[Leo]

Smitty
It’s Saturday Night Live starring…
John Belushi
Jimmy Fallon (WU)
Victoria Jackson
Don Novello
Chris Parnell
Jay Pharaoh
Pamela Stephenson
Ben Stiller
Terry Sweeney
Kenan Thompson
With musical guest U2 and your host John Goodman

Leo
It’s Saturday Night Live starring…
A. Whitney Brown (WU)
Abby Elliott
Billy Crystal
Janeane Garofalo (WU)
Bill Hader
Kate McKinnon
David Koechner
Bill Murray
Maya Rudolph
Damon Wayans
With musical guest Paul Simon and your host Tom Hanks

[Leo]

Cold Opening
Bernie Sanders (Hader) visits Hillary Clinton (McKinnon) to check on her health. Running mate Tim Kaine (Koechner) is trying to off them both and rise to the top of the ticket.

Intros

Hanks monologue
Hanks keeps saying lines that are song titles and the band starts to play. Hanks says he refuses to resort to a clichéd musical monologue. In the end, Hanks and the cast with Paul Simon sing “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”

Hate it When that Happens Girl Watching
Tom Hanks’ girl watcher character moves in across the hall from Billy Crystal’s hate it when that happens guy. They compare the weirdest things to happen to them while trying to romance a lady.

Bigfoot Encounter
Koechner and Garofalo interview three people who supposedly encountered Bigfoot. Hanks and Wayans had splendid encounters finding the creature to be gentle and intelligent, but McKinnon’s white trash chain smoker was sexually molested and then tossed off a mountain.

Vincent Price’s Arbor Day Spectacular
Vincent Price (Hader) has another holiday special go off the rails on him, this time thanks to Michael Caine (Hanks) serving everyone a mixture of scotch and tree sap. Other guests include Goldie Hawn (Elliott), Nichelle Nichols (Rudolph) and Liberace (Murray).

Paul Simon musical performance of “Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes.”

Weekend Update with Brown and Garafalo as anchors with an appearance by Olga (McKinnon) and Koechner reviewing the NFL season so far.

Stay off drugs
Damon Wayans is a star NFL player who has to talk to kids about staying off of drugs, but he instead tells them how to keep the man from finding out you’re on drugs, the best hiding places for your stash and what to do with drug addict groupies when you’re through with them. Hanks is the classroom teacher.
Paul Simon musical performance of “You Can Call Me Al.”

Virtual Sammy
Beyonce (Rudolph) does a duet of “Candy Man” with a glitching hologram version of Sammy Davis Jr. (Crystal) that sounds like he’s has turrets.

Garfield
Murray goes in the studio to do voice recordings for the first Garfield movie and nobody has the heart to tell him that it’s not really a Coen Brothers movie. Murray keeps making Coen-eque suggestions for the film, like throwing Nermal in a wood chipper. Sound engineers are Hanks and Garafalo.

Greatest Dancer
A sketch with no dialogue sees all the women in the cast swooning over Hanks in a disco setting to the song “He’s the Greatest Dancer” by Sister Sledge. However, his moves don’t quite live up to the man in the song.

Goodnights

(Also let me tout that my cast includes the only cast member in McKinnon to win an Emmy for acting on SNL as of Sunday. Go Kate!)

[Sportsguy]

That Stay Off Drugs sketch is brilliant. Love the Garfield one too.