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OOWF Awards 2018 - Hall of Fame by Jack Quinn Sept 16, 2018 17:56:16 GMT -5 |
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PHWF Saturday Seizures #1 (07-28-2018) by snelson66 Jul 30, 2018 8:18:57 GMT -5 |
The OOWF
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Fire sort of hit on my idea. I think we could convert the IC belt to a more traditional workrate style belt and make the onslaught belt a hardcore/death match belt. I think it fits the current roster a lot better. Or just add a Death Match belt.
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DevSop Feb 25, 2009 22:48:53 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Nebraska DAVIN MORELAND vs. DAMON WRATH The camera cuts back to the ring, and the final strains of “The Mirror” are heard as Damon Wrath stands ready; already in the ring. Uh oh. Fall River’s Own Angelo Barros is resting against the ropes. “Notorious” fires up, and the crowd turns into a “Boo” machine as Davin Moreland and Samantha Darling appear at the top of the ramp. They wait out the ostentatious pyro and then some at the top of the ramp. Nash: This entrance might take longer than the match. Russ: How can you say that? Damon Wrath is in the Heroes Guild, and has the power of truth, light and justice on his side! Nash: You can’t be fucking serious right now. Razz: This should be off the chain! Nash: I really hate both of you. Davin makes his way into the ring and does the 4-corner pose, which gets shit on like normal. Satisfied, he makes his way back down to the mat, and nods to Barros. Barros calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Wrath charges in to Davin, but is met with a Lockup. Davin is controlling the situation, but Wrath manages to duck under and work into an Arm bar. Wait a second. Wrath steps back, and he tries for the LIGHTS OUT! The kick buzzes Davin’s hair as he ducks it; but Davin is on top of things, and quickly moves in for a GERMAN SUPLEX! He hangs on…why not ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX?!? He continues to hang on, and this time hits the RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! The crowd is already booing at the tribute, so of course Davin takes it a step too far and does the Benoit Throat slash. Jerk. Davin goes over to Wrath, pulls him out and whips him into the corner. Davin charges in behind him and hits a HUGE SPLASH! Wrath stumbles out of the corner. Davin quickly hits the near ropes…REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! That’s it. Davin covers…1…2…Davin pulls Wrath up. Asshole. Davin makes a gesture to the crowd…was that for a? Davin hooks Wrath in…CANADIAN DESTROYER! We miss ya, Petey. Davin dusts his hands off and admires his handiwork. He’s got a huge smile on his face as he grabs Wrath’s legs, and locks on the SHARPSHOOTER! Wrath regains consciousness just long enough to tap out. WINNER by SUBMISSION in 2:47…Davin Moreland! Post-match, Davin locks the dead Damon Wrath in a Surfboard hold, and gives him the DEA MOTHERFUCKIN’ CURBSTOMP! The rest of the Heroes Guild comes flying down the ramp. Davin picks up Damon Wrath like a sack of potatoes and HEAVES him at the Heroes Guild, knocking them all down. Samantha joins Davin as they sprint up the ramp to a rousing chorus of boos. ERIC O’MAC & THIM REYNOLDS vs. TYSON KINCAID & TYTAN EOM and Kincaid start things off, with TK gaining the upper hand via a headlock takeover. Eric fights up and tries a belly to back suplex, but Tyson holds on, and brings him back forward with another takeover. Eric finally just goes to the ropes to break the easy way. They lock back up, and this time Eric grabs the headlock, but before he can do anything with it, Kincaid rams him to a neutral corner, then takes him down with a belly to back suplex. Eric grabs his head and is pissed and opts to tag out. Here comes Thim and he goes right at Kincaid, kicking back to the corner. Reynolds works him in the corner, but Kincaid turns it around and gets some shots in. Thim shoves him off, but Kincaid ducks a charge, and rolls away to tag. Tytan's in and Thim charges at him, but Tytan with a shoulder block. To the ropes, but Thim catches the boot, spins him around, but Tytan clotheslines him down instead. Leg drop to the back of the head and a half crab. Reynolds twists out of that before he can cinch it in, and Tytan holds on and tags back to Kincaid. Tyson slingshots in with a leg drop. Cover gets a quick two. Swinging neck breaker, but Thim swats a standing dropkick away and drags Tyson back to the corner. Tag to Eric, and EOM kicks him down. Hip toss to an arm bar and when Kincaid fights up, Eric grabs the hair and takes him back down to a cross arm breaker. TK gets the ropes and Eric drags him back to the middle of the ring. Soccer kick sends TK back to the wrong corner, and Thim tags back in. TR drives his knee to Kincaid's back repeatedly, then hooks an STF for the hell of it, as Kincaid's already in the ropes. Inverted DDT and tag back to Eric. EOM pulls Kincaid up and measures him for a super kick, takes time to taunt some fans, then tags right back out. TR chokes Kincaid out on the middle rope, but misses when he tries to jump on him. However, Eric's right there to tag in and stops Kincaid from tagging in Tytan. Eric pulls him away by his leg, and Tyson fights up to one foot... but misses the enziguri, and Eric German suplexes him out of his boots. EOM goes to the top looking for the MACK ATTACK~! But it hits nothing but canvas and it's HOT TAG TYTAN! Down goes Eric, down goes Thim, Eric gets dumped to the floor. Belly to belly suplex for Thim. Tytan with a running elbow drop, and a brain buster for Reynolds. Eric crawls up on the apron and gets a shot in, but a sunset flip doesn't work, and Tytan just sits on Eric. One, two, but Thim breaks that up. Reynolds wants a tiger suplex, but Tytan backs him to the corner... and Kincaid blind tags back in. Tytan with a jawbreaker on Reynolds, then power slams him down. Eric gets Tytan with an eye rake, and they slug it out. Kincaid goes to the top rope and lines up Reynolds, but as he does, Tytan runs to the ropes to get some momentum and that knocks Tyson off his perch, crotching him on the turnbuckle. Tytan charges at Eric, but EOM backdrops him him over the top in desperation. Thim staggers to his feet, goes to the corner and brings Kincaid down with a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER FROM THE TOP ROPE~! Ho. Lee. Shit. Thim covers and the three count is academic. WINNERS in 13:44: THIM REYNOLDS & ERIC O'MAC THE DEAD vs. FF CAPSLOCK “For those About to Rock” comes over the sound system, and FF Capslock comes out to a nice response. However, FF seems a little off on his way down the ramp. He climbs into the ring and has a far-away look in his eyes. “Doomsday Clock” starts up, and The Dead comes out to a really positive response. He gets to the ring pretty quickly and does some of the requisite posing. Should be an interesting mismatch of styles tonight. Referee Junior Hale checks on both combatants and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Both men are quickly into the lockup, and FF is able to shove Dead around pretty easily, and gets him into the corner. Hale calls for a break, and FF backs away with his hands up like he’s going to give one, but at the last second kicks Dead in the gut. RUNNING BACK ELBOW from FF. It worked so well, that FF delivers ANOTHER Running Back Elbow. FF takes a few steps back, and goes in for the trifecta; but Dead is able to duck and sidestep, and FF goes awkwardly into the turnbuckle. Dead channels Flair, and starts to DESRTOY FF with Chop after Chop after Chop (WHOO), until FF is on his knees. Dead kicks FF HARD in the jaw, and FF’s head smashes into the turnbuckle. Dead pulls FF up now and leans him in the corner. Dead snaps off a Hurricarana and quickly goes back to the top rope. He jumps off and hits a big SENTON BACKSPLASH and rebounds pretty hard off of FF. Dead does get back to cover, but by then can only get 2. Dead is to his feet and looks down. He grabs FF’s legs, and he’s trying for the DEATHLOCK. FF does get his wits about him a bit, and is able to kick Dead off. FF manages to get to his feet, and Dead does too, but not before FF blows him up with ANOTHER RUNNING BACK ELBOW. FF kinda falls down, but ends up in perfect position to start blasting away with punches to Dead’s face. Hale tries to break it up, but before he can, FF drops an elbow to the sternum. Hale separates FF for a second, but FF is quickly back in and bust out The Stomp. He’s stomping away at The Dead like it’s the deadliest move in the history of wrestling. Unfortunately, it’s pretty much just boring. FF finally tires of it, and covers; and gets a weak 2 count. FF pulls Dead up, and hits a LONG DELAYED BRAINBUSTAHHH. That looked like it hurt. FF covers, and gets a much longer 2 count this time. He pulls Dead up again, and this time WHIPS him to the far ropes. FF goes running in for yet another Running Back Elbow, but Dead hits the 2nd rope and comes off with a SICK SPRINGBOARD DDT! FF just gets destroyed by the move, and both men are down. Hale starts a count. Hale is up to 7, when Dead kips up and stumbles over to the corner, waiting for FF to get up. FF finally does, and doesn’t look like he knows where he is. Dead comes flying in to CLOSE THE CASKET, but instead FF grabs Dead’s leg and hits a DRAGON SCREW. FF really might have done some damage with that one, because Dead was yelling in pain on the way down. FF jogs to the near ropes, and drops an Elbow! He covers, and just gets 2. He drags Dead up, and WHIPS him all the way into the corner, and follows him in with a HUGE SPLASH. Dead’s on Queer Street. FF signals to the crowd and climbs up to the top rope. He pulls Dead up with him, and he’s looking for GREETINGS FROM WINNEMUCCA, but Dead regains his senses, and starts to fight with FF on the top turnbuckle. Dead ducks an elbow, and pushes FF off the turnbuckle. In the air, Dead NAILS HIM WITH A CLOSE THE CASKET! Nighty-night, FF Capslock. WINNER in 9:46 by PINFALL, The Dead! ALEXANDER DARLING vs. BRYCE LARSON Both men stare each other down as Hightower calls for the bell. Alexander extends his hand, but Bryce is apprehensive, thinks it might be a trap. Bryce slowly extends his hand, spitting in it right before he shakes. Alexander draws his hand back quickly, disgusted with Bryce’s spit in his hand. Alexander goes to rub it on his tights, but decides that they are too expensive and wipes it off on the top rope instead. Bryce gives him the “What?” look, so Alexander tells him “what”--and spits in his face! Bryce responds by pie-facing Alexander, who reacts with a punch to the nose. Hightower steps in, separating both men and telling them that they’re being paid to wrestle, so they should do just that. After trading a few deadly glares, both men lock-up and we’re finally underway! Bryce goes behind with a hammerlock, mirroring Alexander’s motions so he can’t reverse it. Alexander grabs around the back of Bryce’s head and leaps up, taking Bryce over with a snap mare. Bryce pops up and is met with a chop to the chest by Alexander! Bryce responds with a chop of his own. Chop by Alexander! Chop by Bryce! Chop by Alexander! Chop by Bryce! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! 100 chops thrown and both men refuse to back down! Alexander tenses all of his muscles as Bryce gives him the “give it to me” signal. Alexander comes off the ropes with a shoulder block that sends Bryce to the ropes, and he responds with a shoulder block of his own! Neither man will leave his feet! Alexander connects with another shoulder block, and Bryce repeats as well! The crowd is split, since they have grown to hate both men. This time Alexander signals for Bryce to “bring it on,” so Bryce hits the ropes. Alexander side steps, sending Bryce to the opposite ropes, and when Bryce comes back Alexander goes for a clothesline. Bryce ducks, rebounds and goes for a flying knee to the head. Alexander ducks, but Bryce lands on his feet and both men run the ropes again. Bryce and Alex then ry to clothesline each other, but get tangled and stay on their feet. Bryce uses the opportunity to take Alexander over with a backslide for a near-fall, but Alexander slides off to the right, hooking Bryce’s arm as they stand and catching him in a small package for two. Bryce kicks out and climbs to his feet, and Alexander immediately lifts him into position for a Death Valley Driver! Russ: Darling could hit the biggest move of the match thus far, right here! Razz: These two have provided non-stop action since the first lock-up! Bryce slides off, escaping possible defeat if Alexander were to connect. From behind, Bryce locks both of Alexander’s arms and attempts a Tiger Suplex. Alexander uses the momentum to float over, landing on his feet. Bryce doesn’t look back, instead immediately bouncing off the ropes and charging towards Alexander, who looks to connect with a clothesline. Bryce catches the arm, floats behind and locks in a Crucifix Roll-up! Hightower counts…1…2…NO! Darling pushes back through, grabbing Bryce’s head with one arm and his near leg with the other, tilting Bryce onto his shoulders for an amateur style Granby roll-up. 1…2…NO! Bryce rolls over his own head, coming out on top of Alexander. Bryce has both of Alexander’s arms trapped--exposing Alexander’s head and neck. Bryce raises his left arm straight in the air, and Hightower yells “NO!” Bryce rains down on the side of Alexander’s head with two elbows, and Hightower inexplicably steps in and waives the match off! Mike Goldberg: It’s ALLLLLLLLLLLL over! WINNER in 10:29 by REFEREE STOPPAGE: Bryce Larson Alexander is immediately on his feet, disputing the stoppage with the referee as Bryce is announced as the winner. We can hear Hightower argue back: “you couldn’t defend yourself, I had no choice!” Alexander disagrees: “I could have gotten my arm out, it wasn’t in that tight. You didn’t give me a fucking chance!” Bryce steps in to get involved, but Alexander--obviously not looking for any help--responds by pie-facing Bryce! This time it’s Bryce who spits in Alexander’s face, and both men have to be pulled apart. Suddenly we hear the voice of GM The Rick, who has appeared on the stage. GMTR: Gentlemen…gentlemen-- The Rick is stopped short as Eric O’Mac runs across the stage, and is greeted with a tremendous ovation from the crowd! Eric hits the ring and immediately gets in Alexander’s face. Bryce takes exception to Eric getting involved in this situation, stepping in between the two. Both Eric & Alexander push Bryce away and immediately start throwing punches at each other! Bryce jumps in, pulling them apart again. We can hear Bryce yelling at Eric ... "This is MY match, not yours!" Eric responds with "this isn't about you, just walk away, okay?" Bryce doesn't like that suggestion, telling Eric "no, you walk away and worry about Alexander when you're wrestling him!" Alexander takes this chance to charge at Eric, who pushes Bryce away again to start brawling with Alexander. Bryce, again, tries to break things up. Both Alexander and Eric push him away, and when Bryce gets pissed, Eric has had enough. Eric kicks Bryce in the gut, wraps him up and...PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! Eric rolls Bryce right into Alexander, and gets up in time to see Alexander take Bryce up for a suplex...BRAINBUSTER! Bryce Larson is LAYING~! dead (not The Dead) on the canvas with Alexander Darling standing over him. Eric smirks, pointing at Bryce, but not saying a word. The crowd fills it in for him with a roaring "HA!" Eric then slowly backs out of the ring, never taking his eyes off of Alexander as he heads to the back. Alex continues to stare down Eric the entire time as well. OOWF Invitational Semi-Finals[/u] STANK vs. CHRIS EVANS “The Trooper” fires up over the PA, and “Lionheart” Chris Evans makes his way down the ramp to a decidedly mixed reaction. Evans is a bit surprised, but seems to understand that some of this has to do with his opponent. He rolls into the ring and does some posing for a bit until his music runs out. Then “Skin” hits, and the crowd erupts as Stank appears at the top of the ramp, and waits out his pyro before making his way down; slapping hands with fans. He climbs into the ring and raises his arms to a huge ovation. Mel Creech has seen enough, and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! It’s a quick lockup, and the MUCH bigger Stank tries to shove Evans around; but Evans leverages himself well, and manages to lock in an Ode to Jericho, and quickly switches to a hammerlock. As required by law, Stank slaps his shoulder twice, and flips Evans over his shoulder. Stank gives him a look and gesture kind of like “you’re out of your league kid”. He allows Evans to get to his feet, and they lock up again. Predictably, Stank just shoves him into the corner. BIG SPLASH by Stank, and that’s followed by a DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX, the one-handed variety. Stank eschews a cover and pulls Evans up and lock him in. He gets Evans up and POWERBOMB, POWERBOMB, STANKBOMB! Stank sat out the last Power bomb, and stays there for the nonchalant cover. This one could be over already. One…Two…Thre…NO! Evans just rolled the shoulder as Creech was bringing his hand down. Stank is a bit surprised, but not shocked. He goes back to work and pulls Evans up, way up, and hits a TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Stank covers again, and can only get 2 again. Stank pulls Evans up, and whips him to the far ropes. Stank starts running, looking for a Big Clothesline, but Evans manages to duck it. Evans jumps to the ropes and looks for a Springboard Moonsault, but Stank catches him in midair on his shoulders. Stank has Evans in position for a STANK-U, but as Evans is sliding off, he manages to snap off a HURRICARANA. That was cool. Both men are down, and Creech decides he should probably count. Evans is actually up first at 5, and Stank starts to sit up. Evans sprints and hits an OLYMPIC STRIKE. He hits the near ropes and hits a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT and covers. Stank kicks out at 2 and rolls to his knees, trying to shake out the cobwebs. Evans takes a few steps backward and sprints again, hitting a BASEMENT DROPKICK which sends Stank through the ropes. Evans quickly hits the far ropes and sprints, takes off and lands a NO-HANDS PLANCHA on Stank as Evans goes right through the ropes. Evans tries his best to pull Stank up, and when he finally does; he whips him all the way into the STEEL STEPS! Evans hops up on the apron and hits a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP on Stank, who’s still on the steps. Stank is in a bad way. Evans jumps off the steps and hits an Elbow right to Stank’s temple. Evans takes a look down, and decides to roll back in the ring. Creech’s count is up to 6. At 8, it looks like Stank is moving; and it looks more and more like Evans is going to have the upset! At 9, Stank wobbles to his feet and DIVES under the ropes, just beating the count. Evans is on him with repeated kicks to the head before Stank can even get his bearings in the ring. Evans climbs the nearest turnbuckle, and hits the SPARTAN SPIRAL! Evans covers, and it might be OVER! 1, 2, NO! Stank just gets his foot on the ropes! Evans can’t believe it. He slaps the mat and gets to his feet. He goes to the top rope again. He tries the Spartan Spiral again, but Stank just rolls out of the way. Stank starts crawling away from Evans, and Evans crashed and burned hard after the one. This gives Stank a chance to get to the ropes, and pull himself up. Evans gets back up and sees Stank struggling to stand, so he sprints over. Stank tries to send Evans over and out to the floor, but Evans Skins the Cat! SLINGSHOT SHITTY BULLDOG on Stank! Evans covers again, and again Stank just does kick out. Evans is frustrated now as Stank rolls to his stomach. Evans looks down and gets an idea. He locks in a SINGLE-LEG BOSTON CRAB! Of course, it’s well established that this is one of the dumbest submission moves ever, and as soon as Stank catches his breath, he simply kicks Evans off with the free leg. Evans scrambles to his feet and runs back at Stank, who SPRINGS to his feet and NAILS Evans with a POWER SLAM. That stunned Evans, and Stank can’t do anything to capitalize. Evans is able to shake the cobwebs and actually get to his feet first. He charges Stank, and looks for another OLYMPIC STRIKE, but again, Stank gets to his feet in mid-move; and he’s able to get Evans on his shoulders for a STANK-U! He gets Evans up and Evans slides out the back door and ROLLS HIM UP! 1, 2…SMALL PACKAGE REVERSAL! 1, 2, 3! Stank Escapes! WINNER in 13:21 by PINFALL…Stank! MOOSEHEADJACK vs. SKURGE “Scarecrow” blasts through the arena as Moosehead Jack walks to the ring. He glares at the booing crowd as he enters the ring and slumps in the corner. The crowd rises in anticipation and erupts as Skurge steps onto the stage to the opening notes of “Bawitdaba”. Skurge pauses for a moment to acknowledge the crowd, then storms down the aisle. Jack pulls himself to his feet as Skurge dives into the ring. Without slowing, Skurge barrels across the ring and drives Jack back into the corner. Referee Junior Hale, sensing that this is as much control as he's going to get, calls for the bell. Skurge presses his attack, wailing away on Jack with fists and elbows and knees. Jack attempts to reverse an Irish whip, but Skurge pulls him back into a clothesline. Skurge stomps on Jack then hits the ropes and drives a knee into his temple. He makes a quick cover, but Jack kicks out at one. Skurge pulls Jack to his feet, snaps him over with a suplex, and covers again and gets two. Skurge mounts Jack grabs him by the hair and starts punching away until Junior threatens to disqualify him. Skurge backs off and Jack, face covered in blood, gets to his knees. Skurge grabs him for a DDT, but Jack delivers some short punches and reverses into a northern lights suplex. Jack doesn't bother to bridge and simply rolls over and starts throwing punches. Junior steps in as blood starts to flow from Skurge's head, and Jack stops long enough to snarl at him before he goes back to punching. In desperation, Skurge drives a knee into Jack's crotch, which is enough to topple him. Both men are slow to get to their feet, but Skurge is a little faster. He buries a knee into Jack's stomach and takes him over with a delayed vertical suplex. He scrapes Jack off the mat and sends him hard into the corner, following him in with a brutal clothesline. Jack stumbles out of the corner and Skurge scoops him up and drops him in the tree of woe. After getting in a few kicks, Skurge climbs the turnbuckles, plants a foot firmly in Jack's crotch, and places his hand over his heart. Skurge: “OH-CAN-A-DA!” Somewhere, Petey is smiling. Skurge notices Junior counting and jumps off the turnbuckles, stomping on Jack's face on the way down. He pulls Jack out of the corner and drags him to the middle of the ring. He drives an elbow into his throat and covers. Junior counts One...Two...Thr-Jack rolls a shoulder. Skurge looks a little frustrated, and pulls Jack to his feet, sending him to the ropes. Jack chooses to exercise the better part of valor and slides to the outside. Skurge hesitates, then builds up a head of steam and dives over the top – only to have Jack sidestep and send him head-first into the railing. Jack takes a moment to clear his head, then grabs Skurge and slams him into the ring steps. Jack attempts to flatten his head into the stairs with a stomp, but Skurge dodges it, getting in a shot to Jack's hamstring, then sweeping his free leg, forcing Jack into the splits. Skurge takes control, but Jack soon takes it back with a solid, blood-spraying head butt. Jack stuffs Skurge into the ring, slides in to break the count, and leaves again in search of toys. He decides to go old-school, and grabs a steel chair. He slides back into the ring, but Junior is right there to take the chair away. While Junior disposes of it, Skurge moves in and takes a swing. Jack sidesteps, traps the arm, Heart punch! Skurge's eyes roll back, but he doesn't go down. Jack struggles, then pulls his fist back, revealing that it's wrapped in barbed wire! By the look of Skurge's chest, it got stuck. ew. Junior turns around just in time to see Jack plant Skurge with a DDT and float over for the cover. Junior counts One...Two...Three. WINNER, in 16:33, Moosehead Jack. THE HEROES GUILD vs. ALEXIS DARLING, PHANTOS & LUCIOS - OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match Nayr is elected to start off for the Heroes Guild, while Phantos starts off for Run DEA. Both men lock-up, and both strain quite a bit until Phantos snaps off an arm drag. He keeps a hold of the arm lock, but Nayr kips up. Phantos goes behind, turning the arm lock into an arm wringer. Nayr manages to spin under the arm to reverse it. Phantos quickly rolls, kips up, and handsprings to reverse it. He doesn’t waste a second before spinning around and laying out Nayr with a short clothesline. Nayr is hauled up, Irish whip reversed and Nayr ducks a spinning leg lariat attempt, rebound and Nayr takes Phantos down with a tilt a whirl head scissors into an arm drag. Nayr hits the ropes, Phantos gets up, but Nayr gets a sunset flip- and Phantos rolls out of it, dropkicking Nayr in the jaw. Nayr looks out of it, he starts to get to his feet but Phantos connects with a second and then a third dropkick and it’s clear Phantos has the advantage. Tag in to Lucios, and Lucios brings his massive weight down on Nayr in an elbow drop as Phantos hits a leg drop. Phantos quickly gets to his feet and runs to the corner. He climbs to the top rope as Lucios limbers over- Flying Spike! Nayr is in trouble, as Lucios tags in Alexis. Alexis stalks Nayr, and it’s clear she’s looking for the Bitch Killer to put this one away early. She grabs the double under hook but Nayr shows some signs of life, squirming like crazy. Alexis puts Nayr down, only so that she can chop at him a bit. WOO, WOO, WOO! Alexis grabs Nayr and pulls him up for the brain buster, but Nayr slips out of it to land behind her. Alexis responds with some choice elbows. A dazed Nayr stumbles away, and Alexis runs the ropes and springboards with a moonsault. Nayr ducks out of the way, Alexis manages to land on her feet, but Nayr tags in Blitz, who hits a plancha from the top rope. Both Blitz and Alexis spring to their feet, and Blitz tries a lariat, which Alexis Matrixes under. She turns right into a super kick by Blitz which drops her. Standing corkscrew elbow drop by Blitz. Pin attempt gets a count of one and a half. Blitz hauls up Alexis and whips her to the ropes. He’s looking for a tilt a whirl backbreaker, but Alexis reverses it into an arm drag. Blitz gets up to take a kick to the gut- huge butterfly suplex, and Alexis rolls through for the pin attempt. One, two, and Blitz kicks out. Alexis spins Blitz over and applies the surfboard before hitting the Curb stomp. Since she’s a heel, the fans have some choice words for her hitting an offensive move, and she jaw jacks a bit with them before tagging Phantos. Alexis body slams Blitz, and Phantos leaps off the top rope with his patented Spiral Splash. Pin gets a one, two, two and a half and Blitz kicks out. Phantos gets up, and wastes maybe a moment thinking about his next move before heading to the top rope. He’s going for the Suicide Leg drop! But Blitz somehow finds the energy to roll out of the way. Phantos lands on his butt, and Blitz tags in Concrete. Phantos barely as time to get up before he is chopped right back down by Concrete. Lucios is in to help out, and he and Crete exchange some blows before Lucios swings a huge right hand. Crete ducks out of the way- boot to the backside of Lucios! This gets a huge pop from the crowd. Phantos is up and he gets an Impaler DDT! Pin, one, two, and Phantos barely kicks out. Crete gets up in time to be taken to the outside by a huge clothesline by Lucios. Lucios hauls up a groggy Phantos, but Phantos is apparently pretty alert, as an friendly Irish whip results in a press slam that hurls Phantos onto Crete. This draws in Nayr and Blitz, as referee Sterling Glaw tries vainly to order the legal men into the ring. Various strikes and blows from Nayr and Blitz have little effect, until Nayr goes low with a leg sweep and Blitz connects with a super kick that takes Lucios out. Blitz hits the ropes, Nayr grabs him in a wheelbarrow, Blitz seesaws up, and Nayr drops him in a splash on Lucios. Nayr scampers to the top rope, and Blitz holds down Lucios as Nayr leaps off the top with the Mordor Hangover! It connects, but as Nayr’s not the legal man, he can’t make the pin. Phantos rolls into the ring, and dropkicks Blitz to the mat, as Alexis charges in and hoists Nayr up... Air Raid Crash! Nayr might be dead. Alexis and Phantos turn around to be the unfortunate recipients of a top rope flying DDT from Crete! Crete wants the Backwall on Phantos. Up goes Phantos... down he goes and Concrete makes the pin. One, two, and Lucios makes the save. Crete gets to his feet- low blow by Alexis which the ref somehow missed. This gets a pretty fair amount of hostility from the crowd. As Crete collapses, Lucios locks on the Death grip! Crete and Lucios are not the legal men, but Glaw seems to have forgotten as he asks Crete if he wants to give up. Regardless, Crete isn’t tapping. Blitz is up... Shiner on Lucios! Lucios keels over. Alexis gets to her feet... look out Alexis, so has Nayr and he’s behind you! Nayr taps her on the shoulder, she spins around- Driver of a Thousand Truths! Meanwhile, Crete has placed Phantos near one of the corners as Blitz climbs to the top rope. Blitz Flip! Phantos was still out of it from the Back wall, and can’t tap out. WINNERS in 19:43 - The Heroes Guild MATTE vs. DH MAGNUSSON vs. SEAMUS MCNASTY - OOWF Onslaught Championship Match It’s time for one of our title matches tonight as Seamus McNasty looks to regain his recently lost Onslaught Championship. Standing in his way is the new champ Matte and his laissez faire attitude, but also recent hated rival DH Magnusson. Since DH’s return to the OOWF and subsequent joining of Run DEA, he has made it a priority to make Seamus McNasty’s life a living hell and he accomplished some of that goal recently when he was influential in Seamus’ loss of the title to Matte. But now that DH wants the belt for himself and Seamus wants it back, it will be a mighty stiff test for Matte to hold onto it. And we’re almost ready for action to start here as even as champion, Matte didn’t care when asked if he’d come out first for this match. His entrance by Nirvana kicks in and he makes his way down to the ring as he drags the belt behind him. Somewhere in the back Phantos & Lucios are having a fit. Matte nods to a few fans as he slides under the bottom rope and crawls into a corner and just takes a casual seat. Mel Creech comes over and takes the Onslaught Belt from where Matte dropped it and hands it off to the timekeeper. The next music we hear comes from the former champ and it’s The Dropkick Murphy’s. After a few moments of it playing, there is no sign of Seamus. The music ends and then DH Magnusson’s music begins to play. It looks like these two are trying to play head games with one another as DH Magnusson doesn’t appear after almost a full minute. Creech looks down at Matte and gets no response. There is a good chance that Matte has fallen asleep in the corner. Creech just shrugs and calls for the bell as he begins the 20 count. He gets to five when there is a flicker in the sound system and then there is some feedback coming across it. Then there’s a loud pop when all of a sudden DH Magnusson staggers out from the back and he’s already bleeding as Seamus McNasty stalks him with a microphone in hand. And SM smashes into DH’s scalp once again as he trips while backing away. Creech is to 9 when Seamus starts dragging Magnusson towards the ring. They’re about three-quarters of the way down to the ring as Mel Creech hits fourteen. Magnusson starts firing back now as he’s throwing elbows at McNasty. He follows it up by grabbing him by the hair and tossing him hard into the barricade. Creech is up to seventeen when Matte finally sees what’s going on outside the ring. He gets to his feet and starts bouncing on his feet just a little. He runs off the far ropes and then basically uses Creech, who just hit eighteen on his count, as a springboard as he does a twisting plancha over the top rope and takes out both Seamus and DH. Creech just throws his hands up and gives up on the count as he leans against the ropes and waits for the guys to get into the ring. Matte is the first to his feet and he drags Magnusson up as well. They start trading blows right in the aisle and it’s DH who gains the upper hand as he takes Matte over with a suplex right on the metal ramp. Just as Mags is about to get to his feet, Seamus is charging at him and slams him hard into the metal ring surroundings. Before McNasty is able to do anything else, Matte takes him out with a chop block from behind. DHM is shaking the cobwebs out and he starts pulling at the barricade and trying to break it apart from the next section. Matte comes over and starts to help him and they finally free the section. And as soon as the section is freed up, DH and Matte again start trading punches. This match has turned into a travesty of the Onslaught rules and Mel Creech isn’t doing a damn thing about it. No wonder there are rumors backstage about a revamping or just an abolition of this entire division. And I’m sure those rumblings will get even louder as Seamus McNasty takes a steel chair from a fan and smashes it across DH’s back. He’s about to do the same to Matte, but the crack to DH warned him and Matte ducks under the swing from SM and he comes back with a spinning leg lariat that knocks the chair right into McNasty’s face. Matte follows it up and he starts firing rights and lefts…all with a closed fist…to Seamus’ face and we can see as he brings his fists back, that they are dripping blood and SM is busted open obviously. DHM doesn’t allow Matte any moment to reflect in the blood as he charges at him and nails a beautiful shining wizard. DH starts to head down towards the ringside area and he begins to search under the ring but he can’t find anything of interest at first. He gets up and starts to walk around the ring when something catches his eye. He starts to turn back towards the timekeeper’s table when all of a sudden he sees a flash and Matte is using the ring steps as a springboard to jump at Mags. At the absolute last second, DH is able to grab the Onslaught Championship belt and use it to deflect Matte away from him. The belt connects squarely between Matte’s eyes and he falls to the floor in a lump. DH reaches down and he rolls Matte over and he grabs him and locks in the DRAGON SLEEPER on the floor. He’s got it really locked in and finally Mel Creech pays attention and he looks around the ringside area and sees that all three guys are now bleeding, that there are numerous weapons lying around. Creech realizes he has no choice and he calls for the bell. But no bell is being rung at the moment because Seamus McNasty has picked it up and he is coming up from behind DH Magnusson who has no idea that he’s coming. Seamus is right behind Magnusson and he takes the bell hammer and starts ringing the bell. I guess that’s the end of the match. And it’s the end of DH right now as the sound startles him into turning around and Seamus slams the bell right into his face. DH Magnusson finally lets go of Matte as the shot from Seamus connects. Matte rolls out of the way as Seamus mounts DH and starts clubbing him with shots. DH is bleeding badly and Seamus is showing no signs of letting up. Just as Matte recovers and is about to re-enter the fray, OOWF Security has finally scrambled out and is holding Matte back. A few more of the security staff is trying to pull McNasty off Magnusson. They finally succeed and bring him to the far side of the ring. The last few guys help DH to his feet, but none of them were expecting any burst from DH and they get caught with JERSEY HAMMER after JERSEY HAMMER. DH gets into the ring and is calling both Seamus and Matte in. Wow, someone actually did get in the ring. Matte and Seamus are trying to get in, but security is doing a better than usual job of holding them both back and also away from each other. Finally more security comes out and gets DH out of the ring and drags him through the crowd, while the rest of security leads Matte and Seamus McNasty off in separate directions as well. Your official result of this Onslaught Championship Math is a no-contest. But the unofficial result is these three are far from done with one another. THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. IHOP - OOWF World Tag Team Title Match IHOP, accompanied by the Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth, enter the arena first, to “Tie Me Kangaroo Down”? Both SYB and The Amnesiac are wearing bush hats, drinking Fosters and...yes, SYB is riding on a kangaroo. This will not end well. The reach ringside and SYB slides off the kangaroo, which promptly cuffs him in the back of the head. SYB turns around, but The Amnesiac steps in to keep his partner alive. IHOP climb into the ring and the Kangaroo is lead to the back as the crowd erupts and the OOWF World Tag Team Champions step onto the stage. The Team From Down Under stop to pet the kangaroo and OBJ exchanges a few punches with it before they head to the ring. The TFDU enter the ring and hand the belts to referee Angelo Barros. Gator heads to their corner and OBJ meets SYB in center ring. SYB downs his Fosters, crushes the can on his forehead, and lets out an extended belch. I think he was trying to say “All in fun, mate”, but from the look on Jack's face, that's not how it came out. Jack lets out a belch of his own and SYB turns and marches to his corner to tag a startled Amnesiac. With the frivolity out of the way, OBJ and The Amnesiac lock up. OBJ shoves him back, and The Amnesiac somersaults backwards, ending up on his feet. He hits the ropes and tries a super kick, but OBJ catches his leg. Amnesiac tries to turn it into an enzugiri, but OBJ catches the other leg as well, adjusts his grip, and plants Amnesiac with a wheelbarrow suplex. OBJ drops an elbow across his throat and hooks the leg, but The Amnesiac kicks out at one. Jack pulls Amnesiac to his feet and scoops him for a body slam, but Amnesiac wriggles free and drops behind him, rolling OBJ up for a one count. Amnesiac goes to the ropes again and hits a neck breaker as OBJ gets up. Amnesiac grabs OBJ in a front face lock and drags him to the IHOP corner so he can tag SYB. SYB hops to the second turnbuckle and drives a double axe handle into OBJ's back He takes over the face lock and transitions into a double under hook DDT, but OBJ backdrops out of it. The Amnesiac points to Wally B. King on the outside as OBJ pulls SYB to his feet. Barros looks at Wally, and SYB delivers the Jersey Turnpike, following up with a DDT that connects this time. SYB hooks the leg as Barros turns back to the action, but OBJ kicks out at two with enough authority to send SYB through the ropes to the floor. OBJ heads for his corner, but Amnesiac hits him from behind with a chop block. OBJ falls forward and just manages to make the tag. Gator comes in, and TTFDU send Amnesiac to the ropes and backdrop him out of the ring. Amnesiac grabs the top rope, however, and lands on the apron, spring boarding into a double clothesline that takes TTFDU down. Amnesiac sends Gator to the ropes, where SYB reaches in to trip him, then drags him to the outside. Amnesiac turns around and gets plastered by a clothesline from OBJ. OBJ slings The Amnesiac into the corner and hits a running knee to the stomach, following up with a snap suplex. Meanwhile, out on the floor, SYB kicks away at Gator before slinging him into the barricade. SYB gets a running start and tries an avalanche, but Gator catches him on his shoulder and backdrops him into the crowd. Gator looks back at the ring, but Barros is too busy with OBJ and The Amnesiac to count, so he turns back to SYB, just in time to be leveled by a diving clothesline. SYB rolls to his feet and hops onto the apron. He leaps off as Gator gets up and dropkicks him right in the face. SYB shoves Gator under the ropes and climbs onto the apron. Slingshot Senton Splash! The Amnesiac sees what SYB is up to, reverses an Irish whip, and clotheslines OBJ over the ropes to the floor. Barros sees SYB make the cover and counts One...Two...Thr-Gator kicks out! SYB drags Gator to his feet and over to the IHOP corner as The Amnesiac climbs onto the apron. The tag is made, and SYB wrings the arm as The Amnesiac climbs the turnbuckles and leaps, driving a knee into Gator's shoulder. IHOP sends Gator to the ropes and plant him with a flapjack. As The Amnesiac covers, SYB turns back to his corner and walks right into a kick and a DDT! OBJ drops an elbow on The Amnesiac to break the pin, then picks him up and plants him with a body slam. Gator rolls to his feet and TTFDU wait for The Amnesiac to get up. TTFDU head to opposite sides of the ring – CALL OF THE WILD! The Amnesiac does a full flip in the air before he lands, and Gator falls on him for the cover. OBJ tosses SYB out of the ring as Barros counts One...Two...Three! WINNERS, and still OOWF Tag Team Champions, in 14:32, The Team From Down Under. FIREWOMAN vs. CHRIS COLE - OOWF Intercontinental Title Match Music starts and out steps Chris Cole, stopping at the top of the ramp to once again show off his award winning air guitar work…He makes his way down to the ramp and test the ropes and begins to warm up… A huge explosion with several fire pods go off and “The Cult” blares out of the intercom…out steps Intercontinental Champion Firewoman and in tow follows one Alexander Darling…fire walks about 3 steps down the ramp and then runs the rest of the way down slides under the ropes and is up and punching Cole in the face..I guess this one is under way. Fire lands three quick jabs and slings Cole to the ropes, Cole rebounds and leap frogs over Fire, comes back off the other side and catches Fire with a sidewalk slam…Chris is up to his feet and whips at his lip..bends down to grab Fire but she meets him with a foot to the head, that staggers Cole back..Fire is up and both of them met in the middle of the ring, they lock up, Chris with a go behind and wrist lock…Fire twists and ducks behind for a reversal, Cole backs into the corner, ref starts his count to break the hold…1….2…..3…Fire breaks the hold, Cole steps forward and shakes his hand a little to bring back some feeling into his fingers…Fire charges out of the corner and Cole catches her with a drop toe hold , he floats over and grabs her head and applies the Cross-face Chickenwing…Fire fights it but Cole continues to apply pressure…Fire is too close to the ropes and she grabs hold, ref once again starts his count…1….2….3…Cole releases Fire and both get to their feet… Fire steps forward and chops Cole across the chest, he returns the favor and both trade chops until Fire has enough and kicks Cole in the knee…Cole goes down and Fire does a standing moonsault that catches Cole by surprise, she covers, 1…2…and Chris kicks out…Fire pulls Cole up and Irish whips his into the ropes, she catches him with a swinging DDT…and goes or the cover…1….2…. and Cole puts his foot on the bottom rope...Fire building steam grabs Cole to pull him up again but he breaks thru her attempt and grabs her for a quick belly to belly suplex out of nowhere…both wrestlers are down…ref starts his 10 count…1….2…..3….4 Alexander is pounding the mat and shouting for Fire to get up….5…6…7…Cole is to his knees…8 Fire kips up…Cole charges at her she leapfrogs him and he bounces to the ropes, Alexander grabs his feet, Chris goes nose first to the mat…ref sees it and goes to Alexander…yells for him to leave ring side…Alexander argues with ref but leaves the ringside area… Meanwhile Fire has had Cole in the Walls of Jericho…Cole is in pain…ref finally ask him if he wants to quit, he shakes his head no….Fire really has in locked in…Cole is fighting it….Oh he rolls thru and kicks her off… She jumps back up and catches Cole with a running clothesline that turns him inside out…Cole is down and Fire goes to the top turnbuckle…but Cole is up and follows her up…he goes for a super-plex but Fire blocks it…she starts hitting him in the side…1…2…3…good body blows and down goes Cole…Fire quickly hits a moonsault of the top rope…she covers…1….2…3 and your winner Firewoman. WINNER in 23:11 - Firewoman LD Williams vs Poe - OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH “Misera Cantare” blasts over the PA, and the crowd scrambles to their feet to cheer Poe, who is accompanied at the top of the ramp by the lovely Selena Gomez. The pyro goes off and they proceed down the ramp, and Selena is signing autographs and posing for pictures. They finally get in the ring, and Poe poses some before he shuffles Selena out of the ring. His music stops, and is quickly replaced by “Jekyll and Hyde”, and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion LD Williams stands at the top of the ramp. He gets a pretty pyro display and a quality ovation as he makes his way down. He climbs into the ring, and in his typical no-nonsense manner, simply hands the belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower, who hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDER… Davin Moreland: Excuse Davin Moreland everyone. Davin Moreland understands there is about to be a match for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. *he appears on the ramp, flanked by the lovely Ms. Samantha* If you’ll remember, some months ago; Davin Moreland worked for GM the Weak as the Assistant General Manager of the OOWF. Crowd: BOO~! DM: Davin Moreland eventually went on to claim Davin Moreland’s destiny and win Davin Moreland’s OOF World Heavyweight Championship at Hell on Earth. GM the Weak, being the ungrateful son-of-a-bitch that he is, forced Davin Moreland to leave that position against Davin Moreland’s wishes, and against the better interests of the OOWF. However, Davin Moreland, by law and by contract, was required to be given a severance. As part of that severance, Davin Moreland got something that Davin Moreland hasn’t felt necessary to use until right now. Crowd: BOO~! (and a few assholes who keep saying “What?”, who are promptly beaten and disposed of.) DM: What Davin Moreland received……was a Guaranteed Title Shot whenever Davin Moreland felt the need to use it. So, Legendary LD Williams? Poe the Kid-Toucher? Davin Moreland feels like this match sounds like Davin Moreland’s kind of party. Davin Moreland went to GM the Weak a few minutes ago, and cashed in that title shot. This match is now a No-DQ 3-Way Dance, and it’s for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Now, even though Davin Moreland is already at a disadvantage due to already competing this evening… Crowd: BOO~! DM: …as a equal participant in this match, Davin Moreland demands Davin Moreland’s proper entrance. So hit Davin Moreland’s music and pyro, NOW! The sound guy complies, and “Notorious” fires up. This annoys the hell out of the crowd, but even more so the participants who were just about to start the match. Davin takes his SWEET-ASS time getting down the ramp, with his arm around Samantha. He directs her over to one side of the floor as he climbs into the ring. He does the whole thing, 4-corner pose, more posing…more Douchebag posing, until the music finally ends. Finally, Hightower has had enough and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! LD WILLIAMS vs. POE vs. DAVIN MORELAND - OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Immediately, almost by instinct, LD and Poe charge Davin simultaneously, and just start whaling on him. They end up double clotheslining him out to the floor, and the crowd cheers in response. LD and Poe do a tearwrist fist bump, and lockup. Poe gets the advantage, and shoves LD into the corner. Hightower calls for the clean break, and he gets one, as Poe simply backs away. They go to lockup again, but this time LD just buries a knee in Poe’s gut. LD nails Poe with a straight kick to the face, and follows that up with a Clothesline. LD goes for a cover, but it barely gets a 2-count. LD hits the near rope, but Poe rolls right at him. LD hops over and hits the far ropes. Poe runs after him and CATCHES LD, and hits a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! LD went…far. Now Poe is on the case, and pulls LD all the way up and puts him on his shoulder. He runs toward the turnbuckle…SNAKE EYES! LD bounces and stumbles backward, and eats a HIEROGLYPH! This could be it! Poe covers! 1…2…Davin hits a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA to break the count! Davin pounces on Poe, and starts blistering him with right hands, and once he tires of that, just starts smashing Poe’s head into the mat. Hightower has to physically break Davin from Poe. Davin takes half a step back, and then starts STOMPING on Poe, and talking a ton of shit while he’s doing it. He even does a “C’Mon Baby!” cover and it actually gets a 1 count. Davin hits the near ropes and tries for a HOGAN LEGDROP on Poe, but LD comes back into the act and, timing it beautifully, hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER on Davin. LD covers Davin, and Poe breaks up the count at 2. It’s Poe and LD again, and this time it’s LD taking the initiative, landing hard right hands that stagger the big man. LD WHIPS Poe to the ropes, Poe REVERSES and LD hits the ropes. Poe goes for a Clothesline, but LD was already primed for a FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE! That takes Poe down, and LD manages to roll Poe over. He moves to his legs, and LOCKS ON THE STF! He’s got it cinched in, and they’re in the middle of the ring! Poe is in HUGE trouble, and is trying to get to the ropes, but it appears to be a losing proposition. Poe is screaming in pain, and it looks like he’s going to tap! He brings his hand down, and they’re both DESTROYED by a SHOOTING STAR SPLASH from Davin! Poe manages to roll to the outside. Now it’s Davin on the attack again, landing some jaw-rattling European Uppercuts on LD. He whips LD to the ropes, and DESTROYS him with a POWER SLAM! Davin hangs on and rolls through, going into a PUMPING PRESS SLAM! LD is NOT in a good way right now. Davin climbs the ropes and head to the top, facing out to the crowd. He takes off for a MOONSAULT, but he is BLASTED in the head with a STEEL CHAIR, and Poe has a high-quality smirk on his face. Russ: It’s as legal as an Armbar! Poe dishes out a couple of wicked Chair Shots on Davin before wrapping the chair around his right arm. Poe’s going to try to break his arm! He hits the ropes, and Davin manages to flip the chair at Poe’s legs, tripping him. Davin crawls over and locks on an ANKLE LOCK! He doesn’t have it on perfectly, but Poe can’t last forever in this Ankle Lock. Davin shakes out the cobwebs and regains his senses, and locks the hold in tighter, and Poe can’t take much more of this. Just when it looks like Poe is going to give it up, Davin takes a TRASH CAN TO THE SKULL! LD grabs the trash can and heads to the top rope! He takes off and hits a VAN CANNINATOR on Davin’s head. LD covers, but Poe is able to pull LD off at 2. Now LD starts stomping on Poe’s ankle, and that can’t feel good. However, Poe is able to NAIL LD with a kick right to the temple. LD is stunned and comes to rest against the ropes. Poe is up, and hammers LD with a HIEROGLYPH which sends him to the outside! Poe is about to follow, but instead turns back to the ring, and grabs the chair. He starts jabbing the pointed end of the chair into Davin’s ribs, and THAT can’t feel good either. He manages to force Davin to the outside, and Poe follows. He pulls Davin up, and WHIPS him into the barrier. Poe catches Davin before he can fall, and WHIPS him into the apron! Poe SMASHES Davin’s face into the apron, and then he DDT’S HIM INTO THE FLOOR! Poe climbs up to the apron, and Drops a Knee right into Davin’s ribs. The cameraman’s mic picks up Davin wheezing. Poe rolls Davin into the ring, and SLINGSHOTS after him, dropping two knees as he does. Poe covers! We might have a new champ! 1…2…LD THROWS A LADDER AT POE! Poe is up pretty quickly, and he’s PISSED! He comes CHARGING after LD, but LD kills him with a DROPKICK. Poe staggers but doesn’t drop, so LD completes the job with a BIG Clothesline. LD hits the near ropes and hits Poe with a Basement Dropkick to the head! LD goes to the ladder, and sets it up, although it’s apparently similar to assembling a supercollider. He finally gets it set up, and leans the loopy Poe against it. Selena SCREAMS from the outside. LD retreats a few steps, and goes for a SHINING WIZARD, but at the last second, Poe throws himself to the side, and LD’s legs go through the rungs of the ladder, and he ends up crotching himself. Poe is up, and goes to attack LD, but Davin hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, and Poe bangs his head on the ladder, but Davin banged his elbow on the ladder too, and catches his throat on the bottom rope! All 3 men are down, and Hightower doesn’t know what to do. Samantha runs over to where Davin is near the apron. They have a conversation, and we don’t hear anything until she walks away and turns back to yell “How Many?” Davin yells back, “All of them!” It’s Davin who’s up first, but his bleeding is now starting to show from his adventures with Poe outside. He goes to cover Poe, but can barely get a 1 count before LD breaks it up. Both men are up almost simultaneously, and the crowd gets to their feet, because it looks like it’s the LD/Davin show again. The two kind of look around, shrug their shoulders, and lockup. Davin pushes LD around pretty easily, until LD buries a knee in Davin’s midsection. Davin doubles over easily, and LD’s gonna try the DDT! LD locks it in and starts it, but Davin grabs LD in a Bearhug. He hangs on for a second, until he lets LD slide down a bit, then Davin gets him up, and hits a SLINGSHOT UNDERHOOK SUPLEX! LD lands hard, but Davin’s not interested in the cover, and goes over to where Samantha is, and it looks like she’s accumulated some tables. 6 in all. Davin thanks her and gives her a kiss before shoving them all into the ring. LD shakes the cobwebs and gets on his hands and knees looking for Davin. Instead he finds Poe, who SMASHES him with the Dented-Up Trash Can! Looks like LD caught a sharp edge, and now he’s bleeding too. Poe crawls over to him, and Locks on the ASP DEATHLOCK! LD is in trouble, and Hightower is checking on him. He does the arm-lift spot! The first 2 times, LD’s arm falls dramatically limp. On the third arm lift, before LD’s arm can drop, a Ladder flies in onto both of them! This break the hold, and the top of the ladder caught Poe upside the head! He’s bleeding now. Davin just grins and goes back to his table work. He’s already got 4 set up; one in each corner, and he has one set up on one side of the ring. Davin completes the picture with one set up on the other side, and goes to work on the ladder. Finally, the bloody Davin has the ladder set up in the middle of the ring, and grabs Poe. He drags Poe to one of the tables, and lays him out on it. He then goes to climb the ladder. He’s at the top, and he takes off! He completes an 810, and GOES RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! Stupid Firewoman’s rules about tables. Poe just slid off the table in time, and now crawls back over to cover! He’s got him! 1, 2, NO! LD out of NOWHERE came in with a chair shot! LD seems to be in the best shape right about now, but he’s not looking too great. He does pull up Poe, and WHIPS him into the corner…SMASHING through the Table. Poe is OUT! LD rolls him up! He’s going to retain! 1…2…Davin hits LD in the head with a big piece of table! It’s not enough to hurt him, but it’s enough to break the cover. Predictably, LD is PISSED, and he just JUMPS on Davin, punching the holy hell out of him. Davin can’t really even get his hands up, and LD starts smashing his head into the mat. Satisfied, LD pulls Davin up, and HITS THE DDT! LD covers! 1…2…Poe breaks up the cover with the conventional Double Axe-Handle. LD still isn’t really hurt, and now he’s INCENSED! LD pulls Poe up and WHIPS him into the corner, smashing him through another table. Not done, LD pulls the dead Poe up, and WHIPS him all the way across the ring, smashing another table. Poe is really, REALLY out. LD walks over purposefully, and locks him in…HITTING THE DDT! Hightower slides in for the count, 1…2…and the LADDER LANDS ON LD! Davin managed to push it over, and he slowly gets to his feet. LD is up now too, and he FLIES at Davin, leveling him with a Clothesline. He pulls Davin up, and WHIPS him into the only corner with a table still in one piece, and it’s not in one piece anymore. Davin goes in hard, and bounces off the turnbuckle. LD is in quickly, and catches Davin off the rebound, hitting an INVERTED DDT! LD admires his work for a second before covering, and it’s costly because Poe is right behind him, and locks him in for THE OBELISK RIGHT THROUGH THE LAST TABLE! Poe gives a Primal Scream and pulls LD up, and HITS THE CRUCIFIXION! Poe crawls over and hooks both legs! Poe’s gonna be the new champ! 1…2…NO! Davin managed to throw the Ladder at him and it was just enough to break the count. Poe is HEATED! Samantha appears to pass something to Davin just off-camera. Poe stalks Davin and is greeted with a TRUSTY REBAR TO THE BALLS! Poe audibly squeaks! Davin rolls him up! He’s got the trunks and his feet on the ropes! 1…2…3! Just as LD was coming in to break up the count! WINNER in 29:52 by DARLING FINISH…Davin Moreland! Davin Moreland is the NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Davin quickly grabs the belt from the timekeeper, grabs Samantha’s hand, and they chickenshit it up to the ramp. Then “Notorious” hits, and Davin holds up 3 fingers before doing a quality heel fingerpoint-to-the-head; and the confetti falls from the rafters as the rest of Run DEA comes out from the back, and they celebrate right on the platform. The music switches to “Ladies and Gentlemen”, and the final camera shot to close the show is of Run DEA surrounding Davin Moreland, who is holding the belt with one hand over his head. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem, Live! March 4th from Springfield, Louisiana For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Feb 25, 2009 19:53:40 GMT -5 |
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SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. MATTE – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” fires up over the PA, and the crowd pops nicely for the proud owner of his own hallway, Matte. In true Matte fashion, he appears bored with the whole thing; loping his way down the ramp. He rolls into the ring and immediately goes across it and slumps down in the corner, apparently trying to keep himself from nodding out…I mean “falling asleep”. “Rebels of the Sacred Heart” comes on, and the OOWF Onslaught Champion, Seamus McNasty makes his way down the ramp to a big ovation. He makes a point to stop for a kid who has a Guinness shirt on. He steps into the ring and displays the Onslaught Title a bit before handing it to Fall River’s Own Angelo Barros. He raises it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF Onslaught Championship. Barros hands the belt to the outside and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Seamus looks over at Matte who still hasn’t gotten out of the corner. Seamus allows him a few seconds to get up, before he goes over to GET Matte up. Seamus eats a kick to the gut for his troubles, and he doubles over. Matte pulls himself up by the ropes and hops on the second turnbuckle. Matte hits a Blockbuster, and Seamus hits the mat. Matte apparently has seen “Stomp: The Musical” and does his best interpretation of it all over Seamus. Matte thinks that might be enough, so he covers, but he doesn’t even get a 2 count. Matte leans down to pull up Seamus, but he Seamuses up a little bit, and goes all “Fighting Irish” on Matte; punches to the gut, face, a couple of headbutts, and Seamus has gained control. Matte’s wobbly, and Seamus hits a SWEET GUTWRENCH SUPLEX, but that doesn’t really kill Matte. So, Seamus decides it’s time to travel the ROCKY ROAD TO DUBLIN, and answers Matte’s stomps with some stomps of his own. Seamus finally has enough and covers, and that barely got a 2 count. Seamus pulls Matte up and tosses him to the ropes, absolutely KILLING Matte with a MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE! Seamus covers again, and gets a longer 2-count. Seamus looks a tad frustrated, and pulls Matte up again. Seamus THROWS him into the corner, and NAILS him with a HUGE SPLASH! Matte stumbles out of the corner. Seamus nearly SPEARS Matte in half! Matte is hanging on to the top rope, and it’s the only thing holding him up. Seamus backs up a few steps and is measuring another charge. Seamus takes off, and Matte uses Seamus’ momentum to BACK BODY DROP him all the way out to the floor, and Seamus landed kind of ugly. Matte takes a second to shake out the cobwebs, and goes out to the floor. He sees Seamus trying to get up, and Matte blasts him with a kick to the ribs, which sends Seamus all the way over. Struggling, Matte pulls Seamus up, and WHIPS him into the ring apron, and then hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX into the barrier. Ouch. Matte climbs on top of the barrier and BULLDOGS Seamus into the floor. Seamus appears to be sporting some ketchup of some kind from an apparently broken nose. Matte manages to get Seamus to his feet again, and delivers a couple of Chop-Woos. Matte tries to whip Seamus all the way to the announce area; but Seamus reverses to an IRISH WHIP and sends Matte CRASHING into the Zimbabwean Announce Table! The table doesn’t break, but Matte hit hard. Seamus rolls into the ring to break the count, and quickly rolls back out to deal with Matte. Matte still hasn’t moved, and Seamus is there quickly enough to start repeatedly blasting Matte in the face with the announce table. After the seventh attempt, we see Matte apparently has ketchup nose too. Seamus tries for one more face smash on the table, but Matte finally gets his hands in front of him to stop it. He responds with a SHARP back elbow, which turns Seamus around. Matte steps on top of the announce table, and hits a DROPKICK right in Seamus’ mug, which slams him into the apron. Matte rolls up and NAILS Seamus with a clothesline, and Seamus hits the floor. Matte rolls into the ring to break the count and stands up. He tries a SLINGSHOT PLANCHA, but overshoots it by a mile, and kills himself in the announce table as it shatters beneath him. Seamus is up now, and heads over to Matte’s corpse. He hoists Matte on his shoulder, and JAVELINS him straight into the STEEL POST. His head might have split open there. Seamus gets Matte again, and rolls him into the ring. Seamus steps in and screams “faugh a ballaugh” to which the crowd responds by shouting it back; even though they’ve likely got no idea what they’re saying or how to say it. Seamus pulls Matte up and whips him into the ropes, DESTROYING him with a SPINEBUSTER. He screams “One More time” and starts to pull Matte up again to cheers. He whips Matte to the far ropes and just KILLS Matte with another SPINEBUSTER, but Barros was out of position, and he got SMOOSHED by the Spinebuster…REF BUMP~! Seamus looks more irritated than anything else, and starts slapping Barros around in an effort to revive him. Because slapping is clearly preferable to say…smelling salts. Needless to say, Seamus is “engaged”, and Matte is, well, dead (suicide, just like always), so neither of them see D.H. MAGNUSSON come FLYING down the ramp! DH slides into the ring, and starts WHIPPING Seamus with his trusty chain! Seamus stumbles and tries to get up. DH WHIPS Seamus into the ropes as he wraps the chain around his forearm…CHAIN-ASSISTED JERSEY HAMMER! Nighty-night, Seamus. He looks around at the scene, and gets a wicked grin on his face. He drags Matte on top of Seamus, and pulls Barros into position. DH busts out some smelling salts (see, that’s the RIGHT way to do it), and almost immediately, Barros is magically returned to consciousness. DH slides out of the ring before Barros knows what’s going on, and ducks down so no one can see him. Barros sees the scene before him, and makes the academic 3-count. WINNER by PINFALL in 12:17…and NEW OOWF ONSLAUGHT CHAMPION…Matte! THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER vs. PHANTOS & LUCIOS– OOWF World Tag Team Title Match Gator and Phantos start it off with a little catch as catch can, and Gator ends up working a hammerlock on the mat. Phantos goes to the ropes to break and is frustrated. Back up and Gator grabs a headlock. Phantos shoves him off, but eats a shoulderblock. To the ropes, Phantos leapfrogs over, but OBJ feigns a punch, and Phantos stops in his tracks.... but that allows Gator to schoolboy Phantos for two. Phantos pops up in a hissy and tags out. Lucios in and Gator welcomes that challenge, but bites off more than he can chew and Lucios squashes him in the corner. Shoulder thrusts in the corner, and Lucios slings him across the ring. Lucios charges, but Gator rolls out of the way and tags in Jack. OBJ in and peppers Lucios with lefts and rights and hiptosses him over. Legdrop and OBJ tries a cross armbreaker, but Lucios blocks it and goes to the eyes to stop the attack. Lucios gets some momentum off the ropes and measures Jack with a clothesline to the back of the head. Tag back to Phantos, who runs in with a stomp, then a low dropkick. Front facelock, and Phantos gets some knees to OBJ's gut, then DDT's him. Back to Lucios, and he goes to the abdominal stretch... with a little help from his partner on the apron. Gator's having none of that and steps in, but as soon as the ref begins to walk over, he steps back out, and referee Hightower turns around to see P&L cheating and breaks that up. The diversion allows OBJ to get a jawbreaker to escape, but before he can get the tag, Phantos runs back in and decks Gator off the apron. As the ref sends Phantos away, Lucios sneaks in with a chair. Lucios lines up OBJ... but Gator sneaks back in with Wally's cane and DECKS HIM WITH THE CANE!! Hightower turns around and sees Gator with the cane, sees Lucios holding his neck with one hand and a chair with the other... and opts to throw his hands up and tells everyone to have it out. Phantos is IRATE and hops in, charges at Gator, but GB tosses him over the top. Lucios stalks Gator from behind... but forgets about OBJ and Jack nails him with the BOOMERANG~! But Lucios staggers back to his feet, and TFDU is perplexed. Gator shrugs his shoulders and CHOMP~! Lucios is dead. Jack covers, one... two... and they get the three count moments before Phantos hops in to break it up. WINNERS in 14:58 and STILL OOWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE TEAM FROM DOWN UNDER FIREWOMAN vs. TYSON KINCAID – OOWF Intercontinental Tile Match Tyson Kincaid makes his way to the ring and waits patiently in the corner. After a few seconds the OOWF Intercontinental champion Firewoman is announced and she makes her way to the ring and takes a spot in the corner opposite of Kincaid. The referee calls for the bell after holding up the intercontinental title, and neither Fire nor Tyson move from their corner. They just stand there staring at one another. Finally the referee barks at them to start the match and they slowly move toward the middle of the ring. Fire and Kincaid circle and then lock up. Kincaid pushes Fire to the corner, and the referee asks for a clean break, Kincaid starts to move away cautiously, then backs away quickly. Fire eyes Kincaid carefully, then moves back to the middle of the ring. They lock up again and Fire knees Kincaid in the mid-section and sends him to the ropes. Knicaid does a handstand back elbow, but Fire catches him and drives him to the mat with a chokeslam, falls on him for the cover, but only gets a one count. Kincaid springs to his feet and ducks a Fire spinning heel kick and sweeps her leg from beneath her sending her to the mat. Kincaid drops an elbow across Fire’s ribs, then grabs her arm and wrings it, pulling her to her feet. As Fire stands up, Kincaid connects with a crescent kick, again, to the ribs, dropping Fire to her knees. Kincaid pulls Fire to her feet and hooks her for a suplex and lifts her in the air, but Fire slips out of it and lands behind Kincaid, grabs him and hits a LUNGBLOWER! Fire covers, but once again Kincaid is out at one. Both opponents get to their feet and Fire hits the ropes and charges at Kincaid, but he side steps and sends Fire into the corner, but Fire scales the ropes and leaps over the charging Kincaid. Fire lands on her feet, and Kincaid puts on the brakes before he crashes into the corner. As Fire lands, Kincaid charges out of the corner with a clothesline attempt, but Fire catches him with a drop toe hold sending him to the mat face first. Fire hits the ropes and connects with a drop kick to Tyson’s face, then grabs his arms for a FIRESTOMP, but Kincaid rolls forward, sending Fire to the mat. Now Kincaid is to his feet first and he charges to the ropes and springboards off the middle rope with a moonsault and catches Fire as she stands up and DRIVES her to the mat with a DDT. Fire bails out of the ring, falling to the floor, trying to shake off the cobwebs. Fire gets to her feet and Kincaid charges, leaping between the ropes, but Fire side steps and Kincaid crashes shoulder first into the guard rail. As Tyson stands up, Fire connects with a stiff kick to the side of his head that sends him over the guard rail into the crowd. Fire follows him, and the two of them trade punches and chops among the fans. Fire catches Tyson with a knee to the mid-section as he stands up and tries a suplex, but Kincaid reverses it into a test drive on the floor. Tyson hops the railing and slips back into the ring and breaks the count. As he slides back out of the ring, Fire is back on her feet. Fire hops on the guardrail and leaps at Kincaid, and Kincaid catches her in mid-air with a SUPERKICK! Fire’s head SNAPS back and he head SLAMS against the floor. Fire is dazed as Kincaid scoops her up and rolls her into the ring. Tyson climbs onto the apron and is just about to step into the ring, when he grabs his chest and his left arm goes limp. Kincaid falls to the floor, and the camera pans around to him and we see he is sweating profusely. As Kincaid struggles, Tytan runs down to the ring and checks on him. Tyson tries to wave him off and climb back into the ring, but Tytan blocks him from getting back into the ring, he keeps checking on Kincaid and asking him questions. Finally Tyson tries to shove past Tytan, but Tytan stops him again and calls for Steele. Before Steele can get to the ring, the referee hits ten and Tyson is counted out! Tytan smirks, and slaps Kincaid on the back and walks to the back. Kincaid looks at Tytan in disbelief, still trying to shake the feeling back into his arm. Inside the ring, Firewoman is just now getting to her feet in the ring holding her jaw, pretty much oblivious to what is going on. WINNER in 20:11 - Firewoman LD WILLIAMS vs. DH MAGNUSSON – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match “Calm Before the Storm” blasts over the PA, and the Springfield crowd rises up as one to boo the ever-living shit out of DH Magnusson. Magnusson busts out his Douchebag pose; obviously, he’s been practicing. He climbs into the ring, very satisfied with himself; and a matching smile to boot as he unleashes another quality Douchebag pose. The crowd continues to boo until “Jekyll and Hyde” fires up, and OOWF World Heavyweight Champion LD Williams appears at the top of the ramp, displaying his belt for all to see; to a tremendous ovation. He climbs into the ring, and hands the belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower. He holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. He hands it to the outside and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! DH makes broad gesticulations that mainly boil down to “me wanty belt”. LD grins and waves DH in. They lock up, and DH shoves LD into the corner. He walks away very proud of himself. LD is unhappy, and seeing that DH’s back is turned, runs at him. DH picks LD up at the last moment, and hits a sweet POWER SLAM, and gets a quick 2-count for his trouble. DH tries to press his advantage and starts punching and kicking at LD, all the way into the corner. DH hits some shoulderblocks in the corner, and props LD on the top turnbuckle. He starts a mount punch, and then locks LD in, and tries for a Superplex. But, LD finds some reserve, and finally Headbutts DH to the mat. LD takes of from where he is, and hits a MACHO MAN ELBOW! LD covers, and gets 2. LD tries to float over after the kickout and lock in the STF, but DH manages to kick him off. LD tries again, and again he’s kicked off. LD runs in one more time, but DH quickly bounces up, and LD walks into a sweet SITOUT POWERBOMB! LD manages JUST to roll the shoulder before Hightower’s hand hits the mat for the 3rd time. DH is clearly unhappy, and stares menacingly at Hightower. So much so, that Hightower has to point at the OOWF logo on his shirt. DH gets up, and does some heelish boot-paintbrushing. He pulls LD to his feet, and tries for a Gutwrench Suplex, but LD manages to block it, and hit an UNDERHOOK SUPLEX of his own. And we’ve now officially gone old school. LD does some raking of DH’s face on the ropes, and a little choke spot that takes 4 of a 5 count. LD takes a couple of steps backward, and looks to blast DH in the head with his knee; but DH squats up at the last second and BACK BODY DROPS LD to the outside. Hightower starts to count. DH manages to get his bearings, and slide out of the ring. He pulls up LD, and WHIPS him into the barrier. Then, he WHIPS him into the ring apron. DH does some face-smashing of LD, before he bundles him into the ring. DH manages a Douchebag pose before climbing into the ring himself. LD is in ROUGH shape. DH screams “It’s Over” and pulls LD up one last time. He steps to the side, and it looks like it’s time for DREAM STREET, but LD somehow manages to fight out of it, and HIT THE DDT! LD can’t cover however, so this is a wasted opportunity. Both men actually get up about the same time, and they start trading Yay/Boo punches. Finally, LD lands 2 or 3 in a row and has the upper hand. He whips DH to the ropes, but DH bounces off and lands a JERSEY HAMMER! DH struggles to his feet and pulls up LD one more time, and it looks like DREAM STREET again, but suddenly Seamus McNasty comes CHARGING down the ramp with a beer bottle in his hand! DH is facing the wrong way, so he never sees Seamus SMASH the Beer Bottle over his head. Hightower is required by law to call for the bell. WINNER in 8:41 by DISQUALIFICATION (Outside Interference)…D.H. Magnusson! DH is knocked loopy by the beer bottle, but that’s the least of his problems, as Seamus decided to bring some brass knucks with him as well, and just starts BLISTERING DH’s face with them. DH is bleeding from 4 of 5 different points of his face, and probably has a couple of concussions now. Seamus screams “Faugh a Ballaugh!” and pulls the lifeless DH up. Seamus hits the BLACK AND TAN! Seamus is getting quite the ovation here, and even a golf clap from LD Williams, who is now standing in the ring with his belt slung over his shoulder. Seamus nods to him and heads back up the ramp. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 3, Live! February 18th from Springfield, South Dakota For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Views: 2,756 |
Jack Quinn Feb 18, 2009 20:45:56 GMT -5 |
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Sorry about that Dead, it is fixed
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Jack Quinn Feb 12, 2009 0:37:31 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 2
Live! From Springfield, Minnesota OOWF Jobber Invitational Semi-Finals[/u] Duane Gil Bracket Final DR. STONE COLD DEATH VON ERICH v "THE LOVE MACHINE” BILLY WAYNE WOODARD “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard and Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich square off as the bell rings. Von Erich sends his man into the ropes and connects with an elbow. BWW kips back up and ducks a haymaker. Chop WOOOO! Chop WOOOO! BWW backs him into the corner. Kick to the gut and a big bulldog takes Von Erich down. Cover gets barely a 1 count and both men are to their feet again. Billy hooks a suplex, but Von Erich reverses it and hits the move himself. Fist drop. Arm bar. Wooodard starts to rally himself to his feet. Von Erich sends him into the ropes and locks in a Sleeper hold! BWW flails his arms, trying to break free. HE backs into the corner, and Von Erich breaks the hold. BWW stumbles forward and DSCDVE levels him from behind with a clothesline. Von Erich poses for the crowd, who jeers him on cue. Loose cover gets 2, and now Von Erich discusses the matter with the ring official. Woodard is back to his feet. Dropkick catches Von Erich off guard! Irish Whip, Power slam! Repeated elbow drops and Woodard fires up the Crowd! Backdrop followed by a Kick and DDT! Cover for 1…2… and DSCDVE is just able to avoid the pin fall. Woodard calls for the Full Nelson! He stalks Von Erich from behind as he gets back to his feet. BWW goes to lock the nelson in and MULE KICK! How did the official NOT see that? Woodard crumples to the ground and Von Erich pounces, laying the boots the BWW repeatedly. Woodard crawls to the ropes and the referee has to physically restrain DSCDVE. Woodard slumps against the bottom rope. Von Erich drags him to his feet and hoists him onto his shoulders. OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! The running power slam appears to be the end of it. 1….2….and Von Erich pulls Woodard up by the hair. Irish whip HOT SHOT! Woodard falls to the mat grasping his throat. Von Erich calls for the Iron Claw, and stalks Woodard as he gets back to his feet. Von Erich applies the claw, and forces Woodard to his knees. The crowd begins to clap and encourages Woodard to fight to his feet. DSCDVE is ready for it. KICK! WHAM! STUNNER! BWW flops to the mat. Von Erich scrambles for the cover 1…2….3! Wait! The referee is calling off the pin. Woodard put his foot on the ropes just in the nick of time! DSCDVE is Outraged! He backs the referee into the corner and appears close to being disqualified. BWW sneaks up. SCHOOL BOY ROLLUP! 1…2…NO! Von Erich kicks out. Woodard has the crowd’s support. Full Nelson!... DRAGON SUPLEX! BWW bridges and 1…2…NO! DSCDVE kicks out again! The crowd groans in disbelief. Von Erich is slow getting up. Woodard attempts a body press. Von Erich catches him! Onto the shoulders AIRPLANE SPIN! Woodard is disoriented. Side Russian Leg sweep. Hangman’s Neck breaker. Von Erich drapes BWW upside down on the turnbuckles. MIDDLE ROPE PILEDIRVER! That’s going to do it. 1…2…3! WINNER, in 10:21, Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich! He has earned a spot in the Finals! George South Bracket Final JOSE MANUEL ORTIZ RAMIREZ CUERVO vs. FUMUNDA MUNG Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo and Fumunda Mung make their separate entrances. Mung charges at the bell, pummeling Jose into a corner. Cuervo tries to fight back, but clearly, Mung is in control. Overhead release belly to belly suplex. drag Jose into the corner, thrust kick right to the throat. Jose staggers out and gets kicked in the head from behind. Down he goes. Running splash Mung pulls Cuervo to his feet. Whip into the ropes. Lightning quick Samoan Drop! Cover and 1…2… and Cuervo weakly kicks out before 3. Jose stumbles into a corner. Mung charges in Stinger Splash… NOBODY HOME! Mung’s head bounces off the ring post, and Cuervo has life! Dropkick, handspring elbow and Springboard moonsault! 1…2… and Mung tosses Cuervo off him easily. Bulldog to the mat. Cuervo scurries to the top, 450 SPLASH! 1…2… NO! Mung gets the shoulder up. Cuervo back on the offensive with punches and kicks. Scoop Slam and he’s climbing to the top again. Mung scurries up behind him TOP ROPE SAMOAN DROP! Mung doesn’t even try to pin Cuervo. He props him up against the bottom turnbuckle. UMANGA BUTT SPLASH! Jose’s head wobbles sickeningly on his neck. Mung props him on the top rope. ANOTHER TOP ROPE SAMOAN DROP! Mercifully, he covers and gets the 1…2…3. WINNER, in 3:57, Fumunda Mung. Russ: I don’t know about you Razz, but I’d say that’s the favorite to win the tournament right now. Jake Milliman Bracket Final MELE KALIKAMUKA vs. HI-VO SAKAMOTO Mele Kalikamuka and Hi-Vo Sakamoto both make their respective entrances. After some feeling out, Hi-Vo begins to blister Mele with knifedge chops. Mele blocks one and thrust kicks Sakamoto to the mat. Mele locks in an arm bar and body scissors Hi-Vo’s waist. Sakamoto rolls over and Mele ends up on his back. 1…2… and Mele releases the arm bar to break the pin. He keeps the body scissor locked in, and Sakamoto tries to get to his feet. Mele rotates his hips and Sakamoto trips and ends up face down on the mat. Mele pounces and locks in a surfboard. Hi-Vo to his feet and Mele responds with a quick BACKSLIDE~~! 1… and Sakamoto rolls out of it and kips up. Lightning quick super kick to Mele’s jaw and cover for 1…2… and no. Mele struggles to his feet and resumes peppering him with chops. Mele’s chest is bright red now, and he finally blocks one. He grabs Hi-Vo’s hair. And repeatedly head butts him! Sakamoto staggers and Mele thrusts him in the throat! Hi-Vo falls back into the corner and Mele assaults him with kicks until the referee restrains him. Sakamoto snaps off a super kick, but Mele ducks and belly to belly’s Sakamoto to the ground. After a couple of stomps and a knee drop to the head, Hi-Vo isn’t stirring. Mele climbs to the top and hits a Diving Head butt! He takes too long to make the cover, and Sakamoto is able to kick out at 2. Hi-Vo is to his feet first, and he tosses Mele through the ropes and to the arena floor. Sakamoto climbs to the top and crashes into Mele, driving him into the ringside barrier hard. Sakamoto pulls Mele to his feet and drapes him across the barrier. Knifedge chops! Each one echoing through the arena. Thrust kick and Hi-Vo resumes the barrage. Mele clutches his chest and collapses to the floor. Hi-Vo clears the Micronesian announce table and drags Mele on to it. As Hi-Vo lays him out, we see Mele is Bleeding from the Chest! Sakamoto has chopped Mele wide open! Hi-Vo goes to the top rope, and the crowd buzzes. SOMERSAULT ELBOW DROP THROUGH THE TABLE…. BUT NOBODY’S HOME! Mele slides to the floor just in time, and Sakamoto crashes through the Micronesian Announce Table. The Crowd erupts and OOWF officials storm to ringside the check on Sakamoto. The referee seems ready to just call this one off, but Sakamoto pushes the officials away and stands up, covered in wood and blood. Mele, who’s own blood has run down the length of his body by now rushes in and spears him back to the floor in the debris! Mele taps his head and climbs to the ring apron and up the ring post. Razz: He can’t be doing this! A head butt from there would kill someone! Sakamoto stirs and gets groggily to his feet. Mele leaps off anyway and Sakamoto SUPERKICKS HIM OUT OF MID AIR! Mele hits the concrete with a sickening thud. Sakamoto falls backwards and collects his senses for a moment. He staggers over to Mele and pulls him onto the apron. Hi-Vo climbs the ropes and perches, waiting for Mele to get to his feet. BUZZSAW KICK OFF THE TOP! That’s GOT to be the end. Hi-Vo crawls over and covers 1….2….3! WINNER in 14:32, Hi-Vo Sakamoto! Russ: Well folks, that’s it! Next week, In a Three-Way Elimination Match, Hi-Vo Sakamoto Razz: Or what’s left of him Russ: Right. Sakamoto faces Fumunda Mung and Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich Razz: Wow. Just Wow. MATTE vs. DAMON WRATH Damon Wrath is announced first and makes his way to the ring, completely focused. He steps between the ropes and seems to go into a meditative state in the corner, his back to the rest of the ring. Matte is announced and as “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” plays he makes his way to the ring, looking completely uninterested in what is going on. Matte slides into the ring and the referee calls for the bell. Wrath remains in the corner, he doesn’t flinch a bit when the bell rings. Matte finally gets tired of waiting and grabs Wrath and spins him around, but Wrath catches Matte with a clothesline, sending him to the mat! Wrath immediately pounces on Matte and starts hammering him with MMA type shots, but Matte is able to cover up and avoid most of them. Wrath pulls Matte to his feet and sends him to the ropes and scoops him up in a fireman’s carry, but Matte slips off his shoulders and lands behind him, spins Wrath around and kicks him in the gut and tries for the Nevermind DDT, but Wrath back drops Matt over the top rope! Matte hits his back on the apron and falls to the floor. Wrath leaves the ring and pulls Matte back on his knees, and hammers him with several forearms across the face. Wrath pulls Matte to his feet and tries a whip to the stairs, but Matte reverses it and hits that drop toe hold, and Wrath goes head first into the corner of the steps. Wrath immediately springs to his knees grabbing his head, and it is only a matter of seconds before you can see blood running through his fingers. Matte kicks him in the gut forcing his hands away and we can see that this is like .8 Muta. Matte grabs Wrath and hammers him with shots to the face until his fists are covered with Wrath’s blood. Matte pulls Wrath to his feet and hauls him up for a vertical suplex, Wrath’s blood runs down Matte’s side and drips on the floor, then Matte slams Wrath down stomach first on the guard rail. Matte gets a running start and knee lifts Wrath, sending him into the crowd and spraying blood everywhere. Matte slides back into the ring to break the count, then right back to the floor where he flips Wrath over the railing and throws him back into the ring. Matte climbs to the second rope and leaps, but Wrath gets his foot up. Matte catches himself on Wrath’s boot, shoves it aside and drops an elbow anyway. Matte covers, but only gets a two count. Matte slowly pulls Wrath to his feet, but Wrath fights back and grabs Matte and DESTROYS him with a release belly to belly suplex. Wrath struggles to his feet and staggers around the ring trying to wipe the blood from his mouth. Matte backs himself into the corner and tries to clear the cobwebs. Wrath grabs him by the leg and pulls him out of the corner, planting a kick to the face as he pulls him, then flips Matte over and locks him in the Rings of Saturn, trying for a submission. Matte grunts in pain, but won’t give up. The amount of blood running off of Wrath’s head actually makes it hard for him to keep the hold locked on, and Matte slips from his grasp. Wrath and Matte get to their feet and Matte tries a whip, but Wrath reverses it, and lowers his head too soon. Matte catches him and hits a PILEDRIVER! Matte covers, but Wrath rolls his shoulder at two. Matte slips out of the ring and reaches under the ring and sets up a table. As he gets back onto the apron, Wrath is on his feet and tries running down the ropes with a clothesline, but Matte ducks it and sends Wrath into the turnbuckle with a kick to the back of the head. Matte grabs Wrath and pulls him out onto the apron and kicks him, then hits the NEVERMIND DDT THROUGH THE TABLE! The crowd pops with a HOLY SHIT chant as Wrath’s face meets cement. Matte pulls him off the floor and rolls him back into the ring and covers, hooking the leg, one, two, three! WINNER in 10:11 - Matte THE DEAD vs. LUCIOS The Dead makes his way to the ring first, looking determined to avenge his loss to Phantos last week. He warms up in the corner as Lucios enters the arena to a chorus of boos. Phantos comes to ringside with his partner, but referee Davis Hightower immediately sends him back to the locker room. Hightower calls for the bell and we're off. Dead and Lucios circle and lock up, with Lucios' size giving him an immediate advantage. He backs Dead into the corner and, ignoring Hightower's demands for a break, lays into him with chops. He whips Dead across the ring and follows him into the corner, but Dead moves out of the way. Lucios hits the turnbuckles, and Dead rolls him up, getting a two count. Lucios rolls to his knees and Dead sends him back to the mat with a kick to the face. Dead keeps him down on the mat with a series of stomps, then hits the ropes and drives a knee into his temple. He covers, but Lucios kicks out at two. Dead pulls Lucios to his feet and staggers him with European uppercuts, then tries for a suplex. Lucios blocks and reverses, holding Dead in a delayed vertical suplex before turning it into a Jackhammer. He hooks the leg and gets a long two count. Lucios goes to the ropes and catches a rising Dead with a boot to the head, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat. He brutalizes Dead with kicks, then slings him to the ropes and plants him with a spine buster. Foregoing the cover, Lucios pulls Dead up and lifts him for the Bordertoss. Dead struggles free at the top of the hold and drops behind him, hooking his head and hitting a reverse neck breaker on the way down. It takes Dead a moment to clear the cobwebs before he covers, and Lucios kicks out at two. Death is first to his feet and lines Lucios up. He tries to Close the Casket, but Lucios dodges and Dead's leg catches on the top rope. Lucios sweeps his other leg, and Dead slams head first into the mat. Lucios pounces, raining down elbows and fists onto Dead. Lucios pulls him up and tosses him into the corner, attacking him with a series of shoulder blocks before lifting him onto the top turnbuckle. Lucios climbs up for a superplex, but Dead fights back. Lucios gets the best of the slugfest, until Dead slams a head butt into the bridge of his nose. Lucios tumbles back to the mat, and Dead leaps off the turnbuckles with a senton splash. He hooks the leg and Hightower counts One....Two...Thr-Lucios rolls a shoulder just in time. Dead springs to his feet and hits the ropes, burying a knee in Lucios midsection as he gets up. Dead follows up with a DDT and covers, but Lucios kicks out. Dead presses his attack with chops and kicks as Lucios struggles to his feet. Dead stuns him with an elbow to the jaw, then sends him to the ropes. Lucios plants his feet and reverses the whip. Dead ducks a clothesline attempt and hits the opposite ropes, but gets caught by a brutal spine buster on the return trip. Lucios hooks the leg and Hightower counts One...Two...Thr- this time Dead rolls a shoulder just in time. Lucios pulls Dead to his feet and grabs his arm. He twists it into a hammerlock and lifts him for the hammerlock slam, but Dead uses his free arm to elbow Lucios in the face. Lucios lets go and Dead lands on his one foot, snapping the other leg out and Closing the Casket! Dead falls on Lucios and hooks both legs as Hightower counts One...Two...Three. WINNER, in 12:46, The Dead. OOWF Invitational Round 2 POE vs. THE AMNESIAC “I Can’t Remember” comes over the PA, and there’s a smattering of applause as The Amnesiac makes his way down to the ring; acknowledging the cheers (such as they are) on the way down. He climbs into the ring and heads to the corner, fiddling with his mask and getting it on straight. Fall River’s Own Angelo Barros suppresses a giggle as his music stops. The London Symphony Orchestra fires up and “For Whom the Bell Tolls” starts. Poe, flanked by Selena, waits at the top of the ramp as his pyro goes off. Once it’s done, the two make their way down the ramp to a thunderous ovation, which, by his facial expression, is something that Poe has been waiting for since his arrival in the OOWF. Poe appears to be favoring his ankle every so slightly. It’s almost imperceptible unless you were looking for it. He shuttles Selena to the far side of the floor as Poe climbs into the ring and poses a little – to more applause. Barros acknowledges both wrestlers and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! The two immediately lock up, but the taller Poe leverages his way into a headlock. THE Amnesiac manages to squirm out and reverse into an Armbar. Poe sells the Armbar for a moment or two, before he just YANKS THE Amnesiac toward him and NAILS him with a Short-Arm Clothesline. THE Amnesiac bounces back up, just in time for Poe to just ANNIHILATE him with a T-BONE SUPLEX! Poe covers quickly, and gets a two count for his trouble. Poe pulls up Amnesiac and WHIPS him into the turnbuckle. HUGE SPLASH from Poe, and Amnesiac stumbles out of the corner. Poe tries to follow with a BIG Shoulder Tackle, but THE Amnesiac is able to side-step him. Poe spears himself on the STEEL POST! THE Amnesiac shakes out the cobwebs a little and sees Poe hung up in the ropes. Amnesiac does what anyone else would do and goes RIGHT to the Injured Ankle of Poe. It’s not an Ankle Lock, but he’s holding it, and just driving the point of his elbow into it REPEATEDLY. Poe’s yelling tells the story. THE Amnesiac finally tries to hang Poe’s ankle on a rope; but before too much more damage can be done, Poe DRILLS THE Amnesiac with an ENZIGURI! THE Amnesiac goes flying through the ropes all the way to the outside. Poe struggles to stand in the ring, as THE Amnesiac is still on Queer Street on the outside. Poe takes a deep breath and RUNS and tries a SUICIDE DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE, but Poe clipped his foot on the rope on the way out, and falls awkwardly. Selena Bansheescreams at this development, and Barros starts a count. THE Amnesiac is up first, and sees Poe prone nearby. He one-hops the barrier and hits a SICK DOUBLE-JUMP MOONSAULT! THE Amnesiac climbs up onto the apron and takes off again, landing a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! THE Amnesiac looks up one more time, and positions Poe’s ankle. He heads ALL the way up to the top turnbuckle. Selena is apoplectic. THE Amnesiac takes off and hits a SPLIT-LEGGED CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ON POE’S ANKLE! Poe’s awake now, and SCREAMING in pain. THE Amnesiac considers forcing Poe into the ring, but realizes he doesn’t need to. He rolls into the ring, and instructs Barros to start counting, which he does. Selena flies over to Poe, trying to comfort him. Poe gets an eerie look of calm on his face, and instructs Selena to basically bounce. Poe gets to his feet at 7, and rolls into the ring at 9. THE Amnesiac is on him immediately, just stomping and stomping away, but Poe simply doesn’t budge. THE Amnesiac tries a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT, but Poe gets a foot up, and, well, ow. Poe is finally to his feet, and the look of calm is slowly replaced by rage. Ok, that one IS creepy. Poe grabs THE Amnesiac by the traps and pulls him up. BIG Headbutt to the base of the skull, but Poe hangs on. Poe spins it into a NECKBREAKER and THE Amnesiac is in rough shape. Poe is relentless. He’s up quickly and pulls THE Amnesiac up again. He tosses THE Amnesiac into the corner for SNAKE EYES! THE Amnesiac stumbles backward from the corner, not quite aware of where he is. Poe scoops THE Amnesiac onto his shoulders, and hits THE PENDULUM! That one hurt both men, as Poe was clearly in pain trying to get the big man up. Poe signals to the crowd with the international sign for “it’s over”. Poe pulls THE Amnesiac up one more time. He hooks him in and DESTROYS THE Amnesiac with THE CRUCIFIXION! The 3-count is just a formality. WINNER in 11:58 by PINFALL…Poe! Poe doesn’t do much posing after the match, he quickly rolls out of the ring and signals for Selena. Selena rushes over, and “escorts” Poe up the ramp to the roar of the crowd. CHRIS COLE vs. STANK The area goes dark and we hear the first strains of “Master of Puppets” and the pyro goes off and out comes “The Main Event” Chris Coles. As he walks to ring he once again proves why he is the master of the air guitar…shades of Hollywood Hogan…Cole steps into the ring and begins to pull on the ropes to warm up. The music changes to Nonpoint’s “Skin” and out charges Stank bathed in dark green light and smoke…this guys moves fast for a big man and he’s chewing up the entrance ramp like Mark Henry at an all you can eat breakfast bar…he slide into the ring and closes in on Cole. Both men go nose to nose jawing at each other. Cole certainly has the head bob down…I can’t tell if he’s D’lo Brown’s love child or the new Moosehead Jack bobble head. Stank has had enough, he throws a stiff right hand that staggers Cole, Chris rubs his face and grins, Stank steps in for another right that backs Cole up a step, Stank comes in again but goes to the well once too often, Cole sidesteps and hits him with a drop toe hold that sends Stank into the ropes, he set up for the 619…but Cole bounces to the other side, off the ropes and down across Stank’s back instead. Stank rolls down off the second rope and onto the floor. Cole raises his arms in victory before delivery a boot to the head. It may be too early to celebrate but Cole has got the big man down and in trouble early. Cole pulls him up and delivers a European uppercut that staggers Stank to the corner. Cole follows him in with a high knee lift that sends either Stank’s gum or teeth into the second row…Cole backs up and builds steam…Cole in for the Stinger Splash but the big man rolls out of the way. Cole hits the turnbuckle sternum first. Stank grabs Cole by the hair and starts to pound him into the corner, 1…2…3 the crowd begins to pick up the count, 4…5..6…7… Referee counts to 5 and Stank lets Chris go..Cole turns and swats at the air with a left and right and Flair flops onto the ring. Stank picks Cole up and plants him with a Batista Bomb. Stank’s not done yet he’s up and bouncing off the ropes and nails Chris with a Stankonia 2.0. Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to pay our last respects to the Main Event Chris Cole…Stank goes for the cover…1…2…2 and ¾ and Cole barely gets his shoulder up…tales of his demise is greatly exaggerated…Stank pulls Cole to his feet and goes for the Stank U, but Cole wiggles out like Vince McMahon at a steroids hearing…Cole slides off and catches Stank with a chop to his knee…timber. Stank goes down his knees, Cole is down…Cole kips up and hits Stank with a bulldog while Stank is on his knees. Cole grabs the big man and puts him into his Crossface Chickenwing…Cole needs to keep his man down on the mat. He has a better chance of winning if he can take away Stank’s power game…Stank is in pain…Cole has the move clinched in…Ref holds Stank’s arm up once….twice…oh he barely got up on the third attempt…Stank holding on…reaching out for the ropes…he is just barely out of reach…oh wait he got em…ref calls for the break…1…2….3….4…finally Cole breaks the hold. Stank slides out of the ring, grabbing at his shoulder, he may be done. He’s trying to walk it off, but his face tells the story…this man is in PAIN!...Cole slides out after him, hits Stank with a double axe handle to the back…big man is reeling…Ref is counting 2….3…Chris grabs Stank by the hair and attempts to hit him face first into the steel stairs…NO blocked…and now Stank hits Cole into the stairs…oh my you hear the sound of flesh meeting metal…8…9…Stank slides into the ring to stop the count and rolls right back out…Cole is up but he’s bloody…mmmm bloody cut above his right eye…Stank comes charging after him…Cole hits him with another drop toe hole and bam just a quick as Steve Austin’s acting career Stank hits the same steel steps. Both men are staggering outside the ring, it appears that Stank has also given an offering of blood to the wrestling Gods tonight…Cole slides into the ring. Cole bounces off the ring ropes and dives…high flying with a high rent move…cross body on Stank both men crash through the announcer’s table…folks we have bodies, plywood and equipment everywhere…Ref is counting again…5….6….Stank is moving…7….8….Cole is moving…Stank grabs Cole and plants him on to the area floor with a Stank U…Cole is DOWN…Stank staggers into the ring…that’s it! Ref calls for the bell, Cole has been counted out…Stank gets his arm raised in victory…but if you ask me the only winner here was the steel steps… WINNER in 20:11 by count out - Stank CONCRETE TG vs. BLITZ "With Jupiter in Mind" by Joe Satriani blares over the sound system, and Concrete Tataken-Gryfon marches out, accompanied by a shitload of pyro. He punches the air during a pronounced power chord, and makes his way to the ring, slapping hands and posing for the fans on the way down. After he enters the ring, "Infected" by Bad Religion plays, and Blitz runs down the ramp and slides into the ring and poses from the top rope. Yes, the Heroes Guild is here, ready to wow and inspire with an example of clean, technical skill. Both men shake hands, and head to their corners. Referee Mel Creech calls for the bell, and this match is underway. Blitz wants a test of strength, and Concrete is only too happy to oblige. It's even at first, but Concrete starts to get the advantage, so Blitz pulls back, kicks away the locked hands, and quickly monkey flips Crete. Both men spring to their feet, and Blitz scoots around Crete and takes him over with a schoolboy. This doesn't even get a one count, and Blitz charges and gets arm dragged for his troubles. Crete keeps the arm hold applied and Blitz fights to his feet, as he does, Crete wrenches the arm, runs up the nearby turnbuckle, and back flips off and arm drags Blitz again. Will we have... yes, it's the INDY WANKER STANDOFF. The crowd pops huge for this, and both men begin circling each other. Collar and elbow tie up (is that the term, anyway it's a lock-up) and Blitz goes behind Crete. Crete reaches up and snaps him over in a snap mare, then dropkicks the seated Blitz in the back. Blitz gets up and Crete tries an Irish whip, it's reversed, and Blitz impressively takes the big man up for a tilt-a-world backbreaker. Blitz with a standing moonsault press, one, two, and Crete kicks out. Blitz drags up Crete and Irish whips him, again it's reversed, and Crete drop toe holds Bryce into the second rope. He hits the ropes and hits a C-T-G! and lands on the apron. Crete signals, then springboards in with a dropkick and Blitz hits the ground. Crete hooks the leg, one, two, but Blitz kicks out. Concrete brings up Blitz, only to lift him up in the air and drop him with a lifting DDT. Crete covers, but again Blitz kicks out, showing remarkable tenacity. Crete decides it's time for the Cement Mixer! He pulls up Blitz and locks on the half-nelson. Cement Mixer connects, and Crete holds it for the pin! But Blitz kicks out at two and a half. Crete makes a gesture of respect, then hauls up the barely standing Blitz. Crete with the Irish whip, and on the rebound leapfrogs him and charges in the opposite direction, so he doesn't see Blitz come up with the springboard moonsault out of nowhere! What tremendous ring awareness! Blitz doesn't waste a second before dropping in a corkscrew, elbowing Crete in the chest. Blitz with the pin, one, two, and no, Crete barely gets the shoulder up. Crete starts to get up, but Blitz hits the ropes and uses the momentum for a Shiner! Crete goes back down. Blitz makes his way to the outside, and then climbs to the top rope. Russ: Bah Gawd, this could be the Blitz Flip! What an upset this would be! Razz: This move is off the chain! Blitz leaps and connects with the shooting star off the top rope! One, two, thr- no, Crete kicks out at two and a half. Russ: These two gentlemen are showing us the power of determination and integrity here tonight, Razz. Razz: Integ-what? Blitz is hauls up the Heroes Guild leader. He's looking for a brain buster, but halts in mid air and bounces Crete off the ropes instead. Russ: Could this be a slingshot brain buster? Razz: Shades of the great Johnny Adrenaline! But no! Crete uses the momentum of the bounce to twist and land behind Blitz. Waist lock is followed by a wheelbarrow lift, this is an attempt at the Backwall, folks. Except Blitz counters into a victory roll. One, two, three! What an upset! Crete is quickly up, and there's absolutely no staredown at all before he lifts up Blitz's arm in victory. The two men exit the ring and head to the back to raucous cheers. WINNER in 22:01 - Blitz TYTAN vs. CHRIS EVANS “The Trooper” fires up throughout the arena, and “Lionheart” Chris Evans comes down to the ring to a nice ovation. Regardless of who he hangs around with, people seem to like the “Cubheart” for whatever reason. He makes his way into the ring and bounces off the ropes a couple of times. “The Fight Inside” starts, and Tytan stands at the top of the ramp with Mr. Biggs. Pyro goes off, and they both make their way down to the ring to a strongly mixed reaction. Those who love him, love him, and those who hate him, REALLY hate him. Tytan climbs in, and just stares down Evans. Referee Junior Hale is satisfied that both men are conscious, and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! The two men slowly circle to start before they lock up. Tytan gets the leverage advantage, and SHOVES Evans into the corner. Tytan stands there with a smug look on his face, and does some sort of self-serving pose that most of the crowd shits on. Evans give Tytan the “legitimate” fake applause and takes a couple of steps from the corner. Tytan tries to catch Evans sleeping, and CHARGES with a Clothesline, but Evans ducks it, and just BLASTS Tytan with a JUMPING BACK ELBOW. Tytan staggers but doesn’t drop. Evans takes a quick look and hits a CYCLONE OF CHAOS! That drops Tytan for sure. Evans rolls to his feet and goes right over to Tytan’s leg. He rolls Tytan over and Locks In A…ugh…SINGLE-LEG BOSTON CRAB. Fuck you Lance Storm. Fuck you. Evans has it cinched in well but, of course, since he’s only got one leg, the other one is FREE TO KICK EVANS OFF WITH. I hope they learn someday. I really do. Evans is kicked all the way into the ropes, and Tytan is up. Tytan’s got the jump on Evans, and starts stomping away. He picks up Evans and hits a BIG BACK SUPLEX, and it looks like Evans landed on his head. Tytan’s wasting no time, pulls Evans up and hits an UNDERHOOK SUPLEX for good measure. He pulls up Evans again, and WHIPS him into the corner! Evans hit so hard that he flipped upside-down, and Tytan is immediately on him, and TIES HIM UP IN THE TREE OF WOE! That means it’s time for the CORPORATE FALLOUT, and it’s really quite the beating – backstrikes and sharp, short kicks seem to dominate the beatdown, and Evans is in rough shape. Finally Hale pulls Evans out of the ropes, and orders Tytan to the other side of the ring. Evans is freed, but just collapses to the mat after the beating. Tytan is wasting no time as he sprints across the ring to get a couple more stomps in. He sits Evans on the top turnbuckle and is quick to join him. He locks in a Half-Nelson and HITS THE CRASH AND BURN! Ouch. Tytan covers, and that just gets two. Evans rolls out to the floor and tries to gather himself, but he never sees Tytan OR his SUICIDE DIVE! It connects, and if this were WWE or TNA, we’d go to commercial…but NOT HERE, BABY! In fact, Tytan is already moving around, and is just SLAMMING Evans in the face with punches. He pulls Evans up and hits a FLAPJACK ON THE STEEL STEPS! Ow Ow OW! Evans sells it like his face was just shot off. Well done, rookie. Tytan is NOT done, and pulls Evans up once more…CHOKESLAM ON THE STEEL STEPS! That has GOT to be it. Tytan bundles the lifeless Evans into the ring. He makes some rude gestures to the crowd before slowly climbing into the ring. However, just as he’s about to get to Evans… PA: FIYAHHHHHHHHH! Firewoman’s music fires up, and Tytan immediately shifts focus and looks to the ramp. A few seconds later, Firewoman DOES show up at the top of the ramp, carrying a STEEL CHAIR. She holds it menacingly and Tytan is talking all sorts of trash from the ring; the bulk of which translates to “Me Wanty Fighty”. She gets all the way to the ring apron, with Tytan grabbing at her. But instead, Firewoman opens the chair, and gives herself the best seat in the house. Tytan is BEGGING for a fight in the ring, and gesticulating wildly at Firewoman; who is clearly in control and clearly not interested. She’s just watching the match. Tytan is incredulous, until Firewoman points. Tytan points at himself and flips out, but Fire shakes her head and points again. Suddenly Tytan’s face just drops, and he slowly turns around. Evans greets him with the EYE OF THE STORM! Tytan is ROCKED! Evans hits the CHAIN OF OLYMPUS and is REALLY cinching back on the STF! Tytan is in trouble. HUGE trouble. He’s trying to move but can’t; trying to bridge but can’t. 2 more minutes go by and with Hale in his ear…Tytan has NO choice but to tap out! WINNER in 13:49 by SUBMISSION…”Lionheart” Chris Evans! Post-Match, Firewoman folds up her chair and walks up the ramp, with Evans watching from the ring. While Evans is celebrating, he doesn’t notice that Tytan has slipped out of the ring and come back in with a chair. Evans jumps off the turnbuckle and turns around and Tytan SLAMS him with the chair! The sound echoes loud enough that Firewoman turns around and looks at what is going on in the ring, her mouth dropping open. Tytan pulls Evans off the mat and lifts him up and hits the STEINER SCREWDRIVER on the chair! Evans neck twists awkwardly as he hits the steel, and he lies on the mat twitching. Fire drops her chair and runs back to the ring and slides under the ropes and her and Tytan start throwing down. Security quickly floods the ring and after considerable effort, pulls the two of them apart. BRYCE LARSON vs. PHANTOS Phantos hits the ring first, accompanied by Lucios. As Bryce makes his way down, Lucios leaves, at Phantos’ request. Lucios stops on the stage, finally leaving when Hightower calls for the bell. Phantos extends a hand to Bryce, and Bryce accepts! The crowd is shocked, but provides applause for both men. They lock-up and Phantos ducks a kick. Phantos responds with a dropkick that takes out Bryce’s legs, followed up by a dropkick to a seated Larson. Bryce decides to head to the outside to take an unofficial timeout. Phantos charges, but flips off the ropes and stays in the ring, faking out Bryce and the Springfield crowd. Bryce reenters the ring, and they lock-up once more. This time Bryce hits an arm drag on Phantos, who immediately pops up and armdrags Bryce in return. Bryce is up as Phantos runs the ropes. Bryce goes for a hip toss, but Phantos shifts his weight and rolls up Bryce. Bryce rolls through at 2, and gets a 2 count of his own. Both men are up to their feet, and lock-up after a brief standoff. Phantos pushes off the lock-up, but they lock-up for a third time. This time, Bryce slips behind into a hammerlock, but Phantos grabs the head and flips over Bryce’s back. Bryce immediately hits the ropes, and ducks under a leapfrog by Phantos. On the rebound, Phantos takes Bryce over with a hip toss, but Bryce lands on his feet and hooks Phantos’s arm, spinning into a backslide for two! Phantos pops up and locks Bryce into a small package for a nearfall! Phantos doesn’t let up, running the ropes again. Bryce ducks for a backdrop, but Phantos hits a high sunset flip for two. Bryce sits up and locks in Phantos’s legs for a nearfall as well! It was so close that Bryce, Phantos and the crowd all think it’s over, but Hightower signals for two! Bryce agrues, so Phantos grabs him for a hip toss! Bryce goes up and over, but lands on his feet, hip tossing Phantos in return. But this time it’s Phantos who land son his feet, and takes Bryce over. Bryce lands on his feet again and takes Phantos over once more, but this time he tosses Phantos over the top rope! Phantos hits the floor, and Bryce connects with a baseball slide to the outside. Bryce sits Phantos on a chair, and charges towards him. Phantos slips down, and drops Bryce face first to the chair! Phantos is up to the ring apron, and as Bryce gets to his feet Phantos connects with a standing Shooting Star Press to the floor! Both men are down as the crowd chants “Holy Shit” to what they just saw! Phantos is up first, and picks Bryce up by the hair. He leans Bryce against the announce table, and charges from about 20 feet away. He launches off of a chair placed about five feet away from Bryce, but Bryce moves at the last minute and Phantos lands on the announce table. It doesn’t break! Bryce roll s in, breaking the count. Bryce then springboards to the top rope, jumping off with a 450 splash onto a standing Phantos! The crowd goes batshit as Bryce is the first one to get up after that collision. Bryce makes it to the inside first, followed by Phantos. As Phantos crawls into the ring, Bryce connects with a legdrop to the back of his head. Bryce snapmares Phantos over, and nails a stiff kick right between the shoulder blades. Bryce then hangs Phantos in the corner with his legs over the top turnbuckle. Bryce climbs up top and kicks Phantos in the knee, causing him to sit up. Double Stomp! Bryce covers and gets two! Bryce hoists Phantos up and connects with a Michinoku Driver for a two count! Bryce lifts Phantos up to the top rope and signals for The Transporter, but Phantos kicks him back. Phantos stands on the second rope, jumps—spinning in mid air—and comes off the top rope with a moonsault onto a standing Bryce. Both men go down and Phantos hooks the leg on the way down, getting two. Phantos hits a running knee that sends Bryce into the corner. Phantos then charges from the opposite corner, connecting with double knees to the chest! Phantos suplexes Bryce into position, and heads up top. As Phantos climbs the ropes, the OOWF-TV cameras catch a glimpse of the stage, and we see that all of the members of Run DEA have made their way out, but are watching from the stage. Back in the ring, Phantos comes off the top, and connects with a 450 splash onto Bryce! 1…2…NO! Bryce kicks out—just in time. As Bryce slowly gets up, Phantos lifts him for a bodyslam, but Bryce floats over and pushes Phantos chest first into the corner. As Phantos bounces out, Bryce connects with a lung-blower! With Phantos down, Bryce climbs up the turnbuckles from inside the ring, eventually spring boarding up into a handstand. Bryce then pushes off into a Handstand Shooting Star Press! Phantos is down, but only for a two count! Bryce can’t believe it, and charges at Phantos with a clothesline. Phantos ducks and connects with the Triple Dropkick, taking Bryce down. Phantos heads up and comes off the top with a Phoenix Splash as Firewoman marks out on the stage! The move lands, but Bryce is able to kick out. Phantos puts Bryce down again, and heads up, signaling for the Somersault Legdrop. Bryce catches on, getting up and shaking the rope, causing Phantos to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. Bryce climbs the ropes and has Phantos in position for a superplex, but Phantos is punching his ribs to break out of it. They stand face to face, and Phantos connects with a headbutt that sends Bryce off of the top rope. Phantos then climbs back to the top turnbuckle and dives off, connecting with the Spiral Tap! Phantos hooks Bryce’s leg with one arm, and his head with the other. Hightower counts, but Bryce gets a shoulder up at two. Phantos leans back, pushing Bryce’s shoulders back down for two, but Bryce rolls him through for a crucifix style pin, getting two when Phantos’s feet are in the ropes. Bryce gets to his feet as Phantos starts to get up. Before he can, Bryce kicks him square in the head! Phantos is dazed, and Bryce sends him across to the opposite corner. Bryce charges into the corner, but Phantos moves and Bryce connects with the turnbuckle. Phantos then sends Bryce across, but Bryce grabs the top rope and jumps up as Phantos makes it into the corner. Bryce twists around and hits a sunset flip style pin on Phantos, who immediately rolls through and connects with a dropkick to Bryce’s face. Phantos is on top as Bryce gets to his feet. Phantos comes off the top with a Somersault Hurricanrana, hooking Bryce’s legs as he rolls through. Bryce’s momentum takes him over, and he ends up on top of Phantos as both men are all tied up like a pretzel! Hightower counts…1…2…3! WINNER in 33:33 – Bryce Larson Both men stare at each other in amazement as Hightower raises Bryce’s hand. They stand face to face in the center of the ring, and every single fan in the arena is giving them a standing ovation. Bryce extends his hand as the members of Run DEA stand on the edge of the ramp, looking to see what Phantos does. Phantos shakes Bryce’s hand, and they exchange man hugs much to the delight of the crowd! As Phantos raises Bryce’s arm in victory, each member of Run DEA provides both men with a standing ovation of their own while Bryce and Phantos make their way back. They stop on the stage, where Run DEA stands. Phantos immediately goes to Lucios and Davin Moreland grabs Bryce. The Darlings, Firewoman and Chris Evans look at all four men, until Alexis pulls out a Run DEA shirt (sponsored by Aquafina). Firewoman grabs the shirt away from her, but Davin gives her a quick glare. Firewomen then walks over and hands the shirt to Bryce! Bryce, shirt in hand, embraces with Phantos once more as they all head to the back. SYB vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK Moosehead Jack is announced first and makes his way to the ring and slumps in the corner waiting for his victi……errr….opponent. SYB is announced, and he comes out from the back, surprisingly alone, and runs to the ring. SYB slides under the bottom rope and makes a bee line toward Moose, and hammers him with punches to the head. Moose bails out of the ring to escape the onslaught, and SYB gets a running start and dives between the ropes at Moose, but Jack side steps and SYB crashes into the railing head first. Moose pulls SYB to his feet then nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. Moose glares at the fallen SYB, then rummages under the ring and comes out with a cheese grater and some athletic tape. This is not going to end well. Moose pulls SYB to his feet and sends him into the stairs, then grabs him and holds the cheese grater to his forehead, and wraps the athletic tape around his head so it stays in place. Moose lets SYB fall back to the floor, then looks around at the crowd for a moment, then STOMPS THE SHIT OUT OF THE CHEESE GRATER!! SYB howls in pain as blood pours down his face! Moose pulls him to his feet and rolls him into the ring, then follows and drops an elbow on him and covers, but SYB manages to kick out at two. Moose pulls him up, cheese grater still attached to his head, and sends him into the corner. Moose charges in, but SYB side steps and Moose crashes sternum first to the corner. As he staggers backward, SYB grabs him, traps his arms, and repeatedly HEAD BUTTS HIM WITH THE CHEESE GRATER STILL ATTACHED TO HIS HEAD. Moose staggers away, blood running down his forehead. SYB charges across the ring and clips Moose’s leg, sending him to the mat. SYB tears the grater and tape off his head, then uses the tape to choke Moose. The referee gives SYB the five count, and he breaks it on four. SYB pulls Moose to his feet and chokes him on the top rope, then slingshots him back into the ring. SYB points to the cheese grater stomped flat on the mat and yells at the referee to get rid of it. When he turns to kick it out of the ring, SYB hits Moose with the JERSEY TURNPIKE! Moose slumps to his knees, and SYB hits the ropes and hits a falling clothesline that sends him to the mat. SYB covers, but Moose kicks out at one. SYB pulls Moose to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes, but Moose reverses it and pulls SYB back and SMASHES him in the face with a forearm shot! SYB staggers back and more blood pours out of his nose, he is a mess now, pushing Bill Alfonso levels of gore. Moose charges again and NAILS SYB in the head with a high knee that sends him between the ropes to the floor. Moose follows him to the floor where SYB is crawling toward the apron. Moose lands one stiff kick to the ribs that sends SYB to the floor. Moose waits for SYB to get to his hands and knees again, then lines up another one and charges, but SYB moves out of the way and grabs a kendo stick from beneath the ring and BURIES it in Moose’s midsection, then grabs Moose by the head, leaps to the apron and hits a MAZELTOV DROP on the floor! (acid drop). Moose is barely moving, while SYB gets to his feet and staggers a bit, then breaks the ref’s count before sliding back out of the ring. Probably should have taken the count out win there big guy. SYB seems hell-bent on doing more damage. He slips back out of the ring and sets up a table and then pulls out a ladder. Not really sure when this became a hardcore match, but the referee seems pretty content to allow it to be one. SYB rolls Moose onto the table then climbs the ladder. SYB turns around and tries a MOONSAULT! But Moose moves out of the way and SYB CRASHES through the table! HOLY SHIT! The crowd pops, and SYB is likely dead. Moose scoops the remains off the floor and rolls him back into the ring. Instead of covering though, Moose pulls SYB to his feet and hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! Moose is finally about to cover, when he seems to get an idea. SYB is dead, but Moose is not done. He slides out of the ring and slides several…..oh hell no……several light tubes into the ring, must be about a dozen of them. Moose stacks them in a nice pile in the middle of the ring, then pulls SYB to his feet, stares at him for a second, then grabs a front face lock and DDT’S SYB INTO THE PILE OF LIGHT TUBES! SYB writhes in agony because his face is probably cut off. Moose doesn’t escape unharmed either, he has long cuts on his side and the back of his arm. He pounces on SYB and locks him in the ji-endo, and when he pulls SYB back and we see his face, well SYB looks like a shotgun blast victim. Full on Alfonso. SYB doesn’t have enough strength left to fight it, and quickly succumbs. The referee calls for the bell, and this one is over. WINNER in 10:54 – Moosehead Jack NAYR vs. SKURGE “The Bridge of Khazad Dum” comes over the PA, and Nayr, the Halfling Luchador comes down the ramp to a pretty nice response. The Charter Heroes Guild Member does some flippy shit to get into the ring, and bounces around like he’s hyped up on Red Bull. Well, probably because he is. The music quickly cuts out, and is replaced with “Bawitdaba”, and Skurge comes to the top of the ramp. He’s greeted with a THUNDEROUS ovation (probably thanks to his win over Alexander Darling last week), and Skurge floats down the ramp and into the ring, posing on a turnbuckle. Referee Mel Creech says “close enough” and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Nayr FLIES across the ring and DRILLS Skurge with a Pearl Harbor Dropkick; and Skurge is lucky he didn’t fall out of the ring. In one motion, Nayr snaps off a HURRICARANA, and Skurge splatters on the mat. Nayr one-hops the turnbuckle, and leaps and HITS a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Quick cover, and that gets one-and-a-half. Skurge kicked out hard, but is having a tough time getting up. Nayr hits the far ropes and BLISTERS Skurge with a SHINING WIZARD. Skurge’s eyes roll back in his head. Nayr ducks out to the apron to hit a SEATED SENTON BACKSPLASH! Nayr covers again, and this time he gets a long 2-count. Nayr, frustrated, slaps the mat but bounces right back up. He hits a DOUBLE JUMP SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! The ricochet sends Nayr completely off of Skurge. Nayr doesn’t hesitate, and hits the top rope. He takes off and hits a 450 SPLASH! It’s ANOTHER cover, and another cover which gets another long 2-count. Nayr can’t believe it, because he’s busting out all the “Flippy Shit Greatest Hits” here. He slaps the mat once more and heads for the top. This time he leaps and tries for the MORDOR HANGOVER, but he lands on his ass, because Skurge is able to roll out of the way and onto the floor outside. Nayr shakes it off and sees Skurge struggling outside. He hits the far ropes and takes off for a TOPE CON HILO! Skurge stands straight up, as he’s been playing a little bit of possum. He CATCHES Nayr while he’s upside-down and PILEDRIVES him into the floor! Skurge was only playing a little bit of possum, and he immediately falls to the floor. Commercial? Not in the OOWF BABY! Creech kinda starts counting, occasionally forgetting what number he’s on. Skurge is finally up first and slides into the ring at, we think, “5”. Nayr’s not far behind, and he’s quickly to the top turnbuckle. He tries to take off as Skurge’s back is turned, but the big man CATCHES Nayr again as he tries for a FLYING CROSS BODY. Skurge evens Nayr’s weight out, and hits a HUGE FALLAWAY SLAM! Skurge ambles over to Nayr, and TOSSES him into the corner like a ragdoll. Skurge just ASSAULTS Nayr in the corner with CHOPS and SPINNING BACKFISTS, and you can start to see welts forming on Nayr’s chest. Nayr stumbles out of the corner, and Skurge hits a GIANT POWER SLAM. Skurge growls and the crowd gets to their feet. Skurge scoops up Nayr like a sack o’ potatoes and hits a RUNNING SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! He pulls Nayr up again, and hits a HUGE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX that shakes the ring! Skurge is working quickly, and NAILS Nayr with a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Skurge is NOT DONE! He hooks in a near-lifeless Nayr again, and hits a TRIPLE POWERBOMB! Skurge eschews the cover and WHIPS Nayr into the corner, and NAILS him with a HUGE SPLASH! Skurge WHIPS him to the other corner and hits ANOTHER HUGE SPLASH! He leans Nayr against the turnbuckle again and just BLISTERS him with chops. Skurge sits Nayr on the top turnbuckle, and quickly joins him. Skurge hoists Nayr onto his shoulder and leaps…hitting a GIGANTIC FLYING CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB! My goodness. Skurge pulls up Nayr one last time…and LOCKS IN THE EXECUTIONER! Nayr regains consciousness just long enough to tap out. WINNER in 9:42 by SUBMISSION…Skurge! ALEXIS DARLING vs. FF CAPSLOCK A voice calls out over the P.A. "There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home." Alexis Darling appears at the top of the ramp, bathed in gothy red light. The music for "Life Is Beautiful" hits and she strides confidently down the ramp, followed by Firewoman. She walks seductively up the stairs, as Firewoman jumps up to the apron and holds the ropes open for her. These two are definitely making a show of it tonight. Firewoman helps Alexis off with her cloak, gives her a nod, and a look that is just smoking, blows her a kiss, and then makes her way back down to the corner. Alexis acknowledges the boos of the fans with disdain. Until a cannon fires, and "For Those About To Rock" hits the air, and "The Pride of Fresno" FF Capslock comes down the ring. He greets the cheering fans, slapping hands as he heads to the ring. Alexis looks at him with a mixture of anger and disgust. The referee gives whatever opening remarks referees do, and calls for the bell. The two go to the center of the ring for the traditional opening lock up but something just isn't right. All 6'11 of Caps looks down at all 5'7" of Alexis, and starts to laugh. A lot. Alexis stares up with him, darkness in her eyes, and smiles. As he's laughing, Alexis moves lighting fast, kicking one knee, and then sweeping him, bringing the big man down to size. Caps hits the canvas with a loud *SMACK*. Alexis puts her very stylish boots to Caps, kicking him around the world. He rolls toward the ropes, and Alexis sees her opportunity and jumps over him, scaling the ropes quickly and MOONSAULT! She tries for a pin, but Caps kicks out at two. Alexis applies some more boots, then stands, her foot between his shoulder blades, and she yanks back on either arm. Caps struggles, but she's got it held so the more he struggles, the worse it gets. Finally, Caps realizes just how close to the ropes he is and manages to get a foot on the bottom rope. The referee sees this and calls for the break. Alexis nods, with a gleam in her eye, and does just that...with a CURBSTOMP. Caps' face hits the canvas and he rolls back to the center, dramatically alternating between holding his nose and his neck. A slight trickle of blood can be seen from his nose, and as he wipes it off, he glares at Alexis, no longer happy-go-lucky Caps. Caps is up on one knee, facing the camera, and the near ropes. Before he can stand, Alexis runs to the near ropes (he's on the right side of the ring) and slingshot dropkicks him in the chin. He falls to the side, and is now in proper 6-1-9 position. But this isn't WWE. She runs toward, leaps over the top rope, and drops a leg across the back of his head, guillotining him on the middle rope. Caps falls backward, as Alexis dives back into the ring under the bottom rope and goes for the pin again, one...two...NO! He gets a shoulder up. Alexis looks at Firewoman, who shouts something. Alexis spies her opportunity and gets Caps legs to try and set up the DARLING CLUTCH. She almost gets them situated to flip Caps over, but not yet! Caps gets a leg free and kicks Alexis hard toward the ring post. She hits hard and bounces off, staggering backward but turning. Caps is up, but not quite ready so he greets Alexis with the SPIRIT OF FRESNO! She grabs her eye and reels back. Firewoman jumps up on the apron to protest, but the ref tells her to get down. He turns to admonish Caps who makes the international symbol of "my bad, I got carried away." The ref moves, and Caps runs toward Alexis who's still in the corner for a BACK ELBOW! She falls, he rolls her over for a pin one...two...no! as Alexis gets a shoulder up. Caps drags her toward the middle of the ring, and then bounces off a rope for a LEG DROP! Then he crosses over to the other ropes and ELBOW DROP! Finally, gets to the other side, and goes for another leg drop, but Alexis has rolled out of the way. He goes for the pin, but Alexis rakes his face with her nails, hidden from view of the referee. Caps reels backward, holding his cheek, and Alexis stands. She manages to drive him backward with a couple of European uppercuts, but with a foot and half size difference, those don't have much power by the time they connect. When she goes for the third, Caps blocks it, shakes his finger at her, and shoves her backward hard, into the ropes. She bounces off and back to the center, into a CLOTHESLINE FROM FRESNO, that flattens her. With blood on his face from his nose and Alexis' nails, he grabs her by the legs and locks in the FIGURE FORESKIN. Alexis' flexibility works for her for a while, but Caps size advantage eventually wins out, as her struggling gets weaker. Firewoman bangs on the ring apron some encouragement, but it's not enough, and eventually Alexis has to tap out. WINNER in 9:51 – FF Capslock After the match, Caps is still not pleased about his bloodletting, and refuses to release the hold at first. Firewoman is up on the apron and under the ropes in a flash, but she's not faster than Alexis who, once the hold is released, nails Caps with the BITCHSLAP OF DISRESPECT. She gets his blood on her hand and wipes it across her face. Firewoman hands her her cloak, and they leave the ring.
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Jack Quinn Feb 11, 2009 20:00:23 GMT -5 |
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ALEXANDER DARLING vs. SKURGE
“Bawitdaba” comes over the PA, and the crowd gets to their feet as IHOP member Skurge makes his way down the ramp. He slaps some hands and caters to the crowd a bit, but he looks very focused for this rare Singles match. He nods to Angelo Barros, who’s leaning against a turnbuckle. Skurge turns toward the ramp to await his opponent. The music starts and a white strobe light begins to bounce through the arena. We hear ”There Can Be Only One” which leads directly into ”Prelude 12/21.” The drum beat of Prelude hits, but oddly, there’s no Darling. He’s probably just being fashionably late. The wait for Darling continues until we hear Darling over the PA. AD: Call ME Alexis, you disrespectful piece of shit? BOOYAH, Bitch! We hear a microphone drop and suddenly the lights come on, just as Darling is landing a SLINGSHOT DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF SKURGE’S HEAD! Darling came through the crowd! He is just PEPPERING the back of Skurge’s head with punches, and finally resorts to simply smashing Skurge’s head into the mat. The crowd is shitting all over this, but clearly, Darling doesn’t really care. He’s now stomping and kicking Skurge’s head. Finally Barros, who let a lot of this go, has to pull Darling off. Darling shoves Barros off, and pulls Skurge into a Surfboard Hold…MOTHERFUCKIN CURBSTOMP! Darling quickly rolls Skurge over and looks to cover. We see blood covering Skurge’s face. The cover gets a long 2, and Skurge tries to crawl away. Darling’s having none of this and locks on the DARLING MONEY CLIP! Darling is near the ropes, but Skurge is facing the wrong way, and is in HUGE trouble. Barros leans in to check on Skurge, and Darling heels it up by grabbing the ropes for additional leverage. He lets go when Barros looks over, and this repeats a couple of times until Barros actually catches him, and gives him a long 5 count to break. Darling finally does, but he’s not done, as he just starts stomping away at Skurge, the assault continuing. Darling’s finally satisfied, and tries to cover again. AGAIN, this gets a very long 2, and Skurge tries to crawl away. Darling’s not interested in letting this happen at all. He tries to lock in the DARLING MONEY CLIP again, but this time Skurge is able to kick Darling off, and bundle out to the floor. Skurge tries to reorganize and wipe the blood off his face, but Darling has regrouped and hits a TOPE CON HILO to the outside. Darling goes back to the punchy offense again, but eventually, Skurge is able to block one, and the bigger man just SHOVES Darling off of him; and Skurge stumbles the other way to regroup. Darling’s only got one speed tonight, and quickly bounces to his feet and goes after Skurge again, but Skurge counters with a tremendous SPINNING SPINEBUSTER which used most of Darling’s momentum against him. Skurge, still reeling, again, just walks away. Darling has to recover from the big Spine buster, but when he does, again just runs full-speed at Skurge. Again, Skurge sees him coming, and takes two steps forward, catches, and hits a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX which sends Darling all the way to the Barrier. That one hurt, and Darling isn’t getting up right away. Skurge rolls into the ring, and Barros starts a count. Darling is slow to get back. Darling DOES get back to the ring at 7, and Skurge, all the way across the ring trying to gather his bearings, sees him coming. Darling makes a half-hearted attempt to run at Skurge again, but it ends up in a lockup. Skurge is about to shove Darling across the ring, but Darling buries a knee in his gut. Darling quickly hits a DDT. He covers, but that gets a pedestrian 2. Darling is up relatively quickly, and locks Skurge in. He tries to get Skurge up for a POWERBOMB, but that’s not going to happen, and Skurge easily sends him over for a BACK BODY DROP, but Darling HANGS ON FOR A SUNSET FLIP! A shocked Skurge just barely does kick out, and Darling slaps the mat. Skurge gets up, and eats a YAKUZA KICK for his trouble. Luckily for him, he ends up under the ropes, so Darling doesn’t even consider a cover. He does drag Skurge away though, and tries for another DARLING MONEY CLIP. Skurge has this scouted by now, and kicks Darling off. Darling ends up hitting and facing a turnbuckle. He doesn’t see Skurge running top speed for a HUGE SPLASH! Darling stumbles out of the corner. Skurge gets him on his shoulder, and hits SNAKE EYES! Skurge hits the near ropes and LEVELS Darling with a CLOTHESLINE! The cover gets 2. He pulls Darling to his feet, but Darling fires back with BIG RIGHT HANDS! Skurge is ROCKED and actually spins around. Darling closes in. He puts his hand on Skurge’s throat. He’s going for a Darling Driver? He gets Skurge almost all the way up…and Skurge pulls on Darling’s neck! SMALL PACKAGE! 1, 2, 3!!! Just as Darling kicks out! Skurge peels up the aisle with the HUGE upset! WINNER in 14:47 by PINFALL…SKURGE! ALEXIS DARLING vs. “LOVE MACHINE” BILLY WAYNE WOODARD To the shock of no one, Billy Wayne Woodard is already in the ring as Sixx AM’s “Life is Beautiful” starts and Alexis Darling steps into the arena. Alexis is in a skintight black and gold bodysuit and Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson who is actually wearing a New York Jets Brett Favre jersey is accompanying her. Wow, that’s some cheap old-school heel heat and the crowd is frothing at the mouth to get at Shawn. Luckily security is big here in Wisconsin due to the beer and cheese so Alexis and OGM SJ get to the ring untouched by the unwashed masses. OGM SJ rubs Alexis’ shoulders as she waits in the corner for the bell and it is finally called for by Angelo Barros. OGM SJ hops off the apron and Alexis does a somersault roll out of the corner before hopping up and meeting “The Love Machine” in the center of the ring. Well that’s an interesting way to start the match and they lock up. And The Love Machine lives up to his nickname as he starts rubbing the neck in a very suggestive manner. Alexis looks disgusted as she pushed Billy away. She takes a second before getting back in there and she locks BWW in a side headlock, but he doesn’t seem to mind this position as he takes a hold of Alexis’ backside. Again AD pushes him away and complains to Barros about the tactics of “The Love Machine.” Barros says there is nothing he can do and that just makes the look of disgust from TLM BWW transfer to Angelo. Alexis turns around just in time to catch an approaching Woodard with a snap arm drag. Both get back to their feet and Alexis hits a standing dropkick as soon as Billy Wayne gets back to his feet. And she drops down and plants her elbow right across BWW’s throat. He doesn’t seem to making any unwanted advances anymore as the elbow digs deep into his windpipe. Barros counts and Lexie finally lets go at four. Ms. Darling does not seem happy as she lifts Billy up by the hair are starts striking away with some knife hand chops. Woodard takes a few before reversing positions and hitting a few of his own. But he throws his own flava into the chops by sliding his hand over Lexie’s chest after each chop. You can see her face get beet red as she fires out of the corner with a straight right to Billy’s face. And quite possibly for the very first time ever in a Darling match, it’s the opponent’s nose that shatters. “The Love Machine” puts his hands to his face and he sees the blood pooling in his hand and he has no time to reach when Lexie rushes out of the corner and takes him down with a clothesline. She picks BWW up and locks in a double under hook before lifting Woodard up and over in a Butterfly Suplex. She floats over with the move and lifts Love Machine back up in the air. She changes her hand positioning and DARLING (VOODOO) DROP plants Woodard and his neck snaps in a precarious position. Alexis rolls over and makes the cover… 1… 2… Billy slides his shoulder out and gets off the mat. LD lifts BWW back up and whips him towards the ropes, but she puts head down to soon and Billy hits a kick that staggers Alexis back. He follows it up with a spinning leg lariat, taking Darling off her feet. He stands over her and does some pelvic thrusts. Alexis goes for a kick to get TLM BWW away but he grabs the foot and rolls Lexie back before grabbing her in a front face lock and taking her over with a vertical suplex. He doesn’t let go and he yells out something about Latino Heat when he tries for a second, but Alexis blocks it with a few strikes to Billy’s midsection. Alexis works it so she’s behind BWW now and she locks his arms across his chest…STRAIGHT-JACKET GERMAN SUPLEX. Lexie bridges with it and Barros gets down to make the count… One… Two… Th…And Billy Wayne gets his shoulder off the mat. Darling gets back to her feet and she waits for Woodard to get up…kick to the stomach bends “The Love Machine” over at the waist. Alexis locks his arms and spins him around…THE BITCH KILLER and she plants Woodard right on the back of his neck. She rolls him over and makes some pelvic thrusts of her own over the near comatose body of “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard. Once she’s satisfied with that, she makes a nonchalant cover… 1… 2… 3. And this one is over. Moving on in the OOWF Invitational to the second round representing Run DEA is Alexis Darling. She should have quite an interesting match in the 2nd round as she faces the winner of FF Capslock and Eric O’Mac. I wonder what her feelings about that may be. Let’s see if she has any more math for the masses. WINNER in 9:17…Alexis Darling FF CAPSLOCK vs. ERIC O’MAC F. F. Capslock is out first, to a considerable reaction from the crowd. He stops at ringside for a brief word and a beverage with some fans as he waits for his opponent. “C'mon man...Don't call it a comeback!” Eric O'Mac bursts onto the stage and the crowd erupts. Eric greets a few fans and makes his way down the aisle. He and FFC meet in center ring and referee Junior Hale gives them their instructions. He calls for the bell and Eric & FFC exchange a nod and a handshake before they start to circle. They lock up and FFC uses his size advantage to back Eric into the corner. Junior asks for a clean break and gets it. They lock up a second time, and FFC grabs a headlock. Eric shoots him off, and drops below his first pass. He tries leapfrog on the second pass, but FFC catches him. He tries to turn it into a spinning power bomb, but Eric re-reverses into a hurricanrana. Eric rolls to his feet and hits the ropes, driving a knee into FFC's temple. He covers, but FFC tosses him across the ring at one. Both men get to their feet. FFC fakes a lock up and drives a knee into Eric's midsection, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat. He drops a leg across Eric's throat and covers, but Eric rolls a shoulder at two. FFC tries another body slam, but Eric slips out, landing behind him. He pushes FFC to the ropes and rolls him up, but can only hold him for two. Eric puts the boots to FFC, keeping him on the mat. He sits him up and cinches in a chin lock. FFC works his way to his knees and drives an elbow into Eric's midsection. Eric hangs on, so FFC gets his feet under him and drops Eric with a belly-to-back suplex. Amazingly, Eric hangs on, so FFC rolls in the hold, pinning Eric to the mat and forcing him to let go to kick out. Both men get to their feet, but Eric is a little faster and gets in some punches until FFC catches one and drags Eric off balance, lifting him onto his shoulders and hitting an Angle Slam. He covers, but Eric kicks out at two. FFC hauls Eric up and tosses him into the corner. He brutalizes him with a series of body shots and whips him across the ring. Eric runs up the ropes and leaps off into a cross body, but FFC catches him and turns his momentum into a power slam. He hooks the leg, but Eric rolls a shoulder just before the three. FFC stomps on Eric, then pulls him to his feet. He rocks Eric with some clubbing blows, then hoists him for a power bomb. At the top of the move, Eric starts throwing punches. FFC staggers, and Eric manages to reverse the move into a DDT. He rolls FFC over and drives a series of elbows into his chest. He scales the ropes and hits the 5-Star Frogsplash – but FFC gets his knees up! Eric rolls around the ring clutching his midsection, and FFC gets slowly to his feet. FFC goes to the corner and waits for Eric to get up. He gets up a head off steam and attempts a spear but Eric dodges, FFC hits the corner hard and stumbles back, and Eric rolls him up. FFC kicks out at two. Eric presses the attack as FFC fights his way to his feet. FFC starts to take the advantage, so Eric buries a knee in his midsection, then tries an Irish whip. FFC reverses and follows Eric in with an avalanche. FFC sits Eric on the top turnbuckle and climbs up for a superplex, but Eric starts swinging and fights him off. Eric grabs FFC's head and attempts a tornado DDT, but FFC grabs him in the air and manages to reverse it into a sidewalk slam. FFC climbs the turnbuckles and hits the Greetings from Pacific Heights! He hooks the leg and Junior counts One...Two...Three! WINNER, in 14:27, F.F. Capslock. Tournament of Champions Finals[/u] DAVIN MORELAND vs. LD WILLIAMS – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match LD Williams makes his third trip to the ring tonight. He has to be pretty well worn out having wrestled over 35 minutes already tonight. Williams climbs between the ropes, this time he hasn’t even bothered with a bandage on the gash on his head, it looks like it is just superglued shut. Yeah I am sure that will hold. The lights go out and the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Davin Moreland makes his grand, douchebagish entrance. He stands at the top of the ramp with his arms crossed and his head down, then slowly looks up and smirks at the boos. Davin and Samantha Darling make their way to the ring. As the lights come back on, we notice Davin has his ribs HEAVILY taped. Davin steps between the ropes and hands the title to the referee who holds it high in the air. He moves to hand it to the ringside official, but Moreland takes it back and hands it to Samantha Darling, who hops off the apron and heads to the timekeepers table, the title sitting across her lap. Clearly Davin plans on leaving with the title tonight. The referee checks both men, and we get the official announcement, and finally the bell rings and this one is underway. Davin and Williams lock up in the middle of the ring, and Davin pushes Williams to the corner. The referee calls for a clean break, but Davin does not give it, instead he buries a knee into Williams’ midsection, and grabs him for a RGDC, but Williams shoves him off. LD comes out of the corner and connects with a clothesline that staggers Davin, LD snapmares Davin to the mat and locks him in a chin lock. Moreland starts fighting to his feet. And sends Williams to the ropes, and catches him with a big boot to the face that sends LD to the mat. Davin immediately covers, but LD kicks out at one, Davin covers a second time, and LD kicks out again, Davin covers a third time, and LD kicks out at two this time. Moreland gets to his feet and pulls Williams up and sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a big back body drop. As Williams gets to his feet, Davin clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Moreland follows him to the outside. On the outside, Davin pulls LD to his feet and slams him face first into the announce table, LD sinks to his knees. Standing right in front of the announcers Davin looks out at the crowd, grabs LD’s head and tilts it back and repeatedly drives elbows down on his forehead, then tears at the gash on Williams head, opening it up again. Davin slowly pulls Williams to his feet, and starts to whip him to the guard rail, but pulls him back into a short clothesline. Davin rolls a stunned LD Williams back into the ring, follows him in and covers, but LD kicks out at two. Moreland pulls LD to a sitting position and hammers him with clubbing forearms to the chest, then gets him to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches Williams with a big boot to the face. LD collapses in a heap and Davin falls on him, but still can’t get a three count. Davin looks pretty confident right about now. He plays to the crowd while LD struggles to get to his feet. Moreland kicks LD a couple of times sending him back to the mat, then finally pulls him up and shoves him into the corner. Davin slaps Williams a few times and grabs him by the hair and tilts his head back and says something to LD that only they can hear. Whatever it was, it pissed LD off something fierce. Williams grabs Davin by the back of the head and slams him in the face with a head butt and spins him into the corner and UNLEASHES a barrage of chops and kicks. Davin staggers a out of the corner a little bit and Williams hits the ropes and connects with a knee right to Davin’s ribs. Davin looks like he has been hit with an electric shock. He falls to his knees, pain etched on his face. Williams snarls and lands several head butts to the ribs that sends Moreland out of the ring to the floor gasping for breath while Samantha Darling tries to buy him some time. Williams slips out of the ring and walks up to Samantha Darling and just glares at her. At first she tries to stand her ground, but then she wilts under Williams menacing stare and steps back. Williams pulls Moreland to his feet and scoops him up and slams him on the floor. Davin howls in pain as Williams climbs to the apron, gets a running start and drops a knee across Moreland’s ribs. Davin howls in pain, and gasps for breath. Samantha Darling looks deeply concerned and starts looking up the ramp for possible DEA back up. Williams rolls the champ back into the ring and steps between the ropes and covers him, but Davin kicks out at two. Williams gets to his feet and pulls Davin up and hits a release belly to back suplex. Moreland hits the mat hard, and Williams immediately pounces on him, but once again, he can only get a two count. The champion pulls himself to the corner and clutches his ribs. Williams charges in and catches Davin with a boot wash across the face, then unloads a barrage of kicks to Moreland’s ribs. LD grabs Davin’s legs and pulls him to the middle of the ring and covers, but the champ shows his resiliency and rolls his shoulder. LD pulls Davin to his feet and tries a whip to the ropes, but Davin reverses it and catches LD on the rebound with a DOLPHIN KICK! LD hits the mat, lights clearly dimmed, but Davin can’t take advantage of it, because he hit the mat hard too. Moreland slowly crawls across the ring and drapes his arm across Williams chest, one, two, thr….NO! Davin looks a little frustrated and grabs his ribs and winces in pain. Moreland pulls Williams to his feet. We are almost thirty minutes into this match, so Williams has wrestled over an hour tonight, he has to be exhausted. Moreland sends him to the ropes and somehow finds the strength to press Williams over his head, it appears Davin is going for an elevated Really Good Diamond Cutter, but Williams slips out of Moreland’s grasp and lands on his feet behind him, grabs an arm and spins him to the mat and locks Moreland in a cross face! Williams pulls back on Moreland’s head, while keeping his weight across Moreland’s ribs as well! Every few seconds Williams drops his full weight on those injured ribs. Moreland howls in pain, and the referee is right there asking him if he wants to quit. The crowd is going insane thinking Moreland will surrender the title. Davin fights through the pain, and after a whole lot of agonizing minutes, he manages to reach the bottom rope and force the break. Williams keeps the hold on until the referee is about to call for the disqualification, then breaks the hold and slumps to the mat. Williams is up first and he pulls Davin to his feet and connects with several shots to the ribs, then sends Moreland to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a pendulum back breaker. Davin howls in pain, and Williams covers again, but once again cannot keep the champ’s shoulders down. LD pulls him up again and tries a whip, but Davin reverses it, but lowers his head a moment too soon, LD catches him and is about to go for a CANADIAN DESTROYER! But Davin tries to reverse it to a backdrop, but LD holds on and tries a sunset flip, Davin hooks LD’s legs and leans forward, even grabbing the middle rope for a little extra leverage, but LD still manages to kick out at two. Now Davin shows some real frustration, getting to his feet and grabbing the referee and yelling that it was a three count. The referee disagrees with Davin’s assessment of the situation, so Davin rears back to nail the referee, but Williams grabs him from behind and gets the one, two, thre……NO! Davin kicks out of the backslide JUST before the referee’s hand hits the mat for the third time. Both men get to their feet quickly, but LD catches Davin with a kick to the ribs that drops him to one knee, Williams rolls Moreland up in a Mahistral cradle, but the champ kicks out. You can see Williams is running on fumes, and he is a little too slow to his feet this time and Davin ducks a clothesline attempt, spins LD around and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Moreland looks at the crowd and laughs, then falls across LD and yells for the ref to count. One……two……thre…..NO! Williams gets his foot on the bottom rope! Moreland is FURIOUS! He pulls LD to his feet and sets him on the top rope facing the crowd. Davin climbs up behind LD and grabs him for a top rope Olympic slam, but Williams slips out of his grip again, lands on his feet and catches Moreland with a LUNGBLOWER! Only it probably should have been called a rib breaker. Davin convulses in pain. Williams pulls him to his feet and sets Moreland on the top rope, also facing the crowd, and climbs up for a dragon suplex! But Davin hits Williams with several elbows to the face. Williams is teetering, and just before he falls off, he grabs Moreland and hits a belly to back suplex off the top rope! Both men’s shoulders are down, the referee hits the mat, one, two, THREE! Wait, what happened here? The referee calls for the title, both men remain on the mat. Officials rush to the ring to get a decisive finish. As they argue both men pull themselves to their feet using the ropes. Finally we get a replay on the OOTron, and we see Williams rolled his shoulder a fraction of a second before the referee hit the mat for the third time! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! WINNER in 44:08 and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION – LD WILLIAMS The referee hands the title to Williams and he slumps to the mat overcome with emotion. Davin Moreland is standing in the middle of the ring, his mouth hanging open in absolute shock. The members of Drink & Destroy flood the ring and congratulate Williams as confetti falls from the ceiling and the crowd roars their approval. Davin slowly steps out of the ring and makes the long walk to the back as a former champion, Sam trying to console him the whole way. We cut back to the ring and see Williams standing on the turnbuckle, the OOWF World Heavyweight Title on one shoulder, and his half of the OOWF World Tag Team Title on the other. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem/OOWF Invitational Round 2, Live! February 11th from Springfield, Minnesota For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Feb 4, 2009 20:05:19 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 01/28/09[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Davin Moreland (+3, 11-  1. Firewoman – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+8, 12-4) 2. Seamus McNasty – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-5, 6-11) 3. Poe (+6, 13-7) 4. Outback Jack (+5, 12-7)* 5. Bryce Larson (+5, 11-6) 6. LD Williams (+4, 11-7)* 7. Nayr (+4, 9-5)** 8. Concrete TG (+2, 11-9)** 9. Tytan (+2, 11-9) 10. Alexis Darling (+2, 3-1) 11. SYB (+1, 10-9) 12. Moosehead Jack (+1, 9- 13. Chris Cole (+1, 9- 14. Stank (+1, 8-7) 15. FF Capslock (+1, 5-4) 16. Chris Evans (+1, 3-2) 17. Josh O’Neal (+1, 1-0) 18. Alexander Darling (E, 9-9) 19. The Dead (E, 1-1) 20. The Amnesiac (-1, 9-10) 21. Lucios (-1, 9-10) 22. Phantos (-1, 9-10) 23. Skurge (-1, 9-10) 24. Blitz (-1, 2-3)** 25. Tyson Kincaid (-2, 9-11) 26. Eric O’Mac (-2, 4-6) 27. Matte (-2, 2-4) 28. DH Magnusson (-4, 3-7) 29. Spin Hansen (-7, 7-12) 30. Damon Wrath (-13, 3-16) *OOWF World Tag Team Champions **OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions World Tag Team Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Fear Us (+5 9-4) 1. Phantos & Lucios (+1, 9- 2. Davin Moreland & Bryce Larson (+1, 1-0) 3. IHOP (E, 3-3)
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Jack Quinn Jan 28, 2009 20:08:43 GMT -5 |
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(Biggs is on the phone with Steele.)
Steele:(excited) She is willing to tell the whole story. How did you pull that off? Biggs: She wants me to watch Tyson in the tag match tonight. Steele: He is teaming with Tytan correct? Biggs: Of course Boss. Steele: Then that is your job for tonight...make sure nothing happens to him at any cost. Biggs: Any cost? Steele: Exactly. You do that then there will be a nice bonus for you. Biggs: Thank you boss. Now what about you? Steele: I am going to have to fly home. I may also have a suprise or two when I get back. Biggs: Really? Steele: You and the rest will have to just wait and see. Now go find Tyson and Tytan and watch them. Hell, if he needs it give Tyson a shot of the mix. Biggs: You mean it? Steele: I do. Biggs: It will be taken care of. (They hang up.) Biggs: Now where are those two? (He walks off)
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fasteddie Jan 28, 2009 20:05:24 GMT -5 |
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ALEXANDER DARLING vs. ERIC O’MAC
And it’s time for a match everyone has been anticipating. It’s been almost a year since the only one-on-one encounter between Eric O’Mac and Alexander Darling. A match that many consider one of the best matches of the previous year, but one that ended inconclusively. They’ve met a few other times over the course of the last year, but never in a true one-on-one encounter. In one of those encounters, at the annual Imperial Onslaught it was Eric who got the pin fall over Alexander Darling after entering the match at #2. The lights dim and “There Can Be Only One” blasts over the sound system as a blue spotlight starts circling the arena. AFI’s “Prelude 12/21” starts to play and Alexander steps out onto the entrance ramp. There is no douche baggy slow-motion camera. No douche bag ring attire. Just a very focused looking Alexander Darling with Alexis Darling at his side. He does do his normal wait until “Princes of the Universe” by Queen plays. He ignores the booing and hatred from the crowd as he makes his way into the ring and perches himself on the top turnbuckle as he stares down towards the entrance. “Come On Man…Don’t Call It A Comeback” hits and “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J is playing. Eric O’Mac steps out onto the ramp with almost an identical look of focus that Alexander had. Eric gets a ton more cheers as he makes his way down the aisle and into the ring. He stands in the corner directly opposite Alex and the two just stare each other down as Alexis rolls to the outside of the ring and she moves far away from Alexander’s corner and pushes one of the ringside attendants out of their chair so she can take a seat. Junior Hale looks from corner to corner and realizes the combatants will not be coming to the center and he calls for the bell. No one moves for a moment as Eric and Alex continue to stare at one another. Alex finally hops off the turnbuckle and makes his way to the center of the ring and he waits for Eric. EOM makes his way to the center and the two continue to stare each other down and then the trash talk starts. We can see both are saying something and it looks like Eric was the first to say the magic word as Alex shoves him. Eric kinda laughs it off as he comes back and pushes Eric. And then Alex pushes. And Eric again, but this time it’s a hard enough push that Alex bounces off the ropes and he comes off with an elbow to the side of Eric’s head. Eric goes with the strike and comes back with one of his own. And now the two are trading elbows in the center of the ring. They go back and forth for a few and then Darling seems to be feeling the effects and he drops to a knee. Eric goes for a leg kick, but AD grabs the leg and takes Eric down with a DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP. Alex rolls with the maneuver and locks on a HALF CRAB. It’s way early in the match though and Eric rolls through and reverses into a SPINNING TOE HOLD. Alex spins with the move looking to take Eric off his feet, but Eric shows some amazing athleticism and cartwheels to stay on his feet. Alex gets back to his feet again and just as the crowd is about to do the cheer of mutual respect, Alex and Eric charge one another and start trading punches. Rights and lefts from EOM and then rights and lefts from AD. Darling shakes one of the punches off and runs off the ropes, Eric with a leapfrog. AD off the opposite set of ropes and Eric puts his head down. Alexander attempts a sunset flip, but Eric rolls all the way through and gets back to his feet. He goes for a SHINING WIZARD, but Alex ducks under the attempt and rolls forward. He gets up to his feet and just as Eric turns around he eats a dropkick from Alex. Darling quickly bounces off the ropes again and goes to drop an elbow, but EOM is able to roll out of the way. Alex attempts another, but O’Mac is able to move once again. Eric pulls himself up in the corner just as AD charges and he’s able to get his legs up around Darling’s head and he’s able to pull Alex’s head down and slam it into the middle turnbuckle. EOM jumps over the downed Alex and waits for him to get out of the corner. As Alex turns around, now it’s Eric’s turn to hit a picturesque drop kick. Eric stays on the attack now as he drags Alexander to his feet and he lifts him up for a vertical suplex and he snaps it over. Eric looks like he’s going to attempt a cover, but Alex quickly rolls to the outside for a breather. He turns his back on Eric for a split second and it looks like Eric is going to FLY…but Alex turns around just in time and moves quickly around the ring and Eric is able to put on the brakes. Alex pulls some old-school stalling tactics before he gets back in the ring, making sure that Hale keeps Eric back from the ropes. Finally EOM stays far enough away and Alex is able to slide into the ring. Eric rushes as soon as Darling is in the ring, but AD catches him coming with a shoulder to the midsection. Alex quickly up to his feet and he snaps Eric back with a STO. Alexander goes to the mat with Eric and locks in a side headlock. He keeps it locked in for a few minutes as Eric tries to find a way out of it. He’s able to roll AD over on a few occasions and get a one or two count, but Alex always winds up back in this position with the headlock really cinched in. Eric starts fighting back to a vertical base by throwing some elbows at Darling’s stomach to open up some distance. Eric gets enough space and looks to head to the ropes, but AD reaches up and grabs a fistful of hair pulling Eric back into a side headlock. But it doesn’t last long as Eric quickly picks Darling up and takes him down with a BACKDROP DRIVER. EOM starts working the kinks out of his neck as he reaches down to grab Alex, but Darling surprises him and rolls him up with a small package. Hale drops down to make the count… 1… 2… And Eric rolls Alex over now… 1… 2… And now they start rolling around the ring in various pinning combinations, but neither one is able to get a serious count. They both get back to their feet and again, just as the crowd is about to start the indy-wanker applause of approval, Alex charges at Eric and catches him with a knee to the gut. He lifts the dazed Eric up for a suplex, starts to drop him back down…SLINGSHOT BAINBUSTER. Alexander stays with Eric and gets on top of him as he starts punching away. Eric avoids enough of the punches and out of nowhere he reaches up with his legs and arms and he locks Darling into a TRIANGLE CHOKE. Hale is checking to make it’s legal and it is. Alex is trying to find a way out of the move and he rolls over and winds up on his back… 1… 2… And Darling realizes at the last second and he’s able to get his shoulder off the mat. Eric gets to his feet now and he starts kicking away at AD. He reaches down and gets Alexander into position and lifts him up and slams him down with a POWERBOMB, but he doesn’t let go and he locks his hands as he dead lifts Alex up in the air again…DOUBLE POWERBOMB. Eric holds Darling down for the count… 1… 2… Alex rolls his shoulder once again, but this time Eric goes with the roll and he gets a BOSTON CRAB applied to Darling. Alex is struggling to make his way to the ropes to get a break and just before he’s about to reach out and grab hold of the bottom rope, Eric is able to seamlessly transfer into a STF. And now Eric has Darling’s arm locked up and he can’t reach the ropes. Darling is in a bit of trouble right now as he is too far away from the ropes and Eric has a real STF locked in. Alex is struggling and he’s getting really close to tapping. He’s about to tap when he gets a sudden burst and he’s able to roll Eric all the way over and he’s now close enough to the ropes for a break. Eric reluctantly lets go, but stays on the attack. He throws a couple of axe handles to the Alex’s back as he drags him towards the center of the ring. Eric picks Alex up to his feet and he looks like he’s going for the SMACKDOWN. But it’s still early in this match and AD is able to fight it off and he reverses the move and he takes hard to the mat; face-first with the COMPLETE SHOT. Alexander rolls Eric over and he makes the cover… 1… 2… No. Eric kicks out. Alexander shakes some cobwebs loose as he picks EOM up and he whips him hard into the corner. Alexander follows him right in and hits a hard clothesline. And then he starts lying in with some vicious knife-hand chops that turn Eric’s chest red. He takes Eric down with a snap mare and continues with a hard kick to Eric’s back. O’Mac falls to the mat and Alex runs over and hits a senton splash on Eric. AD picks EOM up once again. He locks in a front face lock and he picks Eric up…SMALL PACKAGE DRIVER. Is this it? 1… 2… Eric gets his foot on the bottom rope and Alexander slams the mat in frustration. He gets in Hale’s face to argue the count as Eric slides to the floor to try and recover. Alexander notices Eric sliding out over his shoulder as he argues with Hale and he waits for the right moment as he takes a running start and he goes for the TOPE CON HILO, but Eric was playing a bit of possum and he’s able to bring his foot up and he kicks AD right in the head as he goes crashing into the barricade. Hale begins his count in the ring as both men are down on the outside. He gets to a 6 count before Eric slides back in and right back out of the ring. He stalks over to the Angkor Wat announce table and starts tossing their monitors to the floor. He picks AD up and drags him over where he slams his head into the table a few times. Darling is trying to fight back and he’s able to his a savate kick to Eric’s stomach before whipping him face first into the steel post. AD makes his way to the Bermuda Triangle announce table and he begins tossing those monitors to the floor. He stalks over to Eric and once again they start trading punches. And we see that Eric is now busted open. Alex starts punching right into the cut and he gains the advantage as he drags Eric to the announce table. He drags him on top of the table and it looks like he’s going for the DARLING DRIVER, but Eric has enough awareness to fight it off. He elbows Darling a few times and then he’s able to quickly get Alex into position…SMACKDOWN from one table through the other. The crowd is speechless for a split second until… HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Both men are down and they both might be out of it as Junior Hale jumps to the floor. As soon as he does, we hear 30 minutes elapsed, 30 minutes remain come over the sound system. Hale is checking on both guys, and he makes the sign that he’s going to let the match continue. He slides back into the ring and begins his 10 count. He’s at 5 before anyone even moves and we see that it’s Eric. He starts crawling towards the ring and he drags himself up the apron and he gets into the ring at the count of 7. As he slides into the ring, we see the first signs of movement from Alexander. Hale hits eight and Darling finally starts edging towards the ring. As AD grabs the apron, Hale hits 9. And just before he hits 10, Alex is able to find one last burst of momentum and pulls himself into the ring. Eric falls onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a moment as this match is taking a lot from both guys. Eric gets his bearings and is back on his feet as he drags Alexander up. He lifts Alex up into a power bomb position, but he spreads the arms wide, Eric is attempting a CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB, but Alex is barely able to wrap his feet around the rope and slide off of Eric’s back. EOM turns to face Alexander and now it looks like Alexander is going for the SMACKDOWN, but Eric fights it off and then they start reversing hold after hold and in the scrum, someone’s leg flies up and kicks Junior Hale right in the mouth and he powders out. Neither guy notices and its Eric who finally grabs the advantage and out of nowhere he lifts AD onto his shoulders. He places Alex’s hand across his own throat…he can’t be…he is…DARL, well I guess O’MAC CUTTHROAT DRIVER. Alex is done. Eric makes the cover… … … … Junior Hale is still down and unable to make the count. Eric looks around the ring and finally realizes the ref is down and he sighs. He crawls over to Hale to try and wake him up. He’s having no luck as he turns back to Darling. He sees the position Alex is in and he gets a big smile. He stands up near Alex’s head, kicks the arm in, takes off his elbow pad, does a little dance, makes a little love, gets down tonight, and then he runs to the ropes…It’s THE 5-KNUCKLE O’MAC PEOPLE’S CORPORATE SHUFFLE ELBOW. As Eric gets back to his feet, he notices Angelo Barros running up the aisle and he thinks this is the perfect time. He picks Alex’s legs up and steps through and tries to roll Alex over for THE SHARPSHOOTER, but AD uses his leg strength and pulls EOM off balance and he crashes right into Barros who had just stepped onto the apron. Barros crashes to the floor in a heap unbeknownst to Alexander. Darling gets to his feet as does Eric and once again they are trading blows in the center of the ring. This time it’s Eric gaining the edge and he looks to have Alex set up for another SMACKDOWN, but Alex fights it off again and he reverses positions and he’s able to get Eric up and he lands his own SMACKDOWN. Alex drops onto Eric for the cover… … … … And now its Alexander’s turn to realize there’s no ref. He slams the mat in frustration as he looks around the ring. He heads into one of the corners and starts to untie the padding. He gets it untied just as he sees referee Mel Creech make his way down the aisle. Alex turns his back on Eric for just a split second, but it costs him because as soon as he turns around Eric is running full speed and launches himself at Alexander…SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR and it takes them through the second rope and they crash right into Creech so he is out. Both men are down once again…40 minutes elapsed, 20 minutes remain. Eric gets to his feet first and he’s able to pick up the almost dead weight of Darling and slide him into the ring. Alexander rolls towards the center of the ring and Eric sees that he’s in position. He slowly, ever so slowly, starts to climb the ropes, but he’s taken too long and Alex is able to meet him on the top turnbuckle. They start trading blows once again and this AD gains the advantage and he’s able to get Eric up in the air…SUPERPLEX. But Alex doesn’t let go, seemingly out of nowhere, he finds another gear and he lifts Eric right onto his shoulders in one fluid move and he takes Eric down with a CRADLE SHOCK. He drops down to make the cover… … … 1…Junior Hale has slowly crawled over. … … 2…But he’s clearly in bad shape. … … NO. Eric gets his shoulder up and Alex’s head falls in disappointment. Alex is getting frustrated now and has no idea what to do next. He’s taking his time picking Eric back up. As he does, he looks over and sees the exposed turnbuckle. He thinks this is the best course of action as he whips Eric into the corner, but Eric is able to get his foot up and stop himself from hitting the metal. AD sees this and charges in after him, but he gets caught with a mule kick from EOM. Eric moves to the side and he grabs Alex’s head from behind and he starts ramming his head into the turnbuckle. The audience counts along all the way to 10 and Alexander stumbles out of the corner and we can see him bleeding. Darling is wobbling on his feet as Eric hops up to the top turnbuckle and then he flies off with a MISSILE DROPKICK. Alexander is down and Eric isn’t going to let up. He quickly heads back onto the apron and climbs the ropes once again. He leaps off with THE MAC ATTACK, but Alex gets his knees up and Eric bounces away. Alexander gets to his feet first this time and he goes to lift Eric up onto his shoulders. He’s trying to get Eric’s hands placed across his throat for the DARLING DRIVER, but Eric is fighting it off and he floats back over onto his feet as he Irish whips Darling. Eric catches Alex coming off with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER. He makes another cover… … One…Hale is still not 100%. … Two…But he’s almost there. … Th…No, Alexander barely kicks out. 45 minutes elapsed, 15 minutes remain. Both of these guys have given their all tonight and there are only 15 minutes left before this match is called a draw, and neither guy wants that. EOM drags Darling to his feet and he looks for something to finish this match. He grabs Alexander in a Stunner position and he starts to run towards the corner as he attempts a SLICED BREAD #2, but Alex pushes him hard and Eric’s chest slams hard into the turnbuckles. As Eric staggers out of the corner, Alexander bounces off the ropes behind him and looks to go for a bulldog, but Eric blocks it and hit an ATOMIC DROP on Alex. He doesn’t let go of Alexander though as he flows with into a combination with a LUNGBLOWER. He keeps hold in combination yet again and floats all the way over and he goes to lock in a CROSSFACE. He’s almost got it locked in…almost right there…but, no Alex reverses it and he gets Eric’s shoulders on the mat… 1… 2… Eric lets go and picks his shoulder up. He’s back to his feet rather quickly as he drags Alexander with him. KICK, WHAM, PEDIGREE. Wonder who taught that one to Eric? He rolls Darling over and makes the cover… 1… 2… And this time its Alexander getting a leg on the rope and its Eric’s head that falls. 50 minutes elapsed, 10 minutes remain. Eric has no idea what else to do, except to go back to his old standby and he lifts Alexander up once again and he’s going for THE SMACKDOWN. He gets Alex up in the air, but Alex is firing elbows into the side of Eric’s head and he has no choice but to drop Darling. Alexander has to be on his fourth or fifth wind right now because out of nowhere he’s able to lift Eric up in the air and he nails him with a BRAINBUSTER. Alex stays on Eric now as he gets to his feet and he locks in the surfboard position as he rolls Eric over…MOTHERFUCKING CURBSTOMP. Eric is in trouble. Alexander keeps in motion as he drags Eric into position and Alexander quickly climbs the ropes…DARK DARLING RISING and he hits it! He crawls over to Eric and gets on top… One…Is this it? Two…Eric’s eyes look glazed over. And THREE!!! The crowd is absolutely speechless for a few seconds, before the always-required “THAT WAS AWESOME” chant kicks in. Alexander rolls off of Eric and both men are clearly exhausted. Alexis Darling makes her way into the ring and gives a quick look down at Eric before helping her brother to his feet. Hale makes his way over to raise Alexander’s head as Eric begins to stir and drag himself up in the corner. Alex’s and Eric’s lock once again as Alexander falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. He backs up the ramp as the stare down continue. It looks like they’re say something, but we can’t make out the words. What we can make out is this… WINNER in 51:24 is ALEXANDER DARLING!!! ONSLAUGHT CHAMPIONSHIP DANCE OF DEATH – SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. CHRIS EVANS vs. DH MAGNUSSON vs. CONCRETE TG Our first title match of the evening is for the OOWF Onslaught championship. OOWF newcomer Chris Evans is announced first and sprints to the ring and springs over the top rope, then heads to the corner and sits on the top rope and waits for his opponents. Heroes Guild member Concrete TG is announced next and comes out to a thunderous ovation. Crete is going for the Grand Slam tonight, needing only to win the Onslaught championship to be the second member of that exclusive group. Crete makes his way to the ring, keeping an eye on Evans, and steps between the ropes. Next out is DH Magnusson, who brutally attacked Seamus McNasty almost two weeks ago. The fans boo Magnusson loudly, and he looks at the fans and just shakes his head and laughs to himself and makes his way to the ring. Finally the OOWF Onslaught champion Seamus McNasty is announced. He comes out to the top of the ramp, and the scars from Magnusson’s attack are still clearly visible. McNasty rushes to the ring, drops the title at ringside and climbs between the ropes and makes a beeline for Magnusson, but DH bails out of the ring before McNasty can get to him. The referee calls for the bell, and this one is ready to go! Chris Evans seizes the opportunity and climbs to the top rope and catches McNasty, who is still focused on Magnusson with a missile drop kick to the face, and covers, but Crete pulls him off at two. From the outside, Magnusson reaches in and pulls McNasty out of the ring by his head and throws him into the guard rail. Inside the ring, Evans gets to his feet and turns to face Crete, the two of them see Magnusson and McNasty battling on the outside, get a running start and leap over the top rope and take them both out with planchas. Crete and Evans get to their feet and Crete calls for a high five, but Evans super kicks him in the mouth! Evans grabs McNasty and rolls him into the ring, hops on the apron and spring boards to the top rope, then hits a 360 splash and covers, but McNasty manages to kick out at two. Evans slams the mat in frustration and yells at the referee. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Crete pulls Magnusson to his feet, but DH rakes the eyes, then nearly decapitates Crete with a short clothesline. Magnusson slides back into the ring and catches Evans with a big boot to the face, then pounces on McNasty and hammers him with shots to the face, then gets to his feet and drops a big elbow across his chest and covers, but Chris Evans breaks it up at two. Magnusson gets to his feet and glares at Magnusson and they go nose to nose…..er, chest. Magnusson shoves Evans, and Evans responds with a spinning heel kick that catches Magnusson on the jaw and sends him staggering backward right into the waiting arms of Seamus, who hits a release German suplex that folds Magnusson up. DH bails out of the ring, and McNasty is about to follow when Evans grabs him from behind and rolls him up for a two count. Seamus kicks out and rolls to his feet and catches a charging Evans by the throat and choke slams him to the mat! Seamus doesn’t even bother trying for a cover, instead he leaves the ring and goes after Magnusson. Crete slides into the ring and waits for Evans to get to his feet, then hits a belly to belly suplex with a bridge. Crete gets a two count, but Evans manages to roll his shoulder just before the three count. Crete gets to his feet and whips Evans to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Evans slides between his legs, gets to his feet behind him, and when Crete turns around catches Crete with a drop kick on the jaw that sends Crete staggering back to the corner. Evans charges in and monkey flips Crete out of the corner, but Crete lands on his feet and hits the ropes. Evans is up, but immediately drops to the mat, Crete steps over him and hits the ropes again, Evans jumps to his feet and tries a hip toss, but Crete blocks it and reverses it into a back slide for a two count. On the outside, McNasty nails Magnusson from behind and sends him to one knee. Seamus gets a running start and connects with a boot to the back of Magnusson’s head, sending him sprawling on the floor. McNasty walks up to a prone Magnusson and looks out at the crowd, who cheer their approval, and McNasty STOPMS the back of Magnusson’s head! Magnusson comes off the concrete, grabbing his face, but blood is already trickling through his fingers. Magnusson rolls into the ring, but McNasty follows him. In the corner, Crete has Evans pinned and is blistering him with chops. Crete sets Evans on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex. Magnusson turns to McNasty as he steps between the ropes and rakes his eyes, then slams him in the face with a head butt. AS Crete climbs to the top Magnusson walks under Crete and we get the spot-tastic Tower of Doom! Evans and Crete hit the mat HARD! McNasty gets back to his feet and waits for Magnusson to get to his feet, then kicks him low and hits the BLACK AND TAN! McNasty covers, but Crete crawls across the ring and just barely breaks it up. McNasty gets to his feet and grabs Crete and throws him over the top rope to the floor. Behind him, Magnusson is also up, and he charges at McNasty trying for a big boot, but McNasty moves out of the way and Evans gets his head kicked into the seventh row! McNasty grabs a stunned Magnusson and throws him over the top rope to the floor, then pulls Evans up and sets him on the top turn buckle and hits the CELTIC CROSS! McNasty covers, keeping his eye on Magnusson on the outside the whole time, and gets the three count. WINNER in 25:08 – Seamus McNasty The second the referee hits the mat the third time, McNasty bails out of the ring and attacks Magnusson. Magnusson fights Seamus off by grabbing a beer and throwing it into his face blinding him. Magnusson then reaches under the ring and grabs his logging chain. Inside the ring, a dazed Chris Evans gets to his feet and sees Magnusson lining Seamus up for a chain wrapped fist shot to the face. Evans baseball slides out of the ring and shoves Magnusson aside and gets BLASTED in the head instead! Evans immediately falls to the floor, and blood flows from his head. Magnusson looks at what he has done and smirks, then heads up the ramp. Seamus clears his vision and sees what has happened and checks on Evans, the whole time glaring at Magnusson. WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE DANCE OF DEATH - FEAR US vs. IHOP vs. THE HEROES GUILD It’s time for the Tag Team title Dance of Death. IHOP, SYB and Skurge, are out, and are shortly followed by The Heroes Guild, tonight being made up of Blitz and Damon Wrath. The challengers are all in the ring, when the champions music plays and Fear Us comes out to the top of the ramp to a huge ovation. They make their way to the ring and hand off the tag team titles. The rules of this match are slightly different, we will not have all the men in the ring at the same time. Tags will have to be made, and no two members of any team can be the legal men in the ring at the same time. The referee calls for the bell, and it looks like LD Williams will start things with Skurge. Skurge and Williams lock up and Skurge slips behind LD and hammers him with forearms to the back of the head, then spins him around, buries a knee to the gut, and takes him over with a swinging neck breaker. Skurge covers, but doesn’t even get a one count. Skurge pulls Williams to a sitting position and tags in SYB, SYB charges in and catches Williams with a kick to the face that sends him to the mat. SYB pounces on him and grabs a side head lock. Williams makes his way to his feet and lifts SYB off the mat and takes him down with a belly-to-back suplex, but to his credit, SYB holds on. Williams gets to his feet again and this time he lifts SYB and drops him crotch first on the top rope. SYB howls in pain, and Williams tags in Outback Jack. Jack comes in and shakes the ropes sending SYB for a ride, then clotheslines him off the rope to the mat and covers, but Blitz runs in and catches Jack with a drop kick to the face to break it up. Jack is unfazed and pulls SYB to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a power slam, hooks the leg, and gets a two count, this time it is broken up by Damon Wrath. Jack is a little more annoyed this time and yells at Wrath as the referee herds him out of the ring. SYB takes advantage of the situation by hitting a low blow on Jack that sends him staggering forward. Wrath reaches out and tags himself into the match, steps between the ropes and charges at SYB catching him in the face with a big boot. Wrath pulls SYB to his feet and hauls him up for a suplex, but SYB wiggles free and lands on his feet behind Wrath. Wrath spins around and SYB rakes his eyes, then runs to the neutral corner, climbs to the top rope and pulls off a nice cross body block for a two count! SYB gets to his feet, grabs Wrath’s leg and pulls him to the IHOP corner and tags in Skurge. Skurge comes in and drops an elbow across Wrath’s chest, then pulls him to his knees and hits several knee shots to Wrath’s chest and face. Wrath gets some space with a head butt to the mid section, then shoves Skurge to the ropes and stops him cold with a head butt to the chest. Skurge falls to the mat and Wrath grabs his arm and stretches it out and repeatedly drops his knee across his elbow. Wrath drags Skurge to the corner and hammerlocks him, then reaches back and tags in Blitz. Blitz slings over the top rope and splashes Skurge, landing right on his arm. Blitz pulls Skurge to his feet and wrings his arm, but Skurge unleashes a barrage of chops backing Blitz into the corner. Skurge grabs Blitz and sets him on the top rope and starts to climb up after him, but Blitz catches him with a kick to the face, sending him staggering back. When Skurge comes toward the corner again, Blitz leaps off and takes Skurge over with a hurracarana. Blitz gets back to his feet and waits for Skurge to get to one knee, still doubled over, then he springs off the middle rope and drops a leg across the back of Skurge’s head and covers him for a two count. Blitz gets to his feet and once again goes to the corner, but this time Skurge is on his feet and he charges into the corner and shoves Blitz off the top rope. Blitz sails through the air and crashes chin first on the guard rail! Jack jumps off the apron and rolls a stunned Blitz back into the ring, Skurge moves to make the cover, but LD Williams reaches out and tags himself in. Skurge stares at Williams, and Williams doesn’t pay a bit of attention to him, instead he pounces on Blitz and locks him in the STF! Skurge is still standing there, so he frees Blitz with a kick to the back of the head before heading back to his corner. Williams is more than a little annoyed by this, and pulls Blitz to his feet and sends him to the ropes and lowers his head, but Blitz leaps onto Williams’ back and dives toward the corner and tags in SYB! SYB comes in like a house on fire and drops Williams with a punch to the side of the head, then Jack comes in and gets one too, same for Damon Wrath. SYB Joos Up and points at Williams. The crowd gives the appropriate “YOU!” call. SYB pulls Williams to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries the Hebew Hammer! But Williams ducks it and bounds off the ropes. SYB tries a big boot, but Williams catches his leg, spins SYB around and hooks him in a full nelson, then DRAGON SUPLEX! SYB is DEAD! Williams covers, but Skurge comes in and breaks it up at two, which leads to Jack coming into the ring, which draws Blitz and Wrath into the ring as well. They all spill out of the ring leaving SYB and Williams alone. SYB nails a low blow and rolls Williams up for a two count. SYB whips Williams into the corner then follows him in with a high knee. SYB pulls Williams up and sets him on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, but Williams drops an elbow on top of SYB’s head stunning him. Williams sets him up and hits a TOP ROPE CANADIAN DESTROYER! OH! MY! GOD! Williams covers, and gets the three count just before Skurge can get into the ring to break it up. WINNERS in 30:11 – Fear Us INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE DANCE OF DEATH – FIREWOMAN vs. FF CAPSLOCK vs. TYSON KINCAID vs. TYTAN Intercontinental match time. In this match, the first person to score a pin fall or submission wins the title. The challengers are all introduced, Tyson Kincaid is out first, then Capslock and finally Tytan. Each man eyes the other one warily as the OOWF Intercontinental champion Firewoman is announced. Fire makes her way to the ring, glaring at the three men who want to take her title. She drops the title at the announce table and slowly climbs onto the apron. For the first time Fire looks…..perhaps a bit hesitant. Firewoman looks around at the men inside the ring just waiting to tear her apart. Fire snarls and steps between the ropes and charges at Kincaid catching him with a forearm to the face. Fire gets shots in on Capslock as well, but before she can get to Tytan, he LEVELS her with a clothesline to the back of the head. Tytan grabs Firewoman and pulls her up and throws her into the corner and HAMMERS her with rights and lefts, beating her down to the mat. Tyson Kincaid moves to stop Tytan, but Capslock cuts him off and stops him dead in his tracks with a boot to the gut, then lifts him for a power bomb, but you cannot power bomb Tyson Kincaid, and he slips over Capslock’s shoulder and lands on his feet and rocks him with European uppercuts. Kincaid whips Capslock to the ropes and catches him with a drop kick to the jaw. Tyson gets to his feet and grabs Tytan’s arm as he cocks it back to hit Fire again. Tytan turns and looks at Kincaid and Kincaid blasts him in the face with a head butt, then hits a spinning heel kick that sends Tytan over the top rope to the floor. Kincaid looks down at Firewoman, Fire uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. From the outside, Tytan grabs Capslock and pulls him under the ropes and sends him shoulder first into the ring steps. Inside the ring, Kincaid and Firewoman lock up in the middle of the ring and Fire backs Kincaid into the corner. The referee calls for the clean break, and surprisingly Fire gives it, but not without a little pat to Kincaid’s cheek that infuriates him. Tyson charges out of the corner and takes Firewoman down with a spear. He immediately grabs her legs and rolls her over into a Boston crab, trying for the submission win. On the outside, Capslock is back on his feet, and he grabs Tytan and bounces his head off the guard rail. While Tytan is distracted, Lock notices what is going on inside the ring, slips under the bottom rope and KILLS Kincaid with a boot to the face. Capslock pulls Kincaid off and throws him to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a big power slam. Capslock covers, but Kincaid rolls his shoulder at two. Across the ring, Firewoman gets to her feet and sees Tytan on the outside and gets a running start and dives between the ropes, taking Tytan into the metal guard rail. Fire gets to her feet first and peppers Tytan with several shots to the face. Tytan grins and points to his chin and dares her to do it again. Fire rears back, then catches Tytan with a spinning heel kick that sends Tytan over the guard rail into the crowd. Inside the ring Kincaid and Capslock are both on their feet, Capslock whips Kincaid to the ropes and catches him in a Fireman’s carry on the rebound, but Kincaid worms out of is and takes Capslock to the mat with a DDT. Tyson gets to his feet and springs off the bottom rope and hits a perfect moonsault on Capslock, covers, and gets a two count. Firewoman makes it back into the ring and grabs Kincaid from behind, but he spins around and catches her with a spinning elbow to the temple that rocks Fire and leaves her on wobbly legs. Kincaid takes Fire and throws her to the post, and she hits face first instead of shoulder first. Fire slumps in the corner and Kincaid gets a running start and plants his boot onto the back of her head, slamming her face into the ring post a second time. Kincaid stands there staring at the prone Firewoman, blood running off her head and pooling on the mat. From behind, Capslock grabs Kincaid and hits a release German suplex. From outside the ring, Tytan grabs Fire by the hair and pulls her out of the ring and slams her back first into the ring post. Fire falls to her knees and Tytan approaches slowly, but Fire reaches out and grabs him and pulls him face first into the ring post. Tytan’s skull echoes off the post with a hollow thud, and he hits the floor dazed. Inside the ring, Capslock pulls Kincaid to his feet and sends him to the corner, Kincaid shows his agility by scaling the ropes, and turning and leaping at Lock, but Lock catches him, hefts him onto his shoulders and hits the GO TO SLEEP! Kincaid falls and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Capslock looks around and sees a bloody Firewoman struggling to her feet on the outside and slides out of the ring and throws her back inside. Capslock pulls Fire up in a vertical suplex, then drops her stomach first on the top rope, gets a running start and catches her with a knee lift that sends her off the top rope, crashing into the guard rail ribs first. Capslock is about to leave the ring and go after Firewoman when a bloody Tytan attacks him from behind and drops him to his knees with a forearm to the back of the head. Tytan pulls Lock up and lifts him onto his shoulders, then drops to his knees with a SHOCK TREATMENT! Capslock grabs his back in agony, but Tytan isn’t done. He pulls Lock to his feet and hits a pendulum back breaker, then pulls him up again and sends him HARD into the corner. As Capslock staggers forward, Tytan grabs him and hits a cobra clutch side Russian leg sweep. Tytan makes the motion for the Ultimo Driver! Tytan hauls Capslock up, but from the corner Kincaid leaps and catches him on the jaw with a missile drop kick! On the outside, Firewoman is struggling to her feet and just climbs onto the apron when Kincaid grabs Tytan and whips him into the ropes knocking Firewoman off the apron and sending her back into the guard rail ribs fist! Firewoman falls to the floor and starts coughing up blood, and appears to be having trouble breathing. Tytan staggers a bit from the collision and Kincaid POPS him in the mouth with a super kick! Tytan’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he staggers against the ropes. Kincaid grabs him and hits a belly to belly bridging suplex, but Capslock breaks it up at two. Capslock pulls Kincaid to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches him with a black hole slam! Capslock covers, one, two, NO! Kincaid rolls his shoulder! Capslock and Tytan are both to their feet and they sends Kincaid to the ropes, Tytan catches him and Capslock drops him with a 3D! Kincaid’s head bounces off the mat and he slowly rolls out of the ring and to the floor. Inside the ring, the two big men are a little slow getting to their feet. They meet in the center of the ring and trade shots to the head, but those blows don’t have quite as much behind them as they used to. Meanwhile Firewoman struggles to her feet, still gasping for breath and coughing blood. Kincaid measures her, hate burning in his eyes. He is about to charge when he looks into the ring, then over at Fire. Something seems to pass between them because Fire nods slightly and the two of them slide into the ring. Kincaid grabs Capslock and spins him around and they hit TOTAL ELIMINATION! Tytan charges at the two of them for a double clothesline, but they duck and Tytan hits the ropes. On the rebound, they catch Tytan with a double knee to the gut, then lift him for a suplex. They drop him on the top rope, then take a step back and wait. As Tytan’s feet hit the apron, Fire and Kincaid catch him with a DOUBLE super kick to the mouth! Tytan flies off the apron and smacks the back of his head on the guard rail and slumps to the floor. As soon as they hit the move, Kincaid turns to Fire and NAILS her with a kick to the ribs! Fire collapses to the mat grabbing her ribs and gasping for breath. Kincaid stands over her for a moment, then takes off to the ropes and hits a senton splash and covers Fire. One, two, thre….NO! Capslock breaks it up just before the pin. Capslock pulls Kincaid out of the corner and clubs him on the back of the head, then lifts him on his shoulders and hits a GREETINGS FROM FRESNO! Kincaid may be out, but it takes Capslock a few seconds to cover and Kincaid is able to kick out at two. Meanwhile in the corner, Fire manages to pull herself to her feet and get to the second rope. Capslock pulls Kincaid to his feet and grabs him from behind, but Kincaid fights out of it, then hits a PELE KICK! Capslock staggers backward toward the corner Fire is in, Fire grabs Capslock’s arms and hits a FLYING FIRESTOMP! HOLY SHIT! Capslock could be DEAD! Kincaid charges across the ring as Fire gets to her knees and LEVELS her with a Shining Wizard! Kincaid covers, but somehow Fire manages to roll her shoulder at two! Kincaid shows some frustration now and heads to the corner to the top rope. Fire woman struggles to her feet and lunges at the top rope hitting it just as Tyson steps on the top rope, sending him tumbling off the top rope! Kincaid hits the apron, then falls to the floor. Firewoman slowly turns around, still gasping for breath, and weak with blood loss, and sees Capslock starting to get to his feet. Fire runs over and sweeps Capslock’s legs, then hooks him in the CATTLE MUTILATION! Capslock struggles and will not tap, but after several seconds, he goes limp and the referee calls for the bell. WINNER in 44:19 – Firewoman Fire rolls out of the ring and grabs her title and makes it about halfway up the ramp before she collapses. Members of DEA rush out and pick her up and help her to the back WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE DANCE OF DEATH – DAVIN MORELAND vs. POE vs. STANK vs. THE AMNESIAC The Amnesiac is out first, then Stank, then Poe. Selena is conspicuously absent tonight. The challengers wait in the ring while the OOWF World Heavyweight champion Davin Moreland makes his grand entrance. Davin steps between the ropes and makes sure he shows the belt to everyone in the ring and reminds them that the title is going home with him tonight. The bell rings, and Poe immediately explodes out of the corner and he and the champ go toe to toe throwing haymakers. Stank and The Amnesiac start to move toward them to get involved, but then both seem to think better of it, and stand back why they trade thunderous shots. Poe begins getting the upper hand, so Davin goes to the eyes and catches Poe with a knee to the gut and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Poe reverses it, pulls Davin back, and hits a belly-to-belly suplex, DRIVING Davin to the mat! Poe covers, but The Amnesiac runs in and breaks it up at one. Poe gets to his feet and grabs The Amnesiac by the throat and throws him into the corner, then charges in and CRUSHES him with a clothesline. Meanwhile Stank waits for Davin to get to one knee, charges across the ring, and kicks him in the face! Davin hits the mat, and Stank drops repeated Elbows across his chest. On the other side of the ring, Poe whips The Amnesiac across the ring to the opposite corner and charges, but TA side steps and Poe crashes into the turn buckle chest first. TA slips behind him and rolls him up from behind for a two count. Stank pulls Davin up and backs him into the corner and PUMMELS him with rights and lefts and finishes him off with a head butt that sends him to the mat. Stank takes a few steps back and DRIVES his knee into Davin’s face! Davin slumps to the mat, then rolls out of the ring to the floor. Across the ring, Poe kicks out and gets to his feet and charges at The Amnesiac with a clothesline, but The Amnesiac ducks and Poe catches Stank with a clothesline to the back of the head, sending him slumping onto the middle rope. As Stank is trying to clear his head, Davin gets to his feet on the outside and grabs Stank by the head and lands several closed fist punches. Poe turns back around and goes after The Amnesiac, but TA is ready for him and catches him with a drop kick that sends the big man back against the ropes. The Amnesiac charges, but Poe low bridges him and TA sails out of the ring to the floor. Davin Moreland slides into the ring and attacks Poe from behind sending him to the mat. Davin immediately pins Poe’s leg to the mat with one foot, and STOMPS on his ankle with the other. Poe snarls in pain and kicks at Davin with his free leg, but Davin easily avoids the kicks. Across the ring, Stank is on one knee watching Davin and Poe. Davin pulls Poe to his feet and rattles his teeth with a European uppercut, then pulls him up for a suplex, but Stank charges across the ring and spears Davin right in the side, making sure to get his shoulder right on the champ’s ribs. Davin hits the mat, drops Poe awkwardly on his head, and grabs his ribs in pain. Stank stands over Davin for a moment, and The Amnesiac springs onto the top rope and catches Stank with a flying forearm that he never sees coming! Stank falls to the mat in a heap as well. The Amnesiac gets to his feet and looks around, he falls on Davin and covers for a two count, then gets to his feet and falls on Stank, and gets a two count there too, then runs over and falls on Poe and gets another two count there. The Amnesiac shows a little frustration and slaps the mat. The Amnesiac pulls Moreland to his feet and backs him into the corner and BLISTERS him with chops. At the same time, Poe and Stank struggle to their feet, Poe charges at Stank, but Stank catches him with a snap power slam, covers, but Poe kicks out at one. Stank hammers Poe with closed fists to the face while Davin catches The Amnesiac with a scientific thumb to the eye and throws him out of the ring. Davin follows him to the floor and pulls TA to his feet and slams him back first into the apron. The Amnesiac falls to his knees and Davin gets a running start and catches TA with a knee to the temple dropping him to the floor. The champ stands over the fallen IHOP member and decides that this is not enough. He checks the ring, where Stank has Poe on his feet in a bear hug. Davin rolls The Amnesiac onto the Portuguese Announce Table and climbs up with him. Davin slowly pulls TA to his feet and then SNAPS him with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! The table shatters beneath them, The Amnesiac may be dead! Inside the ring, Poe has escaped the bear hug with several head butts, the last one catching Stank right on the bridge of the nose. Poe grabs Stank and sends him to the ropes and tries a big boot, but Davin slithers into the ring and clips Poe on his plant ankle! Poe falls to the mat grabbing his ankle, obviously in tremendous pain. Stank grabs Davin and spins him around and knees him in the gut and hauls him up for a vertical suplex, but Davin slips out of his grip and lands on his feet behind him. Davin grabs Stank around the neck and hits the Randy Orton back breaker of Douchetastic Devastation. Stank writhes in pain, but Davin gets to his feet and ignores him. Instead he closes in on Poe, who is still grabbing his ankle. Poe pulls himself away using the ropes, snarling at Davin. Davin gives his little batistalaugh and kicks Poe in the mouth, then steps between the ropes and pulls Poe’s ankle to the edge of the apron, then leaps off the apron and brings his weight down on Poe’s ankle! Poe’s ankle bends in a way that is clearly not intended, and the big man lets out a howl of pain. Davin pulls him out of the ring to the floor, but before he can do anything else, Stank grabs him from behind and throws him into the ring steps. As Stank is advancing on Davin, trainers are out tending to Poe. They get him to his feet and help him to the back, Poe is putting no weight on that ankle at all. This does not look good for Poe at all. Stank waits for Davin to get to his feet, then grabs him and hits The Stroke, sending Davin’s head into the corner of the ring steps! When we see Davin again, he is a bloody mess. Stank pulls Davin up and rolls him into the ring and whips him to the ropes, but lowers his head a moment too soon. Moreland catches Stank with a kick to the jaw, then takes him down with a clothesline. All three remaining men are down. The Amnesiac is just starting to stir in the wreckage of the table, and Davin is slowly getting to one knee wiping the blood from his eyes. Davin gets to his feet, hits the ropes and drops a knee across Stank’s throat and actually gets a two count before the referee realizes it is a choke and calls for the break. Davin pulls Stank to his feet and paint brushes him a few times, then shoves him to the corner. Darling charges in with a forearm to the forehead that snaps Stank’s head back and leaves him struggling to remain standing. The champ pulls Stank up and sets him on the top rope, then hooks him for a superplex. On the outside, The Amnesiac is finally on his feet. He rummages under the ring and grabs a table and sets it up at ringside, then climbs onto the apron as Davin takes Stank off the top rope with a superplex, then rolls through and hooks Stank in a DRAGON SLEEPER! Davin is trying for the submission when The Amnesiac bounds off the ropes and catches Moreland with a Shining Wizard right upside the head. Davin releases the hold and slumps to the mat. The Amnesiac drags Davin to the apron and pulls him up, and hits a PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE TABLE! The crowd responds with a very appropriate HOLY SHIT chant! The Champ….is…..dead. The Amnesiac is trying to pull the champ out of the wreckage of the table, but from inside the ring, Stank grabs him by the head and pulls him up between the ropes into the ring, then grabs him and hits a release German suplex. The Amnesiac is folded in half! Stank gets to his feet and looks down at the wreckage of the champ and table and spits at Moreland. Stank turns around and catches a charging Amnesiac with a spinning choke slam! Stank is about to cover when we hear the crowd pop! Everyone turns their attention to the ramp where Poe is hobbling back to the ring with his ankle heavily taped, a snarl on his face. Poe climbs to the apron and Stank charges over and tries to land a haymaker, but Poe blocks it and connects with one of his own. Poe steps between the ropes and keeps the attack on Stank backing him across the ring. Poe whips Stank across the ring and catches him with a hart attack clothesline and pauses for a second before going for the cover. Poe gets a two count, but The Amnesiac breaks it up at two. The Amnesiac pulls Poe to his feet and lights him up with a couple of chops, but Poe will have none of it. He grabs The Amnesiac by the arm, knees him in the chest, and DRIVES him to the mat with a DDT! Poe grabs The Amnesiac and locks him in a camel clutch, repeatedly slamming him with cross faces until blood stains the front of The Amnesiac’s mask. Stank staggers to his feet, and see’s The Amnesiac in trouble, and bounds on the ropes, but by now, Davin Moreland has come back to life, and he reaches up and low bridges Stank, sending the big man tumbling over the top rope into the wreckage of the table. Stank struggles to one knee, and Moreland grabs a piece of the table and swings for the fences and BLASTS Stank in the face with it, sending him to the floor. Poe still has The Amnesiac trapped in a camel clutch, and The Amnesiac looks close to passing out from the pain. The referee is right there and checks the arm, it falls once, twice, thre….NO! Davin Moreland makes it back into the ring and nails Poe with a running forearm to the side of the head knocking him off of The Amnesiac to the mat. Davin immediately grabs Poe’s injured ankle and tries to lock him in an ankle lock, but Poe kicks free with his free leg. Poe gets to one knee and Davin charges, trying for a knee to Poe’s temple, but Poe moves out of the way and shoves Davin to the ropes. As Davin rebounds, Poe gets to his feet and hits him with a palm strike right to the chest, staggering the champ. Poe slips behind Moreland and locks him in the ASP DEATHLOCK! Davin struggles, but quickly starts to fade. In a last ditch desperation effort, Moreland starts to kick Poe’s injured ankle. After several shots, Poe releases the hold and staggers back to the corner, clearly in pain. Moreland shakes the cobwebs free and charges into the corner and NAILS Poe with a clothesline, then holds on and falls backward, driving Poe’s head into the mat. Davin covers Poe, but Poe rolls his shoulder at two. The Amnesiac is finally on his feet in the middle of the ring, and he pulls Davin Moreland off of Poe and sends him to the ropes and elevates him with a high back body drop. The Amnesiac cannot immediately follow up though, he falls to his knees in exhaustion. We are almost 45 minutes into this match, so fatigue has got to be setting in. Stank is stirring on the outside, and slowly climbs onto the apron and slides under the ropes. All four men are down in the ring and the referee starts the ten count. Davin gets to his feet first, and pulls Poe up and grabs him for A REALLY GOOD DIAMONS CUTTER, but Poe shoves him off right into Stank, who lifts Davin onto his shoulders and is going for a STANK-U!, but The Amnesiac POPS Stank in the mouth with a super kick, and Stank staggers backward and falls into the corner, with Davin Moreland still on his shoulders. While they are stunned, The Amnesiac catches Poe with a kick to the gut, then turns him and hits PURE AMNESIA! The Amnesiac covers, hooking the leg, one, two, thr…..NO! Once again Poe rolls his shoulder! The Amnesiac makes his way to the corner (not the one where Davin has finally crawled off Stank’s shoulders and is pummeling him with rights and lefts in the corner, but rather a different one) and makes his way to the top rope. Poe gets to his feet in the middle of the ring and hobbles over to the corner and catches The Amnesiac with a STIFF uppercut, then grabs him before he falls off the turnbuckle and sets him up and hits a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! The Amnesiac is DEAD! Poe covers, one, two, thre….WAIT! Davin charges out of the corner and grabs Poe’s injured ankle and locks him in the ankle lock! Poe howls in pain as Davin pulls him off The Amnesiac and into the middle of the ring. Poe is nearly delirious with pain, and closes his eyes trying to fight off the pain. Davin lets everyone know that he will gladly snap Poe’s ankle if he doesn’t quit. Just when it looks like Poe is going to pass out from the pain, Stank charges out of the corner and NAILS Davin with a forearm to the back of the head. Stank snarls and sets Davin up and POWERBOMBS him right ring the middle of the ring, folding him in half and holding on for a two count, but The Amnesiac makes his way back into the match, somehow, and breaks it up again. Stank shows some frustration and grabs The Amnesiac and throws him into the corner and DESTROYS him with clubbing rights and lefts to the head, then pulls him out of the ring and throws him over the top rope to the floor. Stank then grabs Poe and pulls him to his feet and hits a spinning elbow that catches Poe in the temple and sends him staggering to the ropes. Stank charges and clotheslines Poe over the top rope to the floor. Stank then turns around to face Davin Moreland, who is still on the mat after the power bomb. Davin slowly backs away toward a corner once he realizes that Stank is not happy. Stank grabs Davin and pulls him to his feet and whips him across the ring and catches the big man with a black hole slam. Stank covers, but Moreland kicks out at two. Davin tries to bail out of the ring, but Stank keeps him from leaving, and pulls him back into the ring and whips him back into the corner and hits an AVALANCHE! Stank grabs Davin as he staggers out of the corner and plants him with a belly to belly suplex. Stank starts to go for the cover, but Poe and The Amnesiac are both on the apron. Stank gets to his feet and charges, nailing both with forearms and sending them flying. Stank turns his attention back to Moreland, who is barely getting to his feet. Stank lifts him for the STANK-U but Moreland slips off his shoulders, spins Stank around and DRILLS him with a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Davin covers, but Stank kicks out at two! Davin looks stunned, and exhausted. He pulls Stank to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Stank ducks. Stank rebounds and Davin catches him with a KINDA OVERHEAD DIAMOND CUTTER (you know, since he is exhausted and Stank ain’t exactly a lightweight) Stank’s head bounces off the mat, Davin manages to roll Stank over and collapses with one arm across his chest, the referee hits the mat, and we get the dramatic one, two, three! Just before The Amnesiac makes it back into the ring! WINNER in 57:29 – Davin Moreland Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF End of Days IV! Live, March 1, from Springfield, Missouri! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 28th from Springfield, Illinois For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Jan 25, 2009 18:41:11 GMT -5 |
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Gracias, guys. Reading it after the fact now and it's still gold. Promo of the Year material if I do say so myself.
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Mikey Jan 21, 2009 23:40:41 GMT -5 |
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OOWF MidWeek Mayhem
Live! From Springfield, Ohio Before the show starts, we cut to Russ sitting behind his desk in a clearly pre-taped segment Russ: We have a Special event going on at our house shows around the world! The OOWF Jobber Tournament is a 96 person event showcasing OOWF talent whose matches don’t always make it onto TV. The winner of this tournament gets a Title shot of General Manager the Rick’s choosing. Here is a Video Recap of Round One. In the Duane Gil Bracket. Chile Bean Amazaga pinned Spazz of the Bay Bridge Boyz with a BME. Curt Anderson beats Steve the Viking with a brain buster Barbariosa advances past Taipei Viper by DQ Sammy “Firewater” Blackfoot makes Uruguay Jim submit to an Indian Death lock Yves Vachon pins Ember Blackpool with a DDT Nigel Boatswain outlasts Mikael Van De Jong by Countout Holmes Van Der Beek advances past Break of Destructolition by DQ Dr. Stone Cole Death Von Erich destroyed the British Columbian Bulldog in 18 seconds! Karl Von Krush beat Bear Bryant III with a pile driver Thomas Builds-The-Fire beat Baron Von Oregon by DQ Bert Clarke pinned Yokozuna Wanaleya with a jackhammer Yukon John West overpowers Claw Hammer with a Mafia Kick “The Love Machine” Billy Wayne Woodard beat Brutus Cooper with Full Nelson Slam Cornpone Kenny forced Moe Zouri to tap out to a grapevine leg lock. Carl From Fresno beat Maxwell Q. Klinger with an F-5 In the George South Bracket Jerry Cream melted Madman Lindbergh with a Scoop Slam Jose Manuel Ramirez Ortiz Cuervo moonsaulted and pinned “Superfly” Afa Lofatatupuwanalaya Mohammed Abdul Malik-Shabaz beat The Dark Price with a Inverted DDT “Cheesesteak” Tony DaVida beat the Minnesota Mangler with a Sunset Flip Vasco de Gama XVII destroyed The Maryland Mauler with a Choke slam Brock McCain wins with a hanging neck breaker on Brodie Delmarva Joba Dent heartpuched & pinned Jessup McCullum Puck Dupp Puck-U’d Jobber McJobsalot for the win. Montana Joe beats El Chupacabra with a DDT El Gato Furioso knocks off Russ Moore with a sleeper submission El Gran Diablo Gato outlasted Mormon Joe by Countout Fumunda Mung Oriental spiked and pinned El Warlord Sven Favre beat Joking Noah by just being Sven Favre Ben “Strangla” Franklin smothered John Obama with a STF Buddy “PS” Gordy cheated to beat Mossi Oxlade Pawtucket Pete used a baseball bat behind the referees back to beat Sanialaus Gobkopf And in the Jake Milliman Bracket The Philly Satanic bloodied W.W. Hayes II until the referee stopped the match Sum Phat Ho easily beat Blonde Poor Unfortunate Local Worker Hoak Hogin leg dropped and pinned Red Head Poor Unfortunate Local Worker Preston Davenport Quiggleville III beat Ben Ice with a pedigree Hi-Vo Sakamoto super kicked and pinned Johnny Icepick “Champagne” Mike Jablowski beat Rap master MC Freestyle by count out The Salty Dawg made Jinx tap out to a cobra clutch Mele Kalikamuka beat Stanly Savitch with a diving head butt Joey Keilbasa beat “Hacksaw” Huck Sawyer with a Clothesline from downtown. Kiwi Joe musclebusted Baldr Sigurbjornsson Bennett Sinatra advances when Kletus K. Klampett attacked a non Caucasian fan before the match began and was arrested Dean Krzyzewski beat Steve “Mongol” Kahn with a Full Court Press Slam Shiva Singh pinned La Parka Del Morte after a power bomb Gordy “Curling Stone” LaFleur beat Josiah G. Skerlock with a spear Tommy Chong Li chopped down Oubonlamphanah Souphanousinphone for the win Tune in next week for the report from Round 2! PHANTOS & LUCIOS vs. W.W. HAYES II & BRUTUS COOPER W.W. Hayes II and Brutus Cooper come to the ring, accompanied by The Youngstown Penguin and Miami Redhawk mascots. Phantos and Lucios come down next, all business. Lucios has a microphone. Lucios: I’d Like to state for the rec… Lucios’ mic has been cut off ! He is pissed! The bell sounds and we’re underway! Phantos starts off with Hayes. Short arm clothesline. Hayes reverses a whip and backdrops Phantos. He tags in Cooper, who drops a knee to Phantos’ throat. Brutus body slams Phantos and sends him hard into the corner. Phantos leapfrogs the charging Cooper and catches him in a Briscoe Rollup. 1…2.. and Cooper is just bale to kick out. Phantos nails him with several dropkicks and tags in Lucios. Luc charges in a spears Brutus into the Buckeye corner. Hayes tags back in and is greeted with a huge mafia kick. Border Toss. Fall away Slam. Flying hammerlock slam. Lucios tags in Phantos and hoists Hayes up in the electric chair. Dropkick device NO! Phantos leap off and hits a Blockbuster-type neck breaker, sending Hayes crashing to the mat. That’s their new Finisher, the Texas Death Sentence! Phantos scurries over for the pin and gets the 1…2… WAIT! The Mascots are in the ring! And they are hammering Lucios & Phantos! What is going on here. The referee calls for the bell, but it doesn’t seem to stop the madness! The Youngstown Penguin CANDAIN DETROYERS Phantos! The Miami Redhawk POWERBOMBS Lucios! They stop and take off the mascot heads… IT’S FEAR US! LD and Jack high five each other to wild applause as they head back up the ramp. Lucios comes to first and is furious. He grabs a mic, only to have it turned off on him again! GM The Rick’s music strikes up and he’s on the ramp. Lucios, I told you guys, No promos No Mic time. And be here early again NEXT WEEK! You’ll be the appetizer for a main course of Midweek Mayhem! BLITZ vs. MAXWELL Q. KLINGER Klinger works for the Toledo-based Northern Ohio Wrestling Alliance and looks surprisingly like the character his name is taken from. Naturally he comes out to “Suicide is Painless” and the crowd seems to love him. Blitz is announced, and comes to the top of the ramp to mixed reactions, then sprints to the ring and baseball slides under the bottom rope. Blitz is making his return to the OOWF after an absence of over three months. The referee calls for the bell and this one is underway. The two circle and lock up, and Klinger snaps off an arm drag. Blitz springs to his feet and gets a second one, then jumps back up and catches a clothesline from Klinger that sends him over the top rope to the floor. Blitz momentarily loses control on the outside, but then regains his composure and hops back onto the apron and steps between the ropes and gives Klinger a nice round of applause. Blitz motions for Klinger to come after him, and he does. Blitz catches him with a drop toe hold that puts Klinger on the middle rope, then Blitz leaps over the top rope and drops a leg across the back of Klinger’s head, sending him back into the ring. Blitz waits on the apron and when Klinger gets to his feet, Blitz springs off the top rope and takes Klinger to the mat with a bulldog, then covers him, and gets a two count. Blitz pulls Klinger to his feet and locks him in a standing octopus, but Klinger makes it to the ropes and forces the break. Blitz immediately lets go, which draws some cheers from the fans. Blitz turns to look at the crowd, and Klinger attacks him from behind, which draws boos from the crowd. Klinger tries a release German suplex, but Blitz flips through it and lands on his feet, when Klinger gets to his feet, Blitz leaps and takes him down with a spinning head scissors, sending Klinger to the corner. Blitz charges in and catches Klinger with a bronco buster, then pulls him to his feet and sets him on the top rope then takes a few steps back, gets a running start and scales the corner and catches Klinger with the SHINER upside the head. Klinger teeters for a moment, then his eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls to the mat. Blitz climbs to the top rope and steadies himself, then hits a BLITZ FLIP! Blitz covers, hooking the leg, and gets the one, two, three. WINNER in 4:21 – Blitz After the match, Concrete TG, Bryce Larson, Nayr and Damon Wrath come out on the top of the stage. They are all wearing The Heroes Guild t-shirts, some more reluctantly than others (Larson). They make their way to the ring and step between the ropes. Crete approaches Blitz and holds out his hand. Blitz shakes hands with Crete, and Crete hands him his own Heroes Guild t-shirt. Blitz takes it and looks at it for a moment, then slips it over his head much to the delight of the crowd. The rest of the Heroes Guild congratulates Blitz, well except for Larson, who kind of looks like he would rather be somewhere else. The gang of heroes leave the ring and head to the back amid a rousing ovation from the crowd. TYTAN & TYSON KINCAID vs. CHRIS COLE & CHRIS EVANS The lights dim, and the clicking of computer keys can be heard, leading into "For the Love of God," without the usual spoken intro, because Tytan is coming down with Tyson Kincaid, as all tag teams should come down the ramp together. Tytan stands like a statue in the ring, as Tyson poses on ring posts. The lights dim again and "Master of Puppets" cranks up. The Main Event Chris Cole comes out to the top of the ramp, playing air guitar, followed by Chris Evans, who is applauding and smiling. They come down the ramp and slide into the ring. Cole signals for a mic, and new guy Evans gives him the international symbol for "Please, go ahead." Cole: Well, well, well, here we are....in the armpit of Dayton, Springfield, Ohio.... [boos].... you know, I went to the liquor store, and there were thirty five types of grain alcohol..... [boos].... Seriously, the only thing good about Springfield is it's close to Yellow Springs. And the only thing good about Yellow Springs is you can get a biggie fries served to you by an ex-comedian who couldn't handle the pressures of Hollywood.... [boos].... I'd like to welcome my partner, the new OOWF recruit Chris Evans. I'm just sorry our first tag team match has to be against a robot and a .... what are you anyway, Tyson? Tyson shrugs. Tytan stands just as motionless as he did before. Referee Hightower takes the mic from Cole and the two teams begin to sort out who's going first. Looks like we have Tyson and Evans to start out with. Their teammates head to their corners, and we get the bell. Tyson and Evans start out stretching their hands out, teasing the show of strength, but Tyson keeps slapping Evans' hand away. Finally, they connect, and Tyson wins, getting Evans' arm behind his back. Evans does the required double shoulder slap, and Tyson pushes off and sends Evans into the ropes. Evans bounces back into an arm drag by Tyson. He gets up, but this kid has done his homework, and instead of going in for another arm drag, he surprises Tyson with a kick to the stomach, and a downward elbow to the back of the head, driving Tyson to the mat. Evans bounces off the far ropes and leg drops right onto the back of Tyson's head. He rolls him over and barely gets the cover before Tyson kicks out, easily. Tyson gets to his feet, and smirks at Evans, who returns the smirk. Tyson's smirk turns into a scowl though, as he rushes Evans into a neutral corner, and repeatedly shoulder blocks him into the ring post. Hightower counts to four and Tyson steps back. Evans staggers out of the corner, holding his ribs, and Tyson drops down for a toe-hold. Evans falls face first, and Tyson leaps on his back and tries to lock on the Sharpshooter. Evans gets free, and tries to stand, but Tyson flips him around, and lands another kick. Evans is doubled over, and Tyson grabs him for a Tiger Bomb, making a pin for two. Evans kicks out but as he's trying to get to his corner, Tyson grabs him by the foot, and drags him back, getting a Figure 4 leg lock. But he's not quite far enough from the ropes, as Evans makes a heroic effort and gets to the ropes. Tyson breaks the hold at 3, and Evans scrambles for his corner, tagging in Cole. Cole comes in with the requisite clothesline after clothesline on Tyson. But Tyson keeps getting up, but he is getting tired. He turns to look at Tytan for a tag, but Tytan is busy looking up the ramp for...someone or something. Cole grabs Tyson and Irish whips him the corner, he follows him in, but Tyson gets his elbow up. Cole falls back, and Tyson follows him out, but it's going to take more than an elbow to knock Cole down. As Tyson comes in, Cole grabs him and DDT out of nowhere! Tyson is down, and Cole covers. One...two...Tyson gets a shoulder up. Cole grabs Tyson by the hair and "helps" him up. He subdues him with a few right hooks, and then lifts him up for the really long vertical suplex. After the slam, he covers again, and Tyson again kicks out at two. Cole turns to instruct Hightower in the proper pacing for a pin fall count, but that opens the door for Tyson to hit Cole with an elbow to the back of the head, and then dives for his corner. He tags Tytan on the back, as Tytan is still looking up ramp. Tyson explains to Tytan the whole 'tag team' thing, and Tytan gets in the ring, after one last look up the ramp. Tyson yells at Tytan to "forget about her," and Tytan turns towards Cole. Cole sizes him up, and throws a right punch. Tytan just kind of absorbs it, so Cole throws a left. Again, Tytan no sells it. Cole is furious, and rushes him, but Tytan simply pushes him off. Cole loses his footing and falls, and Tytan begins putting the boots to him. Tytan apparently has other things on his mind, as he grabs Cole and pulls him up and gets him into the Shitty Full Nelson Submission Finisher. Cole struggles to get out of it, but eventually slows. Hightower comes over to check for consciousness. He raises Cole's arm once....it drops. He raises it a second time, and because we don't go for formula here, Cole's arm does not drop this time. Instead he reaches behind Tytan's head, jumps slightly, and drops down butt-first on to the mat, and a Facebreaker for Tytan. Tytan releases the hold and staggers back, grabbing his jaw. Cole runs to the corner and tags in Evans. Evans follows up on Cole's face breaker, with a series of European uppercuts, driving Tytan back into a neutral corner. He runs back, bounces off the ropes, and takes Tytan's feet out from under him with a drop kick. Tytan recovers, and gets up to one knee, but Evans follows up with the Olympic Strike (shining wizard). He makes the cover, and No! Tytan gets a shoulder up. Evans can't believe it. He looks around, a la RVD, and then goes to the top turnbuckle, he turns around, but Tytan has the chemicals of Ultimo, Inc flowing through him, and he is also up. He follows Evans to the corner, and gets to the second rope. The two exchange more blows, but Tytan's size and 'enhanced body chemistry' wins the day, as he hits the Ultimo Ending (power slam). He makes the cover, and its one-two-three done. WINNERS in 12:55 – Tytan & Tyson Kincaid NAYR vs. MATTE "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath hits, and Bryce Larson makes his way to the announce table. He places his nine belts on the table and picks up the headset, sitting between Russ and Razz. Russ: “We are joined here at ringside by "The King of Indies" Bryce "The Bad Ass Dragon” Larson.” Larson: “At least people will actually know what the hell’s going on with me on commentary.” Russ: “Yeah, well, we'll see if you do the overused "run in and beat the shit out your rival post match" spot.” Larson: “What, you think I need to do that? Hell, it would be fairer if he hit me with all nine of my belts before facing me.” Razz: “Anyway, this match is gonna be off the chain! OOWF Newcomer Matte is gonna be taking on Nayr!” Russ: “Bah Gawd Razz, I think Nayr can pull out the victory here.” Larson: “Of course Nayr's going to win. He's a top notch competitor, he just keeps costing us matches. But I would win this match, too. I've had tougher opponents in a roller hockey rink outside of Baltimore.” "I Hate Myself and Want to Die" by Nirvana blasts over the sound system, minus screeching. Matte casually walks down to the ring. The fans cheer him but he doesn't seem to care. Expressionless, he waits in his corner. "The Bridge of Khazad Dum", otherwise known as "That Song from Lord of the Rings" plays, and Nayr sprints into the ring. He stops at the announce table's side and stares at Bryce, but can't think of anything to say, so he climbs the turnbuckle and poses for the crowd. He climbs down as the ref rings the bell. Pre match handshake, and both men circle each other, Nayr hopping up and down full of energy, Matte just lazily walking. Lockup and Matte forces Nayr into a corner. Clean break but only so that Matte can whip Nayr to the ropes. Rebound, Nayr ducks a clothesline attempt and comes up with a tilt a whirl head scissors off the second rebound. Both men spring to their feet, and Nayr charges, they do the "pat on the back as he runs past" spot, and Matte catches Nayr with a knee that flips Nayr over. Matte picks up Nayr, Irish whip and Nayr is whipped chest first into the turnbuckle. Matte charges and gets a back elbow from Nayr. As he stumbles back, Nayr bounces off the second rope, uses the height and distance to drape his legs over Matte's head, and comes up with another head scissors. Both men to their feet, Nayr goes for a high dropkick but Matte dodges this and nails him with a perfect stalling dropkick of his own as Nayr springs to his feet. As Nayr again tries to get to his feet, Matte runs in with a knee which sends Nayr tumbling. Matte helps Nayr to his feet only to double him over with a kick to the gut and a front headlock! Nevermind DDT, executed perfectly before Nayr can react! Matte covers lazily with the lateral press and gets a two count. Matte shrugs and hauls up Nayr. Another kick to the gut, Matte hoists him up, and delivers a wicked looking sit out pile driver! Matte stares at the fallen Nayr for a second, then rolls over for the cover. One, two, and no! Nayr kicks out at two and a half. That was a long count, and Matte looks askance at the referee before hauling up Nayr once again. Matte thinks for a second before deciding to grab the front headlock and hoist up Nayr for a vertical suplex. Nayr squirms around a bit and twists to land behind Matte. With quick reflexes Matte elbows Nayr in the jaw and spins him over and takes him over with a hurricarana, but again Nayr kicks out at two and a half. (Razz: “Matte’s got to be wondering what he has to do to put Nayr away.” Bryce: “That’s why people need to triple up on finishers like I do. Once I plant Nayr with three super kicks or Shining Wizards, there’s no chance in hell he’ll kick out.”) Matte grabs and whips him into the corner and runs in with a clothesline. He stomps Nayr down to a sitting position and then backs off a bit. He looks quizzically at Nayr, who doesn’t move an inch. He shrugs and charges, looking for a low dropkick to Nayr’s head! But somehow Nayr finds the energy to dodge, rolling to the apron. Matte collides awkwardly with the turnbuckle. Nayr is up and quickly climbs to the top rope: missile dropkick connects. (Bryce: "Nayr finally has the upper hand on this guy. What's his name, Matty? Matthew? Matey? Oh, Matte. Right. I would have the match won by now.") Nayr leaps into the air for a leg drop to the back of Matte’s head. Nayr quickly back up and runs the ropes- springboard moonsault connects and gets a two count. Matte’s kick out sends Nayr a distance, and he rolls to the apron. Springboard... but Matte’s got this all figured out and dropkicks Nayr out of whatever move he’s trying. Matte gets up and looks bored. He eyes Nayr and then looks at the turnbuckle. He drags up Nayr, who’s too busy clutching his chest to fend off another onslaught of blows. Matte drags Nayr to the corner and sits on the second rope. He pulls up Nayr, and he’s going for a second rope power bomb! But Nayr reverses into a hurricarana- No, it’s the Driver of a Thousand Truths! Still clutching his chest, Nayr goes to the apron and then to the top rope. He signals, leaps and gets huge air with the Mordor Hangover! Hooks the legs, one, two, three! WINNER in 10:11 - Nayr Russ: “Both men fought hard, but you have to be impressed with Nayr’s victory here tonight.” Bryce: "You know what, no. I don't have to be impressed with Nayr's win. It took him forever and he was losing pretty much the entire match. In fact, I could beat three guys in the time it took him to beat Matte. GM The Rick, I’m laying down a challenge right now. I want a match against three successive opponents. That’s right, I want to Run the Gauntlet!" Bryce grabs his titles and leaves while his announcement sinks in. Razz: “Oh my God, Russ, did you hear that? Bryce is gonna prove to everyone he’s better than Nayr. He’s gonna wrestle against three guys in a gauntlet match!” Russ: “Bah Gawd, of course I heard him. He was sitting right next to me.” Razz: “That match is gonna be off the chain!” STANK & SPIN HANSEN vs. POE & MOOSEHEAD JACK Moosehead Jack makes the first entrance, Ignoring the fans, he stalks to the ring and slumps in the corner. Poe is out next, accompanied by Selena. Poe enters the ring, and he and Moose glare up the aisle as the crowd erupts to the strains of Alcoholin’ Ass and Spin Hansen and Stank enter the arena. Stank acknowledges the fans on his way down the aisle, but Spin, decked out as Voldsohmet, stares straight ahead and marches to the ring. The four men face off in the middle of the ring, but there is no trash talk. Instead, after a long stare down, Poe and Stank turn back to their corners, leaving Moose and Spin to start things off. Referee Mel Creech calls for the bell and we’re underway. Moose and Spin lock up and Spin takes quick advantage, backing Moose to the corner. Mel is too preoccupied to call for a break, so Moose creates his own with a kick to the unmentionables. Spin stumbles back, and Moose explodes out of the corner with a diving clothesline. Moose mounts Spin and starts throwing punches, and before long his fists are bloody. Spin kicks him off and rolls to his knees. Moose tries a running knee, but Spin drives a straight right into his stomach and follows up with a brutal DDT. Spin drags Moose to his feet and tosses him into the corner. Spin attacks with forearms and chops, then starts an Irish whip, pulls him back in, and belly-to-belly suplexes him into the corner. Moose slams hard into the turnbuckles and hits the mat head-first. Spin drags Moose onto his shoulders and drags him to the D&D corner to make the tag. Stank enters the ring and drops to one knee, and Spin hoists Moose over his head and drives his stomach into Stank’s knee. Stank rolls Moose over and covers, but Poe breaks it up at two. Poe gets a number of shots in while Mel is distracted trying to keep Spin from coming back in. Poe sends Stank to the ropes, but gets steamrolled by a clothesline. Stank hits the opposite ropes, and Moose catches him with a drop toehold on the way back. Moose gets in a number of elbows to the back of Stank’s head before Mel manages to pull him off. Moose shakes Mel off and goes back to the attack, trying to lock on the Jiendo, but a boot to the head from Spin puts an end to that. With both men down, Mel starts a slow count, but Moose is up by three. He drives a knee into Stank’s temple as he tries to get up, then rolls to his corner for the tag. Poe rocks Stank with some European uppercuts, then kicks him in the stomach and drops him with a DDT. He doesn’t even attempt a cover, and drags Stank to a neutral corner, propping him up in a sitting position against the turnbuckles. A running knee later, and Stank is bleeding as well. Poe pulls a groggy Stank to his feet and nearly decapitates him with a super kick. He makes a cover, but Spin dives in to break it up at one. This brings Moose in as well, and he sprints across the ring and hits a diving clothesline that takes he and Spin to the floor. Poe turns back to Stank, but takes a head butt to the stomach, followed by a jawbreaker. Stank gets to his feet and does some serious stomping, then drags Poe to his feet and hoists him for the Stank-U. Poe grabs the top rope to block, so Stank hits the move over the ropes to the floor. Poe gets very slowly to his feet, and Stank lumbers across the ring and dives between the ropes, driving Poe into the ring barrier. Mel checks on Stank and Poe, while Spin and Moose continue to brawl around the ring. By this point Moose is bleeding as well, the result of a close encounter with the ring steps. Moose sidesteps a punch, then grabs Spin by the hair and drives his face into the railing. Moose sees that Mel is distracted, and reaches for the ring bell. The CLANG as it hits Spin’s head draws Mel’s attention, but by that point the bell is back where it belongs. With Spin down momentarily, Moose heads over to help Poe. They plant Stank with a tandem suplex, and both men stomp away until Mel makes them stop. Moose returns to his corner as Mel wakes Spin up and makes him do the same. Poe shoves Stank back into the ring, slamming his head into the apron and choking him with the bottom rope in the process. Poe props Stank up in the corner and chokes him, breaking several times just before Mel’s count reaches five. While Mel is busy, Moose sidles over to the opposite corner and unlaces the top turnbuckle pad. Moose drops the pad on the floor just as Poe decides to attempt an Irish whip. Stank reverses, however, and sends Poe hard into the corner. Poe’s head slams into the turnbuckle and he goes down like he’s been shot, blood pouring from his head and mixing with the already grisly mess on the mat. Stank foregoes the cover and drags Poe to the D&D corner, reaching out to tag Spin. Spin brutalizes Poe with punches and kicks, then sets him up for the Jaegerbomb. Before he can hit the move, he sees Moose yank Stank off the apron. Spin drops Poe and yells at Moose, distracted just long enough for Poe to roll him up from behind for the three count. WINNERS, in 14:07, Moosehead Jack and Poe. After the match: Stank and Moose continue to brawl at ringside, turning the front row fans’ clothes into blood-stained e-bay fodder, while Poe brutalizes Spin inside the ring. Mel slips out of the ring and tries to separate Moose and Stank, he grabs Moose by the hair and tries to pull him off, Moose spins around and HEARTPUNCHES Creech! Creech falls to the floor, and Moose pounces on him, hammering him on the face with brutal shots! This is going to be a hefty fine. Stank stands there too stunned to do anything for a moment, finally he grabs Moose from behind and pulls him off of the bloody referee. They continue their brawl and the fight rages to the back. IHOP vs. CONCRETE TG, BRYCE LARSON & DAMON WRATH – OOWF Campeonas de Trios Title Match Antonio Barros is YOUR referee! IHOP out first to a chorus of boos. "With Jupiter in Mind" starts, but just before the pyro goes off there's a digital "scrambling" sound and "Front Line" by Pillar erupts, bringing the crowd to their feet. Crete walks out with Damon Wrath by his side, followed (several steps behind) by a very unconvinced Bryce Larson. IHOP bails from the ring as Crete and Wrath hit the ring and pose for the crowd. Bryce just rolls his eyes as he hops up, wipes his feet on the apron and climbs in. Skurge points at the ring and shouts "NERDS~!" While SYB and THE Amnesiac laugh. Wrath looks perplexed until Crete summons his partners to huddle up. As they confer, the heels circle the ring and mock Concrete for planning out in the open. SYB leans in to grab Wrath's ankle and gets his hand stomped on! SYB howls and staggers away. Skurge lumbers up to grab Wrath's ankle but is too late as the three of them break up and back up to the far side of the ring. Wrath charges first, threatening to plancha the three of them but stops short, watching IHOP scatter anyway. Wrath laughs at them but they scatter again as Crete charges the ropes, but he doesn't leap either. The five of them argue while Bryce just rolls his eyes at the whole mess. Crete orders him to the ropes, and he dutifully marches over. Wrath just picks Bryce up and THROWS HIM AT ALL OF IHOP! Skurge catches Bryce and power slams him on the floor. They're about to stomp him down when CTG baseball slides out and kicks THE Amnesiac into the guard wall. He "Rescues" Bryce while Damon taunts. Skurge almost gets a paw on Bryce again but Wrath kicks Skurge in the face. Barros finally backs Wrath away from the ropes and the trio allow IHOP to finally enter the ring. Skurge remains in the ring for IHOP while Crete starts for the loose band of "heroes". The two lock up, Skurge taking the early advantage and just shoving Crete to the mat. CTG looks stunned as Skurge flexes and shouts "NERDS~!!" again. CTG stands, almost offended at the statement, but then smirks and jumps right back in. Another lockup a bit of a struggle, but Skurge's shove doesn't put Crete down! CTG merely staggers and catches himself, angering Skurge. He charges - and is stopped short by a HEROES POSE! Crowd laughs as Skurge angrily stomps around the ring. THE Amnesiac tags himself in to let Skurge cool off. The two face off a moment, the crowd waiting for the first move. Crete still shows some disappointment that THE Amnesiac chose the path of darkness, but refuses to back down from him. THE Amnesiac responds by slapping Crete in the face! The slap is returned with a blistering CHOP to the chest! The two exchange a couple of swings before Crete grabs THE Amnesiac and slings him across the ring. Crete vaults THE Amnesiac with a big back body drop, but THE Amnesiac lands on his feet. Crete turns around and is shocked at his opponent's agility! THE Amnesiac gets in some shots before slinging Crete across the ring. Crete rebounds and hits THE Amnesiac with a flying shoulder block. He rolls to his feet and poses again at Skurge, who roars and climbs in after Crete. The superhero backs away and while Barros tries (and fails) to back Skurge up, THE Amnesiac grabs Crete and hits him with a bridging German suplex. Crete still kicks out at what would be two, and he rolls back to tag in Wrath as Barros is NOT able to contain Skurge. Wrath stomps in Skurge's direction and suddenly Barros is trapped between what he thinks are two illegal men! With Barros distracted, THE Amnesiac hops down and hurries over to the other corner to taunt Bryce for his "poor choice of friends". Bryce starts arguing with THE Amnesiac but decides it'd be faster to shut him up by leaping off the apron and flipping THE Amnesiac across the floor with a hurricanrana. So while those two are brawling on the floor, Crete is trying to plead his case about the tag and Skurge is looking to knock some heads. Skurge shoves Wrath, Wrath shoves back, and when Barros tries to break that up SYB sneaks back in the ring and brains Crete with a chair! Wrath turns and snarls at SYB, but before the little guy can get rid of the chair Barros is calling for the bell. WINNERS BY DQ in 7:35 - Concrete TG, Damon Wrath and Bryce Larson After the match, Wrath AND Skurge start chasing SYB. Crete hops out of the ring to help Bryce with THE Amnesiac, but that pull apart takes a few minutes. SEAMUS MCNASTY vs. ALEXANDER DARLING – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match Alexander Darling is announced, and his music starts to play, but there is no Alexander Darling. The music stops, and he is announced a second time, but still no Darling. An official races to the ring from the back and confers with the announcer, and they move on, announcing the OOWF Onslaught Champion Seamus McNasty. Seamus comes out to the top of the ramp and pauses for the cheers of the crowd. He makes his way to the ring and steps between the ropes, then walks to the announcer and asks what is going on. As things are being explained to Seamus, he doesn’t see a large man in a black hoodie jump the railing and slide into the ring. The man pulls a large chain from his pocket and wraps it around his fist, grabs Seamus and spins him around, and BLASTS him in the face! What the hell! Seamus goes down like he has been shot! He tries to get to his feet, but the hooded man NAILS him in the face again. He pounces on Seamus and hammers him on the face with repeated shots with that chain wrapped fist until Seamus is a bloody mess. He pulls Seamus to his feet and starts to whip him to the ropes, then pulls him back and catches him with a CLUBBING forearm to the face! Seamus slumps to the mat, blood dripping from his face. But the hooded man is not done yet. He pulls Seamus to his feet and lifts him up, and hits an INVERTED BRAIN BUSTER! Seamus is DEAD! The hooded man picks up the Onslaught title and stares at it for a moment, then drops it across Seamus’ chest. He then looks out over the crowd and slowly reaches up and pulls back his hood……… IT’S DH MAGNUSSON!! WHAT THE HELL???? Magnusson looks out over the crowd, which is sitting in stunned silence. He slowly steps between the ropes, hops off the apron and makes his way to the back without saying a word. Medics attend to Seamus inside the ring, obviously, there is no match. WINNER – No Match FEAR US vs. THE CHICKENSHIT HEELS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Match The challengers both enter to their music, but walk to the ring 20 feet apart, AA in front of Johnny. Once in the ring, they argue in their corner while waiting for the champions. And the champs arrive pissed off, ready to kick the shit out of TCH. Neither Johnny nor AA want to begin the match, and both stand on the apron waiting for the other to step in. The referee calls for the bell and when nobody steps in, he begins a count. The ref gets to 5 before Williams and Jack come over and deck both guys, and the fight begins on the floor. Williams kicks AA into the guardrail while OBJ drops Johnny stomach first onto the rail on the adjacent side of the ring. Jack clotheslines JA in the back of the head, sending him tumbling into the crowd, and LDW slings AA carelessly into the stairs. Williams slams AA's head into the stairs ten times then just shoves him to the floor. OBJ suplexes Johnny back to the ringside area, then rolls him in. Williams crawls in, and Jack follows and OBJ drills Johnny with the BOOMERANG~! Jack covers, but the ref says Williams is legal. The champs think that's kinda petty and they bitch about that. The momentary distraction allows Johnny to drag himself to the corner... but there's nobody there. JA pulls himself up, sees AA down, and cusses at him to get his fat ass up. Before he can, however, Williams German suplexes Johnny out of his boots. Again. And again. Johnny goes low to stop that and then elbows LDW down. To the ropes and Johnny hits a spine buster and crawls to the corner, but AA is reaching with his left hand when his right would be several feet closer. And sure enough, when Johnny gets closer, AA short arms him. Johnny pulls himself up, and he and AA have words. JA's pissed and rightfully so and forcefully slaps AA on the chest and tags out. AA ain't happy with that and steps in... but when AA tries to slap him back, Johnny leans back on the ropes, and that allows OBJ, now legal, to come from behind and pound AA down. Jack with a butterfly suplex and then a double arm DDT. OBJ with some European uppercuts and then an inverted atomic drop. Tag to Williams, and he gets a measured shot to the gut. Swinging neck breaker, but AA fights off the STF, and the sequence ends up with AA back dropping Williams over the top and to the floor. AA over to tag out, but Johnny takes that opportunity to walk down the apron and talk some shit to Williams, who's on the floor. AA follows and slaps Adrenaline HARD on the back, and despite not being in the corner, the ref says it's a tag. Johnny hops to the floor, but is too distracted to really do anything, and before he can attack LDW, Williams catches him with a knee lift. To the post goes Johnny and Williams slams his shoulder into the post again. Back in, tag to Jack, and a double flapjack gets two. Johnny tries to pick OBJ's leg, but gets kicked in the face instead. Old school belly to belly suplex gets two as JA gets a foot on the rope. Johnny blocks a DDT, but eats a gourd buster instead. LDW back in and soccer kicks JA in the gut. Williams ties the shoulder up in the rope and gets some shots in before having to break. OBJ back in and pounds Johnny down. Kangaroo Clutch and Johnny's in trouble, but JA manages to grab the ref's pants and pull him into OBJ just enough to break the hold. As the ref regains his bearings, Johnny gets a blatant low blow to put OBJ down. JA to his feet and falls to the corner for the tag... but AA hops off the apron instead!! Johnny looks to the floor, sees AA walking out, and is STEAMED! Johnny follows out, grabs AA from behind and they have a shouting match in the aisle way. Johnny walks back toward the ring and AA follows, wanting to have the last word. More shouting ensues as the champs watch on in amusement from the ring and the argument culminates when JOHNNY SLAPS AA IN THE FACE~! AA oversells it proper, and Johnny rolls him into the ring. AA pops up and has some more words as Johnny gets back on the apron. AA slaps Johnny back! And Johnny shoves AA back toward the center of the ring... and he stumbles right into the CALL OF THE WILD~! Johnny hops off the apron and walks off laughing and OBJ gets the academic three count to retain. WINNERS at 15:57 and STILL OOWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: FEAR US FIREWOMAN vs. FF CAPSLOCK – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match FF Capslock is announced and he comes to the ring first to the cheers of the crowd. Lock steps between the ropes and waits in the corner for his opponent to come to the ring. “Firewoman” by The Cult plays and Firewoman comes out, alone. Fire has the title around her waist, but there is an odd look in her eyes tonight. Firewoman makes her way to the ring, but the eyes, something about the eyes, just a very dark look in her eyes. Fire steps between the ropes and drops her title and immediately charges across the ring and shocks Capslock with several shots to the face. Capslock tries to cover up, still stunned from the unexpected onslaught. He blocks some, but several stiff find their mark. Fire tries a whip across the ring, but Capslock reverses it, but Fire doesn’t hit the corner, she stops herself, then catches a charging Capslock with a back elbow to the face. Capslock grabs his nose in pain, and Firewoman grabs him and throws him between the ropes to the floor. Firewoman leaves the ring and goes after Lock and grabs him by the back of the head and slams him face first into the Spanish Announce Table, but Capslock fires back and catches Fire with an elbow to the midsection. When Fire stands up, Capslock catches her with a clothesline that nearly decapitates her. Lock pulls Fire to her feet and rolls her under the bottom rope into the ring, then follows. Fire is already in a sitting position so Capslock grabs her by the back of the head and tilts her head back and repeatedly drops elbows down across her face. Capslock then pulls Fire to her feet and peppers her with rights and lefts to the face. Fire staggers back to the ropes, but when Capslock tries a whip, Fire catches him with a knee to the midsection that doubles him over. Fire springs off the bottom rope and drives a knee right to the back of Lock’s head, sending him to the mat. Fire slips out of the ring and pulls Lock part way out of the ring so his head is hanging off the apron, then gets a running start and kicks him right in the temple. Lock falls to the floor and Fire pulls him up and whips him face first into the ring steps. Capslock rolls over into a sitting position and we can see he has been busted wide open. Fire doesn’t even hesitate, she charges in and hammers Capslock with shots to the face until her knuckles are covered in blood. Capslock shoves her away and staggers to his feet, Firewoman charges in, but Lock gets a boot up that catches her right on the jaw. Lock rolls Fire into the ring, then follows, wiping the blood from his eyes. Capslock pulls Fire to her feet and pulls her up into a vertical suplex, then falls forward, DRIVING her onto the mat, and sending the air from her lungs. Lock rolls her over and repeatedly drops knees across her chest, then grabs the back of her head and HAMMERS her face with rights and lefts until the referee threatens him with disqualification. Finally Lock lets Fire get to her feet, Fire swings wildly, still trying to gain her balance on rubber legs, but Lock grabs one arm, then traps the other, then REPEATEDLY slams her in the face with head buts. Lock lets her go, and takes a step back and charges and catches her with a boot to the face that sends her over the top rope to the floor. When the camera catches up with Fire, we see that she has also been busted open right above the eye, probably from the head butts. Lock leaves the ring and pulls Fire to her feet, then scoops her up and drops her throat first on the guard rail, snapping her head back. Lock pulls Fire to her feet and lifts her and slams her back first into the ring post, then throws her back into the ring and follows, covering her, but only getting a two count. Capslock pulls Fire up and sends her to the ropes and catches her in a bear hug on the rebound, but Fire quickly digs her fingers into the gash on Lock’s forehead, and he drops her and staggers backward to the corner. Firewoman gets a head of steam and tries to charge into the corner with a stinger splash, but Lock catches her and swats her to the mat. Fire hits hard, but rolls out of the ring before Lock can cover. Capslock falls to one knee inside the ring grabbing his head, and from the outside, Fire grabs his legs, flips the big man over and POSTS him! The referee gives Fire a warning, but evidently decides not to disqualify her. Firewoman grapevines Lock’s legs and traps him in a POST FIGURE FOUR! Capslock howls in pain, but does not submit, not that it would matter anyway, since it is technically an illegal move. Firewoman breaks the hold amid threats of disqualification and rummages under the ring and sets up a table. She slips back into the ring and sweeps Caps lock’s legs just as he gets to his feet, sending him back to the mat. Fire rolls Lock out of the ring and onto the table, then climbs onto the table with him. Fire grabs Lock’s arms, and plants her foot on the back of his head, she is going to FIRESTOMP him! But Lock realizes what is about to happen and wiggles free, sending Fire off the table, crashing ribs first into the guard rail. Lock rolls off the table and comes after Fire, but she recovers and POPS him in the mouth with a super kick, sending him back onto the table. Firewoman makes her way to the apron, grabbing her ribs, and climbs up and is about to spring off the bottom rope with a firesault, when Lock gets off the table, grabs Firewoman, and POWERBOMBS HER OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE TABLE! The crowd pops a HOLY SHIT chant, and the referee really isn’t sure what to do here. Both wrestlers are down in the wreckage, so he starts a fresh ten count. He gets to six before Lock stirs and pulls Firewoman out of the wreckage and rolls her under the ropes into the ring. Lock crawls across the ring and falls across Fire, one, two, thre…..NO! Somehow Fire rolls her shoulder! Lock stares at the referee clearly stunned. Capslock pulls Fire up and drags her to the corner and sets her on the top rope and climbs up for a superplex, but Fire grabs the top rope and fights it off. The two battle on the top rope, Fire finally claws at Lock’s eyes, and gives him a shove, but before he falls off the top, Lock grabs Fire and pulls her off the top as well. Capslock falls backward and lands HARD on the back of his head. Fire falls awkwardly off the top rope and guillotines herself on the top rope, her head snapping back and her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Fire falls to the mat, and just manages to get an arm across Lock’s chest, the referee hits the mat and counts one, two, three, but neither moves. WINNER in 26:29 - Firewoman DAVIN MORELAND vs. ERIC O’MAC – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match The lights in the arena go out for about 10 seconds. About 5 seconds in, the fans hear "C'MON MAN!" The lights stay off until the lyrics "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!" hit. At that point, pyro, lots of pyro, and Eric comes out onto the ramp. Eric's entrance attire consists of a trench coat/hooded robe that matches his ring attire which is a blue and silver combo tonight. The Springfield crowd is all hyped up over this, and as Eric slaps hands with the fans on the way down to the ring, they already start an “Eric O’Mac” chant before the music even starts. The Former World Champion does the Douchebag Pose, which is apparently a good thing nowadays, and the crowd recognizes this accordingly. Suddenly, the lights change, but they don’t completely go out. This confuses the Springfield Sheep. Spotlights…there have to be 5 of them at least, start shining all over the arena before they all focus on the top of the ramp. No one is really quite sure as to who this might be. That starts up, and before the music kicks in after the first couple of seconds, there’s a pyro display. And by pyro display, I mean about 3 times bigger than the opening sequence pyro. It’s a lot. By the time Davin Moreland appears with Samantha Darling at the top of the ramp, the crowd is out for blood, and it looks like there’s a prize for throwing your beer the farthest. Samantha and Davin have the matching sunglasses working, and Davin isn’t wearing his belt, he’s just holding it, and apparently out to make sure there aren’t any lingering Davin Moreland Fans out there. He flashes the Madison Ave. smiles, and gives an exaggerated Douchebag Pose with the belt. Apparently they don’t LIKE Davin’s Douchebag pose as much. The booing is literally rocking the arena. Like Vickie Guerrero Heat times about 100. Davin takes his sweet-ass time getting to the ring, just missing a couple of batteries headed his way. He gets in the ring finally and decides to do the full 4-corner pose, and, clearly, this isn’t popular with the fans. He hands the belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower, who holds it high in the air…This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower is about to ring the bell, but Eric holds him up and mentions to Davin that he still has his sunglasses on. Davin says something to the effect of “it being very bright in here” (complete with the appropriate gestures). Eric, who’s supposed to be very focused here, does all he can do to not laugh at the picture before him; apparently he can appreciate what it’s like to be as big an ass as possible. Hightower smiles as he calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! The two men circle slowly, and go to lock up. Eric smartly ducks and goes behind, locking in a Waistlock, but he eats a SHARP elbow for his trouble. Eric doesn’t fall, but definitely takes a few steps back to gather himself. Davin stomps over to him across the ring, and looks to take advantage, but eats a HUGE Straight Kick right to the grill. Davin bends over holding his chin. Eric hits the near ropes, and hits THE THROWBACK on Davin, who was in perfect position for it. Eric decides to quickly cover, but Davin kicks out before Hightower even slides down to count. Davin tries to scramble to his feet, but Eric hits an AXE KICK to the back of Davin’s neck on the way up. THAT hurt. Eric struggles to roll Davin over but does, and gets a quick 2-count for his trouble. With Davin on his back, Eric grabs Davin’s leg, and screams “WHOOOO!” He locks in a FIGURE FOUR on the big man. Davin thrashes around a little bit, and Eric just yells “ASK HIM!” over and over. Davin is nowhere near the ropes, but he uses his superior strength advantage to ROLL OVER AND REVERSE THE PRESSURE! Davin arches back as far as he can, and now it’s ERIC who needs to get to the ropes. I don’t think this is what Eric was originally looking for. Finally, Eric gets to the ropes, and Hightower calls for the break. Davin apparently has some selective hearing loss, and Hightower has to break the hold himself. Eric bundles himself out to the floor, and Davin takes his time getting up. O’Mac is holding his back as he’s starting to get up, and doesn’t see Davin FLYING at him with a TOPE CON HILO! Davin gets immediately to his feet and starts playing to the crowd, with predictable results. Davin easily picks up Eric and does a PUMPING PRESS SLAM, and makes sure the barrier catches Eric right in his throat. Freaking ow. Davin pulls up Eric a bit, and WHIPS him into the STEEL STEPS. Surprisingly, they don’t fall apart, and that makes Davin’s follow-up STALLING BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAHH a little tougher to catch right on the stairs. Eric is in some rough shape, and Davin has to roll in and break the count. He’s about to roll out, but appears to have a change of heart, and heads to the top of the nearest turnbuckle. He facing in toward the ring at first, but then changes his mind and faces out toward O’Mac. He takes off and tries the 450 SPLASH…and EATS STEEL STEPS! Eric JUST gets out of the way, and Davin catches the stairs full on. Eric climbs up onto the apron and makes his way slowly over…he jumps and hits a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! Now it’s Davin holding his throat as he falls to the floor. Eric takes a few steps back…then a few more…and as Davin gets to all fours, Eric starts sprinting! He goes for the ORTON PUNT, and just milliseconds before he connects, Davin is able to Matrix himself out of the way. Eric almost hits the barrier, but manages to stop short. Davin springs out of nowhere, and tries to hit a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Eric SOMEHOW shoves Davin off, and Davin plows into the barrier. Eric takes this second to roll into the ring and break the count. He rolls out and picks up a conveniently empty STEEL CHAIR, and the crowd is in agreement with this. They’re going nuts. Eric looks around, then looks back to the top of the ring. He heads to the top of the closest turnbuckle, and holds the chair up to the delight of the crowd! He leaps and tries to hit the O’MACINATOR, but Davin simply flattens himself on the ground, and Eric O’MACINATES the Barrier. Ow. Eric has trouble getting up and is holding his knees. Davin hits a quick NECKBREAKER and heads for the ring. He rolls in and demands Hightower start a count. Moreland immediately takes a knee. Eric struggles to get up, and gets on his hands and knees anyway, and starts crawling toward the ring. Davin’s back up now, and watching intently. Eric starts to stand at 7. Davin climbs his nearest local neighborhood turnbuckle, and takes off, looking for a MISSLE DROPKICK, but Eric dives for the ring at 9. Davin TRIES to land on his feet, but his knees both buckle, and he’s down. Eric is in the ring on his back. Now it’s Davin struggling to get up. He’s on his feet at 6, and heads toward the ring. Eric is back up, and goes over to where Davin is trying to get into the ring. Hightower gets in the way, and tries to get O’Mac to back up. Eric’s not interested in backing up, so they start arguing. Neither of them see Davin, who has made it to the apron. Davin tries for a SPRINGBOARD FLYING BURRITO by trying to jump OVER Hightower to get to Eric. Unfortunately, physics still apply and Davin can’t quite pull it off. He almost clears Hightower, but his feet clip Hightower in the back of the head on the way by. Apparently this is akin to Hightower being shot in the head with an RPG, and he’s now dead. Davin HITS the forearm on Eric, and Eric falls over. Davin is about to cover, but sees Hightower being dead and all, so instead he drags Eric over to the STEEL RING POST! He gets a leg on each side of it…and locks on a STEEL POST ASSISTED FIGURE FOUR! Eric’s in trouble. Eric’s in HUGE trouble, because there’s no referee to stop this. Suddenly, down the ramp jogs Alexander Darling! He climbs into the ring and heads over to the 2, and Davin starts literally yelling at him to “get out of here”. Alexander’s not down with that, so he starts DROPPING ELBOWS on Eric. Tiring of that, he heads to the top turnbuckle, and hits a MACHO MAN ELBOW. Who, oh WHO will come to Eric’s defense? Right on cue, here comes, of all people…POE! Poe hits the ring, and IMMEDIATELY starts blasting Darling from behind; and hits a SIDE SUPLEX before literally STRANGLING him. Davin, at this point, is compelled to break the hold, and ducks out for a STEEL CHAIR. He slides back in and WAFFLES POE with the STEEL CHAIR right off the head. Again Davin tears into Darling, and Darling eventually says “Too late now”. To which, Davin has no response. They both go over to Poe and get him on Darling’s shoulders…DARLING DRIVER DIAMOND CUTTER~! Poe is out, but before they can turn around, Eric WAFFLES Darling with the STEEL CHAIR! He tries for an EKO on Davin, but Davin manages to shove him off. Eric stops short and SPRINTS back, and Davin hits a BIIIG BACK BODY DROP on Eric. Davin does the once-over on the situation. The crowd is absolute going batshit…they don’t like this. No. They don’t like this at all. And they REALLY don’t like it when Davin locks in a GRAPEVINED ANKLE LOCK ON POE! Eric is up and tries to break it up, but Darling cuts him off. They get in each other’s faces, until Eric tires of this. KICK-WHAM-O’MAC STUNNER! He does a MOUNT PUNCH spot on Darling. Finally, Hightower wakes up and sees the madness surrounding them. He calls for the bell, obviously, because THIS is the OOWF! We. Are. No Contests! WINNER – No Decision in 19:16 by Double Outside Interference…NO DECISION! Moreland, still with the Ankle Lock applied, hears the bell, and looks over at Eric bloodying Darling. This makes Davin break the hold, and runs over and PULLS OFF Eric. They start yelling at each other, and somewhere in here, Hightower hands him the belt. Davin holds it high in the air, and that’s the last thing we see. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 21st from Springfield, Michigan For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Jan 14, 2009 20:00:28 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 01/07/09[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Davin Moreland (E, 7-7) 1. Firewoman – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+5, 9-4) 2. Seamus McNasty – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-6, 5-11) 3. Poe (+6, 11-5) 4. Nayr (+4, 7-3) 5. FF Capslock (+4, 5-1) 6. Outback Jack (+3, 9-6)* 7. SYB (+3, 9-6)** 8. Stank (+3, 8-5) 9. LD Williams (+2, 8-6)* 10. Bryce Larson (+2, 7-5) 11. Matte (+2, 2-0) 12. Tytan (+1, 9- 13. The Amnesiac (+1, 8-7)** 14. Moosehead Jack (+1, 8-7) 15. Skurge (+1, 8-7) 16. Chris Cole (+1, 7-6) 17. Chris Evans (+1, 1-0) 18. Alexander Darling (E, 8- 19. Concrete TG (E, 8- 20. Tyson Kincaid (-2, 7-9) 21. Lucios (-2, 7-9) 22. Phantos (-2, 7-9) 23. Eric O’Mac (-2, 3-5) 24. Spin Hansen (-3, 5- 25. Attitude Adjuster (-5, 5-10) 26. Johnny Adrenaline (-5, 4-9) 27. Damon Wrath (-11, 2-13) *OOWF World Tag Team Champions **OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions World Tag Team Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Fear Us (+3, 6-3) 1. Revenge of the Nerds (+3, 5-2) 2. Phantos & Lucios (E, 7-7) 3. IHOP (E, 3-3) 4. The Chickenshit Heels (-2, 4-6)
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Jack Quinn Jan 10, 2009 20:42:28 GMT -5 |
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Thanks for the thoughts, all - it's a kindness. Luckily, nothing was TOO severe, there was just a lot of it. Things have settled now, however - and hopefully will stay that way.
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karmic Jan 9, 2009 0:14:40 GMT -5 |
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FIREWOMAN vs. TYTAN – OOWF Intercontinental Title Steel Cage Match
And ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event of the evening here in Springfield, Maryland. The sound of typing is heard and then “Perfection Can Be Created…” leads right into “For The Love of God” by Steve Vai begins to play. Tytan appears through the flickering lights and makes some poses on the ramp. This crowd is mostly cheering him as he makes his way down to the ring. He walks around the outside of the ring and checks the sturdiness of the cage before climbing up the steps and into the ring. He bounces off the ropes a few times as the lights dim and there is suddenly a burst of flames on the stage. The Cult’s “Firewoman” kicks in as Firewoman walks through an opening in the flames. FW seems to be basking in the heat of the fire while Alexis Darling rushes past her to avoid getting burnt. Firewoman snickers as she takes off her Intercontinental Championship belt from around her waist. She passes it to Alexis Darling along with a quick kiss on the cheek before running down the ramp and sliding through the open door under the bottom rope and into the ring. She charges right at Tytan and would have gotten him if Mel Creech didn’t block her path and inform her the match hasn’t yet started. Tytan looks furious as he gestures between Firewoman and Alexis and is screaming at Creech that this was supposed to be just Firewoman and himself. Creech says there’s nothing he can do because Alexis is a licensed manager of everyone in Run DEA. Tytan has had enough and he makes a signal to the back. Firewoman and Alexis turn to face the entrance when Mr. Biggs appears and makes his way down the aisle. Now Firewoman is pissed and motioning that Biggs shouldn’t be allowed out here. Mr. Biggs shows a piece of paper to Mel and the camera zooms in and across the top in big, bold letters we see MANAGERS LICENSE. Firewoman is furious now that her advantage on the outside has been nullified and Creech just shrugs as he calls for the bell. Fire is unprepared for that event though as Tytan charges and crushes her in the corner with the momentum of a powerful train. FW crumbles to the mat under the force of Tytan and he doesn’t waste time in following up by bouncing off the ropes and almost taking Fire’s head off with a face-wash kick. Tytan is going for the quick win as he drags FW to the center of the ring, but it’s way too early to take down the champ as Tytan only gets a one count. He picks Tytan up off the mat and goes for a scoop slam but Fire slides out his grasp and hits him with a dropkick to the inner leg. Tytan staggers back as Firewoman bounces off the ropes and goes for another dropkick. Tytan is really staggering now and FW bounces off the ropes again, but Tytan avoids the dropkick and goes for a clothesline, but Fire matrixes back out of the way and in one fluid motion does a complete flip and kicks Tytan right in the side of the head. Tytan drops to one knee and tries to shake the cobwebs out, but he has no time to do that as Fire runs right at him and connects with a SHINING WIZARD. This match has started off at an insane pace and Fire looks to continue that as she drags Tytan towards the ropes and places his leg across the middle rope. She bounces up and down a few times on the bottom rope before bringing her full body weight down on Tytan’s knee and I don’t think a knee is supposed to bend that way. Creech is trying to count to five, but this being inside a cage and having no rules, basically renders him pointless as FW comes crashing across Tytan’s knee again. Fire is trying to ground the big man and it seems to be working for the time being as she now works a spinning toehold against Tytan. Tytan is struggling to turn himself around and grab the ropes as Fire keeps reapplying the hold. Tytan finally works his way around and grabs the middle rope, but Fire refuses to let go of the spinning toe-hold and there is nothing that our referee can do about it. Finally Tytan struggles enough and takes a good grasp of the middle rope as he pulls his legs in and Fire’s face crashes into the cage. Tytan hops up to his feet as Fire wipes her face. She looks at her hands and doesn’t see anything of note, but as she puts her hand down she barely has time to notice Tytan’s big forearm wrapping around her throat with the DECAPITATOR. Firewoman does a complete flip before landing on her back. Tytan wastes no time in dead lifting Fire off the mat and placing her over his shoulder and using her as a battering ram into the cage. Over and over and over and over again until he finally drops her across the top rope. FW falls to the mat and slowly rolls over and we see that she is pouring blood. Tytan takes some of the blood and wipes it across his chest. He picks Fire up once again and holds her for a delayed vertical suplex and it is really DELAYED. The crowd really picks up on this as they hit 30 in their count and the blood is pouring out of Firewoman’s head leaving a pool on the mat before Tytan finally completes the move and FW crashes to the mat. Tytan rolls over and makes a nonchalant cover… 1… 2… Fire gets a shoulder up. Tytan just shrugs as he picks Fire up onto his shoulder once again and it looks like he’s going to see if she flies like “Lawn Dart” Rey Mysterio Jr. He starts running toward the cage, but FW slips off his shoulder and she’s able to grab hold of Tytan by the tights and ram him hard into the cage. He bounces off the cage, but FW doesn’t let go. She just goes with the momentum and takes Tytan’s head and slams it into the other side of the cage. And then she holds his face there and starts using it like a cheese grater and we see the blood start to come out of Tytan’s head. Slowly at first, but as Fire continues to rake his face the blood starts flowing more freely. And the crowd starts booing louder as Firewoman seems to be taking massive joy in the amounts of blood she is spilling. Fire finally lets go of Tytan and waits for him in the center of the ring. He staggers out towards her but she runs behind him, bounces off the ropes and catches him from behind with a bulldog. She locks his legs and gets into position…FIRESTOMP connects and Tytan’s face smashes into the mat sending blood flying. Fire tries to roll him over, but he’s a lot of dead weight right now and by the time she gets him onto his back and makes the cover, he’s too close to the ropes and he reaches out to grab it. Firewoman is pissed and gets in Creech’s face that he should make the count anyway. Mel just shrugs and goes back his very interesting Sudoku™ puzzle. FW snarls at him before turning back to Tytan and she starts kicking away at him. She whips him towards the rope and connects with a very nice leg lariat. As Tytan falls to the mat, Fire stands up next to him and hits a beautiful STANDING MOONSAULT. She stays on top for the cover… 1… 2… Tytan kicks out. Fire doesn’t let up as she motions to Alexis on the outside and she starts looking under the ring as Tytan gets whipped into the corner. Fire hits a round off back handspring elbow right into Tytan’s jaw, but he shakes it off and grabs FW in a half nelson and slams her with a backbreaker. Both participants fall to the mat as Alexis finally finds what she was looking for under the ring and she pulls out a lead pipe. Biggs sees what is going on and heads over to grab it from her. Inside the ring, both wrestlers are still down and trying to get to their feet. Biggs and Alexis are struggling over the pipe when there is a loud murmur from the crowd and out of nowhere Biggs is slammed headfirst into the cage by Alexander Darling. Alexis takes the opportunity to reach down and pick up the pipe and she slides it to Firewoman. Firewoman looks down and sees what she has and looks up to give a grateful nod towards the Darlings. Alexander is stomping away at Biggs when Alexis grabs his arm and points to the ramp where Poe & Moosehead Jack have started making their way down the aisle. They quickly hightail it over the guardrail out through the crowd with Moose and Poe in pursuit. Medics help Biggs to his feet and help him to the back as the clusterfuck on the outside finally seems to be taken care of. Inside the ring, Creech sees what is in Fire’s hand and tries to persuade her not to use it, but she shakes him off and she swings at Tytan. He catches her by the arm though and we have a fight over the pipe in the center of the ring. Tytan wins the struggle as he pushes FW away and as she turns around he nails her in the stomach with a kick. He picks Fire straight up in the air and military presses her over his head and then he just drops her. He runs to the ropes and jumps high in the high before landing a splash to Fire’s back…CORPORATE FALLOUT. He rolls Firewoman over, this could be it… 1… 2… 2.5 and Fire barely rolls her shoulder. Tytan slams the mat in frustration as he tries to think about what to do next. He seems to come to a decision and he drags Firewoman over to the corner and he places her in the tree of woe…it looks like he’s going to attempt a HOSTILE TAKE-OVER. He gets Fire secure and he heads to the opposite corner and then he charges and goes for a baseball slide, but Fire pulls herself up and disentangles herself from the ropes. Just as Tytan is about to pull himself out from the corner Fire jumps straight in the air and comes down with a double stomp right on Tytan’s chest. That takes the air out of him as Fire falls against the ropes and takes a second to try and recover herself. She is still pouring blood, but it has dried up in a few places leaving a really disturbing image. She slides a hand through her hair and it comes through the other side covered completely red. She gets a sick look on her face and smiles a dark, dark smile. She walks over and grabs Tytan and snap mares him over to the center of the ring and then lays a kick right between his shoulders. Tytan flinches, but it doesn’t seem to hurt him. She kicks him again, and the same effect. Tytan shrugs it off as he slowly starts getting to his feet. Fire keeps kicking away and it just seems to make Tytan stronger as he turns around and grabs FW around the throat with both hands. He picks her up and spins her round and plants her with a TWO-HANDED CHOKEBOMB. Firewoman is in trouble, but as hits the mat, her hand comes into contact with the lead pipe. Tytan drops down to make the cover… One… Two… Thr…NO!!! Fire slams Tytan in the skull with the pipe and he rolls off of her. He’s barely conscious as Firewoman rolls to her side and faces him. She slams him in the head again and again and again and again and again. She has gone insane as she just kills Tytan with the pipe. Creech is imploring her to stop and she looks up at him with wild eyes. She tosses the pipe away and is about to make the cover when she stops and looks up. She gets to her feet and puts Tytan near the corner. It looks like she’s going to finish this one off with the BFE. She hops up on the second turnbuckle and then abruptly stops. She looks over her shoulder at the prone Tytan and a wide smile comes across her face. Firewoman climbs to the top turnbuckle, and then she continues to climb…all the way up to the top. The crowd is speechless as Fire stands on top of the cage and looks down towards the ring and then gives the fans a two-finger salute as she turns around and faces away from the ring. She takes a deep breath and then she jumps backwards… OH MY GOD!!! FIREBOMB!!! OH MY GOD!!! The crowd is stuck in that place between being absolutely in shock and going apeshit crazy as Firewoman slowly crawls back over to Tytan…She makes the cover… 1… 2… And 3!!! Creech calls for the bell as Firewoman’s music begins to play and the cage begins to rise. Mel gets the belt and hands it to Firewoman who crawls to the corner and slowly begins to get to her feet. Paramedics are rushing down to check on her and Tytan, but she shoves them off as she slides out of the ring and slowly makes her way up the ramp. Tytan gets some smelling salts to revive him and then he shrugs off the medical personnel as well. Firewoman makes one last blood-soaked pose at the top of the ramp and there is one last look between Tytan and Fire before she makes her way to the back. Tytan gets a nice cheer in the ring, but that’s a weak consolation prize as he came up just a little short tonight. WINNER in 23:15 and still Intercontinental Champion…FIREWOMAN! Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! January 14th from Springfield, Ohio For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Jan 8, 2009 18:19:03 GMT -5 |
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As the bell rings and the announcement is made declaring the new OOWF World Heavyweight Champion, the Darlings and Davin Moreland are still standing in the ring. Alexis and Samantha help Davin down to the floor and Samantha escorts Davin to the back while Alexander is still standing in the ring staring down at Eric. He motions to his sister and she reaches under the ring and pulls out the PHWF World Title Belt. Eric is crawling up Alexander's legs trying to get to his feet, but Alex just kicks him away. Alexis slides the belt into the ring. Alexander walks up and picks it up...he's stalking Eric as he drags himself to his feet using the ropes.
Eric gets to his feet and turns around and gets plastered by the PHWF Belt. Eric drops like a sack and he is pouring blood. Alexander isn't done though as he lays the belt in the center of the ring and picks Eric up by the hair...DARLING DRIVER on the belt. Eric O'Mac has just been beaten down by Alexander Darling. Darling reaches under Eric and picks up the PHWF belt one more time before spitting on it and throwing it over Eric's unconscious body. He slides out of the ring and joins his sister as the two walk up the ramp to massive booing and shit being thrown at them. Inside the ring paramedics are trying to revive Eric O'Mac. The Darlings get to the top of the ramp and stare back in the ring just in time to see Eric roll over and face them. He shrugs off the help of the paramedics, and stares up the ramp. The camera fades as Alexander and Eric stare one another down.
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DevSop Dec 31, 2008 20:25:55 GMT -5 |
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Tourettes
Breed Scoff
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Matte Dec 31, 2008 1:47:02 GMT -5 |
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DAVIN MORELAND vs. STANK – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Hell in the Cell Match
Pre-match, a message comes over the Jumbotron. We fade in to see Davin Moreland, presumably somewhere backstage, showing the scars of his most recent war. Davin: Stank. Unwashed Masses. Crowd: BOO~! Davin: *batistalaughs* C’mon Stank. Did Stank think Davin Moreland was going to take it easy tonight? Does Stank think that Davin Moreland isn’t willing to kill himself for Davin Moreland’s Championship? Is Stank? Davin Moreland will find out if Stank is willing tonight. Because tonight? Stank. OOWF World Heavyweight Champion Davin Moreland. Tonight. Hell. In. The. Cell. With that, the black apron covering the cage falls off into the crowd, and the cell is lowered from the ceiling. Hightower physically gulps as he stands in the ring, watching the cell drop around him. Finally, it’s in place, and Hightower gives the signal to the timekeeper. “Skin” fires up and it’s Stank, gesturing to the crowd as he makes his way down to the ring. Maybe he’s walking a little slower than normal? He walks through the door and bounces off the ropes a couple of times. Lights out, and “Lux Aeterna” comes over the PA. Here are the boos, and Davin Moreland appears at the top of the ramp with Samantha Darling, and they both watch the pyro from the platform instead of walking through it, like normal. As the pyro stops, we see why. Davin has his arm around Samantha’s shoulder, and she is CLEARLY helping him down the ramp. Davin is carrying his trusty rebar however. She helps him through the door and into the ring. She mouths something like “it’s not too late”, but Davin simply smiles and mouths “I’m fine”. He turns to face the ring and leans against the turnbuckle. He hands his belt to Senior Referee Davis Hightower. He holds it high in the air. This match is for the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Hightower tosses the belt out of the ring (because he has no one to give it to) and calls for the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! Davin doesn’t move from the turnbuckle, as a puzzled Stank looks at him from across the ring. He simply walks over, and Davin starts flailing at him with the Trusty Rebar. Stank starts laughing and just CHARGES the corner. He SPLASHES Davin, and Davin falls like a sack of potatoes out of the corner. Stank laughs again as Davin struggles to get to his feet. Stank VICIOUSLY kicks Davin’s knee, and Davin collapses on the mat. Stank covers, but Davin rolls the shoulder at 2. Stank pulls Davin up, and UNLEASHES a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX which sends Davin over the top rope, and all the way into the cage. Stank rolls to the outside, takes note of Davin lying motionless on the floor, and goes under the ring in search of plunder. He grabs lots of goodies. There’s a computer keyboard, a stop sign, a baseball bat, 3 tables, a couple of chairs, a trash can WITH lid, a bag of thumbtacks, a Zippo, a bottle of lighter fluid, 2 ladders, and a couple of windows. All of these end up in the ring, and Stank has a huge smile on his face. Davin is trying to use the cage to pull himself up, and Samantha looks on with a look of absolute horror on her face. Just then “Ladies and Gentlemen” blasts over the PA, and ALL of Run DEA slowly makes their way down the ramp – Alexander, Alexis, a heavily bandaged Firewoman, Phantos and Lucios all get to the cage. Alexander is berating Mel Creech (who is standing outside after locking the cage), trying to get him to open the cage. Even bribes aren’t working. The rest are all scouring the cage looking for some weakness which would allow them entry. Stank naturally stopped when he heard the music, but realized that they all couldn’t get in; so Stank goes to work on Davin. CHEESE GRATER SPOT on Davin’s face, and he’s bleeding already. He hefts Davin onto his shoulder, and uses him as a HUMAN BATTERING RAM INTO THE CAGE! Davin is out on his feet, and Stank hits a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX INTO THE CAGE! Phantos, Lucios and Firewoman appear to have found a weak panel, and are kicking and pulling at it; trying to get it lose so they can get in. Just then, Outback Jack, FF Capslock, LD Williams and Spin Hansen all make their way down to the ring area brandishing Baseball Bats! They start swinging for the fences, and we’ve got ourselves a DONNYBROOK outside the cage! It’s 6-on-4, but those 4 have Baseball Bats, so it’s a pretty even contest. Punches are thrown, blood flows freely, and eventually all 10 end up fighting away from the cage and brawling all the way to the back. The crowd, with their attention diverted for a few minutes and being hyped up to the max – realize that there’s still a match going on. Fortunately, they didn’t miss much, as Davin is still getting the ever-living shit beat out of him. Both sets of Steel Steps are separated, and the top halves of each are in the ring. However, right now, a bloody and not moving Davin is laid out on the bottom half of one of those steps. Stank is standing nearby on the apron. GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! This is just getting too brutal for words. Stank leans Davin upright, and wraps his right arm around the STEEL RINGPOST! Stank torques back with all his might, clearly trying to separate Davin’s shoulder. After about a minute of no reaction whatsoever – a true cry of pain comes out of nowhere, and it looks like Stank was successful. He lets go, and Davin crumples in a heap. Stank wraps one of Davin’s legs around the STEEL RINGPOST. Stank climbs into the ring, and locks on a FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK AROUND THE STEEL RINGPOST! This goes on for a good two minutes with Davin screaming and writhing in pain. Hightower suggests to Davin that maybe he should quit. Davin screams “NO!” and he is able to sit himself up and BITE Stank through his boot; and he bit HARD! Stank immediately breaks the hold, and Davin crumples down on the Steel Steps again. Stank is PISSED and throws the trash can, lid, a chair and the baseball bat to the outside. Stank grabs the baseball bat, and starts SWINGING WILDLY at Davin’s ribs, so much so that they’re probably all broken. He quickly tires of the baseball bat, so he grabs the trash can. Stank walks over and SMASHES Davin in the head with it, leaving a HUGE dent. Clearly, Stank has no intention of pinning Davin anytime soon. He grabs the Trash Can Lid and SMACKS Davin in the face with it, and Davin rolls onto the floor. Stank’s grinning to himself, and the crowd eggs him on with a constant “Let’s Go Stank!” chant. Stank appears satisfied and rolls Davin into the ring. For fun, Stank drops an elbow into Davin’s chest before covering – a lateral press with added pressure on the bum shoulder. One…Two…Thre…NO! Davin just did roll the good shoulder up as Hightower’s hand was maybe 6” from the mat for the third time. Stank is LIVID and gets right in Hightower’s face. It’s a HEATED discussion, but it finally ends with Hightower pointing to his OOWF Logo on his shirt vigorously. Doesn’t it always seem to end this way? Time has been wasted, but there’s no way it could have mattered much. Davin is still in a bloody, bruised heap and has gotten in exactly ZERO offensive moves in to this point. Davin is facing away from Stank, curled up in the corner. Stank walks over to go to pull him up…and EATS WINDOW! The Glass SHATTERS over Stank’s head, and the jagged remaining pieces hang around his neck and shoulders. Stank is obviously bleeding, and backs away quickly, checking his eyes for glass. Davin takes this opportunity to slowly pull himself up, using the turnbuckles. Finally on his feet for the first time since the bell rang, he notices the chorus of boos from the crowd, and *batistalaughs* to himself. Stank is still covering his eyes and facing away from Davin; so he doesn’t see the Champ literally will himself to the top turnbuckle and face him. Davin points to the sky and looks up briefly before taking off and hitting a MISSILE DROPKICK! The window remnants work themselves free from Stank’s body, but Stank’s head hits the ladder on the way down, and now he’s got a fresh wound. Davin tries to kip up, but it’s an abject failure, as he can barely roll over. Davin struggles to crawl across the ring and finds the thumbtacks. He scatters them on the mat, and Hightower can’t even bear to watch. Davin uses the ropes to pull himself up and stumbles over toward Stank. As he tries to pull the big man up with only his left hand, Stank uncoils with a SPEAR that forces Davin to eat thumbtacks on his back. Davin quickly tries to roll over, but this only results in getting thumbtacks on his chest and stomach. Stank goes to cover, and Hightower counts…1…2…thr…Davin KICKS OUT in the nick of time, and Stank is rather surprised Davin COULD kick out. Stank pulls Davin up, and hits a STANK-U ON THE THUMBTACKS! The blood-curdling cry of pain echoes throughout the arena. Stank heads over to the tables, and sets them up. Obviously Stank hasn’t been paying attention to “Firewoman’s Rules of Wrestling.” Oh well, they’re only accurate MOST of the time. He stacks one table on top of the other, and goes to pull Davin up. He’s got him hooked in. He’s trying for a CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLES, but Davin is somehow able to Bail Out the Back Door! By the time Stank realizes what happened and turns around, he EATS CHAIR! Stank goes down immediately as Davin looks at the chair and *batistalaughs*. Davin spots the Ladder (not LADDER, just the regular kind) across the ring, and hobbles over to it. He sets it up with one arm in the middle of the ring. He spots the other one, and sets it up right next to it. Davin notices Stank stirring, so he grabs the STOP SIGN, and PLASTERS Stank over the head with it. Stank collapses back to the mat. He takes the chair, and wraps it around Stank’s repaired knee. He climbs very slowly up one of the ladders all the way to the top, and LEAPS, and HITS A SUICIDE LEGDROP ON THE CHAIR! That hurt Davin clearly, but he’s also covered in blood and thumbtacks, so considering, it didn’t hurt too bad. However, Stank snapped out of his forced slumber with that, and immediately screams out in pain, trying to kick the chair off of himself. Davin gives it a couple of ELBOW DROPS for fun before he can get it off. Stank is clutching his knee, and Davin drops to a knee – clearly standing is a luxury at this point for him. Davin notices his Trusty Rebar nearby, and grabs it with his left hand. He crouches, and with his last few ounces of energy, he SPRINGS across the ring and lands a FLYING REBAR SHOT TO STANK’S TEMPLE! Stank immediately loses consciousness. Good thing it was with his left hand, because a full force shot would have probably killed him. Davin is completely spent and leans sitting against the ropes. The crowd, which was in full-throat “YAY BOO” mode not too long ago; now is almost completely silent. Everyone’s standing, but everyone’s realizing these two are really trying to kill each other. Davin regroups finally, and helps himself up to stand. He goes over to one of the ladders, and takes it down, letting it fall to the mat. With his left hand, he puts Stank’s bad leg inside the Ladder. Oh dear God not this. Davin slowly climbs the ladder to the top. He takes off for a 360 SOMERSAULT STOMP ON THE LADDER! That was just SICK. Stank is awake again, and yelling. Davin spots the lighter fluid and Zippo (thank God Firewoman didn’t find this earlier), and douses the Stacked Tables. He then simply tosses the Zippo lit in the direction of the tables, and they immediately engulf. Davin stumbles and drops to a knee again, then both knees, as he’s unable to even crawl right now. Stank manages to get the ladder off of himself, and starts to pull himself up by the ropes. Davin still hasn’t moved, and Stank tests out the knee. It wasn’t a very successful test, as Stank can put NO weight on it. Both these men are bleeding; and Davin is probably a quart low at this point. Both these men have to have severe concussions at this point. Davin is covered in thumbtacks and has multiple shattered ribs, and he wasn’t exactly 100% coming into this match. Stank wasn’t 100% either, and now he’s got his old knee injury to deal with. The crowd is still deathly silent as Stank limps over to Davin, and Davin gets to his knees, and then to one knee, and is finally standing (albeit a bit wobbly) by the time Stank gets to him. They look at each other, growl, and START THROWING HAYMAKERS! The crowd goes BATSHIT! These two can barely stand, and here they are, slugging it out. Stank manages to block the left hand from Davin, and cracks him a couple of times in the jaw. He tries to get Davin up on his shoulders, but his knee refuses the request. Stank sighs and hits a QUICK DDT on what was left of the thumbtacks, and there wasn’t much. Stank again doesn’t cover, and instead drags Davin toward the ladder. He hefts Davin over his shoulder supported by the good knee, and VERY slowly climbs the ladder. He lays Davin on the platform on top, and quickly heads back down. Oh no, he wouldn’t, would he? He gets behind the ladder…and PUSHES IT TOWARD THE FLAMING TABLES…but… Russ: SOMEHOW…SOMEWAY! Davin at the last second grabbed the top of the cage with his left hand, and is just hanging there. Stank looks up incredulously, and smartly decides to wait for a bit before Davin inevitably falls down. A minute goes by, and Davin is still up there. Two minutes go by, and the Crowd is literally trying to blow Davin down; making the simultaneous CHEER for Stank and BOO for Davin noise. Very cool. Finally, Stank’s patience runs out, and he sets up the ladder again. He slowly climbs up, and about halfway up he tries to grab Davin’s Dangling Legs, but Davin manages to swing them away and he’s generally being a pain in the ass about this. The higher Stank climbs, the more he moves until finally Davin’s forced to bring the right arm into play, and pull himself flat against the cage roof. Stank finally reaches the top, and can reach Davin from here. He reaches out, but Davin kicks his hands. That’s an owie, and Stank pulls his hands back. Davin swings back and forth on the cage now, and by the time Stank looks back up to Davin, he’s swinging toward him with maximum momentum. There’s a great camera angle here, and you can clearly see Davin mouth “Gotcha” to Stank. In a blink of an eye, Davin’s got his arms around Stank’s head…and hits a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLES! The crowd, seeing the legit stretcher jobs between these two the last few weeks; again falls silent. They’re both surely dead this time. Hightower looks seriously worried, and starts his customary fast 10 count with these two. When he reaches 6, a voice rings out from the pile of rubble saying “SLOW DOWN!” Hightower is completely taken by surprise, and stops counting completely. After a few more agonizing seconds of motionlessness, someone starts stirring in the pile. A hand reaches up, and grabs the ropes. A guttural cry of effort rings out as this hand is trying to pull a person up. The crowd CHEERS in anticipation, until they see it’s Davin Moreland who is pulling himself up. They start to instinctively BOO, but they soon decide a “buzz and murmur” is more appropriate than booing. Davin flashes a grin to Hightower as he pulls himself to his feet. His body, once covered in blood and thumbtacks, is now covered in blood, soot, burns and thumbtacks. Davin stumbles a couple of steps forward, and…exclusively on instinct, pulls Stank from the smoldering rubble. Once Stank is flat on the mat, Davin collapses on top of him. Hightower counts 3, and this one is OVER! WINNER in 45:22 by PINFALL…DAVIN MORELAND! Davin Moreland is STILL the OOWF World Heavyweight Champion. Hightower doesn’t even need to make the Dreaded X sign, because the cage is already being lifted up, and Paramedics (Real Ones) are already standing by. They quickly get Stank in a neck brace and backboard and stretcher him out of there. As Davin tries to beg off the Paramedics, the crowd is in full throat, and is chanting Alexander Darling’s favorite…”THAT WAS AWESOME!” “THAT WAS AWESOME!” Davin finally starts to relent to the Paramedics and lets them treat him. Hightower finds the OOWF World Heavyweight Championship and hands it to Davin, who smiles, and it makes a great picture. Russ: Dear GOD! As God as my witness I have never seen something SO brutal! SO devastating! These are HUMAN BEINGS! A body is not meant to withstand THIS kind of punishment! Razz: I gotta agree with the crowd though, that WAS awesome! Nash: That was amazing. Helluva fight there tonight, I can’t see how either of them can go on Wednesday, I don’t care what kind of pain killers you give them Russ: Folks we are just about out of time, for Razz and Nash, I am Russ, Good……wait, what is going on? Suddenly, just as the broadcast is just about to wrap up, the lights in the arena start to flicker. Vocal music starts pouring out of the PA System. The crowd starts to buzz in the “WTF” way. With the lights still out we hear "C'MON MAN!" Finally the song kicks in and we hear “DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK” and “Mama Said Knock You Out” starts to blast, and Pyro starts to go off all over the place. The crowd is screaming in anticipation, and then they go absolutely BATSHIT as Eric O’Mac walks purposefully down the ramp, holding a paper in his hands. The crowd is truly losing their shit, seeing the returning Superstar; but Eric is super-focused for some reason. He climbs in the ring and looks around, before ordering the Paramedics out of the ring. Clearly, they decline, and that’s when Eric hands his piece of paper to Hightower. Hightower sighs knowingly, and skims it. He nods and hands it to the timekeeper and cues the Ring Announcer to make an announcement, obviously. RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, Eric O’Mac is officially cashing in his OOWF World Heavyweight Title Shot…Right. Now! The crowd absolutely loses it as Eric bounces back and forth on the balls of his feet across the ring. Hightower sympathetically explains the situation to Davin. Davin blankly looks across the ring at Eric O’Mac. He visibly sighs, and asks for assistance getting to his feet so the match can start. Hightower helps Davin pull himself up the ropes, and Davin leans against the turnbuckle for support. Hightower refuses to start the match until Davin can prove he can stand on his own, or Davin’s going to get DQ’d. Eric is CLEARLY pissed off by this turn of events, but surprisingly, it’s Davin who says “Nah, Davin Moreland isn’t going out like that. If Eric O’Mac wants a match, Eric O’Mac is going to get a match”. Eric smiles at this, but we still have to wait until Davin can take two steps away from the turnbuckle and steady himself so he’s not wobbling. Finally he does, and Hightower has no choice but to ring the bell…WE’RE UNDERWAY! DAVIN MORELAND vs. ERIC O’MAC – OOWF World Heavyweight Title Match Davin doesn’t even move at the bell, but Eric hits a ROLLING CLOTHESLINE SPLASH onto Davin in the corner. Normally that move hurts, but this is devastating to Davin, and he is out on his feet. BULLDOG from Eric. Davin is done. The crowd is ON THEIR FEET going BATSHIT! Eric struggles to pull Davin to his feet, but somehow he does, and gets his arm around Davin’s throat. He pauses and poses for the crowd, who is still just LOSING it. SMACKDOWN! Eric COVERS! 1….2….3!!! NEW CHAMP! WINNER in 1:17 by PINFALL and NEW OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…ERIC O’MAC! Hightower raises Eric’s arm and hands him the belt. Eric kisses it, and confetti starts to fall from the ceiling. He does some turnbuckle poses for the crowd with the belt, and meantime, the Paramedics are able to work on Davin and get him out of there. Russ: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE! ERIC O’MAC IS THE OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! Razz: I am…..speechless! Nash: No way that can stand, can it? Russ: Folks we are out of time! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! Be sure to join us Wednesday for MidWeek Mayhem, Live From Springfield, Pennsylvania! Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF Dance of Death V! Live, January 25th from Hell, Michigan! And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! December 31st from Springfield, Pennsylvania For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Dec 28, 2008 20:02:30 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 12/24/08[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Davin Moreland (E, 6-6) 1. Firewoman – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+3, 7-4) 2. Alexander Darling – OOWF Onslaught Champion (-1, 6-7) 3. Poe (+5, 9-4) 4. Stank (+5, 8-3) 5. Tytan (+4, 9-5) 6. Nayr (+3, 4-1) 7. Outback Jack (+2, 7-5) 8. Chris Cole (+2, 6-4) 9. Bryce Larson (+2, 5-3) 10. Moosehead Jack (+1, 7-6) 11. Concrete TG (+1, 7-6) 12. SYB (+1, 7-6)** 13. LD Williams (+1, 6-5) 14. Lucios (E, 6-6)* 15. Phantos (E, 6-6)* 16. The Amnesiac (-1, 6-7)** 17. Tyson Kincaid (-1, 6-7) 18. Skurge (-1, 6-7) 19. Spin Hansen (-1, 5-6) 20. Attitude Adjuster (-3, 5- 21. Johnny Adrenaline (-3, 4-7) 22. Seamus McNasty (-5, 4-9) 23. Damon Wrath (-8, 2-10) *OOWF World Tag Team Champions **OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions World Tag Team Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios (+2, 6-4) 1. Fear Us (+2, 4-2) 2. Bryce Larson & Nayr (+2, 3-1) 3. IHOP (E, 3-3) 4. The Chickenshit Heels (-1, 4-5)
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Jack Quinn Dec 26, 2008 17:27:08 GMT -5 |
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[OOC: Damn, Firewoman must have Abs of Steel to take all those shots to the gut!
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Fire-Babe Dec 26, 2008 10:39:48 GMT -5 |
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DJ was the weak link, loved him but he was hot or cold...I would LOVE to put up another 4 or 5 banners - that ought to shut the fucking lakers up....as for better than the big three - what are the current rosters minutes - KC rode the big three so hard he took years off thier careers...wow how awesome for allen. pierce and KG...to have your name engraved along so many other GREAT celtics players...bleeding green
Seamus
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Deleted Dec 21, 2008 16:21:45 GMT -5 |
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Dec 18, 2008 0:19:42 GMT -5 @blownspot said: I've somehow managed to receive the slice with mold between the creme and the rest of the pie. Ok...ew. And that IS totally stupid.
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Tommy Dec 18, 2008 2:36:24 GMT -5 |
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Yeah, holy shit, that match was epic.
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Ryan Dec 11, 2008 17:01:28 GMT -5 |
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OOWF Rankings for 12/10/08[/u]
OOWF World Heavyweight Champion – Davin Moreland (E, 6-6) 1. Firewoman – OOWF Intercontinental Champion (+2, 6-4) 2. Chris Cole – OOWF Onslaught Champion (+3, 6-3) 3. Poe (+5, 8-3) 4. Stank (+5, 8-3) 5. Nayr (+4, 4-0) 6. Tytan (+3, 8-5) 7. Outback Jack (+2, 6-4) 8. Bryce Larson (+2, 4-2) 9. Moosehead Jack (+1, 6-5) 10. Tyson Kincaid (+1, 6-5) 11. Concrete TG (+1, 6-5) 12. LD Williams (+1, 5-4) 13. Lucios (E, 5-5)* 14. Phantos (E, 5-5) 15. The Amnesiac (-1, 5-6)** 16. Skurge (-1, 5-6)** 17. SYB (-1, 5-6)** 18. Spin Hansen (-1, 4-5) 19. DH Magnusson (-1, 3-4) 20. Attitude Adjuster (-3, 4-7) 21. Alexander Darling (-3, 4-7) 22. Johnny Adrenaline (-3, 4-7) 23. Seamus McNasty (-4, 4- 24. Damon Wrath (-8, 1-9) *OOWF World Tag Team Champions **OOWF Campeonas de Trios Champions World Tag Team Rankings[/u] OOWF World Tag Team Champions – Phantos & Lucios (+2, 5-3) 1. Fear Us (+3, 4-1) 2. Gods & Monsters (+2, 4-2) 3. Bryce Larson & Nayr (+2, 2-0) 4. IHOP (+1, 3-2) 5. The Chickenshit Heels (-2, 3-5)
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Jack Quinn Dec 10, 2008 21:41:15 GMT -5 |
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Yeah, and a few weeks back when Eric did that promo regarding Fiona Michelle Denton? Almost all Triple H circa 1999, with a few minor changes.
Oh, AND half of my shit is stolen from Family Guy anyways.
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Eric O'Mac Dec 5, 2008 11:17:17 GMT -5 |
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TEAM CHAMPIONS: DAVIN MORELAND, SPIN HANSEN, CHRIS COLE, PHANTOS, LUCIOS, SYB, SKURGE & THE AMNESIAC vs. TEAM 2: TYTAN, SEAMUS MCNASTY, FIREWOMAN, MOOSEHEAD JACK, ATTITUDE ADJUSTER, OUTBACK JACK, STANK & DH MAGNUSSON – Elimination Match
We are ready for the finals of the Lazy Booking Invitational II. First out is Team 2: Tytan, Seamus McNasty, Firewoman – who is limping badly, Moosehead Jack, Attitude Adjuster, Outback Jack, Stank and DH Magnusson. They come out as a team like good teams should. Once they are all assembled in the ring, we start the announcements for Team Champions. Spin Hansen, Chris Cole, SYB, Skurge and The Amnesiac come out first and wait at ringside. “God Blessed Texas” plays and the World Tag Team Champions Phantos and Lucios make their way to the top of the ramp. “Lux Aeterna” plays and the OOWF world heavyweight champion Davin Moreland steps out from the back and pause at the top of the ramp. Moreland gets a warm hometown welcome from the crowd, and the members of DEA make their way down the ramp to the ring. DEA steps between the ropes and Phantos, Lucios and Davin step toward Fire and offer their hands, but Fire just shakes her head and steps out of the ring to the apron. No fraternizing before the match it appears. The referee goes over the rules quickly, this is an elimination style match, the team that can eliminate the other team first is the winner. If Team 2 wins the match they get random title shots at some point. If Team Champions wins, they get to pick the stipulations for their matches for the next month, or the duration of their title reigns, whichever comes first. Everyone seems satisfied with this, the referee calls or the bell, and this one is underway. Skurge steps between the ropes for Team Champions and Outback Jack looks to start things for Team 2. The two circle and lock up, but Skurge pulls away and blisters Jack with chops to the chest. Jack stops him cold with a boot to the gut, then slams Skurge face first into the top turnbuckle. Skurge staggers back and Jack scoops him up and slams him to the mat, then reaches out and tags in Seamus. Jack holds Skurge’s legs and Seamus drops a head butt right onto Skurge’s groin. Seamus covers, but SYB runs into the ring and breaks the pin up at two. Seamus pulls Skurge to his feet and sends him to the ropes and tries a black hole slam, but Skurge shifts his weight and plants him with a DDT. Skurge tags in Phantos. Phantos waits for Seamus to get to his feet, then springs to the top rope and nails a cross body block, but Seamus rolls through it and gets a two count. Both men spring to their feet and Seamus ducks a clothesline and whips Phantos to the ropes, then tags in Tytan. As Phantos rebounds, Tytan catches him with a boot to the jaw that lays out the tag team champion. Tytan pulls Phantos to his feet and throws him over his shoulder, runs him into the corner turnbuckle, then power slams him in the middle of the ring and gets a two count. Tytan pulls Phantos back to his feet and throws him into Team 2’s corner, he immediately turns and starts fighting people off, nailing everyone he sees with elbows and punches. He turns and NAILS Firewoman with an elbow to the side of the head that sends her to the floor. Phantos immediately stops when he realizes what he did and stops and tries to apologize to Fire. Tytan grabs him from behind and KILLS him with the Steiner Screwdriver, covers and gets the three count Phantos is eliminated Lucios immediately runs into the ring and drops an elbow across the back of Tytan’s head, then pulls the big man to his feet and shoves him into the corner and charges in and catches him with a high knee to the side of the face. Lucios reaches out and tags in his DEA mate Davin Moreland, and they double suplex Tytan. Davin waits for Tytan to get to his feet, then grabs him for a REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Tytan shoves Davin to the ropes and tries a hip toss on the rebound, but Davin blocks it, turns and hits A REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! Moreland covers, and gets the three count Tytan is eliminated Stank slowly steps between the ropes and Davin eyes him warily, then reaches back and tags an unsuspecting SYB into the match. SYB yells at Moreland, but Moreland just stares at him. Finally SYB steps into the ring and charges at Stank, but Stank stands his ground and SYB bounces off of him and hits the mat. Stank pulls him to his feet and scoops him up and drops him head first on the top turnbuckle, SNAKE EYES! Stank reaches out and tags Moose into the match, Moose steps between the ropes and waits for SYB to get to his feet and peppers him with rights and lefts to the face, then drops him with a spinning chop to the neck. Moose reaches out and tags Seamus back into the mat, Moose wrings the arm and Seamus climbs to the top rope and drops an elbow across SYB’s arm. Seamus sends SYB to the ropes, but Chris Cole makes a blind tag in, and Seamus KILLS SYB with a spine buster, but the referee doesn’t count. When Seamus gets to his feet to ask why, Cole blindsides him with a shot to the head, and before he can recover, hits THE HEADLINER! Cole covers and gets the three count Seamus McNasty is eliminated DH Magnusson makes his first appearance in the match and he and Cole trade shots. Magnusson blocks a punch from Cole and knees him in the midsection, then takes him to the mat with a gut wrench suplex. Magnusson grabs Cole’s arm and locks him in a Fujiwara arm bar. Cole is in trouble, but SYB rushes into the ring and breaks it up before Cole can tap. Magnusson gets to his feet and grabs SYB and throws him over the top rope to the floor. The momentary distraction lets Cole hit Magnusson with a low blow, and roll him up, but Magnusson kicks out at two. Both men are quickly to their feet and Cole catches Magnusson with a hot shot on the top rope. Davin Moreland immediately calls for the tag and Cole tags him into the match. Moreland measures Magnusson and drops a fist between his eyes, and covers, but once again Magnusson kicks out. Davin pulls Magnusson to his feet and tries a whip, but Magnusson reverses it and catches the champ with a power slam. Magnusson reaches back and tags in Stank, Stank charges into the ring, and pulls Davin to his feet and peppers him with shots to the chest and face backing him across the ring. Stank pins Moreland against the ropes and whips him to the opposite side of the ring, then catches him with a big back body drop. Davin crawls across the ring and tags in The Amnesiac, quickly bailing out of the match. The Amnesiac comes in and takes advantage of Stank’s anger as he is yelling for Moreland to come back into the ring. The Amnesiac charges off the ropes and catches Stank with a Shining Wizard to the back of the head that sends the big man to the mat. The Amnesiac reaches back and tags in SYB, then grabs Stank’s legs and catapults him up just as SYB is coming off the ropes, SYB tries for a HEBREW HAMMER, but Stank nearly decapitates him with a clothesline instead. Stank pulls SYB to his feet and hauls him onto his shoulders and hits the STANK-U! Stank covers and gets the three count SYB is eliminated Spin Hansen steps between the ropes and Stank immediately calms down some and a smile spreads across his face. He and Stank lock up in the middle of the ring and Stank grabs a side head lock. Spin shoves Stank to the ropes and Davin catches him with a forearm to the back of the head. Stank turns around and NAILS Moreland, sending him to the floor. Stank turns his attention back to Spin and Spin catches him with a brutal spine buster and covers, but Stank is out at two. Spin pulls Stank to his feet and shoves him into a neutral corner and sets him on the top rope, then climbs up and grabs Stank for a top rope belly to belly suplex, but Spin hangs on and shoves Spin off the top rope, then gets to his feet and catches Spin with a flying clothesline sending Spin right back to the mat. Stank rolls to his corner and tags in Outback Jack. Jack comes in and drops a series of elbows across Spin’s chest and covers, but Spin powers out at two. Both men get to their feet, but Spin rakes Jack’s eyes and tags The Amnesiac into the match. The Amnesiac springs onto the top rope and leaps at Jack, but Jack catches him with a power slam and covers, but Moreland breaks it up at two. Outback Jack shoves Moreland, and the two of them argue, which lets The Amnesiac make the tag to Lucios. Lucios comes in and blindsides Outback Jack with a super kick that sends him staggering back into Team 2’s corner. Jack falls and his arm hits Firewoman. The referee counts that as a tag and orders Firewoman into the match. Fire slowly steps between the ropes and limps to the middle of the ring where Lucios waits for her. Lucios looks a little reluctant about locking up with a DEA mate, but they do and Lucios knees Fire and sends her to the ropes. Fire makes it a few steps then her leg buckles and she falls to the mat. Lucios shows immediate concern and goes over to help Fire up, and she immediately grabs him and rolls him into a small package, one, two, three! Lucios is eliminated Looks like Firewoman took a page right out of the Chris Jericho playbook there. Lucios rolls out of the ring and gets to his feet on the outside. Fire looks at him with something like sympathy. Behind Fire, Cole comes into the ring and takes a page out of Ric Flair’s play book and chop blocks Fire, rolling her injured leg under her. Cole grabs Fire, who is grimacing in pain, and quickly turns her over into a Texas cloverleaf. Fire tries to fight the pain, but she can’t and after a few seconds she is forced to tap. Firewoman is eliminated Attitude Adjuster comes in and he and Cole lock up. Cole pushes AA to the corner and tries a punch, but AA moves out of the way and spins Cole into the corner. AA buries a shoulder into Cole’s midsection repeatedly. Then tries a whip across the ring, but Cole reverses it, and AA does the classic Flair Flip into the corner, lands on the apron, runs down the apron and runs right into a big boot from Moreland that sends AA to the floor. Surge hops off the apron and pulls AA to his feet and sends him back into the ring. Cole covers, but Moose rushes in and pulls him off of him. AA gets to his feet and Cole sends him to the ropes, then runs the ropes himself. The two men criss cross, and someone miscalculates, because the two of them SLAM heads in the middle of the ring. Both men are down and the referee starts the ten count of doom. At eight, Cole lurches across the ring and tags in Skurge, just before Skurge can get across the ring, AA tags in Moose. Moose ducks a Skurge clothesline, and catches Skurge with a dragon suplex, bridges and gets a two count. Both men are back up and Moose scoops Skurge up for a slam, but Skurge slips over his shoulder and kills Moose with a lung blower. Skurge climbs to the top rope and tries a SSP, but Moose moves out of the way! Skurge crashes and burns, and Moose immediately pulls him to his feet and STUNS him with a heart punch, then tags Magnusson in. Magnusson grabs a stunned Skurge and hits the side Russian leg sweep into the DREAM STREET! Hey it worked once, why not try it again? Skurge has no escape and he is forced to tap. Skurge is eliminated The Amnesiac comes in as Magnusson gets to his feet and whips him to the ropes and connects with a perfect drop kick that sends DH to the corner. The Amnesiac charges into the corner and monkey flips Magnusson to the middle of the ring, then climbs to the top rope and waits for DH to get to his feet. As Magnusson gets to his feet The Amnesiac leaps, but Magnusson catches him! Magnusson walks The Amnesiac back to the corner and sets him on the top rope, and is about to climb up for a superplex, but The Amnesiac catches Magnusson with a series of knees to the face, then grabs a front face lock and nails him with a tornado DDT! The Amnesiac covers, but Outback Jack comes in and breaks it up. Jack pulls The Amnesiac to his feet and the two of them trade lefts and rights. The referee tries to break them up, but Jack grabs the referee and shoves him aside. The ref comes back and tries to break them up again, this time Jack decks him. The referee immediately calls for the bell. Outback Jack is eliminated and will also be a little lighter in the pocketbook next week. Magnusson is finally on his feet and The Amnesiac grabs him from behind and hits the ropes, Magnusson’s head collides with Spin’s head, The Amnesiac rolls Magnusson up and gets the three count, DH Magnusson is eliminated Moosehead Jack comes into the match, and as The Amnesiac gets to his feet, Moose grabs him from behind in a standing ji-endo (so at this point, it is a cobra clutch) but The Amnesiac frees himself with a mule kick to Moose’s jewels. The Amnesiac hits the opposite ropes, but while Moose is doubled over in pain, Attitude Adjuster hands him something from outside the ring. Moose turns around and LEVELS a charging Amnesiac, and tosses what we now see are brass knuckles, back to AA. Moose covers, and gets the three count. The Amnesiac is eliminated Spin comes into the ring and he and Moose lock up. Spin slams Moose and tries a leg drop, but Moose moves out of the way and Spin gets nothing but canvas. Moose pounces on Spin and hammers him savagely with rights and lefts to the face. Spin shoves Moose off of him, but the damage has been done, Spin has been busted open. Moose pulls Spin up and shoves him into Team 2’s corner and tags in Attitude Adjuster. AA bites Spin in the corner, then snapmares him out. With Spin sitting on the mat, AA calls for the claw! He slaps it on Spin’s head, but before he can get it on real well, Spin catches AA with the testicular claw! AA screams in pain and dances around the ring as Spin gets to his feet and backs AA into the corner. Spin cocks his fist but AA breaks the hold with a scientific thumb to the eye. Spin staggers back to the middle of the ring, and this time it is AA’s turn to use the chop block to take Spin to the mat. With Spin on the mat, AA slaps on the IRON CLAW! Spin writhes in pain, but will not give up, even though the blood is flowing even heavier from the wound on his head. Cole feigns coming into the ring, which draws Stank into the ring. Cole then jumps off the apron and races around the ring and grabs Moose and pulls him off the apron and they have a brief exchange of philosophical differences. The referee turns to get Stank out of the ring and Davin strikes again, hitting the ropes and hitting a flying REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER! (like Orton tried on Jericho years ago, only Moreland doesn’t whiff) AA is DEAD! Moreland grabs Spin and throws him across Spin, the referee never saw it, but sees Spin covering AA, he makes the three count and that is it, give me the bold; Attitude Adjuster has been eliminated Moose immediately comes into the ring where Spin Hansen is on his one knee, blood pouring down his face, a dazed look on his face. Moose traps Spin in the ji-endo and falls to the mat. Spin struggles, but Moose sits back, pulling back on Spin’s upper body really applying the pressure. Spin tries to fight it, and Moreland and Cole try to come into the ring to break it up, but the referee catches them and sends them back out. Spin finally can take no more and he goes limp. The referee sees this and calls for the bell. Spin Hansen is eliminated We are basically down to a tag team match now, Davin Moreland and Chris Cole versus Moosehead Jack and Stank. Moose gets to his feet and is met by a charging Chris Cole. Cole clotheslines Moose over the top rope, and falls over the ropes with him. Both men hit the floor hard, but Cole gets up first, with a maniacal look in his eyes. Cole pulls Moose to his feet and hits a side Russian leg sweep on the outside, but instead of hitting the floor, Cole slams the back of Moose’s head into the announce table. Moose slumps to the floor and Cole gets a couple of good kicks in for good measure, then rolls back into the ring and waits for the referee to finish the count. The referee gets to nine, and Moose slides under the bottom rope just before ten. Cole charges across the ring and drops a knee on the back of Moose’s head, then pulls him to his feet and hits a slingshot suplex, covers, and gets a two count. Cole tags in Moreland, and he steps between the ropes and waits for Cole to pull Moose to his feet, then hits the ropes and connects with a big boot to the face. Moose tumbles between the ropes again, and once again hits the ropes hard. Davin waits patiently for the count out, but when Moose gets on the apron at seven, he snarls and runs to the ropes and tries to suplex Moose into the ring, but Moose blocks it and reverses it, suplexing Moreland out of the ring to the floor! The champion hits the floor HARD and writhes in pain. Moose runs the apron and leaps, dropping an elbow right across Moreland’s chest. Moose lands a couple of stiff shots to the face, then rolls Moreland back into the ring and follows him, but grabs hold of Moreland’s leg and tags Stank into the match. Moreland sees the tag and desperately tries to escape. Stank comes in and plants a boot right on Moreland’s face, then mounts the champion and hammers him with rights and lefts, until the referee threatens disqualification. Stank pulls Moreland to his feet and sends him to the ropes and catches the champion in a sleeper, wrapping his arms around Moreland’s head and threatening to pop his head like a pimple. Moreland struggles and looks like he is starting to fade when he manages to slip beside Stank and take him to the mat with a side suplex. Both men are down, but Moreland manages to get to his feet first. He grabs Stank by the head and pulls him to his feet and throws him out of the ring, then follows him. Moreland pulls Stank to his feet and whips him into the corner post. Stank’s head slams off the steel and he falls to the floor, lying on the floor looking at the lights with a dazed look in his eyes. Moreland is not done though. Moreland pulls Stank onto the announce table, and sets him up for a Really Good Diamond Cutter on the table! Moose hops off the apron, and Cole tries to come through the ring to stop him, which draws the referee’s attention. Moose grabs a chair and SLAMS it on the side of Moreland’s leg! Moreland screams in pain and releases Stank, Stank straightens up and grabs Davin and hits the STANK-U on through the table! The crowd pops a HOLY SHIT! Chant as both men lie in the wreckage, possibly dead. Amazingly both men begin to stir at seven, and somehow make it back to the ring at nine. Stank and Davin both crawl toward their corners and make tags, Moose and Cole charge into the ring and tear into one another. Moose ducks a swing by Cole and catches him with a half nelson suplex. Moose then pulls up and sets him up for a pile driver, but Cole backdrops Moose over the top rope to the floor. Cole leaves the ring and grabs a piece of the shattered table and SLAMS it into Moose’s ribs. Cole starts to pull Moose to his feet, but Moose grabs the same piece of table and low blows Cole with it. Once again both men are down outside the ring. Cole gets to his feet and pulls Moose out of the ring after Moose broke the count. Cole grabs a piece of the table and puts it on Moose’s throat, then slams the table piece onto the floor, driving it into Moose’s throat! Moose falls to the floor, coughing up some blood, but Cole isn’t done, he pulls Moose to his feet and in the wreckage of the table, he hits a HEADLINER! Cole crawls out of the wreckage and makes it into the ring just as the referee hits ten. Moosehead Jack has been eliminated Stank slowly steps between the ropes as Davin grins on the apron, knowing it is now two on one. Cole is slow to get to his feet, so Stank charges across the ring and nearly cuts Cole in half with a spear as he stands up. Stank lifts Cole onto his shoulders and hits the SHOCK TREATMENT, the whole time, never once taking his eyes off of Moreland. Once again Stank pulls Cole off the mat and sets him up and hits the STANKBOMB! Cole is dead. Stank covers after the last one, and gets the three count. There are two remaining. Chris Cole is eliminated Davin doesn’t give Stank a moment to rest. The second the referee’s hand hits the mat for the third time, Moreland charges into the ring and catches Stank with a boot to the face. Davin steps out of the ring and waits on the apron, as Stank gets to his feet, Davin launches himself and NAILS Stank with a clothesline. Moreland covers, but Stank kicks out at two. Moreland keeps the pressure up, grabbing Stank’s legs and rolling him over in a Boston crab, leaning back as far as he can, putting all the pressure on Stank’s lower back. Stank grunts in pain and the referee asks him if he wants to quit. Stank, naturally, refuses and stats toward the ropes, but there is no way he will make it that far across the ring, so he uses his impressive leg strength to power out of the hold, sending Moreland through the ropes to the floor in the process. Davin hits the floor hard, and seems to land hard on the back of his head. The champ appears to be a little dazed. Stank slips out of the ring, and he has to be exhausted as well. He had a hard fought six man match earlier, and this match is over an hour as well. Stank pulls Moreland up but Moreland hits a jaw breaker that sends Stank reeling. Davin scoops Stank up and slams his lower back into the ring post, then DRIVES him to the mat with a choke slam! The big man is in trouble. Davin rolls back into the ring and lies on his back in the middle of the ring sucking wind, but waiting for the count out. The fans count along with the referee, he gets to eight, and Stank somehow finds his way under the bottom rope and back into the ring. The crowd boos this a little, and Davin is quickly to his feet and puts the boots to Stank. Stank tries to fight off the blows, but Davin has him trapped in the corner and is kicking away at will. The referee steps in to see if he needs to stop the match, but decides against it. Moreland moves in for the kill. He pulls Stank up and paintbrushes him a few times, then sets him on the top rope and climbs up. Moreland hooks Stank by the head, it looks like he is going for a SUPER REALLY GOOD DIAMOND CUTTER, but Stank holds on! He grabs Moreland and turns Moreland toward him and hammers him with punches, then a head butt! Stank stands up and Davin puts his head between his legs and tries to backdrop him off the top turnbuckle, but Stank holds on and POWERBOMBS DAVIN FROM THE TOP ROPE! Stank releases Moreland and he falls to the mat, Moreland SLAMS onto the mat, the back of his head bouncing off the mat like a basketball. Davin’s eyes roll into the back of his head. Stank drags himself across the ring and collapses next to Moreland’s body and just manages to drape his arm across Moreland’s chest. ONE…… TWO…… THREE…. WINNERS in 1:06:57 – Team 2: Stank is the Sole Survivor Stank rolls off of Moreland too exhausted to celebrate. The rest of Team 2 finds their way back to the ring and the tattered bunch help Stank to his feet, and for a moment, they show true solidarity before the rest of DEA comes to ringside and helps Davin out of the ring. Firewoman slips away and joins DEA, while the rest of Team 2 sort of melt into the background and leave Drink & Destroy to celebrate an incredibly hard fought victory. Thanks for coming out and watching LIVE OOWF action be sure to check out the OOWF New Years Evil IV from Springfield, New Jersey And don’t forget to catch next week’s OOWF Mid-Week Mayhem Live! December 3rd from Springfield, Maine For all your OOWF shopping needs, check out www.cafepress.com/oowfshirts For all your OOWF History needs, visit the OOWF Archives at www.oowfwrestling.com Join us for OOWF Chat on Wednesday nights!
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Jack Quinn Nov 30, 2008 20:31:14 GMT -5 |
