falls backward on the mat with Jack on top of him! The referee looks confused, Quick yells at him and he falls to the mat, one……two…..three.

WINNER of match 2 in 3:14 - Jack Quinn

Pete Quick walks back to his corner and leisurely sits and sips his water while Katie has to practically drag Jack to the corner and sit him on the stool. Katie breaks out the smelling salts which wakes Jack up a bit. The referee is in to check on whether Jack can continue or not, Katie and Jack both say he can. In the other corner, Quick is relaxing, seemingly without a care in the world.

RUSS: What the HELL just happened there?
Razz: Quick could have won this in two falls…….why would he WANT the third fall?
Nash: Because he wants to prove that he is absolutely better than Jack Quinn, and from what I’ve seen so far, he absolutely is.
Russ: That is a bold gamble to take, I know I would NOT want to face Jack Quinn in a Taipei Death Match.
Russ: This is one of the most barbaric matches in OOWF history. The ring is surrounded by a cage made of barbed wire, the plunder will remain, anything goes. Literally anything. As if that is not enough, the wrestlers will have their hands wrapped, then dipped in glue and then dipped in broken glass. And for good measure, the only way to win is to prevent your opponent from answering a ten count. Folks, this is legalized barbarism.

While the workers are taking down the traditional steel cage and replacing it with a barbed wire cage, two other officials get into the ring and go to the corners where they wrap the wrestlers fists in tape, then dunk them in glue, before finally pushing their fists into buckets of broken glass.

Quick looks SUPREMELY confident while Jack still seems to be struggling to get his bearings. The time is up, the referee orders both seconds to the outside and calls for the bell

Three Stages of Hell - Match Three: Taipei Death Match

When the bell rings, Quick is quickly to his feet. He moves to the middle of the ring and puts his fists up in a boxing pose and challenges Jack. Jack uses the top rope to pull himself to his feet and he meets Quick in the middle of the ring. Quick peppers Jack with several shots to the face, opening small cuts each time he connects. Jack takes a couple of wild swings but misses, Quick catches him with a punch to the ribs that opens a cut on Jack’s side, then grabs him by the hair and LAUNCHES Jack into the barbed wire cage! Jack hits the cage and his foot immediately gets tangled and he is left hanging upside down, each move tearing a new cut in his flesh. Quick grabs a kendo stick from the plunder and wears Jack out, before grabbing him and hitting a CROSSROADS off the cage! Jack slams into the mat, and Quick stands over him while the ref starts the count.

He gets to five when Jack gets to one knee. Quick charges, but Jack stops him cold with a punch to the nuts. JAck then pulls Quick to the wire and rakes his face across the barbs, drawing copious amounts of blood. Quick frees himself by going to the eyes, then grabs Jack and hits a back drop driver right onto a can of plunder, slamming the back of Jack’s head, once again, into the metal.

Quick picks up the can and repeatedly slams it down on Jack, then picks up a chair and wraps some barbed wire around it and opens it. He whips Jack to the ropes and hits a drop toe hold that sends Jack face first into the chair, wrapping it, and the wire around Jack’s head. Undaunted, Quick grabs him from behind and hits a release German suplex.

Russ: I have never seen Jack Quinn manhandled like this!
Razz: I think that shot from the loaded glove and the chairs has him seeing double!
Nash: Or, Quick is just better

As Jack pulls the chair and wire off his head, Quick stands over him and smirks, kicking Jack in the face every time he tries to get up. Quick pulls him up and sends him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a spinebuster. Quick orders the referee to count, while he does that, Quick turns to Delpetro and nods. Angie goes under the ring and sets up a table on the outside.

Inside, Jack gets to one knee again, this time at eight. Quick charges in and hits a knee to the face, then lifts Jack for a powerbomb and heads toward the cage!

Russ: HE’S GOING TO THROW HIM THROUGH THE CAGE!

Before he can, Jack slips free and lands on his feet behind Quick, Quick hits the ropes and on the rebound both crack skulls and fall to the mat. The referee starts a count when suddenly the crowd pops BIG.

Russ: What the hell ... it’s FIREWOMAN!
Razz: Is she coming to stop the match?
Nash: She’s coming to help her brother

As Fire walks around the ring, she gives Angie an icy stare, almost daring her to do something. She gets to Katie, and she just glares at Jack. A horribly bloodied Jack drags himself to the corner and the two of them lock eyes. An entirely different look comes over Jack’s face. The pain washes away, Jack wipes the blood from his forehead and looks at it, and begins to laugh, he looks over his shoulder and sees Quick getting to his feet and an absolute look of darkness crosses his face.

Razz: Is this what I think it is?
Russ: Sweet merciful Jesus, it’s Moosehead Jack
Nash: Aw hell

Moose gets to his feet in the corner, Quick charges in and tries a clothesline, but Moose gets a boot up and sends him staggering toward a board with barbed wire stapled to it. Moose gets on the middle turnbuckle and leaps and DRIVES Quick into the board with a BULLDOG! Quick howls in pain, but Moose is not satisfied. Moose drops to his knees and peppers Quick with punches to the face until Quick is a bloody mess.

Moose gets up and goes over to one of the two remaining cans of plunder and flips one over, and grabs a leather strap. Quick is desperately trying to free himself from the board, but he cannot in time and Moose whips the ever loving shit out of him. Finally Moose pulls him up, leaving large gashes in his back Moose slams Quick over the head with a trash can, then sets him up and hits a PILEDRIVER on a chair! Moose steps away and the referee starts his count, but Quick gets up at seven.

Moose charges, but Quick backdrops him onto a ladder. Quick sets the ladder up and starts to climb. Moose gets to his feet and shoves the ladder, crotching Quick on the top rope. Moose goes to the last can o’plunder and looks in, then stops ... he reaches in, and slowly pulls out Happy Deth Bat. He looks at it as the crowd loses their damn minds. Moose looks over at Quick, who is sitting on the top rope in pain, Moose charges and swings and nails Quick right across the chest! It sends Quick backward between the barbed wire and the ropes. Jack pulls him up onto the ropes and wraps the wires around Quick’s arms essentially crucifying him!

Quick howls in pain, Moose looks at the ladder and HDB. He climbs the ladder with HDB and leaps and he and HDB slam into Quick, the cage gives away, and both men crash through the table and SLAM into the floor, still completely tangled in barbed wire and wood.

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

The referee starts a count, perhaps a quick one because both men may be dead. They are both using the guardrail to try and pull themselves up, as Quick is about to stand, Moose reaches down, grabs a scalpel from his boot and JAMS it in Quick’s arm! Quick lets go of the guardrail to grab his hand and falls to the floor, Moose manages to stand for just a second before collapsing to the floor!

WINNER in 1:14:31 - Jack Quinn

After the match ringside is flooded with officials. Medics quickly show up to stop the bleeding and get them both loaded onto gurneys. Quick initially fights the help, but eventually collapses and has to be helped, Jack doesn’t fight it a bit as Katie and Fire help get him on a stretcher. Both men are taken to the back, and on to a local medical facility.

Nash: Well. That was a thing.
Russ: I will never understand why these men put themselves through this. For what?
Razz: Russ……until you’re actually in the ring as a competitor, I could explain it until I die, and you won’t understand it.

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Alexander Darling vs. Kylie Mignolio vs. Lindsay McAllister
The parade of challengers come out to their respective songs as Lindsay bounds to the ring to “Just a Girl,” Kylie jogs out to “Jaded,” and Alexander slowly and broodingly walks out to “King of the World.” With all three challengers in the corners, “Radioactive” plays out World Champion Lexie Darling with a loud ovation greeting her. Lexie salutes the fans before holding the championship over her head. Davis Hightower takes the title from Lexie and shows it to all four combatants with Lindsay and Kylie nodding, and Alexander grabbing Hightower’s hands to view his reflection in the face plate just a bit longer. Hightower pulls the title away from Alexander and calls for the bell as Kylie, Lindsay and Lexie circle each other while Alexander sulks on his corner perch.

Russ: “This is one fall to a finish, which means that we could have a new champion tonight and Lexie Darling doesn’t have to be pinned or submitted. You have a five-time world champ in this and two wrestlers eager to hold that title for the first time, they’re facing a champion who came out of the hiatus and outlasted a 16-wrester field to be the first OOWF champion in almost four years.”
Razz: “And these matches move so fast that the champion may not even be aware of a finish until it happens. I wouldn’t want to be Lexie!”

The three women brawl to start with Kylie and Lindsay eventually breaking off into their own fight as Lexie glares at Alexander atop the ropes. Alexander motions for those three to continue what they’re doing without involving him. Kylie hops onto the ropes and slaps Alexander, getting his attention and coaxing him down as Lindsay pulls Kylie away before a dropkick can greet Alexander. Kylie shoves Lindsay and then turns around into a swinging right hand from Alexander that she ducks before grabbing his arm and dropping down with her knees in his ribcage. Lindsay again pulls Kylie off of Alexander as Lexie tries to steal a pin and gets 1 before Alexander tosses her off.

Kylie and Lindsay start to brawl and spill out of the ring while Alexander bulls through Lexie with a shoulder tackle before a Northern Lights suplex gets him 2. Lexie rolls out of the ring, right into the Lindsay-Kylie brawl. Alexander sees all three opponents and considers a dive before pulling back and rudely gesturing to the fans who bought his tease.

Kylie emerges from the fracas outside and is first back into the ring to confront Alexander, giving fans the showdown that they wanted all along. Alexander blocks a handspring elbow with a backdrop, allowing Lindsay to send Kylie to the outside and stares down Alexander, taking her eyes off of Kylie, who reenters with a springboard crossbody that takes both Lindsay and Alexander down. Kylie’s double-pin attempt is easily escaped at 1 when Lindsay slides out from underneath as Alexander presses Kylie with no resistance. Lexie rolls into the ring and hits slingblades on everyone, collecting near-falls on everyone. Alexander returns to his perch, but has Kylie follow him as she stands him up with the two battling over a superplex. While this is ongoing, Lindsay gets under Kylie and Lexie underneath Alexander with the two women hitting stereo powerbombs to down Alexander and Kylie, while also taking the fight out of Lexie and Lindsay for a moment. Kylie drapes an arm over Alexander and gets 2 with Lexie pulling Kylie off at the last second. Kylie unloads on Lindsay but gets booted from her blindspot by Lexie, who is scooped up in a German suplex by Alexander that gets 2. Alexander then turns his focus to Kylie and her previously targeted knee and begins working on it as if Kylie owes him money, dragging her under the ropes in the corner and posting her leg and teasing a ring-post figure-four until “Catch Me if You Can” by Babymetal plays out Josie, who stands atop the ramp and glares at Alexander who sees the expression on the OOWFTron and thinks better of the career-altering maneuver. While this happens, Lindsay gets an inside cradle on Lexie and gets 2 before Lexie shifts her weight and gets 2. This continues for a series of near-falls until Alexander pulls Hightower from the ring.

Alexander gets shoved away by Hightower, who gets back into the ring just in time to catch Lindsay drill Kylie and then Lexie with dropkicks. Lindsay then pulls Lexie to the corner and climbs the ropes before hitting a shooting-star press that gets 2 until Kylie breaks up the pin by hitting a 450 on Lindsay’s back with Lexie underneath. Kylie pulls Lindsay off and tries to pin Lexie getting 2.9 before Alexander breaks up the pin with a leg drop across Kylie’s neck. Lindsay shoves Alexander away and picks Kylie up for an Aussie Attack, only to have Lexie pull Kylie down and schoolboy Lindsay to get 2.9 before Alexander breaks up the fall. All four wrestlers retreat to their corners as the crowd voices their approval.

Alexander tries to attack Kylie, but is caught in a hurricanrana that spills him into the ropes. Kylie, Lindsay and Lexie represent their respective area codes with swinging leg strikes. Alexander falls back as all three women fight over who will get the pin, a move that almost victimizes Lindsay as she falls prey to a tights-aided roll-up that is broken up by Lexie. Kylie grabs Alexander and signals for a DDT, connecting on it, but cannot cover as Lexie pulls her away and tries to steal the cover herself. That split-second gives Alexander a shot at a small package that gets 2 until Kylie rolls the pinning combo onto Alexander’s shoulders with Lexie getting 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 18:42) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!

Alexander gets up and is apoplectic with Lexie taking her championship from Hightower. Kylie smiles and winks at Alexander with the champion receiving congratulations from Lindsay as the feed cuts out.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Sept. 9, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• Jack Quinn chooses the stipulations for his match against Pete Quick at Hell on Earth
Symphony of Destruction plays and Jack Quinn comes out to the top of the ramp wearing a long white trench coat, flanked by the rest of Shokan Dojo, Katie Bardoor and PORK. The trio make their way to the ring and the crowd pops big for them. Katie and PORK take their places in the corners, one watching the crowd, one watching the ramp. Jack stands in the middle of the ring looking around, most of the crowd cheers for him, there are still a few boos and a few JUSTICE FOR JUSTIN & ELLIE MAY signs, but the majority cheer>

Jack: I still cannot get used to that. <crowd cheers more> But that's not why we're here, is it? No, it seems like just recently, Shokan Dojo, along with those masters of pugilistic preparedness and terrifying tap out tents, the WOODSMEN *cheap pop* won a match which allows me, Jack Quinn to decide on the stipulation on the match I FINALLY get to have against Pete Quick at Hell on Earth. *another pop*

So, Quick, I thought about it and thought about it, and I decided ... well, one match was just not enough. And then I thought ... well, I am going to have to keep that coward from running away ... AGAIN ... so it better be in a cage. And then I thought, well ... I am going to want to take my time with this, savor every moment, so we can't have a time limit on this affair now can we?

So here's what I decided.......

*Jack walks around the ring for a moment building suspense*

... Three Stages of Hell Cage Match ... No time limit.

*The crowd erupts* 

The first match will be ...

"Kingmaker" plays and Pete Quick comes out, along with the Royal Guard and Angie Delpetro. Katie and PORK bail and come back with a chairs to even out the numbers game. They step into the ring, and Pete walks right up to Jack and stares him in the eyes. 

PQ: I don't think so Jackie.

*he hands the mic to Angie*

AD: As Mr. Quick's legal counsel, I hate to inform you that your reward for winning the match was to pick the stipulation of the match - singular - in the event of a match containing more than one stipulation, in this case, your idea of a Three Stages of Hell match where all three matches will have chosen stipulations, the opposing party has to agree to, and have equal representation in the choices of, said stipulations in said match.

PQ: In other words, if you want your match I get to pick the stipulations

JQ: You? I don't think so Quick. And, really, there's an easy way to fix this, isn't there? Let's have the returning GM the Firewoman come out and see what she thinks

"Flame On" plays and Fire comes out to the top of the ramp to a standing ovation and a thunderous "WELCOME BACK" chant. She does her best to suppress a smile, then puts on her "all business" face and heads to the ring.

PQ: *in a grating annoying fake Irish accent* Oh boyos, will ya look! It it ain't Clan Quinn here to give me a fair shot! *serious voice* This is a joke, and you both know it. *turning to the crowd* Do you see this? Do you see what the Quinn's are trying to do AGAIN? They are the most pathe ... 

JQ: Ok Quick, you pick first.

PQ: What?

JQ: Is that good with you, GM the Firewoman?

*Fire nods*

JQ: There. If it shuts you up and stops another one of your idiotic rants, you pick first.

*a big grin spreads across his face and he starts to laugh* 

PQ: Jackie boy, I can play you like a fiddle. I knew all I had to do was annoy you just a little, and you would cave. You're so desperate to get to me, I've made you jump through hoops for MONTHS. I've watched as weak after weak each beating got worse and worse and worse. Look at you Jackie, you're done. You have more bandages than a drug store, you get around worse than Terry Funk ... even now *massive boos*. Jackie, I've already won. And now......I am going to end you by beating you at your own game. See ... I don't care what the second match is, we know this is going three, by whatever means necessary, you will steal the second match, be it crooked referee, some sort of cheating, or *looking at Fire* her Highnesses Royal decree, we all know this is going three. So do what you want with match two. I am going to end you at your own game.

Match one, I am going to prove I am a better wrestler than you. Onslaught rules. I will out wrestle you, and I will pin you clean, right in the middle of that ring.

Match three ... Taipei Death Match

Russ: Good GAWD!
Razz: What the hell is Quick thinking? Jack has never lost a Taipei Death match, has he?

*the crowd buzzes for this*

See Jackie ... by then, I will know for sure that Jack Quinn is a fraud. When I beat you in an onslaught rules match, there goes the myth that Jack Quinn can make it as a wrestler. Everyone will see you exposed for the fraud you truly are. And then, for the final match, you'll have no choice. I'll get Moosehead Jack. Jack Quinn cannot win a Taipei Death Match, only Moosehead Jack can, and when I destroy him, when I destroy you, I destroy the myth of Moosehead Jack.

*Quick's snarl quickly turns to a satisfied smirk as Jack stares him in the eyes*

JQ: Ok Quick. Second match is a strap match. Not one of those stupid "touch all four corners" matches, but rather just you and I tied together with a nice, thick strap of leather.

PQ: Do you think I am afraid of you, Jackie?

JQ: *looking at him hard* No Quick, I don't. And it's not because I think you're fearless, not by any means. You've shown you're a coward already. I don't think you're afraid of me, because you're too dumb to see what you've done.

PQ: Oh really? And just what is that?

JQ: Back when this started, when I disappeared for a few days.....

PQ: When you cowardly ran away after trying to kill Justin and Ellie May

JQ: While I was gone, I came to a realization, a realization that was confirmed by my sister when she woke up

PQ: Ohh, more Irish shit!

*Jack slaps the mic out of Quick's hand and backs him into the corner. PORK and Katie step between them, the Royal Guard and Angie*

JQ: Listen to me Quick, and listen good. What I realized is that I CREATED Moosehead Jack. I CONTROL Moosehead Jack. I DECIDE when it's time for Jack to come out. I am not Moosehead Jack, but Moosehead Jack is part of who I am. For all those years Moose controlled ME and it was absolute chaos and carnage, unfocused rage and destruction, attack on any slight, real or imagined, and that anger THAT RAGE made me the most feared man in professional wrestling history!

*Jack pauses for a moment, his eyes burning with rage. Quick doesn't look scared, but rather deeply concerned*

Now, I want you to think Quick, think real hard about what a focused Moosehead Jack could do. A Moosehead Jack that is there for one reason and one reason only ... to destroy you by any means necessary. When you close your eyes Quick, I'll be there. I'll be around every corner, in every dark space, every bump in the night will be Moosehead Jack. And there's not a thing in the world you can do to stop me. I want you to think about that Quick.

*Jack steps back a few steps, but never takes his eyes off of Quick*

I am Jack Quinn
I am the creator *points to Shokan Dojo*
I am the destroyer
I am redemption
*Jack reaches into his coat and pulls out a brand new Happy Deth Bat*
I am your destruction

*Jack takes a swing at Quick, but he manages to bail just in time and HDB tears the turnbuckle pad where Quick's head had been just moments before. Katie and PORK move on the Guard and Angie, and they bail out and make a hasty retreat. Jack stands with PORK and Katie, gives a hug to Fire, who was safely on the outside of the ring, and Shokan Dojo leaves as we fade to black*

• Jeff Mangyuniku and Rory Thomas vs. The One-Notes
Cold open as Russ and Razz welcome viewers to this episode as Jeff and Harper start for their respective teams. Jeff outclasses Harper in a mat-wrestling sequence before Carrie tags herself in to try her hand at Jeff, only to get overpowered in short order. Jeff and Rory work fast tags to isolate Carrie, with Rory ending the double-team flurry with a monkey flip that sends Carrie two-thirds of the way across the ring. Carrie tags in Harper, who drills Rory with a lariat and immediately hits the chin lock while jawing with ringside fans. With Rory trying to shake the cobwebs out, Harper releases the chin lock and starts clubbing him down with elbows and forearms before a belly-to-belly suplex gets 2. Jeff pounds the the top turnbuckle in his corner to get the crowd behind Rory, who tries crawling under Harper’s legs before she just sits on his back and pulls him into a half-crab submission. Rory is able to pull himself within an arm’s reach of his corner before Harper stands up and rags Rory back to the middle of the ring and then closer to the One-Notes’ corner where Carrie offers assistance by grabbing Harper’s free arm as official Mel Creech is checking on a submission from Rory. Jeff’s loud protests go unheard by Creech, prompting the youngster to charge across the ring and clothesline Harper from behind, causing her to break the hold and barrel into Carrie.

With Creech sending Jeff back to his corner, a woozy Carrie hands some kind of object to Harper, who places it on her right hand. With Rory getting to a vertical base, Harper slugs Rory, flattening him with the right cross. Harper then grabs the knocked-out Rory by his legs and starts a modified giant swing, swinging Rory back and forth. Creech sees an unresponsive Rory and calls for the bell as Jeff is just a second too late.

Razz: “Harper calls that the Metronome, and it got The One-Notes a big win, I think their first win!”

Your winners (referee stoppage, 5:40), The One-Notes!

Afterward, Harper drops Rory in a heap, almost shocked that her team just won while Carrie jumps in her arms. Jeff checks on a now-seated and disoriented Rory, patting him on the back before leaving the ring with a very disappointed expression. The One-Notes serenade Jeff with “The Porpoise Song,” for some reason, albeit very poorly as most fans start covering their ears.

•  Sandra Fallon vs. Nuke, with Annie Horvath
“Hate Breeders” bellows through the arena, with Nuke and Annie walking out together, but seemingly on different pages. Annie glad-hands a young fan holding a sign in support of her while Nuke vehemently disapproves, taking the sign and ripping it up in front of the fan. Annie demands an explanation from Nuke while simultaneously apologizing to the distraught young girl as “Surf Wax America” plays out Sandra, who hugs the crying fan on her way to the ring. Sandra gets to the ring and takes off her shell necklace, turning around to hang it on the ring post, nearly getting blindsided by Nuke before sidestepping the attack. Sandra then hits a trio of right hands, with an uppercut sending Nuke to the canvas as Davis Hightower restores order and then calls for the bell. Nuke tries to stomp at Sandra’s feet, but she’s able to avoid the attack before hopping up and delivering a leaping forearm smash across Nuke’s jaw. Nuke rolls out of the ring with Annie checking on him, though Nuke doesn’t appear to want much to do with Annie’s concern.

Russ: “It appears that the foundation between these two lovebirds is showing some serious fractures.”
Razz: “I blame Mac. If Mac would ever make a decision, then …”
Russ: “I’m talking about Nuke and Annie.”
Razz: “Oh. Well, Annie is clearly the one at fault for all that is wrong between these two. She’s trying to make Nuke something he’s not.”
Russ: “Look partner, by dressing like he’s Johnny Rotten, that little rich boy is already something he’s not.”

Nuke rolls back inside and jabs Sandra in the throat, getting the upper-hand. Nuke follows with a trio of running knee lifts and a body slam that gets 1 as Sandra pops up, only to get a knee to the stomach and an elbow to the chin. Nuke then hits a chinlock, freely using the ropes and Sandra’s hair to add leverage and keep her in his grip, despite Annie’s verbal protests to not fight as dirty. Nuke shouts toward Annie, who then points out to Hightower that Nuke’s boots are on the ropes. Hightower calls for Nuke to break the hold, which he does at 4 before turning toward Annie, now on the apron, with an incensed expression. Nuke reaches into his pocket to pull out his trusty chain, which Annie tries to grab from him. Nuke eventually wins the tug-of-war, but yanks himself back into a kick to the gut by Sandra, who manages to lift the heavier Nuke and spin him in a Maliblu Thunder Bomb that gets 3 from Hightower.

Your winner (pinfall, 7:49), Sandra Fallon!

Afterward, Nuke with the chain around his fist, drills Sandra, dropping her where she stood. Nuke then wraps the chain around his forehead, looking to deliver a standing head butt to a staggered Sandra when Annie steps in front, pleading with Nuke to stop with the shortcuts. Nuke grabs Annie by her blue hair and throws her over the top rope, drawing immediate and nuclear heat just as Mac Flasher rushes to the ring. Mac begins attacking Nuke with three right hand punches and a left-handed uppercut as Sandra, still a bit woozy, checks on Annie, who is crying more from hurt feelings than physical pain. Mac chases Nuke off then calls for a microphone.

Mac: “Nuke. It’s quite simple. I’m getting tired of you. I’m getting tired of dealing with you. I am tired of your fucking face. I want you gone from this company as long as OOWF will allow it. Hell on Earth. You and I. Loser leaves OOWF for four shows. For once, show that you have a backbone and face me one on one on September 23, without any of these bullshit weapons of yours, or live by the things that will give you an extended vacation starting in two weeks.”

Mac spikes the microphone and joins Sandra in helping Annie to her feet, though the young punk-rocker is unsure of the sudden assistance from very recent enemies. Sandra assures Annie that there is nothing to worry about all while Nuke looks on from atop the entrance ramp with a scowl as he is joined by his father, Adam Jennings.

• Bridget O’Malley vs. Ona Jones
With Ona already in the ring, “Crown on the Ground” plays out Bridget, who hardly acknowledges the crowd reaction as she rolls into the ring and immediately downs Ona with a spinning backfist before official Ben Coleman shrugs and calls for the bell. Bridget gets a mount on Ona and peppers her with punches and forearms with Ona barely able to shield herself, taking a particularly brutal shot on the chin, splitting it open.

Russ: “Razz, I think we’re seeing some frustrations from Bridget’s out-of-ring life getting worked out on poor Ona.”
Razz: “Ona is a tough cookie, but when Bridget gets THIS kind of fire in her eye, it’s hard to stop her from doing what she wants in that squared circle.”

Ona finally rakes Bridget’s eyes to get herself a moment to escape and catch her breath. It’s about the only separation she gains as Bridget grabs her by the hair before snapping off Bridget to Nowhere that gets 2 as Ona barely wiggles out of the bridging pin attempt. As Ona backs off, Bridget simply rolls herself into Ona’s knee, buckling it and causing the rookie to wail in pain. Coleman admonishes Bridget for the cut block with Bridget paying no mind to the official as she grabs Ona’s leg and places it over her neck before lifting Ona into a stretch muffler that gains an instant submission.

Your winner (submission, 3:56), Bridget O’Malley!

Afterward, Coleman tries to get Bridget to release the hold, but she refuses as a popping sound followed by a shriek from Ona can be heard. Bridget drops Ona in a heap and walks away with Ona clutching at her knee in what appears to be excruciating pain as OOWF Medical personnel rush past an expressionless Bridget on their way to the ring to check on the rookie.

Russ: “Bridget O’Malley might have ended a career tonight! She may have crippled this poor rookie.”
Razz: “Bridget cracks knees and she don’t care! I like this side of her!”

• Mac Flasher vs. Pete Quick vs. Beverly Cambridge
“I Get Wet” plays out Mac, who steps out and coolly walks toward the ring before “Cut the Cord” interrupts to note the arrival of Beverly, who is hobbling a bit but looks ready to go all the same. Mac and Beverly stand in the ring as “Kingmaker” plays, turning the mostly positive crowd reactions into an incredibly negative response for Pete, who doesn’t emerge right away. The song plays for about two minutes before the announce table chimes in.

Russ: “Fans, we’ve been informed that there was an altercation backstage. Our camera crews are on their way to the scene and we’ll show you what there is to be seen as soon as they arrive.”

The feed cuts to the back with Pete face-down on the concrete floor, with blood presumably pooling from his head and torso as Angie Delpetro screams for help. Beside Pete, what appears to be the broken handle of a black baseball bat can be shown, but the barrel is nowhere to be found in the shot. The feed then returns to ringside.

Razz: “That animal! Jack Quinn finally gets Pete Quick in a match that he wants, and he can’t resist attacking him before a match that had nothing to do with Quinn or anyone with Shokan Dojo.”
Russ: “Now wait just a minute. We don’t know that it was Jack Quinn. Pete Quick has made a lot of enemies in a short period of time in OOWF.”
Razz: “Buddy! There’s a piece of a broken baseball bat next to Pete Quick! That’s the calling card of one wrestler in this company. One who just unveiled a new bat in his arsenal tonight!”

With Mac, Beverly and Misato Misawa having seen the carnage on the OOWFTron, Misawa listens to a message in his earpiece before pointing at the two combatants in the ring and signaling that this is a singles match with two competitors before waving to the timekeeper’s table. The bell rings as Mac and Beverly bump fists before Mac goes in for a tie-up that Beverly ducks. Mac tries again from a different angle and Beverly ducks. Mac nods and smiles as Beverly does the same. Mac teases a test of strength, but Beverly declines with a wry smile.

Russ: “You’re watching two veterans, two friends, who know each other very well. The first mistake between these two might be the difference in who goes to pay window for the bigger paycheck.”
Razz: “These two do-gooders probably wouldn’t even take advantage of a mistake, in the name of sportsmanship or some other garbage.”

Beverly hits the ropes with Mac getting low and sending her into a back bodydrop, which Beverly tries to counter by landing on her feet, but she immediately falls in a heap and clutches at her ankle.

Russ: “Oh no. That’s the same ankle that she dinged up against Alexander Darling two weeks ago.”
Razz: “Well, here’s Mac’s chance to show that he’s not a sucker! Take advantage!”

Beverly rips her boot off to reveal and grab the heavily taped ankle as Mac gets into a catcher’s squat to check on her. With Beverly in obvious pain, Mac takes her hand to offer a bit of support only to get snared into a small package that gets a quick, but fair, 3, from Misawa.

Your winner (pinfall, 4:36), Beverly Cambridge!

Afterward, Mac can only smile as Beverly smiles and shrugs before getting to her feet with a slight limp. Mac hands Beverly her boot while raising her hand just as Nuke rushes in and waylays Mac from behind with a chain-loaded fist. Nuke rains punches on a downed Mac as Adam Jennings occupies Beverly by trapping her in a corner. Nuke has Mac almost motionless after roughly a dozen chain-aided punches before pulling a microphone from his pocket.

Nuke: “I will gladly end you at Hell on Earth. If you’re lucky, four shows will be all you miss.”

Nuke throws the microphone at Mac’s face with Beverly finally breaking free enough to send Nuke away while Sandra rushes down to check on and protect Mac from further attacks.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship match: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville (c) vs. Angie Delpetro
Angie, presumably still with the injured Pete Quick, never shows up, giving Awesome Bill a forfeit victory.

Your winner (count out, :10), and STILL OOWF Intercontinental Champion, Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!

Afterward, Awesome Bill walks toward the back with his championship, looking around for some kind of ensuing chicaneries, but has a totally uneventful exit from the ringside area.

• OOWF Tag Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. Zed and Sean Franklin
"Good in Red" by The Midnight brings out the challengers, Zed and Sean Franklin, accompanied by the "esteemed" Rev. BRICK~!. After they get to the ring, "What Does The Fox Say" begins to play as the OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Woodsmen, make their way to the ring. As they are introduced by Mike Elevenbee in the ring, they offer their kazoo fanfare, and Zed rolls his eyes and tests the ropes awaiting one of the Woodsmen to face him in the ring.

Zed comes out of the gates firing, dropping Dakota with a sling blade before hitting the ropes and drop kicking Dakota for good measure. He takes the early measure of Dakota, but Dakota slows down Zed with a snapmare and tags in Hunter.

Hunter lays into Zed with some knife-edge chops, but backs Zed into the challengers’ corner, which earns a hearty and very audible “Fuck this!” from Zed (and an admonishment from Rev. BRICK~!) before tagging in Sean. Hunter takes a step back, which is all Sean needs to latch in Hunter for a pumphandle slam. Sean then shows off his strength with a deadlift bridging German suplex, but Hunter kicks out at two.

Hunter rolls away and tags in Dakota, who starts to climb in the ring, then stops in his tracks, pulls out his kazoo, and gives a fanfare while pointing at the entrance ramp and standing at attention. Confused, Sean looks to see who could have prompted this reaction from Dakota, but it was all a trick. Sean turns back around and takes an elbow to the face before Dakota connects on a Tilt-A-Whirl DDT.

Dakota and Hunter share a smile as Sean tags in Zed. Zed is hardly taking the ruse to his teammate smiling, and charges in with a running knee. However, Zed is a little slow getting up as he takes a closer inspection of the knee he used for the attack.

Sensing an opportunity, Dakota stomps on Zed’s knee. Then, Dakota calls out to Hunter, who passes the newly unveiled Pain Cabin to him. Dakota drags Zed into the cabin after assembling it.

Russ: By God, who knows what kind of pain Zed is enduring inside those four hastily assembled walls.
Razz: They call it the Pain Cabin for a reason, Russ!
Russ: An astute observation from you, Columbo.
Razz: You got me good, Russ. I bet that joke killed with our 75+ demographic.
Russ: Man, Zed’s been in there a long time. I’m starting to get concerned.

On cue, Zed comes tumbling out of the cabin, shouting in agony. He crawls to the corner, reaching out to frantically tag Sean before tumbling recklessly out of the ring, holding his right knee.

Favoring his knee, Zed pulls himself up to his feet and sizes up Hunter. Hunter rises … right into Moment of Zed! But how much did Zed hurt his own knee in the process? He writhes in pain but forces himself to stand up. Zed ambles to the corner, shaking his head before climbing to the top rope. He precariously checks his balance, looks behind him one time for good measure to see Hunter still prone on the mat … THE ANSWER!

Zed doesn’t stick the landing cleanly, but he quickly crawls over to Hunter for the cover. One, two … and the bell rings?!?

Zed gives a confused look at Junior Hale, who quickly walks over to the ropes to confer with the timekeepers. Sean and BRICK~! both rush to ringside to eavesdrop on the conversation and offer their insight, all while Zed remains covering Hunter.

Mike Elevenbee: This match has reached its 20-minute time limit and has been declared a draw! As a result, STILL your OOWF Tag Team Champions, the Woodsmen!

Sean immediately climbs into the ring, demanding Junior Hale restart the match and asking for five more minutes. Zed simply has his head in his hands, unable to process this turn of events. Hunter and Dakota are having their own meeting of the minds, and don’t seem to have an issue with continuing the match, but Junior insists there will be no such continuation, waving off any potential restart and leaving the ring.

• War Pigs vs. Mr. Nigel and Mr. Liam
The Royal Guard is out first along with Angie Delpetro. War Pigs plays and PORK and Katie storm the ring as the crowd goes NUTS! The brawl is immediately on.

PORK and Nigel square off in one corner while Katie and Liam fight opposite. Katie and PORK try a double whip, but the Royal Guard reverses it, in an instant, Katie slides between a charging PORK's legs and PORK goes on to CRUSH Liam in one corner, while Katie springs to her feet and nearly takes Nigel's head off with a European Uppercut.

Nigel falls out of the ring and PORK follows him to the outside, while inside, Liam rakes Katie's eyes, sending her staggering. Liam steps in and BLASTS Katie with a right cross, then DARES her to hit him back.

Russ: This is not a sound strategy on Liam's part
Razz: It is if he wants to eat soup for a month

Katie DROPS Liam with a punch, then pulls off her shirt (still wearing a sports bra for you perverts> The crowd roars SHIRT OFF! FISTS UP! As Liam gets to his feet, Katie peppers him with shots to the face, then does a little Road Dogg shuffle and drops him with a final punch, then mounts him and rains fists down on his face.

While this is going on, outside the ring, PORK and Nigel are duking it out. PORK gets the upper hand and BLISTERS Nigel with some PORK CHOPS! Nigel catches PORK with a shot to gut, then charges but PORK hits him with a POP UP POWERBOMB through the announce table! PORK moves to get back into the ring when a hooded man grabs him and spins him around and hits him with a shot to the jaw that drops him to one knee.

Russ: WHY THE HELL DO WE ALLOW HOODIES IN THE ARENA?

The hooded man hops the guardrail and grabs PORK and slams him face first into the ringpost, then hammers PORK repeatedly with shots from a gloved hand. The man throws the hood off

Russ: IT'S THAT DAMN QUICK!
Razz: What is Pete Quick doing in the OOWF Arena Russ?
Russ: HE WORKS HERE!
Russ: Oh yeah!

Quick uses the (undoubtedly loaded) glove and applies THE CLAW! PORK writhes in pain as the blood begins to flow from his head. Nigel slowly gets up from the wreckage of the table and slides into the ring and DESTROYS Katie with a clothesline to the back of the head to get her off his partner. With Angie distracting the referee Liam grabs a chair and KILLS Katie as she gets to her feet. The Royal Guard quickly set her up and hit a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on the chair! They cover, Angie hops off the apron and pulls the chair out of the ring, the referee never saw a thing! Liam covers, one...two...three!

Your winner (pinfall, 7:02), The Royal Guard!

After the match, they keep the beatdown going until Jack Quinn runs to the ring with HDB, Nigel, Angie and Liam bail quickly, and try to pull Quick away, Quick hops on the apron, snarling at Jack, Jack takes a swing, but Quick hops down before contact is made. They retreat to the back as medical comes out to check on PORK and Katie.

• OOWF No. 1 Contender match: Lindsay McAllister vs. Alexander Darling
“King of the World” plays out Alexander, who slowly walks to the ring and perches himself on the top turnbuckle in the red corner, staring only at the entrance ramp and ignoring a few concession items tossed his way by ringside fans. “Just a Girl” draws out Lindsay, who receives a much more positive response from the crowd as she jogs to the ring, saluting the fans, but getting drilled from behind by Alexander before Davis Hightower pulls Alexander away and reads him the riot act as Lindsay collects herself. Hightower checks on Lindsay, who motions that she’s good to go as Hightower signals for the bell. Lindsay leapfrogs a charging Alexander and then hops over him on the return charge before greeting him with a dropkick on the rebound charge. Alexander rolls out of the ring after taking the boots to the jaw, but is unaware of Lindsay’s springboard plancha that sends both crashing and burning into the front of the announce table. Lindsay is the first to come to, trying to pull Alexander up, but he grabs a strap on Lindsay’s top and whips her head-first into the nearby barricade, knocking out the LED signal for a second. Lindsay stands up and falls forward, clipping Alexander’s knee, in an act of physics-based convenience. Alexander holds his leg while Lindsay staggers to her feet. Alexander is able to get into the ring with Lindsay a second behind as any sort if count is non-existent from Hightower as pointed out emphatically by Alexander, who believed that he would have beaten a 10-count that Lindsay wouldn’t have just now. With Alexander jaw-jacking with Hightower, Lindsay pulls Alexander into a lung-blower, getting 2 before Alexander desperately kicks out, kips up and runs through Lindsay with a shoulder tackle as the feed goes to a commercial for OOWF.tv's newest Q&A series, “Shootin’ with the Stars, Featuring Biff Slamkovich.”

Back from commercial with Alexander in control, tossing Lindsay with ease and aplomb as a grin sweeps across his face. A crucifix bomb gets 2.5. Alexander calls for Dark Darling Rising, but cannot even get the sequence started as Lindsay fights out of the brain buster and rolls Alexander up for 2. Alexander replies with a standing headbutt that floors Lindsay and sends her outside. Alexander follows out as Hightower starts his count. Lindsay greets Alexander with a stiff left hand and then a right hand as the two start a hockey fight, won eventually by Alexander as he gives Lindsay a tour of the ringside steps. Alexander continues overpowering Lindsay, pressing her onto the announce table as the bell suddenly rings.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee Davis Hightower has counted out both participants (8:53).

Afterward, Alexander rushes into the ring to argue with Hightower as Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron.

Shizuru-Mune: “Alex. Lindsay. While tonight’s match did not determine a No. 1 contender for our world champion Lexie Darling to face at Hell on Earth, I have been given the authority by General Manager Firewoman to allow both of you to advance to Sept. 23 to face Lexie in a triple treat match.”

The feed on the OOWFTron goes dark as Alexander and Lindsay both nod in approval.

• OOWF World Championship match: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Kylie Mignolio
“Jaded” brings out Kylie, with Josie in tow, as the young manager high-fives her aunt before heading to the back. Kylie runs to the ring and stands atop the turnbuckles, egging on the crowd response while her music fades as “Radioactive” sends out Lexie, who shows her title for all to see atop the ramp. Lexie is greeted by Rocky the Bulldog, the athletics mascot at North Carolina-Asheville. Lexie doesn’t know what to make of the large Muppet on steroids, but eventually fist bumps the mascot as she heads to the ring. Rocky then tries to amp up the crowd as Mike Elevenbee gives the big-match introductions. The bell rings, per the request of Mel Creech, as the two trade headlocks with Lexie bailing after an atomic drop with Rocky giving Lexie a shoulder massage that creeps out the champion as she nearly slaps the giant mascot head. Back in the ring, Lexie catches Kylie in a leapfrog and reverses into a powerslam and then a bow-and-arrow hold, but Kylie escapes and boots Lexie down in the corner. Kylie gets 2 off a leaping knee drop, but Lexie grapples Kylie to the mat and delivers a few fierce forearms. Kylie escapes and gets a Fameasser on Lexie, who rolls to the outside only to eat a baseball slide. Creech’s count on Lexie gets to 6 before the champs gets back in and knees Kylie in the gut and then the face to take control. Lexie grabs a waist lock, but Kylie elbows her way to freedom. Lexie keeps coming, however, starting with an uppercut and following up with running dropkicks in the corner. Lexie props Kylie on the top turnbuckle with a superplex in mind, but Kylie fights her off and misses a 450 splash attempt as Lexie goes straight into a Texas Cloverleaf try that Kylie fights out of. Lexie works a pair of high-knees to down Kylie before hitting a knee-DT and then turning Lexie over into a sharpshooter attempt.

Russ: “That’s one of Kylie’s specialities! How embarrassing would it be to submit to your own hold?”
Razz: “You avoid that embarrassment by never allowing yourself to be put in that position!”

Kylie fights her way out and dodges a corner charge by Lexie, answering with an inverted suplex. Kylie spikes Lexie into the mat with a DDT as Rocky hops onto the apron to lead fans in cheers, but not on Kylie’s watch as she stops what she’s doing to confront the mascot, who drops down without incident. Kylie turns around as Lexie charges, crashing their heads together. Lexie falls on her back while Kylie falls on top, getting 2.9 from Creech as Rocky grabs Kylie’s ankle and pulls her from the ring before smashing her with a lariat with Creech signaling for the bell.

Your winner, (disqualification, 13:06) Kylie Mignolio!

As Elevenbee explains that the title does not change hands, Kylie confronts Rocky and shoves him while Lexie drops to the outside to retrieve her championship. As Rocky celebrates with a very not-into-it Lexie, Kylie dropkicks Rocky and strips off his head to reveal Alexander Darling, who starts to pummel Kylie as officials pour down the ramp to separate the developing brouhaha. While Kylie, Lexie and Alexander shout at each other and to anyone within an earshot, Assistant General Manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox appears on the OOWFTron again.

Shizuru-Mune: “Kylie. Your opportunity to become world champion was unfairly taken from you by Alexander Darling. While I cannot remove Alexander from the world-title match at Hell on Earth, General Manager Firewoman has declared that on Sept. 23, Kylie Mignolio has been added as a challenger to Lexie Darling’s championship. See you three and Lindsay in Asheville.”

Kylie is elated at the news while Alexander breaks through the yellow shirts to drill Kylie. As officials tend to Kylie, Alexander stops cold as he spots Lexie’s championship on the floor. The feed cuts out as Alexander stares at his reflection in the front plate before Lexie scoops the belt off of the floor.

OOWF Saturday Slam – Aug, 26, 2023 – Aug. 28, 2023 
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina

• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Rory Thomas
Cold open with both men already in the ring and Davis Hightower signaling for the bell. Rory charges, but is met with a stiff superkick from Jeff that gets 2. Rory rolls out while checking his jaw as Jeff teases a dive to the outside. Rory rolls back in and ducks a big boot from Jeff, catching the leg and trying to stand up into a stretch muffler before Jeff fights his way out. Jeff spins into a backfist from Rory that gets 2. Rory heads to the ropes and leaps off with something in mind, but is caught by a just-now-upright Jeff and tossed across the ring via overhead suplex. Rory, ever the persistent one, races toward Jeff again, only to be stopped in his tracks with a crescent kick to the temple. Jeff covers and gets 2. As Jeff attempts to get Rory to a vertical base, Rory pulls Jeff down into a small package that gets 2 before Jeff shifts his hips and gets 3 with Rory escaping at 3.01.

Your winner (pinfall, 3:08), Jeff Mangyuniku!

Afterward, Jeff offers a handshake to Rory, which is accepted, though Rory is visibly less than pleased with the outcome.

• Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon vs. Nuke and Annie Horvath
“Hate Breeders” plays with Nuke and Annie emerging from behind the curtain. Nuke trades verbal barbs with ringside fans. “Surf Wax America” plays out Sandra, who waits atop the ramp as “I Get Wet” breaks in, announcing Mac. Mac and Sandra nod and charge the ring with Sandra pairing off with Annie and Mac with Nuke. While Mac and Nuke are fairly even in their brawl, Sandra quickly outclasses Annie with a clothesline finishing a flurry of offense and also sending Annie over the top rope. From there, Sandra and Mac team up to pinball Nuke with right hands with a particularly stiff jab from Mac sending Nuke over the top rope. While Mac and Sandra pose, Nuke exits the ringside area in a huff, leaving a very confused Annie behind. Annie reluctantly reenters the ring with Sandra staying in for her team. Sandra floors Annie with a discus Polish Hammer before tagging in Mac, who signals for a Flash Drive. Mac lifts Annie upward only for Nuke to rush back in and yank Annie down. As Mac turns around, Nuke blasts Mac in the face with the flame from a propane torch as Angelo Barros frantically calls for the bell.

Your winners (disqualification, 4:21), the team of Mac Flasher and Sandra Fallon!

Afterward, Annie questions Nuke’s actions while Sandra checks on Mac. Sandra then confronts Nuke, only for an enraged Mac to barrel into Nuke and trigger a wild ringside brawl as Annie and Sandra are doing what they can to pull away their respective partners. Mac drills Nuke with a roundhouse kick and then looks for a pile driver on the announce table before OOWF officials and security finally break up the fight. Mac, who had his eyebrows singed, but otherwise appears unharmed tries to get after Nuke, but can’t get past the human barricade.

• Zed and Sean Franklin vs. The One-Notes
The One-Notes are already in the ring as “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons starts to play, and Sean Franklin emerges onto the entrance ramp in his standard red singlet … and then stops. He looks around, waiting for Zed to emerge, but he doesn’t right away. Just as it appears he’s starting to get a little uneasy, floodlights in the arena turn red, and the music flips.



Zed steps out as the music plays, wearing red tights with gold trim. On the side of his left leg is TIO written in white and purple lettering, with ZED on the other leg in similar fashion.

Sean eyes Zed and offers nothing more than a knowing smirk, and Zed shakes his head a bit before giving a fist bump and they make their way to the ring.

Razz: That’s definitely a more vibrant outfit than we’re used to seeing from Zed.
Russ: There have been many cold days in the hell of OOWF, but seeing Zed, the lifelong Tar Heel at heart, wearing red might be one of the coldest.
Razz:  But what better way to establish he’s committed to working with Sean and making this team work?
Russ: Or that he’s the biggest sucker here.

Sean starts in the ring, and quickly overpowers Carrie … she could probably hold her own if this were a grappling matchup, but Sean uses his strength to toss Carrie around the ring. After bringing Carrie to the mat with a spinebuster, Sean tags in Zed.

Zed isn’t able to get in the ring fast enough to prevent Carrie crawling over to sneak in a tag to Harper, but he grins, shrugs his shoulders, and runs in to clothesline Harper. Harper scouts it out, however, going low with, for lack of a better description, a chop block on Zed. Seeing an opportunity, Harper, stomps repeatedly on Zed’s leg, but Zed is able to roll out of the ring.

Harper begins to charge towards the ropes to follow Zed, but BRICK~! steps in front of Zed, probably more to Zed’s chagrin than Harper’s. Zed waves BRICK~! off and climbs back into the ring. Harper goes full-steam towards Zed again, but this time it’s Zed who ducks and connects with a Pele kick.

Zed backs Harper into his team’s corner with a series of chops, then tags in Sean. Zed hits the Moment of Zed on his way out of the ring, then Sean steps in and hits his Full Nelson Slam, cover, one, two, THREE.

Your winners (6:12; pinfall), Sean Franklin and Zed.

Zed and Sean share a smile and a hug after the win, with Zed then lifting Sean’s arm in victory before making their way backstage.

• OOWF World Championship qualifier: Alexander Darling vs. Beverly Cambridge
The bell rings with Alexander and Beverly fighting over an Irish whip, which Alexander wins. Beverly tries to leap over Alexander, who ducked a second too early, but jams her ankle on the landing, immediately clutching the injured leg. Alexander takes a second to process, but immediately lunges in to take advantage, only to have Ben Coleman step in front before checking on Beverly. Coleman then signals for medical assistance while Alexander tries to continue the match against the wounded Beverly. Coleman then waves off the match with Alexander raising his arms in victory.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee Ben Coleman has determined that Beverly Cambridge is unable to continue, therefore he …

“Just a Girl” interrupts before Mike Elevenbee can finish his statement, bringing out Lindsay McAllister, with a smile on her face. Suddenly the OOWFTron pops on to a feed from inside the Junior Executive’s office with Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox sitting at his desk.

SHIZURU-MUNE: “Due to the unfortunate injury that occurred very early in tonight’s scheduled match, I have been given the authority to set up a match for the next edition of Saturday Slam on September 9 between Alexander Darling and Lindsay McAllister, with the winner moving on to face Lexie Darling for her OOWF World Championship at Hell on Earth on Sept. 23.”

Alexander is apoplectic, protesting loudly that he had already defeated Beverly while Lindsay smiles from the ramp.

• Lexie Darling and Lindsay McAllister vs. The Frenemies
All four combatants shake hands before the bell is called for by Mel Creech. At the bell, Lexie and Lindsay hit stereo superkicks and salute the crowd before Bridget and Kylie land superkicks of their own. Lindsay follows with a corner splash on Kylie that gets a flash 2 before Bridget saves. Lindsay and Lexie trade tags and work a chin lock on Kylie before she fights her way out and tags in Bridget, who elbows her way through both Lindsay and Lexie before a running crossbody gets 2 on Lexie. Bridget continues her rampage with clotheslines but gets caught by a rebound lariat from Lexie and a 450 from Lindsay that gets 2.5 before Kylie makes the save. Lexie and Lindsay trap Bridget in the corner and deliver back-to-back corner splashes. Bridget falls forward, but grabs an armbar attempt on Lindsay during her cover try. Lindsay escapes and rolls away while Bridget tags in Kylie, who leaps off the apron to deliver a meteora to Lindsay on the outside. Kylie rolls Lindsay back into the ring, but eats a one-step baseball slide after taking a second too long to egg on the fans in attendance cheering for The Frenemies. Lexie and Lindsay work quick tags, setting Kylie up in tandem attacks, getting a series of 2-counts in the process. A double power bomb is thwarted as Kylie reverse and attempts to lock both into an STF, but both are able to pull away with ease. Kylie, mostly spent, tries to stand herself up in the corner, but gets chopped back down by Lexie. A Northern Lights suplex gets 2 before Lindsay tries an STF of her own.

Kylie attempts to reach the ropes, but cannot extend her arm long enough. Finally she reaches her free hand upward and facewashes Lindsay until she bites down on her fingers, prompting Creech to call for a break. Kylie, in a last-gasp, surges up and hits an exploder on Lindsay before diving to make the page to Bridget, who enters with a series of superkicks and half-moon kicks. Bridget nails both with an O’Mallet and then pulls Lindsay in for a Red Death Elbow, that gets 2.5 after Lexie makes the save. As Bridget looks toward Creech to question his counting speed, Lexie and Lindsay drill Bridget with a double dropkick. Lindsay follows with a moonsault that catches knees. Lexie and Kylie begin battling on the outside with Bridget and Lindsay slowly getting to their feet. The two on the inside grapple with both trying to gain the advantage through a backslide, which the taller Bridget wins and gets a stunning 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 10:48), The Frenemies!

Afterward, Bridget joins the fight on the outside as Lindsay is quick to follow. The four battle their way up the ramp as officials and security stand by before Josie runs out, pleading for cooler heads to prevail.

• War Games-like Match: Pete Quick, Angie Delpetro, Liam, Nigel and Awesome Bill From Dawsonville vs. Jack Quinn, PORK, Katie Bardoor and The Woodsmen
”Kingmaker” plays and Pete Quick leads his team to the ring. He is accompanied by Angie Delpetro, Mr. Nigel, Mr. Liam and a reluctant Awesome Bill From Dawsonville.

Russ: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to War Games/the Match Beyond! The set up for this is a little different, the ring is surrounded by a cage, which is then surrounded by a Hell in a Cell cage. For the War Games portion of the match, the door on the inner cage will remain locked until all ten participants are in the ring. Pinfalls or submissions mean nothing. The match cannot end until everyone is in. Once they are all in, the door will be unlocked, allowing everyone to get to the plunder scattered around and under the ring.
Razz: Matches like these make me glad I am retired Russ

”Symphony of Destruction” plays and Shokan Dojo comes out and Jack, Katie and PORK are all wearing their animal themed head gear (and Jack is wearing a Double Cross Ranch t-shirt. The Woodsmen join them and the five make their way to the ring

Russ: like everyone else tonight, you see the OOWF paying tribute to Terry Funk and Bray Wyatt who have both left us far too soon.
Razz: The stories I could tell about Terry …
Russ: Folks, it looks like Mr. Nigel is going to start things for Team Quick
Razz: Nigel is MASSIVE, dude’s gotta be, what, six three? Three hundred pounds, easily?

Nigel steps into the cage and walks right over to Katie and blows a kiss at her. The discussion over who goes in first immediately ends. Katie climbs into the cage, steps between the ropes and pulls her shirt off, and the crowd goes NUTS!

Razz: SHIRT OFF, FISTS UP!

Nigel looks amused as Katie squares up with him and he reaches out and pats her on the top of the head, drawing a huge gasp from the crowd. Katie turns and hits him with a straight left to the nose, immediately breaking Nigel’s nose! Blood pours down his face as he grab his nose, Katie kicks him on the side of the knee, dropping him to his knees, then grabs his head and SLAMS it into her knee, dropping him flat to his back. Katie mounts him and hammers him with straight punches to the face. She gets to her feet and Nigel looks stunned, he gets to one knee and Katie charges across the ring and catches him with a falling clothesline that slams the back of his head against the mat.

Katie pulls Nigel to his feet and sends him into the cage, as he rebounds, Katie tries a clothesline, but Nigel ducks and hits the ropes and KILLS Katie on the rebound with a clothesline from hell! Nigel tries to wipe the blood from his face, and gets angry and as Katie stands up, he charges off the ropes and lands a boot to the side of the head that sends Katie into the ropes, she catches herself on the top rope, turns and looks at Nigel and wipes her cheek, then flips Nigel off. The two of them meet in the middle of the ring and we have a good old fashioned hockey fight!

The timer goes off and Mr. Liam heads into the cage.

Russ: This is not good for Katie
Razz: Katie is one of the toughest wrestlers in this company, but even SHE can’t withstand this!

As Liam is coming into the cage, Katie rakes Nigel’s eyes and kicks him in the jewels, then darts over and catches Liam with a right cross to the jaw, Liam staggers and Katie whips him to the ropes and catches him with a powerslam on the rebound. She gets to her feet and avoids a clothesline from Nigel and hits him with an inverted atomic drop, then bounds off the ropes and lays Nigel out with a double axe handle to the face!

Katie turns around and eats a SPEAR from Liam. He puts the boots to Katie while Nigel recovers, then the two of them team up and throw Katie into the cage. Nigel holds Katie’s face against the cage, raking it across the steel repeatedly, he snaps her off the ropes and she staggers right into a SISTER ABIGAIL from Liam!

Liam and Nigel take turns throwing Katie into the cage until her face is a mask of blood. Big mistake. As they pose and play the crowd, Katie wipes the blood from her face and gets a sick grin on her face. Katie walks up behind them and sends Liam to dick kick city and plants him with a DDT. Nigel tries to drop a leg as Katie is down, but she moves out of the way and grabs Nigel, scoops him up and ties him into the tree of woe, Katie gets a running start and drives a knee into Nigel’s gut. She gets up and turns around as Nigel flies through the air and BLASTS her with a shining wizard, sending Katie staggering, falling between the ropes and the cage!

The buzzer goes off and Dakota of the Woodsmen comes into the cage.

Razz: Well, this is going to be interesting
Russ: No love lost between Katie and the Woodsmen

Dakota steps through the cage door, and pauses a moment for the kazoo fanfare, then ducks a clothesline from Nigel, and takes him to the mat with a snapmare, then connects with a kick to the back of the head. Liam tries to attack, but Dakota traps him and hits a t-bone suplex that drops Liam on his head. As Nigel gets to his feet, Dakota grabs him and throws him toward the cage, Nigel hits the cage face first and staggers backward, Dakota lifts him onto his shoulders, and Katie climbs the turnbuckle and hits the DOOMSDAY DEVICE!

Razz: Holy crap they worked together!
Russ: This is not what I was expecting!

Katie starts to grab Liam when Dakota stops her. He reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a flask, which makes Katie raise an eyebrow, but then Dakota points to the H2O label. He takes a long drink and passes it to Katie, who just stares at him, then takes a long swig.

Russ: There’s no denying hydration is important
Razz: Not sure Team Quick has enough heat to worry about cramps just yet

Liam is back on his feet, and he rakes Katie’s eyes, then catches Dakota with a low blow, sends him into the cage, and catches him on the rebound with a spinning lariat, then lifts him and hits a PILEDRIVER! Dakota hits HARD and lies motionless on the mat. Katie gets her vision back and takes a step toward the downed Dakota, when she is blindsided by Nigel with a clubbing shot to the back of the neck. Nigel grabs Katie and hits a POWERBOMB!

The buzzer goes off and Angie Delpetro makes her way into the ring

Russ: Now is when it gets bad. Dakota and Katie are BOTH down, and Quick has the man advantage!
Razz: This could get ugly in a hurry

Angie tells Liam and Nigel to life Dakota to his feet and she BLASTS him with a superkick to the jaw. They do the same to Katie, then they stand over them gloating. Angie hits a few disrespectful slaps to the back of Katie’s head while Nigel and Liam work Dakota over in the corner. Katie tries to get to her feet, but every time she does, Angie kicks her sending her back to the mat. Delpetro chokes Katie on the bottom rope and peppers her with crossfaces that seem to draw more blood.

On the other side of the ring, Nigel and Liam whip Dakota into the opposite corner, he hits chest first and staggers backward and Nigel lifts him and hits a BURNING HAMMER!

Russ: GOOD GAWD DAKOTA MIGHT BE DEAD!

Angie pulls Katie to her feet and shoves her into the corner. She slowly walks to the opposite corner and taunts Katie before charging with a HELLUVA KICK! But Katie avoids the kick and reverses it into a urinage slamming Angie to the mat! Liam and Nigel immediately storm over and put the boots to Katie. They set her up for a tandem powerbomb when the buzzer goes off, and to great kazoo fanfare, HUNTER climbs into the ring!

Hunter chop blocks Nigel’s knee sending him to the mat. He then peppers Liam with forearms to the side of the head, he sends Liam to the ropes and Dakota appears out of nowhere and they hit the ROUGH RIDER! (FTR’s Big Rig) They pop o their feet as Nigel charges and they hit him with a double flapjack! With both Liam and Nigel down, the Woodsmen each grab a leg and begin to ROW THE BOAT! (look it up, great old double team move) Angie struggles to her feet and turns around to come face to face with Katie.

Russ: I believe Mrs. Delpetro is about to have an out of body experience
Razz: As in, Katie might just tear her spine out of her body

Katie hammers Angie with punches to the face, then sends her into all four sides of the cage. As Angie bounces off the last one, she staggers toward Katie, blood streaming down her face, takes a swing, then does the Flair flop face first to the mat and the crowd pops huge. The Woodsmen pull Nigel and Liam to their feet and hit matching atomic drops that almost send them into one another, but they stop and are about to hug it out when Katie grabs them, DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Liam and Nigel are down, outside the ring Quick is BESIDE himself with rage. He is shouting directions to Bill, and shoves him toward the door when the buzzer goes off.

Bill climbs into the ring, almost reluctantly, and sizes up his odds.

Razz: Can’t say I blame him, it’s three on one at the moment!

The Woodsmen stop and decide that they should play rock, paper scissor to decide who should face Bill. Katie looks at them like she would like to murder them. They do and Hunter wins. The Woodsmen shake hands and Hunter goes to lock up with Bill, but Nigel and Liam are somehow back on their feet and they attack Katie and Dakota from behind. Dakota tries to save his partners, but Bill grabs him from behind and takes him to the mat and works and arm bar, keeping Hunter on the mat.

Katie is holding her own against Nigel, but Angie hits her from behind. Katie gets a spurt of energy and fights back, lifting Angie for a suplex, then dropping her on the top rope. She turns around and Nigel tries a spear, but Nigel sidesteps it and spears Angie into the cage! Across the ring, Dakota has Liam in the corner and he hits the ten forearms of doom, but on the last one, Liam lifts him and powerbombs him to the mat. Liam climbs the ropes and motions for an elbow drop, he leaps, but Dakota moves and Liam crashes and burns! Dakota locks on the Indigenous Person Death Lock. Katie and Dakota struggle to their feet and we see Bill is still working the arm bar, Hunter is selling it like he is about to die and is about to tap out when Dakota drops to his knees and stops his hand from hitting the mat!

Russ: I mean … he can’t submit yet
Razz: It’s symbolic, Russ

Spurred on by his partner, while Katie keeps Nigel, Angie and Liam on the mat with kicks to the face, Hunter HUNTERS UP TO HIS FEET! He stands and points at Bill, who looks confused, YOU!!!

The buzzer goes off and PORK comes in! PORK drops Bill with a clothesline, then hits Nigel and Liam in the corners with avalanche clotheslines. Katie grabs Angie and sends her into the corner and PORK charges in and crushes her with a CANNONBALL! PORK is on FIRE! He grabs Bill and throws him into the corner and lights him up with PORK CHOPS! The match breaks down and we have absolute chaos in the ring. Katie and PORK fight with Nigel and Liam on the other side of the ring, the Woodsmen square off with Angie and Bill. Angie grabs Hunter and tells Bill to throw him into the cage, Bill grabs him, but then takes him over with a side headlock and keeps him on the mat, really wrenching on the hold.

Razz: Who the hell does he think he is? Strangler Lewis?
Russ: I am not sure Bill could spell Strangler Lewis if you spotted him all the letters and told him what order they went in.

Angie looks a bit annoyed at Bill, which allows Dakota to scoop her up and slam her on the mat. Dakota heads to the top rope, but gets cut off by Angie, who DROPS him on the top turnbuckle with a BRAINBUSTER! While trapped in the devastating headlock of doom, Hunter sees his partner nearly die and once again Hunter’s up and takes Bill to the mat with a belly to back suplex! On the other side of the ring, PORK grabs the massive Nigel and hits a buckle bomb, then catches him with a release overhead suplex that sends Nnigel crashing into the mat. Angie swoops in and tries a hurracarana on PORK, but he holds onto her and slings her into the cage! The crowd is ROARING for PORK!

The buzzer goes off and Pete Quick steps through the door.

Razz: Why is he wearing a black glove?
Russ: Who does he think he is? Ted DiBiase?
Razz: Damn Russ, Strangler Lewis and Ted DiBiase? Really appealing to the young audience our there ain’t ya?

Quick comes in and grabs PORK and nails him with the black gloved fist to the face. PORK drops to one knee, Quick hits him again and he goes down, with blood trickling from a gash on his forehead. Quick uses the glove to quickly dispatch of Katie and the Woodsmen, leaving them all bloodied, or in Katie’s case, bloodier. Angie, Nigel and Liam revel in it, putting the boots to everyone, while Bill stands in the corner looking rather uncertain about the whole thing. Quick is barking orders at him, and Bill heads to the top rope and hits a diving headbutt on PORK. Quick calls for more, getting Liam and Nigel to pull an exhausted Katie to her feet, Bill heads to the top rope again and hits a flying clothesline.

Quick cackles with glee and grabs Katie and pulls her over to where Jack is standing, waiting to get into the match. He chokes her on the bottom rope and screams at Jack “LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! Quick hits the ropes and drops a knee across the back of Katie’s head, then spits on Jack, who snarls with rage.

The buzzer goes off, and Jack’s snarl turns into a wicked grin.

Russ: Folks welcome to the Match Beyond! Now pin falls and submissions count. No disqualification, no countout, no rules!

He heads toward the door and Quick dashes across the ring and pulls a chain from his pocket and padlocks the door!

Razz: He locked Jack out! They are going to end the careers of the Woodsmen and War Pigs!
Russ: This was exactly the plan all along!

Bill tries to argue with Quick to unlock the door, but he directs Bill to help with the beat down, which he does, reluctantly. Outside the ring, Jack is trying to get the door open, but cannot, so he starts climbing, but every time he starts up the side of the ramp, Quick climbs the opposite side and kicks the chair and sends him to the floor. Jack is quickly losing patience with it. Bill sees what is going on and once again tries to get Quick to open the door. Quick gets in Bill’s face and tells him to do as he says, Bill shoves him to the mat, which pops the hell out of the crowd, while that is going on, Jack is able to climb the cage and gets into the ring and IMMEDIATELY charges at Quick, who runs and hides behind Liam and Nigel.

Jack goes nuts and attacks everyone. PORK finally gets to his feet and walks over to the door, where officials are trying to open the lock, PORK reaches down, looks at it, then gives the chain one hard tug and the chain pops off and the door swings open! PORK walks out and starts throwing trash cans full of plunder into the ring.

The match continues on, but Quick manages to mostly escape the wrath of Jack. The match goes on for another thirty minutes with all ten wrestlers fighting in and out of the ring. Jack gets a few shots in on Quick, but he weasels free every time. The Woodsmen nearly get the win after a BULLY BOMB on Bill, but the IC champ kicked out at two. After nearly an hour of an out of control brawl, all ten wrestlers are exhausted, there are broken tables, chairs and ladders everywhere, kendo sticks, you name it. Quick tears off his TF/BW arm band and uses it to choke Hunter, drawing HUGE boos from the crowd. After Quick blindsides Jack with a shot from his gloved fist, he has Liam and Nigel hold Jack while he tears off Jack’s Funk U shirt (drawing more heat). The camera catches a good shot of Jack’s back, which is still deeply scarred from the last match. Quick pulls off his belt and begins whipping Jack, but PORK and Dakota put a stop to that.

The end finally comes when the Woodsmen reach into one of the cans and they pull something out … it’s the TAPOUT TENT! They quickly construct it and grab Liam and throw him inside. Dakota and Hunter follow him in, Dakota zips the tent and we hear Liam screaming in agony. While Jack and Bill fight in one corner and PORK and Quick fight in another, Angie escapes Jack with a kick to the jewels. She climbs to the top rope and hits a SWANTON BOMB on the TAPOUT TENT The tent collapses and Angie, Liam and the Woodsmen remain in the wreckage. Jack staggers around the ring and reaches into a can and pulls out …

Russ: Is that …
Razz: IT’S HAPPY DETH BAT!

Jack points it at Quick, and Quick runs. He leaves the cage and starts climbing the outer cage to get away. Jack grabs Angie by the leg and pulls her off the wreckage and traps her in the crippler crossface using HDB across Angie’s face to pull her back, Angie IMMEDIATELY taps out!

WINNERS in 1:06:42 - Shokan Dojo & The Woodsmen

OOWF Saturday Slam – Aug. 12, 2023
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina
• Jeff Mangyuniku vs. Ona Jones
Cold open with both combatants already in the ring. Ona tries to jump Jeff as he removes his ring jacket, but Jeff steps away as Ona runs face-first into the turnbuckles. Jeff, now sans jacket, cinches Ona in a cobra clutch before snapping off an overhead suplex. The Doom Cloud gets 2 as Ona desperately kicks out. As Ona staggers upright, Jeff grabs her wrist while asking if the fans want to see Kaze Ni Nare. They respond accordingly. Jeff pulls Ona in for a ripcord lariat that drops her to the ground. Jeff covers. Angelo Barros counts 3.

Your winner (pinfall, 1:39), Jeff Mangyuniku!

Afterward, Jeff asks for a microphone and gets one from ring announcer Mike Elevenbee.

Jeff: “As you know, my brother Shizuru-Mune has recently announced his retirement from in-ring competition, choosing to maintain his path in the OOWF front office. Tonight, in front of all of our great OOWF fans, I am asking my brother to reconsider this decision. After what we did to The Young Bucks, we can become tag champions in a very short amount of time. Sizzlechest, I know that you probably won’t hear this until you review the show later, but you and I can be the best thing that ever happened to this tag division. Please reconsider.”

Jeff hands the microphone to Elevenbee and exits without incident, glad-handing fans on his way to the back.

• Nuke and Annie vs. Beverly Cambridge and Lindsay McAllister
Nuke and Annie are already in the ring as “Just a Girl” strums up and results in an eruption, one that Lindsay is still trying to process as she smiles and eggs on the fans while waiting for her tag partner, who is announced by “Cut the Cord” with Beverly receiving the same reaction – one that she’s used to. Beverly and Lindsay meet at the bottom of the ramp before rushing in. Nuke shoves Annie in their path and bails. Beverly and Lindsay don’t attack Annie, instead waiting on Nuke to return so that the match can start proper.

Russ: “What was that about? Nuke just shoved Annie in the path of a steamroller.”
Razz: “That’s Nuke’s way. He’s going to sacrifice whomever is nearby to preserve himself.”
Russ: “That’s his girlfriend!”
Razz: “She held her own in there, she’s fine.”
Russ: “Only because Beverly and Lindsay pulled back.”

Nuke hops to the apron and instructs Annie to start the match, which she bravely attempts by trying to wrestle Lindsay to the ground, but to no avail as the Australian sets her feet and holds her ground, despite the best efforts of Annie. Lindsay eventually grows bored of Annie’s grappling attempts and hip tosses her toward Nuke, who angrily tags in and gets caught in a drop toehold as he charged in. Lindsay and Beverly work quick tags while keeping Nuke isolated. Nuke rakes Beverly’s eyes, getting admonished by Davis Hightower. Nuke gets in Hightower’s face as Beverly lays into the rookie with a forearm to the jaw. Beverly peppers Nuke with kicks to the legs and chops him down with a particularly stiff kick to the knee. Tag exchanges keep Nuke isolated with Lindsay and Beverly combining to hit a double superplex that gets 2, only because of an Annie save. With Hightower escorting to her team’s corner, Nuke pulls a chain from his pocket and begins wrapping it around his fist as Beverly approaches. Nuke spins around and decks Beverly before shoving Lindsay through the ropes for good measure. Nuke waits for Beverly to stand before rushing in with Give ‘Em the Boot. Beverly ducks as Nuke’s awkward landing on the follow-through causes his knee to buckle. Lindsay, begging for a tag, gets it as she immediately rushes in and locks Nuke in a kneebar.

Russ: “While we don’t normally see this type of attack from Lindsay, this has been one of her focuses since rejoining OOWF.”
Razz: “It’s not perfect, but Matt Folz has been working with Lindsay to get that part of her game up to speed.”

Nuke is almost about to tap just as Annie runs in and punts Lindsay in the temple. While causing some discomfort, Annie’s striking power isn’t quite at OOWF quality. Again, Hightower escorts Annie to her corner with Nuke writhing on the mat. Nuke tries to stand, but the damage to the knee makes him unsteady as Lindsay spears the wobbly Nuke. Lindsay tags in Beverly as the pair stand Nuke up before Lindsay sweeps the leg from the back just as Beverly nails him with a high kick to the jaw. Nuke is folded up by Beverly as Hightower counts 3 with Annie just a step too late on the save.

Your winners (pinfall, 6:33), the team of Beverly Cambridge and Lindsay McAllister!

Afterward, Nuke refuses help from Annie, choosing to berate for being too late on the save. Annie pleads her case with Nuke – while hobbling – screaming her down for various frustrations. Beverly and Lindsay step in to offer their support, or at least solidarity, to Annie, who chooses to follow Nuke to the back while he continues dressing her down.

• The Frenemies vs. The Electric Company
With Joe and Jamie in the ring and jawing at ringside fans, Babymetal’s “Catch Me if you Can” plays out Josie, who has a bedazzled microphone in hand.

Josie: “Ladies and gentlemen, JosieCorp presents to you the all-time greatest tag team OOWF history. It’s Kylie Mignolio and her partner Bridget O’Malley. THE FRENEMIES!”

Kylie and Bridget emerge from behind the curtain, through both give Josie a look with Kylie asking, “All-time greatest?” as Josie nods in affirmation. The Frenemies head to the ring with Joe and Jamie trying to get the jump on the more-experienced pair. Kylie dropkicks Joe and Jamie is judo tossed and locked in an armbar by Bridget, drawing an immediate tapout, but the match hadn’t started yet. Official Mel Creech pulls Bridget off of Jamie as the teams separate. Creech signals for the bell as Joe rushes Bridget only to eat a forearm strike. Bridget yells before locking Joe in Tap or Nap, pulling him down to the mat. Joe frantically taps with Jamie and Kylie doing all they can to pull Bridget away.

Your winners (submission, :45), The Frenemies!

Afterward, Bridget lets go of the chicken-wing sleeper, but while also glaring at Jamie as Kylie tries to divert Bridget’s focus.

Russ: “I guess you can say Bridget wasn’t here to get paid by the hour.”
Razz: “Two weeks ago, it was her mistake that cost her team the win. It was clear she wasn’t going to let that happen tonight.”

• Mac Flasher vs. Alexander Darling
“King of the World” heralds the arrival of Alexander, who pays zero mind to the crowd reaction while slowly walking to the ringside area. Alexander climbs the corner and sits atop the top turnbuckle as he waits for “I Get Wet” to interrupt and play out Mac Flasher, which is exactly what happens. Mac jogs to the ring and is cut off by Misato Misawa as he strides toward Alexander. Misawa inspects both wrestlers before calling for the bell. Alexander doffs his hooded sweatshirt and teases throwing it in Mac’s face before flinging it toward the direction of a nearby ringside attendant. Alexander turns around and almost into a right hand by Mac, but he drops to the ground and slides out of the ring with almost no interest in hurrying back in until Misawa’s count gets to 8. Mac mockingly holds the ropes open as Alexander coldcocks Mac from the apron and shoves him down to the floor. Alexander drops back down with a hockey fight beginning, Mac lands a left hand that stuns Alexander long enough for Mac to dramatically roll in and beat Misawa’s count at 5. Alexander, a bit more nonchalant, rolls in at 7; but right into another fistfight that ends when Alexander ducks a wild swing by Mac, leaving the opportunity for the Aristobrat to send a jab to Mac’s unprotected kidney region. Mac falls immediately as Alexander gets to work, stomping away at Mac’s back and neck area.

Alexander begins to assert his will, holding Mac up in a delayed vertical suplex for at least 10 seconds. Alexander then grinds Mac’s face in the canvas while shouting some not-so-nice things. Alexander then grounds things with a chinlock that gets a bit of help on occasion when Alexander props his feet on the nearby ropes. Misawa checks for a submission while fans are pleading with the official to look upward, though Alexander with his eyes on Misawa is staying out of trouble by dropping his feet at the right moments. Alexander, who seems chuffed at his handiwork, starts barking at ringside fans, losing focus long enough for Misawa to catch sight of Alexander’s boots on the ropes and order a break. Alexander protests as Misawa is not backing down, quickly getting the count up to 4 before the break occurs.

Mac gets to his feet and ducks a spinning heel kick from Alexander, watching him crash to the mat before dropping a pair of elbows on Alexander’s back. A third elbow gets canvas as Alexander tries to tie Mac’s legs into a Texas Cloverleaf setup. Mac breaks free before the grapevining occurs, rolling to the outside. Alexander follows and is greeted by a one-step lariat from around the corner. Mac and Alexander give alternating tours of the ring posts with Mac whipping Alexander into the last post and then missing a Stinger Splash, banging his head off the post and busting himself open in the process.

Mac stumbles back as Alexander shove Mac back into the ring and waits on the apron for Mac to turn around. As Mac turns around, Alexander springboards off the apron and into a spine buster out of desperation as both men lay on the mat. Alexander rolls over and drapes an arm over Mac, getting 2.5 as Mac gets a foot on the ropes. Alexander is unfazed as he grabs Mac and hoists him upward and drops his head sharply on his knee. Alexander goes for the cover and gets 2.9. Mac tries to get a bit of space, but is cut off by Alexander, who sets up for a crucifix bomb, but gets backdropped and tied in the ropes. Mac assesses the situation and gets a few shots in before Misawa nudges him away and tries to until Alexander. Mac steps in and is blasted with a right hand from Alexander that partially catches Misawa as he drops in a heap.

Now this is professional wrestling, so things continue to be on the up and up until Nuke and Annie rush down to the ring and start putting the boots to Mac. Alexander confronts Nuke before passively signing off on the beatdown before Sandra Fallon runs down to add one person to Mac’s party, decking Annie and getting right into Nuke’s face before Nuke spits in Sandra’s face. Sandra wipes of her forehead before hammering away with a series of forearms to back Nuke in a corner. Sandra is then cut off by Annie, who lunges in for a bite but is held back by Mac. While all of this is happening, Alexander is handed Nuke’s chain and wraps it around his fist. As Alexander loads up a punch, Misawa grabs the hand, inspects the chain, does the mental math and signals for the bell.

Your winner (disqualification, 12:08), Mac Flasher.

Alexander, incensed, gets in Misawa’s face before Nuke tries to intervene. Alexander shoves Nuke and exits the ring in a huff while Nuke and Annie turn around into a lariat from Mac and a super kick from Sandra, respectively. Mac and Sandra stand tall, with Sandra jumping into a hug that makes Mac uneasy for a sec before he leans into the hug.

• Zed and Sean Franklin vs. War Pigs (Katie Bardoor and PORK)
The match begins with PORK and Zed in the ring. PORK charges in for a clothesline, but Zed eludes it and staggers PORK with a well-placed Pele kick, a surprisingly explosive start to the match for Zed. He follows with a series of strikes and kicks to bring PORK to the mat and has thoughts of working PORK’s legs to slow down the fight, but PORK quickly kicks him away.

Zed is controlling the flow of the fight, but struggling with PORK’s size. He tags in Sean, hoping his partner’s All-American physicality can help level the playing field. It doesn’t have the desired effect, and PORK quickly tags in Katie after flattening Sean with a clothesline.

However, Sean is quickly able to regain his footing against Katie and takes complete control of the match. Sean shows off great elusiveness and agility, avoiding much of Katie’s offense and often countering it with a strike, wrestling hold or suplex of his own. Sean goes for a cover, which sends both Zed and PORK scrambling into the ring – then tumbling out of it – as Katie kicks out at two.

The skirmish at ringside quickly settles down when Zed realizes the numbers are against him with Jack at ringside and returns to his corner, but Sean continues to wear down Katie. BRICK~! has thoughts of some kind of “advice” for Sean at ringside, but a menacing glare from Jack across the ring quickly dispels that notion. Sean connects a belly-to-belly suplex and goes for another pinfall, but Katie kicks out at two.

Sean tags Zed back in, and Katie puts some offense together to slow down Zed just enough to get PORK in as well, hoping to continue that mismatch. This time, Zed has a game plan, shooting PORK into the ropes. PORK hangs on to the top rope and plant his feet on the apron, but he does so just in time to see Zed running the ropes and greeting him with a dropkick to send him tumbling to ringside. Zed then hits the ropes again, and goes flying over the top rope onto an unsuspecting PORK.

Zed gets PORK back into the ring and connects with the GTH! Zed covers, one, two, NO! Katie is there to break it up. Sean sends Katie back out of the ring, then scrambles to his corner and awaits an incoming tag from Zed. Zed shoots PORK into the corner, hits PORK with a running boot, then tags in Sean. Sean smells blood in the water, and so does BRICK~! at ringside. Sean pummels PORK, then runs him into the ropes looking for an O’Connor Roll, but Sean loses his footing. In the botched attempt, Sean finds his shoulders against the mat with all of PORK’s weight on top of him! One, two, THREE!?!??!

Your winners (9:22; pinfall), War Pigs!

PORK immediately leaps to his feet as Katie runs into the ring to celebrate. Jack climbs into the ring, and even he can’t help but offer a grin with his pride in their ability to take the win in this match.

Meanwhile, Sean looks first at referee Ben Coleman, then at BRICK~! with a stunned look on his face. Zed has buried his head against the top turnbuckle in their corner. Sean stands up and goes over to Zed to plead his case, but Zed offers the universal nonverbal signal to not discuss the matter with him at the present moment before stepping off the apron. Sean follows Zed to the back, emotionally pleading his case, but it’s clear by the look on Zed’s face he’s in no mood for a conversation at the moment and using all of his restraint to avoid escalating the matter.

• OOWF Intercontinental Championship: Awesome Bill From Dawsonville (c) vs. Sandra Fallon
“Surf Wax America” plays with Sandra emerging from the back to a heroine’s welcome. Sandra, who is rarely not smiling, beams at the reaction while walking toward the ring. Sandra bounces off the ropes for a bit before “Free Bird” plays out Awesome Bill, who gets a mixed reaction as he walks to the ring. Awesome Bill hands his championship to Gavin “Junior” Hale, who shows the prize to Sandra and then holds it over his head before signaling to the timekeeper’s table to ring the bell.

Before the two can lock up, “Insane in the Brain” plays, causing an eruption among the fans in the OOWF Arena. Awesome Bill, smiling for the first time in months, looks toward the back, but there’s no sign of Justin Sane. Awesome Bill steps out of the ring to get a closer look, but still no Justin.

While Awesome Bill and Hale are looking toward the back, Nuke rolls out from underneath the ring and drills Sandra in the back of her head with a chain-aided haymaker. With Sandra face down on the mat, Nuke admires his handy work until Mac Flasher, bandaged from his match earlier in the evening, barrels past Awesome Bill and Hale toward the ring. Awesome Bill chases Mac down and gets in his face while Nuke makes an exit. Awesome Bill pantomimes that Mac tricked him by playing Justin’s music, which Mac is vehemently denying. Mac tries to check on Sandra, only for Awesome Bill to grab Mac by his hair and shove him down to the mat. Awesome Bill then whips Mac into the corner and follows with a big boot to the jaw. Mac falls in a heap with Awesome Bill looking at Mac and Sandra, both laying on the mat without much movement, as Pete Quick runs down to praise Awesome Bill for his work with Hale waving for medical assistance for Mac and Sandra.

Ladies and gentlemen, referee “Junior” Hale has determined this match to be a no-contest (:00).

Afterward, Awesome Bill shoves off Pete with Liam and Nigel standing on the outside to ensure that Pete is protected. Pete diffuses the situation while pointing to Mac and pantomiming that it was Mac who played the music to trick him.

• OOWF Tag Team Championship: The Woodsmen (c) vs. The One-Notes
The One-Notes are in the ring, singing their hearts out in an attempted cover of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” as “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” interrupts to the delight of every fan in attendance as Hunter and Dakota, The Woodsmen, strike their familiar pose atop the ramp. Hunter is in no mood to chatter, however, still covering his ears after the pose as the reverberation from The One-Notes’ performance bounces back to the floor area. The Woodsmen climb into the ring, striking the pose again, before Carrie and Harper rush the champions from behind. Carrie pairs off with Hunter as Harper battles Dakota, with The Woodsmen seemingly reeling until a double reversal on stereo Irish whips send Carrie and Harper nearly crashing into each other. Harper goes low as Carrie goes high, only for Dakota to catch and power slam Carrie with Hunter twisting Harper onto her back in a mouse trap pinning combination that gets 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 2:17), The Woodsmen!

Afterward, The Woodsmen celebrate their flash win only to get bullrushed from behind by Liam and Nigel, who try to brutalize The Woodsmen until PORK sprints down with Katie Bardoor a step behind. PORK barrels into Liam and Katie picks off Nigel, sending both running for higher ground in short order. PORK helps Dakota up to his feet while Katie indifferently looks on at Hunter, who offers a handshake. Katie kicks the hand away and storms to the back as PORK follows.

• Jack Quinn vs. an opponent of Pete Quick’s choosing
Symphony of Destruction plays and Jack Quinn steps out to the top of the ramp, but he is not his normal self, he takes an extra moment to look around the arena and soak in the building ovation. Finally he heads toward the ring>

Razz: This might be the biggest night of Jack's career.
Russ: It may also be the last night of his career, and I for one would like to be the first to wish him good riddance!
Razz: Russ, seriously, you cannot believe Quick
Russ: I've watched Jack Quinn butcher people for over twenty years, I have seen his work first hand. There is a special place in hell for men like Moosehead Jack
Razz: But this is Jack Quinn
Russ: Same damn thing

Jack gets into the ring and looks at the four garbage cans packed full of plunder and a look of concern crosses his face as Quick's music plays. The crowd boos the hell out of the song, and boos even harder when Quick, Delpetro, Mr. Liam and Mr. Nigel step out onto the stage.

Quick: You ignorant hillbillies never cease to amaze me with your ignorance <boos intensify as Quick turns his attention to Jack> Hiya Jackie! Now........I'm guessing you're wondering who you will be facing in this one hour gauntlet match. I certainly had an impressive list of names to choose from, you are QUITE unpopular around the WORLD … particularly in Japan, any … unpleasantness you might recall from Japan, eh Jackie Boy?

Jack seethes inside the ring.

Quick: So … Turns out I had a meeting with the … Let’s just call it a consortium of like minded individuals who want to rid the world of Jack Quinn, and we went over the list, and believe me, I could have brought in men that would have tied you in knots and made you cry, but then one of the partners had a better idea. What is the one thing Jack Quinn fears? Humiliation.

See Jackie, I've been paying attention to you since day one. Those early days when you were trying to convince us all you'd changed, I was watching. I saw you when you were at that fancy party in Asheville

They play the clip and we see Quick standing in the background, barely noticeable.

Quick: I was there when the drunk frat boy got on your nerves

Same thing.

Quick: “I was there watching you, you didn't know it, because you had no idea who I was, but you do now. And each time you would reach for that blade, it was because you were about to lose control, they were making things uncomfortable for you. You were out of your element. They all know what you are, who you were, and you were humiliated by that, because all of them know you're a lying coward.

So, knowing that, we decided to go a different route. Gentlemen …”

A group of 10 men walk out, all of them look like they could potentially have just escaped from prison. They slowly make their way to the ring and surround Jack. The fans look confused.

Razz: Who the hell are these guys?
Russ: I have no idea!

Quick: Now, you may be asking yourself, who the hell are these guys? These men, my friends, are The Blacklist. That's right, you are looking at the men blacklisted from professional wrestling. These men were deemed too violent for pro wrestling, that means Combat Zone Wrestling said no, that means the old Frontier Martial Arts said no thank you, hell even IWA Mid-South said they were not welcome! Imagine THAT too violent for Ian Rotten!

See Jackie, I could have brought a world class athlete in to put you in your place and end your career, but I thought this would be a whole lot more humiliating. Ring the bell.

Razz: How the hell is this even legal?
Russ: These men are not licensed to wrestle, who agreed to this?
Razz: I thought you didn't care?
Russ: This is too damn far. These men are in there to end a man's career, and if Quick has his way, his life. This is too damn much!

The bell rings and the men jump onto the apron, Jack manages to knock three of them off, and fight off a few as they come into the ring, but the numbers game gets the better of him, and soon enough they have him beaten down on the mat. Jack takes stomps from every one of them, then a few bail to set up tables outside the ring, and slide tables under the ropes to be set up inside the ring.

As one table is set up, one of the men lifts Jack for a powerbomb, but Jack slips free, lifts the man and hits a GTSF then flapjacks him through the table. Someone else grabs Jack by the hair and pulls him to his feet and they trade punches, but Jack gets taken down from behind. Two men hold Jack up and a third one tries a spear, but Jack gets a knee up and catches the man in the face, instantly breaking his nose, sending him out of the ring with blood pouring down his face. Jack slams the two holding him together, but when he turns around, another man BLASTS him right in the face with a chain wrapped fist. Jack goes down, and the pack pounces again.

Russ: Somebody's gotta stop this! This is a ten on one mugging!
Razz: How the hell is Jack supposed to survive this?
Russ: He's not. Quick is going to make DAMN sure of that!

Jack fights back once again, and this time bails out of the ring to try to catch a breather. PORK and Katie come to the ring and begin fighting, and the referee immediately gives Jack a warning

Russ: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
Razz: This is getting ridiculous

Jack Quinn has used his first referee warning.

Jack grabs a chair and turns and absolutely OBLITERATES another man. Drops him to the floor and you can tell he has no idea what planet he is on. Jack tosses the chair aside and looks at the referee.

Jack Quinn has used his second referee warning.

Jack tells PORK and Katie to stay back, then gets distracted for a second by a cackling Quick. One of the goons nails Jack from behind with a chair, and another wraps a bullrope around his throat. He slides into the ring and pulls Jack up until his is just off his feet. As Jack claws at the rope, the mob takes turns laying in punches and shots with a kendo stick. Finally Jack is able to slip onto the apron and get free of the rope. He falls between the ropes and hits the mat gasping for air as we see the man who took the chair shot getting helped to the back.

Russ: Oh, well, it's only NINE against one now. That seems fair!
Razz: We just hit twenty minutes, I can't believe he's made it this far.

When the referee turns and throws the bullrope out of the ring, Jack hits the man who had been choking him with a low blow, then takes off the bottom turnbuckle, as another guy comes at him with a tire iron, Jack drop toe holds him into the exposed buckle, opening a huge gash on his head. Jack quickly slides out of the ring and grabs a pair of cuffs and cuffs the mans hands around the ring post, then pulls him out to the floor.

Razz: Hey, that's pretty smart! Only eight against one now!
Russ: "only"

Jack remains on the outside as the eight men regroup inside the ring. Blood pours off Jack's head and he is breathing hard from nearly being hung. Four remain in the ring while four leave and two head toward Jack in either direction. As two pass the ramp, PORK and Katie begin yelling at them, which distracts them long enough for Jack to fly in and hit one with a Buisaku knee to the face, then avoids a chair shot from the other and hits a spinning heel kick that sends the chair into the man's face, dropping him to the floor as well. Sadly, Jack's luck runs out as the other two get there and throw him into the ring to get yet another beatdown.

Outside the ring, every time the referee isn't looking and the two men try to get to their feet, PORK and Katie "accidentally" trip them, sending them both face first into the steel guardrail. Inside the ring, one man takes a piece of the table and tries to gouge Jack's eye out. Jack howls in pain

Russ: JUST QUIT ALREADY! THAT ANIMAL WILL BLIND YOU!
Razz: This is … this is hard to watch

Jack frantically breaks free somewhat, enough to get his foot on the ropes forcing a break, the man stops, but they argue that, THEY don't have to follow the rules, HE does, so they shouldn't have to break. While all that is going on, Jack slides out of the ring again and gets a short breather.

Jack Quinn has used his first rope break

One of the men breaks away from the argument and reaches between the ropes and tries to grab Jack by the hair, but Jack spins and ROCKS him with a European uppercut, then grabs the man, drags him out of the ring and drops him off the apron into a Tiger Driver '99!

Russ: GOOD GAWD THAT MAN IS DEAD!
Razz: Holy hell, he might be!
Russ: We just hit the forty minute mark, I cannot imagine Jack making it twenty more minutes.
Razz: Well, he's down to six on one now

As soon as Jack gets to his feet, one of them comes in and OBLITERATES him with a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! He throws Jack into the ring and does the arrogant one-foot Jericho cover, the referee gets to two and one of the other men shoves him off of Jack. The two begin to argue, then brawl! Outside the ring Quick is apoplectic with rage. The two men fight to the back before security breaks it up and presumably escorts them out of the building and back to whatever sewer they crawled out of.

It's still four on one though, and Jack is bleeding badly, and the lunatics have just pulled out a barbed wire board. Jack tries to fight, but one holds him and another brings a chair down on his head. Jack goes limp, and the four remaining men each grab a limb, lift Jack into the air and drop him right in the middle of the barbed wire board. Jack howls in agony and tries to escape the barbs, but the men repeatedly kick him keeping him stuck in the barbed wire. Once again Jack is forced to fight to the ropes and the referee intervenes.

Jack Quinn has used his second rope break.

While the four once again argue, and Katie and PORK keep "accidentally" tripping the other two thugs as they try to get to their feet, Jack frees himself from the wire and falls to the floor in pain. The camera pans in and we see Jack's back has been sliced open in several places. Inside the ring, one of Quick's thugs looks at Jack, then looks in one of the cans and laughs. He pulls out a huge jug of lemon juice. He leaves the ring and the crowd starts to boo knowing what is coming. He makes a big show of taking the cap off the jug, then pours the contents all across Jack's back. Jack jumps to his feet and howls in pain, but something changes. Jack gets a crazed look on his face, he reaches into his boot and grabs his scalpel, turns and slashes the man across the chest, leaving an instant slice. As the blood begins to run down the mans chest, he howls in pain and comes after Jack, Jack stops him cold with a legit punch between the eyes, then DROPS him with a DDT right on the concrete floor.

Russ: GOOD GAWD! I HAVEN'T SEEN A DDT THAT SICK SINCE JAKE DID IT TO STEAMBOAT!
Razz: I do believe Quick may be down one more thug!

The three remaining men come after Jack, but Jack is able to out run them, he slips and slides in and out of the ring. As Jack is running, the guy handcuffed to the ring post tries to kick him, Jack avoids the kick, then gives the man a free trip to dick kick city, he convulses with pain, but the distraction allows the other two to get to Jack and beat him down on the outside. They lift Jack and powerbomb him through the OOWF Announce Table. They grab Jack and throw him into the ring, one of the men stops and sneers at Razz, giving him a shove. As he turns to walk away, Razz grabs him in the RAZZMISSION! Razz pulls him to the floor and chokes the man out!

Russ: Guess the ref didn't see that, and I damn sure ain't gonna tell him! Two on one!

The two men beat the snot out of Jack, and Jack can barely stand. One tries to whip Jack into a table, but Jack stops short of the table, the guy charges in and tries a spear, but Jack moves and he goes through the table and into the ringpost. Jack can't even get to his feet before the last man is on him, hammering him with punches and kicks. He pulls out a bag of broken glass and dumps it all over the ring, then grabs Jack for a powerbomb, but Jack reverses it into the triangle choke! The man drives Jack down into the glass, Jack howls in pain, but manages to hold on. As Jack squeezes tighter he begins hammering the man in the face with open fist strikes, finally the man passes out, just as the guy who recently went into the ring post gets to his feet.

At the top of the ramp we see the timer says five minutes left. Quick and his crew head down the ramp, and PORK and Katie jump them and they brawl. Quick and Angie break free and head toward the ring. Inside the ring, Jack struggles out of the glass, while the final guy staggers around the ring, likely concussed from the ringpost. He grabs a chair and swings wildly, just barely missing the referee, Jack grabs him and hits a STROKE, driving the man's face right into the glass! He howls in pain and rolls out of the ring to the floor!

Angie slides into the ring and BLASTS Jack with a superkick. The two henchmen that PORK and Katie had been keeping down slip into the ring and they beat on Jack some more. From the outside Katie grabs Delpetro (which is legal since she isn't officially in the match) and she blisters her with a kendo stick, chasing her up the ramp to the back before coming back and joining PORK. Inside the ring, the two henchmen hold Jack while Quick steps into the ring. Quick slaps Jack across the face, then spits in his face. Quick has the men hold Jack while Quick takes off his belt. He wraps it around his fist and blasts Jack in the face with it, then grabs him in a side headlock and gets off repeated shots to Jack's skull. They hold Jack, who falls to his knees. Quick grabs the mic

Q: Give up Jackie. Give up or so help me …

Jack spits a mouth full of blood at Quick, further bloodying his shirt. Quick takes a step back, then kicks Jack right in the face. He goes limp and Quick takes the belt and whips the ever loving shit out of him. Finally, he grabs Jack and lifts him in the air before bringing him straight down, into the pile of glass, with a BRAINBUSTER! Jack doesn't move. Quick rolls him over and makes the arrogant cover, one … two … three

Quick gets up and celebrates, but the referee immediately waves it off, the camera pans over and we see Jack's foot on the bottom rope!

Jack Quinn has used his third and final rope break.

Quick is OUTRAGED! He turns to order a further attack, and we hear the bell ring, the time has expired!

WINNER in 60:00 - Jack Quinn

Russ: BAH GAWD HE DID IT!
Razz: I cannot believe it

The second the bell rings PORK and Katie are in the ring, Quick shoves the two remaining goons toward them and they take an ass kicking while Quick bails out of the ring. Once WAR PIGS dispatch of them, they check on Jack. They try to help him up, but we see Jack slowly push himself to one knee, his hair hanging down over his face as blood drips to the mat. He slowly stands up and as he flips his hair back, he glares at Quick with a maniacal stare, and we hear Jack say "you're mine.”

Quick looks like he's seen a ghost as he slowly backs up the ramp to the back. PORK and Katie help Jack up the ramp to the back as he gets a huge ovation from the crowd.

• OOWF World Championship: Lexie Darling (c) vs. Rory Thomas
“Dream On” plays with Rory racing down to ringside, energized by a mostly positive response, the decisive underdog manages to get most fans to sing along with the chorus while bounding off the ropes to get stretched out. “Radioactive” then starts with Lexie, proudly holding the title, walking down the ramp. She smiles at well-wishing fans before taking to the top rope to hold the belt high for all to see. Lexie drops down into the ring and begins loosening her wrists while staring down Rory.

Russ: “Lexie Darling and a challenger that seems like he came from a storybook.”
Razz: “He asked for this match a while back. Lexie gave it to him. Rory got jumped by Alex Darling, then Rory BEAT Alex as Alex was playing gatekeeper to the world title. Rory did what he had to do to get here tonight.”

Lexie hands over the title to Davis Hightower, who shows the goods to Rory and then calls for the start of the match as Rory tries to catch Lexie off-guard with a double-leg takedown that Lexie easily steps away from. Rory tries again and gets brushed aside. Lexie, while taking Rory seriously, seems to be aware of her in-ring superiority as everything Rory tries is easily sidestepped or countered, frustrating the youngster. Lexie easily grapples Rory to the mat, breaking without even needing to and causing him to pound the mat in frustration.

Russ: “This might be Rory’s, ‘Welcome to the big leagues’ moment.”
Razz: “Getting to this match shows that he deserves to be here. He’s already big-league.”

Rory tries a Hurricanrana, but Lexie blocks and tries to turn him into position for a Boston Crab that gets nowhere as Rory scrambles for the ropes. Rory leaps back into action with a springboard clothesline, but gets small-packaged for 2 when attempting a cover. Rory uses his size to his advantage, catching Lexie in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before ramming her back into the corner. Lexie fights him off lands a swinging DDT. Lexie then begins working on Rory’s knee, driving her boot into it before a series of leg whips. A half-crab is broken as Rory reaches the ropes. With Lexie approaching a just-standing Rory, the rookie backdrops the champion onto the apron and elbows her off before following with a suicide dive. The two battle on the outside as again, a DDT from Lexie stems the tide to her favor. Lexie rolls Rory back in and starts to work the knee again, but Rory cinches in a Koji Klutch that gets reversed into a horse collar. Rory gets the ropes again, only for Lexie to drag him to the middle of the ring, which backfires when Rory gets an inside cradle for 2. Lexie boots Rory in the face for his troubles and then grinds her boot into his face. Rory, now irate, pops up as the two fight to the corner with both going to the top. A top-rope hurricanrana by Rory is blocked and becomes an avalanche power bomb. Lexie covers and gets 2.5. Rory levels Lexie with a forearm, but the champ pops back up and asks for another. Rory obliges as Lexie shakes it off and demands one more. Rory does so again, this time with a Lexie scream and an uppercut in response. Rory kicks out at 1 and starts a modest comeback with a German Suplex and a big boot that gets 2. Lexie wrecks Rory with a Polish Hammer and then wraps Rory into a Darling Clutch. Rory can only hold out for so long before tapping out.

Your winner (submission, 10:56) and STILL OOWF World Champion, Lexie Darling!

Afterward, Lexie helps Rory to his feet and eggs the crowd on in their applause of his effort. Lexie nods and notes that he’s not that far away, but that she is still the champion. Rory, while disappointed, salutes the fans and shakes Lexie’s hand as the feed cuts out.

OOWF Saturday Slam: Double-Crossover – July 30, 2023 – Day 2
OOWF Arena – Asheville, North Carolina 

• Sean Franklin vs. Adam Cole
As the bell rings, Sean and Adam circle each other before locking up. Sean is eager to show off his grappling expertise, but Adam has a counter for every move – this isn’t his first rodeo – and eventually slows down Sean with a backstabber.

Feeling the momentum, Adam goes to the top rope. As he comes flying from the top turnbuckle, however, Sean catches him, pausing for a bit before dropping Cole for a backbreaker.

Now it is Sean’s turn to control the match, and he makes a determined effort with a series of grapples, holds, and submission attempts to work Cole’s right leg. BRICK~! urges him on from ringside, as it is clear this was part of a predetermined strategy. However, Sean sets up for a suplex at one point, but Cole is able to counter with an elbow to the head, followed by a DDT.

As Sean tries to regain his footing, Cole rushes in with a bicycle kick that connects with such force and resonates throughout the arena that even BRICK~! has to look away. Cole, feeling the effects of the kick himself, buys some time by unceremoniously dumping Sean through the ropes, and we see Sean is busted open as he tries to collect himself.

While the medical staff checks in on Sean before he waves them off, BRICK~! goes nose-to-nose with Cole to stick up for his client. This distraction buys Franklin an opportunity to rush behind Cole and clobber him with an unsighted forearm.

Sean proceeds to toss Cole into the ring post, busting him open as well. He follows with a powerbomb to the ring apron, then drags Cole into the ring. He follows with a release German suplex, cover, one, two, NO! Cole kicks out.

At this point, BRICK~! stands on the ring apron and offers some kind of signal to Sean, who nods in agreement. Just as Junior Hale goes over to admonish BRICK~! for climbing onto the apron, Sean pulls Cole to his feet once again and shoots Cole into the corner, pancaking Hale in the process.

Cole is woozy from the impact, while Hale is out cold, slumped in the corner. BRICK~! rushes to the next closest corner of the ring and exposes the protective covering for the top turnbuckle. Sean again pulls up Cole by the tights, but it’s much more of a struggle this time with a lot of dead weight. Sean sets up for the Full Nelson Slam, but Cole reflexively stops him with an inverted DDT.

That almost does more to annoy Sean than slow him down, as he can sense the metaphorical blood in the water while wiping the literal blood from his forehead. Before Cole can get back to his feet, Sean is standing over him, unloading with a series of closed fists and shouting at him to give up. Again, Sean pulls Cole to his feet, ready to shoot Cole into the exposed turnbuckle, but Cole counters and now it is Sean headed into the corner.

BRICK~!, in a moment of sheer panic, darts between the ropes hoping to cushion the impact with the exposed turnbuckle. This has the opposite intended effect, as the two collide with a sickening thud and Sean drops to the mat. Sean slowly tries to get back to his feet, but Cole drops him again with The Boom. Just as Cole goes for the cover, Angelo Barros rushes into the ring, one, two, THREE!

Your winner, (18:46; pinfall), Adam Cole!

BRICK~! looks on in shock, fully aware of how his decision played into this outcome. Adam Cole’s music plays, but he makes a hasty exit up the ramp after having his arm raised in victory, fully aware that the upstart gave him everything he could handle.

• The Woodsmen vs. FTR
With Cash and Dax already standing in the ring, “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” brings out the OOWF Tag Team Champions, The Woodsmen. As Dakota plays to the crowd, Hunter produces a Swiss Army microphone from his pocket and motions for the music to fade.

Hunter: “Gentleman Cash and Gentleman Dax. When we, The Woodsmen, found out that we were going to oppose you in a bout matching tag champions from different companies, we were both excited and then confused. You see, our great fans know what The Woodsmen stand for, but few know what FTR stands for. Dakota and I must have watched at least two FTR matches and maybe an interview to seek that answer, but to na avail. I would suggest not consulting the site Urban Dictionary to seek any answer, so we did not inquire on that particular page. When all seemed to be lost, Dakota had a ‘by Jove!’ moment, FTR is whatever the people want it to mean. Since we, The Woodsmen, are people, we have determined that FTR stands for ‘For the Rabbits.’ As fellow nature enthusiasts, we salute your quest to ensure a better life for all rabbits. In such, we request a hearty handshake among gentlemen before we begin our bout. What say you?”

Hunter folds his Swiss Army microphone back up and places it in his pocket as The Woodsmen enter the ring. FTR, with incredulous expressions, size up Hunter and Dakota as they gleefully extend their hands for a handshake. Cash and Dax grab the hands of Hunter and Dakota, respectively, shake them and pull both into ripcord clotheslines that The Woodsmen deftly duck and reply in unison with back body drops, which send Cash and Dax scrambling from the ring. The Woodsmen gesture to the crowd as FTR collect their wits with Ben Coleman calling for the bell. Cash and Hunter start for their teams as Cash wins a shoving match before the two exchange headlocks. Cash sends Hunter to the deck with a shoulder tackle before taunting Hunter by stepping on an imaginary rock. Dax tags in, as does Dakota, as Dax grabs a headlock. Dakota works out of the headlock and gets one of his own before Dax uses the hair to yank Dakota down. Dakota kips up and wrestles Dax to the mat as the two trade reversals en route to a standoff. Hunter tags in and slugs it out with Dax, but a left hook by Dax outs Hunter down as Cash works his way around the ring and coldcocks Dakota before scampering into the ring with Dakota in pursuit. All four men exchange punches before stereo dropkicks from The Woodsmen clear FTR out for a moment.

Russ: “I know we don’t view The Woodsmen as serious wrestlers, but they’re not giving an inch to FTR!”
Razz: “When OOWF pride is on the line, that brings the best from everyone in that locker room.”

Back in the ring, Hunter and Cash engage in a hockey-style fight, but a blind tag from Dax allows him to pull Hunter into a standing armbar that becomes a crucifix pin which gets 2. Hunter hits Dax with a DDT, but doesn’t cover as Cash steps between the ropes. Dax recovers and blasts Hunter with a series of hammer fists, leading to a slick series of FTR double-team attacks. Hunter fights his way out of FTR’s corner and even cradles Dax for 2. Cash clips Hunter’s knee while Dax bumps Dakota off of the apron. Cash locks Hunter in a figure four while sitting close enough to the ropes to make them of use when Coleman is checking for a submission from Hunter, who manages to turn the figure four as Cash easily grabs the ropes in sight of Coleman at the reversal. While both men return to a vertical base, Dax rushes in with a superkick for Hunter that gets Cash by mistake. Dakota rushes in as The Woodsmen set Cash up for a Hart Attack that gets 2.5 before Dax saves. Cash has the wherewithal to roll up Hunter, but Coleman waves off the attempt with full view of Cash grabbing Hunter’s shorts. Meanwhile, Dax posts Dakota just as Cash clips Hunter’s knee again. Hunter battles through with a series of rollups, but can’t keep weight on his injured leg, but Dakota wins a slugfest with Dax and urges Hunter to make the tag. Hunter battles past Cash to make the tag as Dakota comes in with both barrels blazing, running through Cash three times before clotheslining Dax over the top just as he reentered the ring. Hunter then pulls out a red pop-up tent from The Woodsmen’s corner and sets it up in the middle of the ring before throwing Cash inside.

Russ: “We don’t know what goes on in the Tapout Tent, but it usually means a victory for The Woodsmen.”
Razz: “It’s genius! If you don’t have Dakota’s submission technique scouted, you can’t prepare!”

Dakota enters the tent, zips the entrance as what appears to be a wild brawl ensues inside. An arm, presumably belonging to Cash rips through the tent and starts to grab the nearby canvas before slapping the mat.

Your winners (submission, 20:05), The Woodsmen!

Afterward, Hunter and Dakota celebrate with FTR waiting to offer their respect. The four shake hands and raise each other’s arms in a salute to the fans.

• Alexander Darling vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman
“Better Than You” plays as Maxwell strolls out to a positive response, given his recent actions in his own company. “King of the World” then plays out Alexander, who gets a semi-positive response by proxy of company loyalty of the fans in Asheville. After Mel Creech calls for the bell, Maxwell tries for a headlock takedown a few times, but is unable to get Alexander off of his feet. They trade hip-toss attempts and Alexander gets a springboard takedown before a double knucklelock and bridge for 2. Maxwell and Alexander trade pinfall attempts for 2 and battle to a stalemate, but Maxwell smacks Alexander down, but Alexander, with a snarl, pops up and returns the favor to Maxwell before mocking Maxwell with an over-exaggerated strut on the outside. Maxwell stems the tide with a tope suicida , but Alexander is able to reverse just enough of the dive to hit a DDT on the outside mats.

Alexander goes to work on the back and drops an elbow for two, and a backbreaker gets 2. Maxwell whips him into the corner and continues on the back with a backbreaker of his own. Maxwell and Alexander fight to the top with Alexander trying a stunner from the top, but Maxwell shoves Alexander off, drops to the middle rope and misses a knee drop. Alexander begins to work the knee with gusto, stomping away and then wrapping Maxwell in a spinning toe hold. Alexander softens the knee with a series of elbow drops and then signals for the Darling Money Clip. As Alexander wraps Maxwell’s legs, he is caught in a small package that gets 2. Alexander stomps his way through Maxwell, but is caught and taken down as Maxwell floats from the ankle pick to a La Bell Lock. After about 30 seconds of struggling, Alexander is able to reach the bottom rope to get the break. Maxwell does a double stomp on Alexander’s arm and tries the armbar, but Alexander takes out the knee again and gets a figure-four this time. Maxwell reverses it and Alexander makes the ropes as they both retreat to the apron. They slug it out and Maxwell hits a tombstone on the apron. Alexander, while woozy, beats the count and pulls Maxwell in with a cradle for 2, and follows with a backslide for 2. A small package from Alexander gets 2, but Maxwell reverses for 2 and they roll around the ring each getting multiple counts of 2.

As the two are separated and catching their air, Maxwell pulls out the Dynamite Diamond Ring and places it on his pinkie, right in the sight of Creech, who admonishes Maxwell and threatens disqualification. As Maxwell protests, Alexander charges in with a flying forearm, sending the ring and Creech to the mat and Maxwell to the corner. With Creech down, both men glance at the ring, then each other, then make a dash for it, both getting to the jewelry at the same time. Alexander wins the battle with a Greco-Roman low blow and places the ring on his hand. Maxwell gets to his feet, but catches sight of Creech starting to come to and immediately drops to the mat, feigning unconsciousness and even cutting himself for effect. Alexander, realizing the ruse, quickly disposes of the ring before grabbing Maxwell by the head as Creech gets vertical. Just out of Creech’s view, Maxwell drills Alexander with a low blow, pulls him into an cradle and gets 3 while Creech is still shaking the cobwebs.

Your winner (pinfall, 13:23), Maxwell Jacob Friedman!

Afterward, Alexander charges Maxwell, who rolls out of the ring and retrieves his Dynamite Diamond Ring. Alexander slowly tries to center his composure before losing his cool and kicking the bottom rope and giving chase to Maxwell, who exits the arena in a hurry.

• Jack Quinn and Shokan Dojo vs. Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta)
While the video package building to the match plays, the feed cuts to the back where all six are brawling backstage as PORK and Katie hammer away at Claudio and Wheeler, while Jack and Jon exchange blows. As match official Davis Hightower makes his way to the back, a split-screen decree from interim general manager Shizuru-Mune Mangyuniku-Cox to turn the match into a falls-count-anywhere fight, much to the delight of the fans in attendance. Jon sends Jack into the Zamboni gate while PORK misses a clothesline on Wheeler and nails Katie by mistake. Claudio and Wheeler take advantage of the War Pigs’ miscommunication while Jon pulls out a fork and gouges a piece of Jack’s forehead with the utensil. With Jack bleeding, Jon starts to work the cut with punches and his fingers, yelling taunts until the look in Jack’s eye changes.

Russ: “I think Mox just unlocked a part of Jack Quinn that he’ll regret later.”
Razz: “Jack Quinn might regret this, too. Moosehead Jack, however …”

Jack turns the tide on Jon, blasting him with a nearby kendo stick and keeping the beating going with stomps and belt lashes. PORK and Katie run through Wheeler with a double clothesline, giving the same to Claudio. PORK splashes Claudio and gets 2, while Katie hits an Oklahoma Stampede on Wheeler to also get 2. Jack leaves Jon in a heap to join his charges, handing Katie a kendo stick and urging PORK to just use himself as a weapon. Katie and PORK operate as instructed with Katie wearing Wheeler out with the kendo stick as PORK repeatedly crushes Claudio against the wall before Jon charges in with a chair to clean house and give his BBC mates a breather. Jon DDTs Katie on the chair, getting 2.5 before PORK saves. Jack is seen clawing away at Wheeler’s eyes before Claudio shifts the numbers advantage. Claudio signals for the giant swing on Jack, grabbing his legs, but PORK saves again – this time with a clothesline. All six stand off and then begin brawling again with no clear advantage in the fisticuffs as the pairs switch off to the final form of Katie vs. Jon, PORK vs. Wheeler and Jack vs. Claudio with Shokan Dojo finally starting to land the bulk of the blows, all three hitting simultaneous wind-up haymakers to floor the Blackpool Combat Club.

Just as Jack catches his air, he is pummeled from behind by Liam and Nigel, while “King” Pete Quick and Angie Delpetro assault Katie and PORK. The Royal Guard hoist Jack in the air, delivering a double choke slam into a stack of pallets while Angie and Pete choke out their targets with utility cables.

Russ: “Why are they here? They have no business being here!”
Razz: “It’s falls count anywhere and no-disqualification, Pete Quick and his crew are just as legal as a headlock in this match.”

Pete, Angie and The Royal Guard send Shokan Dojo through the curtain and onto the entrance ramp to continue the beating in the ringside area. The BCC follows as Jon gets into a shoving match with Pete. Claudio and Wheeler take the fight to The Royal Guard while Angie stays at the top of the ramp. Eventually Pete, Liam and Nigel depart without further incident, but with PORK and Katie now busted open, the BCC are visually in the advantage. Shokan Dojo, having regrouped in the ring, waits on the Blackpool Combat Club to head toward the ring. With PORK standing in front, he touches his forehead and checks his fingers to see blood. PORK’s expression changes to one of absolute rage as he dashes out of the ring and greets the BCC with clotheslines for Wheeler and Jon while running through Claudio. PORK then tosses Wheeler into the crowd with an overhead suplex, stomps away at Jon and then power bombs Claudio on top of Jon. Katie and Jack join the fight in the aisle as Wheeler climbs over the barricade with a fresh cut on his forehead. Katie spears Claudio through another barricade, while Jack and Jon trade slaps. PORK, still enraged, throws Wheeler down the ramp and then into the ring. As Wheeler begs off PORK, Jon and Jack’s brawl follows as Katie disposes of Claudio.

Katie stands by PORK and Jack, but another attack from Pete, Angie and The Royal Guard as the quartet entered through the crowd puts down Shokan Dojo, Jon and Wheeler join the fight to switch the numbers advantage, again chasing off The Consortium. Claudio staggers to the ring, as the opponents stand off again while Pete shouts obscenities from a safe distance.

Russ: “These teams are not fond of each other, but both seem to have an issue with Pete Quick and his gang.”
Razz: “The Blackpool Combat Club wants to handle its own fights. It’s never wise to offer unsolicited help.”

Just as the six wrestlers are about to reengage, Liam and Nigel jump onto the apron, drawing the attention of Jon, Jack, Claudia and Katie as they give chase. With PORK and Wheeler left in the ring, Pete rolls in and clocks both with his scepter, knocking both men cold, but with PORK falling on Wheeler. Hightower counts 3.

Your winners (pinfall, 19:52), the team of Jack Quinn, PORK and Katie Bardoor!

Afterward, Pete puts the boots to both PORK and Wheeler before Jack, Katie, Jon and Claudio head to the ring to chase him off one more time. As PORK and Wheeler come to, All six combatants shake hands, except for Jack and Jon, mainly because of Jack’s refusal. Jon offers the wanking motion to Jack in reply while Katie and PORK do their best to settle a now furious Jack.

• Lexie Darling, Lindsay McAllister and Beverly Cambridge vs. The Outcasts (Ruby Soho, Saraya, Toni Storm)
The feed heads to the ring with The Outcasts standing inside, Saraya on crutches while Ruby and Toni look as if they were just in a fight. Saraya, with a microphone, motions for the crowd to quiet down before shrieking the command.

Saraya: “While we did not expect a warm welcome in this town filled with the dumbest of the dumb, we didn’t expect that approximately a dozen women in this city would attack us to make us unable to fight. It’s all because Lexie Darling, this company’s champion, is afraid of being exposed by a superior champion in AEW women’s champion Toni Storm. It’s because Lindsay McAllister can’t compete with Ruby Soho and Beverly Cambridge … Well, I’m sure you set this whole thing up so I wouldn’t embarrass you!”

“Radioactive” plays as Lexie, Lindsay and Beverly come out united and promptly marching to the ring. Lexie with a mic of her own gets right in Saraya’s face until Ruby and Toni step in.

Lexie: “So if we’re to believe you. You three were assaulted by fans? How many did you say? A dozen? An attack in public and not in a sanctioned fight. Surely, we would have heard about arrests and a police report would be available. Where exactly did this fight happen?”

Saraya: “It happened as we were getting our rental car! Some redneck at the counter just jumped over and started …”

Lexie: “Ooooooh. So you were renting your car at a business with surveillance footage? Clearly we can hand this over to the local police and help our guests get the justice that they deserve.”

Saraya: “This town’s police force is about as incompetent as they are incontinent!”

Beverly takes the mic from Lexie.

Beverly: “Saraya. Were you treated on scene or at a medical facility?”

Saraya: “On scene.”

Beverly: “OK. Those crutches. They just materialized?”

Saraya: “How else can I walk? Why does it matter?”

Beverly: “Earlier today, an Amazon delivery addressed to an ’S.Knight’ arrived at the arena. The box, a very long box, was placed outside of your team’s locker room. A person fitting your description can be seen sprinting down the hallway to check on the box. Given the severity of your injuries, it couldn’t have been you, correct?”

Beverly points to the OOWFTron to show footage of all three Outcasts meeting at Saraya’s locker room inspecting the contents of the alleged box, none looking like they were recently in a fight. As Lindsay, Beverly and Lexie watch the video, Saraya tosses Toni a crutch as The Outcasts slowly stalk their possible prey. Right as Toni and Saraya are within range of the crutches, the OOWFTron returns to a live feed, allowing the OOWF trio to see the possible attack. All three turn around in fighting stances with Saraya immediately dropping to the mat and clutching her knee. Lindsay rips the crutch from Toni’s grip and begins swinging as Toni and Ruby bail from the ring. Saraya, tries to ward off all three with her crutch until Lexie casually grabs it from her. Saraya’s knee suddenly heals as she rolls from the ring and joins her fellow Outcasts on the ramp. The AEW trio offers crude gestures to the nearby fans and exits as Masato Misawa rules the match a no-contest.

• Firewoman vs. Chris Jericho
“Judas” plays out Chris as some fans sing along, but most aren’t here to offer Chris adoration. Chris – with his bat, Floyd, in hand – milks the entrance for all its worth as his theme stops suddenly with the lights in the arena taking a yellowish-orange tint. As the camera cuts to the top of the ramp, the floor splits open as fire can be seen poking through to the surface. “Ring of Fire” plays as a platform raises from underneath the ramp, showing Firewoman standing in a chariot surrounded by fire. A gesture from Firewoman “parts the fire” as the chariot led by two horses takes Firewoman to the ring, where Jack Quinn, fresh from his fight earlier in the evening, sitting at ringside. As Firewoman steps off the chariot and removes her leather jacket, she nods and smiles at Jack, who returns the greeting and hands Firewoman a brand-new Happy Deth Bat – No. 5 in the lineage – with a custom color scheme to match her attire for the evening. Firewoman scales the ropes and soaks in the cheers, urging fans along in the chorus of “Ring of Fire” before stepping down and into the ring. Chris immediately goes nose-to-nose with Firewoman, smiling and softly pushing Firewoman away with a palm to the forehead, only drawing Firewoman’s ire and getting her right back in Chris’ face as the AEW veteran smiles and dismissively backs away.

Ring announcer Mike Elevenbee gives the big-match intros as Gavin “Junior” Hale checks both combatants for anything illegal and warns both about using their bats. The bell rings as Firewoman wants the fight right away, but Chris drops to the outside. Hale’s count goes to 8 before Chris rolls in … Just to roll back outside. Firewoman wants to give chase, but Jack instructs her to wait him out. Chris repeats the escape again until Firewoman sits cross-legged in the middle of the ring and waits on Chris to return. Thinking he has an opening, Chris approaches the seated Firewoman only to see her kip up and drill him in the hamstrings with alternating kicks from her left and right boots. Chris tries to take a powder, but Firewoman steps on Chris’ right hand and unceremoniously drags him inside before he rakes Firewoman’s eyes and scurries back outside with Firewoman in hot pursuit. Chris leads a chase around the ring, staying a step ahead until he slips on a cup of soda that was tossed at him during earlier stalls. With Chris grounded, he begs of Firewoman, who pays zero attention to the request as she stomps away until Hale’s count hits 8. Firewoman rolls in and rolls back out, but into an uppercut by Chris that seats her on the apron. Chris grabs a front facelock and cradles Firewoman as he picks her up, only to drop her spine-first on the apron. As Firewoman rolls into the ring, Chris follows with a massive grin on his face, shouting taunts based on the past that the two shared in and out of wrestling. Firewoman pulls herself up by the ropes, only for Chris to flatten her in the corner with a running attack. As Firewoman is slumped in the corner, Chris grabs her legs and pulls her to the middle of the ring, teasing the Lion Tamer, but shaking his head from side to side before stomping her torso. Chris then grabs a leg and begins stomping away on the hamstring before turning Firewoman into position for a half-crab submission that she easily escapes by mule-kicking Chris in the jaw with her free leg.

Russ: “Chris has a strategy. Take away the legs and take away Firewoman’s ability to fly.”
Razz: “All through this process, Jack told Fire that she could not quit or he’d stop training her. How insulting would it be if Chris Jericho made her submit as her brother is watching? I think THAT’S his strategy.”

Firewoman, now standing, dodges a jab from Chris before landing a few blows of her own. A one-legged dropkick hits Chris flush in the face, putting him on his back. Firewoman stays on the attack, dropping a knee on Chris’ throat and then going for a cover that gets 2. Firewoman keeps on the attack, booting Chris in the spine with multiple kicks and then a seated snap mare that gets 2. Chris rolls out of the ring again, right in front of Jack. Chris gets in Jack’s face and shoves him off of the chair, only for a fan seated in the front row to stand up and stare a hole through Chris, who backs away cautiously.

Razz: “That’s Lucas Mann! Stank! Firewoman’s husband! If Jericho thought he could mess with Jack Quinn, he didn’t know that Jack has back-up!”
Russ: “More importantly, Firewoman, has a big emotional boost!”

Stank steps over the barricade and begins shouting his support for Firewoman while helping Jack to his feet and also holding him back to prevent the disqualification. Chris returns to the ring and eats a series of stomps as Firewoman is determined to wear the tread of her boots out on his face. Chris manages to catch a boot, upend Firewoman and roll her up for 2. Chris goes back to the injured leg only to take a kick to the face. Firewoman stands herself in the corner and dodges a corner splash, grabbing Chris by the head and yanking him down with a sling blade. Chris tries to pop up, but Firewoman stays on him with a bulldog-like tenacity as she rains down elbows on his head. Firewoman heads to the top and hits a missile dropkick, getting 2, but Chris clips the knee. Firewoman replies with a stiff elbow, but cannot fight her way out of an attempted Texas Cloverleaf, grabbing the ropes just as Chris turned her over. Chris drags Firewoman to the middle and flips into a jackknife cradle that gets 2. Chris then signals for the Walls of Jericho, but can’t turn it all the way through as Firewoman boots her way to freedom and the apron. As Firewoman stands up, Chris barrels into the knee again, sending her into a heap on the outside. While on the floor, Firewoman tears off her kneepad and limps to the ring where she nails Chris with a big boot that gets 2 only because Firewoman couldn’t make an immediate pinfall attempt. Firewoman slugs Chris to the corner as the two fight to the top. With the two standing on the top turnbuckle, Chris tries a superplex to the outside before Firewoman shoves him off onto the announce table. Firewoman then looks down, positions herself and crashes down on Chris with a Firesault, breaking the table and maybe a few ribs as both wrestlers lay in a heap.

Firewoman is the first to be upright, but is caught by a spear from Chris that pushes her through the barricade. Chris then breaks the count and returns to the outside to lock Firewoman in the Walls of Jericho before pulling back to a full Lion Tamer on the outside, drawing screams from Firewoman as Chris yells, “TELL THEM THAT YOU QUIT, YOU QUITTER! TELL THEM THAT YOU QUIT!” Hale’s count gets to 8 before Chris breaks the hold and returns again to the outside. Firewoman crawls away from Chris, who winds up face to face with Stank, who pays Chris no mind as he checks on Firewoman. Firewoman indignantly brushes off Stank’s concern and crawls to the ring where she pulls herself to the apron and back into the ring. Chris follows with a few taunts for Firewoman, but gets a boot in the gut for his troubles. Chris stomps away at the wounded Firewoman and then runs to the ropes to deliver a Lionsault that catches Firewoman’s knees, hurting both, but seemingly giving an adrenaline boost to Firewoman, who pops up and hits a Really Good Diamond Cutter on Chris, before a standing Firesault, a springboard Firesault and finally the BEST FIRESAULT EVAR! combine to get 2.9. Chris barely with it lays on the mat as Firewoman looks toward Jack and Stank with a massive grin.

Razz: “What is she thinking? That grin from Firewoman usually leads to someone getting severely hurt.”
Russ: “If it’s what I think she’s thinking, she’s about to show the teacher what she’s learned.”

Firewoman grabs Chris’ legs and turns him over into a Boston Crab position, drawing immediate groans and screams.

Russ: “FIREWALL! FIREWALL! SHE IS GOING TO TRY TO BEAT CHRIS JERICHO AT HIS OWN GAME!”

As Firewoman clutches for dear life, Chris drags them toward the ropes only for Firewoman to use everything in her to pull things to the center. As Firewoman increases the torque on Chris’ back, Chris taps out just before passing out.

Your winner (submission, 23:03), Firewoman!

Immediately after the bell is rung, Jack runs into the ring where Fire is celebrating. He spins her around to face him and the ring mic picks up the conversation.

FW: I did it!
JQ: I knew you could.
FW: Thanks, Jackie… I love you, big brother.

There’s a pause, and Firewoman throws her arms around her brother in a big hug. Jack is momentarily surprised and returns the hug as the crowd cheers the siblings.

The siblings are still hugging when there’s a change in Firewoman’s posture. Jack pulls back a bit and Fire slumps forward and then her head falls backward. Her eyes are closed and she appears to be unconscious. Jack eases her down to the mat and screams for the medical staff. They rush to the ring, watched closely by Lucas Mann, and begin to try to work on her, as the scene fades.